/brit/

23yo virgin ama

is a slag

>>68194920
that's the age I lost my virginity

do you think the same will happen to you?

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kay-on

1/4 Irish American here, AM(A)A

>>68194918
is this real?

>>68194963
how do planes work?

only me eat vegan pizza ruff man ting

>>68194936

I'm mad as hell and not going to take it anymore

>>68194868
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bvOHZ0NWig

IS YOUR LIFE AVERAGE DAWGS?

>>68194950
lmao no.
it doesn't help that i don't even try, but even if i did my standards are too high for my appearance

>>68195056
*TIPS FEDORA*

business idea: whisper your way to success

>>68195085
hows that a fedorapost

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>I USE ALL CAPS

business idea: fake it until you make it

>>68194918
Might tug to this later

business idea: make it until you fake it

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Beth :3

>>68194920
what kept you back from finding a girl to shag

>>68195140
>miles
hmm

/brit/ has broken me and i find maisie and cara attractive

>>68194918
she looks 12 wtf

MODS MODS MODS

business idea: be yourself, but in a whole new way

>>68195140
<3

would marry her desu

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doggers

>>68194918
fucking hell shes so ugly

in the CITY, the city of Compton

business idea: ask not what you can do for your profits, but what your profits can do for you

>>68195149
autism probably

>>68195234
awwww <333 :)

>>68195234
imagine working at a doggo shelter where they let them live to a ripe age? the dream desu

chief keef and young thug are better than the so-called biggie and the so-called tupac

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>28 y/o khv
>surrounded by normies
>all of them have sex all the time
>wonder if they know that i'm a loveless freak

>look decent in a mirror
>look like a fucking inbred retarded mong in real life

NOT a fan

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>already posted this but I'm feeling worse and want some more conciliatory (you)'s

Christ lads there's a lass who looks like Rachel Riley in one of my classes. Only difference is she has no tits and arse, which is disappointing desu but she is still stunning.

The thing is, she always glances at me. Ugly, fat me. When her friends are off she even comes and talks to me. One time when I was complaining it was cold she just came over and wrapped her arms around me. I don't even remember her name ffs.

>>68195296
fuck outta here frenchie

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>>68195140

>>68195188
i don't get it

he looks fine

>>68195296
delet this

>>68195238
rebuke a single point he's made

>>68195234
why are the black ones allowed in

>>68195331
Slim jesus > you & me both

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbGR0TGJv7g

>>68195339
>liveleak
Shan't

>>68195289
i dream of greater things than watching pups. i dream of holding the world in my hands, and crushing it on a whim

>>68195322
Maybe you should ask her out

I have autism due to a combination of things one being my mum having me when she was 36 and the other being vaccines

>>68195363
t. listens to j cole

Fedora THIS you fucking losers

>>68195322
>she always glances at me
that's cause you're glancing at her
>One time when I was complaining it was cold she just came over and wrapped her arms around me
ok this is a little weird

>>68195319
>>wonder if they know that i'm a loveless freak
even if you give off a heavy virgin vibe they'll probably ignore it and assume you at least bedded a fat chick once or twice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx4-8zxRj3U

this ugly fat guy stares at me 24/7 in class. he has no friends so i try to talk to him to cheer him up sometimes.. but i hope he doesn't think i want to fuck him... he's so gross but i just dont want him to kill himself

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>>68195363
Fucking hate that wog why did you yank cunts have to force him into the Hitchhiker's Guide movie?

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>>68195358

>>68195387
lots of somalis who moved to minnesota have autism

the somalis blamed it on vaccines that they previously didn't get in somalia, autism doesn't even exist there

apparently its down to vitamin D or something. do you happen to live in a cold state or not go out much as a kid?

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>>68195415
g-good to know

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JUST

>>68195420
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRfRzsEhgVQ Better

>>68195319
t. person who does the virgin walk

they can tell

>>68195454
davinci was a fuckhead

Catchphrase idea: "this is a street thing"

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>>68195375
RIP

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>>68195381
BUT I CAN'T REEEE SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN LIKE I'M JUST SUFFERING FROM ONEITIS REEEE SHE'S ALWAYS SURROUNDED BY HER CHAD FRIENDS

>>68195413
inorite? But I actually force myself to not look at her, but I can still tell from the corner of my eyes.

