Applel keynote 9

ANIMOJI

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>people think this looks good

IT JUST WERKS

>a grown man making faces on screen
>current year

Niggershit

No more sneakily checking you messages under your desk at work/in school

Hahahah fuuuuuuck

GREEN BUBBLE FAGGOTS BTFO

GREEN BUBBLE FAGGOTS BTFO

GREEN BUBBLE FAGGOTS BTFO

GREEN BUBBLE FAGGOTS BTFO

APPLE INVENTED FURRIES

it just works
until you try to unlock your phone.

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>>62389849
Rate my new phone case.

>>62389849
>EAR JIGGLE PHYSICS

White skin is so disgusting

WE GET TO ANIMATE POOP

>>62389849
it doesn't even capture the gestures decently good

>>62389849
Can we get blackface?

>>62389849
TouchID is still better. One click and opens, while with FaceID I have to look at swipe and don't close eyes, look straight ahead. TouchID I usually unlock as I'm picking it up.

>snap stock literally goes up 2% off filters at the apple conference

cant make this shit up

>innovation
I feel sorry for Apple. I really do.

POO

>>62389903
everything is a meme now

>>62389849
YOU FUCKED UP THE FORMAT

FaceID demo fail. Lmao!!!

The future is poop

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>tfw android user so I don't have to deal with people sending me this shit

I'm glad Steve isn't alive to see this

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>This whole presentation

Well that does it.. I'm getting a 6s

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POO

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oh no....

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APPLE WILL REVOLUTIONIZE YIFFING WITH ANIMATED EMOJIIS

Can I use the iPhone X to become sexy girl?

This is embarrassing holy fuck.

AYYLMAO

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Ru-oh.

APPLE INVENTED SNAPCHAT

ANDROID BTFO

>>62389957
DESIGNATED

>>62389913
ITS SHIT STOP POSTING THIS REEEEEEEEEEEEE

How do I even watch this, do I really need an apple device or windows 10?

wow that was shit. Like mid 2000s webcam tech

>tfw no news about zen based macs.

>animojis are prime examples of how shit their face tech is
>faceid failed on stage
>the wedge looks like shit against non-black

>>62389965
>that image set

so fucking good

>>62389964
who?

>>62389942

Just why

>>62389899
I unironically think this looks good and also pls kys

>>62389931
>being retarded enough to use fingerprint sensors

AYYYYYYYYYYY LMAO

freetards BTFO

>>62389932
Welcome to meme economy.

>All that technology and Animoji is what Apple comes up with

INTO THE TRASH IT GOES

>>62389979
Use edge you stupid fuck

I am concerned this keynote could end up giving me cancer, both physically and mentally

1299USD

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What is his problem?

>>62389982
LAGDROIDS ARE LITERALLY THIS DELUSIONAL

AYYYYYY LMAO

>2.4 f aperture lets in more light

what?

Forever staying on a SE

Fuck all this shit I want to die.

this is like that technology they use to conduct fake interviews like that one with julian assange

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I WANT TO GET OFF MR JOBS WILD TIMELINE

>>62390000
Why is it bad?

What the Fuck are "deeper Pixels"?

>>62390018

Ayy lmao

>>62390018
and i'm free
free faaaalling

>its a "in order to make some useless feature work, apple gets rid of a feature people actually use" episode
sick of this rerun

>>62389996
matias duarte, back in 2012 at the android 4.0 launch

>>62389957
POO ENGINEERING CRASHING APPLE STOCK

>POO ENGINEERING CRASHING APPLE STOCK

POO ENGINEERING CRASHING APPLE STOCK

>POO ENGINEERING CRASHING APPLE STOCK

POO ENGINEERING CRASHING APPLE STOCK

>POO ENGINEERING CRASHING APPLE STOCK

samsung ceo crying himself to sleep tonight

>>62390000
>implying I can't get your pass with a $5 hammer

>no new macbook announcement
>have to wait till summer

>>62389979
mpv https://appleliveevents-i.akamaihd.net/hls/live/222436/17oiubaewrvouhboiubasdfv09/master/4500/4500.m3u8

