/brit/

My name is Maximus Brisbanus Phimosis, commander of the Armies of the Neet, General of the Virgin Walkers and loyal servant to the true emperor, Turtle Mong. Son to a disappointed mother, brother to a whore sister. And I will have my circumcision, in this life or the next.

find the idea of communism quite appealing desu

Anime

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screaming

>>73784866
Are white flight destination.

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>yanks

>>73784913
Of course its appealing it promises utopia

>>73784944
california and the northeast once again proving themselves to be some of the few remaining bastions of civilisation

when im writing essays i constantly make cat noises as a way of dissipating the intense frustration and sheer boredom

>>73784866
its funny that you assume just becasue she dressed cuter she wasn't already a weirdo

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>>73784967
>california
>bastion of civilisation

>>73784913
>owning any property or trading is literally illegal

appealing if you're a complete cuck, sure

>>73784978
Pop 200mg of modafinil and your work will become interesting you bender

>>73784866
watched the first miute of the one on the left

BAFFLING when these people accuse others of narcissism

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>>73784908
im not the one with a prossie sister he lives in sydney

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The neet-mummy power dynamic makes the situation so much worse because I'm not allowed to defend myself when she goes off, I have to grovel and apologize even if I actually haven't done anything wrong. I find that she almost never cares about the thing she's yelling about, she's usually just venting her frustration over my complete failure to launch and the fact I'm a loser.

I couldn't afford easter eggs for the family so I tried to hide in my room when everyone was exchanging eggs. She wouldn't allow this, she made me announce to everyone that I had no eggs for them.

>so you didn't get any eggs for the kids? Not even a little pack for them to share? Wow, happy easter to you too

>economy keeps growing but public services keep getting cut

Ah yes very impressive

>>73785016
great picture, mind if I save it?

>>73784967
are you trying to tell me you call it soda and not soft drink

>>73785000
Where to buy?

>>73784908
screaming

>>73785026
public services are gay

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me negotiating a bit of the ol' how's yer father with the gf

*asserts dominance*

>>73784944
fizzy pop masterrace

>>73785000
no because im not a weak fucking shit twat
never respond to me again i INTENSELY dislike you

execute all new zealanders

>>73784908
like this post because I'm the emperor

There's no such thing as ethical paypigs under capitalism

someone in a thread a bit ago said that when he had anal sex it felt like sandpaper on his knob

and now i cant get that image out of my head, find it rather disturbing indeed

reciting poetry in front of anyone seems fundamentally vain

Wish Theresa May would stop saying the country is united in backing Brexit

What fucking planet is she on? It doesn't help when the daily mail reignite the bullshit with headlines like todays

extra cute: all new zealanders

>>73785115
howling at the utter state of your intellectual poverty

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*bends you to my will*

>>73785011

alri but did you crack a smile at least

>>73784984
of course she was a weirdo, all vloggers are self aborbed wankers
but she wasn't a man hating feminist

>>73785043
your mum is a public service

>>73785138
>book

hmm

wait
theres an aussie whos sister is a prostitute here?

Might start a poetry vblog

Wearing giant shoe lifts, walking slightly funny but I don't think anyone's gonna notice

>>73784866
Right is better

might do a move to thailand

>>73785181
roses are red
violets are blue
thailad did quite a large poo

>>73785193
you want to be in my poetry vblog?

might blow me nads off with a shotgun

licence is a bastard to get though

>>73785197
Might have to steal this one

>>73784908
Your sister moaned like a whore.
Which come to think of it is understandable considering we were having sex in a brothel at the time and I had exchanged money with the explicit expectation of an ensuing sexual encounter.
Not really much of an insult now that I come to think of it, sex workers are a legal profession here and the historical stigma attached to sex work created a great deal of harm throughout the community.
So, um, yeah.

ed's sister is very fit

pls watch this is very important
http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1491846996130.webm

>>73785220

post pic of ed

never seen him

not being funny but how do all the Bruces know one another

lads, girl at work ran a half marathon in 2 hours 1 minute earlier in the year.

she's now taking bets (sweepstake) on what her time will be at the London marathon. what do you reckon?


i'm thinking 4:47

woke up and found myself in australia again this morning even though I signed a formal contract with the devil for the exchange of one soul for a choice of settlement in any location around the world

used to have a right giggle at the atheists but this experience was a real eye-opener

