/brit/

*watches youtube video with over 3000 views*
*scrolls down*
*reads*
day ruined

33% fluent in Spanish according to the 'lingo

*gets schwifty*

>>74242522
beijing, tbf I don't mind some of the hate for mainlanders because they're usually from the south and I despise southerners

multinational tech company sounds promising though, thought you would be involved with some small local startup type thing given the way you brush off work.

still think you're one of those older inept nonces I saw way too often over there

>watching movie
>qt girl is talking with a heavy british accent
>IMDB says she was born in hawaii

???????

The batty ex of 6 months ago sent a text saying she's wearing the jumper I once gave her. This was two weeks after she left a message in a google doc we once shared saying she was 'sorry for everything'.

Don't want to re-engage but also don't want to snub her. Very uncomfortable situation lads.

>>74242787
raised in britain maybe

>>74242787
you do realise that people can change how their voice sounds, right?

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quiet in the corner, numb and falling through
without you, what does my life amount to

>>74242801
let me have her

What should I do today lads?

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I didn't even ask for all these (You)'s

>>74242766
donde es el burrito? haha

>>74242805
yeah i can fake a british accent as well

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redditspacing

>>74242787
met an asian (oriental not paki) bloke who had a thick london cockney accent once, blew my mind

>>74242801
why were you sharing a google doc lmao
assuming it was for a project why did you go back and check it?

>>74242850
Rude mate that's my sister

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iron giant came out 18 years ago

>>74242838
post on 4chan until you get tired, maybe have an idle midnight wank, and go to sleep

>>74242858
>30$

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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my XXXL is on its way lads

Came up on my 'last modified' list, was curious

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>rude mate that's my sister

>>74242889
havent seen it

ive seen the matrix and star wars episode 1 and toy story 2 though

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What is the most hilarious possible way to kms lads?

>>74242913
Was meant to reply to
>>74242881

>>74242924
Give yourself AIDS and then bum trump

>>74242924
go to Seoul and zerg the DMZ

the guards will shoot you.

>>74242858
sup griffithlad

>>74242924
get impaled by a frozen shaft of urine that fell from a plane

might be hard to stage though

>>74242940
Unironically my dream car

just let out a very rancid fart

ATENCAO
DESVIO A
500m

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i2eZaJsC7g

>>74242769
everyone's entitled to their bad days, you've just got a different frequency is all. No worries lad, it's good you're working on it though keep at it.
>>74242783
I could move to Beijing next week if I wanted to, but it's not going to happen. You believe what you like mate, no wuzzers.

Going shopping.

>>74242910
you're still paying 30$ la
you can get a good large from bambinos near me for 20$, even mad pizza is below 30

>>74242985
don't think i give a shit mate

How the fuck did Australia and America turn out so different. It's not like we didn't have an entire state where you sent your criminals as well.

just shut the fuck up

business idea: peace and understanding

>>74242985
do you mean bambino torino on missenden road?

>>74243001
australia was settled by Anglo Saxons and Gaels
america was settled by Africans and Hispanics

>>74243045
worked in KFC when i was 16, applied at safeway but they wouldnt take me haha x

low energy morning

>>74243058
Australia's dream is just to get rekt n'that
Yanks dream is to have a big gut, big 8.0L german sedan, have a big paperhouse etc

>>74243001
You fucked up your massive Eden of a country while we acted properly on our lesser-but-still-nice landmass xoxo

i poo 3 times a day

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>>74243085

>>74243085
wish that 7 was reduced to 0 2bh

>>74243058
great meme potato nigger

Britain should nuke your country asap
>>74243085
>>74243089
Mate i was referring to how Australia is worse than the U.S.

We're better economically politically militarily geographically.

>>74243001
we didn't betray the crown

and we're not even that different

>>74243111
struck a nerve?
honestly though America is fucking nuts. I dont think we'll ever find out why its so crazy

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>>74243085
Whoops you missed one of the stats mate

>>74243132
damn that nibba blick

>>74243117
you were never fucked over like we were either.

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>>74243111
You're 100% correct mate, Australia is a shithole. Our corrupt government makes up these stats to try and get rich buggers to come over.

