And then theres this faggot

At least he's not the guy pointing to the left.

>>29336859
He's wading through water, you idiot.

>>29336859
>implying he isn't bayoneting the very tall man standing behind a wall

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ayyy

>>29336866
Pointing guy is very important. He tells mortar guy and machine gun guy where to shoot.

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I'm in the rice patties killing you GI

>>29336897
But it's just two lines of army guys. Are the mortarmen and machinegunners stupid?

>>29336859
Thats just Steve, no one likes Steve he's a fucking idiot

>>29336859
Hes better than the minesweeper guy, like holy fuck i need more Storm troops to assault the Tan base not search for fucking mines.

>>29336913
>implying field glass guy isn't standing next to a radio guy on my sisters window sill on the second floor providing fire control to the mortar section in the garden suppressing tan infantry supported by Lego irregularities.

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>>29336913
>two lines of army guys

You can't just line your mans up and expect shit to get done! I thought that everybody knew that pistol and binoculars guy designates targets. Radio guy calls in the information to pointing guy, who is in charge of a mortar section.

I even set it up for you.

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I had these guys

>>29337088
They look like wizards

Bazooka man is best man

Those crouching ma deuce guys were objectively GOAT.

>>29336859
That guy wouldn't be so bad if he could stand up without fucking falling over.

>>29337150
There the cowboy's and Indians

>>29337241
He looks better on the ground, like he's wounded and trying to get his rifle to get back in the fight

>>29337088

I used them as insurgents with all my other odd colours in ambush for the massive green column

>>29336936
I'd usually stand the sweepers next to the mortars and cannons to sort of act as crew. Same with the wwII style pointing guy and binoculars with hand in the air guy, but there are so damn many of them compared to regular troops.

>>29337241
protip: put clay or something on the bases
>>29337088
>>29337265
>>29337417
I had some of these and used them as militia and air cav. Indians used explosive-tipped arrows of course

>>29336927
"Steve's out of ammo again, but you have to admit the man gives no fucks. Look at him go try to stab that tank hahaha"

do adults here still play with their toy soldiers?

i want to buy a fuckton of them but i know i'd get lazy setting them up and then tell myself not to bother because i'm an adult now and i don't need toys.

but the idea still appeals to me.

>knew a kid with grey bazooka soldiers
>pinched a few and told him he must've lost them in the grass
>never believed me but didn't matter because i'd just swiped a superweapon that would see tan fall in a matter of days

>>29337670
>adults
>don't need toys
>need
Am I being detained?

>>29337670
I'll give you a tip.
The company that made the original ones, Timmee, is still around. They still use the original poses and shit so you know you're getting the real deal. They use good plastic too. You can get 100 of them on amazon for like ten bucks. They still make the tanks too.

>>29337479
You sir, are a genius.
I never thought of that.

that pissed off feeling you got when you bought the shitty no-name dollarstore ones that had mismatched weapons, and you end up with half a bag of american GIs with M-16's, and the rest of the bag a bastard mix of WWII soldiers like germans with MP40's and americans with rifles.

That amazing feeling when I found ones at a dollarstore once that actually had like 5-6 sets of all the different major countries, US, UK, Germany, Italy, Japan, Russia. And they all had specific weapons and helmets and even faces, with the Japs having little squinty gook faces, the russians having like angry faces, the brits having bren guns and stens and shit, etc.

>>29336859
>Checks for extra mags. finds none
>raises gun over head and yell
"What am I supposed to use? Harsh language!?"

>>29336917
BRRRT BRRRT BRRT
they'll be back and in greater numbas desu senpai

Im not the only one who used a magnifying glass during the mid summer sun to melt these guys right?

>>29337670
N-no.

I was just setting up some on a couple bookshelves today.
Shit, this thread makes me want to go buy some more. I don't have any civil war ones yet, used to have some divers but only have a couple now, and I always wanted to get some astronauts to nuke stuff from orbit/high shelves.

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>>29337781

Did anyone ever own that massive mountain base thing?

It had a SAM launch kind of thing (which if I remember right actually fired torpedoes, kek) and a runway that stretched out from inside. It was pretty cool except for how it meant one side got a cool built up base while the other got a few tents.

>>29337851
My friend had one but it was kind of shit desu.

Playing inside it was much better to use blocks since you could design your own forts and also destroy them in the battle.
It was ok outside but it was still more fun digging trenches and stuff.

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>>29337842
>That tiny abrams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TkC4XD8S7E

>>29337670
Iktf
>Want to have battles with the few soldiers I have left
>Nobody to have battles with, can't have one where I control both sides because my imagination is poor

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Now with the Syria expansion pack!

I seriously can't wait to have a son just so I can teach them basic military tactics using army men battles.

"make sure you keep your tank facing the enemy so your armor is strongest"

"don't send those soldiers there alone, make sure you have the big machine gun covering them!"

>>29336859
When I was a wee lad I had a armyman C-130 and it came with machineguns and everything. It was in that signature green color and came in the perfect size for army men.

