/efg/ Erotic Fiction General: Space Femdom Edition

>tfw still havent found JG leathers offical releases anywhere online

SEND HELP! i need my daily does of BDSM and bodymodification!

>Yeah my editing is lacking, and the process is basically just me reading the story through a couple of times and seeing if I can spot any typos or clean up the structure a bit. A few sites I post on do offer free editing by volunteers, but I know that it will just aggravate me and they won't work at my pace (not that I'd expect them to).
An odd question, but what exactly would you (or anyone else) be looking for in an editor (were you to think about getting one, that is)? I've sometimes thought about getting into it - since I'm creatively bankrupt and finding the flaws in others' work is drastically easier than in my own - but I'm not sure what sort of standards I'd need to keep or skills I'd need to polish up on to do it well.

>>7214067
In the first place: typo's, grammatical errors, clunky sentences, runaway paragraphs, unclear sections that are hard to read, etc... As an author, it is all too easy to read over those since it's your own text and it makes sense to you.

Beyond that a more in-depth reading looking for open plot points, inconsistencies, contradictions, things that generally don't make sense, repetitions, unnecessary clutter , telling instead of showing and lack of character development; and generally looking for ways to improve both the writing and the story rather than just the story. But that's a lot harder.

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Repost because last thread 404'd:

7000 word update, new content at “Very well, as you were.”

Hostage:
http://pastebin.com/4sPqykcU
New tags:
>maledom, dubcon, oral, kissing, vaginal, large insertion, huge weird Bad Dragon dick, creampie, rough, biting, scratching, choking, hair pulling, size difference, muscle, sweat, multiple orgasms, angry sex, trash talking, happy ending

Ebook: https://www.patreon.com/file?h=7806179&i=783236

Also the commissioner of Grave Goods has kindly agreed to let me postpone work on it for a while due to overwhelming demand.

Next up:
-Unnamed Borealan story that we've been planning out
-Snek/Uninvited 4

>>7214067
In my specific case I would just be looking for someone who could work at my pace, which I fully acknowledge is not a reasonable request to make of someone, especially a volunteer.
I don't think you need any particular skills to edit, besides a competent grasp of like spelling and grammar I suppose, it's just useful to have a second perspective, a second set of eyes that will catch things the author overlooked. Typos, repetition, running sentences, etc.

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Hello /efg/, have a quickie.I was putting some order in my pic folder this week-end and inspiration struck:

“Spirit Beguiler”
http://pastebin.com/NTtCcA76
M.human solo(?) (Shadowrun setting, masturbation, voyeurism.)

The premise is simple: a succubus spirit (they're rather tame in SR compared to the mythological demons) wants a good meal and beguiles a teenager in masturbating for 'her'.

The first few paragraphs refer to an older story of mine since it's the same character, but it's really not necessary to have read that one to understand this one. For those who might be interested, here's the link to the older story: http://pastebin.com/GwdnNA7C Spirit Matchmaker (M. Ork x Spirit & M. Ork x F. Elf, Shadowrun setting, reluctance(?), possession(?), oral, vanilla sex)

Enjoy!

Posted on here for a few times for a few months, I even tried to write my own story but it came out like ass.

Once again I will post this!

Looking for writer for a multiple chapter series it would be in dnd like setting that revolves around a queen conquering other nations through marriages, duels, and war.

Rough tags: dickgirls, dickgirls on male, size difference, urethra insertion, size/attribute theft, vore resulting in imprisonment rather than death, domination themes

Hey, folks. Sorry for the delay in getting anything new out for Crypt Crawlers. Will try and have something up in the next few days - probably either Going Down In Goblin Town (Zix/Azazel public sex) or Breakfast of Sluts (Xulgos/drow barmaid, oral oviduction).

Just two quick queries:
For the Goblin Town one, would folks prefer Azazel's perspective, or Zix's?

Is it actually okay to write anything featuring Senga or Iimen and post it here? Zix and Xulgos have human(ish) faces, but the other two are a gnoll and a kobold respectively, so I'm worried they fall afoul of the "no furries" rule, despite being /tg/ accepted species.

>>7214293
That rule has always only applied to images

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Are there ever many gay requests here? (Traps don't count.) /y/ used to be a writethread but like the board itself, it was awful while it lived and died with no decent content.

I'm trying to figure out places where I can pick up short practice requests between my main personal projects.

>>7214390
A surprisingly large amount, actually.

Sorry to take so long with updating Divine Love, by the way, Real life seems to love nothing more than blindsiding me with random shit every time I try and get going. I'll attempt to crank out a couple more paragraphs later today, though.

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Repost:

Combat jack
Tags: MMM/F, Oral, Group sex, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy, Star Wars
http://pastebin.com/0dP8FKE9

Art is not mine.

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>>7214079
>Hostage
I think the last thing I read of yours was like the eclipse section of Fineprint, which I have no idea when you wrote, or how many things you've written in-between, but I can comfortably say that this feels like a smooth improvement in writing skill - specifically in engaging tone and flow - and that I enjoyed this quite a bit more. So good work on that.

Mostly minor stuff:
Line 13, should be a full stop after 'terms'.
Line 50 could use a little shuffle, that whole chunk is "He had X" for every description.
Line 122, canvas (the cloth) has one 'S'.
Line 143, "He looked some wild panther".
The word 'loins' feels just barely overused, maybe once or twice too many.
Distinct breaks between perspectives and times might be warranted, as it jumps back and forth with no real separation except for a line break.

Line 50 onward starts to really slip back into the 'stuff everything together separated by commas' issue. It works more in your favour as the story moves into the actual smut, as it conveys a somewhat scattered thought process - though it'd work better in that fashion if you cut out some superfluous phrasing - but it's definitely noticeable before that point.

I'd say to try using dashes or semicolons to break up your almost exclusive use of commas to join clauses. Roughly, dashes for segments that are treated as asides, or sparingly to carry a slightly different tone ("There were faces, animals, plants - it was quite tasteful."), semicolons for independent but related clauses (rough example: "She looked down in alarm, but her feet were firmly planted on the ground; it was a gravity device of some kind, easing the crushing hold of the planet.").

Lastly, and not even an issue, but I feel like the patriarch should speak with a little more (affected or otherwise) gravitas, or sound a bit more measured when he isn't fuming. This also extends to other characters often lacking distinct speech (and thought) patterns, but he's a decent example.

>>7214390
I've been trying to get someone to write a story modeled on the Sacred Band of Thebes, who were a hoplite unit of 700 men. They are believed to be made up of homosexual couples, a young warrior paired with an older veteran (with the veteran being on top during sex).
It's a bit student/teacher, a bit brotherly love, a bit comrade in arms, a bit squire/knight and a lot of buttsex.
Stuff like the younger one doing chores, the older one training/drilling him, and then curling up together by the fire or, if they're more adventurous, going at it to pass time while on guard duty.

I would prefer it to be an ancient-esque sort of tale (either historical fiction or ancient-fantasy), but the relationship is the main thing.

Would you be up for something like that?

>>7214390
There's some here and there, though with somebody known to do that stuff around I imagine more requests for that would appear, since that's the way things usually go around here.
Actually, I might have something for you.

And for another thing, do you have any interest in writing bisexual content (like a story with gay and straight sex between three or more characters, with at least two men and a woman), or is it all homo all 24/7? It seems fairly popular around here, but most writers seen turned off by the gay bits

Yo snek/efg, what do you guys think of this setting for my next commission?:

It's XCOM 2 right after the commander beat back the advent in the final mission. The advent wind up doing a sloppy and hasty evac off of earth, leaving behind tons of facilities and confused and panicked aliens who suddenly no longer have their global telepathic network controlling them.

The commission takes place in a situation similar to uninvited, except the guy had a mind controlled snek with him at the time who basically treated him like a possible enemy to be wary of the whole time. Once the mind control breaks, she starts to have mental breakdowns from being overwhelmed with thoughts and decisions she never had to process in her life, and the human she lives with notices and tries his best to help her adjust to her new life. (Advent stationed their snek with him because his psychological profile showed he'd be able to tolerate her without any trouble)

Of course, there were many loyal advent in the area due to the cities proximity to a major advent facility, and so when the rebels take over the area and show up at the protagonists door, the situation goes rather poorly.

Thoughts/comments from anyone?

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>>7214532
Sounds like there could be a lot of cute moments to this.
>viper sneaking into his bed for warmth/familiarity
>viper getting protective of him
>or jealous when interacts with human woman or even another viper

>>7214653


She's going to be very protective of him when she learns she can't trust anyone, not even humans, to not hurt him yeah. (Which of course is another thing her human has to work on, as this particular viper is extremely dangerous for reasons I'll reveal later, and can very easily kill something human sized on accident)

>>7214683
>can very easily kill something human sized on accident
I used to have a pet ball python. He was only around 2 feet. I had to be careful when he was around my neck because he would tighten up sometimes to the point I had prey him off or risk being choked. That was only a 2 foot long snake. What you said is more real than you can imagine. Snakes are one giant muscle.
Also, he escaped one time from his tank and I woke up with him resting on my head and in my hair due to the warmth.

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First 2000 words of the request you guys outlined in the last thread is done.

Worlds Apart:
http://pastebin.com/H03yuTbM
>no tags yet

>>7214390
I've done a few gay scenes now, and I'm getting an increasing number of requests for more, there's definitely an interest in the thread.