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mummy?

>>68195420

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQ05xMJMqUs

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>he has the virgin voice

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>>68195454

>it's a fucking selfridges

though it was at least some kind of museum or convention centre

>>68195492
hmmm maybe she's just being nice to you
but you could make a move, maybe talk to her a bit more

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sweIA3pfklY

good lad, should've been on top gear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GF4WvbISFM

just ate a chicken korma ft. 2 naan bread
now drinking a beer and smoking a fag
runt life

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>he does the virgin chew

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>chief keef and young thug are better than the so-called biggie and the so-called tupac

ah yes the self styled french philistine

>>68195438
No I got out plenty

It's definitely the vaccines

need mixer but cba going shops

stop discussing SHITE music thank you very much

In love with a girl lads
never talked to her and only stare at her from across the lecture hall and occasionally smell her hair when I get close

but I know its love for sure.

>>68195538

I can't help it, I'm a virgin

>>68195510

>>68195541
you have an obsession with me lad
its unealthy

>>68195492
post a pic so we can tell you if you're crushing has made you overrate her

>>68195524
TO THE WINDOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
TO THE WALL

im autistic cuz the illuminati inundated me with antibiotics and the chemicals in the tray lining of kids cuisine in my developmental years

do you think you see the truth at the moment of death

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>>68195322
>girls will come up to normies and just hug them
>you still don't know what to do
YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS REEEEEE

>>68195600
Some of us see the truth at all times

>>68195564
>only stare at her from across the lecture hall
>doing the virgin stare
it's over before it even started

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>>68195508
Have actually gotten a lot of compliments on my voice, although only from other dudes or black/Latina women

>>68195600
no you see my big fat bollocks slapping off your mothers pussy whilst im doing her up the arse xD

>>68195510
looks like it was built on the bottom of the ocean floor

bioshock with none of the art deco aesthetic, terrible

>>68195524
OH SKII SSKII MUDA FUka

don't even bother replying to the frog he doesn't even listen to dave
embarrassing

>>68195600

probably, if your ego dies before you

See: U.G. Krishnamurti

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LADS MY ITALIAN FRIEND JUST FOUND OUT HE'S BEEN DATING HIS COUSIN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzBn_1vYGXs

Is he Northern?

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>>68195601
Just be confident bro, that's how I do it
me on the left, you on the right

>>68195600
when i was a kid i came up with a theory that the reason people die is because they figured out the meaning of life. once you realize what the universe is all about something instantly rips your soul from your body and the universe kills you

>Doing anal

Literally a sign of homosexuality.
Also
>Sticking your nob up a tube of shit

ahhhh yes

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ibv2ZoLgcyg

>You're awful bright, you're awful smart
>I must admit you broke my heart
>The awful truth is really sad
>I must admit I was awful bad

>SWIM takes 500ug of acid in an oxford hotel room just now
>the neighbours just got back and it's a couple of screeching girls

ha fml

alexis sanchez is elite

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*Bangs out strong score*

Phantom Typer strikes again

>>68195572
ah yes taking a screen shot haha basically a stalker

kill yourself

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>>68195656
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzishIREebw

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>>68195656
HAHAHAHAHAHHHA

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>>68195463
>>68195508
>>68195538
>>68195613
>when he does the virgin post

>>68195700
>wrong words: 1
dropped
come back to me when you get a perfect score, bet you can barely break 100

>>68195679

I like this theory, is there a name for it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWMNEiq9l7o

post something /fa/

>>68195656
oh like you wouldn't shag your attractive cousin if given the chance

>>68195680

>sticking your nob in a moist tube of decaying bacteria and blood aka a vagina

>>68195700
you always fuck up a word and until you rectify it I hold 0 respect for you

>>68195668

>foive
>goiys
>behoind

no

>>68195735
Always get caught out by from and form, when you type at my speed it's hard to quickly differentiate from them.

You probably wouldn't understand. x

>>68195790
where from?

