Microsoft October event

>>57245422
Who cares about Microsoft? Didn't they go broke last year?

What's was mycro soft

>>57245422
>a cool "one last thing"
Probably not. My guess is only Surface 4 or no new device

Surface all-in-one PC. Book it.

>>57246302
All in one pc is rumoured

>>57245422
Expansion of the botnet

More hololense shit

>one last thing
[spoiler]windows phone is dead ;^)[/spoiler]

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>>57246346
>yfw hololen waifu simulator with Touko

>>57246356

Given that I just committed to buying a Pixel, I fully expect them to announce a 10/10 GOAT Surface Phone.

How much longer?

>>57246398

A few minutes at most.

>>57246398

Starts at 10am EST

>>57246398
few minutes
Live stream link:
https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/octoberevent/microsoft-live-event

>>57246410
is there a good youtube link

>>57246382

I wish they would but I'm seriously doubtful.

>post what you want to see in a Surface phone

HABBEDNG

Starting.

>>57246421
>>57246382
>surface phone
The laptop is called Surface because of the unique kickstand which requires you to place it on top of a flat surface.
A surface PHONE would make little sense.

Thinkpad

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POST A LINK

HAPPENING. HOW CAN APPLE COMPETE TOMORROW

literally who cares

http://news.microsoft.com/microsoft-event-2016/#2Ezje2dEX13dMFI8.97

Live stream here

>>57246421

Better first party software and Cortana integration, muh specs, etc.

>>57246439

I like this bait.

lmao crippled avatars

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>>57246356
I'm running the comfiest start screen ever. Find a flaw

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>>57246473
NO BULLY
O

B
U
L
L
Y

>>57246457

0 USB PORTS

>>57245422
>No Sticky
Mods being applefags as usual

>billion people who use windows
hmmm

POO

SIEEF MY SON

>only Surface Pros on the table
They don't even use Surface Books

>>57246492

All the poos desu.

POOJEETS

POO IN LOOS

>tfw watching on Xbox One

literally pajeet xDDD

Thank you for ruining Windows Sieef

link for mpv?

Windows 10 cure cancer how can other OS can even compete

>>57246421
"We made an android emulator in win10 mobile. All Android apps are now compatible with pour phones"

REACHED OUT ON LINKEDIN

ON

LINKEDIN

holy shit did anyone else get ear raped by that loud sound? not sure how to explain it, its like a loud screech

It's my fap machine.

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>>57246537
just an audio glitch senpai. pretty common

>>57246537
Only in last year event

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>>57245422

>>57246543

>fapping at your kitchen table

>secure your identity

Kek, for the NSA?

>>57246478
You're an emotionally unbalanced weeb for one

>>57246537
>listening at a high enough colume that it hurts your ears

enjoy being deaf in 3 years

>>57245422
They are gonna bring back the Zune and imma cry cause I got a fiio

NO APOSTROPHE
NO APOSTROPHE

Fucking to much innovation bro

>>57246585

Plural, not possessive.

This thread is moving so fast nobody knows I use windows 10 and like it.

>Creators update

How about you fags "create" a way to make Windows not be a giant piece of shit.

"Best 4K gaming"

that fucking meme xD

>Minecraft

POOJEET PLS

Office for Minecraft confirmed

>minecon
Damn. That must be kid hell

his penis is erect

e r e c t
r
e
c
t

P E N I S
E
N
I
S

> That corny, cliche background music

>Windows 10 has 3D
How can anyone else even compete?

>this screentearing on the stream
fuck 3D, I want my eyes intact

qt

Would you fuck her /g/?

Do they release a 3d printer at this event?

GNU infiltrating Microsoft!
Race war now

>>57246646

I'd fire her

>>57246637
Maybe in 15 years we'll get 3D mode in GIMP

Get to the damn point, I understand 3D and creativity are important.

