/brit/

LMAO

L M A O
M
A
O

Shart In the Mart!
SHART... IN THE MART!

How can we handle a meme so supreme?

We mart sharters? Sharters of the mart?

Before we begin to even try and comprehend this meme, this meme most supreme, we must break it into its constituent memetics.

First and foremost, we have the shart. The shart at the start. It starts... with a shart.

Shart.

SHART.

S H A R T
H
A
R
T

Even at this early stage, you can hardly contain your preliminary giggles. But we are, after-all, merely starting (with the sharting).

Shart. Say the word. Swish it around in your mouth. Get to know the shart.

Is it a shit? Is it a fart? No, it’s nothing else but a shart. *The* shart. The shart at the start.

By this point, you’ve a healthy appreciation for the meme. You’re well acquainted with the shart. The shart at the start. But what comes next? Surely, if we were to end this with a simple shart, we would have a half-meme. A me, if you will. So you ponder to yourself, “What can follow up the shart? The shart at the start?”

You dwell on this for a bit longer, then it dawns on you...

WHERE?

The question is begged...

WHERE do we shart?

Of course, there is only one viable option.

The mart.

THE MART!

T H E
H
E

M A R T
A
R
T

Shart... IN THE MART!

SHART IN THE MART!

IT ALL COMES TOGETHER!

S H A R T
H
A
R
T

I N
N

T H E
H
E

M A R T
A
R
T

It’s beautiful in its blunt simplicity.

Shart in the mart.

And that, my friends, is how memetics are born.

t. Mart Sharter :^)

>>78025322
nigger

any kebab man in

>>78025358
so mad

Awful threads so far tonight
what's going on

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girls are so fucking what god damn

Pay day recently, quite happy with my purchases:
"Loser Therapy: You Are Nothing" - $9.99
>The first in my Loser Therapy series which is all about cruel, bitchy verbal hvmiliation. breaking down your pervy kinks and fetishes. I want you to understand something - you mean nothing, to me, or to anyone. There's no reason for you to be alive really, unless you want to make yourself useful. Buy this vid and hear how you can make your loser ass worth the oxygen you breathe.

"You're a fuck up." - $3.00
>You're a failure. NO ONE likes you. Everyone can see right through you, idiot.

"Job interview humiliation" - $8.99
>You come into a job interview. It starts off normal, with just going thru your resume, telling her about your previous work experience, strengths and weaknesses. Then she gives you a few scenarios, and you tell her how you would handle them. She begins to throw out very kinky sexual scenarios, and you're extremely uncomfortable and confused. You answer her questions, and they get more and more extreme. (coerced gay, bukkake, cum eating, etc) After you answer all her questions-- psych! You were never going to get this job, you're pathetically unqualified and she can't believe you actually bought all that. She laughs and you feel humiliated.

"Why Are You So Obsessed With Cock" - $9.99
>Second in the Loser Therapy series all about cruel, bitchy hvmiliation. Why are you so obsessed with cock? It's all you can think about - being filled up and servicing cock. Gross. Watch me stroke my big dildo while I tell you all about why you REALLY crave cock and how fucking nasty your pervy fantasies are.

all in all £24.50 well spent

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anime

that yank 'roo wasn't bad to be fair.

just eatin cheese n bread

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>>78025322
not a bad edition

nth

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'zu

Rorke moans about "free speech and democracy" yet gets angry when leftypol express their opinions in /brit/

Rorke is fucking stupid

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do you reckon aidan gillen knows about baneposting?

>>78025404
your willy in a box

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>>78025404

>>78025404
the shops with him on top of the twin towers and the one with yuzu

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*tags Deano*

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Really wish I had a gf

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>>78025404
this image, obviously

>>78025442
don't have those images

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>Have a job
>Learning to drive
>Go to the gym

Why the fuck haven't I got a girlfriend yet? What else do I need to do lads?

