>want to squeeze some juice >juicer requires non-free

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How to use it: https://youtu.be/-i0UugILBJg

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This shit must be satire
tell me it's satire
FFS i want to nuke this company

There is just so much wrong with this.

Congratulations on getting capital for such a stupid idea though.

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Can anyone find more of a teardown than just this picture?

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>>59988672
juice quality is gonna be so consistent lads

>>59988476
$118M for this? People are beyond saving. There are probably a lot more shitty startup products which people will support for some reason. Ohh it has blinky lights and app, I better buy this.

Also that background music. For some reason every "technology" video uses that shitty xylophone background song.

>>59988790
>For some reason
cause apple did it

>>59988496
How could anyone possibly think any of this is a good idea?

>your juicer must be connected to the internet to make* juice!
>*by make we mean squish a bag, this retarded machine requires set up and internet connectivity to squish a fucking bag

Has science gone too far?

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>>59988822
Ask (((Doug)))

who's the fucking target consumer for this shit, vegan who wants to 10 layers of packaging for a fucking glass of cold vegetable soup?

>>59988890
Knew it.

>>59988919
Casey Neistat

>>59988919
>implying it refrigerates the liquid coming out.

hey :3

>>59988942
u think he's jewish, huh?

>>59988496
Jesus christ how horifying. What kind of retard buys thus shit.

>>59988890
god his voice is so damn condescending
like hes out of a movie

>has raised $118 million
>for this
Sometimes I wonder why I am so poor.
Maybe I should throw my integrity away and become a hipster in the SV. Imma disrupt the standing desk market just watch.

>>59989125
>integrity
yep, that's reason why you aren't raking in the jew gold.

>>59988496
https://youtu.be/5lutHF5HhVA
No juicier needed.

>>59988790
>that shitty xylophone background song

That's a marimba

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>$699
>doesnt even play bluray

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https://medium.com/@Juicero/a-note-from-juiceros-new-ceo-cb23a1462b03

>The first closed loop food safety system that allows us to remotely disable Produce Packs if there is, for example, a spinach recall. In these scenarios, we’re able to protect our consumers in real-time.


>tfw juicero shuts down your juicer remotely because they find out you've been stealing juice by squeezing the bags by hand

Tfw you pirate juice and the juicer rats on you to the juice police

>>59988476
>raised $118 million in venture capital
When does the bubble burst?

>>59989077
Video?

>>59988476
they aren't selling the squeezer. they are selling you the right to purchase their juice brand.

i know it's retarded, but that's how the free market works. as long as retards throw money at you, it doesn't matter.

>>>/biz/

>>59988496
i gues this shit is targeted to yuppies and hippies. for that market, this shit produces a lot garbage

i thought treehuggers were against it.

anyway, this product... i'm open mouthed how anyone would think this is worth anything

More like Jewcero am I right

>>59988476
How are bags non free fag? What preventing to modify and reuse it?

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>>59988476
>i realize this if basically keurig and their shitty pods

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>>59988476
why are those bags better than pic related
I dont fucking understand

>>59988496
Fuck dude, scary
>>59989878
I was just thinking up a scenario where all of our food is prepared on machines like this and I was locked out for using non licensed green beans

>>59988476
>Some dumb shits invested $118m for literally the Juice Loosener

Venture fucking Capital I swear

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>>59988496
>everything about this

>>59988476
>san francisco
I'm not murican and you'll never see me set foot in that backwater third world country, but even I know enough about murica to know that with san fran it's always the same damn shit, all the gayest inventions, most unjustifiable rich "startups", and the biggest wastes of money

I think san fran is to the united corporations of america as brussels is to belgium, or eastern europe is to europe

>>59990432
why is the lottery better than saving money?
why is that you get to your destination quicker the faster you go?

just cause, anon.

I don't get it, you pay one for the bags and then again every time you want to actually squeeze juice out of them?

>DRM protected juice

What a time to be alive!

How is the juice not refrigerated? And who tf drinks juice?

I don't get this. Do they ship the bags to you for free then ship you more once you return the empty bags, making money from the squeezer registering uses?

Do they sell the bags at a liss, making money ftom use registration?

>>59991102
No, you have to buy bags, $7 each.

>>59991102
Sell juicer way over cost
Sell bags of juice way over cost
....
Profit

What is not to get? It is literally kuerig cups for fruit/veg juice

>buy juicero
>Turns out its fucking shit
>Install gentoo on it and order 1$ juice bags from aliexpress
>Alarm goes off and makes my chink mango juice for me as i wake up
>Just as i take a sip of my chinese heavy metal juice hear a loud bang
>Juicero commandos break into my house, kill my wifes son and dog, then arrest me
>Charged with copyright terrorism and sent to guantamano
>Forced to program windows 10 apps from ipad until i die

>>59990210
not even. At least the machine is doing *something*. You can't just buy and drink a keurig cup thing. You can just buy and directly drink from one of these bags. The machine has no reason to exist at all.

