/brit/

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/balt/

>>71984180
>You can't ask people that you know what they're listening to chap
what do you mean by this

i get sad whenever i see pictures of beautiful women because i know that they would look upon me with disgust and find me so revolting as to never want to even have a cursory glance of me again

that hurts deep down it really does

>he isn't preparing for the collapse of society

imagine being this stupid

got a pounding headache

anyone remember that gta sa song that goes like "ooo ooo ah ah yeah yeah"?

>>71984253
>>71984253
I'll just kill you and steal your shit

the fact is, a runt like you can prepare all you like and you'll still get done

predatory motherfucker such as myself will be in my element

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>>71984252
I wish Eva would hold me

>>71984252
me too haha x
don't even think im that bad looking, but when I picture having sex I'm a bit disgusted by the idea of how i'd look naked. Think i might have a touch of the ol' 'ody 'ysmorphia as I lift a lot and am in good shape

Mirrors don't make you look better they just invert the image

>predatory motherfucker such as myself will be in my element
was going to hat this but i just cannot imagine that an actual real person would unironically type this

>>71984315
reddit

>>71984323
Your brain filters out the shit parts of your face

Feel too boring, have no friends

>>71984346
>3 years later the hatposters start to show the first signs of awareness
>what could this mean?

>>71984312
Just move the mirrors and you won't have to look at your disgusting body while you have sex xx.

>tfw ugly and avoid uglier people

So this is how normies feel like

>>71984351
that's twitter you mong

>>71984312
i'm truly hideous looking a genetic abomination

>>71984393
ummm slightly rude???
I thought /brit/ was a bodyposi general????

Ah Northern doctors ...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39183998

>>71984368
What about photos of your reflection?

Brits and French are similar

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PUNCTURED TESTICLE
ON A HILLSIDE DESOLATE

>>71984454
ah yes the runt who makes assblasted posts about northerners every single day of his life

is being a thin-wristed ponce the only thing you have going for you lmao?

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lads

Do you have anything that is near half as beautiful as this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYwpUt0JoMc

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sometimes i think it would be better to be dead

1. flag
2. im about to get some chinese take-out!!!!!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39187265

DEY DINDU NUFFIN

DEY POLICE OPPRESSIVE. GIB SHORTER SENTENCES

just finished the last of the peanut bag :(

>>71984442
Nothing wrong with having a disgusting body hun. We're 100% /bodyposi/

>>71984280
i'd like to see you try you skinnyfat little runt, i'd put you in the fucking ground

DAILY DOSE LADS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmLfCHF3skk

>>71984511
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAkPbXwsii4

now an intern in the private eye, the intelligent brilliance would make /pol/ seethe with confliction.

>>71984495
I live in Wigan

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>>71984522
here's a game for you.

Go on to the BBC website at any time and see that they don't have at least 3 Tumblr-esque headlines as their top ten stories.

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Favourite YouTuber?

idubbbz here

>>71984550
Is this the mayne streem meteor lad?

>>71984565
im so witty that i misread "intelligent" as "belligerent" because my brain auto corrected your shitpost into an alliterative pun

>>71984624

>97 year old sister die after falling over
>the absolute state of pensioners

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>>71984564

>>71984542
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ahahhahaha

What does brexit mean?

>>71984636
MDE

>>71984566
ah yes the londoner defence

>>71984655
sorry

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sf5al-jQtfY

the breakdown is quite nice hahah

>>71984670
Whatever you want it to.

If you're a werking clarse oik it means less foreign looking people around.

>>71984442
>bodyposi
>>71984541
>bodyposi
what

they haven't filtered boipucci have they?

>>71984407
alri 't

interesting concept for posting as performance art, here's what the post would look like:
>On all levels except physical, I am [my actual name which is doxxable]
it's an ultimate triumph of will and it raises interesting questions about who we really are and our relationship to eachother through "memes"

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Demetrius I (Greek: Δημήτριος Α΄) was a Greek king (reigned c. 200–180 BC) of Gandhara.

He was never defeated in battle and was posthumously called "the Invincible".

He conquered extensive areas in what is now Afghanistan and Pakistan

Demetrius I was also known as the second Alexander.

By ca 175 BC, the Indo-Greeks ruled parts of northwestern India.

The Indo Greek presence in the Northwest continued until the last petty principality was absorbed by the Sakas around 20 BC.

Buddhism flourished under the Indo-Greek kings.

>>71984722
baka

'g 'n 'o 'e 's, 'e 't 'g?

On all levels except physical, I am Josie Hearn

>>71984722
desu

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what happens here?

