Which one of you guys was it?

For some reason I'm just picturing Randy from South Park like he was in that one scene.

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>>94392045
>make a movie for autists
>surprised they jerk off in public because lack of self-awareness
Can't make this shit up.

>>94392045
Probably someone from >>>/b/

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>>94392045
Damn it, Paul not again...

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>>94392045
It was me guys, sorry.

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>>94392045
Guilty as charged.

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damn it Tom

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>>94392045

seeing the autism that Emojis brings out from all who hate and love them, doubt this is a coincidence and wouldn't be surprised this was purely intentional just for the sake of this movie.

Work at a theater and dreading the day when that damn MLP movie releases along with most my coworkers

A Lakewood kike did it. Surprise surprise he got a slap on the wrist.

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What did (((they))) mean by this?

At least the movie made someone happy.

>>94392692
>it's not edited
what the fuck
http://nypost.com/2017/08/03/cops-hunt-emoji-movie-masturbator/

>Emoji movie is so bad that it's illegal to be pleasured in its presence

>>94392692

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

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>>94392692
>>94392763

>>94392045
I"M SPARTACUS!!

Was it because of the red wagon?

>>94392692

Hey Rabbi

>>94392651
>MLP movie

You might just want to put plastic over all the theater chairs now, anon. Easier than bleaching everything afterwards.

>>94392692
Really spins my dreidel.

>>94392651
>working at kohls
>someone mentions over the walkie talkies that there was a strange dude spotted in the ladies lingerie changing rooms
>5 minutes later the women that work in the department are asking if some guy can clean up a mess for them
>proceed to turn off walkie

>>94392692
He was upset that they didn't use the star of David emoji

>>94392438
>tmw your name is Tom and you look like this generic little bastard
delet this, nobody must know

>>94392045
Shit, if i had to watch this i'd jack off too.

>>94392045
>People thinking he was masturbating to Emojis
He was probably masturbating in a mostly empty theater for the thrill of it.

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>>94392045
>>94392692
Clearly one Holocaust wasn't enough

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>New Jersey
The answer is obvious

I know this fat deviant who dresses up as a pig. He went to go see the warcraft movie pant-less.

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>>94392045
>>94392692
>>94392763
Oy vey

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>>94393547
>deepwater jew

Every fucking time.

>>94392438
Ben Tennyson you cannot hide under a false name. I know it's you.

>>94392438
Did this one ever gets scans, or was only the girl version dumped?

>>94392045
I won't be surprised if Jacksfilms comments on this.

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>>94394294
he did

>>94394294
what's with jacksfilms obsession with this movir

>>94394545
It started as a meme, but then the people doing the marketing for the movie found him, didn't understand/care it was a joke, and tried to use him to promote it. He was in too deep to get off the ride and just kept going.

>>94394545
Irony, the same reason people started talking about Cory in the House again after so long.

>>94392045
it was me

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>>94392359
Worst moonflower to boot. Jesus Christ.

I'm remembering the stories of women attending the 50 shades of grey movie when I see that pic

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>>94392045
Now do you know why A1 will replace Sony Pictures Animation?

>>94392045
That's some real objective journalism there, Tamar.

>>94394943
what

>>94392692
Really lights my menorah

>>94394139
do you have a link to where the girl version was dumped?

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>>94394545
>>94394734
>>94394761

He shitposted so much that his comments became reality

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>>94392438
Fixed.

>>94392045
>there is no emoji for that.
I envy the naive and unwise on the passages of Internet, thus they never feel the pains and pleasures of the void.

>>94395126
Sony bough Funi just so that A1 can get better treatment after one of it's producers died from over working.

https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2017-07-31/sony-pictures-tv-to-acquire-majority-stake-in-funimation/.119575

>>94392692
Rabbi whacha you doing?

>>94395491
It was that fucking cat after all

>>94395622
And how.

