/brit/

love FAT COCKS

janny

rip

he's here

watching

waiting

don't believe in love. always just assume couples are just settling for not terrible

thread aveggner

>get in a boxing match
>complain the opponent is breaking the rules because he has barbed wire wrapped around his gloves
>everyone ignores you
>get absolutely annihilated for the length of a usual boxing match
>piss and moan the whole time about cheating
>after 15 rounds, the match gets called off
>claim victory
>bleed out

absolutely terrified of a full strength janny

*cowers in the shadows*
I-is it safe? Has the thread avenger gone?

Lads do you stand up to wipe your arse or stay sitting?

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that time of year again.... soon

>>79360353
Used to stand up until I was made aware of the possibility of doing it sitting.

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will spend 10k for this amazing hood

>>79360353
stand up because I don't want to stick my hand into the fucking bog

>>79360353
i squat

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big fan

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... yanks ...

>>79360370
OOH LOOK AT ME, MY HAND'S TOO GOOD FOR THE BOG

>>79360370
can't get an appropriate depth standing. bet you smell.

>>79360358
a festive celebration, perhaps?

why does janny show up and delete the thread then fuck off?

whats his game plan here?

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egg

>£27,690 for an electric Golf

fuck off i could buy a range rover for that

>>79360353
a sort of squat stand

don't understand how people can do it whilst sitting unless they have a giant toilet
or maybe they're just perched on the edge which just seems impractical

>>79360393
looks like you missed a gimmick chevron in your post there matey

Can't believe how badly the thread avenger BTFO the last OP

JANNY JANNY
YOUVE TORN YOUR DRESS
JANNY JANNY
YOUR FACE IS A MESS

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>gimmick chevron

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want this

>>79360406
t. the thread avengers bf

>>79360398
crashing this general

with no survivors

Wait, people stand up to wipe their arse? HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA WTF

spilled willy syrup on meself lads

>>79360389
Not him but i do a slight bending over and spread my cheeks a bit
reckon if i didnt have shit on my arsehole at the time it'd be quite sexy

>>79360400
feel sick

>>79360389
depth? what the fuck? you're wiping your arse, not stimulating your prostate you horrendous bender
arse smells lovely because I have a proper diet

>>79360406
stop samefagging you cringy mong
janny only shows up once a day anyway, I'm going to make another early thread

can you just fuck off

>>79360374
never understood the irrational hatred against bezels

>maintains the structural integrity of the phone
>a smaller screen means it's less likely to break
>accentuates the stylishness of the rest because the designers have more space to play around with
>the entire purpose of a phone is to call people anyway and you don't look at the screen for that

>not having someone wipe ur arse for you

fucking surrounded by working class runts

I lean to the side to wipe...why the fuck would you do something else?

>>79360433
Decent band, but with only one good song. Would not wear that shite.

>>79360446

>He doesn't do a handstand

>>79360466
dirty poo-smelling degenerate

Why are you all so underage?

shall be making a virgin shtiting vs chad shitting post

expect it in a few hours

>>79360492
How can they be a decent band if they only have one good song?

>>79360466
puttering at this

literally stop reading a post as soon as I witness a capital letter that's not I

>>79360353
neither, i clean my bum in the shower

>>79360492
idiot

>>79360508
i thought of one thatd be quite funny but i'll give you the idea instead
"the virgin critique vs the chad death threat"

>arrive in the bathroom
>give the toilet seat a cursory inspection
>all clear
>give it a wipe anyway, better safe than sorry
>using my own wet wipes of course
>do my business as cleanly as possible
>tear off a few modest squares of loo roll
>neatly fold them
>shove my whole fucking hand into the bog water, stir it around with my fresh log of shit and smear the horrid concoction all over my twitching arsehole

>>79360521
same but also with punctuation

>>79360518
Good>Decent

Most of their songs are decent. One of them is good. Overall, they're a decent band, not a good band.

>>79360521
i dont even do that

>>79360549
puttering at this

>>79360529
says the twat in the marquee moon hoody

Not sure why /brit/ gradually reverted to its baser animalistic tendencies and did away with the norms of written English altogether. Find it quite disconcerting to be honest.

