/brit/

Need a cute British woman to give me a blowie.

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3am Girls und Panzer masterrace

animé

jannys gonna go doopin mental

images.duckduckgo.com(2).png

extremely early
janitor will be upset

ffs i always post just after the new is made

virgin here
do women really leave their underwear behind as much as tv would have us believe

>>74945287
how do you change your life guys? how do you change your outlook i've consciously tried over 10 years now to be a more confident and happy person but i haven't acheived anything if anything the "real world" has made it even more difficult.

>>74947614
think you've buggered it up la

>>74947669
just gotta be yourself

>>74947669
unironically stop watching porn

>>74947614
I value my privacy, Imperial. Can you say the same?

>>74947638
What do you mean

>>74947669
you can't
either accept your miserable life or kys its the only way

>>74947669
Exist as what you are and nothing else

>>74947614
opened this and now i have wannacry wtf???

>>74947692
often a point of conflict in shows is a woman throwing a pair of panties at a guy and say they aren't hers so whose are they dun dun dun

trying to chug a pint before facetime with the gf so she doesn't see me drinking

belly is already overstuffed from lunch as well

>see the most stunning girl I've ever seen at this middle eastern restaurant I just went to for lunch
>pretty sure she was giving me looks the entire time I was there
>can't make a move because we'd probably both get murdered by her uncle because I'm a filthy kaffir

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stop touching green boxes

>>74947766
>being scared of a few paki manlets with kebab knives
bint

need to go to dentist but don't want a lecture with metal tools in my mouth

>>74947808
Pay Vinay a visit and have a chat about Tim instead

starting to get annoyed with my 2bh

not bad looking but I seem to have a face that attracts sympathy, and everyone tries to stop me doing stupid shit

could really go for an entire bucket of chicken

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*initiating shart sequence*
*aligning phase-vector targeting*
*target acquired: mart*
*arming shartheads*
*launching....*
*impact in 3...2...1...*
*mart destroyed*
*mission accomplished*

>>74947830
bit expensive

>>74947750
Cant say ive ever heard of such a thing in real łîfé
Other items of clothing maybe
Dont imagine one would forget to put knickers on before leaving the house of a made man as opposed to a jacket, jumper, hairband etc
Unless she put it em in the laundry and changed

>>74947750
it doesnt happen often

>>74947881
in real life or in shows

>>74947683
don't like myself

>>74947691
rarely watch porn

>>74947699
yeh this is how I feel don't have balls to kill myself although as each day passes I wonder why I don't

>>74947705
the difference beteen who i want to be and what i am is too great

>>74947896
in real life, theyd be more likely to leave a hairband or something behind

Europeans aren't bow-legged enough. How do they walk into town making it clear that they're the baddest hombre this side of the Rip Grande?

honestly no idea what the gf sees in me

might just break up with her now so she doesn't have to go through the process of working out she's in love with a sack of poo

I'm in love with a sack of poo

>>74947866
>>74947913
mm thats what i thought
why are jewish writers so weird

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matched a family friend on tinder
>feminist, leftie, literature lover
>don't even glance in my direction if you're a fucking tory

TRILLING at runts who dont use legacy captcha

>tfw literally a sack of shit and bacteria

>>74947766
just go for it la, learn from my mistakes
>lebanese girl at school
>unironically gorgeous, skinny but BIG CHEBS
>get on with her really well, she would always touch her hair and laugh uncontrollably around me
>think about asking her to leavers
>"nah she's muslim so she can't, just leave her" - the so called lads
>we both go alone
>saw her in town a few weeks ago, not seen her in about 5 years
>holding hands with a white guy, cross necklace on
still seething desu

>>74947957
they're not, it's just runts would arch up because an actual piece of clothing left behind would be far more sutble and it's gotta be obvious.

