>sits down in class >folds out screens

> performs full on gentoo install in front of everyone

>pssst, nufffin personal, normies *folds*

>gets ass kicked for being a retarded faggot

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>>58461481
>"mum those windows faggots bullied me again"

>>58461518
meant for
>>58461481
>*unfolds gentoo"
>now it's personal
>performs quad boot
>gentoo
>osx
>windows
>steamos
>the majoras normie is defeated

>>58461361
>Then it gets stolen when you arent looking

>>58461538
>some1 steals mememachine
>oh no it's go-
>oh look there's the retarded nigger
>he cant figure out how to close it

>>58461361
>Sits down, folds out the screens
>Nearby students are wide-eyed
>Decide to boot gentoo
>use literally one command
>teacher comes over
>"Dan, I would really appreciate it if you didn't try to hack the school during English. It is distracting."

>>58461538
apparently the prototypes were literally stolen from CES, and the best part is the screens didnt even fucking fold up so its fucking mind boggling to think about how it was possible.

although it could have just been a marketing stunt

>>58461601
lol

>>58461361
>>58461432
>>58461466
people would be shocked and confused
it would be glorious

>>58461432
Underrated post

>unfold all 3 displays
>everybody notices
>silence
>start hearing quiet discussion
>"what an asshole"
>"what the hell?"
>"look at this fuckin guy"
>"what is he doing?"

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>>58461601

>>58461514
Most un-funny comment award.

>>58461680
> get mad
> encode some video to h.265
> jet engine turbine

>>58461514
Get raped and kill yourself, you retarded fucking faggot sack of nigger shit with down syndrome.

>>58461684

Pssh...bet that guy's not even Russian.

>>58461680
>25%....26%...
>their jealousy fuels the gentoo install
> 28%....80%.. 99%
>error, too much cp dled neckbeard, you gotta virus

>>58461361
>sit down with my new razer laptop
>fold out screens
>boot into gentoo in 10s flat
>open up a virtual machine with gpu pass through and win 10 on left screen
>"heh just a bit of gaming"
>open up a terminal on the center screen real quick
>hack the teachers computer and open up the powerpoint slides
>students in the room start hiding their laptops in shame
>apple fags start destroying their macbooks
>qt next to me gets wet
>"a-anon I missed my show last night could I watch it on your laptop"
>"heh no problem babe"
>put on big bang theory on the right screen
>now other girls start mirin from around the class
>teacher gets visibly upset more people are looking at my computer than following her boring lecture
>I'm playing battlefield one on the left screen
>computer starts sounding like a helicopter
>battery goes from 100% to 5% in 5 minutes
>computer starts shuts down
>qt gets up and walks off pissed
>everyone in the class starts laughing at me, including the teacher
>message on screen before shut down: "nothing personnel... kid"

>>58461799
I laughed.

>>58461361
>unfold screens
>open paint twice
>set one paint to full screen on the left screen
>same with the other on right screen
>one a photo of the teacher on middle screen
>draw two dicks looking middle screen on both paint windows
>start folding and unfolding them

>>58462016
we are no longer in 2016, bwoi

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>>58461799

>>58461361
>Anyone with a brain sees this
>Contacts Razer legal team
>Laughs their way to the bank with the $25,000 reward.

File: closed-800x279.jpg (18KB, 800x279px) Image search: [Google]

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lrSUcgVqHg

>implying you are not J E L L Y

>>58461666
lurk more faggot

File: LOOK I AM PROJECTING.png (213KB, 800x521px) Image search: [Google]

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>>58462121
>lurk more faggot