>>94395445
holy shit

>>94393444
>ok ok, another funny edit...
>it's real
WHAT

>>94395491
what's the matter with that craaaazyy cat?

>>94395700
He hates meeces to pieces.

>>94392045
Considering this film's marketing seems to depend on bad publicity, I kinda think this might even be a publicity stunt. They've been really pushing for the "so bad it's good" audience and this just adds fuel to the fire. I don't think they even seem to have bribed any critics for fake good reviews.

>>94393313
I hope this ends up in the next plinkett review

>>94392651
NO EASY TASK TO CLEAR THE GROUND
PLANT OUR TINY SEEDS

>>94392651
>along with most my coworkers
how much do they know?

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Poor guy, he was obviously just trying to jack off in an empty theatre.

>>94395384
>>94394139
http://ikefoundationforautism.org/e-library/What's%20Happening%20to%20Ellie%20-%20A%20Book%20About%20Puberty%20for%20Girls%20and%20Young%20Women%20with%20Autism%20and%20Related%20Conditions%20(2015).pdf

>>94396126
As for Tom...
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2f2mzr

>>94395491
I bet he's jackin it to thoughts of using Jerry as a Cocksleeve.

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>>94392692
>jew gets so turned on by all the product placement shekels that he has to wank one out

>>94396242
No just food as cats eat mice.
Tom is straight.

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>>94396126
ELLIE NO

>>94396301
THE ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN!

>>94396126
doesn't this count as child pornography, the type you could get arrested for being in possession of

>>94396338
No.

>>94396346
There are absolutely countries where illustrated drawings of children engaging in sexual acts comes under child pornography

>>94396126
>Putting tissues in the bin instead of just flushing them

I'll never understand what they were thinking.

>>94396264
>not wanting to fuck jerry
Are you gay?

>>94396365
tissues can clog up the pipes because they're designed to be water resistant

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>>94396126
I bet she does. Kinky little slut.

>>94396358
And the US is not one of them.

>>94396365
not all water bills can handle autism that takes things literally, some auto bitches would have flushed 10 times a day

>>94395491
>meeces to pieces

Wrong cat VS mouse cartoon, faggot.

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>>94396383
Jerry is a boy mouse and I'm not a furry.
>>94396301
Fixed.

>>94396394
we aren't all american anon

>>94396405
Same men however, it's part of it's gag building.

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>>94396389
Even so, how many tissues are you flushing to fuck up your plumbing like that?

>>94396401
nigga what

>>94396447
And I'm sorry for you people who have to suffer in a country which has anti-loli/shota laws.

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>>94392692
S-shut it down, a-antisemites!

>>94395445

Something about the way this letter is written makes me think they were intentionally taking the piss.

Like either literally everyone involved knew this movie was a soulless cash-in, or this is a particularly subtle attempt at viral marketing.

>>94395491

IF I SEE THAT AUTIST ONE MORE TIME...

>>94396470
ten tissues a day would fuck up the plumbing zeppelli

and not every one has free water

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>>94396126
>when you just want to watch a a movie on TV after a long day at work but you just had to listen to your retarded daughter flicking the bean and moaning like a dying sea lion for the last five minutes even after you turned up the volume to drown out the sound

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>>94396392
>Oh boy! I can't wait to get home and jack it on the old man's tighty-whiteys!

>Their 'movie so bad people will watch it ironically' ploy backfired and now they're trying to stir up shit like this to get attention.

>>94395445
Oh that is ABSOLUTELY taking the piss

>since you're already going to see it twice, why not come to the premiere as well? :^)

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>>94396301
>>94396644
This needs to be fuckin' storytimed.

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>his theater doesn't have a designated masturbation cubicle next to the fire exit

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>>94396705
No but thers another books that does need a storytime.

At least someone enjoyed themselves while watching this movie.

>>94396779
Mine does but I never use it because:
a) There's no falcon perch and
b) you have to ask one of the theater snipers to escort you and it's too awkward to ask

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>>94396779
What?

