/brit/

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>why yes I do have """"""""depression"""""""" (self-diagnosed of course)
>it's all over my facebook so everyone knows to treat me nicely

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karens

I HAVE FUCKING BROWN HAIR WHYYYYYYYY

>>68025219
whas this

>>68025238
him projecting

reeeee lunch break normies

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>>68025231

*rattles the bars of my cage menacingly*

>tfw no 17 yo tight bodied, slut gf

the normonaires are at it again

>>68025231
>>68025270
Who is that girl and where can I get one to be a little sister? She looks cheeky.

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>not having grey eyes/dark blonde hair combo
it's like you chose to be a runt

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>>68025235

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>>68025297
her body is literally perfect lads I won't lie

she looks about 20 anyway so it's not noncey in the slightest

>>68025317
state of your existence (if it can even be called that)

Alright lads you may remember me as the programmer who was making a hacking website and hacking related scripts for that group of rich kids, they've given me more projects and explained what the big project is, they're offering me 2000 to make a custom piece of ransomware targeting their school, they have an admin account so they plan to distribute it on a massive scale, they also have access to the server where backups are stored (off site) so they want to target that aswell, they said I get 30% of whatever the ransom is but I have no idea what the ransom for an entire high schools systems are any of you lads got any idea what kind of figure I should tell them we should ask for?

>>68025342
show us some txts

>>68025328
>being british
cmon lad you can do better

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>Alright lads you may remember me as the programmer who was making a hacking website and hacking related scripts for that group of rich kids, they've given me more projects and explained what the big project is, they're offering me 2000 to make a custom piece of ransomware targeting their school, they have an admin account so they plan to distribute it on a massive scale, they also have access to the server where backups are stored (off site) so they want to target that aswell, they said I get 30% of whatever the ransom is but I have no idea what the ransom for an entire high schools systems are any of you lads got any idea what kind of figure I should tell them we should ask for?

>>68025297
>tfw 16 year old gf who looks about 12 and is a slut
you should see the looks we get when we kiss in public

>>68025355
not reading a word of this utter tripe

>>68025328
Long thick mid-blonde hair here with grey/blue eyes. Feels good.

for the LAST time those are green eyes

>>68025377
are you trying to undercut my 17yo fwb gimmick? I'll fucking glass you mate

>>68025235
>tfw blond
Quite nice desu but i wish my hair was thicker. Blonds tend to have fine hair and it's hard to style, it's unbelievably soft though. Girls love feeling it

>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rotherham_child_sexual_exploitation_scandal
what did you guys mean by this?

>>68025400
no mate I didn't mean anything by it I just meant we should both be happy to have young slutty gfs

Give me a reason why I shouldn't just top myself

FACT: Horsham is the most powerful town on /brit/

>>68025405
iktf

don't know why they think it feels so good, literally had an entire group of girls gather round feeling my hair once.

>>68025410

paki taxi drivers
police and council afraid of being called racist
nothing else to it really

>>68025445
ummmmmmmmmm

>>68025422
hmm alright
*sheathes longsword*

>>68025430
ye, meet at dog n bacon??

Anyone wanna get drunk with me?

>>68025410
this was a good agitator in the manufactured whites vs browns working class dispute

seems to be quite a lot of sly nonces in this thread

not sure I like this desu

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>manufactured whites vs browns working class dispute

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIS8RhU8JQE

our guy is back with another massive choon

>>68025426
i cant if your willy is big enough to bend round and fit in your bum, go for it

>>68025469
meet me and >>68025468 at the dog & bacon

I'll be wearing a wedding dress I got from oxfam and drinking john smiths

>>68025469
me

in a very strong mood for degeneracy today

not sure why

>needing to brag about shagging some bint

wew

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>>68025426
He would be sad.

>>68025487
not illegal mate

>>68025445
you're done
>>68025471
and you are SERIOUSLY done

when did the narwhal bacon?

>>68025519
>>68025518
Good on ya

What you lads having?

>>68025560
midnight u newfag

hate runts that require emotional support

fucking weak runts need to harden up

>>68025560
is this /pol/ slang?