I made this picture just for you my good friend

>spend all night compiling code
>the three screens and 4k resolution at 50% scaling finally allow my eyes to keep up with my brain and hands
>suddenly realize I have ugent buisiness
>I must go...
>spring out of my office chair
>bang my knee on the desk but it didn't even phase me
>fell over and landed right on a chair leg but I didn't cry
>action roll to my closet
>unlock the biometric scanner to my dead-drop disguised as a sock drawer
>hidden in the back are my... special gloves
>made of genuine pleather, short for plutonium enriched leather, they atomically enhance my... abilities
>they've been engineered for maximum heat dissipation with strategically placed vent holes on the knux and are optimal "trigger happy" length
>realize I need to go undercover
>best use my disguise
>put on a pin-stripped suit jacket to appear cunning and professional
>no time to change my pants but millionaires wear jeans these days anyhow
>pull over my trusty patchwork leather trench coat, as it tends to rain at night
>this trench coat is ideal as it hides my katana, but decide I won't need it... this time
>dawn my fedora, which conceals my identity so long as I tip it forward like so
>ok you couldn't see that
>no time to waste, take my tripple screened beauty and dash
>have to turn it off while running so it doesn't die, almost drop it
>get to the metro station in the rough side a town
>like a bus metro
>shoot... forgot my pass
>flip open screens, tilt fedora to go ghost
>begin injecting trojans to the bus computer
>it convinces the driver I'm a student
>sit in the back, remain ghost
>lappy at 10% so close it up
>the bus is ominously quiet
>it stops
>realize it took me to a highschol
>cheh. Guess I'll have to blend in
>infiltrate the school, attend classes
>security officer demands I remove my fedora
>quickly alter my muscular tension to invent a different face
>he's none the wiser
>lunch was pizza day
>can't hack cause dead battery
>vow to return soon
>2 pages of

>>58462577
did you really just write all this right now?

>>58461432
So, what do we do for the rest of the 35 minutes in class?

>>58461626
The trick with shit like that is acting like you belong there. Most people will not question you.

>>58462577
>2 pages of math homework and an a history test next week
>get home
>can finally resume my hacking
>start by downloading subroutines for quadratic equations
>supplement vectoral data across the x and y coordinates
>inject parallax shaders
>enter
>...compiling... complete
>solved all mathematical equations simultaneously
>may have just invented a new method of finding the triangular root of pie
>heh... wasn't much
>the history test is on the Declaration of Independence
>construct advanced backdoor protocalls
>implement accelerated machine dreaming with pictures of Abraham Lincoln and the guy who ended slavery
>concoct viruses so advanced they may possess intelligence
>unleash them on the net seeking out the unfounded fathers of America
>meanwhile I've already complied an ASCII script to guide my drone to the local city hall
>these screens are really coming in handy...
>the drone enters in full ghost
>4k go pro I totally use all the time when I snowboard and stuff streams in real time to my left monitor as the center and right are busy rendering texels
>it's so crisp guys get a 4k monitor amd gopro it will change your life
>see enough to blow the load on pizza gate
>not my goal... never said I was a hero
>find evidence of the man who shot lincoln
>it was the guy who ended slavery
>at the same time my viruses have take many bytes out of data
>insert all this info in binary and add in some inverse pipline block logic
>out spits a completed study guide
>I got a C on the test
>parents took away my hacking machine

>>58462577
nice, here is mine

>be me
>walk into CS class
>unzip triple screened laptop
>RMS portrait on left, gentoo center, oriental cartoon bullshit on right
>chad walks in
>is blinded by my gentoo screen
>hot girl on his shoulder falls down due to his weight as he falls down (he is heavier than her, pulling her down)
>she falls into my lap
>i accidentally unzipped my dick at the same time i unzipped my triple screened razer laptop
>my fanny pack is open too, spaghetti is pouring out
>the spaghetti having made my thighs already wet, she slides right onto my unzipped dick
>i ejaculate instantly
>everyone is staring
>cover myself with the three screen laptop and waddle out
>get home
>take shoes and socks off
>eat toejam to feel better
>realize I forgot my fedora in class

>>58461361
Only Linus would have the balls to steal it

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>>58461361
>gets laughed at by everyone
>quits coming to classes
>quits the school altogether
>autism power level increases 10 fold
>rarely leaves mom's basement
>hates the whole world
this is how serial killers are made.

>>58461799
Dude I'm about to go sleep and I'm laughing so loud. I'm not even sleepy anymore. Thanks.

>>58462781
Serves you right for wearing a V-neck.
Shit is gay, like milo tier gay.

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>>58462958

>>58461684
the video for this is gold btw, look up deus ex tribute on youtube for source

>>58461799
made me laugh way more than it should have.

>>58461361
that hideous keyboard...

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>>58461626

>>58461361
>sits down in class
>folds out screens
>logs in
>bukakke porn on all three screens
>full screened with max volume

>>58461799
10/10
Checked

>>58462065
>not being a mercenary in the corporate espionage business
I'm sure there are quite a few vendors wanting that design, who would gladly pay more than 25k for the prototype

>>58462729
This.