>>29337851
I had an Iwo Jima one where it was a rocky mountainside with trenches and shit. It even came with the guys raising the flag and a bunch of japs.

Anyone used to take the foam packaging from boxes and use them to make forts for your army men? Not like packing peanuts, those big chunks of foam that you get in TV boxes and stuff.

>>29337968
>hey timmy
>hey chang
>whats wrong?
>my dad again
>what happened!?
>i keep trying to play with the army men he bought me but he won't let me
>whatdya mean?

>every time I try to make the red men fight the green men, he forces me to make sure they go in small groups, and have machinegun covering fire and call in CAS. He makes sure I use proper tactics and if I dont play like he wants he goes
>"BAM they all died, try again" and sweeps them off the table

>>29338008
>he keeps calling me "Haig the butcher"

>>29336909
>GI
>Bren
was there ever an instance?

>>29338008
lol. exactly

>BAM they all died, you didn't get that minesweeper guy out front to check for IEDs
>but daddy
>THEY ALL DIED BECAUSE OF YOU TIMMY

>>29336909
Not with that barrel.

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Grown men play with grown men toys.

>>29338068
Dolls are for girls. Real (future) meni micromanage armies instead of making poses.

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>>29337955
>Army going up against the cavemen
>they STILL bring that mine-sweeping motherfucker

>>29338005
Some of the first ones I got came with a play mat with some craters and a river, but it was kind of small and more fun to build stuff. Stacks of books, legos, boxes, rocks, etc. I used to set them up on/around the stereo and make walls and bunkers out of tapes and CDs as a kid. Building trenches in the garden was awesome too. Setting up two armies on opposite sides of a ping pong table and trying to knock them down was fun. It was always hardest to get the ones near the net.

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>>29337670
If you don't want to buy the real thing, you can always go for the Vidya.

>>29338091
>not buying hundreds of scale military figures and dressing them in exact kit and weaponry
>not creating massive afghanistan and iraq environments out of debris, model foliage, and play sand
>not playing general and enacting lifelike military scenarios
>ie Pvt Johnson and Pvt Manning are in the back of the humvee in went over an IED, now I pull their legs off and poor fake blood everywhere

>>29338109
I used to play the c&c games a lot and when the parents told me to get off the computer I'd start setting up army men battles. I think Westwood used to have an actual sand box on a table that was used to lay out terrain for some level designs.

Airplanes, Trucks and especially Jeeps used to annoy me.

I loved airplanes, so it really bothered me that there was no real way a child could keep one loitering above the combat zone without trying something stupid like trying string around it (now you've got unaerodynamic string) and then trying to tie that up somewhere high.

Trucks rarely fit soldiers, and when they did it involved cramming them in and a lot of trouble to get them out, but it wasn't so bad because it was easier to imagine they were inside it and just move soldiers as necessary.

This wasn't an option for Jeeps, which had big open windows but could usually only fit a soldier in the back. Even if you could get one in the seats, his hands wouldn't be on the steering wheel!

The lack of viable parachute methods used to also annoy me (either you get the ones specifically designed to parachute, in which case the chute can't be removed and they're a pain to move around, or you get ones not designed to and tie things to them which never worked as well for the dropping part, but let you untie it later), although I was usually content to just transport troops in via plane then fly them to the combat zone with helicopters.

when i was little I bought this http://www.classictoysoldiers.com/cgi-bin/ctsc6/rtl/phd.cgi?Autoincrement=006257&tag_rf=54mm%20Playsets+WWII%20Playsets%2054mm%20Toy%20Soldiers+WWII%20Figures%20(54mm)%20Manufacturers%2054mm+Classic%20Toy%20Soldiers%20(CTS)

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>>29338161
When I was younger I had the micro army men. I hot glued different colors of felt to a large base peice of grey felt so I could emulate desert vs plains. Even threw in a few Battle Kings for more vehicles and logistics support.

>>29337804
Some of my troops got chewed by the dog and became casualties. I never destroyed any outright but modified a few extras with a lighter. A spare general/captain guy with binoculars and a pistol off to the side had his arm carefully tweaked so it points to the front like he means business. Wish I had a pic but they're in a storage unit for now.

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>>>/toy/5565376

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>>29338228
A bridge to far

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Air support!

I had (have, somewhere) so many of these Ertl die casts. They had little plastic missles bombs and drop tanks you could customize onto the pylons, too.

I used to ask what all the little weapons were and what they did. He eventually got some Jane's books and told me to look them up.

> TFW arming the three Thunderbird painted F-16s, "Flying" over the tan base and flicking little white GBUs from all the wing pylons.

>>29338258

>That rifle

is that some kind of Franken Enfield-Garand?

>>29338282
It's a Lee Garfield

>>29338217
One of my friends had a ton of the micro machine ones. The forts and bases were pretty cool, but my favorite was the giant tank that could act as an APC for regular tanks or a lot of troops.

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>>29336859

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>>29338330
We live... in a world... of plastic

>>29338307
I remember I had an M-60 Patton micro machine that I loved the ever living hell out of. Probably in a shoebox somewhere with the micro army men though.