>girl texts me after a day
>I text her back
>No reply since 12 hours ago

Ah yes, so called females

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>having sex with someone above the age of consent? utter noncery, sirrah!

autistic virgins actually think this

>>68025612
I'd text you back mate

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fact: britis peopl are the most powerful race in the earth

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JUDAS WAS PAID

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fvn6tpo0-vI

>>68025630
thanks mate

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>>68025634
PARDEWWWWWW

>>68025634
are pards

>>68025597
reddit

>>68025626
yeah, it's as bad as constantly bragging about being one of those cunts who dates girls still in highschool because theyre not old enough to know how much of a dropkick you are just yet

When was a time you sacrificed your self-interest for the sake of the bants?

dumb bradleyposters

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>>68025435
It's cause were hot lad

>>68025693
Brexit

>>68025690
lmao you are literally fuming

did I nick your school sweetheart???

>>68025677
is there a difference?

>>68025430

Based Horsham.

Rusper here

>tfw comfy bumpkin

>>68025697
i think it's just something to ask if you want to find out if someone else is a redditor

lacking character lads

>>68025697
It was supposed to be a way of detecting fellow reddittors irl

>>68025693
>>68025710
did a chuckle

Signs you're a runt

>Smoking
>Drinking instant coffee
>Drinking sugary drinks
>Tattoos
>Regularly watching television

>>68025772
2 me

>>68025710
>>68025693
Literally this.

Lost over 10% of my savings effectively (live in aus, all in GBP) but totally worth it for le meme year

>>68025772
>>Smoking
*throws myself into the runt bin*

>>68025693
When I did the following
>drank paint
>drank lighterfluid
>drank canal water
>gave a homeless man 20 to lick my tounge
>let my friend stab my with a sword (only a small stab)
>made sure I got hit by a fairly slow moving car
>ate my mates sick off the floor
when my lads tell me to do something I do it or maybe I'm just a grim cunt with no self respect

>>68025720
m8, that's literally why they date you. you have a car and can buy piss.

and no, you didn't nick my sweetheart. the guys who hung around the group of girls we were friends with were absolute betas.

>>68025634

didn't they lose that game?

>>68025693
will be sacrificing revision time to see the gf today x

Normies? Hmmm no thanks

>>68025792
you are the group dog. nobody respects you and you're kept around to be laughed at

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>they think -5°C is cold

>>68025801
>date

I see you're not familiar with my 17yo fwb gimmick

>>68025851
better than having no friends I guess

>>68025876
somewhat

imagine being a chink living in britain and trying to get a gf lmao

>>68025801
I only knew of one situation like that
22yo or something moved from Adelaide to Brisbane to date a 16yo girl in my year and she wasn't even hot
Guy seemed like a loser from his fb profile pic based on his clothes

>>68025864
i'm assuming you will start dating seeing as you won't fuck up about it. in either case, guys who hang out with highschool girls are massive losers.

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Is he /brit/ approved, I should hope so

finally found something that triggers aussies

>>68025892
feel slightly bad for chinese lads

was with a chinese girl recently and she said that they're basically betas with small dicks

>>68025863
*slowly interlocks my hand with yours*

>>68025851
literally me. They would beat on me whenever girls were near to showcase their dominance

*scurries behind you and sinks my teeth into your scalp*
*romps away yelping as you begin to batter me away*

>>68025907
does this apply to dating first year uni students as well?

eating an apple lads

Thoughts on the ra?

>>68025939
girls suck. seems like everyone becomes an egotistical cunt when girls are introduced to the equation

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>whilst
>one
>lest
>betwixt

>>68025969
Tiocfadh ar la

*jitters violently with wide eyes and tufts of torn-out hair in each hand*

>>68025969
Oo up the 'ra

>>68025969
positive

finished my apple lads

>>68026008
*spaffs in your eye*

whoops haha, just trying to keep an eye on things

>>68025939
all you have to do is be nice to the girls and if any of your friends do that shit, the girls won't be impressed at all haha