How long until someone hacks the machine and makes reusable bags to use your own fruits and vegetables?

>>59991769
The user would still have to buy a $500 kitchen botnet.

>>59992098
Yes but after that the user can disable the botnet and make juice with freedom.

>>59992230
>spending $500 on a juicer
Even up here in the economic shithole known as Canada I can get two actual juicers (i.e. real fruit goes in & juice comes out) for less than one glorifies bag squeezer. No botnet, no drm, and no stupidity. Sometimes I think Americans have more money than brains.

So is this just Capri Sun for morons with a shitload of money?

>>59992280
>250 USD for a juicer
>not just blending fruit in a 20 USD blender
Fuck off leaf.

>>59992343
Yes. Respect the pouch, respect it.

>>59988476
>>59988822
>>59989878
>>59989902
>>59991159
>>59991243
>>59992280
>>59992347
>juicer
It's not a juicer.

>>59992384
Yeah its a cold press.

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>>59992347
>blenders are the same as juicers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_og6nLYITfA
They operate on completly different principals.

>>59992384
No shit. It's a glorified bag squeezer.

How long until they start importing Canadian milk for their machine?

>>59992397
>pulp free
I never said they were the same, the pulp is good and provides fiber.

>>59992389
>>59992397
What's the point of it anyways. The juice will be spoiled because it's out of refrigeration. No one knows who makes the juice so there could be Listeria or E. coli in it.

>>59992437
The point is to appeal to the "modern hippie" type who need connectivity in everything and absolutely need modern everything. Basically people with too much money to give a shit about anything except for the environment.

>>59992434
Sure, I love my orange juice with pulp, but I simply said I could get two actual juicers for the price of the juicero. Besides, health freaks will put spinach, grass, and other shit into a juicer so they don't get pulp.

Verification cans are getting real. Holy shit.

>>59992384
>It's not a juicer.
You're right. It's a Juicero™ :^)

>>59990867
>I don't get it
JEWSER
E
W
S
E
R

What the holy fuck is this thing? White American suburbia: The Machine?

>>59988476
It's another one of these gimmick filled "LETS MAKE AN APP FOR THIS" idea that is all the rage in entrepreneur corners at the moment.

Pet water bowl? APP.
Toothbrush? APP.
Gym yoga mat? APP.

Of course it always has to be connected to the internet as well. Although it's funny that they have this for the yuppie market and has it use plastic bags.

>>59993078

What about...


...An app for an app? Am I a billionaire now?

>>59988890
It's hard to look more jewish than this

>>59988739
Browser and OS? I've been getting that same bullshit, though not nearly as bad.

>>59993103
Technically that's what that Chinese app is that is super popular. Let's you do so much shit in one ecosystem. And what Facebook is trying to get messanger to become.

So yes, you can be a billionaire

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>>59989902

>>59988476
They probably convinced old rich idiots who know nothing about how the world works any more to raise that money. Probably a large part of it from relatives.

Does it even squeeze the bag from the top down so nothing gets stuck?

>>59993492
There's nothing to get stuck, it's a bag of pre-squeezed juice mixed with pre-squeezed pulp and some sort of sieve opening so the pulp stays in the bag

>>59988496

>First choose the Wi-Fi network you'd like your press to connect to
HOW ABOUT NONE?

Why not simply put the pack into the juicer without having to use a smartphone application? They have added unnecessary steps into the use of their product.

>>59990788
Good things came out of eastern Europe though. Can't think of a single good thing about Brussels. Or Belgium.

if you're already buying a pre-packaged juice product


why isn't it already juiced in the package?

>>59990146
The bags have unique codes read by a scanner on the juicer
If it detects your bag is expired or has already been used it won't let you press it

>>59994313
To make the device serve a purpose.
If it were already juice, you wouldn't need the 400 dollarinos thingy.

>>59988476
they're not even wrong, people prefer similarity and consistency over quality or even quantity in food

why do you think starbucks burns all of their coffee and sells their smallest size for $3 and is still in business

>>59994387
>why do you think starbucks burns all of their coffee and sells their smallest size for $3 and is still in business
A venti (large) coffee at Starbucks is $1.75

>>59994313
it is

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>>59988476
>yfw the non-free pizza meme thread is actually reasonable for once

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>>59988476

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk

This was all I could think of reading OP.

>>59994576
That looks reasonable by comparison

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>>59994463
>tfw came in here to bitch but was pleasantly surprised

>>59988496
There's always a market for stupid people.

>>59988496
So it opens a pouch for you?

>>59988890
Hang on to your shekels when he comes into the room.

