Tech illiterate people stories thread

>>56200143
>facebook
get out?

>>56200153
It wasn't even Fagboq

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>>56200143
>that Middle Eastern anon who got smacked hard by his mom with his snapped Nintendo ds

Are Middle Eastern parents really like that? No wonder so many of them allahuakbar

>>56200171
that was a brety gud one

>>56200171
Oh that guy doesn't he live in australia

>>56200171
I wonder if he bought another?

>>56201205
I got a psp phat instead.

And yes, that was me.

>>56200171
story pls

>>56201873
from old thread
probably should start to put old thread part to my threads
>>56201841
when was that, the ds ?
the psp is godly tho
still have it

>Be me
>Be in college in the early 2000s
>On my university online forums
>See a message from a group of girls saying 'can anyone help us set up our wifi?'
>Respond yes, they go 'oh great anon, we live here, can you come over? We will bake you cookies.'
>I respond yes, head over.
>Apartment has 4 cutie co-eds in it. Get their wireless router set up, then go into bedroom where one of the girl's PCs needed a wifi card installed
>While doing this, blonde cutie girl comes in with a guy and goes 'oh hi anon, this is my boyfriend so-and-so.'
>I say hi, go back to work
>Blonde and boyfriend start making out on bed, petting eachother, etc.
>'I... I can come back later and finish up here...'
>'Oh, no worries anon, you can keep working there.'
>They keep going, eventually she is in her underwear, guy is in his boxers.
>Wifi card in installed, but no drivers installed yet.
>'Uh... I will come back later to finish this up.'
>'Oh, OK anon'
>They go back to sexytime.
>I go back into main room, shoot the shit with the other girls, who are annoyed that blonde is in the bedroom getting it on.
>I eat some cookies, talk a bit more, say I'll come back later to finish things up.

Came back later that day, finished things up. Group of girls was super cool, invited me to a bunch of parties they threw/were invited to. Was really awkward doing tech work while a couple was getting ready to screw in the same room though.

>>56201922
>didn't join
keep it legit anon

>>56201943
I was younger and innocent and still had a shot at wizardry back then, anon. Joining in probably would have resulted in never getting to know the other girls though, and getting to know them paid off pretty well.

>>56201986
how much? enough to get a hooker to cosplay as a dino?

>>56202025
Do you even read dude

>>56202147
I asked a hooker to do as I said and asked pretty well too. Just wondered how nuch?

>>56201908
The ds was back when I was in HS. Not sure exactly when, it was shortly after the ds came out, but later though that prices had dropped a little.

My poor nintendogs are still starving ;_;

I still use the psp for emulation and the occasional nostalgia game.

Also any tips on identifying the graphics card in my "new" alienware?
All it says is hd6900m series.

>>56202199
He was invited to parties they threw and apparently had a blast, plus he got free cookies

>>56202278
Cookies alone isn't enough. Where is milk?
>>56202270
Check your model's specs from interwebs. If you can't find shit, try auto driver installers from AMD/Nvidia.

>>56202278
I think that guy is confusing girls with hookers.
The fine line does exist, even if it is blurry.

>be me, 12 years old
>elementary school, computer class
>we do ms office shit i hate
>bored as fuck
>as the end of class comes i randomly edit hosts file to fuck with the next guy sitting there
>internet doesnt work enymore
>leave
>a week later its computer class again
>want to sit at same computer
>teacher says choose another one bc it doesnt have internet
>mfw it guy couldnt fix it
>get a genius idea
>say no prob, we will use office anyway
>start up pc
>do class
>when its almost end and we get to browse internet for 10 minutes i write back original entries to the hosts file
>tell teacher to come here
>say i fixed internet and show file
>she is frozen
>finish clsss
>sometime later it guy gets fired
>mfw

I think i made him get fired but not sure because he was a stupid fuck to begin with

>>56202318
But 3D girls ARE hookers. You browse /g/ god damnit.

>>56202278

I am wifi-anon. This anon is correct. In addition to the parties, the girls would have me over for dinner a few times a month, and they also hooked me up with a few of their friends over the year. It was a good deal for me all around. I doubt any of that would have happened had I not had the wherewithal to avoid losing my virginity in what would have been a very awkward MFM threesome.

Addendum - none of the girls involved was a hooker. I have lost touch with them, so maybe they have descended into hooking, but I'd be surprised.

One of them was Jewish (a poli-sci major), though, and obsessed with finding a Jewish doctor or lawyer to marry. Outside of that she was fine, but man can the Jew side of a girl come out sometimes. That is about as whore-ish as it got. The others were all cool. One was a mathematics major, another English, and I forget the major of the 4th.