>>71984758
cigaretto

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Why do Londoners commit so much crime? Why can't they just behave?

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>>71984765
BRAVA, BRAVA

>>71984801
city life is bad for human mental health

On all levels except physical I am check my digits

greater london is from the North but moved to London many years ago

titty

>>71984784
very lovely warm summers, nice countryside, good people, beaches, marshes. The trade off for that is very bleak winters.

The idea of concerts are so alien to me

Can't imagine ever going to one, such a normie thing

'alri 'd, 't 'l 't 'e 'n?

>>71984765
looked this person up and they are a pure normie, doubt you are them

if you are ugly then in the eyes of others you are not human, you are merely a nuisance

>>71984899
sf[rqpi;

>>71984857
Winters are fine as long as you're not by the coast. 20/25 min walk away is far enough to stop most winds and salt spray

Can't post fast enough to fedora all this tripe being posted right now

>>71984919
What the fuck are you trying to say Hernandez

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4QBRgyitFs

/brit/: the musical

>>71984857
>bleak winters
>in the south

softie detected

>>71984875
Take some LSD and MDMA with ya

>>71984927
im on the north kent marshes, they're pretty grim round here. I don't even mind the cold i just wish we at least got snow or something rather than just darkness and rain

>>71984927
your mum likes my salt spray though x

>>71984961
Imagine if his mum was dead

Had 3 wanks today, to the following:

1. Thai ladyboys
2. Heterosexual fantasy hentai
3. Gay twink porn

Rate my selections

>>71984909
fonc

>>71984784
BIG
KENTISH
COUNTIES

>>>/wsg/1558251

Starting to worry about Auslards lads.

The weather in Britain is the same wherever you go you mongs.

what the fuck are bears

they're like weird hunter gatherer humans that are still (mostly) on all fours and they have claws

>bought battlefield 1 premiun
>took so long for the DLC to come out I got bored of the game

pantsu on head retarded

>>71984997
it's like hearing diogenes himself, he spaketh through you wise one

>>71984278
bit late but here you go
madchester acid house classic lad
https://youtu.be/emDEFtJIjy0

>>71984996
>WEATHER IS NOT THE SAME AS CLIMATE
t. Year 7 geography teacher

>>71984981
1. gay
2. gay
3. gay

>goes down to 10 degrees
>better wrap up tight tarq! this winter going to be a rough one tee hee!

>>71984981
wanking to 1 now
did a sexually charged think at work about 3 before
shan't be partaking in 2

>>71985051
aren't you a little young to be a teacher?

just ordered some condoms on the 'zon

shall be treating myself to a few poshies over the next little while

*plays anime*

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>>71985057
cannot imagine the state of the northern mind that you take pride in living in an utter shithole

>someone uses a four syllable word
>cry because me 'ed 'urts

>>71985090
>>71985084
fuck off racists

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>>71985057
>-2 yesterday
>65 today

>>71985039
thanks

you know any other tunes that sound like that?

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Wish I were a cute maid

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>tfw used up all my condoms having sex and can't have a posh wank

life is hell

>>71985110
IN ENGLISH DOC

>>71985084
kek

I doubt your femme brain can think of much other than perfume, conditioner and the latest blouse to buy at topman

>>71985152
>blouse at topman

everyone laugh at this stupid mong

>>71985122
I'm a virgin and scared of buying a condom because if it doesn't fit me I'll hang myself

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pretty hungry, gotta get some food

EEE'OP YUH SOFT SOTHERN BASTARDS HAHA AH DON'T EVEN MIND WHEN IT GETS TO -30 ROOND HERE AND I CAN'T EVEN AFFORD THE 'EATING IN ME COUNCIL FLAT!
by the way i am 17 years old but i still care VERY much about what margaret thatcher did because no one in my family can read so we don't know what else has happened in the last 30 years cos fuck all happens here

>>71985152
>topman
HAHAH Northern ape

>>71985183
don't know what the rest of the day i'll do

>>71985112
just search up early 90s acid house
example
https://youtu.be/igF4IqI50h4

>>71985171
how bigs ur willy bro

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This is deep

>>71985169
don't tell me what to do

>>71985152
see?
>ha ha you soft poof i would MUCH rather be doont' mines diggin' coal with a pickaxe reet up me arse, but i suppose that's not GOOD enough for you soft southerners?

>>71985194
>>71985169
muh IQ is atleast 40 points higher than both of you triggered pawns

>>71985210
5 inches

>>71985210
From my thumb to my forefinger I only just cover the nail.

