/cum/

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how does /cum/ pick up girls?

Do I need to down a few bud lights or what boys

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>a janitor tells me to wait till 310

>>66594672
Depends on the girl.
Normally I just grab them by the girlpucci.

>>66594672
>the official beer of the National Cuckball League

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who /watchin BASEDball/ here

Deleted thread in 3..2...

/cum/ absolutely btfo

omg i coming cats and dogs thnx for pic!!

>>66594672
i dont know mate, don't want to get too wasted, could put you off your game

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>>66594677
Kinda hard to wait when your hands stuck in the sink

>watching baseball
wew lad

>>66594711
cant wait for it to hit 300

>>66594688
EXCELLENT post

baseball is retarded

>>66594672
My dad says I have to talk to them

Normally at a mall

Really makes me think

>>66594672
dunno, americans can't really handle their piss so they might get a bit too drunk on that to consent

Cumwalks are hot, it's like you're marking your property as a man

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>>66594697
me on the right

>>66594730

t. retard

>>66594747
but he's right

>>66594732
I'm usually out after a few wine coolers.

I got two packages in the mail that shipped on Sunday 3-day priority that NEED to be here by Saturday, what are the chances they'll be here?

>>66594672
>wanting to get absolutely shitface hammered before speaking to a girl
fuck me mate, save that shit for when you're partying with the lads

>>66594711
It's just snot on her face

>>66594765

except he's not

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CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM

>>66594770
If you send them yesterday, at least 90%

>>66594770
hope you don't live in georgia

http://pix11.com/2016/10/23/postal-worker-is-caught-on-video-dumping-bin-after-bin-of-mail-in-the-woods/

>>66594770
80%

What's the occasion

>>66594672
just bee yourself

>>66594728
thx bra

>baseball games with all the pauses taken out
>under 10 minutes long
ah yes
so-called "baseball"

>Cubs

>>66594770
>NEED

what did u get?

negroes

>>66594816
You're mistaken that with American football you moron

There's no time in baseball, an inning could last 3 hours

>>66594831
It's a can of coke

>>66594816
>soccer
>80 minutes of jogging
>10 minutes of actual running
>10 seconds of actual shooting
>still ends 0-0

>>66594816

>English premier league
>play one game
>international break
>season resumes
>another international break

ah yes, "soccer"

>>66594831
Coke can obviously

>>66594765
It's the only sport I can follow along with.

I haven't been diagnosed with autism, but there's probably something wrong with my brain anyways.

>>66594831
Looks like a can of soft drink, coke?

>>66594831
Bud light?

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>>66594843
>>66594848

ooooooooh so close yet so far lads

>>66594802
damn...

>>66594799
>>66594803
good to know

>>66594826
mdma for an event on saturday night

cum lol

>>>66594810
yo dat shit be jumpin

>>66594831
can of coke...duhh

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>>66594873
Grooovy mATE!

>>66594873

there he is, there he goes again

>>66594810
it blew me away

>>66594899
Wake up Jeff!

>>66594899
The wiggles all are kill, they died in a limo accident in vegas

>>66594872
>mdma

but that's illegal

>>66594899
which one is kirk?

fuck me right in the gabber

>>66594873
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.


I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little comment p and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the picture. Oh, and we all know the comment. The "epic" "lol, cum", isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your Doritos on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about a north american general. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic australian NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "LOL, CUM." You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.


Forever...

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>gabber

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>fuck me in the gabber

>>66594986
can somoene help me find the humor in making fun of people who dress funny? i really want to enjoy it too, please help me

>>66594727
that's a bad word

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>tfw I've been running and dieting for 2 weeks now and I'm still a fat fuck
When does this diet shit pay off
I did lose 15-20 pounds already though.

Gaddafi was one of the greatest leaders of the 20 century. If the US had a white-protestant version of Gaddafi this would be the greatest country on the planet

rec me a movie like watership down, felidae, or the plague dogs lads

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>>66595024
Some of those people who dress funny or half-assedly anachronistically with cargo pants, t-shirt, jacket, and trillby/fedora take themselves very seriously, along with their sophistication.

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/cum/

>>66595044
If nothing else, killing him was a huge mistake.