I WANT A STEVE JOBS ANIMOJI SO I CAN SHOUT AT PEOPLE AND CALL THEM RETARDS

>>62390018
seems about right

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>mfw applel still doesnt have quick charging

>>62390042
Pixels that really makes you think

>>62389957
They are truly expanding to the Indian market

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>>62389943
This

>>62389965
>>62389994
Who's the artist?

im not feeling it :/

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WHO IS FUCKING READY?!

Apple made a YUGE mistake...
>ANTIFA wear masks
>librul millennials are ANTIFA
>Apple demographic is mostly ANTIFA

>>62390069
cheers mate

>>62389979
>Linuxfags btfo

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just fuck my game GUI up, senpai

>more buzzwords
>no specs

You can fuck off now Apple. And take your emotes with you.

>>62390035
Get off my lawn

>>62390026
He knows he's getting fired after that face recognition fail, so he just decided to go full retard for the rest of the presentation.

my stream died for 15 seconds
did anything cool happen

is this the ultimate normie phone?

>>62390041
They can be lifted off trivially, and your fingerprints are permanent and you leave them everywhere.

how does one take a screenshot on the X?

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>>62389970
Down down down

>>62390093
APPLE FUCKED THEIR OWN SHIT UP HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>62390018
Spotted the guy who bought Apple stocks before the reveal expecting them to rise because the new iPhone will actually be good.

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can you pick the point where ponyshit changed the game?

>>62389849
Why have the le ebin oled screen so dim while demoing it after praising its brightness 2 minutes earlier?

>>62390074
yeah this happens every time
already unloaded my apple this morning

APPLE INVENTED SELFIES

ANDROID BTFO

All I see is an android phone? WTF

>>62390127
you send a dick pic to Tim

>>62390076
It helps that you don't need to charge it every 8 hours while constantly turning off every background process, though.

>>62390127
You ask Siri.

>>62390127
you dont lmao

>>62389999
you probably think sandals with socks also looks good

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Would you?

>>62390093
But muh government gibs goes to Antifa, so they don't pay for the phone themselves.

>>62390131
TUMBLING DOWN TUMBLING DOWN

LOOK AT ALL THOSE BEAUTIFUL IPHONE 4 EDGES. SUCH A MODERN DESIGN!

>>62390120
Steve Jobs appeared

portrait mode selfies

wait... aren't all selfies done in portrait mode?

>>62390113
So this is the power of the iPhone X

>>62390164

Yes

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>>62390113
That shit also messed with photos and videos. At least the essential phone would cut off the bit to the side of the camera if the app didn't support it.

>>62390125
applel touchID was designed under the steve regime and had depth detection. you couldn't force it open without the person making a 3d mold

Okay I made up my mind, I'm getting the new Note

>>62389913
Shit tier

LASTS 2 HOURS

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>Steve died for this

>>62390164
Maybe the stud up front.

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>$1000, your dignity and privacy for a snapchat machine
Droidfags on suicide watch

The iPhone 8 will probably be quicker, because they're using the same processor, but the iPhone X pushes more pixels

>>62390121
All phones are.

What happens to when something runs full screen?

the galaxy s9 will be much better and $500 cheaper

>>62390131
>>62390140
>>62390018

Welcome to your first Apple presentation, what do you think of the Buzzwords? Apple's stock always goes down during announcements, it'll shoot up in the coming months after earning reports, as it always does.

t. Apple stock owner.

APPLE INVENTED BATTERY LIFE

>Animojis
Why!?

>>62390127
Such a niche feature is not included by default, but you can buy a $2.99 app for that.

>>62389903
>implying it's being marketed to grown men and not angsty teens

>>62390131
>oh no it dropped from 163 to 161 !!.111!!
>APPLEL IS FINISHED!!!