Made a bargain with the devil, I now have telekinesis but I'm never allowed to show anyone. You can't dispute this

>>73785138
the lessons in the prince would be taught to a fledgling royal before he was 8

>>73785129
What's the alternative to backing brexit

>>73785228
adorable thanks for sharing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKjCjr0njHw

>>73785260
sounds like a terribly runty office

>>73785267
>>73785274
bit concerned about how you both made posts about the devil within 8 seconds of each other

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>>73785228

Girl independently brings up anal but says she doesn't do it

HMMMMM

>>73785274
Yes I can

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTx38LEexbE

This is my bed, this is my girl
This is my bed, for my little while
This is my bed, this is where I go
This is my bed, when the day is done
This is my bed, where I’m at ease
This is my bed, my place of peace
This is my bed, be ready for me when you come
This is my bed, where I wake up
I hope you’ll stay
or return if you go
I hope you’ll taste my kiss

>>73785267
>>73785274
Spooky

Alfie-linaris, shitposter to the emperor May, had a good crap here.

>>73785267
>>73785274
hmm

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>>73785267
>>73785274

>>73785289
Put me in for a tenner on Did Not Finish (Died)

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>>73785176

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>>73785274
>>73785267

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AMH AMH AMH RARRRFFFFFFFFFFFF RARRRR GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

OOF OOF OOF GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAR

if you're not in the purple quadrant of the political compass you're not a real person desu

I have wet the bed. I admit, I was wrong, my host. If you ask ‘why?’ The toilet was busy.

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>>73785353

>>73785140
yeh

your thoughts on pints lads?

>>73785392
love pints

Is raping a communist even rape since they don't believe in ownership

your thoughts on pines lads?

>>73785176
former prostitute and shes in big debt to some arab guy
you can spot him because he's always whinging about how much of a bitch she is

>>73785408
love pines

your thoughts on wogs?

>>73785419
hate wogs

>>73785401
i think the law will still count it as rape

>>73785431
are you racist?

>>73785419
subhumans who haven't yet realised that the soccer meme will never catch on because cricket is the thinking man's sport

>>73785445
no

>>73785445
not racist just don't like them

>>73785401
Rape hasn't been a property crime since the early 19th century, you shitlord

bark chips were the bane of my childhood

>>73785448
>soccer
foy

>>73785419
Only ever met two in my life, one was a bit wierd and the other was a eloquent smartypants

>>73785448
wogs includes indians in the UK cause they're fucking stupid

>>73785469
>chips
foy

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Got a so-called "electrician" on the way
Going to be watching him like a hawk in case he tries to nick anything

Normies. Thoughts?

>>73785448
drinking*

>>73785491
not a normist just dont like em

>>73785474
refuse to believe you lot call it football, might as well rejoin the european union

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Doing a watch the QT receptionist on the CCTV intensely

She has no idea what I'm doing in my trousers

>>73785491
just don't like them

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>>73785485
hmm

>>73785491
hate and envy them at the same time

ah yes the old unemployment

>>73785485
wogs = not white

>>73785510
the fucking STATE of you

>>73785502
football is quintessentially british

>>73785448
watching sports at all is for subfunctional bogans

>>73785487
Okay, bark crisps then
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodchips#Playground_surfacing

>>73785535
POLEY DOLEY

>>73785510
I remember when I used to work on the security desk at tesco I'd just zoom right in on people's faces or follow people I knew around the shop it was top laff

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>>73785518

>>73785502
they used to call it soccer until murdoch forced the 'football' puritanism

>>73785556
hah that would be a good one but unfortunately there's no dole in the old Poland

>when you triggered a Dutch guy by mentioning you're 2 cm taller than him

Good feels

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how disgusting

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>bark crisps

>>73785510
Cor, what a smashing pullover

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>>73785556
Dooley!

>>73785587
How do you get money for food and or other necessities

>>73785601
I mooch of the old parents

>>73785409
what part of sydney you in?

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Really like incest anime lads and sometimes think about how unreal it would be to have a sexy sister to wank me off and have proper forbidden sex.

I only feel that way because I don't have a sister though. I'd probably be disgusted with the idea otherwise.

A man can dream.