>>7214532
Interesting, that's a similar setting to my next one, but you're going in a very different direction with it. Mine is gonna take place after the war when the Elders have been driven off, and all the remaining ADVENT are all directionless and have to integrate into human society.
I'm gonna have the characters go back to the MC's old farmhouse and try to get it operational again, employing vagrant ADVENT to work the equipment and shit. It's gonna have a more peaceful, post-war vibe to it as everyone tries to adjust.

Sounds like you're going for loyalist ADVENT trying to continue the war, in which case you might consider having them kind of ally along racial lines. You might have Mutons forming tribes, Vipers and Kings nesting, feral Chryssalids living in hives and shit like that. Perhaps only creatures like Lancers or Archons would stay loyal to the ADVENT since they're artificial constructs and they wouldn't have anything to fall back on.

>>7214452
Thanks for the review, I'm glad to hear I'm progressing. Yeah I should probably try to improve my punctuation, I tend to write like I speak, which isn't always clean in that aspect. I've written eight stories since Fineprint if you're interested in reading them. All my stuff is here:
http://pastebin.com/dHd9iFCN

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This thread isn't /d/ enough yet.

>>7214453
That sounds a lot more plot heavy and time intensive than I want to commit to, to be honest. Sorry.

>>7214498
All homo all the time. It'd probably be best if I posted a writing sample of some sort. I'll get one hashed out once I finish my current project. I'll be back then.

>>7214725
I don't know if this is intentional, but it's adorably ironic that so far the guy in the story is actually acting more borlean than his friend/future waifu is

>>7214725

Actually, I have it planned so that they split up into 3 groups:

1. Loyalists(middle ground in terms of group size
2. Advent who wanted none of this shit and fucked off to be by themselves(smallest group, are not hostile to anyone unless you intrude their territory and refuse to leave if asked)

3. Advent who are either sympathetic to humans or at least smart enough to know that they can either coexist or die. (Coincidentally, vipers and anything else that primarily patrolled human populated areas are the majority here as they have the most amount of compatibility and experience living with humans)

The setting just so happens to be at the edge of a loyalist controlled area, but otherwise the majority of what's left of advent side with humans and are trying to integrate into society. The protagonist is actually neutral and never wanted any harm to come to either side, but he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Being in a loyalist area and trying to defend a loyalist for any reason is going to get you labeled as one instantly no matter how pure your intentions are.

>>7214725
>>7214833
Speaking of post Elder style Earth with xeno species being left behind/free. Imagine fucking berserkers being confused and wandering around in that setting. Even funnier imagine one of those big girls deciding she likes a certain human for whatever reason.

>>7214851
tags, buddy

Hey, I haven't been on in a while. Why are we using a google doc now? Was there any drama?

>>7213831
http://pastebin.com/TjSmXa4m

>Femdom, lesbian, rape, Star Wars Rebels, droids, face-sitting, sweating, anal, vaginal

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>>7214653
ITT so far

>>7214725

Hmm.. the dialogue is pretty awkward in the beginning, the kids are way too verbose for being 6 year olds. Liking the story so far otherwise.

>>7214912

Although one more nitpick, people generally don't have reputations for knocking teeth out because of those completely ass backwards and destructive zero-tolerance policies, although assuming those don't exist in the future, having a reputation like that still tends to make you the target of all sorts of negative attention.

>>7214743
>That sounds a lot more plot heavy and time intensive than I want to commit to, to be honest. Sorry.
Fair enough.

I wish you luck with whatever does catch your eye.

>>7214919
>having a reputation like that still tends to make you the target of all sorts of negative attention.
I'm with you on that one.
I would suggest to snek that a better description of the positive trait that he's looking for would be being the kind of person who doesn't start trouble and in fact will go out of his way to avoid it, but if pushed will push back fast and hard.
>>7214725
I don't remember if I've said this before, but I really do think that both characters should gain three-four inches in height; six feet really isn't that tall, and 5ft6 seems a bit too little for a character who's gonna grow to eight feet in just a few years

>>7214949

In fairness, borealans have different physiology than us and I don't see a problem explaining that kind of growth through puberty so long as it's made to be believable through supporting details. (Like having voracious appetites through puberty plots of growing pains). Your suggestions for Jamie's behavior are pretty spot on though.

>>7214956

>Plots

*Or lots

>>7214912
Writing kids is notoriously difficult, do you have any suggestions for making it more age-appropriate?

>>7214956
>>7214919
>>7214949
I didn't mean to imply he goes around fighting people, just that he would be willing to do so in order to protect her. Should I rephrase that in some way?

I'm pretty much just fudging the height thing so it fits with the request, though Equatorials give birth to litters of kittens, so it would make sense for them to start small and grow rapidly.

I feel like having Jamie be bizarrely tall would be unrealistic, I don't want him to be some kind of genetic outlier, just "oh that guy's tall for his age". A six foot teenager is something that happens and isn't really unusual.

>>7214972

Tone down how verbose they are, use simpler words and less complex sentences.

And maybe also not give a 6 year old the strength to knock down another kid with a rock thrown at his head. In my country we call that a concussion and probably hospitalization, lol

>>7214978
I dunno rock fights were pretty common where I lived.
Did you go to one of them fancy city boy schools where they had whiteboards and fed you identifiable lunches?

I'll see if I can give the child dialogue another pass though.

>>7214972
Six foot two or three was pretty common when I was in high school, five or so years ago, especially for athletes, which this guy is. Although taller than that was pretty uncommon, about one guy in 60 or thereabouts

>>7214982
>identifiable lunches
Mystery meat was one of the bad days. Good day? Cardboard pizza with a side dish of popcorn. Also I was bullied by a tomboy who had an all-male entourage. One of them threw a rock at my head. This was in the 1st grade.

>>7214997
>Also I was bullied by a tomboy
lucky

>>7214982

Rock fights were common, nailing a kid so hard in the head that he fell to the ground bleeding, was not(because 6 year olds can't really do that)

>>7215026
I've seen kids hospitalized by the old "rocks and ice in snowballs" routine, so it can definitely be done. That said there's nothing to suggest that it was more than a cut. He doesn't get knocked out cold or anything, someone just fastballs him with a rock.

>>7215026
Guy who put another kid in hospital with a rock as a child here, you absolutely can do that.
Beaned him with a hunk of slate at about 20 feet with a straight in the air lob, split his skull open.

>>7215034

I'd buy the "just a cut" bit if it didnt literally knock him down. I imaging the actual result of that would be more like >>7215146

Is there any werewolf/wolfboy stuff around that's NOT noncon/dubcon?
There's tons of the stuff around but none of it that I can find is consensual enough for my liking

>>7215228
this reminds me, does anyone know how that Lara Croft/Werewolf story was coming along?

>>7215237
I know the guy doing it, and last I asked him he said he dropped the idea. Sorry to break it to you, but sometimes that's just how it is.

On the bright side, you now have that much more impetus to try doing it yourself.

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>>7214725
I'm liking this so far. They seem like a cute couple.

My mind is a swirl with opportunities after the time skip. She teases him back. By comparing how big she's gotten.

>>7214972
>A six foot teenager is something that happens and isn't really unusual.
You know, I see on a second reading it literally says she's sixteen and thus both teenagers, but the bit beforehand with the science building and the exobiology class (sounds complicated) said university to me, so I blindly flew past it with my own image in my head.

Or maybe I'm just an illiterate. Probably that.

>>7214996
>Six foot two or three was pretty common when I was in high school, five or so years ago,
What the fuck? Where do you live?

>>7215286
Canada, went to a high school of primarily Ukrainians, Poles and Serbs.
Turns out, without communist malnutrition, slavs get pretty big.
>>7215282
>the exobiology class (sounds complicated)
I had biology as a high school course. Makes sense that in a universe with alien species friendly to humanity, it would be available as at least an elective course, though almost certainly not a mandatory one

>>7214079
So wait is the happy end a guarantee? Cause I can stomach dub-con if there's a happy end. Happy for both parties involved.

>>7214982
Did you live in Pakistan? Throwing rocks with the other children?

>>7215359
Don't be silly, he'd be writing about bacha bazi rather than femdom if that was the case

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Who else likes cute dragons?

>>7214725
That was hot as fuck.

I noticed you used the "legs hanging over the end of the bed" description twice. There's nothing wrong with it but it was jarring.

>>7215228
What sort of scenario would you be looking to see? I've been thinking about trying to write something for a while, and I DO love me some werewolves...

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New story idea:

Orc Barbarian steals the diary of a Bard companion to read aloud when their party teases him for writing letters to his beloved, only to realize upon the last line that the sonnet is dedicated to her.

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>>7214189
Bump with pic

No TF though

>>7215757
I like this idea. I like this idea a lot.

I desire a story about an awkward, amateur prostitute awkwardly trying to sell her goods. Awkwardly.

Bonus points if a more veteran prostitution gets fed up watching her fail and takes her under her wing, with extra extra points for a threesome or group scene.

This is my request.

>>7214390
I have a detailed bisexual request involving Monstergirls, but the guy would be slightly girly.

>>7215757
I want this.