Friend of mine snuck into a large office building, bypassing several security doors by looking like he had business in there, and having his hands full so he couldn't swipe cards or type codes. People kept letting him in.

He got to the door of the server room, where a sysadmin finally asked him what he was doing. And eventually led outside and kindly told to fuck off.

>>58462723
Tell everybody how shit their botnet products are and that you enjoy a nsa free live on a lonely island.

>>58465309
My mate is a pen tester. The company he's with also does physical testing of sites.

They literally walk in and say they got called in to do some IT diagnostics and get free run of the place. Obviously the client doesn't inform the staff this is happening and they don't tell the client when they're doing it. The scariest one he did was a major power station. Security literally gave them permanent security passes because they couldn't find the extra temporary ones.

>>58461690
Fuck you motherfuck kill your life

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>Bringing a computer to class instead of sheets of paper and a pen.

What is this, a tech board?

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>

>>58461799
pretty good

>>58461514
actual kek, sup fellow frog poster

>>58467791
please tell me he just tied his shoes

>>58467791
>>58468359
I don't get it

>>58468376
it kinda looks like he sniffed the chair which the woman sat on.

Someone post the "everybody is mirin my rig" copypasta. I don't think I ever saved it.

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>>58468427
Nevermind, like 3 seconds of googling.

>>58461601
Topkek, this hits home.
>was been circumventing school eagleeye program by booting into a live USB.
>do that for months
>school network blocks YouTube's SSL site but not embedded videos.
>one day, log in system normally
>open up notepad and make an HTML site to watch a link
>teacher in charge of the lab monitors everyone using eagleeye software
>catches me typing code on notepad.
>get sent to the principals office for hacking.
It technically was circumventing security, but I felt it was so fucking stupid considering I was doing more hardcore, literally booting another os on their systems and circventing their spyware shit. That was highschool
Now I'm a privacy but because of that shit.

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>>58467579
>Bringing a computer to class instead of sheets of paper and a pen.

>not doing both

In my last two years of university, I used my X200 tablet exclusively.

>>58461361
you know at least one autist is really going to do this

>>58461799
>then I hotswap my nuclear 29 cell battery

>>58462958
v necks were originally invented so you could wear a collared shirt with the first button undone without seeing a t-shirt collar.

but then homosexuals started regularly wearing them because of some collar bone fetish.

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>>58464755

>>58463222
Sick reddit comment, bud

>>58461432
>Have it run like shit after install

>>58462723

I doubt you can install gentoo in 10 minutes

>>58462577
>>58462746
topkek, 10/10

>>58464755
lel

>>58465389
Experienced pen testers often tend to have some really crazy stories to tell.

A guy I know had some pen testers test the place he worked at and it was supposed to be a really secure facility. Turns out the barcode-based key card system only logs people passing trough various points and doesn't actually do any kind of access control. Pen tester just went around with a generic ID tag with a random barcode on it and because he showed up after hours he got in literally everywhere in the building, including the supposedly heavily protected research lab with pieces of equipment worth 10k+ each.

After they figured out the key card system did nothing but log access they started a competition on who could come up with the weirdest thing with a barcode they could use to get in. Someone used a flower pot with the price tag still on it, someone else used a bottle return receipt and one guy used the key card from his previous job.

They had to put regular physical locks on the doors before they got a proper digital key system in place.

>>58468514
>am i fitting in yet gee?

>>58468514
omg so hardcore, teach me how to program HTML please so I can be a 1337 hacker like you, too

>>58461799
>put on big bang theory on the right screen

top kek

>>58471618
Oh shit I didn't mean it like that. It was just script kiddie shit but it pissed me off that I wasn't actually doing anything malicious. Fast forward now I'm shitposting on this board.

>>58469807
this is a reality show about to happen

>>58461799
came back just to read this post again

>>58461432
>only one screen works because it's Linux and something shit happens where you have to put a kernel parameter you can't find into the boot loader entry

Well, fuck.