>>68025915
yeah
if i was 85 and near death, it's the way i'd want to go

>>68026044
what kind of apple was it? x

>tfw one of your primary school mates becomes cool and ditches you instead of taking you with him

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>>68025969

good lads

>>68025932
*calls you a paki*

What do you drive lads? Audi A3 here

>>68026079
deano

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Trump has absolutely LOST it haha

>>68026057
breaeburn desu

Gagging for ireland to take northern ireland off our hands, money sink desu

>>68026091
my dick is completely hard

>>68026093
solid choice to be honestly fair

>>68026052
not true, they just go "aww haha leave him alone"

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alri infidels

eating an orange now lads

>>68026129
haha alright saddo

>>68026091
the fascists will love this

>>68026126
nah idk last time it happened to me, the girl got really salty at him about it and was like "what the fuck, why would you do that?"

i had to actually come in and say he was joking around

>>68026091
aren't flags meant to be burnt though?

>>68026079
A 318d

If Rhodesians never die how come most of them are dead

can everyone stop being silly

Gf is such a miserable cunt at times, might just have to straight up clatter her

just bounced the gf's head off the kitchen table for suggesting that we go to her parents' house for christmas dinner

she will not fucking learn

Wearing a hair band lads

desklaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad

Ed is dead, long live Ed

finished my orange lads

>>68026079
Not a fan of the A3 because it's got that proper family car arse on it, do fancy a 5-door A1 though
Mazda 6 atm

>>68026170
Well I was overselling the physical abuse. It wasn't like literally beat up by just rather a punch on the arm or pushed into the bush. One guy would wrestle me down to the ground and not let me get up but didn't do anything more than that

seem to have moved from noncing to deano-ing in this thread

*nonces deano*

>>68026246
reported

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can I shitpost here too?

>>68026283
I can control the flow of the conversation whenever I want

I started the depression discussion, the moved on to the 17yo fwb discussion, now I'm moving us on to cars

The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage.

>>68026324
This absolute delusion. You are MY puppet

Exceptionally shit time of day to post

>Wageslaves at work
>NEETs still asleep

Even the uni cunts are mostly still at uni

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>>68026320
hmmmm

I drive your mum
AMA

>>68026346
this is the lunch break hour

after about half 2 the posting quality increases for a while before being shattered by the normies

>>68026340
I've been playing you and your countrymen for (You)s ever since this thread started. I'm saving this thread and showing it to the 17yo fwb later, she is going to be in hysterics

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>>68026320

>>68026346
And most of the Aussie wankers aren't here

>>68026361
When did you get your HGV license?

>>68026324
I started the 17yo fwb you prick

>>68026324
fuck off back to /o/

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>>68026373

will be filtering "17yo fwb" when I get to my pc

>>68026385
heh, incorrect, feel free to distribute it when I'm not here though (for instance when I'm off shagging the 17yo fwb)

contemplating a banana lads

>>68026381
When i slammed ya nan

>>68026416
steady on senpai

>>68026416
ill give you a banana in a minute

feel sorry for the abnormies when we start going on about gfs and cars

but then I realise they are subhumans who refuse to change their ways or better their lives

Just ate an entire pack of spinach and ricotta tortellini

when are you going to have a gay pary up in here?

masturbating to my own inevitability

>>68026475
>gay pary
this is /brit/, not /fr/

>>68026475
*parries your post*

try again kiddlywink

>>68026464
is this /pol/ or /r/the_donald?

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What do I send now lads?

I double text sometimes and so does she

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>>68026091
Quite LITERALLY 4d chess

>>68026549
qt

>>68026468
it's impossible to get a gf past a certain point. when you're getting to know each other the fact that youve had no relationships ever/for years must set off major red flags. Lying about it wouldn't work unless you were a sociopath

>>68026409
prove it

>>68026549
you went to church to try and shag a girl

business idea: don't do this

>>68026549
>gets you to go to church
>"yes indeedy"
mate you're going out with Ned Flanders

>>68025963
no. but uni girls are shite in bed anyway

>>68026549
>2016
>church

>>68026549
"But did you know God isn't real and religion is a tool to control the masses?"