>>7215634
In generic fantasyland, a young druid is innawoods, when she finds an injured wolf, which she patches up, only for the wolf to transform back into a qt wolfboy (I was thinking of the monsterboy style rather than the classic bipedal wolf type). He decides to tag along with her, and after travelling for a while and getting to know each other , they end up having fluffy outdoor sex

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3000 word update, new content at "She seemed pleased as she took his hand"

Worlds Apart:
http://pastebin.com/H03yuTbM
>no tags yet

Revisited the child dialogue again but I'm not 100% on it so I'll probably give it another look later, maybe watch IT or something and try to copy their mannerisms.

>>7215195
I'm happy with the rock scene, I don't think it's something i'll be changing.

>>7215261
Yeah, that's the big draw for me, it's gonna be fun to write.

>>7216246
I'm liking it, way too cute so far

>she's learning human martial arts
I was actually going to suggest that, but you beat me to it.
Also, man, a borlean who knows actual fighting techniques and not just brawling would create some major fucking wreckage in a fight.

>>7216246
Oh shit, I just realized this is a story where the equatorials don't get to be bad guys.

That was something I was hoping would show up.

>>7216261
Yeah I thought a martial art based on body weight would be the best way to explain it. That way she can turn the strength of larger opponents against them in a way that no Borealan is going to be prepared to counter.

>>7216345
They were never the bad guys, Humans just have an irrational fear of rape!

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Alright guys, in the next couple of days I'll have a 5000-6000 word update for Love Coils. I deeply apologize for updates taking so long

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>>7216372
>smol borlean throwing huge dudes around with martial arts to defend her purity
I am completely erect

>>7216372
>They were never the bad guys, Humans just have an irrational fear of rape!

I'm imagining and equatorial trying to use this reasoning in the middle of her court case for getting caught trying to rape a human, and the thought of the judges face after she says that is making me lol pretty hard

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>>7216594

>>7216594
I wonder how many borleans they had to hang before the rest got it through their heads that humans were off-limits.
Probably dozens, now that I think about it

>>7216598

That sums up their reasoning flawlessly

>>7216372
>rape
I know you are jesting. I always liked how tender you make them. Even when they have overpowered a person.

Oh yeah we are on /d/

Makes my pee pee happy I mean.

Is anyone taking writing requests for trap hentai? I have something relatively complex I'd love to see written with a lot of orgasm denial, femdom, and machinefucking.

>>7216602
They probably would do firing squads and not hanging, but as many as it would take for them to figure out to make the new join equatorials watch to deliver the message.

Snekgay, what's your writing process?

Your style is mesmerizing.

>>7216620
What is it that makes it complex?

>>7216631
Character development and having a plot. It would also have gay parts and straight parts, rather than being entirely gay or entirely straight.

>>7216636
I doubt I'll ever have the energy to drive the effort an idea of this sort deserves, but I'd like to see one involving a straight guy falling for a confident, self-assured trap whose one weakness is a girl who dominates him.

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>>7216233
Refer to >>7214743
The only exception I could ever see myself making is for a giantess—a proper giantess, not a very tall lady—because I love giants in general.

>>7216695
In that case, what about a completely gay request?

>>7216402
I look forward to that.

>>7216630
I'm not sure I have one. I don't do any planning of any kind besides having a basic concept before going in, and I don't use any special methods beyond just sitting down and starting to write.
I hear people say they use templates and structures and some people start at the end and do the opening last, and all kinds of things.
I usually just make it up as I go along.

>>7216630
He's the Jack Kerouac of smut. Beats his keyboard like an Irish wife.

>>7216709
As long as it's not traps, twinks, or femboys of any other description, I'm willing to listen.

>>7215757
Sounds cute, would read.

>>7216727
>As long as it's not traps, twinks, or femboys of any other description, I'm willing to listen.
I've got a gay version of a request I posted as the straight version, if you don't mind monsterboys

>>7216727
Sure!

In this setting, Monstergirls and Monsterboys both exist. They're all extremely attractive, can fuck better than any human alive, and they shoot huge, explosive loads of cum. This has been both a boon and a problem for the porn industry. On the one hand, they have an unlimited supply of models. But no humans can last long enough to fuck them. They all cum in the first few seconds. Their solution was to start casting gay pornstars to fuck Monstergirls, and straight ones to fuck Monsterboys. They still cum almost immediately, but it takes them a few more thrusts.

Something about a QT guy fucking a Monsterboy and having a huge, ass-clenching orgasm despite not being gay at all.

i wish there was as much futa erotica as there is for sissy or mind control fetishes

>>7216735
I like this idea. I'll start getting some notes together in the morning. Was there a specific type of monsterboy you had in mind?

>>7215351
Yes, it starts off sketchy but she gets into the swing of things very quickly and everyone walks away happy at the end.
100% guaranteed no upset.

>>7215757
This is a good idea

>>7216818
Ok kool. I'll read it. And if you lied.... I'll kill myself so I can haunt you.

>>7215494
what the fugg is that from?

>>7216818
That was pretty good. Sorry for doubting you, but you are a... snek

>>7216793
Thank you! Any would work.

>>7216907
This, every day I expect one of his stories to end in violent gore rape

What's a smut writer to do when it comes to naming?

I have my character bios written up but I can't name the bastards for the life of me.

>>7217086
Have you considered a name generator?

>>7217087
Any decent ones you would suggest?

Do people here have problems with japanese names being used?

>>7217088
http://fantasynamegenerators.com/ has truckloads of suggestions. And no, I don't thing anyone would have problems with japanese names.

>>7216246
I'm kind of worried how much Liz will change.

>>7217242

Me too. I feel like her personality and behavior might change to the point where she's not the same person anymore

>>7217088
http://www.behindthename.com/random/

>>7217242
>>7217350
I will tread on him if he does that shit

>>7214153
I remember that story, it was a good one. Interesting take on the succubus concept, it should be used more.

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Alrighty folks, I finally have an update for Love Coils!

http://pastebin.com/M1By6hW8 (New stuff at *update)

Tags: [Gentle Femdom, Role Reversal, Light Yandere, Sappy/Romantic, Monster Girl, Lamia/Snake girl]

New tags: [NSFL] Double hand-holding

And once again, I'm sorry for the huge gap between this update and the last. Life has been hell recently

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>>7216242
Seconding.

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2500 word update, new content at “We'll fix this, it'll be ok,”

Worlds Apart:
http://pastebin.com/H03yuTbM

Here's hoping I don't fuck up my first attempt at being sappy.

>>7217568
Nice I'll read this later.

>>7216907
I've only really done one scene I would consider real rape, and that was in Purple Heart, which was a response to people pointing out that not everyone would respond in a positive way to being molested by a giant cat girl (I know, I thought it was crazy too).
Everything else is DubCon, which is generally just a brief period of "hey, what are you doing?" followed by "well this isn't so bad."

>>7217242
>>7217350
>>7217374
You'll have to read and find out, I've not really decided yet how much her stay on Borealis will effect her, and in what ways. I don't have a plan, I just tend to let these things happen organically.
There's supposed to be anxiety though, it'll have a happy end but the road to get there isn't very happy.

>>7217718
you know, I'd just like to point something out, snek.
Growing up on earth, highly immersed in human culture, if you want to have Liz molested by borelans when she's back home, she's gonna react like a human woman would in that situation, and unless you really want to play that kind of trauma out, I'd really recommend against it

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>>7217738
I could traumatize you all and turn this into NTR.
But no, the martial arts stuff is foreshadowing her kicking ass and fending off her suitors.
I did a lot of reading on martial arts, and the consensus seems to be that the reason they're so prevalent in Asia and so uncommon in Europe is because back when these arts were being developed, the lower classes in Asian countries like Japan and China were unlikely to have access to weapons. They had to learn to fight with their hands and so developed fighting styles accordingly. Meanwhile in Europe, everyone and their dog was armed to the fucking teeth, and so styles that incorporated weapons were far more common.
I reason that being naturally armed, Borealans aren't going to need to develop anything remotely resembling body weight martial arts, for example. Those are styles built from the ground up to let a smaller, weaker opponent fight off a larger attacker. If Liz has learned something like Aikido or Jiu-Jitsu, anyone who tries to put the moves on her is going to get fucking destroyed, because they have no experience of anything like that.
They're gonna spy a tasty young Borealan, go in for the kill, then get Judo-slammed before they even understand what's happening.
They're not gonna go after her until she's matured either, as I figure Borealans would need a very strict, ingrained age of consent style instinct to prevent them from just wrecking adolescents before they're old enough to mount a resistance.

>>7217764
>I could traumatize you all and turn this into NTR.
I had a suspicion you were gonna say that.

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>>7217764
>If Liz has learned something like Aikido or Jiu-Jitsu, anyone who tries to put the moves on her is going to get fucking destroyed, because they have no experience of anything like that.
>They're gonna spy a tasty young Borealan, go in for the kill, then get Judo-slammed before they even understand what's happening.
I'm expecting pic related at least once

>>7217764
As long as she picks him up and snus snus him in the special way you write it. It'll be a good end.

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>>7217718
Thanks. Spent a long time on this update, so any feedback would be helpful if you find any

>>7217718

>as coffee and cocoa were too sweet for her.


No one's ever told her coffee doesn't start with sugar in it? Or the 9 bazillion flavors of tea? Or about the tons of other unsweetened/low sweetness drinks like seltzer water?