>>57246616
You don't even fucking know
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_2ROQMeAGg

oh my fuck the amount of obnoxious hipster feel-good videos is too big

>women and minorities only
ah yes

3D PIG DISGUSTING

applel should just buy micropoo desu

like giant toolbars

STICKY&MEGATHREAD MODS

>>57246668
We Wuz space and shiet

> handling surfacebooks like paper
Fucking Qatar I swear

Surface phone when?

Revolutionary! Fucking retards

WOW, IT'S MS PAINT

>>57246667

I don't think these ones have been that obnoxious to be honest.

zbrush btfo

>>57246671
They've been losing sales on the iPhone for 3 quarters now, and all of their new products have shit design. They wouldn't do anything better.

>to many tool bar

These people are fucking retarded

I'm kinda disgusted by the fake enthusiasm

>>57246669
2D IS DEAD

>>57246681
Wait for the fedora guy

>EPIC

First against the wall, mate.

>that qt in the end

fug

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>Windows 10 is literally 3DPD
Recommend me a 2D OS /g/

so extremely simplistic """creativity""" software + touch screen integration which is used at what? art class in well equipped elementary schools?

so it's like windows movie maker but for 3d

3D MSPAINT "EPIC!" "ENPOWERING!" "REVOLUTIONARY!"

SIMPLY EPIN :^)

#DicksOutForMicrosoft

WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING. THIS IS RETARDED

DirectX 11/12 Open Source with GPL :^)

>>57246706
GNU/kFreeBSD

>DDD MEMES
>DDD MEMES
>DDD MEMES
>DDD MEMES

>12 to 24
What the fuck do others think then, what where the other options

MICROSOFT INVENTED CREATIVITY

Did i just watch a 3 minutes ad for 3D builder ?

that 3d phone scanning is really cool actually

cool algorithm

#3dmemesmatter

3D scanning feature is actually pretty cool t b h .. . . .

>>57246733
It's just ms paint

HIW MANY 3D DICKS WILL WE MAKE!

Surface Phone ded confirmed.

>Microsoft discovers 3d modeling
literally what is this

PAINT
A
I
N
T

>Paint
>popular

WAT

I CAN'T WATCH RIGHT NOW WHEN ARE THEY GONNA RELEASE THE 3DPD MS PAINT

>>>/3/ on suicide watch

>>57246741
>It's just ms paint
no it's not. It's called create

>>57246749
They are talking about it now

Gents, behold, the new age of memes upon us.

>>57246738
Introducing 3D profile pictures for Tinder

>>57246741
Even worse

>every Month
>millions of artists
Kekykeke

Paint 3D

>>57246752
LITERALLY PAINT 3D

>>57246749

With the OS update in early 2017, presumably.

>the most common thing to do in paint is to prop a photo
No, it's editing screenshots you fuck
stop ruining it with 3F

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>>57246748
>he doesnt know

Damn that scanning looks ebin.

Paint has never and will never be a tool for productivity. Why are they focusing on it so much?

Buying a WP now.

LAYERS
A
Y
M
A
O

>all this shitposting fuel
wew lads

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>>57246773
>paint isn't a took for prooductivity

>>57246756
3 D M E M E S
D
M
E
M
E
S

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PAINT SAVED!!!

>>57246769
Surface pro 4 already did it with front camera long ago

>emoji on front page
Nigga i kill u

It's not even 15 minutes in and I'm already done,

People keep on bashing MS but you have to admit they' re shitting out some interesting stuff lately.
By the way is this event just for software or is there a chance of some hololens/surface announcements?

>3D PRINT MINECRAFT MODELS

WOW
WOAH
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

3D print your minecraft penises

3D

PIG

DISGUSTING

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>this is why notch is now a billionaire

Road so far
3d
>3d
3d
>3d
3d
>3d
3d
>3d
3d
>3d
3d
>3d
3d
>3d
3d
>stream lags
>3d
3d
>3d
3d
>3d
3d
>3d
3d
>3d
3d
>3d
3d
>3d

>>57246785
No, it's not a took

>>57246797
Hardware won't be until next year unless they pull something out of their ass here.

what will they ruin next? any bets?