>>29338375
FULL PLASTIC JACKET

>>29338386
just realized micro machine tanks would make good R/C drones for army men, like in that 007 game(nightfire? idk). Anyone have the giant-sized army men? I used to have a few and used them as giant supersoldiers for battles.

>there are people in this thread that didn't paint their army men with white out and had winter battles

berry picker as fuck

>>29338527
FUck this thread is triggerin my autism i now wanna quit college and b a kid again :'(

>>29338527
With some modeling clay and patience you could probably make a good Goliath Tracked Mine.

>>29338038
There was all sorts of shit used in the vietnam war, some irregulars were armed with chauchats. The idea of a bren/nip copy of a bren making its way from the Pacific theatre to the rice fields isn't so far fetched.

>>29338563
Depending on the classes, you could incorporate plastic army men into a presentation or something

>>29338396
I'm leget hoping federal will do syntech 5.56x45

>>29337955
>warhammer40kbattle.jpg

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>>29338330
>>29338375

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Man I want a skeleton army with modern weapons

I had a conversation about this with a friend the other night where people who play stuff like Bolt Action and Warhammer 40K are just playing with plastic armymen with more rules, and that stuff like Airsoft and Paintball is just like playing with toy guns as a kid or sticks with more rules (everyone knew that actual toy guns were better than stick guns)

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>>29338890
Some stick guns are cool in their own right, kind of like cartridge guns vs muzzleloaders. I used to have one that looked kind of like a flintlock pistol.

>>29337955
underrated, 10/10

>>29338022
>>29338043
/k/... best father of every year.

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>>29338330
I kinda want these army men, desu.

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>>29337955
>>29339052
mine sweepers vs cave men
I guess minesweepers could be able to plant mines to be more in the fight

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>>29338890
>>29339045
First the thread make me want to get more army men, now it makes me want to build eokas

>>29339130
UPHAM AMMO GODDAMNIT

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>>29336859
I always pulled the base off of this guy's feet and used him as a sneaky infiltrator guy army crawling towards his objective

>>29338228
I used to simulate bullet wounds by heating a straightened paperclip with a lighter, poking it through them, and adding blood and gore with model paint

I also had a policeman one with his right arm out straight from his side directing traffic. I cut off his traffic arm and melted it back on in a Nazi salute pose and pretended he was an SS officer

>>29338282
>>29338305
It's clearly a Lee Enfield no4mk1 (T)

>>29337818
Hello anon

>>29337202
Did you ever get the bazooka guy who had the mismolded bazooka? Just looked like a nub he was holding. I always pretended it shot little grenades.

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>>29339199
Ah can't find muh ammo, sarge, can't find muh ammo...

>>29336859
You're meant to pose that one in water.
He's carrying his gun so it doesn't get wet.
Go find a muddy puddle for him and report back with a picture.

>>29338043

>DAMMIT SON!
>If I've told you once I've told you a thousand time
>You can't send tanks in unsupported. You need to have infantry accompany them.
>now go upstairs and brush up on your von Runstedt.

>>29339375
Don't they float in water?

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>>29339423
SO PUT A ROCK AT THE PLASTIC BASE, YOU STUPID BITCH!
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO PUT A ROCK ON THE BASE!?

>>29339130
>do a little hunting
>they're $2000 because they're art.
fuck

>>29337697
Wait...

I thought for this one it was

SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED!

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>>29339527
war is hell

>>29338258
is that a barrel thing that goes up?

>>29339552
"A well regulated playtime, being necessary to the enjoyment of a free man, the right of the people to keep and play with Army men, shall not be infringed."

I had the civil war ones with square bases that could be set up in formation, then I threw small peebles to represent cannon fire and threw sand for rifle fire volleys and saw who lasted longer

>>29339575
THE HORROR
>THE HORROR

>>29339346
Occasionally some of the thinner barrels snapped off of riflemen, making obrez gunners. I think there was at least one bazooka guy it happened with too, but oh well, sawed off rocket launcher. There was a set or two of knockoffs from the better Timmee ones that had some oddball figures. the ones that come to mind are a crouching m16 guy with no head(dubbed Roland the Armalite gunner) and the general/captain pistol and binoculars guy who was normal except his head was craned way up like he was getting assassinated or realized he was about to get airstrike'd. Fuck I wish I had pictures with me.

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>>29337670
Obviously the answer is to combine your hobbies.
>To play toy soldiers
>Yuo must become toy soldier

>>29339071
Damn, that's my dream to have father like this. Dream to have a father at all...

>>29337851
I had a kickass Micro Machines playset that was an F-11 that folded out. The nosecone opened up for internal micro machines storage, the wings had adjustable sweep, and the gear folded up. I didn't like the rattling toys inside, so I normally used it as a hyper-large Estovakian-style super bomber.

I can't find any goddamn images of it, though.

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>>29339959
I also had these panty-droppers. I'll be collecting the whole set again soon.

