Hi /g/. I asked my boss yesterday to change the monitor of

High voltage

he'll know, leave it

>>52880486
Just break it.
What is he going to do, fire you?
Surely, you're more valuable than the price of a monitor?

>>52880486
Just buy your own display faget

>>52880529
>buying your own work equipment
>spending your own paycheck on equipment in order to do your job
now that's a level of cuckoldry i can't get behind

>>52880538
>not doing it

Nigger if you want that monitor so badly buy it. I do this for my work because i need the comfy chair and all that

>>52880538
I've seen people do this. I think it's perceived as more elitist than getting cucked. All your co-workers chuckle since you are such a huge faggot that you had to go out and buy a "better" monitor because the provided one wasn't good enough. Most people just think a monitor is a monitor.

Anybody out there knows anything that add some weird effects to the screen?

>>52880538
You can just take the display with you when you leave tard

>>52880548
i'm not spending my own money on work equipment just to do what i'm being paid to do
the company should pay for that

>>52880583
that is extra work on my part, not to mention money the company is saving by having me buy my own work equipment on my dime and I will not be having any of it

>>52880579
No, now stop bitching and either wate for it to break or go buy your precious 21:10 OLED bullshit monitor you want your Boss to buy you for your work

>>52880579
If its a DVI/VGA display try breaking one of the pins

>>52880613
I meant when you quit not when you leave everyday, otherwise just steal from the company to recoup the costs

>>52880486
Can you come up with an argument that your productivity will increase with a new monitor?

Sabotaging your monitor will only undermine whatever trust your boss has in you.

What a fucking crybaby. Fucking millenials.

OP why don't you just break it?
Surely, the cost of a new monitor is much less than the lost time and productivity from firing you, hiring a replacement and then training them to replace you?

>>52880486
>talk to boss
>"will replace it only if it breaks"
>monitor suddenly breaks
not suspicious at all

>>52880625
It is. What is a pin? How to break them?

>>52880650
It's from the early 2000s

>>52880658
Thanks. Obviously I have to mask it as it's a purely accidental thing

>>52880486
magnets would fuck up easily a CRT. No idea about new lcd's

>>52880673
> It's from the early 2000s
That's not an argument. You need to explain to your boss why a new monitor will make you more productive, or alternatively, why your current one is hindering you.

>>52880613
Buy your monitor and write it off on your taxes.

>>52880673
Is your boss tech illiterate?
I don't what kind of job tonnage, but maybe you can wait until you are doing something process-heavy and do whatever to break the screen (high voltage) and say that it happened while you were doing such task

>having to beg your boss for functional equipment just to do your job
lol americucks

>>52880715
Ehm, I'm from Italy :^)

>>52880728
lol yurocuck

Fucking American chunt racists

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>>52880673
>What is a pin? How to break them?
You really are on the wrong board, aren't you?
Pins are the tiny metal rods coming out of these things.
Look on the documentation and break the one that carries a single colour, this way it will tint the screen HEAVILY with either green/blue/red or some other retardedly bad colour.
If they call someone who's not retarded they will just replace the cable with a 5 dollar one and you'll be set back at the start, plus the manager will be on your ass because you broke a monitor shortly after you asked for a new one.

>>52880524
An employee that is willing to destroy the company's property to get what ever he wants has effectively less value than a monitor.

>>52880486
Kill yourself and quit your job, moron.

>>52880673
>What is a pin? How to break them?
Don't do it man. They'll bust you.

>>52880486
Get a CRT monitor that looks the same from the front, create a hidden compartment to hide the degauss button.
Talk to the janitor and bribe him with some lasagna to get access to the office after hours.
Call your buddies to do a reverse oceans 11 coup and replace it in the middle of the night and don't sleep so you will have a tired look about you.

Do a magnets how do they work dance the next day and call the boss.
He arrives to your desk, sees the demons on the monitor, takes a look at your tired eyes:

>mama mia! sorry about that mario, you were right. I'll call the IT to replace the monitor with a 4k model, in the meanwhile grab yourself a pizza.

How hard is this OP?

>>52880673
Buddy you sound retarded. You just want a big monitor, to be cool.