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>>68195763

>>68194868
>japanese monstergirl asmr mp3s
>they literally always end in me dying

even fapping requires ritual suicide for nips god fucking damn it

>>68195763
'fraid I don't have any gay porn saved to the ol' PC

West Brom are fucking 6th, lads.

>>68195798
shan't be rating you until i see you get 0 wrong words

>>68195780
>>68195735
can't you fools see? he's messing up that word on purpose just to torture you and get even more (You)'s

you're walking right into the spider's web

sleeping in the wolf's den

ridin' the dragon's back

*walks up to a bunch of hot girls*

ayeooooohooooo m'ladies...

*breathes heavily underneath trenchcoat and layers of fat*

....do...*heee*....do you know....*heee*....who I am?

*whips out mechanical keyboard and demonstrates a 150wpm type speed*

YES! I AM THE PHANTOM TYPER!!!

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>>68195763

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>>68195522
I get the same bus as her. I guess I could worm myself into her group there, but as I said she's surrounded by her Chad friends, and I don't want to move in on it.

>>68195579
I'm looking through facebook to try and find her but as I said I don't even remember her full name.

>>68195601
I swear lad I'm not a normie. I'm completely confused.

link to a post that had me guffawing
https://desuarchive.org/int/thread/66988808/#66990374

>>68195855
>inb4 the australian comments "how is that af edora post"

always see this girl on the bus who has half a moustache
it's weird and i dunno what is

anyone know what causes it

Have a drink with me?

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>>68195851
Literally come second in the world earlier on a site that doesn't let you proceed without being accurate.

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/hot-shit-women-share-their-messiest-poop-fetishes

>>68195899
i don't drink alcohol

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>>68195763

watching mike pence do a speech and he just said "our president elect is working around the cock"

>All this Jimmy Saville and football pedo shit
>People still think Pizzagate is some tinfoil meme

>>68195901
>40 words behind
you are NOTHING
asdkfjh (defined) is the true phantom typer

>>68195895
PCOS most likely

>>68195884
ta

>>68195935
>pedo

Shut up Yank

>>68195935
>one paedo is a paedo
>now everyone I say is a paedo is a paedo
very good

>>68195935
*upvote*

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>>68195952
>>68195851
>>68195780
This one just now is for all the haters,

Phantom Typer strikes again

>>68195935
>Jimmy Saville's accusation corroborated up by 100s of witnesses and victims
>'Pizzagate' evidence is Hilary asking for a hotdog with no bun

Do you think I can play dominos better on pizza or pasta?

https://twitter.com/ObamaMalik
hmm

>>68195993
officially rated

>>68195993
>146

don't you EVER

EVER

have the audacity to post in this thread again you absolute failure

>>68195935

noncery is a major source of inspiration for people to become successful. once they're established in sport/politics/entertainment they can arrange easier access to targets and intimidate the victims enough to keep quiet until they're safely dead

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>>68196001

>>68195901
>>68195952
damn askfjh is approaching the levels of the best in the world
As of 2005 , writer Barbara Blackburn was the fastest English language typist in the world, according to The Guinness Book of World Records. Using the Dvorak Simplified Keyboard, she has maintained 150 wpm for 50 minutes, and 170 wpm for shorter periods. She has been clocked at a peak speed of 212 wpm.
more than the speed of the average 4channer


she can probably post at another level...

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Have you committed an act of kindness today /brit/?

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Some more information lads:

>she sits facing me across the room

>most of the time she sits like a normal grill, legs crossed

>one day I get comfy on my chair, manspreading wide

>she does the same thing

Christ it was hot

Also

>when she hangs out with her friends she has one beta male group, one alpha group

>I've noticed the alphas constantly tease the betas

Yeah, I don't want any of that desu

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>>68196032
Thanks

>>68196041
This one is for the continued haters, also set just now

Phantom Typer strikes AGAIN

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>In 2006 Rees-Mogg was approached in a Bristol street by three men who menacingly demanded he handed over his wallet, watch and phone. Knowing he couldn't match them in a physical confrontation, he began reciting Troilus and Criseyde whilst interjecting randomly with "Do you desire mulberry cordial and figgy pudding?". Deeply confused, the would-be assailants called him 'mental' and left without Rees-Mogg's possessions, no doubt wondering what became of the titular characters of Chaucer's work.