Length is about 7 (and a bit)

southermers are seething again

is waitrose out of hummus or something

>>71985189
INCREDIBLE post

>>71985223
*applies make-up to accentuate the cheekbones*

>>71985252
they got bantered out and are properly insecure about their lack of masculinity as you can see by their posting

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>>71985233
>atleast

>>71985252
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VeCzg5u56B

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>>71985252
i live in new england but i'm considered a southerner latitudinally speaking

>>71985282
>>71985252
laughing me tits off at these

>>71985308
northerners never made it across the atlantic because they insisted boats were for poofs

>>71985291
I am better than you in every conceivable way and we both know it lel

>>71985301
can literally hear your capillaries bursting from rage

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wow.... Really makes me think

petty
english
squabbles

@71985301
shan't be opening

can only imagine the levels of projection you are on though lad

>>71985337
no please listen to it i think it's one of my funniest posts x

>>71985357
quite amusing

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>>71985346

need to spaff

>HOUSES? ALREET YOU FOOKIN PONCE HAHA, NO MATE I JUST LIVE UNDER CORROGATED IRON AND PLASTIC SHEETING IN A FIELD, IT'S ALL I NEED MATE COS IM A MAN

gonna be renting a place in a uni town on st paddys day with the lads, hopefully ill score

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>>71985382

http://www.strawpoll.me/12479112
http://www.strawpoll.me/12479112
http://www.strawpoll.me/12479112

@71985383
imagine being this mad because you got made for wearing womens beauty products

calm down lad was just having a laff ahah

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Gonna stick some of this in the Aeropress soon, anyone want a cup? x

lads there's a party up at Schindler's tonight and I'm on his A list

should i go?

>>71985439
no it is all in banter tbf, i actually quite like northerners :)

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reminder that even non-Americans can be Chattahoochee. Being Chattahoochee is a state of mind, not geography
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW5UEW2kYvc

>Stayed over at my Manc friend's house once
>Wanted to brush my teeth
>He called me a poof

Is dental hygiene a trait of homosexuality up narf?

>>71985489
would chill with Rawhide tbqh

>>71985502
I hate these fuckers, they dig so many god dam holes.

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I hurt myself
Today

>>71985481
okay I'm glad we could end this amicably

have a nice night

>>71985516
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgvR3y5JCXg

>>71985523
*sets my alarm to 5 hours 59 minutes from now*

>>71985543
I lied.
I hope you fuckers die.

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business idea: the chicken connoisseur but instead of a 23 year old black lad that looks 14 it's a 21 year old white lad that looks 14 (me) and instead of reviewing chicken i review ladyboy porn

>>71985555
please do not imitate me in future. I quite like northerners and am able to have banter with them without getting angry, like you >:(

extremely ill

>>71985555
oh okay

well in that case I never really cared for your opinion in the first place

Mandatory viewing for all yanks ITT

https://vimeo.com/16724719

>>71984823
physical too

people wo live in cities have lower life expectancies and higher rates of cancer than people who don't live in cities

>>71985555
>>71985578
samefag

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>stayed over at friend's house in London once
>whip out my electric toothbrush
>he calls me a filthy kuffar for not using a miswak, a traditional Islamic toothbrush made from a stick

bit weird I thought

>>71985504
nah you just got tricked into not brushing your teeth

haha wheeeey look at old yellow teeth over here haha someone get this lad some aquafresh and a bit of listerine quick before he stinks the whole gaff out with his breath haha waheeeeeeeeeey x

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>>71985611

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>>71985596
>vimeo

When I hear northerner this is the only thing that comes to mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdObncC8FUo

>>71985632
Jesus christ

>>71985632
imagine taking a big bite out of it

>>71985632
I like this

>>71985632
w-what is it

http://www.strawpoll.me/12479192

http://www.strawpoll.me/12479192

http://www.strawpoll.me/12479192

>>71985735
horse got its hoof ripped off
those are nerve endings near the top, not hairs

>>71985504
that's a salford thing
it's essentially banter

>>71985735
a hoof without the hoof

>>71985735
some veterinary procedure involving removal of a horse's hoof

What's uni life like lads is it a meme

Got a level (Irish version) in June and not sure if I'm added studying if unis going to be shite

Should I just start my own business

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too sleepy to read with much retention

>>71985788
>>71985786
>>71985780
wish i didn't ask

>>71985565
>when bald man shags them without a condom

>>71985796
uni life is fun but you don't necessarily have to be at uni to do that

also if you don't like people/getting drunk/doing stuff then you'll not fit in

Got ear ache lads

>>71985565
I'll watch it

socked a pig in the head

>>71984981
Can never find any good twink porn. Everyone is always too masc

downloaded another few books onto my kindle
(for free of course)

>>71985837
People are OK, drinking ok, what does doing stuff entail

>>71985883

cunt

>>71985908
going out to shitty clubs and bars and pretending that you're having a good time

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>>71985839
turn it off and back on again

>>71985908
getting cucked by ths somalian exchange student

>>71985907
how doin it and that

the lavender town music from pokemon dubstep remix

this is a tune for the ages lads

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>>71985813
fucking christian

he ruins everything

>Just realized my secondary reunion is this year

I doubt anyone went to theirs here but for those who did how awkward was it?

