/brit/

Describe the ideal woman in 3 words or less.

doing a poo

diarrhea

anny

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Danz

>>74399647
Fat

>>74399629

REAL NEW THREAD WITHOUT SHITTY YANK OP

>>74399634

>>74399647
has a vagina

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>>74399565
no

its hard to describe. pretty intense though.

if this image had a smell it would smell like it

>yank /brit/ and brit /brit/ posted 9 seconds apart
>yank /brit/ gets priority
ah yes

>6 /brit/s in the catalog
ARISE, THE UNPAID ONE

imagine being 18 years of age and not knowing fanny smell

>>74399713
the so-called e-gf can't message smells

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>ground shakes
>horses whinneying in the distance
>gunshots crack
>YEEEHAAAAAWWW

They're here lads

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rick and morty lads


fuck drumpf

last girls fanny smelled sweet and tasted sweet. idk what she was doing for the taste and smell but I wasn't complaining haha

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masters dissertation due in 36 hours lads

>>74399765
Good diet and lots of water

just seen rick and morty mentioned AGAIN
Who's funding this?

>>74399771
whats it about?

>>74399774
myself

>first draft of 100k word book due in 20 minutes
>haven't started

>>74399784
astrophysics
should probably be doing it rn

>>74399771
Good luck

your queen just died btw just to let you pakis know

last fanny I smelled smelled like pool water

>>74399773
in all honesty I don't think she does either, must have just gotten lucky

>>74399629
>>74399647
>>74399652
>>74399653
>>74399656
>>74399665
>>74399667
>>74399670
>>74399678
>>74399689
>>74399692
>>74399704
>>74399713
>>74399721
>>74399737
>>74399742
>>74399747
>>74399765
>>74399771
>>74399773
>>74399774
>>74399784
>>74399787
>>74399791
>>74399791
>>74399800
>>74399805
>>74399807

REAL THREAD

>>74399634

>>74399800
>Cutting it close

drunk fanny always smells like wee

>>74399818
sorry mate, not going to indulge your autism when you didn't indulge mine yesterday

>>74399818
nah, thanks for the (You) though

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Last fanny I smelled just smelled like sweat

>>74399807

IRA prick

>>74399818
sha'n't

>>74399818
>autism

>I don't like the starting post that I see for 10 seconds every thread so let me do autistic threadwars
*le sigh*

>>74399823
mostly done but dunno what to write for the conclusion desu
and still waiting on some results

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>>74399807
your potatoes died btw just to let you pakis know

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the gf's smells like a rancid armpit but I don't have the heart to do anything about it

>>74399875
my pseudo gf has a fucking mustache that she never shaves and it does my head in

always thinking about when i first lick minge, but slightly dreading it
girls' hair smells so nice why do they have to have stinky clunge? they could at least invent fanny perfume

>>74399647
young black brasilian
if only they weren't such fucking normies

>>74399865
Play We Are The Champions on guitar as a Brian May reference

>>74399870
blown out so hard they are still recovering, centuries later
incredible

>>74399882
mine has the tiniest bit of a mustache too haha

>>74399870
>graph_showing_annual_population_of_'Great'_Britain_post-Brexit.jpg

>>74399807
>>74399812
>>74399813
>>74399823
>>74399827
>>74399835
>>74399836
>>74399839
>>74399843
>>74399848
>>74399851
>>74399855
>>74399865
>>74399870
>>74399875
>>74399882
>>74399885
>>74399888
>>74399897
>>74399899
>>74399905

See >>74399818

stuck in turkish prison with my lesbian gf atm xx

tonguing fanny is pretty tolerable, the taste/smell isn't a big issue

the reason why is because you're meant to put your mouth on her clit/very top of her fanny, not tongue the midde of the slit where it's all smelly and tastes bad

yes, there will still be a stink even at the top, but it's a lot less bad

whatsapp is down

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>>74399935
I see you are a man of skill as well

>>74399938
piss off normie

prince phillip is down

fat white girls and black men in america have a complimentary relationship

Don't like anyone here

>>74399965
you mean phat ass white girls?