>>78025358
i know you're just pasting this in but i cannot fathom the idea that someone once got so mad about being fat that they took the time to type all that bollocks out

Aiden filmed all his GOT scenes fully cognisant of the CIA memes

let that sink in

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>>78025376
elaborate pls

>>78025466
why?

>>78025476
>no personality
>no looks

Buying a laptop lads.

Grade A 1366x768
or
Grade B 1600x900

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the irish express

http://vocaroo.com/i/s19PdDgSxKxS

>>78023440
>>78023476
Anon with hyper sensitive willy here. Tricks I've used with the gf include having a wank just before sex and extending foreplay until I'm semi hard again and going from there. Other protips include be drunk. AND if blowjobs can't make you cum let her suck your cock for about 5-10 mins - this somehow reduces the sensitivity in your willy, making penetration less likely to make you cum so early.
Anon with hyper sensitive willy here. Tricks I've used with the gf include having a wank just before sex and extending foreplay until I'm semi hard again and going from there. Other protips include be drunk. AND if blowjobs can't make you cum let her suck your cock for about 5-10 mins - this somehow reduces the sensitivity in your willy, thus making you less likely to orgasm during penetration.

Best of luck.

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>>78025404
post a bradders

hi im troy mcClure

you might remember me from such self-help videos as 'smoke yourself thin' and 'get confident, stupid'.

>>78025502
1366x768 should be outlawed and any person who willingly selects it gets executed on the spot without a trial

>>78025467
why does tim love terrorism so much

>>78025502
both extremely runty resolutions

britain is rubbish

>>78025493
Got some laundry that needs doing

The recent Despacito craze has really made me wish I knew how to dance. Girls all love that song.

>>78025503
bit of a drive ahead of them

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>>78025385
While reading some high-class french literature, no doubt.

>>78025503
obvious shop

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>>78025487

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>>78025524
he heard of he high elves

shakespeare was black and if you disagree you're a racist

>>78025503

*gets on*

waheyyyy time for an anime gf

>>78025502
>16:9 for a computer, especially a laptop
blleeeeeeghhhh

>>78025502
1080p is a bare minimum for laptops these days

>>78025541
youre autistic as hell

>>78025404
a fake green card

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>>78025577
And you know this because you read a french book on psychology?

>>78025404
didn't think dubs were possible, or is that on another board?

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>>78025404

>>78025404
fake oxford health letter telling him he's about to get sectioned, signed by marcus hausen

JUST JUAN CORNETTO

GIVE IT TO MEEEE

Stormfags and /pol/fags (and now /brit/faggots always spouting white and based, supporting UKIP and wanting to deport Muslims. fuck you) are the best example of subhumans in human society today. You have stunningly low intelligence. You are all psychopaths and sociopaths. You are so susceptible to confirmation bias and delusion that when someone insults you as an individual for being mind-blowingly stupid, all you can think of is your epic jew memes and spout MUH GOY.

Rest assured that if 100% of you were not busy confined to a basement somewhere masturbating to cartoons, society would not tolerate your existence. Now get moving on dying in your 40s of heart disease you worthless sack of subhuman shit.

>>78025476
congratulations you are now doing the absolute bare minimum for living, here is your gf

>>78025404
just send him an anonymous letter asking him politely to turn the music down, under the guise of being one of his neighbours

PUBG is honestly a fucking boring game to watch and play, why is that shit so big rn

>>78025404
nothing you sadcase
leave the man in peace

top gear always was utter shite

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something happened

spent a hundo in a week :/

It's a sad reflection on our society that something as basic as drinking water is now a bottled, branded consumer product.

>>78025671
fuck off frog

>finns
http://i.4cdn.org/int/1502042075618.jpg
http://i.4cdn.org/int/1502041445299.jpg

honestly if i was neighbour to tim the inconsiderate cunt i'd be banging on that wall 24/7

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>>78025671
I'm sure there's some very mentally stimulating French literature on the concept of peace.