What's water sports mean in porn

>>66595060
that one has to be intentional

Gaddafi was a good lad USA should nuke Israel.

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>bloomberg (You) terminal gives me an alert
>someone replied
>get back on /cum/ to cash in on the (You)
>it's someone not getting it

Sunk 5 grand in this machine and it's giving me alerts to shit replies.

>>66595076
just google it

>>66595076
peeing on the lads

>>66595071
Why do burgers always fuck everything up?

>>66595086
agreed

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Does this mean that I'm getting 5 hats?

>>66595125
Our elites have to look out for their paychecks.

>>66595174
Fucking money, always ruining everything.

War on money when?!

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>>66595192
We primitivists now.

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>>66595024
The fedora meme is meant to poke fun at pretentious behavior by pointing out silly physical appearances of people who have lost touch with reality or lack self-awareness, but it's also used in response to Americans copying British words and phrases.

>>66595250
Fuck it im down.

Wife raid when?!

>>66595192
I don't care about money but Jews do let's hang them.

>>66595317
why can't the chicanos act like you?

>>66595125
We did fuck-all, this is on France and the EU.

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>>66594672
First you gotta make plans to pick them up

>"OI STACE, LET ME COME PICK YOU UP THEN."
>"WHAT? NAH, I GOT ME OWN AUTO."
>"WHAT? YEAH, IT'S THE NUMBER 3 TO DOWNTOWN"
>"I'll COME PICK YOU UP AT 7."
>"RIGHT. DON'T FORGET TO BRING YOUR OYSTER."

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Is this legit

>>66595371

no, it creates mustard gas

>>66595291
>but it's also used in response to Americans copying British words and phrases.

only that part is forced by some really butthurt people for some reason

>>66595371

>13 isn't skipped

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>>66595371
>13th floor

>>66595371
Yes. Just like the code for getting into any gated community/apartment complex.

>>66595338
Because Chicanos are Americanized in a bad way.

>>66595317
You don't care for money because you have none.

>>66595371
this is a chinese elevator. in chinese the number four is taboo because it sounds like death. so they skip floors with 4 in them

>>66595432
So what do you want me to do with it? shove it up your arse mate you can be a wageslave if you want.

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>>66595387

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would this go well with my grilled salmon buds

>>66595470
You're not even making sense. You're against successful people because you're poor. It's ok. Just like having no ambitions makes it easier to cope with being a loser.

>>66595501
This guy should be the next v*peman

>>66595489
It's not my ambition to be rich like everyone else even tho I'm studying a stem career.

>i believe in jesus

*tips*

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Opinions on this show?

>>66595501
ayyyyyyy nyc train

>>66595525
He's the CEO of Google.

>>66595529
So do you plan on donating much of your earnings? If so, good for you, if not, then why the fuck are you STEM?

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>>i believe in jesus

>*tips*

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>tfw mom is now retired and is traveling to these cool places and she didn't took me further than san francisco on the north and meshitco shity down to south and now she is going to spend christmas in fucking europe

>>66595562
Because I'm only interested in software engineering and I have in mind creating something instead of working for a company.

>>66595562
Is it still being a wageslave if you love what you do and you're not dependent on your next paycheck for your livelihood?

>>66595597
lol good luck

>tfw too smart to enjoy comedy

>>66595597
and you plan on doing this with what money?

Nevermind, you're fucking retarded.

>>66595547
it's pretty neato

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how do you cope with extremely depressing news, /cum/?

I push it down deep in the depths of my consciousness and chase it with copious amounts of liquor

>>66595620
>Is it still being a wageslave if you love what you do and you're not dependent on your next paycheck for your livelihood?

>wageslave

There's that dumb fucking buzzword again... STOP.

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>tfw to smart to invest in a 401k

>>66595634
I don't need money to program mate.

I think my bank is stealing 8 cents from me every other week

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>Having a bank account

>>66595664
You need money for food and shelter and expensive call girls

>>66595669
Checking account? Are you meeting the minimum deposit per month?