>>7217718
"Listen to me ramble, I guess at the end of the day"

I'm guessing age here is around late teens, and at least to me this doesn't sound the way a lot of people that age talk. (sounds almost too... formal? I'm not sure of the word I'm looking for here desu)

Then again, people and speech patterns are variable, but that's just my two cents.

>>7217866
Nah, I agree. I think that falls into the previous "Snek writes everything as if they were adults" issue that was identified. Hes aware of it at least

>>7217874
Alright, good that at least the issue has been raised.

>>7217866
>>7217874
>>7217882
That's definitely my most glaring weakness at this point, I did expect trouble with age appropriate dialogue going in, and I'm all ears for any advice on how I can improve it.

My friend suggested I watch "The Breakfast Club" but I don't know how helpful that will be.

It's not just age either, I've had trouble in the past giving characters unique mannerisms and speech patterns in order to differentiate them, that's something I've been trying to work on.

>>7217813
Some minor criticisms:
I feel like you could restructure some of your descriptive phrases here and there, for example "she weakly rose from her seat with anguish" could be rephrased as perhaps "she rose weakly from her seat, anguish etched on her face" or "she seemed anguished, rising weakly from her seat"

There are a couple of lines here and there that come off a bit stilted in that regard, the wording is chosen well, but you just need to structure the sentences a little better, don't be scared to spread it out a bit.
Try reading it aloud to yourself and seeing if the sentence flows the way you want it to be read.

Besides that, you nailed the flashback transition which is really fucking hard to do, I just try to avoid writing them altogether, so good job on that. My prior praise is all still valid, the dialogue is good, the character interactions feel genuine, their relationship as kids totally outshines my attempt in Worlds Apart.

Do you have any advice in that regard, that I might improve my dialogue between the child characters?

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>>7217904
I wish I had some solid advice other than, think back to how you spoke as a kid. dont be afraid jargon, words like "bestest" and have sentences make less grammatical sense
>"can't play sports very good"
instead of
>"can't play sports very well"

>>7217764
All this seems like a good idea, but sadly, I highly doubt she will be able to defend herself (not at first, at least). I mean, it's not very realistic.

Even with knowledge of a martial art, she's a meek girl with 0 experience in a real fight (not even to mention, a fight against a native Borealan). At first, her martial knowledge might seen enough to give her the upper hand, but don't forget the fact that all native Borealans are used to fighting for dominance since their early years. Her aikido is probably worth shit in a real fight.

Hell, with her human mannerisms and 0 knowledge about her native culture, she will have a hard time learning how not to piss everyone she speaks to.

>>7217912
Could be a good excuse to have become more aggressive when she gets older/bigger. She gets a rep for being very aggressive, but when she gets back to her human she becomes all sweet and whatnot. Of course, the dynamic would be different with how she's now a cat amazon.

>>7217910
>bestest
Eh, IMO that comes off as over the top, I don't remember anyone in HS using words like that unless were were intentionally invoking the trope of talking childishly.

>>7217925
Well, I was using my writing as an example. I'm not aware how old they are in snek's story, but in mine they're a pre-teen and straight up kid

>>7217912

Have you ever taken lessons in martial arts at all? Because I assure you, anyone who has taken any has also had sparring practice for actual experience, and the more common forms of martial arts have boatloads of moves for fighting against untrained or careless opponents.

This is also not counting the massive amounts of defensive moves designed to counter common attacks, myriad amount of grabs/holds, limblocks and ways to make your opponent experience more pain the more they try to resist them, and tons of other methods to use your opponent's weight and aggression against them.

Tl;dr you very clearly have no experience with martial arts outside of TV and movies. Liz will absolutely wreck an untrained borealan and make them look like a fool.

>>7217912
I'm confident that if Borealis has no martial arts, which based on the research I did I think is very likely, then she's going to have a very good chance to fight off even larger and stronger attackers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-89dCHHnnYA

Many of these martial arts are designed to use the strength and size of opponents against them, and I believe that if Borealans did have martial arts, it would be similar to knife fighting, favoring the claws almost to the exclusion of everything else.
They would never have encountered this kind of technique before, except perhaps in the UNN, and then they probably wouldn't be stationed on Borealis anyway.

You also have to keep in mind that Borealans will only ever fight for dominance one-on-one, and a single victory is enough to establish dominance, once they're incapacitated they won't get up and keep coming. It's not like a group of them are gonna corner her and keep coming until she's subdued, Borealans just don't do that.

>eight foot male seen Liz
>oh she looks tasty I want a piece of that
>challenges her
>she resists
>fight is on
>Judo throw motherfucker
>oh shit how did I get on the floor, why is my arm broken

>>7217940

Even if they did encounter it in the UNN, they'd only see people using it, not anyone who can teach them anyway. You most definitely can't learn martial arts just by looking, each move from any form has lots of little nuances that can make you go from "flawless execution" to "trip and fall on your face"(or just make your strike hit with only a fraction of the power)

I'd think all Borealans are "trained" fighters in that since they were cubs they would have been fighting even if it was more playful has cubs. Obviously alphas would be better because of them being alphas in the first place. Liz will end up losing quite a few human mannerism over stay on Borealis unless she wants to keep getting into fights. She's also not some master martial artists, so her training can only take so far.

>>7217940
>You also have to keep in mind that Borealans will only ever fight for dominance one-on-one, and a single victory is enough to establish dominance
So, in essence you've really only gotta wim a few fights to be left alone?
That sounds much more reasonable
Combine that with her being essentially a martial arts NEET and she could reasonably ride out the two or so years you had in mind without being raped or having to go native

>>7217974
The only Borealans she'd probably have to worry about were
>an old enough alpha
>one of those Borealan rangers
>a Collation Borealan, especially if they have combat experience
>and a polar, not because of fighting but how they generally go about seducing/dominating others

>>7217940
I've had a question about borleans for a while, but it hasn't seemed relevant until now.
What would the borlean reaction if somebody dies in a dominance fight?
Or, more interestingly, what eould happen if a human killee a borlean who was trying to rape them? The MPs/NCIS would not give half of a fuck, but how would other borleans react?

>>7217986
actually this could be interesting. Also, how would UNN law apply on borealis in regards to this

>>7217986
>>7217993
From what we've seen Borealans have been pretty good about knowing when they're beaten and bowing out. It's also why fucking the humans has become so common among Borealans because a regular dominance fight would cripple or kill a human. Something really fucked up would have to happen for Borealan to kill another in those fights since that's not their goal.

>>7218002
accidents happen

>>7218005
Especially with claws and veins

Is there anywhere I can find some futa stories?

Bonus points for globalized futa.

Speaking of martial arts: Cockpunching.
It wouldn't be something borleans expect or are used to or prepaired for.
Think about it, they want their victims bits in good shape for the postgame, so why hit them? It wouldn't even occur to them. But to one trained in human fighting and with exactly zero interest in post-fight sex, man, it would be horribly effective.

>>7218013
And what if the other Borealan is female? You forget how their whole species is bisexual.

>>7218015
>>7218013
>>7218008
>>7218005
>>7218002
>>7217986
>>7217976
Apparently we don't want smut we want cage fights

>>7218002
This is very astute. I'm flattered people are paying this much attention lol.

>>7217986
>>7217993
It would be very unusual for a Borealan dominance fight to get so heated or so lethal that someone was mortally injured. They're extremely resilient and they can get scarred to fuck without any real health concerns. Like Anon says their goal is to subdue, not to injure or kill.
In the event that some grave accident occurred I assume it would be treated as involuntary manslaughter or something along those lines by the UNN, and just a freak accident by Borealans. The question of intent would be very important.

>>7218017
SEXY cage fights.

>>7218010
Check out .D he loves to write futa.

>>7218013
It would have some pretty significant deterrence value, as well. Like, she's not trying to dominate anyone actively, and *knowing* that at the very least, even if you beat her, you're STILL going to be in rather a lot of pain and decidedly not aroused, and qt worst you're gonna have claw injuries TO YOUR DICK. Even borleans would know that's a bad deal
>>7218015
A high-inpact knee to the labia is also EXTREMELY painful. Smashing the genitals works on both sexes

>>7218026
Oh god, who has that self-defense image of that guy twisting that chick's tits? You know the one.

>>7218021
>The question of intent would be very important.
Which brings us back to the human.
Let's say that a borlean is getting ready to 'challenge' a human, and the human gets their sidearm out in time to make some holes before the borlean can get access to theirs. How would the rest of the pack react? How would *other* packs react?

>>7218017
The point of the cage fighting is so that the smut only occurs between the correct characters

>>7218028
I think the pack would consider that a legit loss, there wouldn't be any reprisals or anything like that. If Moralez had shot Azi in the alley for example, her pack wouldn't have piled on him in revenge, they would have just been like "well, you shouldn't have fucked with him." They have a very fatalistic attitude towards death due to their harsh environment, if you die it's because you're weak or you fucked up.
That said it's gonna take a lot to bring a Borealan down, and unless you put one through their brain or heart they'd probably survive.
A Borealan wouldn't ever draw their weapon in the context of a dominance fight, that would defeat the purpose, as the goal is to determine the strongest and fittest pack member.

>>7217738
>Liz gets a human style makeover at a sleepover
HNGGGGGG

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>>7218010
>>7218021

My ears are burning.