>>79360555
looks like Zooey Deschanel

getting my daily dose of styxhexenhammer666 lads

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>Not sure why /brit/ gradually reverted to its baser animalistic tendencies and did away with the norms of written English altogether. Find it quite disconcerting to be honest.

>>79360582
bit of a runt infestation

>>79360582
Lot of runts posting from a council estate school classroom.

salt and vinegar: the chad crisp
cheese and onion: the virgin crisp

>>79360613
kill, fuck, marry

>finish shit
>Stand up, shit smearing all over arsehole and willy dripping piss everywhere
>Shove my hand with 1 square of loo roll into my arsehole
>Glutes are too contracted to get all the shit off

business idea: mini-series on life on the council estate

ironically watching the lovely bones

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EP_kVaENf6Q

>>79360582
using """proper""" punctuation, capitalising, etc. is pointless given the whimsical and fleeting nature of /brit/, it implies a lofty, inflated belief of the poster that their posts are somehow important and/or notable
basically only redditers do it

>>79360555

had a gf that looked like this

>>79360662
very mediocre film

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>>79360641
>salt and vinegar

>>79360613
is that dylan roof

>>79360648
what?
when you stand up you're not smashing your cheeks together
it's really easy to just keep them spread without getting shit everywhere

>>79360609
he's a good lad, smarter than sargon and molyneux for sure

>>79360667
why do people do this

>>79360641

Prawn cocktail are the chad flavour

>>79360609
puttering at this

hate the irish

>>79360690
LOL 2 SPICY FO WYPIPO

>>79360714
will accept that also

>>79360697
There's no way you're wiping properly by doing this mate. Howling at the thought of how you must smell

puttering at this
puttering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at thisputtering at this

>>79360679
first saw it when i was 15 abd remember liking it even though it was a bit gay what with the main character being a girl and everything

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>wiping

https://ukred.com/rim-seat.php

just ordered one of these lads

>>79360737
I'm wiping just fine
I use a wet wipe after wiping with bog roll too
I have a very clean arse

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>>79360727

>>79360737
dont think about me ever again

eating sausage and bacon baps

>>79360748

HOWLING

business idea: a dog bred and trained to love the smell and taste of human shite, for use as a post-poo bum cleaner

>>79360768
hate having stuff like this in my internet history

>>79360768
>rim
bit gay

>literally physically impossible to wipe sitting down and not plunge your hand in a bowl of toilet water and fresh shit

>sitting twats have to rely on a strawman argument of "I can't imagine standing up so I-I hope your bum smells or I h-have no argument"

>>79360666
contention: leveling the social playing field and throwing questions of class and race aside by tacitly enforcing /brit/speak through fedoraposting and widespread use of obtuse gimmicks destroys the individualism that once characterised the crème de la crème of this community's contributions to /int/ as a whole

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me and the missus

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>>79360752
>it was a bit gay what with the main character being a girl and everything

>>79360814
How high up is your toilet filled? Are you literally an American?

>leans to wipe whilst sitting
>falls off the toilet

wtf this is a terrible idea

used to wipe my bum standing up but made a conscious decision to start doing it standing down at some point in my early teens

haven't looked back

love thread aveneger

fuck off memer

>>79360821
>celebrating individualism
literally rebbit

>>79360814
sitters are actually squatting. standers are actually bending over. the real debate is between squatters and benders (not that kind though)

does this mean all germans stand to poo when they wipe? surely they can't get a hand in there with the poo shelf?

>>79360860
sitting down i mean

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>contention: leveling the social playing field and throwing questions of class and race aside by tacitly enforcing /brit/speak through fedoraposting and widespread use of obtuse gimmicks destroys the individualism that once characterised the crème de la crème of this community's contributions to /int/ as a whole

>>79360898
I preferred it when you said standing down.

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need an british gf

>>79360814
What kind of poverty toilet do you have? Alternatively how fat are you?

>eating a fancy restaurant
>get sauce on my mouth
>hmm perhaps I should raise this napkin to my face to wipe it off
>nah fuck that
>shoves my whole face and napkin together in my spaghetti and swirls it around going blblblbl

>>79360555
fine post

didn't even know anyone wiped while sitting down
the real question is do you wipe back to front or front to back
I personally do a mixture of both to get a good all round coverage

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ffs janny do your job

>>79360922
>>79360882
>>79360843
>>79360807
sort it out janny, we're not paying you for nothing

>>79360941
why did you do that

>>79360957
because if I didn't apparently my cheeks would be too tense or something and my face would smell, apparently

>>79360953
back to front
poo on my balls as we speak

used to crack my nuckles by intertwining the fingers of each hand and pushing my palms outward but made a conscious decision to start cracking them in fists like i was about to beat someone up at some point in my early teens

haven't looked back

who /neoliberal/ here?

