/brit/

anyone have success with getting drugs from le deep web

just conceded a goal on fifa

>>68985663
nah

>>68985663
yeah

>>68985668
>Lmaoing @ your lives. British uni is so much easier than Italian it's a joke. Literally aced all my exams studying the day before for them.
t. studies a non-subject

>>68985663
eh

>>68985671
outstanding post

*taps champagne glass with spoon*
*clears throat*

I have no girlfriend

>>68985651
Yeah they will but my job deals specifically with when they get into accidents.

>>68985663
maybe

>>68985663
Aye.

>don't drive a BMW/merc/audi
>don't have a high-powered job
>ugly
>live with parents
>short

won't even be able to get a 1/10 lads

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these are shit, fuck you never listening to a limey again

>>68985713
i thought someone would like that image x

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lads

>>68985715
*laughter then raucous applause*

>>68985737
i love them but they make me need a poo twice as much as normal

A great spectre is sweeping across my bed

it is loneliness

>>68985718
that'll happen too for a good decade

>>68985737
dunk them in a cup of tea

>>68985730
>Audi
rebadged Skoda mate
It's Beamer, Merc, or Bust

>>68985730
Just get a prozzy every few weeks then

Might go art the night but tarn will be fuckin rammed like

just swept my James Bond: Specte Blu-ray disk over some lad's bed

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Are the BBC so desperate to peddle their multi-cultural bullshit that they would fix SCD in an attempt to address the complaints of racism they received earlier?

>>68985742
was hoping you would delete your post from the last thread, try repost it in this thread and realise there was a duplicate image

a gimmick i haven't had work yet

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>>68985760
tea belongs in the sea

>it's a "my family complain that I don't spend any time with them" episode
>it's a "when I do spend time with them they interrogate me and ask me why I haven't got a job yet" episode

hmm yes the so-called "relatives"

just got a 54 plate 2.0L Bust

>>68985751
Sure it's not a bird lad.

I had a crow fly into my house once, it was fucking mental.

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Don't know if anyone remembers but I'm the guy who was having surgery today

Going home soon :)

>>68985730

>wanting to drive overpriced, unreliable shit

fucked it up with 2 absolute pengtings this year
at least I got to yonk in one of them

>>68985789
Alan Sugar kept firing all the minorities, they have to make up for having an all white final in The Apprentice somehow

>>68985737
Agree, but serves you right for taking advice from the fucking plebs on here.

>>68985737
Fuck off yank these are GOAT

>one hour after the first /brit/ thread was posted
>it already runs out of reply space

>>68985797
Greater London

>>68985790
oh so it was out of spite, i thought i had just contributed to the community in some way :(

new tribe called quest album is v nice

imagine the wreath of emotion and glee developing in your chest when you wake up with your new girlfriend and you notice all her pretty features and lovely mannerisms

>>68985797
dont care

on the train lads

wish me a safe journey? :3

>when the lads are meeting up for drinks and 1 of them brings his gf

erm mate...

>>68985808
can't fool me, you fucking zebra

Just bought a Merc lads, it's only done 120,000 miles

>>68985702
Comp Sci and French Language

:^)

>>68985808
small world
I just got back

>>68985797
Why not just get a job, that'd solve the problem

>>68985737
they're good

>>68985808
surgery for what?

>no NYE gf
the worst of all feels

>>68985808
alri zebra lad
glad the surgery went well

>>68985799

ooh er you're a funny cunt aren't you

>>68985808

What did ya have?

>>68985841
don't remind me please

>>68985858
You planning on becoming a taxi driver in Bulgaria?