I drank at least 10-12 beers and got black out drunk every single night for 5 years then I stopped completely about 6 months ago and for about a week I hardly slept and was shaking and sweating and hallucinating things crawling up the walls but after that I recovered completely and these days I feel better than I ever have and only drink occasionally at weekends

>>74399935
i see blokes and lasses in porn just fucking going for it but it sounds like it'd be a lot easier to just go for the clit. Thanks for the tip

when did fanny start to mean vagina

>>74399922
based brexit sending the JFs back where they came from

Don't want to be friends with any of you

>>74399978
quit bud + smoking all together a week ago
and often i get FUCKING bored

>>74400000

>>74400006
Go back to your shitty thread autismo brit

>>74400014
oh and, it got to pretty much every day for the last 5 years too

>>74399981
you go for the clit but pay a bit of attention to the whole thing. the porn star thing is a bit embellished, the sloppy tongueing like they're eating half an orange isn't amazing

what's going on at buckingham palace lads

>>74400042
I just checked the green

Rorkes are the most pathetic people in the world. Name one socially competent rorke. They are all virgin, friendless, losers.

>>74400042
queen is dead

i've been asking about this for a few days now ever since i read it in the paper that she's dying and no one would believe me.

>>74400035
interchanging between fingering and licking helps

also i've found that when your tongue gets tired, just rubbing and mashing your lips and mouth against the clit will also work

has phil the greek actually popped his clogs?

https://twitter.com/Breaking911/status/859955746917756929

https://twitter.com/DailyMailUK/status/859940603668307968

>>74400014
Talking to someone who was an alcoholic about weed "problems" is like talking to someone from Syria about how bad those kids who scratched your car are

my dad invented pokemon but nintendo stole his idea

uncle works for nintendo

>>74400055
gary busey

>>74400061
you must feel really special

>>74400035
whole thing? what about the urethra, do you try to avoid that? Surely there's a load of piss in it

>>74400081
i thought we were sharing, not trying to out-do one another on how pathetic we are
but go ahead mate you win

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will be utterly delighted if i wake up tomorrow to hear phillip is gone

https://twitter.com/MafyuMorgan/status/859934648650125312

>>74400118
why? the rest of them are still there

>>74400118
who?

I will destroy all of you

>>74400133
small steps

why is the american president always heavily involved in israeli-palestine talks?

think those desert people should handle their own shite desu

>>74400129
>Just woke up
>5:56pm

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"Still throwing spears?" (Question put to an Australian Aborigine during a visit in March 2002)
"If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" (in 1996, amid calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting)
"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?" (Speaking to a driving instructor in Oban, Scotland)
"It looks as if it was put in by an Indian." (in 1999, referring to an old-fashioned fuse box in a factory near Edinburgh)
"You are a woman, aren't you?" (in 1984, in Kenya, to a native woman who had presented him with a small gift)
"You can't have been here that long - you haven't got a pot belly." (in 1993, to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary)
"Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" (in 1994, to an islander in the Cayman Islands)
"You managed not to get eaten, then?" (in 1998, to a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea)
"If it has got four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." (at a 1986 World Wildlife Fund meeting)
"Brazilians live there” (On key problems facing Brazil)
"Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?" (Sharing a joke with a blind, wheelchair-bound girl with a guide-dog)
"In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation."
'Ever been on a plane before? It was just like that.' (To the leader of Paraguay when asked how his flight was)
'Deaf? I'm not surprised with that bloody racket!' (To a class of deaf children sat next to a brass band)
'Do you have a licence for that?' (To a man in a motorized wheelchair)
'If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.' (To British students in China during Royal visit there in 1986.)

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>>74400129
i freaked out for a second because i'm literally directly related to this guy, thought i was getting doxxed for a second

So the Queen's dead. That's interesting.

>>74400147
can't beat nepotists by waiting for them to die mate

>>74400112
mate in all honesty im in such a primitive state that i don't even think about it ay. best way I can describe it is like an upside down triangle where you narrow your focus over time. I'll start all over and heavy breathe on it for a couple of seconds to build anticipation then go for it then after like 30 seconds of all of it, I'll focus on the clit.

>>74400161
It's not really

>>74400161
fake news

>>74400157
>'Ever been on a plane before? It was just like that.' (To the leader of Paraguay when asked how his flight was)
chuckled

>>74400175
yeah alright cheers mate, i can sort of see that the primal thing does the work but it's good to see those tips, ta

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>>74400159
>>74400129
>UWE bristol

katie hopkins is a milf

is it happening

>>74400129
His face looked much better skinny and gaunt lol

>>74400152
optimal fanny
the anti-roastie

i want queen lizzy to cuck me with big black guys

Bet one of the Corgis died

hello
living a rabbit hutch people

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Dieu protège le roi

what time is it lads?

>VANDENBERG AIR FORCE BASE, Calif. -- An unarmed missile capable of sending a nuclear bomb across the world was launched Wednesday from a coastal California military base amid rising tensions between the U.S. and North Korea.