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>>57246808

guess I fucked that up didn't I

>microsoft wants their own pinterest
just buy it

>>57246794
wit what program?

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>>57246756
>>57246786

Holy shit.

>>57245422
>Imagine what you'll do
The image implies nothing but a boring 9-5 office job drawing UML diagrams and pretend to be a capable businessman towards the managers who do exactly the same thing.

B O A R D S
O
A
R
D
S

>>57246797
>surface
Only thing PEOPLE are HERE for
Also sorry for capitals, phone Fucks up

Why are they ruining paint?

>>57246785
>Lacks the most basic of features
>Outclassed by literally any other program
It's not. Anything you can do in paint, you can do far better in another program.

Microsoft should hire people to clap

They don't sound very enthusiastic about anything yet

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SURFACE BOOK 2 WHEN

W
H
E
N?

BAD HOMBRE

E M O J I T E C H N O L O G Y

they are so fucking lost with this

MAKE YOUR OWN EMOJI!!!!!!

SALES UP 50000000000$

>>57246845

They're cutting it.

>displaying clipart-tier tools in paint

Is microsoft literally run by madmen?

>doilooklikeigiveaheck.jpg

Isnt that the anarchism road meme?

>3D MEME FACES
ITS OVER, APPLE IS BANKRUPT AND FINISHED

It's all 3d now.

Who the fuck is going to use this as anything more than a novelty?

what the fuck is this

they're going to ruin paint as well

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would you waifu?

>emojis
>facebook

here comes the money

You'll use it once and forget about it

>>57246874

Megan was cuter desu

>>57246870
it's 3d MAGIC

>3D POWERPOINT

WOW, IT'S FUCKING NOTHING

>>57246874
I love her voice and have a fetish for slightly tomyboyish girls.

yeah now i can see powepoint micromanagement graphs at work in 3d

>>57246874
she looks better than the other one

>>57246873
It's still got everything the old paint did, but now with 3d gimmicks.

/3/ on suicide watch.

But why

>>57246887
No she doesn't you cuck

How quickly can I expect 3D dragon dildo memes, /g/?

That spin really mattered wtf I hate 2d now.

>>57246874
>3dpd

oh yes, i need cool 3d animations in my presentation

The PowerPoint thing is pretty cool I guess.

>>57246903
does too you gayboy

That's kinda neat to be honest

>>57246910
ikr the 3d transitions slide-to-slide are so fucking cool

GIMP IS STILL BETTER YOU FUCKS

All just laying the ground for Hololens

>>57246892
I'm sorry did you miss the "social sidebar" they're adding? Why does everything have to have a fucking social share facebook page aspect to it as well? I just want to use paint for what it's good at.

AYO

>>57246922
yeah that was before slide show started. it is neato

Edge is not gonna happen

STOP SCREAMING WHOOO FUCKING HELL

L I T E R A L L Y

no white males!!!!!!!!!!!!!


2016 is here :') we did it senpaitachi

>>57246925
>muh freedomz

fuck you

SWEATERVEST

GIVE IT BACK, TAJ

>hololens
>for everyone

MS finally gone completely senile

this nigga is a good presenter

>>57246928
I don't know nigga, I'm just saying you can still do all that shit. Also, paint is good at nothing.

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WE

https://remix3d.com/discover

so when can I get a hololens?

>>57246936
it already happened. It is the best browser you can use on windows.

>tfw finally got to try the hololens last week
>tfw slightly disappointing

SHITPOSTING IN 3D

>now that we are done with 3D... MORE 3D
JESUS
Is this year new xbone television?

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SOMEONE PLS MAKE A MODEL OF MY WAIFU NOW

>Hologram
wut
a hologram that requires a headset to be seen?
triggered

living with my waifu is closer than ever

>>57246953
WUZ

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Why don't you have a hololens /g/?