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Absolutely BTFO

>In a statement to the Higher Education Policy Institute, Sir David Watson of the University of Oxford suggested that the Russell Group’s claim to represent 24 'leading universities' was "a real stretch". In the context of the Russell Group's reputation in the sector, he continued: "particularly dangerous, I think, is the bottom half of the Russell Group…The problem with the Russell Group is that it represents neither the sector as a whole [nor], in many cases, the best of the sector.” Performance in research intensity showed that there were dozens of other UK universities “above the bottom Russellers”

>>68985808
are you allowed to drink water now

>>68985860
>joint honours

enjoy never learning a subject properly fucking pleb

imagine the spare second you find your girlfriends comfortable hand in a crowded street and flush with joy

>>68985863
I try to get a job but it's difficult for someone in my position

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doing a think

>>68985849
She's invariably a fucking banter black hole as well

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>>68985897
>the bottom Russellers

>>68985871

>Nye is looming again
>you've changed nothing

gurning lads

Would honestly prefer it if I never saw my co-workers ever again, 2bh

>>68985905
>but it's difficult for someone in my position

Lazy and ugly?

>>68985902
Will do. Enjoy wasting time doing extra courses for your main that will never be of any use to you or help you find a job :)

>hey want anything from the shop?

imagine getting this text from your girlfriend

>you will never know what its like to go through puberty as a pretty girl
would love to see my chebs grow before my eyes

>>68985928
is that springbok?

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>>68985862
>>68985808
Am I the only one who loves the feeling of going under with general anesthetic?

>>68985870
>>68985873
>>68985879
Is secret Tbh

They gave me a load of codeine to take home

>>68985898
Yeah I had to piss with them in the room so they knew my bladder didn't explode

I could've been someone

>>68985947
ask her for a gf mate

>>68985897
Yeah, Liverpool, Cardiff, QMUL etc are all for spackers and barely better than ex-polys. Russell Group should be 10 unis at most desu.

when you slot yourself in behind your gf in bed to kiss her neck and she smiles, asking "what are you after?" before turning herself round and kissing your lips

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pic related, it's all friends lined up on shelves

>>68985737
Further proof that yanks don't deserve life.

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>>68985954
no

>>68985945
long-term unemployed/uni drop out

going to the national front disco lads
anyone want owt?

>>68985960
>>68985960
cornetto

>>68985975
>long-term unemployed/uni drop out

So just lazy then?

>could you pick me up some choccy and tampons on your way home x

imagine getting this text from your girlfriend

>>68985958
well so could anyone

>>68985955
Well DUMBO, how's your big ugly flappy ears doing?

>>68985849
fucking this

>>68985952

You can still make this happen

>>68985947
cornetto

what are your favourite albums lads

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>ooh ooh ooh OOH OOOOOH OOH OOH OOH

imagine getting this text from your girlfriend

>>68985991
no

fuck off you tory twat with your nasty toxic attitude

>>68985975
be turned down by 4 supermarkets in the last couple months hbu?

>>68985992
had that before

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>>68986005

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>>68986020

>be housed with southern ponce in uni
>say in my glorious north west accent "goin down t'shop, you wan owt?"
>he doesn't understand

fuck off back to eton, posh southern twats

>>68985955
gib codeine

>im gunna sex u big time 2nite hehe lolololol :) x

tfw will never get this from girlfriend

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>>68985841

>>68986029
6 supermarkets

lads you need to just get drunk and go out, girls are especially slaggish at christmas time

>>68985992
Once told a mate to get me some chocolate Lil-Lets from the shop and when the the stupid cunt couldn't find them, actually went and asked the lass shopkeeper not knowing what they were.

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me taking my first step into the real world

>>68986053
nonce

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>>68985841
>lovely mannerisms

mammaries*

am i rite lads?

Bf's apologised over him not speaking to me the last week. I only kicked him out of bed once, at 5am, when we were out of sync. (And I wanted to change the bedsheets because I had relieved myself in them.)

asked santa for a gf for christmas

getting a train home on christmas day lads

could god make a stone so heavy that he could not lift it???????

