/brit/

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cara

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the bf

any films lads?

i made the first thread of 2017 and the first thread of trumps presidency

plymouth is actually an alright place

>>71583631
500 Days of Summer

is tower hamlets harder than brixton

the sound of heartbeats makes me uncomfortable.

How much longer is the Labour movement going to put up with its utterly useless, shambolic & frankly embarrassing leadership?

wrote a song for yous lot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcHtepXnfWg

im rude im rude don't fuck up my mood

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLhlSiCk0ME

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26UowqZ2J_o
made this just for you JanMan x

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free world boss

>>71583646
I lived in tower hamlets for a year and never had any issues. Was in the proximity when some people pulled knives on eachother once but I left with no issue. Dunno about brixton

>>71583646
Both equally soft compared to anywhere north of Luton (possibly excluding Wales).

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The Four Noble Truths

1. Ordinary life brings about suffering
2. The origin of suffering is attachment
3. The cessation of suffering is attainable
4. Suffering can cease, by following the Eightfold Path

hmmm

http://i.4cdn.org/g/1487956209893.jpg

honestly was not expecting stormzy's album to be so impressive
very emotional record

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>>71583721
Norf Lundun mentioned

>>71583695
honestly why is it that australians consistently make the best posts on this thread

>>71583716
I was at that pizza express the other week.

>>71583716
imagine seeing him walk into pizza express

>>71583659
does it remind you of your own mortality

>>71583631
manchester by the sea

>>71583640
'dit

>>71583753
no.

Haven't had pizza in ages. Might spend a cheeky tenner on a takeaway delivery. I'm getting excited just thinking about it.

Would a delivery guy judge me if I answered the door in a dressing gown and smelling of ballsweat? I tip at least £1.50.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ITthPX6igY
janny when he sees an anime nonce

>>71583744

Literally bred into them

Watched that Jessica Jones Marvel telly series.

was alright

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https://youtu.be/FG1NrQYXjLU

Forgot how much I loved this song.

>>71583631
the dark knight rises

>>71583734
why did you post this as a link LOL

>>71583631
kodak

>>71583631
Bicentennial Man

>>71583744
They're born #OUTLAWS

someone i haven't spoken to for 2 years just messaged me lads

>>71583815
good film 2bh

just messaged someone i haven't spoken to in 2 years lads

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fucking crying

https://youtu.be/OP30okjpCko

>>71583836
Mr Popular is here..

if im ever prime minister cigarettes will be made £1 a 10 deck and £2 a 20 deck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjyiD75a5NQ
new gimmick: writing ballads dedicated to Janny

here's my contribution

>>71583836
happened to me the other day
who is it and why did they message you x

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>ywn rise through the ranks in the underground Tokyo underground drift scene

https://youtu.be/LG5TrVOU0Ug

You lads going out tonight?

just made dinner

>>71583857
reckon that bloke isn't a proper plumber

>>71583857
thats what you get when you send the poles out

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Just reading some takeaway reviews on Just Eat.

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>>71583857
>when he just shrugs and walks out

>>71583857
>not turning the water off at the mains before doing plumbing work

hmmm

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>>71583802
Why would I save an image and reupload it when it is already on the servers and everyone (who isn't autistic) has hover-to-view enabled?

>>71583857
What a fucking moron why didn't he run to turn the mains water off?

My kitchen tap popped off one day and the water came blasting out, had to run outside to turn the water off.

*styles on you*

>>71583966
>Landlord calls plumber who foolishly tries to repair a leak without first turning the water off. He did not want to pay the $150 water shut-off fee and instead causes thousands in damage to two apartments.

http://www.strawpoll.me/12409558

http://www.strawpoll.me/12409558

http://www.strawpoll.me/12409558

>>71583967
fuck you

>>71583966
I've never even heard of plumbing before today and I know to do this.