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>>59988476
>raised $118 million in venture capital

>>59994331
no fucking way

>>59992404
>rubs hands canadianly in expectation of additional maple syrup tokens

It was a scam. They insinuated the bags contained fresh fruit and vegetables.

>>59993128
4chanx with old captcha enabled maybe?

>>59996712
I wish the no javascript one worked again. Haven;t checked if it works.

I think I'll stick to water, thanks

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>>59996836

>>59988476
>A fucking camera that's used fucking once for setup (y u no use usb)
>Wifi that's used never
>https://youtu.be/X1oHp-VvhDE
>Yippies, filthy yippies everywhere

Why is the whole world going retarded?

>>59997318
I think this shit is exactly what infomercials are for the elderly.

I fully expect to see people on /g/ buy this, then berate those who haven't to be "poorfags."

>>59997318
The camera is used to enforce the DRM by scanning the packets QR code to prevent 3rd party packets from being used, as well as prevent packets older than a week being used and allowing remote disabling of the unit

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>It's not "juice."
>It's "squashed produce."

MIND BLOWN

>>59990484
Wall*e.avi

>>59990484
>I was just thinking up a scenario where all of our food is prepared on machines like this and I was locked out for using non licensed green beans

But we ban growing your own food for your own safety!

Reminder that the company LITERALLY remotely disables your juice if they find that it has gone past the point of optimal freshness. You have a mere couple of days to drink your $10 glasses of juice before you get kiked into having to buy new ones because your machine will refuse to squeeze them.

This is some organic non-dairy grass fed gluten free bullshit

>>59997481
>the face on the woman
>mark, you are acting like a reeeeetaaaardddd again :) We talked about this, calm your autism or I am leaving you.

>>59988496
SILICON VALLEY EVERYONE

Holy fucking hell my sides.
This is a fucking lid opener lmao

>>59997568
You can only use your lid opener for free only a limited times per day.
Buy Juicy points to unlock additional bags per day.
One time-5 bucks
5 times- 20 bucks
10 times-40 bucks SAVE 20%!!!

>>59990725
nah an hisper would grow his own fruit and press it with a 2 century old press

>>59997735
maybe 5 years ago. hipsters now are just idiots that go for whatever is marketed as healthiest

>>59990825
Are you a complete fucking retard? Did you ever both to even finish high school you uneducated social waste. Perhaps if you even had the slightest bit of brains you would realise playing the lotto is a complete waste of money.

>if bait
Well played

>>59988476
Which anime is this from? Tried google search but it returned more "botnet wants me to starve" threads.

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>>59997939

Kokoro connect. It's pretty good, you should watch it!

>>59988919
Aren't vegans usually environmentally sensitive that they avoid loads of packaging? Every vegan/vegetarian/hipster I know would insist on manually squeezing actual fruit, because authenticity.

Seriously, who is the target market for this?

>>59997939
> it returned more "botnet wants me to starve" threads.
God damn.

>>59993221
underrated meme

>>59997991
retards

>>59990825
It's not.

Because d = vt.

How either of these explain his question is beyond me. What a funny joke. Ex d.

>>59997991
These are people who think GMO's give you cancer, and don't realize an ear of corn used to be the size of a finger

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>>59988476
>https://youtu.be/5lutHF5HhVA
>5lut

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>>59998182
This is fine.

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>$118M raised for a completely useless product
>less than $10 raised my for my hardware manufacturing company selling hardware with fully libre firmware
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>>59998243
Where can i donate?

>>59998243
Hipsters need new snake oil products for their non-existent needs. If you present them an innovative product worthy of being showered millions, they will just run away.

>wh*tes

>>59992404
Fucking kek

>>59996725
>>59996712
>>59993128
? it's literally in the 4chan settings

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>>59988476
I thought you were shitposting but I'm shocked to find that it's real.

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>>59988476
So basicly they are jewing money from hipsters. Is it supposed to be a bad thing? Only a retarded hipster with thick glasses and raw food addiction would buy this.

>>59988672
Damn, look at the size of those caps and inductors.

can we just nuke San Fransisco already?

>>59990143
Underrated

>>59988890
I don't know what I expected

>buying bags of pre-made juice to put into a juicer
>bags of pre-made juice
>to put into a juicer
Let that sink in.
What the hell is going on anymore. How retarded do you have to be to think this is a good idea? Just get Minute Maid you niggers. Or better yet, go to Costco and get yourself a $100 juicer and some fruits. Fuck's sake, millennials are mentally retarded.