>>68986080
me having a punt

>>68986120
Yes

>>68986049
Northern accents literally make me nauseous

I have a god tier West Country accent

>>68986049
>north west
>t'
STOP appropriating us dialect

>>68986080
me getting lost in the sauce

>>68986089
>having such a loose arsehole you shit the bed
benders - not even once

>>68985962
Why does it need to exist at all; so plebs who can't get into Oxbridge can feel better about themselves knowing they're in a "gang" with the elite?

got some cracking cornetto posts ready for when /brit/ asks what I got for christmas

>>68986080
what the hell is this thing

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>ywn experience teen love(and sex)

I think the reason I like /brit/ is that it goes so fast, it almost feels like we're in a chatroom and it feels like I'm talking to people in real-time

>>68986120
Yes

imagine being perfectly content with your girlfriends face to such an extent you walk beside her proudly and yet she's never anything but loving and modest

might hop on the so-called "saesh"

>>68986152
Basically, yes.

>>68986133
>>68986165
oh

>>68986160
>he didn't have to pass the trials to become a man
fucking southerners

>>68986163
this tb h, get a few beers and spend a night shitposting on the 'rit, almost feels like I have a social life

imagine having a bit of a shit day and your gf can just tell without you saying a word and comforts you perfectly with her warm embrace

>>68985897
when will people learn that Russell Group means fuck all

>>68986152
that's about the gist of it mate

you'll often hear quegs who go to liverpool or some next uni say to people "oh there's no point if you're not rustlers group" when in actual fact it means next to nothing (especially for undergrad)

it will never just be you and your girlfriend and the trivialities of the irrelevant world

it will always be you taking on the burdens of the world by your lone self

>meet outside wakefield kirkgate so i can test thas fucking chin

Imagine getting this text from your girlfriend

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>>68986171
what?

>>68986216
gfs do not do this

sorry to shatter your illusion

got 2 social events coming up and I'm going to try and talk to girls lads
wish me luck

>>68986247
they literally do tbf, you must've had some right stinkers

yeah mate i go UCLA and we're just as good if not better than any of the russell group unis

>>68986171

Do you make your girlfriend walk behind you?

imagine the warm smile you give when the mates ask how the girl is and you momentarily consider the great affection you have for her as if the relationship was contentment manifest

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might cop

>>68985849
Never been through this. How can a lad think this is an ok thing to do. Surely they loathed the idea when they were single

>tfw live in the glorious countryside, instead of the runty city

not seen a paki in months lads

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If I went on the Chase and Bradley asked me which chaser I'd prefer and I said I want the Dark Destroyer because he's shit compared to the others would they kick me off?

>>68986242
silly cow only wants do over after us brayed living shite out em in front ull hmv

>>68986242
you trying to take the fucking piss kid
mention wakefield a couple times and you try make it a meme yeah
love you to come to wakey and try laugh at the town you wouldn't make it out alive i swear to god

>>68986247
generalising 50% of the world what are you on

>UCL
>UCLA
>UCLan

ah yes

Selling unfiltered words, £1 a shot.

tb?h
sm?h
fa?m
CU?CK
hello ?reddit

******
DO NOT copy and paste any of these without my explicit permission and before you have received your confirmation email for your payment
******

get on with all my lads gfs iah

>>68986136
So you sound like a mong pirate. Congratulations.

>go into tesco for a meal deal
>dregs of society running madly around the toy aisles

ahhh yes

>>68986248
good luck lad

>>68986337
i'll have number 1, number 3 and number 4 please x

>go into tesco for a meal deal
>greggs of society running the bakery aisle
ahhh yes

as if you questioned yourself whether romance was indeed real or invented by books and movies only to have that question answered when you share your first night with your girlfriend

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neighbors are making noise again

it's 10 degrees outside wtf

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normies posting as abnormies

>>68985663
well uh technically nah

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>>68986388
>greggs of society

>go into tesco running madly around the toy aisles
>dregs of society buying a meal deal
ahhh yes

>walk past tesco on the way to M&S
>dregs of society milling around the whole shop

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>Uni was 4th in the country for my course when I applied
>When I actually joined it dropped to 10th

>society rejects me at every turn
>won't allow me to kill myself peacefully
ah yes

>>68986419
good band desu

one of the pies i produced didn't turn out so well hehe

>>68986367
bit worried about the talent in all honesty
but I'm very sexually frustrated

>going shopping
>not just ordering it online

runts the lot of ye

>fly past earth on my way to the secret space station outside Neptune
>dregs of mankind running madly around the whole planet

Any lads in here? MAD FRIDAY?