>>71583646
tower hamlets is full soft tryhard bengalis
bits of brixton have been gentrified but it's still by far the roughest part of london, estates like angelltown are literally 3rd world dystopia-tier. the whole area of clapham, brixton, camberwell and peckham is dangerous.

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>>71583986
>>71583966
>tfw I don't know where my stopcock is

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>>71583857
>that steam coming off the water

must have been fucking boiling

rekon the entire leicester team were on stamina enhancing PED's last year 2bh

>>71583857
i'm no plumber but i think turning off the mains is rule 1 when fiddling with anything that has pressurised water running through it. Or electricity for that matter. This is how really stupid people are culled.

>>71583996
ah yes

>>71584043
between your legs you silly boy x

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>>71583944

>>71583592
I didn't understand this movie :^(

>>71583857

Holy fuck what an idiot

They probably tried to do it on the cheap and that's what they got lol

>>71583966
>>71583986
>>71584056
apparently it's a $150 fee, assume because they're in a flat he'd have to turn it off for all the flats?

>>71584021
let me guess, all those areas are predominantly black

>>71584076
do you have the one where the guy complains that they arrived too early when he was shagging his wife

>>71584090
are you a woman?

>>71584043
Normally under the kitchen sink, my stopcock is jammed that's why I have to go outside, open a little manhole cover on my driveway and twist a thing.
>>71584097
What's $150 fee? He's probably spent more than twice that on the water blasting out.

>>71584051
only PEDs are Vards needs is a can of red bull and a gram of ching

>>71584097
pretty bad building planning if that is the case. I think it's in Latin America though so maybe there are fuck all planning regulations

>>71584125
this is why i never have a wank right after i order anymore they're too fast nowadays

>>71583746
What did you order x

>>71584021
oh
i was in brixton for a week (had nowhere to sleep so i bummed a friends couch) and it was ok during the night
still looks rough though

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>>71584076

Just found out that the girl at work I stare lovingly across the room at and have a big crush on is """Romanian"""". What do lads?

>Trying to do work
>Neighbours kids next door are literally kicking on the walls
Might go their door, this is ridiculous.

>>71583914
you can already rise through the ranks of the underground uk drift scene
get an e36 and do mad skids bruh

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going to a hippy psy night tomorrow

>>71584056
To be fair when my mental housemate left the oven on without igniting it and went to bed, and then my mate went into the the kitchen to make a brew and smelled gas, he called me in saying "Stinks of gas in here, WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T TURN THE LIGHT ON" the first thing I did was turn the light on. Didn't even process what he'd said until I caught him staring at me.

>>71584100
not hard to guess, it's south london

might get a coffee

Touching my willy and other parts of me. x

>>71584162
Had the spiciest one on the menu, can't remember what it was called

>mfw it still wasn't that spicy

>>71583917
every event is canceled due to weather

>>71584186
>the first thing I did was turn the light on
you fucking gimp

>>71584205
Weird creep

>>71584209
diavolo?

>>71584150
yeah somehow mate I don't think he expected the water to come flying out

>>71584182
just remember when it's 02:30, your feet hurt, you're coming down off the dizzle and dreading the fact that you're still one £30 taxi away from being home that I will be tucked up snug in bed, nice and cosy

>>71584205
*forcibly inserts 3 fingers into your anus*

>>71584174

Joke that you fucked him and jizzed up his bum and say "when in romanian" then wink at her

Will put her right off the both of you, then you can stare at her again

>people getting competitive over who's shithole neighbourhood is less safe
creasing

*raids northern England*

>>71584166
brixton is generally ok if you stick to lit/nightlifey areas

it's surprisingly easy to accidentally wander onto estates though which is asking for troule

dinner was very very peng
grated carrots with orange sauce on them and feta

>>71584177
>>71583914
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vd4r83tZBBw
fun fact: this video is shot at like 2-3 am

>>71584226
Nah American hottest, is the diavolo hotter?

