/brit/

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cara

>>70396702
Quite possibly this 2bh

>>70396565
I had been up for 20-30 hours when out once, and had smoked with some mates before heading in to drink
By the time it was dark and we went outside for a fag, I was talking loudly to them about how I wanted to fuck this chick who we'd met inside (were sort of acquaintances at that point)
They didn't tell me until the next day the window was open and her family was sitting on the other side of it with her lmao

anime > cara

need a bf lads quite bad

business idea: wage nuclear war against the netherlands

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*enters thread*

Time for my mid-week wank

Odds gay porn
Evens straight porn
zero next picture itt

i used to wanna kill myself
came up still wanna kill myself

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hmmmm

why does Africa have so many nasty little bugs and diseases?

>>70396757
then get one you normie prick

why is everyone on 4chan obsessed with lying about themselves?

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>>70396789
We're ahit

>>70396746
I should add that I wasn't really in much of a state to stand at that point (probably having blackouts), but somehow made it home

Sean Spicehead

>>70396746
You posted this here a few months ago

could care less ya fucking sprout, wise up and handle your drink better i hate it when people act like spastics when they are fucked, just quiet the fuck down

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAx0t3O55Zo

Rate my meals today lads

Breakfast:
4 eggs with siracha
Cup of OJ
Nature Valley roasted nuts bar
50mg zinc

Lunch:
N/A

Dinner:
2 oven baked chicken breast drizzeled in steak sauce
Good portion of asparagus
Olive oil on both
Nature valley roasted nut bar

>>70396789
People do that everywhere lad m8

>>70396755
v rude post

>>70396763
>entering real nigga hours

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>>70396763
Urien mah man

Ahh yes, the """working"""" class.

>>70396834
shut up

president toilet bog fart

>>70396789
I think the more amusing thing is when I don't lie I get called a liar, manlets and dicklets will never learn.

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Going out for a 100% authentic and taxed pure Virginian tobacco "MG" cigarette

>fondling balls
>feel small lump on the scrote
>looks like a zit :S
>go to bathroom, squeeze the fucker
>solid white odourless matter emerges

The fuck was that? all gone now lads.

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why is he looking towards the camera?

>>70396807
it was years ago
you need to spend less time here you spud-munching twat

>"working" class
>most are on bennies
howling

>>70396818
>sriracha

desu all I've had today was some noddles with scrambled egg, a banana, and a cup of tea

>>70396818
it's good
rate mine
Breakfast/lunch:
Rockstar Punched Guava energy drink
Prawn Cocktail Crisps
Half a sausage

Dinner:
Nurofen
Goodfella's pepperoni pizza

I, Toilet Bog Fart, poo solemnly swear that I will fartfully excrement the Offpiss of Pooreshitdent of the Poonited Shites of Arsemericack, and will poo the best of my ability, pooserve, pootect and defend the Constipation of the Poonited Sharts, so help pee God.

>>70396875
Finally
i was waiting for someone to do a bane impersonation

>>70396872
I don't know what you are on about .White stuff comes out my willy all the time

>>70396872
sounds like a zit

>>70396912
this is an illness

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>>70396912

>>70396912
shrieking

>turns out nobody else got a bonus this year either
>company did make a profit

not sure what's going on here lads

why did dentists stop using cocaine? heaven knows it's numbing enough. i'd be RUSHING to have root canals if they were ramming that shit in my mouth

I haven't eaten margherita pizza in so long
it feels like a downgrade

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>>70396885
>>70396894
Eat better lads

>>70396838
LOW

>>70396875

literally the only good meme

>>70396946
its because you're not a banker m8

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>>70396912

>>70396912
office should be orifice

>>70396966
TIER

thought the lad on stream atm was holding up a picture of trump as sonic

>>70396818
Brekki:
Pain au chocolat
2 slices of toast w/ butter and marmite

Lunch:
Cheese sandwich
Kettle "chips"
Dark chocy digestive x2

Din dins:
Spag Bol

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>tfw no muslim qt

>>70396789
ive killed 50 men and impregnated 50 women

>"working" class
>most don't actually work

Hmmm

>People "laughing" at the poo posts in an attempt to "fit in" on /brit/
You fucking saddos.