>>68986433
university league rankings are worthless
employers don't go look them up when they see your cv, if a uni has a reputation (rustlers group) then you're fine

>go into wakefield
>dregs of society running madly around

ahhh yes

>>68986337
I'll have 2 number 9's, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, 2 number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda.

>>68986433
and you think thats just a coincedence?

>>68986317
There's only Mark that's better than him.

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ooh what's he pulling out of his arse this time?

>>68986468

Too busy mate

>>68986337
hello ?reddit

dumb phone poster

>>68986493
don't care

he'd get buried in about an hour in a real war, or 5 seconds if he trifled with me

>>68986493
in the future there won't be tanks because they will be obsolete

>>68986317
Nah, if you say it right it'll be mad banter and you'll get your own Bradley reaction image.

>>68986479
any stats to back this up? he always gets easy ones wrong.

just wanked off my dog
its christmas so why the fuck not

>>68986468
mad friday in my flat by myself haha

love a good pork pie me

"With a sudden movement she bowed his head and joined her lips to his and he read the meaning of her movements in her frank uplifted eyes. It was too much for him. He closed his eyes, surrendering himself to her, body and mind, conscious of nothing in the world but the dark pressure of her softly parting lips. They pressed upon his brain as upon his lips as though they were the vehicle of a vague speech; and between them he felt an unknown and timid pressure, darker than the swoon of sin, softer than sound or odour."

the girlfriend of which i do not have

....

desu

I attend Yeshiva University

>>68986471
>if a uni has a reputation (rustlers group) then you're fine
Kek. Is this the shit you tell yourself, you fucking sperg?

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>friday night
>haven't got any booze in because I thought it was christmas eve
might have to go down the road and have a chat with bossman

what's the best 4chan phone app?

3 replies

>>68986555
it's true

t. expert

>>68986493
Tanks of the future won't matter because the Japanese will have developed ultra strong micro-virbration Katanas that can slice through the barrel of any tank.

>>68986433
>being so stupid you damage the rankings of your entire uni

>that girl who wanted off a dog """"for a laugh""""

downloading a fucking machines torrent lads

cold and wet out lads

Is there actually a point going uni if it isn't Oxbridge, imperial for STEM, or LSE for humanities or the """"science"""" of economics?
The answer, is no

warm in

scouse weather

>>68986603
good goy

>>68985663
Who's asking?

Female squirrels are only fertile for one day every six month

>>68986478
>>68986595
Jokes on you lads because I actually applied to do a different course and switched after the rankings dropped.

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>one week left to secure NYE plans

>tesco meal deal
>at 5pm on a friday

runt life

>>68986458
who's talent?

warm out, only cold out if you're a poof

>>68986524
they already are of a lot less use than they used to be, give it a few years and drones will be able to swarm on them, bomb and rocket them, drop mines in their paths, etc. imagine a tank with one drone clamped on its hull playing screeching sounds through the tank hull to fuck with the crew whilst acting as a beacon for munitions the others will deliver.

>>68986647
it was at like 2pm when t'office closed

>>68986612
I'm sure everyone that went to none of these will carefully consider your remark.

always wondered how people could shove those novelty massive dildos up their arse but just took a shit that was at least 3x the size of one of those haha

uni is 28th in the country for my course

>a big slow metal box that requires direct line of sight to its target
>in an era with man portable ATGMs and missiles that can fire accurately from kilometres away
don't think so mate

the fuck are you lot on about? cold? I was out in a t-shirt today

>>68986566
clover on android, but its not on the google play store you have to get fdroid

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Post unistats

>>68986654
this

unless it's in the minus, it isn't cold
southern ponces

might go buy a bottle of sourz and wkds to relive my teens

didn't go to uni because i'm a runt

Literally outside now in my mankini because it's so uncold

>>68985971
>Guess who I am today
perfect
;_;

steam's still down lads

>>68986671
>that innocent qt you've been eyeing has almost definitely fucked herself with a big black dick before
tough to swallow

just orchestrated an explosive wank

>>68986727
>uncold

The word is "warm" anon

Merry Christmas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Fj9jm6tqrY

I bet being in love is a lot like deep house and nice green parks

>>68986671
i worked with a guy in Brighton who ran his own gay mens adult toys website. He sold traffic cones, real ones, that he sandblasted smooth and cleaned them. he said he got emails requesting them with the reflector still on, but he couldnt do it because the sandblasting shredded them off.