>>78025652
It's great if you have mates to play with
t. have mates

you also need to land in areas that you know other people are going to go

>>78025697
fuck off with your stupid bullying it isn't funny
you gain absolutely nothing doing this

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relatives are doing a visit

>American saying "utter shite"
desperate to fit in much? haha

Literally remember nothing from when i was between the ages of 17-18

which is weird because i remember everything from other ages. reckon something bad must have happened and i blocked it out.

>>78025733
>wah wah wah stop having fun in a way that I don't find fun

shut up you boring twat

>>78025741
is there no single photo in that years?

>>78025718
how on earth would you not get bullied for that?
also do Finns have conscription?

Good flats disappear from the market after 1 or 2 viewings, and this could be done in 6, 12 or 24 hours. Negotiable price flats stay in the market for a week or so. So if you see a flat in the market for more than a week, I'm confident you can negotiate a lower the price easily. And crappy quality-price flats, stay in the market for months.
I've rented in London for four times, and if the flat is good, and the price is good, go for the holding fee if you really want the flat. I lost a flat once because I took 3 hours to pay the holding fee and a couple was faster. So if I really want a flat, 1 hour to check numbers and stuff and then I pay whatever is needed to take it from the market. Renting in London is crazy.

>>78025643
not sure why you're posting this here

>>78023440
>have had sex with 11 different women and never made one cum

ask them. i literally tell them i want them to cum, what works best, and then they tell you what to do. and they enjoy it more than if you're just guessing, it's like you're working together

>>78025781
>also do Finns have conscription?
yes

>>78025764
bullying a 60 years old severely mentally ill man isnt funny though and deep down you dont find it funny either you just do it to get the frustration out
dont know where your parents are but they did a shit job at raising you

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>>78025733
The mental gains from reading French literature, on the other hand, are immeasurable.

>>78025764
nah it's you who needs to fuck off, underage little cunt

>>78025671
never said it had to be something nasty

>>78025777
don't think so.

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>>78025736
yea

>>78025728
I'd be banging his fucking head against it

>>78025614
wish a large carnivore would smash its way into my living room rn and eat me 2bh but we exterminated them long ago (assuming there even ever were bears here .. genuinely don't know)

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We need to bring back Ed Milliband memes. Post your favs.

http://i.4cdn.org/int/1502047556886.webm

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really like pink feetos

The Englishman is a rabid nationalist. They are perhaps the most nationalist people in the world…you sometimes want them almost to lose (the war) to show them how things are. They have the greatest contempt for the continent…To lose their empire would be the worst possible humiliation.

it's not hard to make a woman cum, you just have to give her bit of the ol' 'lingus

triangles are my favourite shape

>>78025874
aer?

>>78025850
pretty hardcore

>>78025850
awful

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>>78025815
And you would know all about parenting because you read some French literature about it.

>>78025818
>>78025815
hey I'm not the one sending tim stuff
I just find it amusing
I'd feel bad if i were to send tim stuff myself
but since someone else is funny I'm just going to giggle

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>>78025833

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>>78025881

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1axUThMAEGY

>>78025874
>'lingus
only fanny I've licked tasted fucking vile
don't really want to do it again

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seriously need to get pegged by cara

went to the store and bought a mango but i dont know if its ripe?? how do i know

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>21 earn 17000 a year

I'm thinking of taking an AAT course and maybe trying to get into accounting or opening up my own accountancy. Any advice? Feel like I should at least try and learn some skills to better myself and potential future family.

>>78025927
FOY

Business idea; change the name of Aberdeen to Aberdeano

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>>78025579
mean
>>78025634
very mean

>>78025940
eat it

>>78025940
how squishy is it?

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>>78025881
someone edit cia in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRZlHb2sXS8
currently watching

>>78025958
good post

>>78025983
dire

Anybody who disrespects David Icke is an enemy of Britain and is most certainly not are lad.

>>78025982
hahahaha that'd be really fucking hilarious if someone did that! hahaha imagine cia in that picture... all random like! hahahaha wow +1 FOR THIS

just remembered something i was going to post earlier

went to the barbers today. everything was really deano.

sorry but why is it that barbers have pictures of muhammad ali and al pacino starring as scarface all over them?