>>74947957
Its just dramatic shorthand for "evidence of adultery"
Its more dramatic finding undies than ovies cos of the sexual connotations or else itd be "omg this is ellies coat have you been fucking her" and he could easily say "no i just took it home to sniff" and the crisis woild be averted

>>74947945
good plan

>>74948002
lebs are a legit bunch tbqh

you deserve to kick yourself forever over that

WISH i had a lebanese gf
would literally move to beirut for the chance

More like beirunt

>>74947962
FOT

Do you lads keep a nice piece of pipe around in case of migrants breaking in? Everyone I know has a weapon around their home in case they need it, even if there's never been any violent crime where they live.

everything is just particles

>>74948114
haha

>>74948002
wannabe paki

doin a big cum

>>74947945
how pathetic can you get?

Quite eerie without Tim posting videos. Quite concerned about how his meeting will go.

>>74948123
I have my fists on my at all times

>>74948116
not a tory but it's still a grim bio

instilling doubt into the minds of /biz/ cryptocurrency traders :^) may have found myself a new hobby.

Never been in a fight but I think some runt wants to knock me out because I accidently brushed against his girlfriend one night and now he keeps eyeing me

Give me some pointers for the inevitable fight

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supposed to be 90 out today

think i'll stay inside like i always do

might even turn the ac on

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the gf just faxed me this

>>74948150
actual paki

>>74948123
Dads had a painted baseball bat in his room since before i was born
I have a spear shaft and a carbon fibre sword waster

>>74948129
poo particles really

>>74948172
Punch him in the throat

>>74948044
wtf? that excuse makes way more sense if it was in fact her undies

>>74948158
how pathetic can YOU get? fucking vermin

>>74948173
I got a high of 67 for today

>>74948162
whats cracking with tim

been stuck cheeseless in italy for a bit so am out of the loop

>>74948191
Coat sniffing is harmless fun
Knicker theft is perverse not to mention impossible
I'm watching you sonny

>>74948172
Fuck his gf beforehand. If he must punch you, might as well be for a good reason

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>>74945406
Watched GuP for the first time this weekend. Great show. Yukari > Momo > Dajeerling > *

>>74948239
Very good point my French ally

>>74948172
kick his girlfriend's ass

>>74948228
He's got his meeting with Oxford health today.

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i come to /brit/ to pretend i'm part of high-society

>>74948178
she into trannies then?

>>74948228
>>74948258
Also a lot of people messing with him at the same time.

>>74948276
this another incident of /brit/ going too far and sending a picture of pakiboo and dhl and vinay to him?

>>74947905
Even the normiest live on validation.

You need to socialize with kind people

>>74945287
Sombre Dimanche/Gloomy Sunday
Don't listen this!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4RimLetPHA

what happens if tim doesn't attend the consultation with the psychiatrist?

>>74948228
Neighbour is texting him asking to stop playing piano at 11pm (hes not happy)
Marcus Hausen keeps threatening him online
Keeps getting stuff in post from /brit/

>>74948317
might get sectioned i suppose

>>74948271
I come to /brit/ to roleplay a normal, social life. I come to /brit/ to pretend like I don't actually have all my insecurities, anxieties and panic attacks. I come here because I use /brit/ as surrogate social interactivity

just received 60 euros of cheese from my contact on the dark web lads

>>74948271
I come here because I'm a huge Britboo

Wish I had a deep voice

>>74948317
They'll escalate his case. They will anyway when he gets there and they see the decline. >>74948328

just emptied the dishwasher

>>74948338
fuck off

>>74948328
And laundrey being thrown at his window.

new Tommy
https://youtu.be/nNpNCQQLEJM

>>74948359
When your skin is black is voice really your priority?

>>74948328
>Marcus Hausen
really? 10/10 top keks

how'd /brit/ find his addy? did he start posting it like before?

>>74948367
sorry

>>74948328
>Keeps getting stuff in post from /brit/

what did he get now? something since buzz?

>>74948338
Neck yourself.