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>>71584076

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>Go on normiebook for first time in months
>Everyone is buying houses, having kids, getting careers etc
>I'm still paying board to my parents working a shit minimum wage job

I'm pulling the fucking trigger

>>71584214
I know. Didn't even process what he'd said until I caught him staring at me.

>>71584249
my shithole neighbourhood is the least safe

stay out you little poncey twat

*walks up to the till*

medium double double

*pays with tap*

>>71584182
he went shit after gangnam style

>>71584237
feet won't hurt if you won't stop dancing

>>71584262
is that it?

>>71584272
not sure 2bh.

this takeaway viral marketing is working well cos now i want to get a kebab

>>71584246
Your response doesn't really make sense desu, who is the 'him'? I only mentioned me and the girl

>>71584262
That sounds shit and nowhere near enough food, are you a sparrow?

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>>71584262
gayest dinner i've ever heard of

have a rack of ribs next time bud

it'll straighten you out

>>71584047
It's mist you fucking ape

This Icelandic bloke might be an actual Deanosson lads
hmm

50 sack in my sock i don't give a fuck

>>71584297
hahahaha

same

>>71584302
yeah i think i probably will stay away then mate thanks

>>71584097
$150 fee to do what? Turn of the mains? And unless you like in some shithole, flat should have their seperate mains taps, not only outside the building, but where the mains supplies vrious rooms. For instance, I can turn off the water to my bathroom, or kitchen, there is a stop tap in both. There is no way he couldn't have reasonable shut the water off from that pipe before carrying out the work.

My guess is, there was already a leak, he thought he could fix it by tightening whatever cap that was he had in his hand, when he tried started fucking around with it, it flew off. by the look of absolute terror on his face, i can also deduct he had not predicted the fire hydrant level water pressure under his sink.

A classic case of oversight, lack of foresight, stupidity and possibly some level of laziness.

>>71584313
nah eating an apple

>>71584322
nah it was peng

>>71584237
>implying
getting all cosy in bed after a night out dancing is maximum comfy levels

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>pizza express doesn't do dough balls with nutella anymore

off out on a beer run lads

want anything?

>>71584353
yeah I guess so, building must be owned by someone else so you have to pay a fee to switch the water off

I dunno

>>71584297
I'm buying a house soon, but I'm also a virgin. You win some, you lose some.

>>71584321

Didn't read, thought it was a love triangle with a romanian x lol

>>71584369
>sore feet
>knowing you will get a shit night's sleep because of the alcohol
>knowing you will be hungover and Sunday will be a write off

yeah max comfy there m80

*pushes and touches you until you get your satisfaction*

>>71584389
Curly Wurly and a can of Vimto

>>71584389
20 Marlboro reds and a copy of the latest NUTS

>>71584389
Hang on, let me get a pen and paper.

>monty python communist quiz
>the comments section

Fucking hell it's just people going 'Communism has never been tried!'

>>71584389
3 cases of slots classic
Can you get that in the uk?

big issue sir?

>>71584389
Haagen dazs salted caramel ice cream

>>71584427
you sound like the most boring cunt in the world

fuck off

who's the most famous british astronaut

>>71584484
No thanks I don't read it.

*dirty looks from all my mates*

wonder where all the homeless people go at night

>>71584484
Fuck off and get a job homeless prick

>>71584427
alcohol makes you sleep better

>>71584389
beeeeeeeeeeer

>>71584484
yeah cheers mate
*gives him £4*

>>71584517
under your bed

>>71584484

What did he mean by this

A flake is the patricians choice of chocolate bar

>>71584404
How much is the house? How much did you need for a deposit?

I've got like £15k sat in my account doing nothing.

>>71584464
ANSWER ME

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>>71584530
Don't ever reply to me again.