>>59999192
I think the bags contain fruit pulp, not just straight up juice


It's still ridiculous, think I saw Casey Neistat using one of these (probably an investor)

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180 Million dollars please

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Reminds me of this shitty $100 cup.
https://youtu.be/6-NmENdxcFw

>>60000924
Uh huh but where's the cloud connectivity

>>59988985
Underrated post

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>>59988496

The implications of this are flat out terrifying.
It's like some fucked up test where they see if people are willing to go full botnet, where they can basically shut down your ability to eat.
>Uh oh, you didn't buy the approved brand of meat, you don't get to cook it on this stove.
>Please use only the approved Bergstein & sons all natural beef on this stove.
>Buy 2 packs and you'll get 20 minutes of free use of your oven!
They already say that they can disable the machine if you're using produce bags that are out of date or if they feel like recalling a product.

>>59989161
>One cup out of 8$ bag
>Mfw
You can go to the store and buy quite a bit of stuff to juice for that amount of money.

You could literally achieve the same thing, without even getting your hands dirty, with one of those fireplace waffle irons you can buy for $10 at a local market.

>>59989161

Top kek.
I just realized that since you're able to squeeze the juice out yourself, then it means that the bag is simply full of juice, with some fruit and vegetable shavings in it.
You can't squeeze juice out of shredded carrots like that by hand if you tried, yet you can do it with these bags.
So even the "juicing" part is a scam.
There's no real cold pressing involved and the juice is all but fresh.
They probably pressed the juice out of the vegetables and fruits beforehand, then just threw the dry pulp and the juice into a bag, so you get the illusion of cold pressing it.

>>59999841
He is everything wrong with city people

>>59988672
>>59999039
You can infer a lot from just the picture alone.

The diodes and caps on the bottom right convert 120V AC to 170V DC, which is used to power the permanent magnet DC squishing motor on the bottom. The brushes and PWM likely used for speed control create a lot of electrical noise, hence the filtering chokes and caps on the bottom left.

In the center is a Meanwell AC-DC converter (basically like a cell phone charger, but board-mountable). It powers the Cortex-M microcontroller on its left. This controller gets speed data from the encoder mounted to the squisher motor shaft, and controls the motor thorugh the white optoisolators right below the meanwell supply.

On top is a RPi-like SoC which is connected to some door sensors on left, as well as a door lock solenoid on top left and another DC motor (eject?) on center left.

On the very top is a plastic frustrum with the camera for reading QR codes mounted on the "SAA C" PCB.

>be livin' in 2025
>got ProEcoBurger(tm) just for 19.99, fully engineered with proprietary proteins technology
>now forced to pay for the monthy ProEcoBurger(tm) subscription because proprietary trade marked aminoacids now are part of my body
>even has to pay additional fee for procreation, only 1499,99 per kid

>>59998635
No shit.

>>60000924
>no option to connect it to my phone
Fuck off.

>>60000924
wow where can i buy this i am willing to pay $500

>>59988476
>want to shitpost on 4chan about freedom™
>posts on a proprietary imageboard

Always.

>>59988476
Post the webm.

>>60000924
>no app
You wan me to pay for this?

>>59997500
I'm 34, part the youngest generation that remembers being an autonomous youth before the internet proliferated. This actually worries me. an average 24 year old from the first world doesn't have 1 memory of a time when they weren't being monitored constantly. Now they are integrating all devices and appliances to be connected so you can't get away if you wanted to.

>Car has non licensed part/modification:
ERROR 1319
Your vehicle is reporting an unauthorized part or error in internal parts database. You have been locked out for your safety. Your vehicle will be transported via auto-pilot™ to an authorized oem repair center for inspection.
>trying to prepare non licensed food:
ERROR 14172
Your oven is reporting an unauthorized ingredient or error in the internal database. You have been locked out for your safety
Please Rescan QR CODE on your authorized NUTRITION-PAK® *contacting authorized service center in 30-29-28-27

>>60000924
How is this going to track my nutrition and then send a personalized plan of jucies to my phone app every day? Am I going to have to order the juice myself or does it autoroder?

>>59988476
tell me to my fucking face there's no tech bubble. lie right to my face. california is going to implode

>>60005519
>california is going to implode
It would be perfect if it happened after #Calexit

>>60002981
Truly AnCap paradise

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Dr Oz loves it, Gwyneth Paltrow's site named it invention of the year in 2016, A-Trak is a fan, Oprah handed it out and Katy Perry enjoyed it at Coachella, why aren't you juicing with #Juicero?

>>60005066
https://nonfree.pizza/

>>60005955
nigga I ain't clickin that shit

>>60000924
There's no monthly billing for proprietary juice bags?

>>60006145
>>>/out/

Hey! I just saw a cr1tikal video on this before finding this thread!

It was a pretty good video. He didn't make a diarrhea reference once, or anything. Hard to recommend his channel though since he does that all the time.