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>>94396779
>>94396888
>Local Kinoplex recently sent out a letter of apology saying that they can no longer serve crab legs nor have them on the premises
How the fuck can I enjoy my flicks now?

>>94396976
Order a hollow lifelike falcon puppet. That way you can get around the no singles policy and sneak sweet, sweet crab meat inside without the snipers being any the wiser.

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>>94392692

>>94395491
you should use the that fucking cat macro

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>>94397116

>>94396126
that was even more awful than i thought it would be

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>>94396472
feel my pain you fuck. i just want my SS

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>>94394884
>Worst moonflower
Wrong

>>94397163
i'd fuck it

>>94392692
Jesus didn't die for this!

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>>94397163

>tfw he turned himself in
Baww

>>94392692
I don't see what the big deal is. Jewish people can be criminals, too.

Can we talk about just how dumb this is? This guy could have jacked off to Emoji Movie porn online, but he did at a theater where they likely would have been at least one kid. This guy's gonna be charged as a sex offender now, just so he could jack off to The Emoji Movie.

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>>94397163

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>>94403490
>where they likely would have been at least one kid.

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>>94396301
>This is Ellie.
>She likes dancing, making pizza, and touching herself in public.

>>94396301
Anybody have the Star vs. edit?

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>>94403490

Please silence your cell phones now. Please not leave trash on the floor. Remember to be courteous and to not splooge on the back of the head of the person in front of you. Tissues and lotion are available in the lobby. Thanks for cumming, and enjoy the movie!

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>>94392692

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>>94396565
>subtle

>>94404040
Fuck you boco don't tell me how to jack off during my emoji movie experience

Shadman at it again

>>94396389
Can't you just use toilet paper if that's the case? Just don't be cheap and get the good stuff that's nice and soft.

>>94404101
>>94396365
Are you guys assuming she'll be masturbating in the bathroom every time or do you expect her to put her clothes back on while she's still gross, dirty her underwear in the process, walk across her house, and go into the bathroom just to freshen up after a schlick? She's probably wiping off with tissues and tossing them in the bin in her room right after she's done before dressing and then going to wash her hands.

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>>94392692
>Oy Gevalt, the circumcision gets me all worked when I see the product placement films
>I nearly came in my slacks from watching the Lego movie, mashugana it was

>>94396301
http://ikefoundationforautism.org/e-library/What%27s%20Happening%20to%20Ellie%20-%20A%20Book%20About%20Puberty%20for%20Girls%20and%20Young%20Women%20with%20Autism%20and%20Related%20Conditions%20(2015).pdf

>>94405510
>white autistic grill
>next page boy example
>a dindu nuffins

really accelerates the neurons

>>94393547
>rare deepwater jew

Where do I find those?

>>94393547
Patton Oswalt really went off the deep end

>>94405198
Is grabbing a something ahead of time some sort of impossible task in your mind? Do you think autistic women have the urge to just start schlicking so furiously the moment they're in their room that they can't be bothered to get their dildo?

>>94392045

>Masterbating while wearing a Jew hat.
Pffft, if it was me I'd dress my body up in blackface and proceed to run around the theater naked saying "fuck" repeatedly.

>>94392045
Emoji TF made this happen, didn't it?

>>94405583
Well, I mean, if Ellie is having to learn in the first place not to touch herself right out in the street as soon as she starts to feel the tingle, then, yes.

>>94392045
I still can't believe that happened in the theater I go to in my own town.

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>>94393547
>a rare deepwater jew

Impressive.

>>94405587
>not screaming "MAMMY"

>>94405546
Atlantis

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>>94392045
When this guy is caught, he will be called a pedophile and a sexual predator. He will then go to prison where he will be killed by his inmates all just for touching his weenie.

>>94393547
>beating up a race of ubet manlets is impressive
>deepwater Jew

>>94394895
Why, what happened?