>>66595664
I could list all the obvious necessities one needs in life, even a humble, simplistic livelihood but it sounds like you've either got it all figured out, or you're beyond delusional and retarded. Either way I'm done here, I'm going to get beer and watch the WS.

unnngh.... unghhhhh...... OH yes mmmmmhh dont stop

>>66595699
Yes, checking

I have direct deposit, so all my paychecks go directly there. I bank with a small local bank so it can be a glitch

>>66595710
>>66595682
That's what I'm saying I only want it for basic stuff.

>>66595721
*doesnt stop*

>>66595721
daddy stop

>>66595741
DAD NO

>>66595732
I'd check with them tomorrow ASAP. Even small banks don't require more than $100 a month deposited before they charge you about $5-$10 a month. So if they're really taking literal pennies from you, It's gotta be a glitch.

>>66595766
Spend well pupper

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Fuck off pupper

>>66595766
I am blessed by poverty in His world.

>>66595766
spend well puppers

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>>66595741
>>66595753
thanks daddy ;)
going for a walk now

Do Yanks and cancucks have night clubs?

>>66595766
spend well pupper

>>66595881
No we dance in the street naked while we shoot our guns in the air and Canada comes and spreads maple syrup all over our nipples so Mexico can come and lick it off.

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>>66595881
Is this sarcasm

>>66595911
Dubs of truth

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>>66595024
>stuck a feather in his cap
wew lad

>>66595881
Are you retarded?

>i don't own a fedora

>hiccups are back
>puck bucket is slowly filling back up
think i puked all the milk i drank to try and calm my stomach and i already flushed the bagel i puked ;_;
why did i have to eat that bagel it started this all over again

>>66596013
Your struggles really fill me with pity and sadness.

>>66596013
Stop drinking you dumbshit.

Go for a run, even if you bust ass, get back up and fucking run, get your lungs working.

*checks to see if got any (You)s*
none
I can finally reply to my gf's texts.

Anybody hae any funny YouTube videos?

considering wearing a fedora ironically

>>66596042
i have only been drinking water all day anon
i just want the cups to stop ;_;
i just puked agin fuck

>>66596045
>not having the chrome extension
>not having text (You) alerts
>not syncing your PC with reply alerts
>not owning a Bloomberg 4chan Reply Terminal

Get with the times gramps

>>66596047
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Of7x7ag7lm8

I had a very weird dream.
I dreamed that I was a virgin girl in like her 20s and I met a very awesome man who I decided to marry and love and everything. I sucked his dick and I was extremely servant, obedient, submissive, etc to him, spoiling him, etc, basically being the wife I wish I had myself and very loving.
I've never had thought about being homosexual or anything before. Always watched straight porn, etc. Should I be concerned?

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what did he mean by this?

>>66594672
She'll smell the alcohol and want to get away.

>>66595501
where2cop jacket?

>>66595766
Spend well pupper

>>66594802
>The USPS has started an investigation. An investigation into the matter has already been started by the USPS.

Who is writing this trash?

>>66596208
Did he bring the chair with him or are they just lying around?

>>66596224
Dunno

>there are people who unironically support the police because of "muh niggars"
Literally more edge than anarchism.

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>white and black trailer trash trump supporters do more crime than immigrants
JUST

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Deep

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i hate chihuahuas

Many don't realize that while I put on a facade of hating coloreds for a variety of reasons, truly I hate them because they're unaesthetic.

>>66596199
Unpaid intern working an extra job high on caffeine and adderall.

>>66596157
I could see myself doing something like that.

>>66596287
i have a long hair chihuahua

>>66596288
desu this is the only reason why I hate Asians.

>>66596249
lol okay

>>66596249
pew research center
jew research center
Coincidence? One can't be so sure...

The main problem today is that its simply too easy to survive. 30,000 years ago I would have just been culled by natural selection, instead I am forced to suffer in a relatively easy life.

>>66596312
are you a CHI

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>The main problem today is that its simply too easy to survive. 30,000 years ago I would have just been culled by natural selection, instead I am forced to suffer in a relatively easy life.

>>66596362
Mostly white trash own chihuahuas, Chicanos own Pitbulls from shit lineage, not proper American Staffordshire Terriers.

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>>66596339
>white people

>>66596387
>>66596362
im a middle class mexican-american spic yes'

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>The main problem today is that its simply too easy to survive. 30,000 years ago I would have just been culled by natural selection, instead I am forced to suffer in a relatively easy life.