>$7 for one cup of proprietary juice
WHYYy

>>60006190
>he's a poorfag
WHYYy

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>>59991243
thank you

>>59992397
Blenders make better juice though

>>59990531
It's somehow even worse, at least the Loosener can get something out of fruits.

>>59989003
That will be the next model coming out after they sell enough of the old models I bet.

>>60000924
>nectar
this shit ain't juice.
the sweetened garbage from concentrated syrup is called "nectar".

>>60002931

Fucking top notch post. You should start a youtube channel where you take shit apart and talk about the components.

Really scratches an autismal itch for me.

>>60006532
AvE
bigclivedotcom
that faggot australian with voice like a dog toy

there you go anon

https://youtu.be/FrRUsXTXm_A

>>59989878
The more you read about this the more it sounds like some hellish plot to make people entirely dependent on a selected olligarchy for even their basic needs.

If you criticize the state your waterfauceto, mealpackopenero, medicineo and heatero shut off and you whither away.

>>60002668
It seems there's a filter thing to catch all of the plant matter so you just get a all of the sugar.

Who actually buys this shit?
Who keeps backing garbage startups like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stTzLmoStsU

I'm thoroughly convinced that these are all elaborate money laundering schemes.

>>59997505
>the company LITERALLY remotely disables your juice

wtf man

>>59997505
You have to make an account before purchasing and they'll only let you purchase packs if you're a confirmed owner of a jewcero.
Also, if you express wrongthink publically on twitter, they'll probably ban your account and prevent you from juicing.
Also, this pretty much guarantees no second-hand sales of the device because you need to be signed into an registered jewcero owner's account before it'll work.

What a load of fuck.

>>59997505
>>60007038
>>60007070
you can't get more fresh organic judaism from anywhere else

how is it possibly for this to exist? It's an expensive CapriSun squeezer

>>59997462
Get the FUCK out, Doug.

This could easily be the plot of a episode of Black Mirror. You Americans invent new ways to disgust me everyday.

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You could always buy juice the old fashioned way

http://www.theverge.com/2017/4/20/15375940/juicero-full-refund-customers-ceo-jeff-dunn

What I find most shocking is that this was apparently around for at least a year and no one ever considered squeezing the juice pouches by hand.

>>59997505
HOLY FUCKING SHIT

GREAT BRITAIN WAS RIGHT

THEY CAN REMOTELY DISABLE THE ATOMS OF NUCLEAR BOMBS THIS WAY TOO

>>60007359
Have you never made your own juice?
Store bought garbage is always made from concentrate where they grind the peels and all.
They also load it down with stabilizers and preservatives to lengthen shelf life.
Some don't even need refrigeration, but people would be weirded out if they didn't see it in a fridge at the store, so they waste valuable cooler space for packaged juice.

>>60007429
So buy fruit and one of these this juicero is a rip off and a half

>>59988496
What the fucks the point if the juice is already inside of the bag?

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>>60007475
Forgot image

>>60007481
The pouch contains mushy fruit and vegetables, there's a filter inside the pouch to catch the solid plant matter so all you get is a shitload of sugary crap.

>>60005637
well we found our target market. Stupid rich people

>>60007528
>>60007481
It's already pre-juiced, they just threw in pulp to make it look like it's doing something.
There's absolutely no reason why this needs a machine, they could probably just sell the packs as is and people would get a kick out of squeezing them directly into their mouth.
Or maybe silicon valley fuccbois are so effeminate and weak they can't even squeeze the bags under their own power.

>>59991261
not to mention a keurig is significantly cheaper

>>60007528
Gross

>>60006968
>cuts waste
>uses one pod per tortilla
>still need to tell machine what pod it is
I would at least expect that machine to make more than one at a time. This is worse than the Jewcero.

>>60007811
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxmP8IcoKtE

>>60007844
Hah, Futurama did it first.

>>60006229
>ridiculing someone for not blowing $8 on 1cup of juice
>>>/out/

They could have literally just sold the juice in bottles.

>>60009309
But then they would have to make a 700 USD device that opens the bottles.

>GMO control. Flavor control. Texture control. Sugar control control. Everything is monitored, and kept under control.

>Juice... Has changed

>buy banana juice bag
>strawberries sold separately as day one DLC

>>60009387
got ya covered

https://www.kuvee.com/

>>60009557
The future is cuckold xD

>>60008436
>he can't understand sarcasm unless it's explained to him that it's sarcasm
>>>/out/

if you want to be healthy drinking juice isn't healthy

youre basically removing all the good fiber and extracting all the sugar

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>>60009604

>A wine dispenser that has a wi-fi connection + info about the wines.
>You can order wines via the bottle, no other bottle works with it.
>Also includes membership, so they send you whatever wines you've been drinking and rating high.