>>73785614
grim

>>73785590
the worst is when certain americans call it Futebol because they're so desperate to be accomodating

>>73785577
What point are you trying to put forth here?

the wogs begin at calais

>>73785623
I'm a single child and incest is one of my favourite fetishes desu

>>73785510
grim

>>73785585
actually you lot used to call it football until murdoch forced the globalist 'soccer' term

>>73785632
isn't it

was planning to move to the old Blighty and steal the old job but it's not possible anymore

>>73785623
I have IRL sisters and kick myself that I didn't force myself on them

>>73784944
Blue areas = White
Other colours = Basketball Americans

>>73785644
the real definition refers to meds only

>>73785620
i thought my referring to him in 3rd person would make it obvious i wasn't him

>>73785661
don't lie on the internet it sets a bad precedent

>>73785665
the fuck is wrong with you

>>73785623
Would never touch my sister but I'd give a selection of fingers for a go at one my cousins

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>bark crisps

>>73785590
>Australia
>Blue

What the fuck are you playing at?

>>73785672
yea... in australian usage

>>73785672
I don't think I've ever used it t?bh. My grandad used to. Referring to Italians iirc

was absent mindedly staring at a fairly cute girl at the bus stop when she looked back at me and caught my eye

then she sat at the opposite end of the bus to me

hate myself

>>73785623
>>73785656
>>73785665
no further proof need that porn is evil

>>73785661
>globalist 'soccer'
>used by every anglo country EXCEPT the UK

hmm REALLY moves the neurons

>>73785665
grim

got a sister as well and I can't even consider thinking such thoughts without feeling sick

>>73785656
>>73785623
i have two sisters, love the concept of incest but find both my sisters unattractive

>>73785590
pêl-droed master race

>>73785674
ah fug

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I'm about to spew my goo and she has no idea

>>73785718
fuck off wog

>>73785722
the anglosphere has made a group decision to expel the united kingdom for crimes against sport terminology as of right now

>>73785706
Already told you, didn't have forcible sexual congress with my female siblings when close cohabitation would have made it convenient

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>>73785590
ฟุตบอล (footboorn)

>>73785724
thatll have been 'wop'

>>73785774
ah yeah, you're right you know.

>>73785757
shag a sis mate then leg it to the outback

>>73785794
i know my wops and wogs

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What do British people think of Benedict Arnold?

>>73785810
good lad

>>73785750
Fuck off Alan

>>73785577
I like how that last part in the British section is written in such a way like they were shocked at the concept of israelis not being white

Jews are white

>>73785811
he literally and unironically did nothing wrong, americans needed a convenient scapegoat to force their nascent patriotism onto

>>73785577
>the wogs begin at Calais

This is more true than ever though

>>73785794
>>73785774
wop stands for WithOutPapers because a lot of Italian immigrants to the US were illegal back in the day

>>73785806
I'm waiting for one of them to get divorced then I can be the "Uncle" who's the kids' real uncle

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*blocks your path*

>Hello there, racist!

Every day I come onto this site, this general and there is no real British discussion.

I'm sitting here thinking, hey, why don't we establish a consensus in here to make this British related content only?

>>73785811
Alamo knife guy?

had a friend of italian heritage tell me dago was more offensive than wog
have never heard the term outside that one interaction

>>73785849
whoever said this place isn't educational?

>>73785861
ah yes the old seminal British post this

>>73784944
pop here

will be howling, screeching and wailing when the scots vote no again

>>73785851
>then I can be the "Uncle" who's the kids' real uncle
i don't get it

>>73785861
Hey diseases, or being friendly because gang about to mug.

>>73785880
There will be a general for discussion about Italians, can you try and keep it on topic please.

>>73785409
oh is that the lad whos constantly talking about his mam and sister

>>73785419
not racist, just dont like em

>>73785901
will be howling tenfold when scotland secedes, builds the hadrian wall 2.0, and absconds to the european union with your oil reserves and deep fried mars bars

>>73785044
Doesn't you gf already know your size?

>>73785901
They won't be having another go until after Brexit. At which point all someone will have to do is point out they'll be on their own between the process of leaving the UK and joining the EU.

>>73785935
quintessential wog post this

>>73785044
what do these accounts look like for them to even get responses

Do you think Corbyn will cry when he loses?