>reading my trap doujins fullscreen against the wall

>>57246962
>wanting your waifu to be 3DPD

>You wouldn't download an anime figure

>>57246969

3D

>that one single clap
lost

that's kinda neat

Digital chair is not a smart move desu

That is great for measuring for furniture

>>57246970
That's pretty neat, but not that useful.

sadly fake presentation - again
chair was in place before he started moving

Holy fuck that was so awkward hahaha

>>57246976
They really need to fucking buy some audience. I hope someone captured that split second of cringe on presenters face.

I need 3D models of anime figures now.

>Projection of him moves before he moves
IT'S KINECT ALL OVER

>Can't click on the chair to make another copy

This seems so fundamental why is microsoft so retarded?

How long until super autismal holo second life?

They are going to give all niggers and problem humans free hololenses.

Then lock them up into small rooms until they die.

>>57247007
hmmmm....


*runs to the patent office*

>>57247005

>implying this is a finalized product

>that loading time

ofc

Yeah but why

>>57247015
cant wait

>imagine what you'll do
nothing to be honest

Where the fuck is Panos?

These are all going to be terrible.

>>57247019
*teleports in front of you*

*registers patent first*

"Heh, nothin personnel, kid."

$299 hololens????????????????????????

>300
yeah nah, it's gonna be trash

>VR meme

Just no

>>57247020
>implying that isn't something that you should do literally as the first thing after you are able to place objects

299 Dollarus confirmed

>>57247033
I guess you're just not a Creator™, anon

>>57247051
$299 shitty VR goggle

>>57247054

I don't disagree, but this is Microautism we're talking about.

we /v/ now

But will it have room-scale and support SteamVR?

No laughs
No claps
Only akward

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why are they using outdated tech...

>my wife's son

Who Cubs here?

I can watch Doto 2 in AR now?

>that speed up after the bad joke
wew, it's like E3-lite

here it comes, minecraft mentioned
>>57247067
we are /v/ for quite a while already

"I think half of them could be by my son..."
-Silence-
-deafening silence-

>>57247044
*it was just a hologram*

*you finally notice the hololense on your head*

*I had registered the patent an hour ago*

passion
innovation
inspiring us
Designed for the best experience
inspiring creator

solitaire vr

Woo

Bring out Phil Spencer

Jesus m8, no one is clapping, stop doing spaces between monologues.

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WHO /v/ here?!

>Female gamer

JUST NO

FLIGHT SIMULATOR IS COMING BACK SS THIS

Jesus Christ.

>>57247073
because bash on windows is still in beta

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>ESPORTS
>Games are so shit now, people rather watch some faggot play them than play them themselves.

>muh extreme gamer gurl

>>57247065
Ya but its just so disappointing, the 1% of the code to make it usable they never make, but write the fucking 99% of it that is so much more difficult to create and develop.

>>57247092
[upbeat ukelele music intensifies]

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DO MICROSOFT EVEN EMPLOY MEN NOW????????????????????????

>>57247104
>that webm
I hate you and Konami
FUCKING PACHINKO

>>57247051
$299 for HTC Vive / Shitulus rift copy

does anyone have another stream link other than the ms one? it lags like shit for me senpai

>>57247117
She's got a cute Adams apple

>>57247122
That was for a pachinko machine? kek

>We want Twitch audience

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>>57247122

>>57247114

Indeed, that's the autistic way.

>>57247127
it lags for everyone, superior microsoft technolodgy

what

Twitch BTFO

Why are they copying applel's hip keynotes?

BOTNET
O
T
N
E
T

TIME TO OFFROAD THAT VEHICLE

>>57247136
Yeah. It hurts.

>>57247138
STOP TRIGGERING ME

>>57246962
No. You're waifu a shit.

>>57247127
>>57247144

It's fine for me.

>it's shit

>>57247137
and guess what you won't be able to delete jsut like xbox app

>>57247151
they've been copying for years now :^)

>lulz

>>57247137
I'm sure that twitch is loving this right now.

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>>57247136
yep

>>57247172
Trying way too hard to look hip

>why does microsoft keeps on dadjoke level presentations?