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i thought rumors were that the X wouldn't have wireless?

>>62390127
Sopena the NSA for a remote viewing recording

>>62390127
volume + power button

>2 more hours

2 HOURS

HAHAHHAHAHAHA

>>62390113
my autism could not handle this

ayy can someone help me get a song from this album?
I keep trying to find Midnight Dancehall (Instrumental) but it's only available on itunes.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/its-my-thing-instrumentals/id941556975

>>62390120
Steve Jobs killed Cook on screen and announced Mac Pro with dual Epyc processors and Quad Crossfire Navi.

>>62389849
PORTRAIT MODE

FOR WHEN YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE YOU"RE SINKING INTO THE FUCKING VOID

>a now meme company's stock is plummeting

No shit. There was nothing innovative in this keynote. Just gimmicks and memes.

>muh selfies

>>62390196
Pleb. It cost me $1400

apple is so late with all this shit, sad

> two more hours of all day battery life

what

>>62390213
i sold this morning

when should i scoop up discounted shares?

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2012

2 HOUR BATTERY LIFE

>>62390210
Will had better screen

APPLE INVENTED WIRELESS CHARGING

BATTERY LASTS MORE THAN 2 VERSIONS AGO BUT NOT ITS PREDECESSOR!!!!!!!!!!!

> Two more hours of an all-day battery life.
How does this make sense?

It's all day, or it's not.

>devices will come to the market because of iPhone 10
Apple, I...

>>62390213
I still wouldn't invest - though it is obvious it will go up after the product is released.

>>62390210
>$500 cheaper
Kek, it's gonna be 1k usd easy, just like note 8

>>62390238
see >>62390213

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You retards need to stop making new threads.
One is enough.

The first one still didn't die.

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holy shit, 2 cores, how can /g recover?

WOW

SAMSHIT BTFO

GOOGLEL BTFO

.....so a wide Qi charger. How is this a new idea?

Will this be costlier than the macbook?

AIRPOWER

>>62390183
The mold is trivial to make with glue, you just have to lift the fingerprint, which is harder. But it can be done, as opposed to a good entropy passprase

>>62389999
>>62390000

confirmed for comfiest snapchat machine

THIS ISN'T A NEW FUCKING IDEA!

INNOVATION

And how long does it take to charge all those devices? 12 hours?

lol stop saying Chi

WTF WTF WTF NO MORE CABLES THIS IS INNOVATION

>>62390268
That's what happens when MODS DONT MAKE A STICKY *COUGH COUGH****

PLACE YOUR DICK ON IT AND IT'LL BECOME SEXUALLY CHARGED

APPLE INVENTED WIRELESS CHARGING

ANDROID FAGS BTFO

>THEY ALL CHARGE

CABLE BTFO

Whatever happened to powermat?

>>62390268
blame the newfag mods

AIR

APPLE INVENTED AIR

i once put my nokia on the table at mcdonalds and IT started to charge

>revolutionary
>is just a large charge pad
What is so special about this?

>>62390268
MODS NOT CREATING A STICKY RRRREEEEEE

>>62389957
>download over 1000 smilies FOR FREE! *CLICK HERE*
its like these stupid ads 10 years ago.

Lay your dick on it and it'll start to charge

>>62390268
the very first thread got 404d

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APPLE
INVENTED
POWER

>>62390238
They can't keep up with the competition. They just copy everything. Even from Windows Phone. Can't wait until they are going to use live tiles.

>>62390272
THEY ALL CHARGE

A I R P O W E R

WITH THE POWER OF THE AIR!

>>62390268
it's a single autist that keeps making new threads every time the bump limit is reached. sorry.

6-7 years late as always

>>62390314
/d2g/ fuck off

CABLES BTFO


ABSOLUTELY BTFO

AIRPOWER

>>62390270
Learn to read.

FUCK OFF JOHNNY. FUCK YOU

NO USBC?