>>94406442
someone left a cucumber in the theater that they used to masturbate

>>94399713
>can be
well you're close

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>>94392289
>IM PLAYING WITH MY EMOPEEWEE
>HAHA

>>94406260
Well I mean. It's true he didn't directly assault anyone, but it's still possible he might be a pedophile. He may have been masturbating because of the presence of children in the theater, it's hard to say.

>>94396242
Nah jerry has a magnum dong that he fucks r63 tom with

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>>94406260
He already turned himself in, was charged with lewdness, and went home.

http://www.app.com/story/news/crime/jersey-mayhem/2017/08/03/howell-cops-seek-emoji-movie-lewdness-suspect/535796001/

>>94396705
It was a few months ago and it was fantastic.

>>94406818
Damn, I wish I was here.

>>94395491
IF I SEE THAT FUCKING CAT FUCKING ONE MORE TIME!

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>>94406699
here ya go boys

>>94392045
And this is why theaters are adopting unaccompanied male rules.

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>>94396126
>i wish she would keep it down with her moaning

>>94392692
WTF is a yarmulke?

>>94407071
Jewish skull cap

>>94406897
>long beard
Fuckin seriously? That's barely past stubble.

>>94407071
Pronounced ya-ma-kha

>>94407889
Maybe he was wearing a false beard for his jew costume.

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>>94392692

>>94393444
Mr. Plinkett?

>>94406897
Is that moviebob?

Why couldn't the guy have done this last year with Fembusters?

>>94408693
That would only increase ticket sales for that movie.

>>94404080
It's like a triple agent of viral marketing.

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>>94406876
I'm considering a storytime with just the pics (except for the CAN'T SHOW THAT ON A CHRISTIAN IMAGEBOARD stuff), and some 'improved' text. That would take a while, though.

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>SOON

>>94392651
Hey. Fellow theater employee here. We're dreading it too.

which country/chain? i work at a cineplex in ontario, canada.

>>94408693
You try jerking off to Melissa McCarthy and Leslie Jones

>>94407973
Why doesn't the spelling look anything like that?

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>>94406897

This is a great thread.

>>94410923
It's pronounced "yar-mul-ke" like it's spelled, with the "r" and "l" somewhat muted making "yah-muh-keh" when spoken quickly.

>>94396126
Just what the hell did I even read and why do I want to fuck this Ellie girl?

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>>94397247
What if she's just washing her bike?

>>94392692
JAKE THE PPG WRITER?

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>>94395491

>>94392045
Ok, now I´m hyped for this movie.

>>94408912
i think i know a place you can storytime it without the hassle

>>94392692
Well damn, /pol/ was right again.

Fucking Jailbreakfags

>>94392692
>what the fuck is a yarmulke
>google
>oh no... /pol/ was right again

>>94396301
her black friend looks more aroused than shocked.

>>94411839
That only works on a motorcycle.

Larger version of this please.

>>94396425
Well done.

>>94392438
Is it me or would this be more explicit than the girl one? For ellie they could just draw a picture of her with her hand over her giney, but for a guy they'd have to illustrate grabbing the shaft

>>94392692
Well, at least he's not wearing a MAGA cap

>>94418554
Thats the wrong version, real version here >>94395491

>>94392045
>having a wank in public makes you a sicko
A weirdo, sure. A wanker, quite literally. But it's not 'sick', it's just daft as.

>>94396126
Fuck, that turned me on a little.

>>94419427
having a wank in public isn't the issue
having a wank directly in the eyesight of other people, including children, is

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>not popping a boner over Smiler

>>94419600
>having a wank in public isn't the issue

Dammit, anon, what did we just talk about?

>>94396301

>>94419649
in public can mean a toilet or changeroom, not the middle of a shopping mall

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twas the shad

>>94419723
>jerking off in a public toilet

That's all kinds of unsanitary.

>>94419538
Anon, whatever you're thinking, it's not okay to trick autistic girls into sex, no matter how easy it would be to trick them into it and get away with.