>>73784866
shes way more attractive on the right but i wish she wasnt mental

>>73785978
nah, he will continue on regardless

>>73785935
>oil reserves
>oil
>2017

lmao, if they sell it all they might be able to afford an MRI machine

>>73785880
You've never heard someone call an eyetie a dago?

>>73785969
rich arabs/emirate royalty

take the piss

>>73786023
yeah but how to they give off enough legitimacy

>>73785419
love em unless they're catholic of muslim

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5F_AMVNz-0

decent fillum watched it today

making money from cryptocurrency lads x

got crabs from a black girl once

serves me right I guess

>>73786047
>>73786044

Keep it on topic

>arabs without oil reserves
>smelly tan Irishmen

>arabs with oil reserves
>smelly tan Irishmen who own footie clubs

>>73786067
get permabanned again ulster?

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>>73786057
burn the coal pay the toll

>>73786037
I think a lot of the submissions are genuinely arab royalty, I've seen stuff in the past where they talk about booking these girls in the past

https://twitter.com/abcnews/status/854179852097802240

the white man marches on

>>73785978
He had an affair with Diane Abbott.
How left do you need to be to get a hard on for that thing.

>>73786096
this is the janitor, do not trust him

>>73785848
Fucking right

>>73786096
taigs need not apply

>>73786103
why are you so slow at reading news?

why are you going through tweets from over 24h ago?

>>73785722
Australians unironically call rugby "footy"

Or maybe that's just New Zealanders

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>>73786099

i've never had fosters, but i've heard it's quite popular in britain. is it really as bad as every australian says it is?

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>you will never be rich enough to buy any girls for a few nights

>>73786139
nothing wrong with that

>>73785577
have never heard "wog" referring to people other than black people

>>73785748
are you the lad who used to post from the beanbags at york uni?

>>73785577
I thought wog was for Jamaicans?

>>73786139
Neither of us fucking do, you mong.

Right, I'm gonna pop my finger in someone's stinker today. Reply to me so I can find your location

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currently at work and on my 10 minute break

>>73786139
we do
Queenslaners and NSWmen call league footy, and the rest of australia calls afl footy

>>73786139
afl isn't normal ruggers m8

>>73786139
new south welshman and queenslanders call rugby league footy
footy in the other half means aussie rules
union never gets called footy

>>73786147
its absolute shite
i reckon ulster loves a few cans of it before bed. Would explain why he wakes up smelling of piss every morning

>>73786147
it's just tasteless piss, anyone can enjoy it

what's the strongest polyhedron?

>>73786197
droll post

Which one of you young men wants to meet up for a quick chat?

think bruce is having a meltdown

>>73786202
is it anything like budweiser? because i'd consider that the gold standard of piss

>>73786203
*slaps bellend on table*
THIS

>>73786194
>union never gets called footy
yes it does here you troglodyte,

>>73786194
>>73786177
>Queensland and New South Wales
Fucking disgusting

>>73786177
That's sort of changing but in general terms it's still true.
"Footy" will mean whatever's on on Saturday night, even if the only thing on is SBS wog pooftahball

"burn the coal pay the toll" gets some funny results on google images

>>73786272
like hot chips and cold chips :3

>>73786235
never tried budweiser so I wouldn't know

it has a very inoffensive taste whereas a lot of beers have a strong flavour like guinness or john smiths. if beer was juice, fosters would be like drinking squash

>>73786263
wasn't speaking for nz

>>73786236
would you care to take it apart and show me what the net is like?

>>73786272
nobody ever calls soccer footy unless they're fresh off the boat ex-yugos who just learned english

>>73786264
league is shit but Queensland is the best state

>>73786147
They have over priced tins of dutch gold in dublin. it's stinking and yet, still preferable to foamy fosters.

>>73786278
will just have to trust you because I won't be adding that to my GCHQ paper trail

>>73786236
Hi, where are you from and do you wanna meet up for a quick chat?

>>73786297
>larger
>stout
>bitter
apples and oranges... and bananas m8

>>73786312
>Queensland is the best state
That's a weird way to spell Western Australia

>>73786278
lol too true

>>73786307
7th state la

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Might get my hair cut lads.

>>73786264
Australia might as well not even exist without NSW and QLD, we're the alpha males in this relationship

i like beer and cider

did the crypto-nonce just fucking reply to me?

>>73786177
That's pretty fascinating

So NZers call union footy, QLD/NSW call league footy and the rest of Australia call NRL footy?