>>74948383
True. It's a tertiary concern

I come to /brit/ because the masses wouldnt get most of my jokes

>>74948367
*farts*
*laughs*

>>74948173
>>74948216
those numbers don't make sense

jabberwocky

penis is ROCK solid and there's NOTHIGN i can do about it

>>74948383
bit rude

https://youtu.be/woTjrHp00K0

Howling

>>74948396
Dunno

>>74948386
Dunno

>>74948328
>Neighbour is texting him asking to stop playing piano at 11pm (hes not happy)
this is why you get a electric one so you can just use headphones

>>74948444
Honestly I agree in hindsight. Ethiopian poster usually makes good posts

I'm sorry

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>>74948386
>How could anyone possibly know my address other than DPD and Oxford health?
*immediately points to the window*
>And there we have Amersham Hill leading down to High Wycombe.

>>74948459
ROARING

>>74948196
not as pathetic as you, apparently, and believe me I've tried

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Girls und Panzer is a shit show.
Cutesy anime is fucking shite
The tanks in it are fucking shite
Absolute manchildren the lot of you who enjoy it

want a girl to give me a ruined orgasm and laugh as I helplessly cum

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ya mon, I'm smoken da herb
ya got eh proeblem mon?

one of my teeth has a sharp edge and my tongue keeps rubbing it
very annoying

>>74948481
No problem. Glass is full of whiskey so bygones are always bygones

dont mess with me sunshine

spilt kitty's litter box
real CAT ASS tro phe
*thumbs up and open mouth smile*

want to start my own car company

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>>74948495
>he doesn't like fun
Sad.

>>74948512
might wanna get that fixed la, dont want tongue cancer xx

why does tim care so much about date checks

just been messed with

>>74948426
It's Fahrenheit

>>74948512
One? Think you're supposed to have a few of those

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>>74948510
Don't mind my retarded nephew

any you lads ever play army back in school?

would always bolt with my mate James down to a good concrete position and ambush the other lads as they come down from lunch

frankly i was the best army player of the lot

>>74948512
put some gum on it

I bet if I flew to Ghana
I'd be a Goner
;)

Want a 1960's cockney gf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A2wa9yeAKk

Business idea: wwii propaganda where you choose who it's demonising
I.e. tories, yanks, pakis, Janitor

>>74948558
not this sharp
>>74948548
don't see how that would cause tongue cancer

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>why yes i, an australian, DO use british slang

>>74948482
best webm ever 2bh

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>mfw I have several roundish scars on my torso from when I had tubes jammed into my lungs to pump out pus as a kid (tl;dr: really awful pneumonia complications)
>mfw I tell girls they're gunshot wounds and they believe me
>mfw they ask if they can touch them

Happened last night at the gym again.

I imagine real gunshot wounds look nasty tbqh.

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>>74948495

do UK universities have compulsory attendance? I've heard you can basically just not show up all year at a lot of them and still pass as long as you pass assessment.

Dog tried to steal my socks

>Witcher series on Netflix confirmed!
guess i should get the games so i know whats going on

>>74948312
I do socialise although don't have active social life. Can see friend maybe once every 2 weeks or other week can maybe have 2-3 social events. It's difficult because people are unpredictable and sometimes even friends or strangers will say hurtful things.

Ahh yes, it's another episode of the sister picking up the sleeping cat and moving him into her room for no other reason than satisfying that selfish personality of hers.

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>>74948617
you mean like this?

>>74948625
runt unis record attendance

proper ones don't

I feel really sorry for the younger generation of lads. Girls these days just don't know how to fuck properly anymore.

>>74948625
you have to go to lectures in yankland?

do any /brit/ lads live in london? what's it like?

>>74948630
there's this bloke Gerald and he shags lots of birds

>>74948651
ye

s'alri

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>>74948546
Planes > Tanks

>>74948594
more and more evidence is linking chronic dental trauma, and the chronic inflammation it generates with cancer in the area in later life

xx

We've discovered that junk DNA is actually quite useful and that there is a real use for it

If only they could figure out the mystery behind that "junk food" huh?

>>74948639
stop projecting the cat doesn't care

>>74948639
Plot twist: the cat has moved into my room.

I could heem the lot of you tbqh.

>>74948651
lived in tower hamlets and its a fucking shit hole
hope that whole place burns to the ground

>>74948630
Read the books first.

>>74948638
Socializing is a full time job. Managing plans and dealing with fickle people is part of maintaining healthy brain chemistry.