>The unarmed Minuteman 3 intercontinental ballistic missile blasted off from a silo at 12:02 a.m. from Vandenberg Air Force Base and delivered a single re-entry vehicle to a target about 4,200 miles away at Kwajalein Atoll in the Pacific Ocean, the Air Force Global Strike Command said.

>The test took 10 months to plan. It was the latest aimed at checking the readiness and accuracy of a weapon system that forms part of the U.S. nuclear force. The U.S. has about 450 of the missiles. Each can travel about 8,000 miles

world war three inbound laddos

>>74400255
time you got a watch haha

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should be sleeping or writing the diss' iah

>>74400213
the primitive thing makes you end up looking like you're eating half an orange. you have to control it a bit and use some restraint to focus on the clit.

best advice I've ever been given is to end up on the clit and spell out the letters of the alphabet on it

Just had a Eureka moment with my coursework

wew

ama (not doxxable)

>>74400233
>muh squinty yellow snatch

>>74400265
Yeah I've heard the ol 'phabet trick, I'll be trying that out when the time comes (any day now)

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>>74400255
it's chico time

>>74400271

QUICKDRAW JANNY

>>74400215
Did you photoshop this image?

fucking a grapefruit lads

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>>74400293
never

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idk what 90% of this shit is

>>74400271
saved, cheers

>>74400283
good luck lad

Tomorrow is the day lads. I'm going to fucking do it.

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is it just us mortals that aren't allowed to say we're janny or can janny not do it either?
asking for a friend

>>74400314
ta m8

>>74400313
*punches you in the dick*

just asked the puerto rican qt if she's from puerto rico or if she's just ethnically puerto rican. cringing at myself now for some reason, how bad was that?

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post your battle stations lads

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>>74400331

anyone remember the pint glass meme

>>74400292
not giving him the chance

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>>74400249
Dieu sauve notre roi

Longs jours à notre roi !

Vive le roi !

Qu'un règne glorieux,

Longe et victorieux

Rend son peuple heureux !

Dieu sauve le roi !

>>74400313
>how to alienate your customers

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>>74400129
wew i knew this guy irl
>>74400159
what the fuck is going on, who are you

>>74400336
come on
muricafat

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>>74400342

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>>74400350
>piercing
>tattoo

>>74400350
front bum slit > roastie ham sandwich

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>>74400359
>UWE

>>74400359
just a gimmick i'm trying out lad

>>74400342
imagine actually being this person

>>74400373
women arent objects and they don't exist for your pleasure you beta cuck

Im not sure but I think i am falling for the meme female british accent is very hot

can you brits cure me out of this?

>>74400342
absolute state of this lad

>>74400342
Imagine bringing a girl over and having her see thi- nvm

>>74400377
do they still have your same degree of chink fever back on /r9k/?

>>74400342
always wonder if people who do this shit are rich or they just spend all their money on this autism

>>74400381
I don't go to that uni, know him from somewhere else

i can tell this puerto rican girl wants to get bleached even though her profile says she hates trump. what do i say to fuck her??

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have to see the dentist tomorrow

>>74400382
stop fucking messing with me

grim as fuck

look how old they and the concert patrons are

absolutely grim

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbywM1PDORA

>>74400427
ay yo bby want sum fuk?

>>74400427
just ask her out

thinking about starting a radical centrist political party

neither philip nor the queen have died

this emergency meeting is happening because Diana has been resurrected in an unholy laboratory and is going to spill the beans

>>74400454
just join the lib dems or whatever your equivalent is
bourgeois runt

>>74400407
>only chinks have nice fannies
you tell me

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REAL NIGGA HOURS

>>74400427
"Praise Kek, MAGA, and a Shadilay to you, bluepilled roastie"

>>74400427
probably just after your money 2bh lmao

Spiritual vibrations: high
3rd eye: open
Chakra: energized

Macron 2017 = Le Pen 2022

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In an interview with USA Today published on June 3, 2005, Tyson said, "My whole life has been a waste – I've been a failure." He continued: "I just want to escape. I'm really embarrassed with myself and my life. I want to be a missionary. I think I could do that while keeping my dignity without letting people know they chased me out of the country. I want to get this part of my life over as soon as possible. In this country nothing good is going to come of me. People put me so high; I wanted to tear that image down." Tyson began to spend much of his time tending to his 350 pigeons in Paradise Valley, an upscale enclave near Phoenix, Arizona.