>>56202397
did the jew one hot
and hot i mean
hitler hot

>>56202319
no one would get fired for that, especially in a comfy school IT job
either youre full of shit or he being fired was unrelated

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>>56200143
>go on /g/
>some faggot posts something containing the word "normie"

>>56202310
Already have drivers, just asking out of curiosity

>>56202514
gpu z

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>>56200143
>internet down at friend of a friend's place
>reboot modem when they were outta the room
>internet back working like a champ
>holy shit man, here's 20 dollar

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>install raspi at work at MY office to watch some anime, or tv shows (hentai pr0n at nights maybe)
>people come in to my office
>think it's a "h4x0r" work
>to_the_trash.png
>tell me they did that and i should thank them
>thank them
>left job

>>56202319
What did you change to kill the internet? From my understanding you use it to an link ip address to a host name. Did you link Google to 0.0.0.0 or something?

>>56203713
kek

>>56200143
Calling bullshit. Fb forced HTTPS since firebug vulnerability back in 08

>>56203912
Think you mean Firesheep. Also I think FB is still vulnerable to it since it sends the session cookies over regular HTTP still...

>>56202492
This. The non-reddit term is "normalfag"

>>56203912
this was back in the day
not like you
summerfag

>>56203912
kek, nothing screams underage b8 like your post

>helping friend install new graphics card
>all set up, good to go
>I plug in monitor to onboard video
>wtf why no picture?
>realize 20 minutes later that I'm fucking retarded

>>56203713
>>thank them
full on beta mode engaged

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fresh from /vg/

>>56201922
but did you finish it up anon

>>56204095
I had the guy's nudes as I was working IT. Sent them to boss. He deserved it.

>>56204154
this and this >>56204123
is not funny. Why even bother post it?

>>56204161
because it's cont part (which not funny but still cont)

>>56204161
Why do you assume funny things must be posted? the OP didn't say funny tech illiterate stories.

>>56200143
>be on autistic school IT team
>none of them can get to Snapchat from phones
>I can't get to 4chan from mine
>we use Betternet (VPN app)
>head IT doofus says how it's a "hack" and that this is "super illegal" and to not tell anyone about what we're doing

>>56204123
>gif
fuck you I can't zoom on gif on Clover

>>56203875
It didn't happen

>>56205925
>he put Sage in the name field
What's a "Sage" anyway?

>>56204123
>gif
kys

>>56204037
This sort of thing always happens to me. I'm "le friend who is good with computer majik" but I've never done anything formal, I just know how to build a rig and use windows.

>>56206000
Sage goes in all fields

>>56207562
It is a tech illiterate thread after all.

>>56200143
>browses Facebook
>calls other people normies

>>56202492
>posts an ancient meme that only sites like 9gag use
>calls other people newfags

>>56200143
>facebook
you're the only tech illiterate here

>go to shitty day treatment program for school
>they dont have an IT guy
>word goes around that my sperg ass knows shit about computers
>3x a week i get pulled out of class by staff for simple shit (projectors not being on, 2nd monitors n shit)

I got the password to the good wifi (no filter and fast because nobody used it except guests) so i watched youtube all day on my tablet and torrented shit overnight on a shitty pentium m laptop i convinced staff to let me use. Still passed all my classes with Bs.

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>>56207728

>>56204123
>5D's could have been good all the way through if not for sex cult
Fucking hell

>>56207753
>>>/9gag/

>>56200171
Kek

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>>56207872
Learn how things work, ffs newfag

>in college 2014
>Working on final project for Networking class
>Kid needs to ping a machine to see if its up
>Kid already had PowerShell up working on a script
>Saves and closes PowerShell and searches for cmd through start menu.
>Doesn't just ping through PowerShell
>Doesn't just type cmd in PowerShell
My instructor saw it and told him to get out

>>56208065
Faggots at 9gag are the only ones using those shitty memes.
Now fuck off, retarded underage child.

>>56208160
>underage child
Been here for a decade now, shithead. Now just leave, if you don't want memes to (re-)emerge on the internet's meme-machine.

>>56208185
You've been here since you were 2???

The WiFi password of the school's network was printed on the bottom of the router that was located in a class.

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>be CS student
>browse through the uni's ssh server to look up something
>look at the output of ps -A out of sheer curiosity
>500 instances of the same programming exercise running since july 6, all launched by the same student

why

just built new pc for first time this week.

how do you know if you have a virus or rootkit or some bullshit? i installed a ton of stupid shit pirated thing, some shit i downloaded for apple drivers to get my apple keyboard to work on pc, ton of other dumb shit. now im paranoid i have some backdoor shit on my pc and my ocd really hates this.

my HD light is blinking like every 3 seconds too when im just browsing online and watching streams and it just reminds me how SSD's have a limited number of read/writes and its making me hate that too.

what anti virus malware shit do u guys use?

>>56209340
You are retarded.

>>56209482
nah just paranoid and slightly ocd.

>>56209340
Platter hard drives have a limited number of writes too.