No globalized futa, but the G4E has gentle themes of "infectious" futa.

D's Girlfriends 4Ever Fanfiction: Part 1
http://pastebin.com/qLFH6E2x
>tags: fan-fiction, woman-to-futa transformation, foot jobs, oral, anal, basically every kind futa sex, public nudity, exhibitionism, cock growth, cock measuring, group sex, futa-on-futa, futa-on-futa-on-futa, more futa sex than you can believe

D's Girlfriends 4Ever Fanfiction: Part 2
http://pastebin.com/JG5yzfXc
>tags: fan fiction, all futa, huge cocks, cock growth, cock shrinking, dildos, repeated orgasms, public nudity, exhibitionism, come eating, condom play, more futa sex than you can believe

The Player Witch Augment
http://pastebin.com/bPDQRrM1
>tags: cock growth, huge penis, small penis humiliation, masturbation, exhibitionism, witchcraft, futa, autofellatio, walla walla bing-bang

PWA2: Paranormal Virility
http://pastebin.com/Fnfk6knG
>tags: cock growth, huge penis, small penis humiliation, lots of come, eating come, come in food, witchcraft, exhibitionism, autofellatio

PWA3: Sometimes They Come On Your Back
http://pastebin.com/tE2wtWGg
>tags: cock growth, huge penis, small penis humiliation, oral sex, premature ejaculation, eating come, witchcraft, exhibitionism, female-on-female, female-on-futa, handjob

PWA4: Hocus, Poke Us
http://pastebin.com/tCPmkVgh
>tags: male-on-female, female-on-female, huge cock, small cock humiliation, other humiliation, public nudity, large insertion, anal, magic

PWA5: Miss Peregrine's Homo for Peculiar Adults
http://pastebin.com/034cvbMP
>tags: female-on-female, female-on-futa, futa-on-futa, exhibitionism, fellatio, anal, huge cocks, cock expansion, magic, come to beautiful hawaii

PWA6: Witch Doctor, Strange
http://pastebin.com/KnCeBnLC
>tags: cock growth, futa, huge cocks, hyper cock, humiliation, cock envy, blowjobs, female-on-futa, amputee, come eating, come spitting, do you believe in magic

>>7214153
I'm not familiar with the Shadowrun setting, but I enjoyed that nonetheless. Enjoyable story even without the erotica. Worth a smile or two at the humour. Keep it up.

Perhaps do a sequel where the succubus appears to somebody who is peeping on somebody masturbating or having sex and helps the voyeur 'out'.

im just glad that my biggest kink is worldbuilding
phew

>>7218026
>EXTREMELY painful
u u u u

>>7217718
its cute

>>7218100
sorry to keep bugging you, but how's the thing going?

What is the peak of Borelean science in the setting? Did they reach space travel on their own or were they contacted by some other race?

does anyone have a collection of stories with male penis growth?

I already saw the Witch story which was good but really short with its growth.

>>7218255

http://www.bearchive.com/~chili/

Pretty old, but anyway.

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>>7218013
>>7218026
>MFW

>>7217568
>I'll do anything for you
And as we can clearly see, this is the birth of a yandere. Note the previous isolation of the child and the sudden emotional attachment made, all sure signs of future crazy.

Good writing my friend, and It would be hilarious if cecil woke up and didn't remember her, I know amnesia is a huge trope but so is the childhood friends bit. Would be sickeningly vanilla for her to realize that he doesn't know her but he's falling for her again anyway.

>>7217764
If this becomes NTR The treading on sneks will become very real

>>7217904
My suggestion for trying to write dialogue for younger characters is to try to write their thoughts nonlinear. Alot of children have trouble expressing thoughts in a coherent and linear way. For example its not 12345 it's more like 12k43o5

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>>7218403
Well, thanks for the feedback! Glad your enjoying it, but I've already worked out the rest of the story at this point, with chapter 4 showing some character development from both Amber and Cecil

Plus I'm not fond of Amnesia stuff at all.
Like at all.

Just sent snek a shitload of links to good artists who charge respectable prices and can actually handle drawing 8 foot monster cats. New Borealan art possibly soon, gonna help chip in for some myself if snek is up for it.

Wish me luck guys,

>>7218438
pure homosex runt stuff or we riot
also, we really do need art of Steel Fists Moralez stone cold stunnering a motherfucker through a second-story window

>>7218454


All of the artists I linked are capable, and I think only like 2 out of the list would have a problem with it. But, be nice to snek, that's not his bag and commissioned art sure as hell isnt free.

>>7218458
I was primarily joking aboot.
but QT gay stuff with runt and Schaffer would probably by appreciated by a few here

though, I'd take the current story's folks seven days a week and twice on sunday for a first choice

>>7218438
Mind posting the links here? I was concerting commissioning art for a story I'm writing.

>>7218505

They're all furry artists, you probably don't want that lol

(Disclaimer: I'm the furry, not Snek. He didnt ask me to link these to him or anything, I'm just helping him out)

>>7218509
Nah, I have no problem with furry. As long as it isn't cringe inducing marry-sues some of that shit can be pretty hot.

>>7218513
Also what I'm writing involves Jinko monstergirls, so there's probably some overlap.

>>7218513

Fair warning: you are probably going to see some shit that makes you feel uncomfortable, these artists all crank out paid commissions with means they often get customers who pay for wacky shit you wont really find outside of the furry fandom.

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/wyntersun/

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/tatsumichi/

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/dbd/

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/javkiller/

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/flynx-flink/

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/freebird11/

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/thetiedtigress/


I went for a nice spread of prices and skill levels, and avoided anyone severely undercharging(theyre ripping themselves off and tend to get all of their slots filled in a nanosecond as a result. There are of course tons more artists, this was just the product of 30 minutes of searching. All of these artists should be able to handle anything Borealan related and/or huge bodies in general.

>>7218520
Not sure how hard it'd be but TRUMP could draw a really good Borealan. Hell, he's already drawn similar stuff to already.

>>7218520
Alright, thanks Shiny!

>>7218529

No problem, let me know if any of them have commission terms or pricing that confuses you.

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I take it request doc is dead now, although I put this there anyway.

An ordinary guy and girl have sex like usual, except this time as he orgasms his dick grows spines like a cat's dick, and his cum inside her makes her sprout cat ears and tail. He is overwhelmed with confusion and guilt, but she actually likes being a catgirl and makes him feel better by comforting him and playing a cat for him. (Also his dick spines are not actually hard or sharp enough to hurt.)

They may or may not be back to normal after they sleep (your choice).

>>7218438

I reccomend http://superamiuniverse.tumblr.com

he does plenty of weird shit so he wont shy away from giant catgirls and his art is top of the line.

>>7218520
Is he done using Morpp? If so, thats sad.

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>this thread as of late.

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>>7218771
I want to stress that I've had nothing but positive experiences with Morpp and would get all of my art from him if I could, but with my Patreon subs snowballing I want to try and get a larger volume of art out, and he understandably wouldn't be able to keep up.
I'll still be commissioning him whenever he's available, but I'm going to try to get some more art from other places too in an attempt to secure a more steady supply.

If things keep going the way they are, I should be able to get two or three pieces of art out per month, maybe even short comics or animations.

http://pastebin.com/Te1DXYJY

not mine, but I found it incredibly hot. the site format was awful, so I paste-binned it instead, Author goes by Jack V.

>Reality Manipulation, Futa Transformation, Cock Shrinking, Small Penis Humiliation, Orientation Mind Change, Futa Muscle Growth, Amazon, Male Shrinking, Femdom, Cuntboy Transformation, Trapification, Reluctant Male, Seduction, Humiliation, Solo Futa Body Exploration.

Link for "Hardly Adamantine" (part one) does not work, and I'd really like to read it.

>>7214153
Okay, first paragraph has "bounded" instead of "bonded", I wouldn't normally point out something this minor but I feel like it's more important to the narrative than most here.

Your tenses start to wander a bit in the eighth paragraph (the one that pastebin marks as the eighth anyway), goes from "materialising" to "nab", which is pretty jarring considering they're in the same sentence.

Something that might be purely down to my tastes, but I feel like you spend too much time making the human protagonist out to be a nerd, and one who is dissatisfied with his conditions. Comes off as a slightly ham-fisted attempt to get the audience to identify with him. I'd suggest just toning it down a bit. Have him thinking about the conditions at school *or* at home, not both.

Aside from that, it all looks pretty solid. Good work.

>>7218861
Thanks for pointing those out, it's now corrected.

As for Doran, the whole point is that it is his dissatisfaction with his life that initially gets Astarte's attention. Him being a nerd is just there to explain how he knows how to pirate himself an access to the Matrix.

But thanks for telling me, it seems it doesn't exactly come over as I intended it. Maybe I should have written that part from the succubus' POV as well...

>>7218410
Not disappointed, I mean it's your story and especially if you've already got it planned out it wouldn't make sense to try to change it now. Be you writefag, be you.

>>7218428
Amnesia stuff is pretty awful. It's one of the most overused tropes in anime, i.e. the forgotten childhood friend/promise/power

>>7218787
That's a great movie.

>>7218227
Still slowly. I think I realized it's not really in one of my fetishes, so that's why I'm not going so fast.

I'll keep working on it, but dang, it's like grinding gears.