>>71985994
>secondary reunion

oh no that's not a thing is it

>>71985917
don't understand how you can't have a good time going out getting drunk in clubs unless you are a depressive or angry drunk

>>71986024
I say everything on my mind when im drunk

would rather go to the pub and get proper knackered than go to a club aka runt trap

my willy is only about 5 inches. how do I compensate for this

the pub is for autists

>>71985917
Is it easy to make friends

Should I go to unis with people I know and live with them or get accommodation with strangers and try to meet new people

>>71986052
>Is it easy to make friends
Nigh impossible

>>71986047
wear a chastity cage and dress up as a girl, be of more use using yer 'ole

>>71985994
how many years?

>>71985908
>doing stuff
Depends. For the average person that means drinking and parties but if you look around you might find people doing plenty of interesting stuff on campus. For example, mountaineering or the LARP club.
>>71985994
15 people turned up to my grades first one out of 150

>>71986052
I'd say it's quite easy to make friends
student accommodation with strangers in your first year might be worth a shot so long as you're proactive

>>71985978
lad try listening to lavender town played backwards........
top spoop


>>71985994
are you like 50? honestly did not think this was a thing outside the united states

>>71986047
buy a strapon dick extender so the girl can at least feel something. i'd reccomend the 3 or 4 inch model if you're really that small

just levelling up on rock crabs at the moment brethren

>>71986075

I left in 07 and supposedly everyone is ten years or so.

>>71986080
I don't think I'm fooling anyone with one of those. they will know it is plastic

>>71986047
use your pelvic bone to stimulate the clitoris and penetrate from a low angle in missionary or do doggystyle with the girls knees together to hit the G'spot and maximise friction

t. watched sexcetera

>>71986037
tbf i do this as well

i also make up ridiculous lies, last time i went out i claimed that my cousin was a gangland boss, then later in the night i pretended to get a phonecall from my mum telling me that he'd been murdered, i have no fucking idea why

needless to say my mates think i'm weird now

>>71986047
there's literally nothing wrong with 5 inches

>>71985994
>tfw even if there was a reunion for mine i wouldn't get invited

everyone would forget about me. i didn't go to prom either

post jazz

>>71986111
It's not to fool her, you should be open about it. It's just a better experience for her so she doesn't get bored feeling the bare minimum of your measly todger

>>71986111
of course you won't fool anyone but that's not the point the point is so the girl can feel good

my gf got me one

>>71986066
If I can't get student accommodation but end up in a house with only a handful of people will it still be easy to make friends

The average is 5.5? I though it was 4. This is concerning

>>71986153
would kill the mood a bit if you're doing it for the first time

If you could roll a dice, and the result of a 1 is incurable blindness, but 2-6 was £1 million, would you do it?

>>71986117

>Tfw didn't even get asked to the leavers meal in Sixth Form
I take it that was a fucking bad sign then

>>71986122

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtiSA2RKDzc

>>71986171
Don't just whip it out in the moment. Talk about it beforehand so that she is prepared for it

>>71986163
yeah you'll be fine

you'll have people on your course anyway, they should be good friends (assuming it's not just a course full of mature students who all have part time jobs and wives and kids and shit)

>>71986097
can firmly say I shall never be going to a school reunion

5 wacky things about me:
1. I like pizza
2. I listen to songs over and over again until I get tied of them
3. I love looking at the night sky
4. I don't even have a favourite genre of music. I like all types!
5. I love having conversations with my friend up until 5am where we just talk.

>>71986187
no

shit odds

10 million and I'd do a big strong consider

if I rolled 1 I could just kill myself anyway so no biggie

off to sleep lads
hope i never awaken

>>71986219
all me

>>71986187
I wouldn't but you could get everyone to eventually accept your bet if you adjust the odds.

why are they remaking mary poppins

>>71986188
>free jazz
trash

>>71986169
holy shit I remember Elliot Rodger made a post like this on that bodybuilding website and I pissed myself.