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>>94419604
>wanting to fuck a nerd with braces
get better taste

>>94419604
Any domination pics of her?

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>>94392045

>kid's flick
>flick

>>94419834
you have any ideas?

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Did anything come of that TJ Miller Twitter breakdown?

>>94419816
Silly anon, you don't trick autistic girls. You just rape them and run away.
Autistic puss is not worth the hassle.

>>94392235
>Can't make this shit up.

I think this is actually made up.

[Spoiler]I just go wooshed didn't I [/spoiler]

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Reminder

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2RiV8kALwQ

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>>94420100
Here's another recent review, nothing has changed with him in the past 5-7 years

>>94396126
Okay, now where do the hedgehogs come in?

>>94405943
MAMMY

MAMMY I'M COMING

>>94419880
>tj twitter breakdown
elaborate

>>94420397
he threatened suicide because of emoji movie backlash

Now that we're going off about the emoji movie and masturbating, we got any porn of Meh's mom or the Just Dance girl?Not even any giantess vore for the JD girl?

>>94396365
>not just eating it instead

Makes your life so much easier

>>94420145
I do feel that movie is over rated.
It and Ferris Bueller are memorable movies sure, but they both get held up as these perfect portraits of (white middle class) teen angst.

>>94420438
Fuckin jesus. I listened to him on either Pete Holmes or Hardwick's podcast a couple weeks ago and he sounded legitimately proud of this movie because it would "have an audience" somewhere
He was like "This movie is for people like my aunt and uncle in the middle of america who won't see my R-rated movies, and I hope they really love this"

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>worries fans with suicidal tweets
>worries fans
>fans

making shit like tj miller "fans" up, what will they think of next

So if Jailbreak is the heroine, does that mean that Sony supports piracy?

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>>94404004

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>>94420745
>they called the different icon for the piracy app a skin
I'm not even /g/ but holy hell was I annoyed by both how fucking dumb people were in the film and by the butchering of tech that made absolutely no sense.

>>94420834
That fits too fucking well

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>>94392045

>>94420834
>I'm not a skimmer! I'm a dipper!

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>>94419734

>>94392045
>fapping to a terrible emoji movie
Pretty Next Level desu
The better question is why were there anyone there to catch him?

>>94399713
True, but the rule with Jewish criminals is that any non-financial crime will be fucking hilarious

>>94407071
Half a hat. Saves money.

>>94420967
>>94420999
anon you are very close to reaching max arousal capacity

>>94396245
>alright Chaim time to watch a movie
>oh man think of all the money that got made in that "let's all go to the lobby ad"
>boner intensifies
>Oy vey that's a fucking sexy eggplant, and it's telling everyone about the new Iphone GEVALT
>oh gawd the poop emoji has a white girlfriend SUCH DIVERSITY
>I'm going mshuge ovvah here

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>>94419834
well, you didn't give me any ideas but I still drew her because I hate myself

>>94396301
Why is this not a banner yet?

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>>94394943
>>94395540

I didn't think things could get worse than dealing with Sony Pictures Animation, but I do now.

>>94393547
Rare Deepwater Jew here, AMA.

>>94393547
Source:
https://www.somethingawful.com/news/fur-trapper-promise/

>>94422113
They were having pay issues and one of their producers died from over working, Sony wants to pull another PS4 and this was it.

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>>94421291

>>94422139

>Sony wants to pull another PS4 and this was it.
I don't follow. You mean A1 was their attempt to become the dominant anime producer in the world?

I just think A1 is a bad studio.

>>94422114
why couldnt you drop my quest item for my bard helmet 18 years ago?

Of all the damned movies.

>>94396358
Yeah, like Canada, the UK, and Australia.

>>94422360

kek

>>94422278
And New Zealand, where Puni Puni Poemy was refused classification because it "promoted the exploitation of children or young persons for sexual purposes" or some bullshit like that.

>>94422233
No, Sony just want to fix A1's issues.