Holy fuck. Fuck off Apple literally kill yourselves

POWER AIR MY NIGGERS!!!!

jonny ive

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>>62390314

>>62390268
It's literally an Apple shill

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>grown men are discussing and clapping for emojis

Things are taking a steady turn to the surreal since jobs died

>tfw using iphone right fucken now
Should I just end it

Yeah, think i am just going to get a note 8 for around the same price.

>we are supporting the open standard Qi
>but here is our proprietary one that's way better

oh apple

A I R P O W E R

There is nothing here that makes me want to upgrade my iphone SE

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>AIRPOWER

YES
JONY IVE DESIGN VIDEO

CAN'T WAIT FOR THE MEMES

>>62390318
That's actually pretty neat

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Apple Stock Tumbles After Facial Unlock Fails During iPhone X Unveil

>jony ive
TELL ME SWEET SWEET LIES

I honestly hope investors finally see the truth
this iphone is trash compared with what is already available in the market

BIG JONY

Here's Johnny

>>62390318
wow now i just have to carry this hunk of plastic AND a cord with instead of just a cord
apple does it again with this innovashun

>applel invented electricity

He said iPhone 10? I though it was X

Wow. Buy our dock ($199)

>>62390318
AIR POWAH

I fucking hate this cunt. The chinks and japs beat you to the bezelless shit

OUR GOD IVE

>>62390317
WE ALL CHARGE DOWN HERE
COME CHARGE WITH US

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>>62390162
you fuckin bet

ANNOUNCE GIRL POWER NEXT

I don't fucking get it
What's the difference of just plugging your phone on an outlet?

did they mention pricing?

>THE PHONE CHARGES

NOTCHARGEFAGS BTFO

>>62390368
RIP APPLE

>british accent so it must be classy

u know this long fucking talk is to drop the 1299usd price

so that bitches can complain about it for a week before buying one

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>airPower
apple win baby

>>62390394

Not yet

>>62390268
WE ALSO HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS
WE ALSO HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS
WE ALSO HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS
WE ALSO HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS

HOLY FUCK THAT CHARGE SOUND I CAME

1299!

My nigga Jonny

WOW APPLE INVENTED WIRELESS CHARGING.

THIS SPECIAL CASE FOR YOUR HEADPHONES FOR JUST $99

>Microsoft skips 9
>Apple skips 9
Why don't Tech companies like the number 9?

WHY NO USBC???

REEEEEEEEEE

apple pls stop this video is making me lose $$ as your stock plummets

>>62390357
Isn't that the best of both worlds, though? Qi is pretty shit and slow, but it's nice to have because it's "ubiquitous". But if you're home or something you can also use their own, better standard.

>>62390379
X is 10 in roman numerals you fucking mong. Do you pronounce it OH ES ECKS?

>>62390394
your first born

can I put my iphone under a running tap and wireless charge??

>>62390350
Basically my thoughts during this whole thing.
It's like some next level mass infantilism going on.
The elites can't cull the population fast enough, this shit has gone too far.

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>Working at iPhone repair shop
>People start breaking the iPhone X's

>quit job

>>62390330
WHITE POWER
AIR POWER IS WHITE
APPLE CONFIRMED /OURGUYS/

>WHITE POWER
>AIR POWER IS WHITE
>APPLE CONFIRMED /OURGUYS/

WHITE POWER
AIR POWER IS WHITE
APPLE CONFIRMED /OURGUYS/

>WHITE POWER
>AIR POWER IS WHITE
>APPLE CONFIRMED /OURGUYS/

WHITE POWER
AIR POWER IS WHITE
APPLE CONFIRMED /OURGUYS/

>WHITE POWER
>AIR POWER IS WHITE
>APPLE CONFIRMED /OURGUYS/

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>flood illuminator
nod to the hurricane victims?

>>62390399

He's from the UK so of course he has a British accent

Not this Jonny Faggot...