>>57247127
>>57247144
verizon / PA / 720p

no lag at all

>that painfully fake chat

LOOK AT THE CHAT WINDOW-OW-ow-ow

So are they making an OBS alternative or what

Y'all

This is all shit that Microsoft should have been doing 3 or 4 years ago.

>>57247191
>doesn't understand ironic dry humor

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>>57247144

oh god this bullshit

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>>57247191
>nooooiiiitiiiceee chuuaat wiiinndooo

>>57247179
Jesus. I never followed that whole thing but I totally get the hate now.

>>57247166
>Get-AppxPackage *xboxapp* | Remove-AppxPackage

I don' t understand, will anyone in chat be able to spam those buttons to tell the streamer to "NOTICE THE CHAT WINDOWWwwww"?

Is that steam?

Who give a shit about game. Next please

fucking shit stream
>50mb internet

>>57247199
>>57247185
guess it sucks just for europe

https://beam.pro/Xbox

the chat is so fake

how the hell do they go from a 8/10 conference last year to this shit

you loose - you're out.
>waits for laughter

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>>57247208
They even remade it in the MGS5 engine , here's a snippet of the gameplay

>>57247212
you can simply disable it in control panel it won't start, but still i'd like an option to uninstall it like any other app

Who's this Arayan Valkyrie?

europoor here, this stream works well for me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMeA14gaLvs

>>57247221
werks on my machine ;)

>fortsa

>please buy an Xbone...!

>>57247232
Because they are betting on the gaming audience that actually buys computers compared to their current dwindling market.

>>57247252
>Forzeda

>stunning
>looks like crysis on low to medium

>>57247231
when did beam launch. i never heard of it before

>>57247246
cheers anon

wtf is dolby atmos

DOLBY

>>57247246
it's a few seconds back, but much better yay now I can enjoy the cringe uninterrupted

NEW THREAD WHEN

>finally something that can generate claps

>ms tries to sell you an xbone
>you had one already

>>57247269
Piece of shit which needs to diea

>thanks y'all

>>57247262

Gaming is dead.

>>57247269
shooting sound up at your ceiling

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3D DOLBY MEMES

"thanks y'all! :3"

omg shes so cute ! ! ! jenn is my waifu

wait, that's actually nice thing with dolby

>IM FROM TEXAS YALL

Why didn't she race her oversized pickup truck in Fortsa?

>>57247299
you have pretty low standarts for imagination.

>1 more fucking woman

>>57247269
its a thing for cars that will begin emitting a gas that will allow some aliens to exterminate us

>>57247301

/hpg/ owns /g/.

>>57247269
The software allows for better positioning audio. The problem is that it requires dedicated speakers to not sound horrible. There is no reason to use more than 5.1 surround sound.

"WE HATE MEN TOO" - Microsoft, 2016.

DTS mkvs when

>>57247316
back to your containment thread goy

huh, so that's who made all those terrible decisions?

Why so many women?

>A FUCKING WHITE FEMALE

>>57247330
because current year

>>57247325

I didn't mean I'm from there, just stating the autistic truth.

Is this skype

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comfy

>even more forced social media shit
thanks m$

>>57247337
skype needs to go.

>Putting faces on the Start Menu

FUCK OFF, POOJEETS

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who is your waifu so far in this event?

what the fuck is this forced social media bloat

Jesus Christ, Microsoft. This is awful. Just show some neat hardware.

>>57247301
>>57247316
Nobody cares about Atmos in /hpg/. Nobody here has an Atmos system anyway and the content mastered for it is extremely niche and rare. It's usless.

>>57247311
>>57247323
>>57247330
it's the creators update, it's all about stuff that doesn't matter.

>instead of fixing tablet mode they add more bloaT

THE FRICTION IS REDUCED
Thank you, start menu

>>57247338
she probably responsible for cortana, wifi sharing and all that other crap nobody uses

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>>57247338
>>57247347

>>57247347
She has a fly on her forehead nigga

and im done :|

Kinda neat t b h.

>>57247347
shes definitly worst waifu