>>71584581
it's literally turkish delight

>>71584517
they hang out at night and snooze during the afternoon mostly

some of them go shelters but its mostly women, they don't let the druggies in

plus with all the pissed people about you get the best alms at night

level 2 on the sides and a good 2 inches on top

taper fade the back

morning all

>>71584585
Not telling. But you'll need about 5 - 10% minimum as a deposit and about 5 grand for stamp duty and solicitors fees. You might have enough depending on your area.

>>71584614
bender

>>71584614
Never in my life seen anyone under the age of 65 enjoy a turkish delight
Makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. Worse than black liquorice

>>71584581
Umm that's a weird way of spelling kinder Bueno

>>71584581

I'm a twix man myself

>>71584663
fuckin pleb

>>71584663
>he doesn't like black liquorice either
top plebian matey

turkish delight is delicious

*gf forces me to put her on my shoulders at a concert*

Fuck off

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>>71584581
nah

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I didn't know people 'round here talked like this.

>>71584663
Yeah it tastes like shampoo covered in chocolate.

>>71584663
that just means you've not had good turkish delight

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>>71584581
wrong

>>71584714
>wings were dead
Would he prefer them living?

*bumposts*

>>71584390
>This apartment complex requires a $150 fee per every 30 minutes to shut water off since each building must be shut off from water entirely. The water shut off valves are only accessible by the complex staff.
>LAND OF THE FREE

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is such bullshit. such fucking bullshit. i cant believe there's not government regulations in place to stop people getting fucked by totally avoidable shit like this. glad i live in a country actually pretty decent housing rights and regulations.

>>71584728
good turkish delight isn't a chocolate bar

>>71584737
>guaranteed to get honeycombe wedged into your molars

almost as bad as maltesers

Which one sounds better?

1. http://vocaroo.com/i/s1UklKFUrWfF
2. http://vocaroo.com/i/s1PvF4mkCwyG

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the runts parading outside

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>>71584758

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Hmm

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>i live in a country actually pretty decent housing rights and regulations.
>uk flag

chips were peak

>>71584794
both extremely shit

>>71584820
we do have pretty good regulations compared to the most of the world

>>71584820
tell me what's bad about tennants rights in the UK m8.

>>71584808
c'est un rebeu?

>>71584840
which one sounds less horrible then?

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BIG

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>we do have pretty good regulations compared to the most of the world

>>71584820
the UK would be a much better place if it never joined the EU

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oh thread so dead
and writhing in pain
arise
arise
to post again

why so quiet?

>>71584714
>4/6 stars
the fuck uses 6 stars?
also why 4/6 when it was such shit?

>>71584820
Go and live in wogistan for a bit where you can bribe everyone and you'll understand.

I'm one step closer to the edge

>>71584780
didnt think it was possible to dislike maltesers

are gypsies even human?

https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=152_1487933515

keep having to come up with excuses at work as to why i can't drink

don't want to tell them i'm on medication

>>71584869
nah he looks white
but he also looks like hes wearing swimming pool glasses. Smh

>>71584888
>i don't have an arguement or any real life experience so i'll green text with reaction pics

ah yes

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can you get this in the uk

>>71584926
no

why the fuck do brits treat the irish so bad? whats your problem with us?

want valium really badly

>>71584926
for what purpose is she screaming like that

>>71584643
>5 grand for solicitor fees.

Jesus fucking christ.

I mean I guess I've got enough for a nice bungalow or something.

>>71584964
>being bisexual isn't special enough anymore

Must be hard trying to stay on the cutting edge of taboo

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large meat pizza, garlic bread x4, wings x6 for 20 quid
r8

*farts near you*

*walks away and leaves the smell with you*

>>71584972
there literally isn't one. irish people here are treated just like anyone else, if not endeared in general. it's not the same the other way around for us in ireland though

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me having lunch yesterday lads x

>>71585021
pls stop

trying to diet

amazing how triggered you can make some people just by greentexting what they said and attaching a reaction pic.