>>29338217
I had those same fucking ones

>>29339130
>building a miniature war operation
>we need proper historical authenticity
>masturbating solders during the fight
>yeah, that will do it, don't you think people didn't try release their stress during the fight?

>>29340005
Holy shit, do want..

>>29337670
>i don't need toys
>need

There's that word again

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>>29337697
>>29340185
AM I BEING DETAINED?
AM I BEING DETAINED??
AM I FREE TO GO?
pic related

>>29337908
Consider wargaming

>>29340312
Are there any I can play solo?

>>29338008
>>29338008
God damnit Chang if do you WANT the buggers to win?

>>29340323
I thought you couldn't play alone since your imagination was poor. Something's gotta give, anon. I know little about wargaming but I'd direct you to >>>/tg/ /wgg/, it would probably be best to ask the question there.

>>29338008
>>29338043
>>29338099
>>29339384
Kek

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>>29336859
you've obviously never played Napoleonic before pleb

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>tfw trudging outside after a snowing with 2 bags of plastic men, and setting up outside because it was the only thing that made me warm again

This is what I did with that guy

>>29338890
I play paintball and honestly, it's so far departed from any sort of war game that it doesn't really compare. The only similarity is that you have a projectile you want to hit the other team.

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>>29337955

>>29340638
FUCK SPEEDBALL
PLAY AIRSOFT

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>>29340638
>>29340974
NERF OR NUTHIN NYUCKAS
urge to set up opposing armies with someone and try to hit them with nerf darts intensifies

Little bit of bleed-over from /tg/
But I Dungeon Master a pathfinder homebrew setting set in an alternat WWI kind of thing. Custom continent and politics. But I bought a couple large packs of green and grey army men to use as allied and enemy soldiers. Shits mad fun. It's like being a kid again but with more rules like.
>I rolled a 1, what happens?
>You shoot yourself in the foot. You now have PTSD, spend 3 rounds furiously masturbating.

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>mfw used to play with this shit against my India figures that I had and also a bunch of animal figures
Used to put Indians on the lions and elephants as they attacked the soldiers shit was sweet, modern kids will never experience the fun I had since all they do is play games on their I pods or consoles, they don't even have the imagination to play with such toys.

>a friend of mine used to buy them in bulk on the cheap and set up massive battles in his massive yard
>other friends would bury firerackers under the "field" to simulate machinegun fire and artillery
>he still finds army men under his yard to this day

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>>29340287
Black helis to silently cruise over your Gray-Dominated police state...

Only a Tan-Green alliance can liberate this land.

>>29340287
My scary team be like barely clean, rockin' Israeli jeans
That's why I mostly heard and rarely seen

Realization soaked in urgency
Can't escape history's pen I be the worst of me

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I had like two dozen of these shitcunts

I fucking hate them, they're worse than the minesweeper dudes

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>>29342040
>he still finds army men under his yard to this day
So do the French and the German

How has this not been posted?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DS3YJRg4ja8

The whole series is great.

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>Buy mass amounts of plastic Army men, a Corps at least.
>Place in covert locations in the 1SG's office
>Suddently our men are knocked over with these Tan guys standing over them
>No dune colored motherfucker ever treated me right anyways.
>Start dropping some tanks and howitzers by to bolster Green forces
>Secret helicopter refueling in the potted plants
>Jet fields on little used tables with cardboard air traffic controls
>Those stupid plastic barbwire fences are everywhere
>Green Command and Tan Command explode in membership, the price being a pledge of a platoon or more of army men
>Black special ops troops join Green side, Gray elites show up on Tan side the following day
>mfw some 40 people are dedicating more time to a plastic army war then actually working

>>29338305
there goes my morning cacao

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>>29336859
This is my favorite thread on /k/
..ever I think

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Who's /tg/ here?

>>29342382
was decades ago, but never with army men.

has potential, though.

>Fireball = grenade
>Call lightning = call mortar

>>29338330
>>29339130
>>29339364
>>29339476
LOL these remind me of when my mom would buy me army men, she would also buy plastic farm animals and fencing too "So they could go home at the end of the war." I think I ended up just building hamlets for some Mai Lai shit

>Set up greens in snow fort
>Set up Tans as a siege
>Get board and cold and go inside
>Leave them there all winter
>Eventually the snow starts to melt
>Piece of cardboard I used as a door falls off as the gate metls around it

>It's time

>Tans go on the offensive
>Smash down what's left of the walls with a tanks
>The Greens make their glorious last stand
>The spring slush runs tan and green with blood

>>29337712
>they still make those little plastic dinosaurs
Holy fuck
>there's cavemen, space men, fantasy warriors and fucking pink army men

>>29342395
>Take farm
>rebuild it to Auschwitz
LOOK, MA'

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Thinking on past shenanigans with plastic army men makes me think this thread might be a good place for ideas.

We got this kind of office war ready to kick off soon, trying to gather ideas for a major battle. So far got silly string. some nerf guns, and we have these howitzers that take these 2 foot confetti shells. The plastic army men are for sure going to be placed around more now, but what else could we throw in?

No explosives, smoke, anything like that.