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I think I scared away the Frenchman. Did I do good?

Remember how ed Milibands career got destroyed by him eating a bacon sandwich funny haha
Simpler times

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anime

>Capitalism is great!

*moves factory overseas to the third world costing hundreds of jobs*

theres no canada like french canada its the best canada in the land
and the other canada is a bullshit canada
if you lived here for a day you'd understand

don't think I've ever seen a canadian make a worthwhile post in this general in my entire life

>>78025927
spot on, except I don't sound like some British poof haha

can't trust a man who doesn't understand its and it's

>>78026024
surprised he got that rattled Tbh

quite fancy shagging a fit girl

am an ugly virgin though

Communism is great!

*voted remain*

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Thinking about offering a 16 year old girl i know £500 for a good hard shag. What do you think? Is it even legal? I can easily afford it and would actually go up to £1000 as it would be something to remember for life, she's stunning. She does like money, reckon it's 50-50 she would go for it/refuse and tell her Dad or the police.

>>78025983
i wont watch but laurie penny is in the preview pic and i love her

dont care

Why is every pop song about love? Is it all people think about?

>>78026099
prostitutes have to be 18

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>>78026015
get this hothead outta here

>>78026083
i too once was an ugly virgin
when i had sex I thought it went really quickly and would have preferred putting it off a few weeks to get to know the girl a bit more

>>78026109
Yeah

>>78026099
grim

>>78026099
nonce

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>>78026108
You care about books though. French books.

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BLEACHED
L
E
A
C
H
E
D

>>78026109
yea kind of

had another lads willy in my mouth this weekend

>>78026099
like 99.999999% sure you have to be 18 or over to be a prostitute
what you're planning on doing is soliciting sex

>>78026099
honestly no words
fucking neck yourself

>>78026126
Did it change your life drastically?

>>78026159
Did you ask him what it was doing there?

>>78026159
hope you took it out immediately

>>78026166
Thought prostitution was illegal at any age in Bongistan?

>>78026178
no
still not confident around girls at all
i suppose one change was that I went out more at uni because I lived at home during first and second year, and she let me stay over her house

>>78025941
You're doing OK and are on the right path wanting to better yourself.
Try being me:

>26
>15.5k
>live on my own with rent + car to pay for
>cost of everything going up with Brexit soon
>no family, friends or support network
>I'm on out-of-the-blue expense from being homeless

already tried to end my life on multiple occasions

Just realized that coal is just really dry wood

my smug spongebob folder has increased 10 fold from this canadian

>>78026222
nope is legal
however, brothels and curb crawling are illegal

>>78026099
'ce

>>78026226
brexit will make everything cheaper

jesus fucking christ women hate each other so much

they have this fake passive-aggressive kindness when they're not fighting too

>>78026256
lol

>>78026241
I'm actually just making them as I go based on the original image. Glad you like them!

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>>78026100

;__; why did she have to get corrupted by leftism?

>>78026256
Hahaha

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how big is your bane folder lads

>>78026099
it's not legal at all
it's really not worth the risk at all
I don't care how much of a stunner she is and how much money you have, you'll get thrown in prison for years if someone found out or she told the police

>>78026303
0 because I'm not fucking reddit cancer

only get emotionally involved in things when it involves dogs

>>78026060
>poof

can't even imagine you saying 'poof' with your gimpy American accent

if you ever had the stones to breathe that within a thirty mile radius of me I would not only screech with laughter but I'd take a 4 ft drillbit, string you up by a tree and drill through your kneecaps into your lungs so that you drowned in your own blood here's an idea, buy a grade 2 listed 19th century property, sit in the cellar every day and slowly develop cancer from the asbestos you absolute capri-sun

>>78026303
>he has a bane folder
Sad!