>>74400488
indeed
should've been melenchon

>>74400398
dont worry, I have the absolute supreme british accent and I know it's hot

not a curse la' any accent is hot

>>74400482
her profile says she's interested in men with a career but i'm in school lul

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>>74400496
good post

You used the whole meat
You used the whole meat
You used the whole meat
Beef beef dinner

how do i stop giving off the virgin vibe?

how do i give off the mysterious and sexy vibe?

so considering going /fit/

problem: i want otter mode and nearly have it

do females compliment that though idk

>>74400501
HOWLING

i'm not being funny lad but i've heard your voice and you sound like a polish ed miliband with a speech impediment

>>74400528
many girls have complimented my accent lol

Screen just went orange

>>74400521
just be urself

>>74400541
many girls are slags for anything that sounds vaguely exotic

trust me, i'm welsh too, i know accent feels, but yours is not a nice sounding one

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>>74400545
>just be yourself

dick just went orange

best gimmick: ummm, sweeetie ___________

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>>74400551
>tfw welsh but don't sound it
>tfw a girl at uni didn't believe me when i said i was from cardiff

>>74400551
trust me, it is.

t. living my life

doing a shitpost

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>>74400551

>>74400558
/sp/ and /tv/ are the best for gimmicks

theresa may had the queen killed so she could call off the election. she fears the lib dem surge.

>>74400560
do another vocaroo then

>>74400412
it's the latter

they're friendless losers so they don't have the option of spending money on pints (love pints) at the pub with mates or taking girls out

>>74400594
doxxable info to be frank with you

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>>74400545
>>74400553

>>74400488
Nah. It'll be King Charles 2022 as he will have consolidated power and abolished parliament in the UK thanks to Soros. They will invade the EU.

the succession goes charles then william right

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/prg/

>poo peeland
hahahahaha

why are the welsh short lads

>>74400637
that a subreddit my fellow redditor?! XD

/brit/? more like /burp/ hahahaha

just seen ANOTHER reference to that 'toon

>>74400662
oh haha, did you get my message from the last thread? hehe, *burrrgrrgrh*, ;)

>>74400662
delet

pm me if you're selling 'juana

been finding myself more attracted to cartoon females lately

can anyone think of a better football/sport advert than this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TXPI7Vur1Y

so fucking classic

>>74400686
>refball
YAAAAWWWNNN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MusyO7J2inM

>>74400709
hated this when i saw it first time

cunt obviously doesnt support a team and understand

stupid uneducated twat

(.)(.)

I don't have anything against your Queen, but I hope she's dead because I bet on her dying this year and I want my free beer

>>74400709
would've enjoyed bullying you in school

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Currently slowing down the internet at work by uploading gigabytes of photos from my phone

>>74400686
wud rek u on fifa street
https://youtu.be/fMMHSZjX5Nk

@tripmong
he's clearly not so much having a go at football as he is having a go at sports channels and advertisements. It's funny and not worth getting riled up about

dubs and the queen is dead

>>74400782
he's implying certain football matches are insignificant.

every match is significant to somebody, he needs to fuck off about this topic, I love Mitchell but this is a shit piece by him.

>>74400528
>>74400541
>>74400551
niggers please I was talking about the female accent
that is sexy and hot

>>74400810
close

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>getting angry about someone insulting football

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>>74400814

>>74400709
TMWL is hit and miss but this was pretty spot-on

>>74400810
I'm Irish and I love the queen. you'd shit your cunt if she died.

>>74400810
I meant these

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YINGLAAAAAAAD

cannot stand david mitchell
would love to shove his face in a pile of shit

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>>74400833
FUCKER STOLE EM

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>>74400834
wrong picture mate

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>>74400864

t. deano

>>74400813
he's making fun of 'significant' ones too (Man U, Tottenham v Bolton when they were more relevant), but specifically regarding the way matches are advertised in hyperbolic ways on tv
he's not even implying that people who watch football are stupid like some champagne loving tarquin type, he's just pointing out silly things within the world of British tv sport

>>74400872
peep show isn't even funny after series 6

Jeremy turns into an absolute retard with no substance and Mark's meltdowns aren't even funny and just simply odd.

>>74400758
why don't you write me a fanfic about it?

@
>peep show was ever good

>>74400930
s-stop this.

reddit and morty

posting in a dead royal edition

>>74400939
I'm going to make a ladyboy out of every yingluck picture you love

>>74400946
burp

>>74400956
you monster, what do you want from me?

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thairad!

Anyone else taking ketamine for the first time?

morty...

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>>74400974

>>74400890
I remember a biphasic lad once. He made the Nige shoops.His span was /int/ and /pol/ now, just Thai pics on, the /brit/

>>74400983
get some ketty legs on me la'

thailad did you play warcraft 3 back in the day

thailad unironically says "praise kek" irl 3-4 times a day

BOOOOM

BIG REVEAL

god isn't real morty *burps*

Prince Charles isn't dead he opened up a cricket field yesterday.