>>56209524
i suppose youre right. my 8 year old drive never died so i should be good i guess. with a newer SSD.

>>56209520
>slightly ocd

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>>56206000
I think people say sage because it's called Säge (Chainsaw) on Krautchan, a German imageboard. I think it sounded better than bump limit.
Correct me, if I'm wrong.

(You don't bump the thread with sage or Säge.)

>>56209644
*Sorry, not chainsaw but saw.

>Selbstsäge weil Übersetzungsversagen

>>56209644
>Correct me, if I'm wrong.
You're wrong.
Sage comes from 2chan, the Japanese predecessor to 4chan. Krautchan just uses Säge cause it looks similar and kind of seems to make sense in a way (actually it doesn't).

>>56209667
Thank you, learned something.

>>56201922
YOU HAD A FUCKING CHANCE

[spoiler] and you didnt install gentoo on her laptop [/spoiler]

>>56205579
Kek

>>56209726

Kek. It was a desktop though. And Gentoo had been out for maybe a year or so? I didn't know about it at any rate.

>>56209790
its a good story regardless
too bad some faggot will screencap it for /r/4chan

bump

>girlfriend fell for one of those "important security message. you have a virus. give us your credit card number." popups
>had to call the indian fuck and berate him for phishing
>cancel her credit card and clean install windows

She's actually become much better with tech after that, with me teaching her.

>>56201922
Reminds me of that picture where a guy is getting laid on the bed whilst some other guy is browsing 4chan in the background.

>>56208185
>he wants over-used and shitty 9gag and leddit memes to re-emerge
>>>/b/

>>56200143
>Working for small business (~250 people)
>Unofficial sysadmin because I'm the only one who knows GPO, AD, server configuration, VMWare, KVM, Cisco HW, Hyper-V and several other necessary things
>Decide to take on a side gig (one-time thing)
>RAID 1 failure
>Easy enough
>It's a medical practice using an old workstation with a fakeraid
>Fucking fuck, I deal with real RAID and software raid
>Asks about upgrading, impossible because he's using a 16-bit application that's already 20+ years old
>Copy bunch of medical data onto a thumb drive in case this stupid ass fakeraid blows everything away
>Finally rebuilt after booting into Hirens and installing fakeraid software
>Never went back

I was completely taken aback that a medical practice had this absolute shitshow. To make matters worse this was the computer that controlled the X-Ray machine.

>>56209983
Most of these places simply don't have the budget to replace stuff that works.

This one happened last night

>I went to this girl's house and met her parents
>They hear that I'm a computer-guy
>The dad leaves for work and later the mom is talking to me about how the dad has a laptop that he keeps locked down and inaccessible to anybody
>She thinks he's hiding something from her and, based on hearing that I'm good with computer, is opening up to me on how she can see what's on it
>I hear her explain how he somehow removed the port that you plug a power cable into so that you can't power it on. It sounds weird to me, but I go along with it.
>I realize that this is seriously fucked up and that I should tell the mom that she should talk it out and have faith in her husband, but I don't want to say anything to upset her.
>instead, I tell her that you could probably remove the harddrive, put it into an external enclosure, plug it into another computer, and snoop on it all you want, but all the while I'm distancing myself from having anything to do with this whole process.

>>56209979
Valid linking. Tough i don't spot them 24/7. I just find them still funny in situations where they're fitting.
Especially now, where people constantly try to create forced memes.

>>56210030
Yea, but using fakeraid is a terrible choice in any situation other than home-use. Fakeraid doesn't come with any kind of warranty so it would have been the same to grab a used hw raid card off ebay.

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>>56210120
Intrigued. Don't just leave us hanging anon. Follow up for the memes

>>56210120
more

>>56208114
>college
>networking class
>powershell

The instructor should be fired, in all seriousness.

>>56209337
This was me.

Generated 16gb of error logs before I knew what I was doing.

>>56210120
Well, that family is going to be destroyed.

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>son what is this error??
>walk over
>fake pajeet BSOD
>write down pajeet phone number
>install uBlock Origin
>180 out of there

>call up pajeet
>HELLO SIR THIS IS PREMIUM MICROSOFT TECH SUPPORT ARRON SPEAKING
>Yes, My pc is currently displaying this error, can you help me?
>YES SIR PLEASE PRESS THE LITTLE BUTTON WITH 4 FLAGS AND PRESS "R" AS IN ROMEO IN THE SAME TIME
>I NEED YOU TO TYPE IN THE FOLLOWING
Eventvwr
>Sir it popped up another error
>it says "indian scammer faggots need to poo in the loo"
>says something along the lines of "fuck you" in moonrune
>hangs up

>>56201922

I would have just left, they clearly didn't respect you. I would have just given them a look and said "uh, do you mind?" Second time, "I'll come back later. Maybe."