>>74947776
OOBAJOB

>>74948642
Nah, mine are nipple sized and mostly on the sides (except a smaller one on the front), plus they are neat and self-contained without any obvious connection/pattern between them.

Unless you mean that's what I expect nasty gunshot wounds to look like in which case it doesn't look that bad IMO.

>>74948682
i don't have any inflammation

>>74948690
How would you like it if someone woke you up every day because you chose not to sleep in their room? Find it hard to imagine you wouldn't care.

I'm at least clever if anything

>>74948709
>wasting your time on idiots is healthy
looks like you're either an idiot or you've been kiked, stay woke nigger

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Hey brits is this true? Not happy if so

gf is prattling away on skype and I literally just don't care

not even listening to a word she says

do I even like this woman anymore? hmmm

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>>74948734
cat NEVER EVER sleeps in my room

>>74948734
but im a human. cats sleep 22 hours of the day and it takes them like 5 seconds to get comfortable

>>74948757
Socializing has intrinsic value even with idiots. Serotonin an shit

>>74948732
chronic irritation can lead to inflammation. get it done or don't, just telling you what the goings on are.

say hey to your 'rents for me!
x

>>74948759
Yes and you should be grateful.

>>74948780
Maybe you should try keeping LASAGNA under the bed
:)

>>74948703
>books
fuck off nerd

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too hot lads

>>74948729
Oh shit, I came out with diaphragmatic hernia and had to have breathing tubes in me for months when I was born. These are from that, I just tell chicks it's a shark bite but most either don't care or just run their fingers along it, which feels weird af desu

Returning to shitter to shit

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>>books
>fuck off nerd

>>74948807
Me paying more tax than you has nothing to do with the Tories, I would never post such illogical nonsense. I pay more tax than you because I am of more value than you are.

>>74948827
never reply to me again

>girl has over 2000 ig posts
>they're almost all selfies

>>74948767
update: said I have to be somewhere and just hung up on her

thanks for reading

>>74948841
it's mild today
was bad yesterday

>>74948849
is it any surprise that the Queen's Land is the best land?

>>74948780
Maybe you need to just lock it in your room

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>>74948702
>>74948674
how do you live in a city

do you walk about daily to get your food and supplies? do you ever lead your little area within the city?

is it expensive to live there? does the power go out often? does it smell bad? are you scared of criminals?

>>74948858
Sounds like someone doesn't own a convection oven

>>74948892
>do you ever lead your little area within the city?
leave*

>>74948857
what are you on about you numpty

>>74948876
It's no surprise that the Queen's Land is a sweltering shit hole

Just got off ban lads.

>>74948881
zonce

There will be a race war


NOT

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gaymers BTFO lmao

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>>74948892
i lead the whole city

>>74948790
> cats sleep 22 hours of the day
Maybe indoor cats, the outdoor cat sleeps for like 12 hours.
> and it takes them like 5 seconds to get comfortable
That's not a valid reason to wake your cat up from it's deep sleep and move it into a room they haven't chosen to sleep in. I doubt it takes them 5 seconds to get back into a deep sleep as well.

>>74948780
be happy, cat hair is impossible to get rid of

>>74948934
, now but a little later.

Just signed the contract lads, £1000pm for a 1bed flat. One third of my salary. Didn't expect Cambridge to be this pricey tbqh.

>>74948926
I pay more tax than you because I am of more value than you are.

>>74948935
ugly bint wouldnt swipe right on her anyway

>>74948935
>22

Cute girl but looks 30+

SCREECHING at the idea of men older than 16 playing video games

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what does it mean?
>8
Is this how the rest of the world does weather?
>For today we have highs of 25
lol

>>74948892
>is it expensive to live there? does the power go out often? does it smell bad? are you scared of criminals?

unironically all of this

>>74948990
stupid smelly yanks

>NOT, now but a little later.
>aussie education

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>>74948881
no
>>74948947
even worse
he sleeps on my clothes
he's got thick white fur that he drops all the time

>>74948604
ayo hol' up
http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1495022617385.webm

>>74948942
Cats sleeping brainwaves are different to humans. They're more 'awake' than use when they sleep, hence they need more of it, but they care way less about being woken up. Stop bitching about your stupid little problems and tell your sister to stop you limp wristed little poof. No sympathy for people who complain but don't actually do anything you're no better than a gossiping 14 year old girl.