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>tfw the song hits too close to home
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOSxM0rNPM

>>66595649
this

>>66595547

>>66595371
4, 14, and 24 are skipped...spooky

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>>66596407
>im a middle class mexican-american spic

Chale

I get fedora posted on average three times a day

>>66594626
could you dumbcunts stop posting pictures of jizz everywhere? getting tired of hiding your stupid fucking threads

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>I get fedora posted on average three times a day

>want to stop Christianity
>Atheists are typically responsible and have few offspring
>Redneck trailer trash have 8 kids and teach them all to be Christian trash like themselves

Lots of CTR shills on here..... Trump 2016!

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>>66596471

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>Lots of CTR shills on here..... Trump 2016!

I fucking delivered food to that tiny Turkish man today. I swear it was him, and he didn't tip me

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>Lots of CTR shills on here..... Trump 2016!

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>>66596315
Even the whores?

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Who /chi/ here

>>66596506
>>66596496
>how to trigger ctr.jpg
fuck off cuckholds...

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>fuck off cuckholds...

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>>66596535
Right here ese

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>>66596471

>>66596558
What does this even mean?

>>66596585
Nothing, I just wanted to post this image.

>>66595766
spend well pupper

i'm kinda tired of all of this
wake me up please

If I could kill my roommate and get away with it, I'd do it.

>>66596338
Wew. This meme works better when it's shorter and about one topic.

>>66596692
Have thought about this as well.

>>66596692

literally me, except theres 2 of them

>>66596701
Watching Psycho-Pass is giving me ideas. I wish I could into chemistry.

>>66596715
nobody on 4chan likes reddit tho

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Caught up with an old friend today.
I forgot how good it feels to socialize.
I need to get out more.

>>66596726
A lot do.

Nice opening
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b9bje9WDA8

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>>66596726

>>66596726
Clearly you haven't been on /pol/.

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>the Chicago cubs

/r/the_donald is one of the best places on the internet on the internet so can you guys stfu

>>66596818

you forgot to mention CTR shills and cuckoldry

>>66595766
spend well pupper

>>66596842
5 cents have been deposited

>>66596842
if u arent voting for trump is already proven... you are either a berncuck or a shill...
so

s
t
f
u

>>66595766
spend well pupper

what should I fap to mates?

I love you

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>>66596930
This right here

>>66596943
what sort of autist makes this garbage

>>66596922
stein nigger.

>>66596922
What if you don't vote at all?

>>66596930
Fantasize about being your own ideal woman.
Fantasize that you meet yourself, but your other self doesn't realize the woman you see is yourself.
Fantasize that the both forms of you have passionate and intimate sex, from the perspective of the woman.

>>66596976
not voting is a vote for shillary
..cuck..

i think the bull should be called the cucker and the cuck should be called the cuckee

>>66596999
that doesn't make sense

>Cubs

>>66595062
what the fuck is this https://twitter.com/knorrie886

>>66597009
he's upside down satan, aka /pol/ spreading horseshit outside his containment board

>baseball

>>66596922
No, just a Hillary supporter. :)

>VIRGINia

i love anime

>>66597035
Your either a cuckold, a whore, a beaner, or a nigger.

>>66597035
nice try (((CTR))) we know those dont even exist
go look at a hillary rally... cuck

>white minority

important question
http://www.strawpoll.me/11508032
http://www.strawpoll.me/11508032

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I don't get why some of you visit 4chan and still are not voting for the Donald.

>"""""""""""confederate"""""""""""""" blue states

>>66597077
bc 4chan isn't exclusive to white supremacists and bigots

>>66597077
i dont get why autist weaboos on neetbucks would vote trump

>The Cubbies

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i have to "wake up" in less than two hours but since 10 am I have not closed my eyes my shitposting never stops. I don't know what to do with my life.

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>>66595086

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>>66597122
You know the man has to be right when even all of neet weebs are voting republican.