That's genius actually.
Imagine when some rich fucker and their friends are drunk, then order some expensive shit.
>Oh we absolutely got to try this 245$ Chateau the Pui!
>Let's take 5 bottles.
That thing prints money.
Also that site is a bit picky about browsers.

>>60009745
The soluble nutrients are in the juice, not in the insoluble fiber you're removing.
Also if you're juicing, better buy a slow juicer.
Anything else kills a good portion of the antioxidants,vitamins and enzymes and turns it into actual sugar water.

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>>60007475
>>60007429
>>60007493
or just don't drink juice as it's a waste of pulp and nutrients

>>60000938
This I can see a use for in hospitals. It's not completely absurd if the price was around $10 and you could have it interact with a local REST api for patient information.

Someone has so much money they dont need that they're willing to invest in this?
Time to raise the inheritance tax to 100%

>>60010478
it makes me wonder what the pitch was like.

>>59988890
Every fucking time

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>>59988476
4 (four) questieeowns:
1! Does it have Mac support?
2! Does the company provide superfood juices like Kale and Goji?
3! Is it environmentally friendly? I'm not some stupid redneck who doesn't believe in climate change...
4! WHEN can I buy it?!

Pic related, it's me btw

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>>60010629
>that pic
>paper please shirt
leave the fucking game alone you shit-eating manchild

>>60009799
insoluble fiber is still important
lots of people have fucked up colons because they don't eat fiber

like constipation and hemorrhoids.

>>59999999

>>60000000

>>59988496
>all those steps just to squeeze a bag
You'd think this is satire.

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>they invest 118m usd in a machine that squeezes juice from a bag.

You gringos can't make juice from fresh fruit/veggies with a simple blender?

>>60010825
Rick and Morty grants you a one-way ticket to >>>/r/eddit

>>60010835
>too edgy for a juice machine

>>60010825
>muh consistency poorfag
Only mac users would buy shit like this.

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>>59988890
Why do (((they))) make it so difficult to hate /pol/?

>>60010939
she a cute

>>59998157
Baby corn is the best part of Chinese American food.

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I will start this post by saying, I'm an idiot.

What exactly does this machine do? If I want juice, I go to the store and buy some. If I want fresher juice I buy fruit and make it myself.

I'm just really confused on why anyone would buy something like this, why do you need to buy this kind of juice specifically?

>>60011044
It's a $400 dollar bag squeezer.

>>60011044
You need it if you're the type of person who is incapable of pouring juice into a cup. So maybe someone with MS though they couldn't load the bag on their own.

>>60006619
came here to say this. though i wouldnt be the least bit surprised if >>60002931 was AvE

>>59990060
>i thought treehuggers were against it.
We are. This piece of shit is wasting energy and creating residues (the little bags) for just pressing a bag. This is not a treehugger product. This is a hipster product.

>>60002487
>>60002668
>>59989878
I should mention that in order to get these juice bags you need to actively own the piece of shit juicer every time you place an order.

>>60009516

>The juice runs the world.

Just juice my shit up

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Alright since juicers are apparently worthy of /g/ threads post the one you use.
>High capacity
>Separates and dries the pulp in real time
>Easy to clean, the internals separate without needing tools and can be cleaned in a dishwasher
>Comes with a cup
Only real downside is that the hole you put the fruit in is narrow so you gotta chop everything up finely.

>>60011111
wew nice get anon

>>60011220
why bother juicing fruit when you can just eat it whole

>>60011245
Many fruits at once

>>60011245
Same reason why you bother using linked lists instead of just vectors

>>59988476
Wow I thought you were must taking the piss at us FOSS nerds.

Silicon valley is fucking retarded. Without there pajeets and Changs all they have is a fucking 100M sink of a venture that is a bag of juice and a toy. Some pretentious douche wanted to play startup and copy keriurg and apply it to juice.

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>>60011296
So accel can't hack your shit?

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>>60011375

>>60009604
>https://www.kuvee.com/
This at least claims to have some extrinsic benefits. Their wine bottles supposedly have some engineering to keep it fresh for 30 days after opening.

Juicero is the ultimate. One simply cannot get more bullshit than this. Maybe if they designed the bags to be even harder to get into so you couldn't even squeeze them manually while locked.

Couldn't i get the same effect by placing a heavy book on top of it?

>>60011403
>Their wine bottles supposedly have some engineering to keep it fresh for 30 days after opening.

Yes, said engineering is basically screw cap wine bottles, except for people who put themselves above purchasing wine with a screw cap.

>>60011435
no, you'd have to put TWO TESLAS on top

I don't see the problem in being able to squeeze them by hand. The real product here is the $8 a pack juices that are sold as a subscription. The juice packages have insane mark up while the device is just a fancy package opener that's also a single time purchase compared to the juices.