>>74949021
Lock it in you melt it's a fucking cat

>>74948969
better be a nice fucking flat for that money

SCREECHING at the idea of men older than 16 going on 4chan

>>74948802
i don't want the serve about gum disease and losing my teeth though

>>74949030
I have told my sister to stop, she doesn't care because she's just as selfish as you.

>>74949024
heem'd

>>74948981
hello nigger

>sleeping with your cat
enjoy brain parasites

>>74949049
janny
>>74949035
fuck off you bellsniff
even if I did do that he'd just scratch the door and meow at me until i let him out
he's very stubborn

>>74948969
FOB

>>74949055
>wah wah my sister took the cat
>I, ME, AUSTRALIAN NEET LIVING WITH HIS PARENTS, I DESERVE THE CAT
fuck off you petty little runt

>>74949024
Hahahaha what the fuck

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My cats know I will punish them severely for sleeping outside a few designated spots.

Moved out recently and am losing weight because I cant afford to eat. Getting aesthetic

>>74949078
>>74949059
>>74949057
phenomenal posts
*returns to productive cubicle work*

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be nice to your cats

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The mandem

750mg of dulcolax up the shit chute

>>74949086
I don't care where the cat sleeps, as long as it's his decision. :^)

More often than not he doesn't sleep in my room, probably because he knows the bitch will just wake him up mid-sleep and move him into a completely different room.

>>74949062
my house isn't infested with rodents

>>74949050
dentist just files down and smooths the jagged aspect of the tooth afaik

>>74949117
It's in their shit. Most cat owners have it

>>74948564
never even heard of it me

>>74949024
bit of an overreaction

>>74948709
Sometimes I will be with someone and just get really bored and want to leave but also feel shit if not with anyone rip.

>>74949024
I can't think of a better webm

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>>74945287

>real depression hours

they are between normy bedtime to sunrise, dumb New Hollander.

>>74949131
from eating rodents

>>74949114
Imagine having so little going on in your life that these are your day to day problems. Mental.

>>74949149
Unless you have a house cat you have it

Do any of you seriously think there is any hope of Corbyn winning? If not, what is the point of his campaign and your support for it? What do you hope will happen next? Another left candidate? Surely the country has shown it will not elect far left leaders.

>>74949141
Might be a selfish lad.

Pretend that what they're saying is super interesting and maybe things will become interesting.

>>74949110
im starting to think you're just a homo and into white guys not white guys on black girls

>>74949180
He's not going to win

>>74949161
Imagine not caring about the well-being of a living animal you're supposed to look after. Mental.

>>74949038
It's pretty good tbqh, half of what I've seen had similar prices for mouldy pieces of shit. Led lighting, underfloor heating, and a shitty garden.

Will take a while to furnish this; I'm moving in over the weekend and I'm starting my new job in June. Any ideas on what to do/check out in Cambridge in the meantime?

>>74949078
>FOB
It's only £54k pa m8. And I will be thirty in 18 months.

Imagine liking feet

Finally got a ketamine dealer, how much should I take for my first time? Also is $250 a gram overpriced? Haven't bought it yet

>>74949119
don't think dentists are that small nor can fly

>>74949024
faje news

>>74949180
He has something like a 30% chance of winning.

asdf

>>74949229
wew

>>74949225
ive been waqiting 3 hours to tell you this is the dumbest post so far today

The rest of 4chan is down

>>74949219
>Also is $250 a gram overpriced?
yes

*cups hands together around mouth*

HELLO .. hello .. hello .. hello ..

some middle aged bloke on the bus just snapped at me and gave me a row for getting on the bus before the queue in the shelter, apparently I walked in front of people who had been waiting a while

this is the SECOND time this has happened. a Chav lady a couple weeks back did the same. both questioned me intimidatingly about my manners

really don't see the big deal, everyone gets on the bus anyway, why are people so passionate about queues?

waiting for tim's daily vlog

Opinions on pints, gents?