>>7217904
>It's not just age either, I've had trouble in the past giving characters unique mannerisms and speech patterns in order to differentiate them, that's something I've been trying to work on.
Frankly, the simplest solution would be use of dialect snd accents. Like, what if, say the protagonists in the current story were both from Arkansas? Like, he's got the dialect moreso, and she's got a bit of it, though not quite as much, but it's still very distinctive

Update!
Ricky's New Mommy
http://pastebin.com/ijiZnEiK

Tags: [MxF, Gentle Femdom, Amazon, Mini-Giantess, Lactation]

It's slow right now, but you'll be able to tell when it starts getting good in the future.

>>7218235
Iirc they weren't FTL, and only the Borealan leader was wealthy enough to outright buy a fleet--which really just consists of bargain junkers.

>>7219315
you might want to check the pastebin link you posted

>>7219315
>>7219321

Oh
MY
GOD

Snekguy and Cynical_Writefag are the same person!

>>7219321
>>7219331

Whoops sorry, I was reading that earlier today lmao.
Let me try that again.

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2500 word update, new content at “Make the best of it while we can,”

Worlds Apart:
http://pastebin.com/H03yuTbM
new tags:
>blowjob, oral, virgins, vanilla

>>7218235
They didn't have space travel and they were generally pretty primitive, only the territory that cooperates heavily with the UNN has any kind of ships or modern weapons to speak of.

>>7218454
If all goes well with the new artists I can probably afford some Runt/Zagza stuff.

>>7219346
I leave for a month and snake writes multiple stories by the time I get back. And something gay too! Looking forward to catching up! I wouldn't be opposed to throwing some money at getting more borelean pictures, especially a m/m one.

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>>7219436
That would be swell, I've sent emails to three different artists so we'll see who replies.

I did a couple of gay things actually:

Outpost - Bisexual Edition:
http://pastebin.com/45YK5CnP
Ebook: https://www.patreon.com/file?h=7718390&i=767763

Grave Goods (in progress):
http://pastebin.com/PvhfYmN4

>>7219455


Community funded snek story art commissions?

I could definitely see that being a thing

>>7219346
Can something be too cute and too lewd at the same time? Because this is surely that

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>>7219455
First pass on Beltza - I did say I'd do art if I didn't totally hate Hostage. I might try to make his head a bit more rectangular and cat-like though. I don't draw a lot of dudes and this is valuable practice - but still practice.

(and then forget image, good job)

>>7219530
He looks a bit young, but otherwise pretty good

>>7219346
Aside from the single detail that the guy is described as wearing sweatpants at first and like he's wearing jeans lster, this update is pretty damn good

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>>7219338
>>7219331
>>7219321
I mean think about it. Have you ever seen me and snek in the same room?

>>7219774
We're a split personality, these levels of sap and rape can't coexist in the same mind.

>>7219690
Oh, good catch, I'll fix that.

>>7219530
Nice, that's pretty cool.

I kind of want to write something I can't get off my mind lately, and release it in short one-shots, like individual scenes, as the mood strikes me.

Does anyone like that or is it just annoying to have something short or split up into small bites?

Also should I tripfag so people know what they're getting when I post a new thing, or is that just annoying?

>>7219804
If you're going to consistently post something, put a name. A trip is unnecessary.

>>7219804
That depends on what the one-shots are- do they tell a full story or are they just isolated scenes with no connection to each other? Short bites work best if it's the latter.

And just use a regular name, tripcodes aren't necessary.

>>7219809
>>7219806
Okay, I hate to miss an opportunity to have fun with Tripcode Explorer, but I'll just post a few things and maybe make a name if I keep on.

I was thinking both, I have a lot of short disjointed fantasies but also a few ideas for continuing things.

>>7219785
Have you figured out why she's coming back to earth? If not, I have a suggestion.
It's that the ambassador's replacement is such an utter cockbag that the UEG PNG's him and literally demands the old one back.

Also, consider this: once she gets back. To Catch A Predator, but when they show up, it's the two of them there instead of Chris Hansen

>>7219164
Damn, that shit is good. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.

>>7219804
I have something I'd like to see written that would take that format. So at least one person enjoys writing broken up into pieces rather than fit into a single fic.

>>7219804


Tripcodes are extremely important, fuck the haters.

Do any of the writers here take commissions for non-erotic writing? I have something short like that I'd like to commission.

>>7220024
WHO DO I TRUST

>>7220031
Depends on what it is, I can write decently I think but I'm only decent with certain styles.

>>7220037
The guy without the tripcode, obviously.

Which styles do you mean, might I ask?

>>7220037
>>7220041

Trust the guy with one. The guy without one could be anytime, including the Snek/D Combo person. You can't trust random strangers with no name, can you?

>>7220043
What have you ever done to make me trust you, other than shitpost and beg Snek to do your commissions?

>>7220041
I don't really know, I'm not a professional. I just don't want to dive headfirst into something I get paid for and do it poorly.

(I can't tell who has a tripcode because I'm hypocritically using the anonymize all function on 4chan X, lel

>>7220046

Actually be trustable, unlike random anons who could be anyone and can't be held accountable for what they do or post.

>>7220046
Whole lot of hostility in here.

>>7220051
Too bad the only thing you can be trusted to do is act like an egotistical asshat.

>>7220055


Unlike you of course

>>7220057
has this guy actually contributed anythign of his own or what? seems dumb to use a tripcode when you've done nothing to earn it

going by some of the popular content here, I figure this is the place to ask: I'm curious, what in particular is it that attracts you to tall women in porn? apart from the FemDom aspect, which is it's own fetish

>>7220062

If wearing a trip didn't upset whiny babies like you, I wouldn't do it outside of commissions. But hey, it does! And here we are.

>>7220063

That's hilarious. You can't scroll past a small green line of text without being distracted? Just filter me if your ADHD is that bad, jesus

>>7220067
...or you could do the smart thing and stop making yourself into troll-bait. Even NiceDaemonette wasn't this much of a jackass, he was just retarded.

>>7220063
I thought that was about /v/ Tripfags, who mostly trolled?

>>7220064
I would wager that for most it's the height difference thing. Lots of women enjoy being smaller than their BFs, so why wouldn't a guy want that?
Though personally it's actually about NOT having extreme height difference, because I'm closer to seven feet than six, and a girl my size would be 100% great

Is anyone here open to commissions?

>>7220074

I really don't care what random nameless people think of my dude, it's 4chan. Wearing a trip makes you able to filter my posts, if you're too much of a whiny faggot to read a post without being triggered by a tripcode next to it, filter the tripcode and you'll never see me again. I promise, I wont mind. In fact I can even show you how to do it if you like.

>>7220078
It was, /v/ had a massive amount of tripfags back when that comic was made.

>>7220081
Snek usually is.

>>7220081
>>7220084
it should be said that snek is booked up probably through February, though

>>7220089

Most likely longer since he's going to be doing something for me around then

>>7220089
Well, damn. Is there anyone else who has a slot open?

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>>7213831
OP reminds how I wish this general would latch onto Grieve-tan. She's a pile of fetishes and a vanilla goldmine.

>>7220104
Just to clarify, are you talking about writefags or drawfags?

>>7220132
Writing.

>>7220136
I've never written for money before, but if you're in a hurry and have bitcoin, I might give it a go depending on what it is (no guarantees of course). Since I have no reputation, I could write it first and then you could pay me once you're satisfied with it.
[email protected] if you're interested

>>7220112
This is almost as bad as that warhammer high shit

>>7220137
Thank you for offering, but I don't have any Bitcoin.

>>7220141
almost.

>>7219530
Nice job, have a link to any other art you've done?

Okay, what is the new hotness in here?

(I'm asking opinions. So don't worry about what my own tastes are)

>>7220149
Email me anyways if you want, I might write it just to get myself started if it seems interesting.

>>7220252
Monstergirls is a pretty safe bet!

>>7220252
Monstergirls, tender vanilla and a surprisingly large amount of the above, but gay

>>7220064
I never quite understood why but I enjoy tall women. And short women. And average women. They all have certain perks.

>>7219346
It'd be nice to see her come back and her personality has apperently become much more stereotypical alpha cat like but as soon as she's alone with him she reverts and talks about how draining it it to be Alpha all the time

Side note, if she comes back with attitude similar to the polar queen I'll riot. Queen was ok in her own setting, but I don't think that type of relationship would be all that fitting here.

>>7220309
One idea that just came to me and I love, is that Liz is not actually making any sort of attempt to act like a borlean alpha, she's merely just as contempt-hatred loaded as most humans would be when dealing with a gang of what are objectively(to her) psychotic greasy serial rapists who do what you tell them if you can break arms and can-opener cocks when challenged, and that's figured for being Alpha As Fuck by the folks she whips up on

>>7220031
Yes, what are you after?

For reference, a brief should be expected word count and themes at the very least.

>>7220062
He's commissioned all of the Polar Borealan stories and all of the Polar art.

>>7220089
>>7220093
Realistically I won't be able to take on anything new until likely April.
Once I've finished Worlds Apart I have a 70,000 word Snek 4 commission, then after that I have to finish Grave Goods.
I'm gonna be doing a smattering of smaller stories here and there too just to keep myself sane.

>>7220309
>>7220321
There's also the question of how you guys want me to handle her stay on Borealis.