>>52880486
that's just silly op he'll know for sure

stop being an idiot and just do your job

>>52880728
Io ho regalato il mio monitor da 27 pollici al disegnatore che lavora da mia padre, sperando che avrei giocato di meno, poi ovviamente me ne sono preso un' altro e sono ancora asuefatto ai videogiochi.

>>52880878

Better to just take a toothpick with salt water on the end and stick it in the holes the pin enters. Then hook it all back up and turn it on.

>>52881083
XD ... Ma che cazzo amigo?!

È cosi che ti hanno insegnato a scrivere!?

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>>52881157
>XD
>amigo

>>52881226
That's what I say when some half Italian spells trash. I really didn't understand a thing

>>52880486
>ask boss for new monitor
>boss wants to wait until it breaks
>it magically breaks

pleb, enjoy unemployment

>>52881242
seriously, this. are you retarded, OP?

this would be like asking if you could take next monday off, getting told no, and then calling in sick. there's an off chance it'll be legitimate, but he'll immediately assume that you lied to him, and I don't see how you can dig out of that hole.

Now I'm actually scared it accidentally breaks

>>52881279
is this "employment" thing going to high school and is your step dad this "boss" you're referring to?

>>52881295
You're right! If I told it since the beginning nobody would have listened to me. Thanks anyway

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>>52880728
Che monitor hai allora, ancora non lo dici. Comunque non mi vengono in mente modi che non sembrino sospetti, se è un CRT magneti ma l'effetto è temporaneo. Se fa veramente schifo vai su subito.it e con due lire ti compri qualcosa di meglio, al massimo lo metti in dual monitor.
Pic related, ne trovi anche a meno

>>52880486

OP just give a blowjob to your boss, one more won't be such a big deal right?

>>52881478
>NA
>implying that it is not a brick

>>52881113

This is devious


I love it

>>52880900

dude you have no idea. Steve Jobs came to power by breaking anything he didn't like. He once kicked a cripple in a wheel chair down a flight of stairs.

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>>52881478

Get your own, the boss might like it and the producitivity increase might get you a payraise

>>52880486
what res is it?
what is your job?

unless you wait a good few months before it breaks it looks suspicious.

unless you can frame someone else.

maybe get someone else to lift the monitor, but somehow make them drop it?

kinda immoral, i wouldn't do it.

Just drop a coffee "accidentaly" on your monitor.

>>52880529
this. i got a 20" 1600x1200 IPS off ebay for $60usd shipped. well worth it to make my job easier

>>52881578
Steve Jobs enjoyed eating balut & farting in people's faces. FACT!

>>52881540
Chitemmuort
.
.
.
.
No scherzo, si probabile ma è il primo che ho trovato e il punto è che il mercato offre alternative economiche

>>52880613
>that is extra work on my part, not to mention money the company is saving by having me buy my own work equipment on my dime and I will not be having any of it
you think the same way your boss is

deal with it, get your own damn monitor if you want it, otherwise use the monitor provided

>>52880486
As someone who works in IT i hope you don't get a new one after pulling this BS cause we know damn well if you broke it or not. We are used to seeing people breaking shit to get replacements and it does not work. Not to mention breaking it after you have mentioned you want a new one is fucking retarded cause it will look like you really did break it.

>>52880486
>tfw can't replace monitor at work as we are all supplied with crappy HP AIOs

>>52880486
Ask him every seven days, no more frequently than that. Start leaving copies of your resume around "accidentally" so that he finds them. See where this is going?

>>52880486
>"the monitor will only be replaced if it breaks"
>shortly thereafter it suspiciously breaks

Doesn't look suspicious at all familam

>>52881831
Maledizione, seiamo su youtube o facebook?

>>>/out/

>>52882202
>seiamo
????

>>52880728
Just bribe your boss then

>>52880990
Sorry for being a tard but what part does the degauss button in this scheme?

>>52880571
I bought my own mouse, and I don't think anyone have noticed.

>>52882277
it's for triple dubs

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>>52880486
MAGNETS

Apply 220V to usb port

>>52882726
Gr8, I'll post results

>>52881113
OP, do this

>>52882940
Magnets don't do shit, unless you still have a CRT

>>52883041
It isn't ... x,(

Unplug and plug in over and over until it won't come on anymore

BTW your boss doesn't think you contribute anything otherwise they would have gotten you a new monitor to increase your productivity

>>52883058
In fact I don't

>>52881823
He also lived in a house made of cheese.