>>58461514
I appreciate how salty some people got over this, I feel like they've been bullied a lot haha

>>58469574
just do https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkKElaYBNFY on a computer that's 6 times faster (anything made after 2008)

>>58464755
thats actually not terrible

it is bad tho

seriously? just coloring the same color? use clone stamp/heal or something you fuk

>blow student loan on silly laptop
>sit down in class
>unfold origami screen
>kid trying to get past bumps screen with bag
>laptop falls and breaks
>would shoot up school but no money left for gun
>hang self with power cord in basement
>janitor finds my lifeless body with pants full of shit
>he has a necro scat fetish
>gets caught in the act and it's all over the news
>grief is too much for parents
>dad start drinking too much
>mom leaves
>marries chad, never talks to my father
>a year later
>chad brings home new meme laptop he got on black friday
>mom spots the devil under his arm
>flips out and destroys it.
>chad rages and beats her to death
>dad is drinking away sorrows in dive bar
>the news headline is the murder of his ex wife
>shows up at chads trial
>shoots chad on the stand before turning the gun on himself
>I was the only child so our name died with our family that day

>>58474098
Then who was post?

>"wow this is 20% cooler than my labtop where did you find this"

>>58474836
spooky

>sits down in class
>takes out thinkpad from hand purse
>open the lid
>butterfly keyboard folds out

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>>58462110
Am I seeing this right? It doesn't fold, it slides into the middle screen itself? So it looks just like a regular laptop when the two other screens are retracted?

>>58469574
you can as long as you don't want any silly features like a browser

>>58461361
>girls you were sitting beside immediately edge away

>>58468653
hi callum

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>>58464755

>>58465222
>I'm sure there are quite a few vendors wanting that design, who would gladly pay more than 25k for the prototype
No they wouldn't, the design isn't complicated.
Flat screens on sliding rails, it's not hard to make something original that does that.

Just nobody thinks there's much of a market for it or they just hadn't thought of it.

>>58474836
>Then who was post?
kek

>>58475678
>So it looks just like a regular laptop when the two other screens are retracted?
THICC

But yes, it's basically just a thick laptop.

>>58475943
>girls you were sitting beside immediately edge away
Implying that you can sit next to anybody with three screens out.

This thing would start air-rage and get planes diverted. You know it's going to happen.

>>58476190
This >>58462110 doesn't look that thick to me. If I were to judge by the picture alone I'd say that would be around the size of the 2012 macbook pros.

Webm related.

https://my.mixtape.moe/wbwffe.webm

>>58462723
Install gentoo on their computers remotely and then interrupt the professor to lecture them on how to use it for 6 hours.

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>>58476162

>>58461799
this comment is on reddit now........my friend told me.

>>58476659
I'd have bought the shit out of this if there was a model that wasn't XBOXHUEG

>>58473108
this

>>58462577
>>58462746
5/5, a true rollercoaster of emotion from start 2 finish........

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>>58461799

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>>58461799
>>58461710
>>58461432
>>58461533
>>58461601
>>58462577
>>58462746
>>58462768
>>58462781
>>58468514
>>58474098

>>58461799
My friend just sent this post to me, turns out it's the top post on /r/4chan right now, well meme'd m'gentlesir

>>58461799
include me in the cap

>>58477927
Its already been cappped, and uploaded to reddit. Bit too late

>>58477819
Can the faggots who upload this shit to Reddit please stop, it's literally rape

>side monitors block the think pad screens of the classmates next to me
>"the poor should fear the rich"

>>58462746
CONTINUE!!!

>>58468514
>catches me typing code on notepad.
>get sent to the principals office for hacking.
This is why I hid my true power level for years. I wanted to learn programming so badly but couldn't do so until college because of bullshit teachers getting scared.

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>>58475998

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>>58479617
Because I can't find the drawing by itself

>>58461361
That whole idea is a "cyberpunk hacker I'm 14 and know html,hacker coder"meme

>>58461626
Yeah seems too brazen. Usually the chinks will just walk circles around your product so they can stitch together measurements and photogrammetrically generated 3d meshes

>>58461601
been there, done that. feelsbadman.jpg

>>58467791
What an absolute hero.