>pic for added relevance

>>29337905

what where the women supposed to be? Barbies, seem like a death from snu snu situtation

>>29342418
Did Sarge go all Colonel Kurtz and fuck some tan strange and thats why his Vickie looks like that?

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>>29338022

>Haig the butcher

But in all honesty, rather a father who spergs with you about tatics than one aint there.

Go dads!

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Y'all niggas heard about Team Yankee? Pretty much Red Dawn miniatures

>>29342418
Shrap was my fav when I was a kid, but he looks like such a white trash wigger wtf was I thinking

I still have several army men in a box somewhere. Wehrmacht paratroopers, among others.

In the 1980s, my younger brother and I used to paint them with model paints, in distinctive colors/ptterns, and mutilate them with hobby knives. A lot of those brave green men died in a pool of red paint. Firecrackers may or may not have been involved in battle simulations.

>>29342395
>"So they could go home at the end of the war."
Treasure your mother.

>>29342433
That whole fucking sentence was retarded in every way it could be and some brand new ways.

Congrats you retard.

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>>29342351
>germans
>not grey
>green of all things

Everyone's army men look so much higher quality than mine.
I just got mine from the $2 shop, was there some kind of name-brand version that I never heard about?

>>29342861
>was there some kind of name-brand version that I never heard about?

Timmee

>>29342413
Kek

>>29337479
>Indians used explosive-tipped arrows of course
Ah, the Navajo Rambo unit.

>>29342395
>she would also buy plastic farm animals and fencing too "So they could go home at the end of the war."
What an honest person.

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>>29338649
>>29338396

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The new Mega Bloks figures make pretty decent Army Men, and they're great bases for customs, like this

>>29338795
>mfw Games Workshop would charge 150$ for that box of shit

>>29342131
dude those tiger II and sherman are fucking awesome. Those aren't army-man tier are they? They must be actual model kits?

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>>29337781

>>29343674
Who the fuck leaked pictures of the 10th Edition boxed...er, cylindrical set?

GW IP team, to me!

>>29342208
I always pretended they were either getting shot or winding up to toss a grenade

>>29337670
ask /tg/

Imperial Guard are GOAT

>>29343674
To be fair, they use better material and much finer molds (though they do Jew you a lot)

>>29343944
I know, I'm just saying, their prices got crazy. I quit right around the same time they made a massive price hike. It sucked.

I mean I can appreciate higher quality plastic models. But still, there are chinese knock-offs nowadays that are copies of GW shit and they sell it for like a third of the price.

>>29343958
Yeah same. Been playing Dawn of War lately and I went back to see what they had available, fuck those prices...

>>29336859
>WOLVERINES!!

>>29343700
I had a very realistic metal Sherman-tank toy with working tracks.

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>not having a sweet SBR

>>29342131
ALLY WITH TAN?
NEVER

>>29343958
Actually the Chinese copies are fucking better than the originals, which is disgraceful.

Less flash and warping than real Forgeworld, and leagues ahead of Shitcast for a third of the price.

Cudos to OP for this thread getting me in touch with old friends for a battle with army men.

>>29336859
I always made him a "casualty." I never figured out he was wading through water I always thought he was doing some sort of retarded bayonet attack.

>>29343719
underrated post

>>29342208
>>29343787
I remember there being two versions of this guy. One had a grenade and the other had an empty hand like he was waving troops forward and saying 'COME ON YOU APES, DO YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER?" or patting mortar and radio guys on the back

>tfw used to set up 500 of these niggers in the garden
Would leave the dead there for months
Garden was scatters with dead GIs

>>29345558
>leave the dead there for months

LEAVE NO SYNTHETIC PETROCHEMICALS BEHIND!

>Army men level
>"Toy Soldiers" starts playing

I remember getting some plastic army men a long time ago and Dad telling me he used to have a mold to make troops out of wax or whatever when he was a kid. Anyone else have or hear about those? I want to try to make something similar and use a glue gun with it.

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>>29342219

>>29340005
If those are the ones I had, they were made of metal. I threw the mustang once and hit my brother in the mouth.

How green was my valley, rosebud.

>>29337955
>Civ V.jpg

>>29347563
>the cavemen win

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>>29342745
So much

>>29347563
>>29347596
lost it

So I've came to the conclusion that I was the only person that cared about mine?

Never Left a man behind. Green or Tan, broke or not. No man was left in the lawn...

Either we all came home or none of us.

>>29348029
May man, I agree. I took care of my toys. But fuck the tans... commie bastards.

COME OUT YOU GREY AND TANS
COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN
SHOW YOUR WIFE HOW YOU WON MEDALS IN THE PLAYGROUND
TELL HER HOW THE GREEN ARMY
MADE YOU RUN LIKE HELL AWAY
FROM THE GREEN AND LOVELY PATHS IN THE GARDEN

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>>29343638
megablock figures are pretty fucking based
shame they only got good recently
they used to be like the lego figurines but with texture
>lego still beter to build shit tho

>>29339130
>Takes off shirt
>Keeps helmet on

okay.