>>70396991
>>70396941
>>70396938
>>70396912
honestly, is the average age here like fucking 14 or something? "hahahha toilet words XD XD XD". jesus christ

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>You will never have Shia Labeouf square up to you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7j2WnAw_kA

Bloody NEETs and their bennie bonuses

>Breakfast
Fry up: 2x sausages, 2x bacon, 2x fried bread, 2x toast, scrambled eggs, tomato, mushroom, beans
Pink Grapefruit
Coffee

>Snack
Coffee
Croissant

>Lunch
Sea bass, artichoke, potato gratin, buerre blanc
cheese plate

>Snack
petit fours and coffee


>Dinner
Steak Tartare & chips
Beer

Not even memeing.

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>>70397008
VISCANT

>>70397042
pay the footballers NEETs wages and the NEETs soldiers wages
you can do it with the bankers bonuses

>>70397035
It's such a boring way to offend yanks like fucking hell m8. Tasteless.

>>70397036
I bet you didn't like it when bollock posting was popular either?

I, poo poo poo, poo solemnly poo that I will poo poo the poo of poo of the poo poo of poo, and will poo the poo of my poo, poo, poo and poo the poo of the poo poo, so poo me poo.

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>dj zang

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>>70397008
GODDDDDDDD

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Realistically, what are the pros and cons of converting to Islam as a white westerner?

>>70397059
sometimes wonder how or when it happened that brits started having massive breakfast while the rest of western europe doesnt

>>70397121
no booze

>>70397102
how old is she now

>>70397040
I wish I was a millionaire, then I could pull this crap too

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>>70396875
screaming

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>>70397094

#NotMyPooresident

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>>70397106

OkCupid has revealed (I'm actually pretty surprised this post is still up to be honest) the nature in which men rate women on their site vs. the way women rate men.
The graphs speak for themselves. While men rate women on a somewhat symmetric and even bell curve, the way women rate male attractiveness implies that 80% of men are unsatisfactory to the female users of this site.
Average men are deemed to be universally undesirable among all women. We have to understand that a woman with an SMV point-score of say, 2 out of 10, is rating men anywhere from 2 to 3, even 4 points above her in SMV as being undesirable and unattractive.

>>70397035
It's really just the absurdity of it all. If I chuckle and shake my head then I think they deserve their (you)

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had curry and 'bra for din dins lads

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>when you realise kev was walking backwards AWAY from the camera because he had it on a timer

>>70397092
that was at least funny because it was a little bit inventive with making up ridiculous scenarios where your bollocks could be destroyed. this is literally just "hahaha shart". fucking kill yourself

>>70397059
alri grandpa

>>70397124
This one was particularly large desu, and people tend to only have them on the weekends in my experience.

just had my daily egg sandwiches

getting SWOLE feels pretty good

>>70397151
poor little fella
monkeys are to smart and to dangerous to be treated like toys

>>70397173
mind = blown

>>70397166
It's poo just the poo of poo all. If I poo and poo my poo then I think they deserve their poo.

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>>70397173
this post has turned my whole life on it's head

>>70397170
Is this homecooked? If so, it looks pretty good, congrats - are you a rasheed?

>>70397143
never kept track to be honest
but she's still in good shape

making a stew
for me and you

>>70397195
swole or cut?

>>70397121
ismailis are literally led by a brit
they account for 20% of shia islam
islam was actually pretty cool during the golden age but it seems to also have the capacity to turn countries into backwards shitholes if interpreted too literally

>>70397163
10-6

time for a decaff with soy milk and stevia

>>70397234
You don't have a poo what you're shartking about.

>>70397173
Oh my days

Need a lie down

started using candles to light my room. its a much comfier atmosphere 2bh.

might even buy a quill and ink and start penning my memoirs.

>>70397173
third eye status: 100% loaded

>>70397229
swole, lad

im a lanklet atm (188cm and 72kg)

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I AM THE SUN
AN THE AIR

>>70397195
>sandwiches
>bread
>swole

spastic

>>70397222
that's just a photo I got from google

>>70397124
apparently the balkans do the same as us

*moonwalks away from the camera*

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POOTUS

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>>70397173
damn

>>70397173
How was I so blind to see
it all makes sense
we were all looking at it completely wrong

>>70397287
>incumbent
>not incontinent

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>>70397173

>>70397174
Oh piss off you hot-headed wanker. The inability to ignore a stupid joke is far worse than the stupid joke itself

>>70397270
the HEIR you stupid FUCK

>>70397270
delete this

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>>70397173

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my feet in the middle

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scran plan

rate and review

>>70397278
I withdraw all of my congrats then you fiend.

>>70397170
so do you just eat it with your hands with bread?

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he's building the wall lads

>>70397273
lad...