Spread the truth that Australia is shit and that nobody should ever come here

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me and the gf

>>>/pol/123456789
big get lads haha

eating pizza at this hour of the morning haha what am I like

can't we just agree that all the anglo countries are great

>>74243145
not even room for me? :(

>>74243192
Depends on which countries you say are Anglo

>>74243173
me in the beanie

Can blacks get acne?

>>74243192
isn't germany classed as an Islamic Caliphate now ?

>>74243157
if you want a perfect analogy as to the differences between britain, australia, and america, look at australian mustard

it's just half english mustard, half american mustard

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Z1Hl67fNt0

me after a day of wage slavery

>>74243216
yes yes very original

>>74243216
was this really worth posting

>>74243226
What, so it's like 3/4 strength mustard?

>>74243244
was this really worth posting

>hurr durr the revolutionary war was about taxes meme

The Founding fathers never even originally planned on leaving the empire, they just wanted a seat in parliament, if the king wouldn't have been such a cunt about that, we would still be British

>>74243216
the UK is worse

>>74243254
>the king

actually it was the british parliament's fault

>>74243256
t. IRA agent

love hot creations lads

>>74243264
>>74243256
>>74243254
>>74243253
>>74243244
>>74243241
>>74243234
>>74243231
>>74243226
>>74243219
>>74243216
>>74243215
>>74243210
>>74243207
>>74243197
>>74243192
>>74243183
>>74243181
>>74243173
>>74243171
>>74243157
>>74243154
>>74243145
>>74243141
>>74243132
>>74243117
>>74243111
>>74243109
>>74243098
>>74243090
>>74243089
>>74243085
>>74243077
>>74243075
>>74243053
>>74243045
>>74243022
>>74243011
>>74243003
>>74243001
>>74242999
>>74242985
was this really worth posting?

>>74242973
I don't imagine beijing is much better than bangkok if I'm honest, it's just you got some grade a mongs moving to asia overall when they were found too incompetent to continue working in america or wherever and could only find a job overseas (with the low cost of living being a big factor I imagine)

one of the worst offenders I've ever known was in my dad's office in shanghai, again that's got to be one of the most desirable locations but he never would've moved there if he hadn't gotten booted out of his old company

there were still successful people though, my school was pretty rich so a lot of my friends' parents were often involved with multinationals working there and had some big role managing the asia pacific region or whatever, just don't imagine that's where you're headed (especially in the tech industry where any smelly indian could take your place) and with your disengaged and bitter rorke fantasies, even if you can have engaging conversations with people.

>>74243279
probably not mate

Was it really worth getting out of bed this morning?

Answer: no

>>74243279
was this?

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imagine being an arsefartian

>>74243053
yeah but I think it's a chain?

good value

i'm a somewhat close friend of my next door neighbour but every day when he goes to work he leaves his back door unlocked so i go in and poo in his toilet

>>74243285
>>74243290
>>74243289
don't think i asked for your opinion

>>74243279
all me

>>74243290
Knit your socks

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the dream fanny

>>74243312
>asks question
>don't think i asked for your opinion

think we got an abbo here lads

>>74243279
me at the bottom

Doing an arsefart

>>74243304
nah there is only two

torino's on enmore road and bambino torino
bambino is child in italian

more you know

>>74243312
how about this?

hate australians
love pints

I'm seeing double! Four Krustys!

>>74243326
>>74243339

never asked a question, did i? rock up to my joint and i'll fucking vapourize your fucking testicles you cunts

>>>/pol/123457940

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>rock up to my joint and i'll fucking vapourize your fucking testicles you cunts

farts reverberate against my cheeks

who /dappergentleman/ here?

dont think i'll get a gf unless i lower my standards
i like pretty gurlos though haha

>>74243391
don't mind ugly or fat girls so long as they actually care about me and love me
so far that's not happened ahaha

>>74243395
TCD is better than any aussie university

>>74243334
ah interesting, thought I odered online from them once and I had to choose newtown so I assumed they had more

ever noticed how every aussie poster here seems to be inner west sydney?

youtube needs less political channels and more primitive technology

i got dumped by a anorexic girl ahaha

how about this post?