>>79360953
wipe it all onto my bollocks then sinkwash them after

feel sad whenever i have to travel through rough areas because the people look normal and healthy until like age 15 at which points the paleness of their skin and the lines start showing through and then they don't grow as tall as they should because of poor nutrition.

wish i live in america where the poor communities are mostly black since black don't crack and black people tend to be bigger regardless of conditions . white people look so sad and ugly when they're poor

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>nuckles

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>>79360988
what

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>>79360953
side to side

>sitting and wiping

people who do that were raised by their mums
only women sit to wipe since they have to do that normally for a piss when they wipe their fannies to get rid of the excess piss

>>79360994
>>79361016
you're supposed to make sure the final wipe is a front to back to keep any remaining poo away from your balls

>>79361014
classical liberal myself

socially liberal and economically conservative, simple as

>>79361023
how long has this mspaint comic been around? its barely if ever modified such as the pepe

pepe is a mongrel meme

toilet paper conveyor belt is pure

the real question is what would be the max amount of loo roll squares you'd use for an arse wipe
I personally like to use 3 squares per wipe

>>79361024
whoops haha

>>79361043
can unironically remember me dad teaching me to wipe my arse on holiday in Holland

>>79361084
atleast 3

>>79361030
exactly

>>79361097
sounds like your dad is a nonce

>>79361097
sweltering at this

Used to keep a washing up liquid bottle full of water next to the bog, so that after the preliminary dry wipe, I could wet the bogroll for a wet wipe. It would go:

Dry wipe
Wet wipe
Dry wipe

My arse has only been that clean after a bath/shower. Stopped doing it because a washing up liquid bottle full of water next to the bog was raising eyebrows amongst my peers.

>>79361060
based

>>79361014
im ordo liberal

>>79361138
alri dad

>>79361043
>it's the povvo single parent runts AGAIN
for fuck's sake, you lot

>Londoners resorting to "micro-flats"
pathetic, how subservient do you have to be for that
could the government not solve half of the problems of such a massively london-centric britain so easily by moving civil service jobs out of westminster and into cheap areas with already existing infrastructure? realistically is there any reason at all for having them all in london? seems like it's actively disadvantageous since it means their salaries (funded by the taxpayer) have to be high enough to adjust to london's cost of living

>>79361138
fuck you're pears

>>79361084
Fucking loads. Fistfuls. Every time I wiped, I thought about how fucked I'd be if I was in the army, and people realised I was the cause of the shit ticket shortage.

have never wiped my arse

janny come on dude

does anyone here use a bidet? are you supposed to use it after wiping or instead of?
whenever i've come across one the stream just seems too weak to do anything

>>79361185
scetastifying thought

>>79361188
>>79361150
>>79361112
>>79361071
>>79361039
>>79360981
>>79360922
>>79360882
>>79360843
>>79360807
puttering at this

love povvo porn me

>>79361178
puttering at this

>>79361156
>single parent
nah
my mum was just lazy and shit at bringing up kids
dad did a much better job

puttering at this

someone make a new

Doing bad in life, if you don't hear from me in a week, it's because I 'cided.

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the bf and I

girl i know offered to fuck me and i said no thanks and now she's calling me gay

fragile little egos women have

>>79361281
don't care

>>79361274
Don't antagonise the Thread Avenger mate.