>>70397287
honestly mate, what happened. Did you hit your head? have you been in a car crash?

are you a drug addict if you almost never do drugs during the working week but still spend most of your time thinking about how much you want to do them

scroo poo

rate and repoo

feel fairly confident i started the poonited sharts of arsemerica subgimmick lads
at least when my posts are used to blackmail me in the future everyone will learn how funny i am

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>>70397173
The camera has flashed and he think that means the picture is taken, so he starts to walk towards the camera again before it actually snaps the picture.

>>70397346
>spending four whole pounds on one meal

Fuck off billionaire.

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>scran

>>70397370
who?

>>70397170
submitting this to we want plates

HE WILL NUT INSIDE US

>>70397387
It's the Walshposter m8. We already know he's a spastic.

why is he walking away from the camera?

>>70397398
Did this whole thing start here in /Brit/ or what?
I don't browse the other boards much

>>70397410
>hes not going to the asda for his scran

HE WILL NUT INSIDE US

>>70397400
>>70397173
Which is true I legitimately don't know and i now am concerned

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>>70397173
what is seen cannot be unseen

>>70397401
2 meals

*walks away from the camera*

HE WILL NUT INSIDE US
I HAVE HEPATITIS

What's lisicki up to these days? Haven't been keeping up with his story arc in a while

>>70397470
Isn't he on twitter? Ask him.

i am honoured to award
>>70397398
>>70397398
>>70397398
>>70397398
>>70397398
with the pooreshitdential medal of freedom

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Wash your face.

>>70397346
why do people do this to their bodies?

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>kev's lore has just changed suddenly

>>70397541
eat?

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>>70396912
Poo Ess Ayy

>>70396785
to keep whitey out

didn't work though

>>70397346
>1210kcal for 40g protein, all that salt, all that sugar

runt-fodder of the highest order.

uguu

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>>70397173

>>70397557
eat literal trash

>>70397551
It's like following a map for hundreds of miles until you suddenly realise it was upside down

>>70397585
haitiANO

>>70397551
the air was fresh for sure

>>70397398
No you didn't

>>70397515
something something good 2 hours

>>70396818
fuck off murderer

>>70397469
>>70397513
hi youtube comments section!

Shia is cool

i mainly eat eggs and bread and variations of eggs and bread

everything trump is doing right now is just for publicity. you have to be an idiot to fall for it

an executive order does nothing to actually lay the ground work for any of these initiatives. it's basically a blown up manifesto promise.
The money, the work order etc still has to come from congress.

the wall is still just going to compromise more of the same generic fortifications that are already in effect. but he's going to sell it to everyone as a wall.

all he's doing is getting in early to boost his image of productivity for when things do build up for him.

>>70397648
wouldn't DARE say that to my face

>>70397658
Rasheed.

>>70397551
Who's kev? It's the big swans lad

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tha answer is in his gait
the way he's putting pressure on his feet seems to show he's walking backward.


notice the way his foot turns upward so dramatically

try walking backward yourself and see the position of your feet.

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>>70397684

>>70397668
How many variations of eggs and bread can there be?

>>70397669
denial

>/brit/: islam and trump

Really makes me think.

>>70397723
MENTIONED

>>70397668
Join the cheese and potatoes masterraces

love hearing non native english speakers say bloody hell 2bh

>/brit/: pisslam and fart

who here's from uk?

favourite part about /brit/ is the fact that any minor disagreement instantly becomes violent threats
high levels of testosterone

i just lost my last hope

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>>70397717

>>70397727
depends if you count different positions as a variation
if not, 14

>>70397669
>tfw trump is finished

>>70397786
Bloddee hel maytt

>>70397792
not me

why do leftists always chant?

>>70397792
not me ewww lol x

>>70397786
bloody hell 2bh

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Lad on hewillnotdivide.us just stood there with a t shirt saying

Don
Is
Not
Dividing
Us

on his shirt

>implying trump will EVER win
get ready for madame president, boys

>>70397717
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3R8tkvlAlk

>>70397811
he has all his pressure on his back foot
either he just lifted his right foot to show off his leg or he was walking backward.
if he was walking forward you would see his left foot bending a bit rather than placed firmly on the ground

wouldn't it be weird to have a FtM mate and do all your normal lad shit with 'him'.