Fifth down
http://www.fiftythree.org/etherkiller/

>>52880673
It doesn't matter how you "mask" it, now that you've talked to him, you're fucked. That monitor is from the early 2000s as you said, it's lasted this long just fine, and only now breaks right after you ask your boss for a new one?

Good job, retard.

>i refuse to spend any money on my job
grow up kid. where i work people spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on their own tools. youre complaining about a monitor you can probably find for fifty bux.

seriously grow the fuck up

>>52880486

Use clear tape to block the ventilation holes, it should fry itself to death in couple a weeks.

Dude, just pour some water in it

>>52880486
coerce the office tard into breaking it for you

>>52880486
>asking your boss for expensive equipment
>not being nice/sucking up to your IT dept who probably have spares that are an improvement on what you have

good job making your boss put you on a list of people he's more likely to make redundant

source: i am the IT dept

>>52880486
Don't do jack shit. He will suspect you did something to it since you asked him about it.

>punch monitor with fist
>go up to boss and say firmly:
>"im a faggot"

Get an Oculus Rift and use that as your monitor

>>52885783
Pretty much this. Crying about being under a stupid tech illiterate boss in Italy doesn't mean that you're excused for breaking stuff hoping for a better monitor. I'm in an Italian IT company and I know what would eventually happen: they'll give some crappy monitor thatt was almost certainly hidden in their warehouse covered with tons of dust.
Deal with it and buy your monitor.

>>52886485
Fuck you Italian spaghetti... His joke was pretty funny, don't ruin errything you pizza lasagne

>>52880625
That's stupid as fuck, too easy to diagnose.

Frying a controller chip inside should do the trick subtle enough.

Open up the back and just knock off a couple resistors or capacitors off the PCB. No one will even notice the small surface mount ones without getting a schematic out.

>>52886885
OP could also use a hairdryer to try to melt some of the solder through the ventilation holes

OP, just get a standard wall plug for a lamp and hook one up for your USB, VGA and DVI ports. Look up the pinouts so you know what goes to ground.
That stuff is all low voltage, VGA is like 1V and USB is 5V. If you plug in 110-240VAC into it you're sure to break something.

Make sure you splice in an insulated switch so you can plug it in without electrocuting yourself.

>>52887074
That's stupid and dangerous. You'll probably cause every cap touched to explode immediately and might start a fire. Only use a controlled amount of power to do this kind of thing, especially if subtlety is key. GIANT SCORCHES AROUND THE VIDEO CONNECTOR ARE NOT SUBTLE.

>>52887074
>burns down building in the process
>220v
Good job anon, unemployment for everyone!

>>52887208
Then get a 12v wall wart, pussy.

>>52887208
Fire inspector, "We found this cord welded to you monitor, can you 'splainthis?"

>>52880486
Change your job. CRT monitors are genuinely unhealthy for your eyes, so if your boss cheaps out on work safety fuck him.

> assuming it is a CRT

>do something dumb like make your monitor explode and catch fire
>get burned and shrapneled in the process
>sue for pain and suffering
>"i kept telling my boss it was old and unsafe but he said I wasnt important :( "

>>52880486
>>52883908
This OP

I gave a front receptionist dual 1440p ultra sharps and a highend workstation desktop just casue she got me Sprinkles cupcakes for my birthday.
I don't even know how she knew it,super nice old lady. Her boss is still on an old w7 machine with a 1600x900 monitor cause shes a bitch.

>>52889616
Mine is a 1300x600.

How can i archive this thread for the poster?

>job duties include AutoCad
>monitor provided was 1280x1024
>had a severe pressure mark dead center
>scratched to all hell
>literally a $25 monitor from a thrift store would put this thing to shame
>the company i work for profited $20 million last year
madness i tell u

>>52880486
Over clock it until it kabooms

Leave a picture of a penis on your monitor, let the image burn in and tell your boss someone pulled a prank on you.

>>52882246
upboat.

>>52880579
f.lux

>>52880486
>because it's old and small

how old and small is it? picture?

>>52883763
THIS.

>>52890568
true