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>tiny space

>>62390162
It does if done right. This phone looks like fucking garbage though.
>>62390388
w2c cargos

>>62390415
cirno a bitch

> There are people in this thread that can't afford apple products
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

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>>62389942

based

>do a facial surgery
>can't unlock your $1k iphone

>>62390415
because they're all ADD/ADHD and 10 is a cool number apparently

>>62390415
Samsung will do this too, just watch.

>AirPower

Wait, they were being serious?

7MP front facing camera

REVOLUTIONARY!

>remove physical buttons
>keeping volume buttons and vibrate switch

>>62390415
[spoiler]7 8 9[/spoiler]

>>62390415
its just an upside down 6

>>62390415
Death number in Papua New Guinea

How was this revolutionary like the original iPhone?

Jobs is spinning at the speed of light in his grave

>>62390421
It hasn't been called OS X for years, it's called macOS.

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>tfw a furniture designer designs a phone way better than you ever could

Jony on suicide watch

Everytime I look at my phone it unlocks? How retarded is that.

fuck me my mom is buying one of these for 1000 fucking pounds

>>62390419
Ports are a thing of the past sweetie. The next Iphone won't have one.

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AR AR AR AR AR AR AR

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>>62390229
pls help

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>>62390415
Cirno btfo.

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>when you realize apple lost 6 billion in market cap off a failed demo

Cringe

>>62390448
I can afford it, but why buy it?
It sucks

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Can't wait for the schematics to leak. Wondering how that laser sensor interfaces to the APU.

everyone do VR, based apple do AR. fugg vr is ded lads

>>62389849
Ebin

>>62390455
Kinda makes me wish people held off on the 'microwave charging' prank a little longer.

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>OLED sucks, it's bad!
>Not nearly as good as Super Retina!
>Our Retina is superior.
>The highest end Iphone X has an OLED screen.
>Mfw

This is just a bunch of gimmicks there is no WOW feature

wtf apple

Who are those people in the video? Actors?

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>>62390440
Y-you... YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!!! BAKA!!!!!!!!!!

i like the phone but i dont want this fucking fingerprint or faceID bullshit...

think u can turn that shit off?

>The emoji thing is actually a feature

fucking hell what a joke

what the shit, who the fuck asked for a neural network shit

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>>62390469
is this the end of Apple?

>>62390468
I know, how does that change my point that it (was) OS 10 and not OS ECKS. Just like it's iPhone 10, not iPhone ECKS

>>62390469
If only OLED!

>>62390469
>still can't be encrypted
>chink botnet

>>62390486
wat anime

yea not feeling it :/

>>62390486
It happens every fucking year, newfag.

>>62390489
The same reasons I always buy apple products. Because it's expensive and I love the tears from the poor faggots

>>62390513
probably

>>62390277
NEW THREAD
>>62390277
NEW THREAD
>>62390277
NEW THREAD
>>62390277
NEW THREAD
>>62390277
NEW THREAD

>Woz is not impressed

>>62390448
I can afford you're moms penis lmao

1000 DOLLAR PHONES

WELCOME TO THE FUTURE

ANDROID BTFO
APPLE WON AGAIN

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Just leaving this here

>>62390507
It's a Samsung screen

999 US DOLLARS
>999 US DOLLARS
999 US DOLLARS
>999 US DOLLARS
999 US DOLLARS
>999 US DOLLARS
999 US DOLLARS
>999 US DOLLARS
999 US DOLLARS
>999 US DOLLARS
999 US DOLLARS
>999 US DOLLARS

>>62390513
Of course, it will probably have the usual pattern unlock

999.99

SUPAA RETINAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AIR POWAAAAAA

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What the fuck is that tune though?

>$999

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

>>62390525
Steins;Gate

Best anime.

>999
999
>999
999
>999
999
>999
999
>999
999
>999
999
C H E A P

$999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999
$999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999
$999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999
$999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999
$999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999 $999

>$999

>>62390533
Fuck off

>Wozniak
lol

>the glass is recyclable

Doesn't that mean it's weak shit?