>>74243404
fat is fucking disgusting lad

>>74243279
i like to think every post i make increases my writing skill, even though i often neglect to use proper punctuation and capitalisation, but that's more out of laziness than lack of skill

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Just cut the tip of my finger off to see if it'll grow back and shit hurt lmao

Just dumped my fatass bf

>>74243414
>>74243414
im out east but lived there for ages

not looking too forward to work tomoz

>>74242999
>fine with the restaurant jew taking an unnecessary amount of his money away

alri you live your life I'll live mine

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>>74242701
@mylad

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>>74243433
that's the point of the post lad, even ugly and/or fat women don't like me
its humour, meant to be self deprecating

>>74243438
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYDfwUJzYQg

foy

>>74243446
have an exam I'm FUCKED for tomorrow
was going to do a study today but spent all my time on /brit/

might call my dog wynona

Loving every laff lads

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morning lads

work tomorrow

>>74243500
you look very familiar mate haha
do i know you?

California Institute of Technology is the best college in America? Yeah right. No way that list is legit. Never even heard of the college.

>>74243500
its a bank holiday tomorrow, tell your boss to suck his dead great gran through his dad's batty crease rudeboy

>>74243520
i'm going in for overtime tomorrow because i'm in dire need of the money

jfmsu

it's 5:01AM
>>74243416
will never understand why even gf likes that boring meme channel

that feel when no girlfriend is the worst feel in america?
that list is legit. never even had a gf

ah yes....university wanking by microbrain /brit/s....cracking start to the sunday morning....

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>>74243469
100% serious

Shit actually really stings now

that's a mighty fine cadillac

>>74243536
It must be some technology thing, because almost positive the highest degrees still come from Harvord.

and yeah caltech sounds more familiar.

>>74243552
It's Britains grand child :^)

my usually mute cat meowed at me this morning. i gave him extra food for breakfast and a cuddle for this momentous achievement

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out with the 'og lads

I respect Corbyn as a man and whether agree with him or not, think he's genuinely trying to do good.
But the way he half heartedly shilled for the EU despite being against it makes me feel uneasy.

I respect May for doing a brexit like the public want despite voting against it.
But the way she's going around making UKIP-tier pro brexit speeches for this election is just like...come on man, I know you were against brexit.

Tim Farron is the whiniest most wet lettuce politician Britain has seen in years

UKIP are a shambles of a party now.

Who am I to vote for?

>>74243585
that's just a normal sized dog next to me, a 5'9 male

did you get this image from my facebook?

>>74243580
cuntree roleplay
*barfs*FO*barfs*Y
>>74242766
chúpame la verga :)

just fuck off

whatever you were writing, delete it.

>>74243438
>>74243571

I'm so sorry for you. Having to remortgage your house to get treated. I hope you win a scratch card one day xxx

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>just fuck off

>whatever you were writing, delete it.

a lot of virgin posting being done

imagine being so old you were born in the 80s

>working on a bank holiday Monday

Absolute runts the lot of you

>>74243636
oh SHIT did not mean to fucking post this

>>74243618
oh okay, sorry mate
*goes to delete click X but spazzes out and clicks post instead*

>>74243652
can't fathom this

>>74243571
why didn't you just google it or ask some autist on the chon
are you baked or just lying?
>>74243617
best feelpost I've read in a while

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>>74243438

>>74243636
Loving every laugh

>>74243636
>>74243659
come home white man

>>74243603

labour still

>>74243603
vote labour
even if corbyn wins, his insane/silly policies won't get through parliament

>>74243659
are you Mexican?

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>>74243670
Just bored desu

Fug its bleeding a lot now

>>74243705
>6 foot
he's a big guy

>pakis hate rorkes because rorkes hate pakis
>pakis are the biggest rorkes on the planet

Really twists my melon

>>74243734
for a chicano

>>74243636
streisand effect m8, you're fucked now ruiz

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>>74243705
you think janny will allow that?

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>be American
>cut off your own finger because you're bored

>>74243719
won't labour winning give them the vindication to push through his ideas?

>he lives in a gated community

FOB

>>74243750
if you posted your drivers license, would you delete it?

>>74243758
oh SHIT did not mean to fucking post this

>>74243705
THIRTY
SIX
YEARS
OLD

what's a fun way to induce diarrhea?

>>74243774
not necessarily
plus even if labour did win, I don't think they'd have a strong majority, so any silly shit would get blocked by tories/blairites

>>74243603
did he really shill for them though? only thing I saw was that tv interview in which he felt (7/10) for remaining in the eu or whatever

>>74243789
beer

Is this the autismo yank?

