autist stories thread

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>be 2 days ago
>eating some nachos at the sports bar counter
>just me and a bro drinking a beer and chowing down on dem nachos
>I light up a quick ciggie at the counter
>a moderately hot chick comes to the counter to order a beer
>she turns to me
>"can I have a bite?"
>I dip a chip and proceed to put it near her mouth
>she scoots her head back
>I put it down next to her purse and nod my head to acknowledge
>she then asks the person next to her
>I can hear her clearly this time
>"can I have a light?"
>mfw

>>40526633
jesus anon

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>have crush on friend
>in friend zone
>she makes out with me one time when we are drunk
>after that begins making out with me regularly
>start fingering her
>says we can't fuck because she has boyfriend and would never cheat on him
>fingering her one night
>she moans "anon just fuck me please"
>say haha don't joke about that
>she won't kiss me anymore
>mfw pretending to be ok around her now

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>be 2007
>19 years old
>invited to this bon fire thing, my friend was graduating high school and this was his shin dig
>whateves I'm down
>we take his car and end up driving like 50 miles to the middle of nowhere, deep in the woods
>just a bunch of cars parked everywhere and a huge bon fire, we go out and mingle with the crowd
>bottles everywhere, I go hard
>drink about half a bottle of everclear
>feel myself about to black out
>I stumble my way to my friends car
>I get inside
>sleep
>wake up to a bunch of kids poking me with a stick telling me I got to get out
>it's like 6am
>I'm confused, but my memory is returning
>I stumble out
>only like 4 cars there now
>my friends car isn't there
>my cell phone doesn't have reception
>end up walking back hung over as fuck to the main road (about a 10 mile walk)
>all the while having no shoes, only one sock, and puking along the way
>cop thankfully was driving down the road and picks me up
>takes me back to my house
>called my friends to bitch em out, by they were looking for me for apparently an hour and assumed I left with others

One of the worst mornings of my life lol

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>lifting for 2 years
>pretty good gains
>confident in my body and worked on my social skills
>know I have to feel rejection and expect to fail when approaching girls
>start talking to girls more
>see my target
>ask for her number after some small talk
>"I have a boyfriend"
>reply with "I do too" and walk away

I think I'm getting better at this.

>>40526633
Fucking kek

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>>40526798
you did well, son. Honestly, not such a bad idea to leave a marker of interest, throwing potential bi-sexuality in there or some shit. Women get hung up on shit like that. However, bad situation to do so

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(From friends perspective)

>squatting in rack when a cutie approaches
>"Hi! How many sets do you have left?"
>"Hey, I have 2 sets left, I will let you know when I am done"
He walks up to her
>"ARE YOU DONE?"
>he recovers from the autism and tucks the spaghetti back in his pocket just barely

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> couple months ago
> at clothing store
> buying clothes
> men's on one half, women's on other
> go up to girl in women's
> she's dressed like the employees, pretty casual
> ask question
> "um, I don't work here"
> ".....................fooled me, I guess"
> walk away

>>40526633
Thanks for the laugh

>>40526633
Lel

> at some party
> some girl suddenly catches my arm and takes me in some corner
> we kiss
> she's 6/10
> later on another girl asks me whether it's true
> 'I guess...'
> 'Well anon, you're worth far better.' Winks intensely and then keeps looking in my eyes expecting...
> 'Well, I gotta go'.
> Later on: 'Anon, you should've kissed me'
> 'I-I guess so.. i-i was stupid.'
> she kissed a mate of mine that evening...

>>40526798
I no joke will start using this

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> Be me
> No self-esteem
> Get asked to go to Prom
> Cute but shy violinist 7/10
> Reply "Yeah I guess" because sperg
> Get a text one day saying she's babysitting and wants me to come over
> Literally Jog 3 miles to get there
> Sit and chill, child is in bed
> All of a sudden we are kissing
> Getting pretty heavy now
> "Be my girlfriend"
> "Oh, I just got out a relationship and don't want anything serious"
> Sit there awkwardly for a minute
> Decide to leave
> Jog back home

13 years ago and it still haunts me.

>>40527359
Underaged

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I'll post this one again, I still cringe every once in a while to this day

>be me in freshman year high school
>have a crush on the qt popular girl
>sit with the cool kids every day at lunch, even though I'm too autismo to really talk
>one day walk home with her since it's on the way to my house
>"oh anon you're so nice, it's good to have a friend like you"
>y-you too anonette
>next day
>decide my time has come
>during lunch sitting there trying to think of something to say to get her attention
>cool kids laughing and chatting
>out of nowhere I pipe up
>"h-hey anonette, I bet I can guess your cup size!"
>entire table goes silent and stares at me
>she gives me a look of confusion, disgust and embarrassment rolled into one
>"anon I'm not going to tell you that"
>turn as red as a tomato
>feign getting up to throw my trash away
>go to bathroom and rethink my life
>never talk to them or her again
>still got weird looks from the cool kids in the hallways for the next 3 years

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>>40527569

>>40526660
You and her are shitty people for cheating. Boyfriend is also a cuck.

>>40527453

Damn it will probably haunt me for the next 13 hours

>>40528029
Ehhh not that anon, but idk about that.

The first time I helped someone cheat I didn't even know she had a bf over the couple months that we hooked up. That bitch was crazy though.

Since then I've fucked/ fooled around with a friend of mine that is always in a relationship.

>>40526633
would've been perfectly fine if you had told her about the mistake and laughed.

>>40527359
>winks intensely

Shut the fuck up virgin lmfao

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>at sorority party a few years ago
>standing out on balcony drunk with some girls
>one of the says "anon, i'm gonna need you to sober up for tonight"
>in my drunken confusion i look at har and say "... for what?"
>she just kinda gives me this "are you serious?" look and says "uhh..."
>finish my drink and walk away

then my friend got in a fight with a guy and they kicked us out

>mfw

>>40526539
Crying

>>40526539
At least you have friends and go to parties you fucking normie

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Not sure if related
>be 14
>in love with this incredibly hot girl
>she's in love with me
>she blows me all the time I eat her out
>more like moving my tongue in the alphabet because Google
>goes on for months she's ready to fuck
>I am madly in love and think we can wait because we have all the time in the world
>break up
>no time in the world
>I ruined my chance fucking that fine piece
>mfw I see her on IG looking fine as hell and I think "I could've been her first,"

Ever since then I always take the opportunities.

>>40528293
>>>/r9k/