Plus sides of Islamic takeover of Europe:

>Return of traditionalism in the family, in gender roles, in values
>Return in spirituality, casting down of the godless sinful material world
>More focus on learning and reading, encouraging philosophy and academia

Negatives:
>A lot more violence between communities
>Civil liberties removed, oppression at its fullest
>end of the white race through race mixing

>>70397793
You better not be referring to me or ill put you six feet under, upside down and upright

>>70397860
Blocks out cognitive thought process
Makes you feel like belonging to a crowd
Makes loud noise and gets noticed

>>70397885
just tuned in and they're arguing about naruto characters
ah yes

>>70397885
Post a fucking picture then you spotty virgin cunt

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>remember doing Kroc rows a few years ago
>Look up the bloke who invented them
>He's become a woman

Ahh yes modern life indeed

>>70397860
need something to band them together otherwise they INSTANTLY devolve to sectarianism

Just ate out the cat's anus.

>>70397899
Wrong. Are you literally blind?

>>70397902
t. paki

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really gives the noodle a good boil

>>70397927
>YEAH LIKE THAT GHOST FROM THE LEAF VILLAGE THAT DIED IN LIKE, EPISODE 3
-NY hard man
creasing

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>>70397173

*walks backwards away from you*

just doesnt have the same ring to it

>>70397927
Jesus Christ mate they're arguing about tense of "He will not divide us"

Are these people high or something?

>>70397929
would

are cide

don't talk about things you don't understand

t. a leftist

>>70397897
The super delegates will switch to Bernie any day now

>>70398014
I take it you don't talk much about economics then

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>Why yes, I am a male, and why yes, I DO drink cider! There's nothing feminine about drinking literal apple juice!

>>70397975
ye whos big now CUNTS @ all countries that are now smaller than us

>>70397975
India looking thicc

>>70397997
it was one bloke who clearly went in support of trump but then pussied out when XXBronxNarutoFan420XX started giving him shit so he pretended it was just a grammar argument

>>70398053
And you don't talk much about sex.

>>70397929
ahh yes, very interesting

*walks backwards and talks to someone else*

canadians? not a fan

>>70397929
doesnt really look like one desu

>>70398059
what is pear cider

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>>70398014

>>70397997
all your posts are shit

they're listening to John Lennon. Get LIMEY'D

>>70398085
Me neither

>"literal apple juice"
>contains more alcohol on average than most beers
hmmmmmmmmm

>>70397949
are YOU?
do not test me on this as I've studied it extensively

if he was walking forward his gait would have to be incredibly awkward, like he was goosestepping everywhere .

I've studied youtube videos of him walking and it doesn't match up

that info combined with the placement of his feet and real life research on human walks leads me to conclude his IS walking backward.

>>70398116
how about you just grow a pear and drink actual alcohol?

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>my willy is so tiny that i can't drink fruit juice because it makes me a man to not drink fruit juice

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impressive

>>70398116
It's an alcoholic beverage made by pears, also referred to as 'perry'. Hope that helps xx

>Beer
Literally barley juice

>>70398053
funny because leftism is now more inline with mainstream economics than the right-tards

>>70398168
pssht

i can hold my breath longer than that

>>70398153
Wrong.

Is it true brits drink their beer warm?

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>tfw only 5'10 and a half

how do i tie the rope lads

Saw a black guy walking around Sainsburys with a Pepe tshirt on

Went to the toilet today and pushed fecal waste out of my sphincter

>>70397902
pakis are the most materialistic of the lot mate. religion of hypocrites.

I only drink REAL alcohol like vodka mixed with coke or pisswater

fetch me the 'ottle 'f 'odka will you 'ad

>>70398116
just give it to me straight
like a pear cider
thats made from 100% pears

There is nothing more runtish than dick measuring with alcohol

>>70398207
We don't really care tbf

>>70398219
>Saw a black guy

Londoners everyone.

>>70398219
Should have come over and said hello m9

>>70398207
I don't but I don't really give a shit if it is

>>70398211
that's tall for a mick

>>70398248
I'd just use a ruler 2bh

>>70398236
>mixed
>not drinking it straight
coward

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>tfw you eliminate the left-liberal cancer from your party

>>70398280
Wanke

>>70397975
whitey be stealin our resources by workin and not being a lazy nigger smdh

>>70398305
Corbyn is the left liberal cancer

quite surprised no physical violence has broken out on he will not divide us

>>70398269
This was like last week don't even pretend

>>70398253
You're actually right

>>70398277
>>70398250
Then let me ask a different question:
If someone goes to a pub and orders a beer, generally will it be served cold or at room temperature?