Poured myself a nice cold glass of cherry coke and I've got a four cheese pizza in the oven.

please subscribe

>>68196050
Ah yes, the immensely powerful and prestigious position of Crewe Alexandra youth football coach

>>68196074
>150

you were hitting 152 earlier

absolute disgrace

>>68196067
Rachel Riley's unashamed sluttery cancels out her attractiveness. Literally CANNOT get hard to her

>>68196060
That's some intense shitposting tbf.

I can hardly be bothered writing long posts at 150 wpm, no idea how lads who can't at least do 120/130wpm can be arsed.

Anything below that I'd probably give up shitposting desu, it would take too long.

>obama's brother is a redpilled /pol/ster

when will these memes end

tingles lads tingles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QqOPUZj71Y

>>68196082
bellend

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>>68196077
>no doubt wondering what became of the titular characters of Chaucer's work.

Stealing sweets from the Christmas stockpile

hehehe someone post the "devilish" picture

>>68196123
gay male

>>68196111
>Literally CANNOT get hard to her
That's because you're a paki and she's not a 12yo chav

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Had my second (large) bottle of Dr Pepper and I'm aching in my arteries. Gonna go to sleep before the painful contractions begin

How the fuck does this lad type at 150 wpm?

I can't wrap my head around how he types over two words every second.

How does the brain process it?

>>68196097

Tell me Dario Gradi didn't know

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>>68196077
ah yes this definitely happened

>>68196169
i can get 120 and i have no idea how i'd increase it past that really, i feel like i'm going full speed at that many

>>68196169
the life of a phantom

watching anime, specifically overlord while wishing that i'd be transported into my favourite game instead of living this miserable life on earth desu lads

>>68196111

Monogamy is unnatural desu

>>68196146
cunt, why dont you think of others for once

your happy-go-lucky 'cheeky chappy' identity is impressing no one

gfs gone to stay at her mums, said she won't tell her about the fight

going to absolutely leather her little fucking rat dog later

>>68196206
I'm spending too long here that this made me laugh.

I need to stop posting here.

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saw a picture of myself today. feel like crying. kind of want to die

Who else types primarily with two fingers

people are attracted to me because of my shrewdness and wit

>>68196246
my gran

>>68196246
me hahah no need for any more

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Paki from my college who's 17 is getting married to a 21 year old. Can't believe it. Apparently it's not even arranged.

>meanwhile I'm here for my 4th year and still a virgin

I require your strongest potions

Respond to this post if you believe in god because I want to laugh in your stupid face

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>when an aussie replies to you

Increase your looks

Or

Increase your intelligence

Pick 1

>>68196274
dont care

>>68196246
Can you not touch type? I only used two fingers when I didn't know where the letters were

>>68196201
Just waste more of your youth playing Runescape lad,h-h-h-ahaha.


Practice and it will get better, now 130 wpm is my minimum speed and I'm looking at 140 average on an okay day, you will get better

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>Why yes, m'lady, I am INDEED from the United States of America, the greatest nation on earth!

>>68196292
looks, 100%

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>>68195763

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-37606726

Why do I have to fund articles like this? And why do /brit/cunts still deny the BBC's left wing bias

#brit girlfriend
https://youtu.be/E4Ji0vaUabU

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I would like a place I can call my own
Have a conversation on my telephone
Wake up everyday, that would be a start
I would not complain by my wounded heart

arsehole is a bit sore

>>68196292
Looks

my IQ has already been recorded at 175

>People on brit who can't touch type
>People on brit who can't drive
>People on brit who aren't currently obtaining or have obtained a degree
>People on brit who are still HHV


What the fuck are you doing?

>>68196292
looks, no question

>>68196313

Yes I can touch type
I just learned to type a funny way for some reason. I have been using a computer since about 1993.

>>68196320
>repeating a fedora pic across only two threads
Step up your game lad.
>inb4 you hat this post

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Huniepop finished downloading lads

>>68195993
>>68196074
>this willy waving
What's it like having a pointless skill? The human eye can't see past 30wpm

>>68196370
haha imagine being all of these haha

ha

What's higher, your IQ or WPM?