In just a year they'll make almost $3k of revenue from the $8 juices if a person drinks one per day. And out of that $8 something around $5 - $7 is profit depending on how efficient they are and what quality produce they use. Compared to one time $400 purchase that doesn't even bring a lot of profit I wouldn't give a fuck how my clients squeezes their juice as long as they keep buying the packages.

tl;dr this whole controversy is a genius marketing plan by (((them))) to get poorfags who can't afford the device into buying their expensive juices

>>60012094
>tl;dr this whole controversy is a genius marketing plan by (((them)))
this isn't how they planned to make money though
any asshole can sell product, they wanted to sell user information

it's the same reason windows 10 was "free"

>>60011111
>>60002931
I'm not AvE but I do watch his videos, maybe I picked up some influence from him.

Now that we're referencing it, the 170VDC brushed motor is most similar to the motor in the drill doctor video (and the kitchenaid one, but that motor is a lot bigger). It's kind of surprising to see it here - I would have expected a low voltage motor, but I guess that would have raised the cost of the DC power supply too much.

I've read a lot about this. I cannot believe they designed the bags to be opened by regular people. They should have designed the bags so they only the machine can press them.

>>59988476
>Juicero is aware packs can be hand squeezed. The startup believes consumers prefer to use the machine, which makes the juice quality more consistent and requires less clean-up.

Lol the ceo was just like "people are too lazy fat fucks to squeeze bags they will have the machine do it instead"

>>60005465
>You got nothing to hide, why worry
>lol the guberment can have my data it's safe and private
>lol why do you care
>oh no they will have my porn history, what ever will I do :^)

GOD I want to strangle the young generations who are enabling all of this shit in becoming the "norm"

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>>60011220

>Introduces heat and oxygen to the juice.
It's better than a blender, but still kills a lot of the good stuff in the juice.
If you're juicing, cold pressing is the way to go.

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>>60014457
fairly young guy here, it fucking angers me whenever i'm talking to someone my age about privacy or security and they go
>lol why hide, you're not doing anything wrong right ;)

i don't understand

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>>60006619
>not posting mikeselectricstuff

>>60014457
You are implying that /g/ is not full of young neckbeards who use Gentoo.

>>60014509

>throwing out the fiber

>>60010629
>that pic
So this is the power of Nordic people

>>60010939
Wtf I like her now
>>60011245
So I can mix unwanted veggies into my sweetened juice

>>60014549
It's kinda like young kids get memed into smoking.
"everybody is doing it, its cool, you aren't a pussy right?"
Same thing with the privacy issue
"they have everybodys info so it's fine, you aren't a terrorist right?"

People get easily pulled into doing stupid shit by social pressure and going against the grain is unnatural for the normie sheepie.

>>59994576
At least that took some fruit and produced some juice, however inefficient it was actually a juicer. It wasn't a machine that essentially just adds drm to a bag of juice.

>>59988496
I've been reading this thread for 5 minutes now and I'm still not sure if it's satire or not

What the fuck?
You need an Internet connected bag presser and mandatory useless app to squeeze vegetables?
Is this really what Americans buy?

>>60015085
this is the future anon
don't tell me you're anti-progress :^)

>>60015107
The bags don't even contain simply chopped vegetables and constitute waste.
Is this really the world you wanna live in?

>>60014644

It doesn't filter all of the pulp out of it, not even close.
I'd say that at least 20-30% of the juice is still pulp.
t. a guy with a machine like that.

>>60015170
yes, so i can rebel and live out my /cyb/ fantasys duh

>>59988496
it's literally worse than that juicer on the simpsons that makes a couple of drops from a bag of oranges

>>60015413
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk

So has anyone cut up a bag to see if its "cut up fruits and vegetables" inside or just plain old juice?

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>>60010629
Haaaahaa omg fuck you

>>59988496
Whoa.... so this... is the power... of the IoT...

why the fuck is this thing exist???

>>60005465

I'm 28 years old and I remember riding my bike a couple blocks to the local pool and swimming for hours upon hours every day in the summer.

When I got to 3rd grade my school finally got old Apple IIs that we used for "Keyboarding" class, that was 1997 man. Dial up internet on an old horizontal profile desktop, then moving to the classic emachine never obsolete piece of shit to play runescape the year it came out.

Plenty of us under 30 remember a time before we had cameras and shit hovering all around us, most are just too god damn dumb to have the brain power to think anymore because its not facebook and snapchat

>>60015488
I miss Phil Hartman

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>>59988476

>>59988790
It's basically the keurig of juice

Stupid, yes, but has the potential to be bought by housewives

>>59990903
Hah, just wait for
>DRM protected dicks and vaginas!

This isn't the future, yet.

>>59988476
>>59988496
>>59988640
ignore it

it's the only way to kill stupid shit without getting in trouble. the world loves seeing stupid people do stupid things. don't be one of them.