>>68026091
>>68026555
if you want to make a symbolic gesture, don't burn a flag - wash it

god, haven't these people ever played call of duty 4?

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who is big kev?

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>>68026525
would absolutely heem you, dex kiddie. pic related i'm 6'4 and built like a fucking rock

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>wake up
>made coffee, dressed etc
>coffee tasted like piss
>sweater torn in doorway
>roads are jammed due to construction on the bridge that isn't being worked on
>4 lanes are being jammed into 2 lanes
>ended up late to work
>someone stole my lunch I left in the fridge
how is your day going do far, /brit/?

>>68025410
all croatians should be killed

>>68026660
>woke up
>shitpost for 4 hours
>now doing a poo

>>68026660
that's what you get for being a wagie

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>being a born again Christian is now transgressive

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>>68026660
woke up at 8
got out of bed 3 hours later
did a bit of work

might walk the dog

>>68026654
*rolls away*

>>68026705
feels bad man

>>68026660
Cute pic
I imagine you look like that

>>68026578
>>68026598
>>68026605
>>68026616


But what do I say

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need a laughing cow gf

>wake up
>go back to bed
>mmm comfy and warm
what's that?
>>68026660
oh you poor yank having to get up and do stuff
oh woe is you!

27 years old lads

am i past my prime?

>>68026749
look pal, you're too far gone for our advice

i suggest binning the runt christian and the killing yourself

used to be attractive when I was younger

quite the mong now

I ehat uyo

>>68026766
yea, prime for men is 23 and 15 for women

>>68026784
Cheers

I don't give a fuck I'm black and I LIKE menthol

fuck you

>>68026827
Nah, I think I'll peak just before my 30s

>>68026549
"Hey want to meet up tomorrow and you'll be on your knees except its not Sunday ;)"

absolutely detest the so-called family lads
do not know why i'm keeping myself alive for their sake's

>>68025235
brown hair and blue eyes is master race status

>>68026864
>you'll be on your knees except its not Sunday
Don't do this.

>>68026907
have this combo and never had a gf; checkmate

>>68026864
>you'll be on your knees except its not Sunday
yeah do this bit it's grand

he sags his pants, do rag and a stocking cap
his step father hit him so he socked him back

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>>68025297
>>68025342
her name isn't Millie is it

Might be a looney but if some football coach was touching me when i was a kid as i got older i would have went back and sorted that poof out

>>68026991
state of this girl's self-worth

>>68026991
Why do they even make it 18+ if the legal age is 16?

would bang the one on the left

haha poopoo

>>68026749
wait for her to message back first ffs

>>68026908
Its GOAT, see >>68026940

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Discuss

>>68027028
this 2bh
how many did he nonce?
amazing that he's unharmed

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>>68027039
>girl's self-worth
>implying a girls self-worth isn't how much a man values her

*Poles vaults into thread*

Alri?

>>68027068
>no balkanised Gibraltar
0/10

>>68027068
disgusting

0/10

>>68027049
because it's a goymerica app

>>68027098
>*Poles vaults into thread*
they'd better not, we voted brexit

>>68027098
all icelanders should be killed

>>68027150
>>68027142
>>68027118
*Pole vaults back to Iceland*

>>68027098
*pole vaults into your head*
thats for the cod wars cunt

>iceland

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah yes

mind if i bum a fag?

Poleaboo is still here

Still awaiting trial

Still trying to avoid killing myself

Why the fuck don't all the poles go to Iceland there's tonnes of room over there

>>68027219
Bit gay that

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>iceland has a museum for dicks
CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP
http://phallus.is/en/

Lads I will fuck you all up, if you dare pick on Iceland again.

Iceland is GOAT, NOW FUCK OFF YOU BULLIES

t.Volcanoboo

Sister and mum got burger king but didn't even think to ring me and ask if I wanted anything

>>68026864
>"Hey want to meet up tomorrow and you'll be on your knees except its not Sunday ;)"
professional guy this, do it

>lost my dota match
thats fully not on

>>68027239
Because the pay isn't very good, but there are still plenty of Poles here

>>68027255
*invades iceland and subjugates their people*

>fully
what is this, 2005?