>>68196372
alri granddad

>>68196405
my IQ apparently

>>68196363
I've had blood in my shit for 4 days going now.

>>68196292
Intelligence, get rich, and the girls will come to the money. I'm around a 6-7 anyway so money would probs bump me to 8-9.

>>68196405
my WPM (90)

don't like this facebook live business. far too easy to broadcast by mistake when you're on so called drugs.

>>68196405
My IQ

it's already been recorded at 175. I can only type 164 wpm unfortunately

>>68196212
Good luck in recreating a completely new social order for humanity

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>got invited out by a girl I really like
>couple mates asked me out
>turned down both
>sit at home shitposting

This is why I'm alone.

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dirt or air pollution?

>>68196405
My waistline

>>68196392
>Why is it better to type two and a half times faster than the average office secretary
>What is the advantage of getting all typed work done in double the speed of the average person.

I wonder

Why is the north so shit?

>>68196331
I find it hilarious how they think they can get away with their biases if they simply put "viewpoint" at the start of the article. I wonder if they'd ever allow a social conservative to write a viewpoint article on their site

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>>68196392

>>68196292
intelligence

already got good enough looks

>>68196437
FONT

Shit, I was using the internet before some of you were EVEN BORN and I'm not even 30 yet

LAUGHABLE that you think anyone would care about a literal CHILDS opinion!!! Sad!!

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Is there much common ground between brit/pol/ and /brit/ memes?

Why do all new builds in Britain have this weird ugly red/black smears going up the walls?

1996 was... a bloody long time ago!!!!

howdy there partner! whats your name!

Not going to lie lads, this Phantom Typer shit is autistically fast but to be fair it's quite impressive and there is a LOT of jealousy going on right now.

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>>68194868

>>68196001
what kind of secretary of state writes emails about pizza and hotdogs on encrypted web servers

>>68196331
Because it's not editorial policy, it's an opinion piece part of a magazine.

That said, there is a bias at the BBC, but using this to support that is really quite desperate. Try harder.

>>68196483
he's not tough enough

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN

WOOOAAAAHH

D E M

S U R G E

2 0 2 0

>>68196504
>>68196494
>>68196510
>>68196484
all very good posts

>>68195025
Great movie tbqh

>>68196363
*slides a single finger down your arsecrack*
*slowly inserts my middle finger into your arsehole*

The STATE of anyone posting here in their 20s and beyond

>>68196067
that bod tho

>>68196494
RIP that black fella Twopack

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>>68196483
>skimmed
Milliband was tougher than him.

>>68196510
Cool yer boots, la. Heard he is a fucking CHEAT. A fucking CHEAT

>>68196553
t. 19 year old

>>68196462
Never post this agent again.

>>68196483
Why are almost all social liberals such weaker, beta, pathetic, balding nu-males? Is it because of the low testosterone levels?

Genuinely don't understand the point of the Lib Dems. Do they even have policies other than "Hello Labour voters, I disagree with the Tories. Hell Tories, I disagree with Labour"

>>68196553
what's wrong with that?

>>68196462
the true irish angloman

>>68196553
t. future 20 year old 4chan poster

remember: you're here forever

The first time I got fucked up the arse it wasn't even sore the next day and he was pretty big and quite rough with me and I was obviously pretty tight

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>I have more than 5 fedora pics on my computer/phone

The Phantom Virgin

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>he doesn't have an English gf
the absolute STATE of you all

*glances at the clock*
it's time to start drinking

Been posting on the chan for 10 years now and Milhouse still isn't a meme

wish I could stop coming to these threads. they're just awful

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>I don't have more than 5 fedora pics on my computer/phone

>>68196610
how runts tell the time

>>68196586
Paddy Ashdown is socially liberal and was fucking SBS, m8. Even at 75 he'd wipe the floor with you.

>>68196607
He has a gf lad apparently

>>68196586
Balding is caused by test you fag, higher test could even cause you to bald earlier since the conversion of test to DHT would be higher

>>68196609
Have a French one, they're better desu.

>>68196631
>gets dutch last name
>is a spastic
fucking anglo bullies reeeeeeeeeeee

what are some jobs which involve lifting up heavy things?