>>78026338
furry

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>>78026150

Kind of hot tbqh

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>>78026303
I've had it for far longer. It's only saying that because its backed up to onedrive and I'm posting on a computer I didn't create it on

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Love feet
Simple as

>>78026303
hes such a qt

>>78026226
That's shit mate./

24 here and on 15k but live with my mum so really comfortable. Just saving everything though desu, hope I get a pay rise but planning on only doing this job for a year to get experience then going somewhere else.

Open season on communists, no bag limit.

>>78026376
fuck off alf'

> Brutus, or Brute of Troy, is a legendary descendant of the Trojan hero Aeneas, known in medieval British history as the eponymous founder and first king of Britain.

>>78026390
Same as me la but I'm 26

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>>78026376
that's a big folder

>>78026226
just save up some money anon

>>78026370
alright so multi billionaires have as much as some african tribes lol who cares
also make another one with just putin but he has as much as all the western billionaires put together

>>78026370
Stop giving them your money then

just imagine for a moment the limp wristed little underage runt posting in this thread called "Alfie"

fucking hell it really tosses your salad doesn't it

>>78026370
>old white men

*rolls eyes*

>>78025850
whereabouts in france is this?

>>78026422

So Britain is Italian.

>>78026422
>Britain founded by a Brute

Aha yes the ol poetry

>>78026377
You should talk to the Footkraut in /cum/. You guys would get along swimmingly.

>>78026455
>>old white men
I see about 2 whites, 3 jews, and 2 mexicans

>>78026422
It's ahistorical and only legend. Britain has had kings and chieftains since the Neolithic.

>renting

literally WHY

what is dire in american?

>>78026370
Where are the Rothschild?

>>78026503
Because you can't mortgage in London

>>78026507
it doesnt matter

>>78026503
haha yeah I knoowww right why don't people just BUY properties haha *smacks myself on the head* WOOWW sooo stupid haha you and me lad we've got it sorted, we've got it all worked out

>buying at the top of the market

Literally WHY

sister just told me she's going to visit auschwitz
wtf

>>78026503
>dude just work hard and save up

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>>78026508
Off reading some fine French literature as per your recommendation

south park

>>78026503
i rent because A. a property is unaffordable to buy in london and that is where my job happens to be

B. because im planning on moving around a lot so theres no point in buying a property whilst im still footloose. - unless in a speculative/landlord sense of the word and im looking for properties like this but im also looking at different investment options.

>>78026503
flexibility simple as

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feet tho

>>78025931
>only fanny I've licked tasted fucking vile
Probably a sign that you two were not meant to be

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>She added that "everyone in Syria is on the bad side. The [Bashar al-] Assad government has perpetrated horrible crimes against humanity and used chemical weapons. And the opposition is now made up of extremists and terrorists".

>>78026589
Literal neurological condition

Tina Fey honestly fit as fuck

not sure whether I rank footfreaks below anime watchers or one step above

really is hard to rank them when you get to the very bottom of the runt barrel

>>78026589
She's been wearing shoes that are too small. Look how pressed together her toes are.

PICKLE RIIIIIIIIIIIICK

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hmmm
thought-provoking captcha

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>>78026612
what about train and planeposters?

Haven't seen the janny for a while

>>78026612
I pity them, their internal brain wiring is messed up. Anime nonces do it by choice though so there's literally no excuse.

>>78026495

Fuck off, Amerifat. You are fat, ugly and idiot.

the luckiest guy on earth is probably kim jong un

>>78026652
train posters are good solid autistic lads

bottom lip is bleeding

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F E E T
E
E
T

just gave my french bf a very rough kiss

is it warm in southern Europe all the time as I'm lead to believe?

seen several documentaries recently from Athens about austerity, Naples about mafia crime, and Istanbul about muslim terrorism and in all cases there was snow on the streets

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it's RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

>>78026685
*kisses you and licks the blood*

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>is that the flat earther you mentioned earlier?
what a weirdo.

Post Maisies feet

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tube kot

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>>78026685
Is it a paper cut from passionately kissing your French literature?

>>78026666
Neck yourself Manuel.

>>78026715
english weather?