>>68027250
Shan't be clicking that

>>68027250
Been there desu. Was a right laugh

>>68027255
>his country doesn't have active volcanoes
lmao

>>68027250
uncalled for

>>68027281
good year desu

>>68027250
I'll donate my dick to your mum, mate

>>68027250
wew lad

>>68027281
bringing back classic gags is redhot mate
ie: youre a mongstrosity

anyone else secretly gay and go around the city getting prostate exams from different gps to satisfy themselves?

>>68027296
>He doesn't have to scrape the ash crust off his windows at least once a week
Haha

how do i stop focusing on my heartbeat

>>68027363
watch Holby City instead

>>68027363
just stop thinking about it

>>68027344
thats subpar

>>68027363
focus on your breathing honest

>>68027363
Make it stop beating?

>tfw hungry but too lazy to stop shitposting

Gagging for another cod war

>>68027347
>having a car in this day and age

all men want is a friend with benefits

>>68027363
go back in time and dont take the drugs

>>68027392
same

would have to do some washing up first so I'll probably just have some coffee instead

>>68027400
We won't try it unless we get another ace of spades

slow thread today lads

>>68027410
would probably prefer having one over having a gf

>>68027068
>Zaporizhia
>Russian
Even for a joke map that is too much.

*activates gimmick resuscitation*


Cara

>>68027410
fuck off am I being friends with any dole-scrounging leech

>>68027409
Cars are a necessity in Iceland

>>68027455
all ukrainians should be killed

*does you in*

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Hey Iceland where's your cuckstamp?

Less people live in Iceland than the city of Nottingham proper (not counting suburbs)

>>68027377
underrated post

>>68027500
iceland is the size of a postage stamp

just walk everywhere

>>68027455
>Ukraine
>>>/x/
>Ukrainians
>>>/an/

>>68027530
What the fuck is a cuckstamp?

icelad

is your name thorlakur palmasson?

>>68027528
can confirm ive been full on done in on numerous occasions by this genuine renegade

>>68027562
overvalued post

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs

belter

>>68027591
Not even close
Except the "son" part

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reminder

People will shoot down every single idea for what I want to do in life and tell me that I'd be an idiot to pursue any of it, but as soon as I say "Well then what's the point of living?" they'll turn 180 and say that life is amazing and you should follow your dreams

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>>68027580
having our own flag on yours

>>68027610
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA
actual anthem

>>68027629
yeah i know about icelandic naming customs

can't fool me

>>68027629
t. Sonny "My Son" Sonson

bit fast today lads
could you slow down a bit

>>68027651
really boggles the old snoggle

Get this lads, the country Bangladesh has Lad and Esh in its name

just farted and it semlls

>>68027684
delete this image mate

If everyone's a little queer, why can't she be a little straight? :'(

anybody remember that Cadbury "wouldn't it be nice" ad?

>>68027651
haha yeah pretty much, better go take some pills and sleep for 18 hours a day hahaha

>>68027691
Also "Bang"

>>68027708
iirc they later co-opted that for use in lotto ads

having panic attacks for the last week and dont know why haha

>>68027708
how do you know what adverts are?

As a man of South Asian heritage I am strongly considering moving to Iceland so i can enrich it and the locals

>>68027691
Scunthorpe has a rude word in it too haha
Saved me from being nonced in Runescape when I was being groomed, couldn't tell the nice man who wanted to see my football stickers where I lived because it would keep censoring it

>>68027729
have a teaspoon of cement and harden the fuck up

soft cunt

>>68027706
MY CHUM IS A LESBIAN
I THOUGHT I HAD FOUND HER BUM

>>68027752
doubt you'd get past the polar bears m80

As a man of Icelandic heritage I am strongly considering moving to South Asia so I can enrich it and the locals.

>>68027762
thats a deadset wing lad

as a man of jewish heritage I am strongly considering saying "oy vey"

>>68027842
>>68027842
>>68027842

New

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>>68025430
Gayboy here, what the fuck even happens in Horsham?