>>94392651
>MLP movie
kids and parents will be so freaked out when they see the theatre is full of fat bearded adults

>Be me
"Yes I'd like a ticket to the... My Little Pony movie."
"No, this is for my sister"

>>94393479
Why is this man half fish?

>>94406897

>MovieBob

I can't really say that i'm shocked

>>94411080
Pretty sure that he wasnt fapping at the movie, but at the audience.

>>94411080

>Alone in the back of the theater
>Meaning that the best spot to see the screen was someway empty

This movies never falls into looking pathetic

>>94422516
>"Yes I'd like a ticket to the... My Little Pony movie."
>"No, this is for my sister"
Do you know where you are?

So that's how we ruin this movie? By all going to our public theatres and masturbating?

>>94405378
glad to see someone using the clowns face from that comic. There's quite a few other reaction worthy ones.

>>94422278
so basically every non-US first world country
really makes you think

>>94422516
>not buying the ticket online and having it scanned at the self-serve online booking express line

>>94422732

Not going the /v/ way

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>>94422732
>Everyone has a smartphone these days
>Nobody in the online ticket lane
>everyone standing in the regular lane on their smartphones

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>>94396301

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>>94422524

>he doesn't have the Innsmouth look

Get a load of this untainted pure human faggot over here. Gonna be lolling my fins off when I'm immortal in Y'ha Nthlei and you're stuck up on dry land.

>>94420145
The breakfast club is shit though

Any 23 of the Just Dance girl yet? Damn near whipped it out in the theater for that.

>>94392651
/mlp/ here

Get extra mops

>>94422939
>23

*34

>>94419600
I'm not saying it's not disgusting. A sicko hurts people. A killer, a molester, those people are sick. This guy just doesn't give a fuck. I think he's a disgusting idiot but he's not sick. He just makes everyone around him sick.

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>>94421508
drew something else

>>94423486
>A sicko hurts people
Where did you get that from? Sicko is about anyone who does anything disgusting or fucked up (hence sick ie unclean)

>>94411080
Kim is a red pilled babe.

>>94410923
Because other languages look weird to people who don't speak them.

>>94392235
Emoji movie seems more like a peak NORP movie than an autism movie.

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>>94423518

>>94423518
>>94421508
>>94423959
These are very nicely drawn. Good stuff anon!

>>94392438
They should make a version of this for girls.

>>94424017
It's your lucky day.
>>94396126

>>94420100
>>94420145
>Lights Camera Jackson is still a thing

>>94424024
neat

>>94410923
because english is retarded

>>94418622
I am not sure which would have been more hilarious

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>>94393479
I knew that looked familiar

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>>94392692
OY VEY

>>94396389
no you retard they aren't

>>94392106
Why would you? Those were spooky ghosts and he was covered in ectoplasm.

>>94423982
Thanks

>>94392045
I thought /co/ was a liberal and progressive place. shouldn´t you guys celebrate this brave hero for freeing him or herself (just because he was born with a penis doesn´t mean that he hast to be a man you bigot) of societies conservative shekels (that were all created by old white men) and instead choose sexual empowerment and free love.
what are you? some kind of racist sexist christian trump supporter?

>>94420992
beautiful

>>94411080

>I know, I'll wear my jew hat. Can't arrest me if I'm wearing my jew hat. Remember the 6,000,000! hehheh

>>94396301
this has to be a edit, look that black bitch she is the real autist

>>94393479
I mean, to be fair the only action this dude is going to get is rape. We should just kill abominations before they have a chance to grow up because they will almost certainly become rapists.

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>>94422919
kek

>>94392045
i also saw this in cinemas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiUEqee7pO4

>>94428349
>MrPieFan
Huh, didn't know this was a fetish. Learn something new everyday

>>94392692
I work in Lakewood where that guy lives. It's 95% Jewish and they usually only get caught doing shit when they leave the town and head over to the neighboring turns like Howell.

>>94392692
Delete this