Why do people feel entitled to free education? As if we're going to be paying for peoples photography and social studies courses... Unbelievable!

???

19 hours since his last vlog lads

have they sectioned him?

>>74949215
http://www.gaypornshare.com/video/19353/antonio-palmer-s-shower-sex
I don't know, the ten second scene where he sucks his toe didn't kill my hard on so I don't know what that says about me

lol lads

i took a shower, did laundry, cleaned my place, mowed the lawn and cooked lunch(beef risoto) while the 'chon was down haha

haven't been this productive in a long time

ahahahahahahah a girl outside lost her key cars and her car was still open
was chilling there smoking a cig and she asked me if she saw anyone taking her keys they were on the top of her car according to her. didnt steal them myself because i had no reason to but hahahah thats it fuck cagers

does anybody know how to cancel a spanish bank account from the uk?

got the trackies on lads

>>74949312
>key cars

FUCK
WHITE
PEOPLE

>>74949294
https://twitter.com/TimmyUk/status/864861676071505920

What the fuck happened to 4chan lads?

>>74949333
yeah

>>74949294
it doesnt matter

waheyy all the lads are here again

Everything that's touching my body now is silk except my Rolex and pinky ring

milking my nigger

>>74949296
>woke up not long before it came back
well there goes my chance

>>74949342
car keys

>>74949345
>tim came back up the exact same time as 4chan

pottery

i FUCKING HATE hirouki lads

Boy am I glad to be back, wth happened?

playing spider solitare

nigg

goooooooooooook mooooooooooooooooooooooooot

HIIIIIROOOOOOOOOOO

hmm

fucking stupid gook moot twat

>>74949312
Why is America considered to have third-world levels of crime when every Europoor has endless stories of petty urban crime like this?
>my hotel room got emptied out in barcelona
>gypsies stole my wallet in italy
>was mugged in paris
>car was stolen in warsaw
This general crime level seems ubiquitous in the nice parts of Europe when virtually no white American ever experiences it. You act as if real crime wasn't sectioned off in a few areas rather than dispersed everywhere.

reminder that penile length and girth are proportionate to body size
moral of the story? manlets never learn

playing spider solitare lads

Was trying to post:
>Get excruciating fart bubbles in my gut every time I go back to work after a break or lunch. Infuriating.

But now I've got to update that with:
Got the shits lads

FUCK

>>74949345
Expecting a video soon then

>>74949361
same but I'm a girl

>>74949467
i'm a girl too! xx

*a single scream pierces the digital veil before fading back into formless oblivion*


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

i cant grow facial hair

fucking stupid american

Does anybody know whats going on?

alri

In burger king copping the so called bacon double cheese XL

Hope Tim's got something new to complain about.

im insecure because i cant grow facial hair

Tim is hacking 4chan servers

>>74949508
fat cunt

i doubt i would grow a beard if i could but the inability makes me feel like less of a man

*grabs a handful of chips and tries to fit as many in my mouth as possible while dropping half of them*

here's a good song from a Magnum Comfy game unrelated to the content of the rest of this post

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQcolipT0ZY

>>74949539
>beard
faggot
moustache is obviously the way to patriciandom

saw a gorgeous natural blonde girl at uni today, choker, pert boobs, leather jacket, green eyes, glowing skin, hnnnggg

>>74945293
>>74945293
>>74945293

>>74949590
>choker
disgusting

>>74949586
i cant grow either

Jeremy Clarkson said that if he was a girl he'd spend his afternoons playing with his breasts and I'd do the same desu

>>74949539
only grow a wee bit of light hair on my chin and above my top lip haha

who /estrogen/ here

>>74949415
petty urban crime isnt killing each other off with guns
>my hotel room got emptied out in barcelona
>gypsies stole my wallet in italy
>was mugged in paris
>car was stolen in warsaw
thats because youre a dumb fucking yank. simple as.

>>74949276
love them