Personally I think the most effective method is to show it from Jamie's perspective only, and then when she comes back the reader is gonna really feel what he feels when he sees her again and she's so different. It will have a big impact I think.

Otherwise I can show what she goes through on Borealis, and how she handles the challenges, but while a lot of people would no doubt find that interesting, I think that will be less effective.

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>>7220063
>Gaia
It's been a long time.

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>>7220064
Personally I just like contrast.
Where one partner is significantly larger and stronger than another and can overwhelm them.
Nobody wants to fantasize about average sex that was just okay, they want to get absolutely trashed by someone they almost can't handle.

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>>7220239
protle on tumblr

>>7219998
thank you.
I've learned not to overdo the exposition this time.
At this point, I'd spoil the whole plot if I told you what was to come.

>>7220628
Trust your heart! Also, it'd be far to jarring to switch between protagonists.

>>7220628
>There's also the question of how you guys want me to handle her stay on Borealis.
My two cents would be to have it from jamie's perspective, but with flashbacks from hers as she tells him about it

>>7220779
I often have the same problem. I'll end up doing a bunch of world building, when I'm writing original content, and want to share it immediately and start doing info dumps.

Honestly I don't think you've shown too much of your hand. The information supply is steady and at a good amount.

>>7220858
Update!
http://pastebin.com/ijiZnEiK
Tags: [MxF, Gentle Femdom, Amazon, Mini-Giantess, Lactation]

>>7220062
Shush. Don't complain about obnoxious cunts making themselves easier to filter.

>>7220915
Awesome! I'm going to give it a read after I finish editing some of my stories, and hopefully getting one ready for upload.

>>7217855
Or how cocoa is incredibly bitter by itself?

>>7215757
Aww, that's adorable
>Orc Barbarian
So she dive tackles him from across the campfire when the penny drops?

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2000 word update, new content at "He found an opening towards the bottom"

Worlds Apart:
http://pastebin.com/H03yuTbM
New tags:
>vaginal

Sorry I couldn't get the whole scene finished today, I usually try to put in extra work and get sex scenes done in chunks, had to do some IRL stuff.

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>>7221077
I was thinking more she stops reading before her name is written, and plays it off as if the sonnet suddenly ended to the rest of the group,

Then later that night she interrogates at knifepoint while he's in bed why he would go such lengths to mess with her (also allows her to be straddling him when she realizes the sincerity.)

>Finally regained internet access after abruptly having to travel to the other side of the country for my job months ago and there's a bunch of new stories from a bunch of people
yesss
>>7221092
>She wore a blue sundress with yellow duck patterns on it
oh god I came here to fap not to want to hug things
I'll try to have more substantive feedback for stuff soon, but for autism's sake 'patterns' on line 3 is a bit formal/redundant; "with yellow ducks on it" might work better. Also don't know many little kids who would lean against a swingset; they'd be more likely to hang off the frame

>>7214407
Really enjoyed this. The dreamlike inconsistency of the fantasizing sequence worked way better than I would have expected it to.

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>>7221105

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Feeling very uninspired. Went back into the latest entry of Player Witch Augment and wrote a bit in that. I feel bad neglecting the dogman/dragongirl monster thing, but... I need to write SOMETHING I'm excited about to get the gears moving again.

I reread the first entry and realized I named her Katrina "Turnenkov."

Why does anyone let me write? I'm a madman.

>>7221295
>Why does anyone let me write? I'm a madman.
We're all mad here.

Finally got around to updating Divine Love; the first sex scene is all done now. I'll get the second one started by next week. And I gotta thank Anonymouse for helping out with it, if it wasn't for him it would be much less detailed.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/16KevErEaG7glBQ_SQyWLSQQLkiiPKUTT2EleZA51OrE/edit

Tags: Humanxangel, vaginal

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>>7213831
Ashely asks Shephard why she signed up to serve in the Alliance. Shephard responds that she signed up to sleep with exotic alien women.

>>7221323
>femshep
opinion discarded

>>7220639
I've got a giantess fetish. That explains why I dig your stories so well.

>>7220309
>>7220628
I'd like her to change into a more in charge alpha personality. You've already laid the ground work for it. She does how ever have some unique opportunities that you should capitalize on.

Like she knows how humans work. She can be very dominant but she can also be very tender. That's something I've come to really appreciate in your stories.

>>7220321
That's good. I like it.

>>7220639
Excuse you. Average sex happens to be one of my prime fetishes.

>>7221465
In all honesty the "dominant but knows when to be tender" is the Queen's personality. And I would like to see a diffrent personality added to the snekman's list.

>>7221105
I'm liking this idea more and more.
>bard has poems stolen
>they're incredibly bad but still obviously about the orc
>She's holding him at knife point later at night demanding answers
>she knows he can write much better than that, she's heard his singing, knows he's way more skilled than those poems
>turns out he wrote those after he first met her when the adventuring party first gathered
>he wrote the poems and know they were shitty, so he wanted to get better, make her a declaration of love she deserved
>he decided to become a bard so he could make a poem worthy of her

>>7221627
*knew

>>7221092
Is it wrong that I want to see this Bad End hard?
like, shindol-tier bad end: Liz gets carted off to Borealis and manages to fight off suitors until the Patriarch lays an eye on her and decides to take her for his harem because he's a humaboo and a 'human' boraelian girl hits him just right. Patriarch easily crushes her into the dirt and rapes her pregnant a few times; Jamie finds out she's been taken as consort and sees pictures of her soulless eyes and goes revenge mode.
Jamie gets to Borealis but gets just far enough for Liz to see him before one of the guards 'duels' him and rips Jamie's guts out for him to die on the floor, Liz losing the last spark of hope in her life that Jamie might be happy somewhere as she watches him bleed out.

>>7221646
that's awful.
stop posting.

>>7221617
A rough exterior she created to survive Borealis, but melting completely into human affection for Jamie.
It seems like it would be the best but I think it's actually impossible for Snek to untangle being in charge of the sex with being literally on top or in pure femdom mode.

>>7221646


Uh yeah that's pretty bad. You might want to talk to a psychologist.

So how long until a human with a monster cock and augmented power suit puts a boraelian in their place?

Preferably a old cruel hearted noble man.

>>7221952
Some point before the end of time, because that's the absolute last thing Snek would prefer to write about.

>>7221617
Well alright. Pretty fair. I was fairly tired so I probably should of worded it better.

>>7221646
>Is it wrong that I want to see this Bad End hard?
Yes, very
Consider seppuku

>>7220321
I like this. Thirding
>>7221670
This also

Detailed accounts of the sexy catgirl warriors getting bloodily eviscerated on the front lines when.

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>>7222066
>>7221646

>>7222070
It's canon tho

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>>7222066
That's already in Purple Heart.

>>7221646

>>7222075
I only recall Azi getting wounded, the other Borealans weren't described much, or if they were they were male.

Also how do the humans maintain morale when the sexy amazon catgirls that give them boners get mangled into scraps of flesh and shit?

>>7222088
In Purple Heart Lambda squad gets chopped up in close combat by a Betelgeusian warrior then they get fragged by a Marine setting off a grenade belt. There were bits of space cat all over the shop.

I don't think they'd take it any worse than seeing their squadmates get killed.

>>7222092
Don't encourage thig guy snek, or we'll all be responsible when he switches from animals to hookers

>>7220915
Looks pretty good so far. I'm not a fan of lactation, so this chapter didn't do much for me. But I eagerly await the femdom.

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>>7221627
>Orc lets him prove his worth for the night since it's a safe day
>Bard uses songs to improve his strength and stamina to compare to Orc Sex

>Epilogue reveals that the endurance charm boosted his virility, and she's making sure he takes responsibility by catering to her sexual whims
>Dominant Loving Pregnancy Sex

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How do you like your dark elves?
https://www.strawpoll.me/12180745

>>7222274
Other. While I can't actually post the pics because they're all Western, the best color for dark elves is black as the Underdark they call home. Not in the least because it forms a surprisingly appealing contrast with cum.

>>7221092
I'm really digging Liz's personality from a nerdy evo-psych standpoint so far. Cultural values and other learned traits being entirely human, but an instinctual predisposition towards domination and strict pack style politics that surfaces under pressure and ties heavily to things like sexuality.

>>7221670
Not sure it'd need to just be an exterior; people and social animals are pretty good at having parallel social structures for different groups.

The behavioral stuff around animals being domesticized or becoming feral mid-life is really interesting. The non-combative, "friendly" style of human society is broadly a form of neoteny and often parallels interactions among cubs or puppies of wild social animals for a reason. Rescue animals and the relationships between undomesticated animals and their keepers can get very cuddly, even moreso than in some pets, when trust builds to the point that the pressure of wild adulthood gets lifted.

>>7220628
>>7222092
I was just reading The Dogs Of War, of all things, and it came to me that Liz is pretty much an expat on borleas, and having known more than a few of those in my time, it would make a lot of sense for her to try and spend as much time as she possible could with the other earth expats (which presumably would be the embassy staff, their dependents and maybe a handful of reps on quadruple hazard pay from companies that deal with borleans, like the one in Hostage),.
I think that would be a really interesting twist on her stay.
Plus it also gives quite a few possible ways for her to make it home, and maybe even relay a few one-way messages to jamie on earth

>>7222267
Yes please

>>7222274
I'm trying to work out what's going on here, and all I got is "competitive kegel exercises", possibly in service as a courtship display.