>""""""""american"""""""""" mexican states

>>66597160

Im not

>>66597160
>getting rid of neetbucks
>lol he has to be right if neet weaboos are voting for him
no his voters are just fucking stupid

>>66597152
Gaddafi was so based

post in my /qa/ thread

>>>/qa/781552

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gonna exercise by watching ani tore ex today

>>66597035
The Clintons are completely desperate.
Earlier today I was on infinity chan's /k/, and out of fucking nowhere some strelok comes up and starts memeing about how trump is an anti guns statist and why we should be voting for clinton. He admitted on the same thread to be a CTR shill.

What's /cum/ listening to tonight?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUGzY-ihqWc

>>66597239
>I swear I wasn't rused, guys!

>>66597175
>>66597188
Not the quoted but I've never seen the equivalent of this >>66596943 for Clinton.

the fact that pol legitimately believes there are thousands of shills on every corner of the internet shilling at all times makes me either laugh or be happy that clinton made so many jobs from it

>>66597239
>Earlier today I was on infinity chan's /k/

Stopped reading

Might move to NYC lads.

>>66597282

are you filthy rich?

if you're not, you're kinda outta luck

Post qts from your area

>>66597278
I like to believe they're just trolling and are truly Clinton supporters. Nobody can be that legitimately retarded and high functioning.

I say this as someone who isn't even voting this election. Fuck both of them.

>>66597296
Don't feel like posting pics of me desu

>>66597261
>i've never seen epic anime trump memes so it must mean trump is winning
autism

I think I want to be a data analyst or administrator or just work with data in general.

>>66597295
Middle class and why?

>>66597313
epic anime hillary memes*

>>66597254
shit taste desu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_ItbRbbFI0

>>66597308
That's ok, Quebecois girls are better.

>>66597328

NYC is the most expensive place to live in the entire united states

>>66597313
Name one (1) circumstance in which a presidential managed to get NEETs and weeaboos into politics.

>>66597338
i dont care

>>66597338
I don't get this meme
North Carolina will be blue.

>>66597353
ron paul will make anime real

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>>66597351
>implying i'm a grill

>>66597352
Isn't that California? I also had in mind going there but I hate the hot weather and plus it's more like a giant suburb.

>>66597365
>implying anime isn't already real

File: oh well.jpg (3MB, 3120x4160px) Image search: [Google]

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Reminder that pepe raised us like its kids and now we're turning our backs against him.

>>66597360
NC was red in 2012 moron
>>66597358
cant wait until NAFTA is ripped up and there's a WALL

we'll have a /trump/ general for all north americans north of the WALL

>>66597390
This is completely subjective.
Is Mickey Mouse real?
What is real?

>>66597301
i agree. though i've been talked into mb voting 3rd party lately bc it could be a landslide for hill. if the greens pull 5% nationally they unlock federal funding that puts them in the game nationally for future elections and offices. it'd be huge and would give them juice to actually start a groundswell and a dissenting voice as a party

>>66597381
I only want girl qts figglet

>>66597383

you'd think so, but NYC even leads over Silicon valley/SF real estate

my dick is brown and i have hairy balls

>>66597397
>NC was red in 2020 moron
And? When Truman was elected California turned red and Texas blue

>>66597415
same

>>66597024
Why is Northern Europe so autistic?

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>>66597397

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>>66597403
donald duck is

>>66597383
youre going to be paying 1000 usd to share a small apartment with someone out in queens or the bronx... maybe even staten island

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the future you choose...

>>66597077
Because I'm not a clinically autistic 14-year old who masturbates to pictures of Vladimir Putin while muttering "cuck" and "nigger" over and over.

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>>66597423

Texas and CA were both blue

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>>66597408
O-oh, ok.

>tfw no american bf

>>66597443
mama mia

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>>66597443
*intercepts behind u*

I masturbated to gay porn three times this week and tranny (straight) porn once

>>66597461
>>66597461
>>66597461
>>66597461
>>66597461

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>>66596287
My friend had a chihuahua, and we took it with us to visit his dying grandmother.

The dog started humping his hand and me and his buddies we were giggling while a pastor was praying.

>>66597462
*reaches into your cockpit* OwO what's this?

>>66597465

thats a very homosexual thing to do

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>>66597254
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OERixQR-hxY

J U L I A
U
L
I
A

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>>66597443

>>66597254
>>66597254
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKmoNWWSf70

Johnny may cash my boo.