>>68986713
>he fell for the tony blair meme

anyone here ever done a cheeky suicide?

i have a PhD in common sense from the university of life

>>68986755
Sorry fucking Stephen Fry

>>68986653
don't think there will be many girls to choose from at these events

i bet touching a breast for the first time is a lot like listening to the smiths for the first time

>>68986762
is this from a timothy james byrne video

just had an absolutely bizarre dream
weird feeling that I've had parts of it before too
might be going loony

>>68986793
I'm going to do one unless Steam comes back on

>>68986806
who?

>>68986695
link

>>68986799
>fucking Stephen Fry

Grim image, or "grimage"

erm lads I don't think I'll even go out tomorrow

exhausted already and I'm on the sauce tonight hehe, Christmas day will be heavy too.

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>>68986828

I've got an advanced GNVQ in rational thinking from the University of Luton

will be visiting the 17yo fwb tomorrow night

when I fuck I caress her neck a lot
treat it like a third tit

>>68986793
planning to once i work out how to buy nembutal from china

>>68986759
kind of, i would go for this song, 'spect its different for everyone, but the parks thing is spot on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlvFyCcoyN0

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>steam STILL down

>>68986695
>Data for students in the last two years of this course has been combined, as there was not enough data to publish information for last year only.

>>68986849
is that you?

black gf called me a racist in greggs

>>68986757
>5 hours

lmao, this guy is off his nut.

>>68986864
this is the more norman video I've ever seen in my life

>>68986863
darknet

>>68986829
https://unistats.direct.gov.uk/Compare-Courses#

Put in your course and uni, click it for stats

Was politically correct in Pret A Manger earlier on

>uni talk
baka

alri boys how are we doing tonight haha

leaving /brit/ for good

I watched Muslims Like Us on BBC2 with grim fascination. Indeed, they were mostly like us, vaguely but pleasantly charitable, sweary, victims of all kinds of fashions in thought, clothes, language and sex.

And then they were not like us. One had an arranged marriage to a woman he’d never met, as far as I could see. All suddenly slipped into Arabic from time to time. One had attracted the attention of the authorities because of the passion of his views.

I could see his point when he upbraided his temporary housemates for not being very Islamic. They weren’t. He was. And I think most of us probably quietly hope that most British Muslims aren’t very devout.

But what really bothered me was the joke British person, in a bow tie, who was brought in to introduce them to Britishness, whatever that now is. There they were in York, looking at York Minster, one of the most moving and powerful buildings on the planet. I almost stop breathing whenever I visit it (I had the same experience amid the Islamic glories of Isfahan and Samarkand, by the way). But if Mr Bow Tie once mentioned Christianity, or suggested they go inside the great church, I missed it. And the Muslim party seemed wholly unmoved, as if they were being shown a furniture factory.

The sad fact is Muslims are only going to be like us if they sink, along with us, into the same state of ignorance and indifference about the past, and cease to take serious things seriously. Some of them may. But an important number of them (to their credit) never will.

>>68986890
The greatest living philosopher

>>68986939
oh drop the trip you utter pillock

and open the room

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>>68986860

>>68986908
worried ill be tagged for cp if i look too much how to stuff up

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So much for my cheeky night time cs:go competitive before bed.

I'll post here instead.

>>68986961
no and no

>>68986889
>no black gf
Don't understand lads who say they only like girls from one race or two. There are qts of all races and I think they occur at pretty similar rates.