>>59988496
[email protected]

>>60009799
What browser?

>>60016725
>>60007378

>>60019173
>That artifacting.
Eww.

>>59989125
>>Imma disrupt the standing desk market just watch

>make a standing desk with a small treadmill so you can walk instead of just standing still
>track distance walked, time spent walking, calories burned, etc.
>high score charts to get people to use it more often and for longer
>ads in the user interface that cycle every few minutes

I'm a software engineer. Hit me up when you want to.

>>60000924
So close
>>60000000

>>59997991
>Aren't vegans usually environmentally sensitive that they avoid loads of packaging?
Yes, that's why you have to wash the bag out and mail it back for them to reuse.

>>60020493
You are like a little baby, watch this.
>premium membership that gets rid of the ads
>desk has an app where everyone can circlejerk
>premium members can have custom colors and shit on their accounts
>sell add on to keep drinks warm or cold
>has drm out the ass and a proprietary plug
>for a small fee you can get a different pattern on your treadmill
>phone charger add on, sold separately obviously
>start an audiophile tier market for add-ons and "mods" for it

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>>59988790
>For some reason every "technology" video uses that shitty xylophone background song.

Not only technology videos, they do that with all kinds of stupid crap nowadays

It genuinely pisses me off

>>59991243
>wifes son

kek

>>60014509
>Fagor

No offense, had a laugh, thanks OP

>>59997533
fuck off roastie

>>59990210
Not even, you can buy a universal cup from eBay for 5$ and use any grounded fucking coffee you want.

This is straight from Black Mirror.

>>59988476
>launching in California

Why can't they secede already?
Cali is cancer and the rest of the country is who gets the fucking metastases.

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>>59991243
I kekd had.

>>60014644

Why would you do that?
Looks to me like it's dropping there to be further used in cooking or just eaten like that.
But if you're going through the hassle of peeling a bunch of oranges, you should just fucking go ahead and eat them instead of buying a $150 machine so you can ingest the juice and the fiber separately.

>>59988890
Looks like the kind of guy who raises his gay lawywer boyfriend's kid

>>59988476
Huh, really presses my juices.

>>59997533
watch the video, she's even a bigger autist

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>>59988496
It's time to short the NASDAQ

did anyone read about the other presser that is being sued by this twats? the other shit is chink kikestarter bait, but actually seems better in comparison.

>>59988476
European here. Can some American explain to me why so much terrible shit comes from San Francisco?

>>60024073
It's a hotbed of homosexuality.

>>59988496
This is both innovative and convenient, but /g/ will hate it because they're contrarians.

>>60024128
2/10 bait

>>59988890
I can't stop laughing

Whole thing sounds too fishy, google is their main investor, device is overpriced and useless and everyone with a brain finds it retarded. Probably some next level money funnel using a loophole in usa law

>>60024073
Due to the nice weather and Silicon Valley, it's one of the most expensive cities in the world. So it has basically become full of people that pay 10x for "organic" food, buy any new tech meme that has some vaguely altruistic social connotation, and think diversity is great (because they only meet Pajeets who have Ph.Ds from MIT and work at Google), but they are scared of section 8 housing destroying their real estate portfolio.

It's a really fucking strange place that is completely insulated by its own privilege but doesn't realize it.

> Juicero has sued Juisir
Juisir developed by Chinese company iTaste, infringes on a patent Juicero was granted in November 2016. Juicero said in its April 6 complaint that Juisir also violates the Silicon Valley company’s trade dress and trademark rights.

> Juisir even have a reusable bag
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdbVAt0Rb-k

>>59994262
Well... If they can gather data about what kind of juice you like they can sell it or make personalised ads for you.

It's just for convenience and your own good.

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>>60006532

>>59988496
>so convenient to mail your garbage back to them!

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>>60009799
>https://www.kuvee.com/
Mmmm, I could really go for a refreshing sip of Kuvee™ FreshPour™ wine right about now as I sit down in my IKEA™ STOCKSUND™. And how could I go seven before I get permanent brain damage without my EverFresh™ O2™?

>>60019503
>tfw your Dick+™ service is not compatible with her PoonX® service and having sex is a EULA violation
>Fuck her anyway
>The police come and arrest us both for violating the EULA
>Have to pay a $500 fine
>Police don't accept GoogleDollars™ so she has to stay for a few weekd
>Leave her and go home
>tfw you forgot to renew your iHouse® subscription and can't get into your house
>Violate your BodyBeta membership EULA and kill yourself

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>>60006968
>that fucking accent every time she says tortillas

DRM condoms when?
>plop it into a non barcoded vagoo
>gets ripped in half

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>>59991243
>Forced to program windows 10 apps from ipad until i die