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>>71986256
haha

>>71986256
no thanks

>>71986256
what did we do to deserve this

>>71986256
aren't we also nazis because of brexit though

>>71986251
$$$$$

>>71986219
you wacko!

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reminder

>>71986187
I would and then if I got a 1 I'd just run away from whoever was going to blind me

bit dead

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>>71986262

did a sex with the chinese gf
think i might be riddled with stis

http://www.strawpoll.me/12479361

http://www.strawpoll.me/12479361

>>71986343
okay now is this real or did you edit this?

I thought his was along the lines of "It's 6? I thought it was 5.5" or some shit.
There's no way he ACTUALLY thought the average was 4.

The chinese average is higher than that.

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>>71986262
I laugh every time i see a picture of him. It's always either smug or autistic

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>tfw i have good length but had girth

I'll never please a woman

Why do people who like Game of Thrones act like liking it is some massive secret they can't tell anyone else? This whole faux nerd fad pisses me off.

>>71986377
it's real and 4 inches is the average size in india

>>71986377
Na, it's real.

I think the average in the UK is 5.3 when measured by nurses and not self anecdotes. Self anecdotally it's 6 IIRC.

I'm pretty sure half of /cum/ posters are homosexual, or at least, bicurious

>>71986362
shan't be voting until you add some realistic sizes in here

>>71986411
because the show is shit

>>71986422
fuck off black man

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hello?

>>71986401
I know that exact feel. 7.5" long (just a hint short of optimal), but only 5.1" girth.

>>71986343
phucking red

>>71986414
yeah but who's gunna have a throb on when some nurse is pressing a ruler on your willy

>>71986362
>inches
FOY

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>>71986401
>tfw ideal dick

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>>71986413
>1 billion people have 4 inch penises
Really makes you think

I could give her the time of her life.

GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrBREXrrrBREXrrBREXBREXBREXrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRBREXITBREXBREXBREXITRRRRRRRROWROWROWROWgrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrBREBREBREBREBREBEREBRBEXrrrrrBREXITrrrrrROWrrROWROWROWgrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

>there are people that have large flaccid penises

surely that's just impractical?

>>71986436
ok

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reminder that if you date women you're mentally ill

>>71986401
>tfw pencildick

>>71986456
I'm 5.5" flaccid (14cm) and I have to buy low rise jeans, and compression shorts for when I exercise.

Even still, my dick hangs into my left leg sleeve in pants and gets squished every time I take a step forward.

Keep getting an odd sensation like I'm on a boat.

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*shoots u*

>>71986456
only black people have large flaccid penises

>>71986486
Get tighter jockey straps my man, I manage with a 5.1

>>71986518
that's why I wear this bulletproof vest at all times

burned my brothers childhood paintings as revenge for telling my parents i did something that he did

>>71986606
Child

>>71986618
haha yeah i was 8-9 at the time

>>71986570
*stabs you with the bullet*

>>71986626
Good thing you're 18 now.

◼◾◽◽◽◾◼▫⬛▪*⤵⤴↗↙↩◀⏭⏩⏹⏹⏸▶78⏹1⁉

>>71986401
>satisfying

i'll take it

anyway I always finish off with eating her out and i'm pro at that

>>71986626
you were minus 1?

>>71986632
that's why I wear this stabproof vest at all times

>>71986655
*strangles you*

>>71986645
Worst post in this thread.
Worst post of all time arguably.

>>71986663
that's why I wear this strangleproof neck brace at all times

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>>71986401
>11 inches with 7.25'' girth is enjoyable

What hooahs were asked?

still unsure as to what bears are

>>71986685
*reveals that you'll never have a gf*

>>71986700
too late

are there any photos of tim farron holding milk? asking for a mate

>>71986686
I'm skeptical of the entire thing 2bh

doing a very big wank

dya reckon you can give someone an sti from having unprotected sex with them?

>>71986748
me also

>>71986696
the animal or the clade of homosexual

>>71986748
Pretty sure it's a small wank mate

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>>71986748

>>71986748
>>71986766
me too, it's real wankin' hours

>>71986786
rude

>>71986748
ive already had 4 wanks today (all to gay porn but im actually straight), so i wont be joining you

>>71986823
me on the far left

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>>71986256
can't wait to feel her fanny

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sound advuce

>>71967939
>>71967939
>>71967939
new>>>>>>>

>>71986864
>>71986864
>>71986864

>>71986872
too late, kiddo. posted mine first.

>>71986833
good no benders allowed

>>71986886

fuck off pat mustard

>>71986686
>>71986746
>thinking its real
dear boy..