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so bored. nothing to do and nowhere to go. urge to get drunk increasing and its not even half fucking ten yet

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>EYES: BRO

>>74243778
ye probably
dont need nosy cunts digging through the archives

can't wait til mummy may cuts all your neetbux

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>>74243725
>wank
>play vidya
>use the phone comfortably
>write
>shitpost
>use the computer comfortably
these are among the things you could have done to killed boredom, which might now be affected by you retarded decision mi hermano

>>74243805
Which one? I'm actually many yanks that you probably assume to be all different people

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doing an 8 hour nap

maybe a 10 hour nap

goodnight bye

>>74243832
I don't play video games that's for nerds

Just fancied some experimentation on my own body you know

>watching The Big Questions
>realise just how fucking thick people generally are

Humanity doesn't deserve to survive.

*tips*

>>74243858
no
mental illness isn't fun

>>74243820
sometimes take a cheeky walk through those fancypants inner-eastern sydney suburbs just because I can
then stare down all the rich runts I come into contact with

>bring back Dobby from the second movie
>he saves them all
>kill him off

Jesus Rowling, these were kids books

WTF

i accidentally posted personal info here once but i didn't delete or otherwise draw attention to it and now i'm fine

some runts will never learn

seriously what the fuck should i actually do today rather than just sit on my computer and idly browse 4chan for 15 hours

>>74243858
nah, being a normie is more fun

just came

going to take a shower

>>74243869
this post made me fancy a pint

anyone else fancy a pint? pints on the house. i love me a good pint

>>74243880
go to the beach
oh wait lel

>>74243834
do you remember the cuckio meme?
>>74243860
>heh vidya gems are for losers ill just experiment with my body by fucking mutilating myself and posting it for (You)s
AULLANDO

>>74243864
>mental illness isn't fun
You've never been in a nut house full of schizophrenics.

>in the overweight BMI range
just my just up

>>74243887
didn't give you permish to post my gf did i? so delete this, ta

>>74243903
LOVE pints.

>>74243906
i live right next to the beach

>>74243929
w-what category does inner west fall under?

>>74243917
'ckin 'ell, mate

how embarrassing

>>74243900
nothing worse than taking a shower and realising you forgot to wank first

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>>74243928
beachy head?

>>74243928
show pics

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ES3fZyDCWeI

good tune

>>74243969
I can still look down on filthy westerlies though right?

the hottest women in the world are slightly overweight
anyone else noticing how I've been making tremendous posts lately?

>>74243907
Nah don't remember cuckio, I'm hamdog yank, fashion yank, commie yank, gun yank, pepe making yank, "all in the family" yank, self mutilation yank, pic of my dog yank but cuckio yank isn't something I'm familiar with

>>74243955
do you do any cleanup right before the shower? I just leave the cum all over my belly and wrap a towel around me while holding it out a bit as I go to the shower

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>the hottest women in the world are slightly overweight

>there are mountains in China you're not allowed to climb cause they're considered sacred by the govt

don't get this. I thought the chinese did away with all those old religious/traditional customs during the cultural revolution?

hamdog is underappreciated

>>74244025
chinks are mongs

>>74244025
It's where the nukes are

>>74244016
have a designated cum rag i place over my belly while doing the deed

>>74244015
cuck

>>74244025
probably pandering to regional minorities

>>74242701
I wanna immigrate to Australia.
Does any Australia want give me a place to live and help to get a residence?
I'm hard working, qt and whte.

bit hungover lads LOL

>people still finish on their bellies

what?

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>>74244015
as in

>walks towards u

>>74244015
ah you're a good guy then, though a bit dim
if you ever meet a certain yank individual who asks about said meme, tell him to 'ff 'imself k

>>74244065
might do this
imagine cleanup is a pain but if you're taking a shower anyway it can't be too bad

>>74244078
r u gril

>>74244078
post boipucci credentials

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TOOT

>>74244143
*sniffs it*

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>>74244105

>>74244143
what is this and why does it get posted every day now?

poor blokes licence has been up for 20 minutes now, stupid janny

>>74244161
It's a portal to another dimension

>>74244161
it's a guy with phimosis who's put an ear gauge in his foreskin

>>74244161
penis crown
he's a prince

*sits on your lap*

>>74244143
looks lickable

>>74244186
*i lost my legs in the vietnam war, sending you crashing to the ground*

*shits on your lap*

>>74244175
so the phimosis thing wasn't just a gimmick?