>>70398244
best smiths song by miles

Really, really know the first verse to a song but no matter how often I listen to it or read the lyrics I can't remember any others

Not sure how to proceed

>>70398352
creasing

>>70398349
Cold of course, why would they serve it warm?

You don't get cold food from a restaurant mate.

>>70398352
who's miles?

>>70398393
Someone pours you a pint, it's gonna be room temp

>>70398349
cold, but if it's too cold you can ask for it to be microwaved for a few minutes

>>70398349
probably room temperature or slightly chilled
really cold in the summer though

>the united states has the third largest population of any country

that's a bit fucked eh?

Not sure what area of London to move to lads :S

The Oval Orifice

>>70398349
usually about body temperature is considered best

>>70398401
miles davis
little known fact that he wrote some of the smiths songs

Americans are arrogant because we're better than anyone else

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkMVscR5YOo

choon

>leafs literally fantasise about getting drunk on a plane

I only drink boiled pints desu

>>70398334
>it's a "braindead /pol/tard doesn't know the definition of liberalism" episode

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>eh?

>>70398376
type the first line into genius and see if anything comes up

>>70398421
and they have room for loads more too.

>>70398421
United States isn't a country

Having an argument with the gf currently lads
She asked me if i was a slag and i said "not really" and has been obsessing over it ever since i said it

I'm more attractive than her and she likes me more though so i can't be fucked with her moaning and i'm currently ignoring her 'essages

what do?

>>70398415
>he doesn't kettle boil his beer

>>70398458
I've been drunk on a plane
it wasn't fun

The Shite House

>>70398349
Lagers are served chilled, ales are served at room temperature. Most ale-drinkers in the UK thinks that the flavours come out more if its at room temperature.

t. barman

>>70398471
>and they have room for loads more too.

So do we though, so it's all good

i only drink distilled pints

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>miles davis

keeping track of the normo flatmates through their snapchat stories and they STILL havent fucked off
ffs i just want to eat my pizza without cunts being around ROOOOO

>>70398421
you know what's even more fucked up? the second most populous country has more than 4 times the population of america

>>70398507
>snapchat
FONT

might honestly try piping hot boiled beer just to see what its like
>>70398474
its the biggest practical joke in history

>>70398506
this is literally me

I only drink liquefied yeast extract

>tfw you go to the pub after work and you're gasping for a pint but the pub's lager kettle is taking ages to boil

>>70398494
Alright, thanks lad

>>70398540
Do they not have a microwave?

>>70398531
dont ever post on it m8

i only imbibe alcohol via my arsehole

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>Hourihane, Bree, Bjarnason

Villa are literally going up lads

>when the 'wave isn't working so you're forced to boil your beer on the stove

i'm like marmite
brown, salty and a byproduct of the beer brewing industry

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Why does Opel market their cars as "Vauxhall" with a different logo in Britain? Does Opel have a bad reputation in UK like Honda in NA ?

>>70398507
>He doesn't have a mini fridge, hot plate, microwave, kettle and sink in his room

Literally fuck off Norman

i only imbibe semen via my arsehole

The USA is the product of Brits creating their own country without the monarchy protecting them

>>70398585
Maybe next year.

>>70398465
Hm? No, I mean, I listen to the song pretty often and I should remember all the lyrics but I can only get the first verse

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>imbibe

>>70398585
>Hourihane
he's going to palace

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>>70398611

>>70398624
The USA is the product of diversity.

>>70398580
thats coz ur face looks like an arse lool

>>70398611
>Vauxhall
Holden 2bh

>>70398624
The USA is the product of slavery and genocide.

>>70398612
well im in uni halls so obviously i dont but also how the fuck are any of those things going to cook a pizza

I inject pure alcohol into my bloodstream with a syringe.

>>70398611
>Honda in NA
does it?

never understood why we should feel bad about the native americans

history is filled with the strong taking from the weak

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>The USA is the product of slavery and genocide.

want to move to a comfy boring white American midwestern town.

or Washington (state)

>>70398678
>not boiling your cheese in the kettle, frying pepperoni on the hotplate and putting the base in the fridge

want to do a cum on that redheads face and glasses

want to move from here but don't know where

>>70398708
nice argument, vagina

>>70398714
Move to Minnesota and cook meth for a living

>>70398708
my cock is the product to your mother's pussy

>>70398754
Come to Iceland

unironically cooked a whole chicken in the microwave once.

did not taste nice at all.

>>70398683
they don't
if anything they have a good rep for general reliability and civics are the best selling car ever

>>70398754
Will let you live in the shed in my backyard if you suck my willy sometimes x