>>79361281
faust loving twat

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Hmmmm yes

>>79361294
bender

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just realised its september 11 lads

>>79361315
nah i just don't find her attractive

she thinks she's hotter than she is because her ex bf basically worshipped her

>>79361317
unnecessary attachment

microsoft putting video ads on solitaire is honestly the worst thing they've ever done

PLEASE make a new thread

not a fan of the spamming gimmick tbqh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe0SmaBUZT0

:)

thread avenger will NOT be happy about this copy paste malarkey

>>79361374
shallot

>>79361314
reckon the subhuman who decided yellow was a good colour for licence plates should be exhumed and summarily executed

whenever I see a new south welshman driving past with their piss-stained plate I have the spontaneous urge to run them off the road

threads ruined with this wanker

just realised it's september 11th

forgot to throw a party

>>79361394
THAT'S WHY YOU SHOULD MAKE A NEW ONE

are foreigners even human? it's hilarious how full on sarcastic you can be and they still don't get it

>>79361402
is it your birthday?

>>79361294
this. it's amazing how arrogant average /below average looking women are can't even imagine that some of us have standards. has to be something wrong with the guy, not with them

t. speaking from simliar experience when called gay when didnt want to fuck her

>>79361414
nah my dad's birthday

steppin on the beach
doot doot doot doot

australia is gods own country

>>79361404
fuck off

Love millennial woes video on Notting hill carnival

>>79361405
but he'll just follow us

>>79361294
have you considered that she may be right?

>>79361415
>>79361430
FUKC YOU!!

>>79361378
Thread Avenger only attacks early new threads. Nowt he can do about spamming or any other kind of /brit/ faux pas. But trust me, I know the Thread Avenger and he is standing by in case any more early new threads get posted.

women belong in the kitchen or on the cock

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I SUMMON THE JANNY

>>79361433
tbf in this case she's actually about a 6 or 7 but she's just not my type if im honest, she looks like she's going to get fat when she's older too

>>79361459
>Nowt he can do about spamming or any other kind of /brit/ faux pas
obviously or he'd be constantly attacking himself for capitalising, full stopping and redditspacing

netflix subtitles always say All Right when they mean Alright
very annoying

>>79361459
how was this an early you mong? the previous was over 310

>>79361481
dont fucking tell us TELL EM

>>79361472
umm ok why wouldn'y tou want to sleep with someone who is pretty unless u dont like sex

>>79361477
>capitalising, full stopping and redditspacing
All signs of an educated, diligent poster.

oh yeah, new episode of rick & morty lads xx haha 9/11 isnt that bad wahey (yehaw)

>>79361498
i am gay so i dont like

>>79361507
on reddit

>>79361477
HOWLING

>>79361490
Hence, no abuse is being constantly and vigilantly directed at the OP.

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just do this

>>79361498
i'm a virgin so maybe i don't like it

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>>79361532
THREAD AVENGER SDO SOMETIHNG!!!!

>>79360433
Shit band. Shit jacket simple as.

>>79361552
plot twist: thread avenger is the one spamming

>>79361578
that's what hes implying, no?

does shenandoah us the same music as wild mountain thyme or am I imagining it?

>>79361588
nigg

>>79361593
not sure what either of those things are

>>79361578
He's the forlorn OP of the previous, deleted thread. So devastated over his loss, he became Thread Avenger's arch-nemesis: The Spam Artist.

>>79361588
idiot fuckhead nigger fag

why not just filter him

>>79361596
>>79361617
alri aussie ausborne

>>79361612
Spam Autist more like.

>>79361604
folk songs

>>79361661

>>79361661

>>79361661

>>79361661

I am moses and I will lead my people to the promised land

sometimes i think i'm a loser but then I remember at least I don't spam the same nonsense in /brit/ for hours

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*activates the thread avenger signal*

>>79361633
>expecting redditers to be that clued up on using 4chan

>>79361768
Alri u having fun there mate?

i'd rather be watching anime than gazing this joke thread

reckon we should set up a kickstarter for the janny due to his selfless service to the community which castigates him relentlessly

they don't make men like him anymore

if i was the janny
i'd never let you post
any early new threads
right under my nose

Just keeping this one warm for when the lads get back.

>>79362104
ive never left baby

Only piss standing up when I'm using a public toilet
Much prefer doing it sitting down; no splashing

egg

>>79364107
eggsaggerating

>>79364158
epic

>>79364190
tranny lezdom

That's all three.

>>79364276
This one.

Accelerationism 2bh

Nearly did an unplanned poo just then. Best get off to bog.

>>79364476
Good opportunity to teach your kid about mental illness.

Had salisbury steak and colcannon for dinner. Gotta love globalisation!

>>79364730
Spam and cheese sarnies for me.