>>74244216
perhaps

>>74244143
LMAO

doing a high-octane poo

>>74244120
sure bby

need a ukranian gf

thought phimolad was an aussie

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*texts her*
*radio silence*

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me on the left

>>74244298
think there's about 10 of us with in here. i'm an ex phismosis lad but the 'ol knob has shrunk over the years so i basically have a giant wrinkly foreskin with nothing inside it ha-ha!

>>74244305
>gif
fuck off

>>74244287
иди нaхyй pyccкaя cyкa

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>so anon how come you know so much about this penile condition you don't even have?

doing research on the link between phimosis, autism and neethood.

My foreskin is like the sleeve on an old dressing gown.

up my sleeves
up my sleeves
up my sleeves
up my sleeves

>>74244336
wow rude. i wasn't asking you. i want to live in Straya not in your smoggy hell

work tomorrow

>>74244383
not for the UK :)

>>74244332
think I have a touch of the ol' phimosis, that or a thing called a frenulum breve; I can pull the foreskin back alright but it kind of pulls down on the front of my knob because the frenulum is too short

one of these stretchy implements may help but don't want to buy one of those ear things, could try something from the kitchen heh

>>74244348
ironically my autism only manifested once i cured my phimosis (and got a job a few years later)

thought I had a big willy but I dont

>>74244418
>autism only manifested
Is this a thing? late stage autism?

>>74244332
don't think a willy can shrink, you probably imagined it was bigger and the foreskin became less tight with age

phimosis

>>74244381
aвcтpaлия для бeлыe люди

ты нe тaкoй

>>74244444
checked

>>74244415
aren't you at a huge risk of snapping your banjo string?

>>74244381
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7-EwEpl2Kk translate this pls

>>74244444
>pents

WAZOO1!!!!!!!!!!!!

business idea: every intellectuals fuck off to work in the fields

>yanks don't have bank holidays

wow

>>74244415
get a bit of this too but it is rarely an issue

>>74244455
stop being rude to the girl (male) I want her(male) to translate songs

>>74244498
>not being white is rude

>>74244444
not sure lad, i used to be a normie. cant even hold a conversation without muddling up my words anymore or look a girl in the eyes. My life is basically one giant panic attack these days

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37l7P5V1eXU subtitled choon
>>74244478
you sound like a yank

pee you sea sea eye?

>>74244455
what does this say, think google translate was off

>>74244467
that's what I'm afraid of, never willied a girl without a condom and afraid it won't rise to the occasion and hurt like hell

seen one pornstar with the same knobtilt as me though and he seems to get along well, maybe with a bit of stretching it should be fine

>>74244516
google translate made it sound rude la

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGxjIBEZvx0

doing a bob

>>74244537
but you did shag someone with condom? why is that different?

maybe just start off slow

>>74244415
I think I had it but my gf cured it
she was naughtily wanking me and got carried away and was doing it too roughly. I told her stop, but she didn't listen and cut the frenulum thing
I started bleeding a lot and freaked the fuck out but a few hours later my willy was erect with a bandage on. Looked funny

>>74244601
ah yes

>>74244602
CLOSE YER FUCKING MOUTH

>tfw had the phino but got circumcised

>>74244608
one of the few interesting anecdotes in my life
the ol' shag feels better now

>>74244531
boy poochi

>tfw can call my gf mummy and it's not weird cause Spanish is sexier
cackling at anglo """""""""dirty talk"""""""'""

>>74244601
and it never hurt after that? I've read it can scar after that happens and inflexible and hurt again at slight aggravations

>>74244598
wouldn't know, I was drunk as hell the only time I got he opportunity. but I'd imagine a condom stops the foreskin from "unfurling" like it would from skin on skin contact

>>74244627
pyrrhic victory methinks

>>74244627
would rather live with the phimo uncircumcised

>>74244627
idiot

File: hmm.png (34KB, 297x207px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 297x207px

>>74244674
I don't know, maybe I was just lucky
it definitely feels different but for the better. Never hurt and I don't see any scar
why don't you ask a doc though?

>>74244733
>>74244733

>>74244672
no, its weird mate. sorry.

>>74244672
Classical Latin is the only sexy romance language

>>74245281