I just remember my school had a NZ rugby team school over here for a few weeks and everybody took the piss out of them for saying footy, literally only how I remember it

*looks in the old Rhyming Slang Dictionary*

shall sow & reap for the old camel's tit right proper, "guv"

>>73786344
I will take our chances without the far east, thanks

>>73786351
*licks closed the envelope containing your medal*

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>>73786312
>tfw suncorp is another home venue for the kiwi teams

>>73786336
Who?

>>73786351
Me too, we should meet up for a chat?

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>cider

>>73786351
I do too.
Shan't be drinking vodka again, either.

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>Australia might as well not even exist without NSW and QLD, we're the alpha males in this relationship

>>73786365
>and the rest of Australia call NRL footy?
AFL* and that half also for the most part doesn't know there's two forms of rugby

>>73786360
who's the crypto nonce

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>>73786336
kek
YOU live in a literal desert

>>73786365
nrl is national rugby league, which is the main league compition in Australia and NZ, mostly in NSW and Qld
AFL is Australian Football League which is the main Aussie rules comp popular in Victoria and the rest of the country

>>73786419
Actually it's a forest around here.

>>73786381
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFi2mT9G65A

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next post is THE new gimmick lads

"Western" "Australia"

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>>73786340
yeah but i don't know much of your lingo
>mfw a kiwi calls thongs jandals near me

The British Labour & Conservative parties are as red, white & blue as each other. Two imperialist peas from the same pod

>>73786477
not a fan of this gimmick

>>73786477
good gimmick

hmm

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>"Do you watch to footy, mate?"
>"Nah not anymore"
>"Oh you a Fremantle fan too"

>>73786500
found the out-of-work destitute miner lads

>>73786511
can you explain the heave ho unna meme to me

>>73786535
No clue wtf you're on about cunt

>>73786511
>anymore

FOY

>>73437462
stfu retard

>>73786460
kek
at least most of the fobs moved to qld in their youth unlike inglis

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There goes the Lib Dems, good effort lads.
https://youtu.be/VNA3-YntZk4

>>73786272
>wog pooftahball
australians are so cute

>>73786486
jap sandals = jandals

easy

>>73786553
>FOY
Nice try, Raj

>>73786583
the world cup is torture when all the bogans try to discuss it

>>73786583
blushing rn

>>73786552
this guy in the AFL threads in /sp/ always posts a picture of an abo wearing a fremantle hat with the caption "HEAVE HO UNNA"
this meme has evaded me for a while and I'm too scared to ask the big strong Australians to explain

>Australian medics treated Iraqis hit by Islamic State chemical attack, Defence says
but the news told me it was Assad using chemical weapons

>>73786630
>watching the news
alri pa?

>>73786630
shhh you'll trigger that one fat autist and he'll start spamming pictures of kurds

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>>73786595
good post

>>73786603
I think "heave ho" is part of the Freo club anthem.
Also our boongs (Noongars) are renowned for being fucking awful.

Otherwise I have no clue.

>>73786595
bit racist but I wouldn't put anything above the kiwis

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-39639704

>>73786564
>Where is Redcliffe?
That's in Redcliffe!
>Where is Redcliffe?
That's in Redcliffe!

rugby runts are worse than soccer runts 2bh

love pints

>>73786700
found the false-flagging wog

love pints

>>73786700
how
is it because in Australia it's an upper class sport

ausgaylia

>>73786738
hate the wife

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>why yes i do follow a sport that is essentially yank football without the padding and features players mostly of pacific islander descent

>>73786736
afl m8

>>73786750
wasn't aussie rules invented by malnourished abos running around the desert

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>rugby runts are worse than soccer runts 2bh

>>73786689
yeah just read this actually dyou think im fucking stupid or something silly cunt

>>73786351
you cunt

>>73786342
fuk off

>>73786278
apples and oranges... and bananas m8

>>73786044
stfu
>>73786044
stfu
>>73786044
stfu
>>73786044
shut the fuck up bitch

>>73785590
nobody gives a cunting fuck

>>73786786
yeah you too fuck off mate

Shan't be following you cunt's into the next thread

new
>>73786834
>>73786834

>>73786783
read this post but didn't think much of it

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>>73786750
Must say I did enjoy the lesbian tournament this year