>>7222337
Wonder what the effect of her human like personality is going to be on any of the natives whose shit she wrecks, making her their alpha.
>suddenly the first flickers of human weabooism on borealis

>>7222075
Given the sheer mass of words you've dedicated to emphasizing the physical, social, and cultural superiority of borleans I am genuinely surprised you are writing to allow anything human to dominate the perfected alien group you have invented.

Not to mention it would be a disservice to the character of the Patriarch for him to not attempt to possess Liz once he becomes aware of her; and how could he not? She's the child of an influential diplomat who is probably on earth at the patriarch's direct order. Liz easily fits his fetishism by being a 'human' he sees himself as already possessing by his status as the absolute overlord of his race. Actual humans he cannot simply take, but here he has full authority. It would make even more sense to say that the parents were called back BECAUSE the Patriarch decided he wanted to "harvest" his investment.

>>7222365
>Given the sheer mass of words you've dedicated to emphasizing the physical, social, and cultural superiority of borleans
wut?
he's been pretty clear on their physical superiority, but the social and cultural thing is just their own opinion of themselves. if anything, the writing suggests they are culturally weaker; their whole system of parallel structures to get anything that isn't best solved by being STRONK done works, but it's more vulnerable to the overall guy in charge being shit at knowing who to delegate those things to than the human versions of those structures.

>>7222370
Every work written so far had been nothing but a human having it (often literally) ground into his face how superior Borealans are in every way. It's more pronounced with Polars and their use of psycho-sexual manipulation over brute force, but it is present in all works; humanity might have 'real' advantages and those are shown, but it is often discarded in favor of emphasizing how ethereally ""better"" Borealans are 'despite' that.
It makes their deficiencies come off as straw-filled and only existing to make them look better.

I should also take the time to mention that civilian martial arts may help Liz against the general populace, but the moment she runs up against someone with real military experience she will lose extremely hard. Given that she is likely to be interacting mostly with those with off world experience for her own comfort, this scenerio would occur in short order.

I find it funny how the cuck shitposter is trying to ignore how much Borealans like humans sexually due how humans act, our smooth tongues, and how they can't just claw them like they can a Borealan.

>>7222408
>>7222365
Not sure where you've gotten that impression as it isn't something I've tried to convey, in fact I was under the impression I had portrayed Borealans rather negatively, what with their unearned superiority complex and their general inability to adapt to human culture even when they're given clear instructions.
The Polars are also shady as fuck, they act friendly but you can never be sure that they're not playing you to get something they want.

>>7222408
I think that's more in your head than in the writing. The stories tend to show that when there's a borealan alone with a human, their strength means they can push them around, but that doesn't make them "ethereally better" any more than a regular old human bully pushing around someone weaker than them does. Meanwhile outside of those one on one scenarios there's a merchant getting rich selling the patriarch what are basically junkers and humanity is scoring some sweet (albeit unruly) shocktroopers while cheerfully running an ECHELON project on their planet in exchange for not much more than pandering to the ego of the people in charge. We're in the comfortable position of being able to bomb them into oblivion with a minor task force if we really wanted to, while their warriors are so set in their ways it takes a good deal of effort to get them to not be retarded about what makes a useful firearm.

>>7222423
Don't forget how if the temp. drops to a certain point they pretty much go into hibernation.

>>7222421
>The Polars are also shady as fuck, they act friendly but you can never be sure that they're not playing you to get something they want.
I suppose the strong pack instincts at least mean they're a bit more inclined to manipulate you in ways they see as being beneficial to the group, yourself included.

>>7222421
Your problem is that despite what your intentions may be, the text had always been from the point of view of someone utterly seduced to the side of the Borealans by the end of the story.
Your own characters disagree with you.

>>7222423
Continuing here, the reason I called them "ethereally better" is because all those flaws have the narrative weight of a feather. They're the myriad 'flaws' of an 'underdog' snowflake race meant solely to be ignored and give them false depth. It also makes the constant state of humans being broken into compliance to them even worse narratively, since it further reinforced how meaningless the "flaws" are.

Take all of this and the general psycho-sexual-warrior theme, and Borealans are really nothing more than Sergals with a fresh coat of paint.

>>7222442
and sergals are just reskinned gnolls

>>7222421
Plus this story is taking place some y9after the others, no? I imagine it would actually be quite likely that the patriarch had been supplanted by a new one in that time

>>7222442
>all those flaws have the narrative weight of a feather
given that the stories are frequently about two people eventually gettin' jiggy wid it, the benefit of the spess cats being musclebeasts who can pin the human down is going to be more immediately relevant than deficiencies in their ability as a culture to adapt.

A borealan getting rekt by a human over tactics forcing them to confront the fact that brute force means very little outside of showcase fights could be interesting, though.

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>>7222442
I disagree, there was no positive outcome for Azi and Moralez in Purple Heart, neither she nor her actions were portrayed in a positive light. That story was told from the perspective of someone who didn't find their bullshit amusing or endearing, and it ended with him beating the ego out of her.

Similarly in Splashdown Zhari was completely out of line, and all her internal dialogue was basically just mental gymnastics trying to justify her actions, even though she knew it was wrong.

That said this is porn and I designed them to be sexy first and foremost, any attempts to create a believable, three-dimensional race comes long after making them sexy femdom monsters.

I feel like I've done a fair job of making them flawed though, they're prideful and stubborn and they're getting the shaft in their relationship with the UNN.
>>7222423
Is a very accurate rundown of their situation.

Also I don't know what a sergal is.

>>7222462
SNEK
WHEN IS MORE SNEK

Also are you going to, or have you written, any sci-fi human supersoldiers in any of your stories? Talking about something akin to Halo's Spartans.

>>7222462
How long *is* this one taking place after the others, anyways? The first thing of yours I read was Purple Heart because I didn't care for any of the earlier stuff, so I'm not an expert on the setting

>>7222471
I'm doing a 70,000 word Snek/Uninvited 4 when I'm done with Worlds Apart. Should probably be able to get started on that before February.

Nah I've never really liked that trope very much, or at least I feel like it's overdone now. I prefer to have other races fill those niches rather than augmenting humans.

>>7222451
>>7222474
I've not decided yet, I've just swept it under the rug for now lol.
Having it take place a significant amount of time in the future would probably mean I'd have to come up with a conclusion for the war, and there's a lot I still want to do with that yet. I've not even touched on Betelgeusians really, I was planning on having stories about the queens and POWs eventually and shit like that.
I should probably make like a timeline or something and see where it best fits.

>>7221320
Fuck yeah, angel stuff is depressingly rare.

>Even the taste of her body had something unearthly about it; the taste of her skin had a sort of pleasant mildness about it. By comparison, the earthy sweetness of her nipples seemed to both amplify and complement the flavor, making it all the more appealing.
I wonder if my first thought here being whether heavenly breasts lactate milk and honey means I'm going to hell.
Also as a minor quibble, the second "the taste of" immediately after the semicolon is a little redundant and disrupts the flow a bit.

>>7222365
>Fuck yeah, angel stuff is depressingly rare.
Which is exactly why I came up with the idea; succubi are appealing, but there's a fuckton of material for them and I figured the other side needed a chance to shine, as it were.

>I wonder if my first thought here being whether heavenly breasts lactate milk and honey means I'm going to hell.

No, it just means that my attempt at subtlety actually worked for a change. And thanks for picking up that redundancy there, it should be fixed now.

>>7222479
A Superhuman soldier might just be a soldier with faster reactions and retardedly accurate aiming.

>>7222479
I mean, the question is really how long the races had been in contact by your fist set of stories, and it didn't seem like long

>>7222486
>No, it just means that my attempt at subtlety actually worked for a change
kek. you could probably leave in the "her skin" since that's not a repetition, and directly identifying the body parts helps with the viscerality

>you can tell when she's been working out because the apartment reeks of incense
great. now my mind is wandering about elysian body fluids in general

>>7222479
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCMNWAJiz5Y

>>7222497
>kek. you could probably leave in the "her skin" since that's not a repetition, and directly identifying the body parts helps with the viscerality

Right, my bad

>great. now my mind is wandering about elysian body fluids in general

And I didn't even plan on a cunnilingus scene. Note to self: If I do a sequel for this, come up with ideas as to what angelic vaginal juices taste like.

>>7222531
>And I didn't even plan on a cunnilingus scene.
really? I figured you would have, at least as part of the vaginal one

>>7222536
Not really, I wanted to spend time working on the foreplay and working up to it instead. I've noticed that was always the part of the smut I was weakest at since I'm oblivious to some of the details at times.

That said, if the urge to write Divine Love 2 ever hits me there's definitely going to be cunnilingus.

>>7222531
>come up with ideas as to what angelic vaginal juices taste like
Surprisingly neutral and nondescript; it mostly just changes the texture you feel in your mouth, though you can feel the heat pulsing from her loins. However, you do feel a profound sense of care and affection suffusing you as you taste it, building to an overwhelming crescendo as she climaxes. You are literally drinking her love for you.

>>7222541
I couldn't have possibly put it better myself, anon. In fact, now I've got half a mind to add that scene right this second because of you. Thanks for the inspiration!