*inspects your willy*

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>>74400991
I did more kev and scrunchy face azn gril than anything t?bh
>>74401015
nah
>>74401023
only when I ejaculate t?bh

>>74401024
*gets schwifty*

>>74401033
what vidya were you playing from 2003-2006

https://twitter.com/RedaMor_/status/859974030564225024

>>74401033
God bless the original biphasic Thailad.

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did a 'nk

the Duke of Edinburgh has just died, show some fucking respect

i could fuck everyone in this thread

>>74401081
don't fucking care

*pisses on the union jack*

>>74401056
ugh.. like css, guildwars, gmod etc.
>>74401069
y-you too

>>74401077
Nice shorts, I can see your minge.

>>74401081
good

>>74401077
isn't she like 15?

'nce

>>74401109
>she

>>74401109
20s

'uce

>>74401081
about bloody time that old codger bit the dust

>>74401098
kill yourself fucking scumbag

>>74401127
you got no proof

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>>74401135
Might have to apologise for that one mate. You know where to find me when you're ready.

>>74401147
neither do you

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took a shit buds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=041nXAAn714

>>74401156
kill yourself fucking scumbag

I hope with this old hag's death a new wave of republicanism spreads throughout the anglosphere

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>>74401130
>>74401108
>>74401093

>>74401093
>canada

night lads

opinion: "to be" is an utterly useless verb

>>74401202
really bad opinion t.bh

>>74401202
to be useless it needs to have no use.

>>74401189
don't care

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F

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/611200/prince-philip-dead-uk-queen-elizabeth-ii-dies-buckingham-palace-royal-staff-emergency-meet

>>74401189
night chap. sweet dreams

new yank reporting in

>>74401202
fuck off paki

>>74401214
kinda don't wanna go to bed just in case it's real

Regardless of my opinion of the monarchy.

F

I remember my mum crying when Diana died.

>>74401214
>the queen calls a meeting
>the daily star says he must be dead

retard

or not
that is the question

>>74401233
runt

is there a more Reddit ideology than republicanism?

>>74401233
you're one of us

>>74399647
talks to me

>>74401236
stage one: denial
stage two

>>74401255
Communism

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nervous about the queen lads

>>74401283
GO BACK TO YOUR LITTLE SHED ON YOUR RAINY SOCIALIST ISLAND YOU LITTLE KEK

REAL AMERICANS ARE GLAD THAT THE QUEEN IS DEAD.

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queen die

no

>>74401255
>>74401277
both me

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>>74401303
Fight me irl you cur!

>>74401283
>>74401307
it's phil, not liz

>>74401309
you arent me fuck off

>The Queen met with British Prime Minister Theresa May yesterday, while Prince Philip, 95, opened a new stand at the Lord's cricket ground the same day.

hope prince phillip died and the queen died as well of a broken heart, she's a fucking shit monarch

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ples dont go phil

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>>74401324
You know something we don't la?

>>74401336
Edgy.

say hello 2 diana 4 me phimo phill

>>74401359
>the truth is edgy

fuck off lefty twat

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>When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
rip

>>74401335
Theresa May is a fucking sociopath. She had are Liz killed.

>>74401336
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpLc8NJo7SA

me nan looks just like the queen and annie lennox, aka native briton

>>74401378
>This video contains content from BBC Worldwide, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds.

ah yes, BBB """""Worldwide"""""

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>>74401336
Would love for you to say this in my presence you little worm

I'm hungry but my dad is sleeping downstairs so I can't get to the kitchen easily :^(

>>74401391
>BBB

fuck, well you all know what i meant anyway *looks fiercely around the room, as if daring anyone to say something*

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>>74401378
ah yes

>>74401405
will your dad hit you lad?

>>74401418
Nah but I don't want to wake him up or let him know I'm up

How come BBC, Guardian et al aren't reporting on the happening lads?

hey folks just got it over the wires: the king is dead, but the queen's still kicking.

>>74401432
All that's happening rn is speculation t?bh. The tabloids are rumour mills

>>74401432
Protocol is 8 AM

>>74401391
>>74401414
I mean, you could just do a proxy.

>>74401434
>king
You mean the Queen's consort.

>>74401448
What protocol?

>>74401446
>speculation

oh so they just randomly assemble royal staffers? someone's dead m8

>>74401452
i could, but i won't

>>74401470
>source: daily mail and the mirror

>>74401470
Possibly, but not necessarily.

>>74401430
dad tells me to go to bed and im in my 20s

>oi!
>what're u doin in the kitchen?
>its 11 PM get yer arse back in barn loft