>>29337891
what kind of fucking expression is that fish's face supposed to be conveying?

>>29348338
Protecting your head in a warzone is important though, you should always wear protection

>>29336859
You calling that brave trooper a faggot? You know what that guy is actually doing? That move of the rifle upside down in hands with bayonet attached was an official silent communication signal from WWII to the Vietnam era for indicating contact with the enemy. His rifle is pointing in the direction of enemy troops. You dickless piece of shit cowards thank that prave PFC with a "Good eye, Private!" or I will one-arm you into the fucking ground. DISMISSED!

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https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/87343821/Army%20Men%20Rules.pdf

I made a really simple army men war game. I guess this is the right thread for it??

>>29337908
see
>>29348380

>>29338330

>saving me tax dollars

That's a real hero.

I've made a few army men stopmotions. I'll share em to bump the thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-R2r27QRqU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBDOwzAxnZo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Dbu3oM0rt8

>>29348417
Ow! I think I just cut myself on that edge!

>>29348437
Someone on /k/ shared this with me about a year ago so now I'm paying it forward
https://vimeo.com/26645299

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>>29348453

> not recognizing the reference

>>29337955
IG v Orks

>>29348492

30 seconds in and I love it. Thanks anon.

>>29348492

Aww they melted.....

Did anyone have the C-130?

Fuck it was the coolest thing. Completely OD Green, but it had a ramp at the back and you could take off the entire wing set to disassemble it.

I can't find it anywhere now;_;

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>>29348601
I saw it in stores all the time, but never bought it.

>>29348380
I think I had a game I'd saved off /tg/ buy can't find it now. Thanks anon

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>>29337670

I buy the high end ones now and paint them.

>>29348029
It always worried me to see people destroy theirs on purpose.

All of mine made it home as well.

>>29342208
I had those guys too, but the molds were shitty so it looked like they were throwing grenades.

>>29342418
Holy shit the minesweeper guys seen some shit.

>>29342418
>woman has regular skin tone
huh?

>>29344607
is there a website where they are still available?

>>29345313
that's the thing. Those guys aren't useless. They're good to use as squad leaders, or mortar/mg crew, etc. the problem is when you get a bag of 30 soldiers, and 15 of them are either these assholes or the minesweeper guys.

>>29348437
>Tank driving backwards

>>29348990

It's a rare example of actual for real sexism in video games.

>>29343700
They are for green plastic men, but the sets they came from were made from a higher quality alloy of plastic as did the soldiers they came with.

>>29348990
she's a half-green half-tan mulatto.

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>>29348358

>>29337789
What, is he Mathias Nilsson?

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>>29348264

Neato.

I used to make bunkers out of Jenga bricks.

>>29349159
lol how long have you been waiting to post that?

>>29342220
I've got a fever, and the only cure is more Wilhelm scream.

>>29348029
I felt the exact same way bro.
I still have one single army man to this day that I keep safe.

>>29342220
>Nope, we don't take prisoners!
Holy shit, this was intense

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Pic related remainder of my 5 factions

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Greys. Weird thing is a spyplane

>>29339130

>TheGreenWeenie.jpg

Why is finding good quality planes so hard?

You can go with die-cast ones, but they're almost always at a scale where a single soldier is taller than a B-2

>>29342395

Holy shit my mom said the same thing.

Brother????

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Remainder of the greens, now act as a shitty peacekeeping force

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The darks, no one likes the darks

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The tans

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>He doesn't have a fuckhuge searchlight that fires a missile at the enemies

STEP IT UP, SENPAI

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>>29337088

FUCK YES

But, who here /micromachines/? They were goat.

Some muhrines, used to pretend they were mercenaries

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>>29349687
Forgot pic

>>29349685
>>29349677

>Micromachines

FUCK YES.

I still have mine... somewhere. I remember when they invaded the pussy-ass Hotwheel nation, those die-cast cucks never saw it coming.

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>>29349710

I used to build big lego fortresses and then bomb them with marbles and attack with my micromachines.

I hope they're still in a box at my dad's house, I have a huge collection. All the Star Wars ones too.

>>29344180
Arigatou Gyro

>>29344180
Sir, do you have a stamp for that?

>>29348674
So I did some googling.
This site has a bunch of info and some war game rules:
http://www.thortrains.net/armymen/

This looks to be more aimed at kids:
http://www.juniorgeneral.org/index.php/scenario/

These are playground style rules:
http://www.angelfire.com/games2/warpspawn/GPM.html

Very simple rules:
http://www.alliancemartialarts.com/1BCToySoldiers.pdf

And for those wanting to actually pay:
http://combatstorm.com

>>29349107
Fuckin' moolies man

>>29349871
At least she's pretty hot

>>29349735

>TFW had some of those and lost most

I still have two base sets, though. I used to set them up and exchange missiles between them.

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>>29349885

>you will never be a kid again

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>>29349685

Okay, you inspired me. I went and dug my old toys out of the attic, found a few survivors amongst the metric ton of Lego.