1K
while all the youtube shills have dissed the note 8 for being too expensive

this is the sad world we live in

fucking called it

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wasn't the X supposed to come in 500gb?

>>62390439
>w2c cargos
idk

>>62390219
Being this dumb

999 USD what a joke

>>62390415

MS skipped 9 because a lot of legacy code referrs to Windows 95/98 as Windows 9

>>62390489
>I can afford it
doubt it
why else would you reply defensively to literally the most tired, shitty iTard bait in the book

>>62390513
You can disable it :^)

>>62390277
>>62390277
>>62390277
>>62390277
>>62390277

>>62390533
NEW THREAD
>>>/hm/1597139
NEW THREAD
>>>/hm/1597139
NEW THREAD
>>>/hm/1597139
NEW THREAD
>>>/hm/1597139
NEW THREAD

What was the last good Iphone?

SE is still the best phone they make

So what should i get bois, Mi Mix 2 or Note 8?

>>62390415
Because fuck samsung. "you're not a rival" "keep behind, pls"

>>62390113
ew

Honestly, how hard would it have been to cut out holes in the oled for the front facing cameras?

>>62390578
that's a lie

>>62390546
will it really be off tho?

>999
>999


HAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

nigger the puck has been there since 2016

>>62390542
This. And they can't keep up the yields.

>>62390157
Applel phones for so fast and you can't even change out the battery to never sorry about a charger

>>62390579
Just because I can afford it, I'm gonna buy a 1M dollar piece of turd

>>62390590
4s

>Windows 8.1 -> 10
>iPhone 8 -> 10
wtf

>>62390513
>>62390546
>Of course
If you can't turn it off with a hardware switch, you can't turn if off. Enjoy having your face scanned even with it "off" in software

>>62390595
$350 is a pretty nice price point for it too

FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY NINE U.S. DOLLARS

>>62390541
Theyve forgotten all their well developed UI patterns and fucked everything

>>62390604
It was confirmed by a Microsoft enginer.

File: 1503793171309.webm (2MB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1280x720px

BMWF
>BMWF
BMWF
>BMWF
BMWF
>BMWF
BMWF
>BMWF
BMWF
>BMWF

>>62390350
Begins gay men

>8 or 9 different iPhone models

Steve = rotating in his grave

>>62390628
He meant as a way to unlock it idiot

One thousand dollars. Top my kek.

File: 1485991924928.jpg (4KB, 217x250px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 217x250px

>>62390627

>>62390643
fucking jony

>>62390541
what am I looking at

File: wew.jpg (364KB, 3360x2100px) Image search: [Google]

364KB, 3360x2100px

Revolutionary user interface

>999$

looks like im staying on the 7 for a loooong time

>$1000 for 64gb

>s8 costs less and has microSD slot

JUST

>>62390627
seven ate nine :D

Great, this literal faggot again.

>>62390650
>it was a lie by a MS engineer
indeed, what did you want them to say? that they're trying to match OS TEN?

>>62390671
Literally 90's Apple.

>>62390350
You think is bad? Just imagine all these phone zombies walking the streets and making silly faces all the time everytime nonstop for the rest of your life.

>>62390693
Get the upgrade program cheapskate

>>62390625
see here you are still being defensive
if you actually could afford it, you wouldn't give a shit, because you would be confident in yourself and your choices to the point that something so retarded as "lol poorfags" that is constantly posted here wouldn't even be worth a reply

but here we are, because iShit makes you feel insecure you lash out at every little bait that comes your way, you're part of the consumer cancer that killed /g/

>>62390691
The death of modern UI and a terrible user experience, apple should be above the hamburger menu shit

fucking gay

>>62390719
OMG didnt think about this

NOW JUST ONE MORE THING

>muh Steve

They are still milking that dead man for all he's worth.