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>>71584972

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>mfw I've never had penis-in-vagina sex

>>71585021
>31.49 for one meal

fat fuck

got bored of sim city

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In a little while
I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah it's gone

And I'm not here
This isn't happening

>>71583967
>not having 4chan X

>>71585021
Fat cunt
>>71585051
Fat cunt

>>71585011
they're eating their own tails at this point. just a couple more years until its over.

>>71585078
G A C H I M U C H I

>>71585059
You mean straight sex?

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>i don't have an arguement or any real life experience so i'll green text with reaction pics

>ah yes

>>71585021
how are you going to finish all of this mate

>>71585021
>meat pizza
grim

>>71585051
sorry m8
i should be too but its Friday night and im knackered

>>71584972
English people hate the Irish for good reason 2bh

>>71585109
post fucking machines

>>71585097
no you fucking bigot

>>71585075
Loved the jazzy trumpets on Sim City 4 ahah

can you ride a bicycle while you're drunk or is that drunk driving?

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>>71585078
tfw caught gf cheating on me with my best friend when I was 16 and walked 10 miles home at 4am listening to Kid A

that song always reminds me of that 8 years later

shan't be posting here anymore
you utter runts are too fast and no one is looking at my posts
*walks out*

>>71585069
3149kcal? Fucking hell

>>71585137
dont know or give a shit about leaf law.

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The gf

(love her with all my heart)

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said I wouldn't drink tonight but I polished off 6 tinnies of lager and just got back from the offy with 2 bottles of wine haha what am I like

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Cherry Ripe > Picnic > Flake > Bubbly > Dairy Milk > Boost > Dream > Caramello > Moro
fact

>>71585035
untrue

>>71585114
name one thing that wasnt a reaction to something the british had done first

*sprays air freshener around after the stinky aussie has left*
heh not even worth replying to his post

https://www.reddit.com/user/GallowBoob

ah yes

>>71585125
Penis-in-vagina is straight

Unless it was some weird situation where a gay man was given viagra and forced at knifepoint to sex a lesbian

Technically straight, but I suppose the duress would negate consent and we'd just agree to call it rape

But that's such extreme weirdness I don't know why you felt the need to bring it up

>>71584934
why would a white boy chimp out?

>>71585021
£15.99 for a pizza? Did you get it from Domino's? They saw you coming mate. I can get a good 16" pizza here for half that price.

Sounds tasty though.

Janny?

>>71585197

A tinny here is weed wrapped in tin foil x

Farage on Piers Morgan at 9 lads

>>71585207
>the british are evil

This is why we'll never like Paddies lad

did you lads watch are nige's cpac speech?

quite good

>>71585210
*braaaaap*

>>71585258
foy

>>71585174
*arrests you*

you sure care about leaf law now, don't you

*throws away the keys*

i'm having such a terrible migraine atm
i feel like i got stabbed in the right half of my head by some very dull object
i should probably turn off pc but i don't want to yet

>>71585245
Thanks for the reminder

>>71585147
*looks at your post*
ah yes

That's ASDA price!

*smack smack*

>>71585254
didnt say that anywhere
wouldn't expect a brit to truthful, they aren't known for their honour

>>71585292

*rubs your head gently*

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>>71585291

>>71585245
>>71585258
>company want to fly me out to NY to attend an event we're running and he's speaking at

going to 2 footed slide tackle him haha

SO gassed

>>71585307
post fucking machines

>>71585292
post goodnight lovely people and go to sleep la

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https://youtu.be/leQB4Icn3dc?t=32m56s

look at this fucking smug cunt

love him to bits

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HOW WILL I KNOW IF HE REALLY LOVES ME?