>>78026729
it's a train station tho

>>78026718
i don't think girls even know the term flat earther
it's not something normies have to deal with

>my job is in london so I have to rent

uhhh, just move up north? problem solved dummy

in b4 >b-but I-I'm super important so I can only work in london

get FUCKED you special snowflake

>>78026723

I'm crying.

>>78026713
obviously the answer is no then you thick cunt

the leaf has been going at it for quite a while now

>feet poster posting absolutely atrocious feet
get a hold of yourself

Would rather rent a box in London than own a place in some parochial Northern runt town

>>78025569
>16:9 for a computer, especially a laptop

>You can literally only buy 16:9 these days.

My netbook is 1024 pixels across

And fucking 600 high. 600 is barely enough to do anything. If they just made it 800 or 900 or something it'd be great but no, MUH WIDESCREEN

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>>78026729
>tfw girls like cats more than they'll ever like me

Howling
>IRPGF removed from Raqqa offensive.

>Probably because they were more worried about photo shoots showing how gay and anarchist they were than they were actually fighting. The tweet saying less empty propaganda and more fighting seems to confirm that theory.
>They are give anarchist/leftist Western volunteers a bad image with all their loudness/constant media stunts. Vast majority of foreign volunteers KIA are not from IRPG, they hog attention.

>>78026795
*throws acid in your face*

>>78026795
why?

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>>78026682
good lad

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>aussie feet

>London
If I were English I'd want to like somewhere smaller but big enough to have everything. Somewhere like Derby, Leeds, Ipswich, Suffolk, etc.

POO BUM WILLIES

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>>78026805

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>>78026788
I'll stop when you show me some not-terrible French literature.

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don't think my pizza is ever going to arrive

quivering with excitement
nearly 4 months of pickle rick posting comes to a head today

anyone know her twitter
https://www.instagram.com/xkingcastrox/
one of aisha's friends i think

>>78026823
Because the UK is just fucking dire. London is the closest thing that resembles a pleasant, civilised place to live

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>>78026826
good lad

>>78026762
>I-I'm super important so I can only work in london
not about me, its about my CV.

>>78026801
glorious macbooks are 16:10

love pints
love the north
love trainposters
hate feetposters
hate London box runts

nothing personal, just hate em

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>>78026864
good lad

whatever happened to shrimp-posting lad?

>>78026852
go read Les Misérables then come back

>>78026222
>seriously need to get pegged by cara
Yeah but it will probably go into soliciting a minor if shes under 18

post commie slags with good jaws

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>>78026859

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lot of bad memories came flooding back today

>>78026852
Journey to the end of the night i guess

>>78026899
BIG kot

>>78026876
brilliant post on multiple intersecting levels

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>>78026612
What about anime train posters?

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>>78026899
iktf

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inflatable_rat

>>78026902
very satisfying to watch, not in any sort of sexual way whatsoever haha

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in 12 hours work

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Ah yes leftists

*looking over candidates CV*
*see he's worked in london*
*gaze up at CV to his acid-seared face*

>don't call us, we'll call you

Want an older, stern but kind German blonde right wing gf with green or blue eyes

>>78026906
me too lad

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>>78026916

>>78026876
>tfw hans is more british than a londoner is

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>>78026891
>Les Miserables
Ah yes, pic related, the first of a volume of 20.

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>>78026947

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>>78026891
>>78026910
Hmm, you have appeased my anger for now. Farewell, Frenchmen.

>>78025375
terrific post, shall be skipping the rest

>>78026944
hmm quite genuine, this account haha

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>>78026956
this but left wing

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truth, simple as

>>78026947
its not about working in london in itself.
its that all the important employers and jobs occur in london.

>>78026980
brainlet

>>78026999
>>78026999
>>78026999
>>78026999

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>>78026972

>>78026795
Yes lad. Boxes are the coziest

>>78027001
she is not a good looking girl, wew.

>>78027001
the fucking state of her

>>78026897
lel wut

>>78026859
Well actually lots of the countys keep their cute historical buildings and have really good natural beauty like cornwall and surrey