>>29349946

Nice. I had all of those. I have to say though, I have always hated the Thunderbirds paint scheme. Just not my thing.

Do you have any more?

>>29349959

I always liked the green/white camo like the Hind has.

Those were all I could find for now. I think I have some buried somewhere. They're being passed on to my kids and grandchildren, assuming it will still be legal for kids to play with assault toys by then.

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I actually would love to have a day to play with toys one final time.I use to have this massive wooded board where I would create cities out of Hot Wheels tracks and those motorized train toys and grey boxes as buildings. I would summon this nigga and have the green army men fight him.

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>>29349978

Good shit.

>tfw no F-22/F-35 micromachines

>>29349919
Bull shit. If other people can get themselves tied up and beat with a cane for gratification, then I can play with little plastic green army men for shits and giggles if I damn well please.

>>29349413
A little while haha

>>29348636
>>29348601
Found one a few years ago at a goodwill store for a couple bucks. Bought for my kids someday.

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>>29348636
I had one of those cocksuckers. Took hella beatings from throwing it out of trees and shit. Good times.

>>29349032
obviously, they are making a cheese sandwich

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>>29338607
i took a boring art history class with 3 friends. we bought some of these miniature guys for a few buck from the local dollar store and had full scale battles during lectures with them.

good times

this thread needs this

>>29350511
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eY053duzS8

>>29349327
Holy shit this, jenga blocks and dominos made awesome forts

>>29349866

You're welcome.

>>29350165
>had full scale battles during lectures with them

How did you not get kicked out?

I have 2500+ army men

$50 from Rhode Island Novelty

P.good
Pic tomorrow

>>29339130
instant section 8

>>29342131

>Tan-Green alliance

DISGUSTING.

>>29348636
jesus i had that, you just hit me right in the nostalgias

do kids even play with army men nowadays?
nevermind video games and smart phones and tv, there's probably too many liberal parents telling them not to

there's going to be a generation of kids who have never touched a green army man in their life

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>>29342395
My mother told me the same thing. She bought me a model train and sheep and women and children after my dad bought my army men. She helped me make the town the soldiers were from, named their wives and children.


The feel /k/,

>>29351486
I gave my army men to these two brothers I used to babysit, this was 10 years ago, but they loved them.

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>>29351486
Micromachines are gone I think, toy guns, cap guns etc mostly gone. I remember buying that shit at the base PX because we were poor, kept me company for a long time.

I remember back in the day I had this baller white die cast B-1 with folding wings and shit and we were living at Scott AFB. Some dudes saw me playing on my way home, I was pretty young and GW was still on.

Anyway there was a B-1B passing through, I guess it would have been on it's way to whiteman AFB? Anyway this MSGT who lived next door to us, saw me and got me into the hangar. Shit was super cool.

The dudes working on it hooked me up with some sweet patches and generally ruined me forever. "This is where the nukes would go, flash fry bad guys like it's going out of style".

90s were kinda alright sometimes, I have that silly B-1B somewhere I suppose.

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this thread makes me miss my childhood.

Still have most of it all somewhere, i know we got rid of the playsets though for micro machines, ill post the ones i used to have

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Stealth bomber plates was one of my favorites

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and lastly van city was the true ringer

>>29349610
THIS

>>29342425

Definitely Barbie influenced but still plastic soldiers.

>>29351757
I played the crap out of mine. I tore off the stickers and marked it up with pens. Man, this takes me back.

>>29351757
i still remember the commercial for this and begging my parents for one.

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>>29342433

Vicky wasn't Sarge's daughter, she was Colonel Grimm's. It's never explained why the women have tan skin.

And the Kurtz of the Army Men universe is Colonel Blintz.

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>>29342220

anyone else ever used rubber band guns to knock army men over?

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When I was young, Me and my broth r would collect bottles from a near by wash, mow lawns, pull weeds, clean swimming poole and even sold lemonade to buy pic related.

I would buy a couple of the rifleman and my brother bought the Japs they made, we'd build our own beaches in the backyard and reenact a pacific war battle after watching World at War with my dad.

Those were the days guys

>>29336859
O hate those fuckers do they not realize that the powder will still get wet.

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>>29352003
These are some of the Japs you could buy, my interested in all things WWII and guns began with these guys and watching WWII docs with my dad

>>29351972
Will pretending it's an artillery strike by the enemy? YES!

>>29351486
>probably too many liberal parents telling them not to
this thought amuses me since my parents are the most liberal people ever (detest hero-worship of the military and want to cut military spending) but they got me more toy soldiers and tanks, jets, etc than i knew what to do with. dad used to play with them with me too.

if kids can't have toy soldiers now, it's a shame nobody's made an iPad app or something that lets you do the same basic thing. it's probably down more to technology than anything else that kids don't bother with soldiers anymore.

>>29351486

Definitely. Kids like being able to feel things in their hands. There's a creative element to it too. My nephew hides army men in my plants and keeps them there until he comes over the next time. He says they're scouting.

>>29352336
My little cousin does that too.

>>29352344

I remember doing it when I was a kid with my old Gundam toys.