>>71585291
Willy is doing absolutely nothing

Come get your black bin bags
They're on offer till december
Come get your black bin bags
They're long and black and slender
Heavy duty black bin bags
No matter what your gender
Heavy duty black bin bags
If you're bi or straight or bender

I don't dislike the irish, In fact I quite like them

much better than southern/midlands english for sure

on 4chan however I do dislike the irish because you're all mean

case in point
>>71585317

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>>71585310
ITZ GUD TA TAWK

lads I've just concocted a cheeky new twist on a much loved gimmick

can't wait to deploy it

keep your eyes peeled

>>71584301
I can tell from that story and the way you repeated the last part of your first post in a second post, that you are a gormless tosser. No disrespect, i'm sure you're a nice lad and that, just a moron.

>>71584711
good lid

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HE'S HERE

>>71585357
I SAY A PRAYER WITH EVERY HEART BEAT

I find that "Englishmen" that like the Irish happen to be related to them most of the time

Having Indian atm lads

>>71585352
He could be PM desu, but doubt he wants to or would ever join a major party.

REALLY looking forward to the Lions tour

FUCK ME JANNY UNNHHH~

>>71585366
thats only because you hear what irish people actually think of the british on 4chan
most wouldn't be rude in public

>>71585414
looked at the quality of the picture, thought it was a gif without looking at the extention, clicked it, just more disapointment on a already disappointing day

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I live in the Flat Spracklen House building in Duke Place Marlow on the 1st floor. My name is Timothy James Byrne. I'm 47 years old. I believe in recording myself singing a balanced choice of artists and a rigorous video routine. In the morning, if my face is a little sweaty, I'll put moosey on bear death row while recording my morning youtube video. I have over twelve thousand now. After I record the video I upload it to my youtube channel. On Facebook I share a direct youtube link to my video, then upload a selfie, and on Twitter a media attachment of me and my guitar. Then I spy on the dentist which I do for 10 minutes while I prepare my afternoon video. I always wear a white shirt with a little bit of sweat stains, because sweat hydrates your face and makes you look shinier. Then I check the DPD truck, then a camera test followed by an oily moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Timothy Byrne. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

>>71585410
how did this even happen

>>71585021
1x tescoes pepperoni pizza €1

JANNY FUCK MY ASS WITH YOUR WARNINGS AHHHHH

>>71585329
that would've been nice (if you're a female)
>>71585348
that's not me

business idea: kick italy out the 6 nations and replace them with georgia

>>71585496
good call

>>71585367
I miss the old BT logo

>>71585419
theyre just more likely to be decent, likeable people most of the time

lots of english people seem to take pride in being complete twats

>>71585451
nah its just because 4channers are bitter autistic melts

>>71585486
>if your a female
Get a load of this bender

lost my keys REEEEEE

>>71585486
I am a female (boy)

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>>71585462
S-sorry. x

Is /u/Heknarf ITT?

>>71585207
>PLEASE LUV ME BRIT-KUN :33333

wind it in lad

>>71585408
My high score on an IQ test is 155.

*gets a load of that bender*

cool

>>71585516
young people here are a lot more republican than the last generation lad

>>71585539
Can you be my bf :3

>>71585565
dont want them to love just want answers to why they hate us
wind your neck in west brit

>>71585573
plastic paddies are delusional

there's no reasoning with them

I have lived in London for 3 (three) whole weeks and I am still alive. AMA

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>>71585512
Illuminati symbolism.

Imagine wanting to reunite with the south. Absolute state of them

>>71585612
>W-WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME BRITAIN SEMPAI

oooooh, very defensive aren't we ;) x

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>Irish infighting

haha quite drunk right now x
on my own though like a loser lol

Qt irish boys fighting pleases me sexually

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>>71585640

>>71585709
what does your bellend smell like?

>>71585471
the other urinal next to it is higher
so the piping is probably set up so the lower urinal fills up and overflows

new prim is up lads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ4KNMnTsIs

>>71585740
Ask yer mum she would know ;)

>>71585723
MICKED

>>71585670
Ce leis tú ar taobh?

>>71585740
Mackerel paste

>>71585789

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>sissy Irishboys fighting

Just as planned

>>71585740
skips

>>71585770
Wish I had a mick bf desu