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>>68986695
who here /set/

Bought myself a pair of all white Nike airs in JDs lads

>>68986962
feels good lad
love giving the neck a good bite

>>68986993
Rasheed

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>>68986695
t. not rustlers group

penis in vagina

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>its a thainonce episode

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>>68987014
rofl okay dude

>>68985955
do they ask you to count backwards from 10

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>All the Chasers are great friends…. We have a Facebook message thread where we just chat to each other. Actually Mark is doing a reality show at the moment and I’ve been on the receiving end of the rants about how much he hates it!

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>>68986979
THAILAD!

Trusting a Pole? An own-goal.

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>>68987055

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>Phetchabun

>Getting drunk on Christmas day

Scruffy cunts

>>68987046
*grabs your neck*
mmm...

true say that my dad lived in tottenham

obviously don't do this course but fucking hell
something tells me this can't be right
http://m.unistats.ac.uk/Subjects/Overview/10007788FT-UG_CSTX_KIS/ReturnTo/Search

>>68986993
you're coloured right?

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I wish I had never been born

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heh

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>Happy Christmas and a Happy New Year

more like 'Crappy Pissmas and Crappy Poo Queer'

erm lads, what's on the menu for Crimbo?

me?

>Ruinart brut champagne, local ales, Orval/Westmalle, several bottles of good Chablis and Cote du Rhone, Brandy & Whisky later on

Starters
>Smoke salmon tarlet & dressed salad leaves
>Watercress soup

Main
>Roast Turkey w/ stuffing (stuffed in the actual bird...baka when yanks bake it separately)
>pigs in blankets (bacon-wrapped sausages)
>Roast potatoes cooked in goose fat
>Brussel sports steamed then flash-fried w/ lardon
>Green beans and carrots
>Cranberry sauce
>Bread sauce (hnngggg)
>Gravy

Dessert
>Christmas pudding made several months in advance
>plum frangipane tart
>madeira cake w/ stewed rhubarb
>cream and maybe custard on the table

Later on there will be coffee/tea/chocolates/mince pies

Fillet of beef w/ yorkshire puddings etc. on Boxing day.

Also hyped for left-over sarnies hehe

Weather's a bit shit today isn't it.

just flopped my willy out

>>68987085
turbo 'sheed

>>68987110
not reading any of this reddity shite

>people who say Happy Christmas instead of Merry
how does shit like this, "loose" instead of lose and "could care less" happen?

>>68987091
>Comp Sci at Cambridge

I knew what it'd be before I clicked it. Something happened to skew their stats, like 100% of graduates were hoovered into GCHQ fast stream or something

>>68987030
what course la

My steam won't open, neither will any of my shortcuts :(((((
what do

>>68987100
someone explain this to me

>>68987091
>http://m.

hey reddit

>>68987110
>erm lads, what's on the menu for Crimbo?

Probably a chinky takeaway since they're the only one open

>>68987091
it's cambridge you dip
to get that place mummy and daddy have to be influential, you've got to be rich and you fight people with A*A*A*A* at A-level

either that or they survey like one person

I've been going to after seshes and sniffing ket off baking trays since before the human of the sesh admins were even born

Tell me some really cool british english slang words I can start using to seem more intelligent when speaking english. Thanks in advance!

>>68987110
cornetto

why do we celebrate St Stevens day

Who the fuck even is St Steven

>not getting drunk on Christmas day

>having a roast dinner on boxing day as well
rorke

>>68987138
something else

>>68987138
Do a cheeky suicide

>>68987154
peng

>>68987154
peng munch
nang
mad ting

>>68987165
>>68987165
>>68987165
>>68987165

>>68987166
mummy always does bubble and squeak on boxing day

>>68987095
No, I just don't see what the deal is.

>>68987150
Keep telling yourself that

Most people at Oxbridge are plebs, they're just cleverer than you

>>68986080
WHEEZING

>>68987110
mulled ale, mulled wine, raspberry beee
pigs in blankets
roast parsnips
roast potatoes
linda mccartney vegetarian roast
cauliflower
yorkshires
mint sauce
cranberry sauce
gravy
cheese board

>>68987154
t'pub
t'work
t'post office