>>58468653
I'm sure your sex life was grrrrrreat

>>58468241
Best post

>bring my ultimate gaming pro triple screen razer™®© laptop to class
>rainmeter skins showing my powerful ricing skills
>brad brings his macbook toy in front of the class
>I yawn, then start playing bloodborne on my close-source custom ps4™ pro emulator
>fans go 100%, so loud brad has to raise his voice
>play on the middle screen while gentoo is compiling on the right screen in a VM
>on the left I have twitch streaming my 360no scopes, g2a and razer sponsoring me with 2% off codes
>"Anon, time to show your presentation"
>smirk, the carry my lady in front
>laptop is still in beta so you can't fold it
>accidentally hit Michelle in the head with the 4k ultra hd screen
>she calls me a bigot and runs away crying
>i try to stop her but spaghetti flew from my pockets and landed on the floor
>i slip and break the laptop my mommy borrowed
>start crying in my own sweat
>brad is watching that HBO show on his macbook retina pro with the girls while the teacher is blowing him

>>58477819
my friend also just sent this to me

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>>58474836

>a skeleton posted it

guys we made frontpage on leddit!!!guys we made frontpage on leddit!!!guys we made frontpage on leddit!!!

>>58461799
>personnel
is this a typo or a pun? I can't tell

>>58484012
Why? Why do people keep feeding /r/4chan? It is making this site objectively worse

>>58461601
>Computer lab during 11th grade anatomy
>Boot wandows into safe mode and do a bunch of bullshit commands
>Actually delete system32 (no meme, seriously did it)
>Doesn't matter, computers get wiped and reset every boot, could literally install Gentoo and they would install windows on the next boot
>Teacher gets pissed
>Sent to counselor, who hates the teacher and likes me
>Counselor calls in IT guy
>IT guy asks me to recreate the steps on a computer in the office
>Do so
>He took notes
>Says thanks for showing him the vulnerability, tells the counselor I'm good to go and he's gonna push out a security patch over the weekend.
>I leave and the teacher is pissed I didn't get in trouble.

>Computers in library during English
>Want to show off a bit
>Boot Windows into safe mode
>It beeps and whines a little bit before booting into it
>Everyone stares at me
>Fuckign sweating spaghetti
>English teacher doesn't give a shit
>No idea how safe mode worked, but it didn't have the stock school wallpaper so I thought I was going against the system
>Years later
>Talking to qt online in my class
>"Yeah hehe, I remember you were always hacking stuff :p"
>;)
>Smirk to myself while hiding my stiffie

>>58486651
Ask her out yo.

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Get back to me when you can fold out two more keyboards.

>>58461432
Maximum Autismo

But it will only work on one screen

>>58461514
>>>/r9k/

>>58461799
keke'd

>x230 user
>art school
>not a macbook
>even fucked lit by the thinklight
Living the /g/ dream

>>58487395
Forgot quote
>>58482889

>>58469807
>>58465389
My dad has owns a security company, we do alarm systems, cameras and provide security personnel.
Sometimes he asks me to get into buildings and steal something like a fire-extinguisher or a computer screen.
There are 3 things needed to successfully get the job done: 25% luck, 25% skills (like talking and acting) 50% shitty security.

>>58487081
>works only on one screen
>and it's not the central one

>>58461799
Found this on reddit xD

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>>58477156
>>58477986
>>58477819
>r/4chan
Wrote that on my phone while taking a shit.

If we don't shit, reddit doesn't eat, literally.

>>58486444
>is this a typo or a pun? I can't tell
hello new friend, you might want to type that last quote into google

>>58461514
fucking kek

>>58461690
reminder that anyone who can't laugh at themselves is highly autistic and should kill themselves

>>58468860
it really does irritate me that in the current year we don't have shielded nuclear batteries the size of a small book

>>58488059
>shielded nuclear batteries
Actually...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diamond_battery

>>58475678
yea that's its main selling point. Pretty innovative to design something that top-heavy that won't fall over.

>>58487875
How many men have you been with? XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXĎ

>>58488291
I am aware of the existence of this thing, but it isn't being mass-produced yet, hasn't replaced lithium ion batteries yet and normies will never go for it because they're ignorant fucks so it might as well not exist. Makes me weep.

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>>58461799
include me in screen cap
also dubs

>>58489010
dank webm. saved it hope u dont mind

>>58486651
>literally hacking your self into a vagina

nicely done lad

>>58461533
>steamos
templeos, fagit

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>>58461514
Holy shit anon actually triggered you retards

>>58486960
I always thought this was so stupid
>they have people with cyber brains that can access the internet at all times
>they have android people who are 100% save for their brain
>and yet they have robots with human like appearance whose only job is to type on a keyboard
>robots with crazy exploding hands to type faster

I know it's a movie/anime but it's shit like this that makes cyberpunk so stupid and unbelievable.

>>58464755
this is the best thing i've seen this year so far