Dodged the work do tonight and the automatons are already posting instagram photos pretending they are hollywood stars or something, the narcissism is unreal, embarrassing lives of these non-entities

Some of the women at work talked for weeks on end about what dress they might wear to the christmas do, some got them delivered to the office and the others would gather round as if it was a newborn child! primate rituals that my advanced mind finds bizarre.

I caused shock and outrage when I said I wasn't even going to bother with the christmas do, they're all dolling themselves up, playing the rules of the game and I said flat out that I wasn't even going to play that game and they couldn't comprehend it.

business idea: become a gimmick dahar master

>>68196666
Steel Erector

https://nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk/job-profiles/steel-erector

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWtZ8fPDeas

>>68196666
personal shopper for your mum

>>68196610
time to crack out the biere d'or me thinks haha

You should try having a Russian gf.... just sayin...

>>68196668
Good post, enjoyed it. Subscribed.

>>68196648
>paddy pants down

>>68196686
banger

>>68196586

stronger men have more right wing views

*wallops it top bins*

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>>68196655
spare an English girl then please?

>>68196697
please let it be

reminder: if you still have a full head of hair, you play life on easy mode

>>68196668
imagine never growing out of your secondary euphoric phase

>>68196668
I can't wait for the work do just because I'm interested to see my boss/co-workers drunk.

>>68196668
I know you're fedora posting but I agree on a less cringe level.

The lack of self-awareness is astounding. They go but cannot wait to upload photos online too how everybody else how much of a good tim they're having, it's that good, they're constantly worrying about their online presence and seeking validation from others.

>>68196666
Psychiatrist

>>68196709
Yeah, and he has a cock like Pringles can. The joke is on you.

>>68196516
yeah you're right tbf must be noncing & dabbling in the occult then

case closed

VERY important question lads:

if moggy ran for PM would you vote for him?

If nu-males are such low test cucks why do they all have thick full beards?

Can only get 105-110 WPM lads

>>68196697
Don't want HIV, also not looking for a golddigger.

>>68196405
My IQ is 56 and my WPM is 59.

So my IQ is higher.

>>68196772
No because I don't live in North East Somerset and we don't directly elect our PM.

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give me some ideas for christmas presents lads

>>68196772
I don't think you understand how out political system works, fella

>>68196760
not a tinfoil but its clearly code talk

for what we dont know

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>rubbing phlegm into blanket
>looks cumstained
Ah yes
>picking nose
>place luscious snobs on my lips
>lips have an acidic burning sensation
Ah yes

>>68196702
can guarantee every one of them has shagged a white girl. These people are the absolute minority, so basically if they were to shag anyone, it'd most likely be a white girl.

>>68196772
Unashamedly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uC72zaTr2ZE

>>68196772
ye

>>68196781
screeching

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>>68196773
>thick beards

>>68196723
They're easy mate, French girls are classy.

>>68196772
I wouldn't vote Tory regardless of who the leader was.

The lead minister doesn't make a whole lot of difference to teh party overall.

>>68196772
depends what his policies are

widyatalkenabeet

>>68196772
Not being an MP, I don't get to pick the Tory leader

>>68196837
>They're easy
perfect

>>68196858
u fucken druggo

Need to reinvent myself but don't know what to, any ideas?

>>68196799
yeah but probably noncing though eh lad

who talks about hotdogs and that on an encrypted server eh? she knew it was encrypted and all, after all our Hilary is a proper tech whiz as we all know!

hmm when they say they want icecream they must be talking about little kids on their plane, oh what did they call it again? oh yes the "lolita express" that's right

>>68196697

the most perfect woman i ever met was in Irkutsk

>>68196889
Become me and I'll become you

>>68196789
>>68196793

>being pedants on a saturday night

???

since you both suffer from the 'tism i'll rephrase it

if moggy was chosen by the tories to run in a general election, would you vote tory?

>>68196821
>>68196824

very good lads

>>68196889
a fish
become a fish

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJke0VrCdY4

>>68196791
Lynx gift set

>>68196889
come back as a woman

>>68196791
Doesn't matter it's the thought that counts, just look at Jesus.

>>68195140

Is she Cornish?

I know a lassie from Cornwall who has very similar facial features.