I think boys are just prone to hiding toys in plants.

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Better than this smug fuck

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>This whole thread
This is why I love you /k/, god I miss being a kid.

Does anyone paint their army men like models? I've been thinking about doing that for a while now.

>>29352344
>>29352368
I still do that. I grew up strategically placing them in plants around the house and would put them in the Christmas tree to guard the presents.

>>29339346
I used to have a shitton of those mismolds. I ended up breaking off the nubs and gluing them on the right end, so I could pretend they were Soviets (they were mostly tan).

>>29352417
I had a bunch of them too.
I just put them inside the vehicles I used to make with cardboard and make them the drivers/pilots.

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>>29352417

>tfw 21, still live at home and want to buy $20 worth of little green army men and just put them around the house.

>>29349685
oh god i spent so much time playing with those

>>29351747
i had that

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>>29348437
Kek found that short barreled browning from the first vid

>>29348437
wow these are pretty well done

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>>29348264

>>29338890
Try to hide my power level but I have a really realistic M16A1 and shit and when we go innawoods it feels like nam and it gives me a boner.

my latin teacher in highschool had a model of rome in the back of the class, so one day i came in early and planted a ton of miniature armymen around it to make it look like they were invading.

it took a week or two before anyone noticed. then they slowly migrated around the room to various other positions. there was a mortar team set up on the bookshelf thats still there as far as i know.

>>29339199
SHIT IN MY HANDS SIR

>>29339575

We need to make a tiny Kube out of tiny plastic weapons.

>>29338043
>>29338161
>tfw my father was exactly like that
"you sent a column of tanks alone?"
"but dad, tanks are strong!"
"No. Look, there is a mine that will take out the first one, a bazooka for the last one, and the remaining ones are stuck on the road and will get burned."

>play Blitzkrieg, infantry falls on a mine field
"Take them out of here NOW!"
>don't react fast enough because my tanks are under attack in an another place
"Well I hope you feel great, you're a war criminal now"

>decide that barbed wire is now decent cover because I always had tons of it but never enough sandbags and brick walls
"great, now your soldiers are exposed and have nowhere to hide" while he brings out a couple tanks

>send 50+ infantry seize his 6-man position
"nah, look, I have an entrenched machine gun and a mortar, your infantry is now blown to shreds. Why didn't you use tanks or artillery?"

But even if he was a harsh teacher, now I'm glad about it, I learned a lot and it was awesome. Plus, he gave me his models, so along with the generic Patton and Centurion-looking toy tanks, I had air cover from nicely made Bf-109s, P-51 Mustangs, and (lel) F-4s and SR-71s. (the prop planes were CAS, the jets were fighters)

The best part was that we had a 4x4 meter (12x12ft) sandbox that made the best battlefield ever. You could make tunnels, walls, bridges, rivers (with rain water), all sorts of awesome shit. Plus, we shared soldiers : I had the tan ones, my father the green ones, my brother the grey ones (he had less of them, but they looked much better), and we painted our tanks to distinguish them. My brother painted them flat tan, my father's were tan and brown, and I went for the British WW2 desert camo, tan, brown and light blue.

A shout out to the soldiers and small tanks that got buried never to be found again when one of us decided to blow up with firecrackers a tunnel or wall.

It was fucking cash, 10/10 will get my future son a large ass sandbox and tons of plastic army men.

>>29352529

We had battle for the Christmas tree and other decorations with my brother. We still find little soldiers in the cardboax where we store the decorations.

>>29339959
anon just triggered flash back to micro machine aircraft carrier that I forgot owning... the feels

I remember I sat on one and he broke so my grandma and I put him in a little white box with American flag stickers on it as a memorial

>>29343638
snake? ...snake!? SNAAAAKE!!!

>>29350013
pic have story?

>>29336859
goodnight /k/. bad ass memories, time to drink them away

>>29338008

I love /k/

>>29349159
I coulda told them that without them wasting tax dollars setting up a study, then again I guess they need their 'proof' for anything. Facial expressions is like Chinese to me.

>>29351663
Micro machines kinda sorta came back. Currently the 'revived' line is Star Wars only. There are good things and bad things about the new ones, on the good side in general the proportions and sculpt work tend to be more accurate, but they are lazy as all heck with the paint jobs, like good lord you don't fully appreciate how decently painted the old ones were till you see these. things like star destroyers are just entirely bare plastic.

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I had a bunch of the Forces of Valor stuff as a kid, had the Americans and Brits with 3 Shermans and a P-51 for air support. The Germans had a half-track and a Stuka for air support, I used to set them up like it was Saint-Lo and make little movies, those were the best. Really accurate figures too, I think I need to pull them out again.

Pic related, one of my Shermans

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>COME ON YOU APES, YOU WANNA LIVE FOREVER?!

My best friend had a bunch of these army guys when he was a kid. Every so often he would set one up on the railroad tracks near his house and watch the train go by. When he'd come back out there would be a long green streak 500ft long in the tracks.

>>29355916
>in the tracks.
ON the tracks. fucking typos.