Thunderbolts featuring Luke Cage Storytime (Part 6)

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>"I left for FIVE MINUTES!"

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I know I wanted to post earlier, but sadly my day job decided to interfere.

>>90987366
for one brief moment I thought this was Zubbolts and my heart died. Thank you anon for storytiming a really underrated run.

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Well, that happened.

>>90987389
I like that Cage admits that Abe deserting is kinda his fault.

Good evening!
I've decided that six issues is probably the maximum I can storytime in a single sitting

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>>90987425
Don't get too excited, we've still got things that are arguably even worse than Zubbolts on the docket.

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>>90987481
Storytimes used to get done a lot faster, before the cooldown time was doubled. Usually people settle for three to four issues.

Since I have to be up early tomorrow, this will only be four instead of the usual six.

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>"No Internet?! You could have spared me that!"

Looks like Boomerang won't be on Captain Hydra's side come Secret Empire.

Fuck you, nigger. I wanted my Thunderbolts 2 weeks ago ;_;

I could've downloaded the thing but I like the story times.

>>90987486
Let me guess the Redbolts era?

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Well, that's one way to pacify the guy who used to be able to fight Spider-Man.

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>>90987587
Luckily, Luke and Danny aren't related to Waybolts at all. No, it's unrelated to the Thunderbolts.

>>90987587

people defend the Soule stuff! somehow

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>>90987567
>I could've downloaded the thing but I like the story times.

I'm only posting Parkerbolts, so you can still download the classic Bolts, and storytime yourself, maybe in a time that isn't dumb as hell.

>>90987636
Nah.

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>>90987440
Well he's specifically mentioning Cain this time, but yeah, he's admitting he fucked up.

>>90987590
Hey, she does have some Succubus Powers

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>"We started thinking of him as his job at the Raft."
>"Bert didn't feel like we wanted him past his ability to make the place run."

No wonder he went back to his boyfriend.

>>90987612
Oh god Ironfist the living weapon?

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Huh, I would never have guessed Karla to be the "fluffy bunny slippers" type.

>>90987629
Bringing Johnny and Venom was a good idea and salvaged some of the concepts. But he left way too early to really play with the story.

>>90987366
Hey. Once again, probably not in until the end of the road, but will comment while I'm here.

>1ST ISSUE
>of a new era

Heh.

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>"It's Nazis!"

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>>90987683
It looks more like she's just summoning other Succubi, rather than doing it herself, but it's an arbitrary line, at best.

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>>90987696
Fearless Defenders.

Yes, we're doing it properly.

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>>90987726
Personally, I could've done without Punisher, at least once Dillon left and there'd be no more Frankface.

>>90987664
>It's like I'm the Rackham now.

>>90987486
Troll is cute.

>>90987781
I love boomerang
I miss superior foes

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See, when I think "Satanna in her evil aspect", THIS is what I think of.

>>90987852
Boomer is great.

>>90987807
And now Centurius has a new fetish.

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Somewhere, Roy Thomas has an erection, and he has no idea why.

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>>90987852
>>90987859
There's a Luke Cage bit in Superior Foes, so I'm considering using that as an excuse to just run the entire series.

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Oh Karla, are there no depths that you won't sink to.

>>90987911
You'll be done in 2 years Mr. PM-IF

The first chunk of Secret Six (The Villains United stuff) can be found here:
>>90982087

>>90987911
What's more, it's a direct reference to this run.
Also Abe is Boomerang's Parole Officer. Seems like reason enough.

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>>90987829
At least he hasn't tried to kill any of them.f

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>>90987959
>You'll be done in 2 years Mr. PM-IF

You say that, but we past the bulk of it a while ago. Maybe a few months at worst.

>>90987934
Man, I would legit read a WWII era Thunderbolts.

With the Bolts as Fifth Columnist Supervillains disguised as heroes, but then Germany loses the war and they're at a loss at what to do next.

>>90987561
Walker and Shalvey are a really good team on this book.

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Luke, he's as helpful as Abe is. At least Ghost is giving you info about him.

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>>90988003
>Man, I would legit read a WWII era Thunderbolts.
This arc is probably the closest you're going to get.

>>90988045
There's always What Ifs.

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>"I've never been the hottest detective, but let's see what we can turn up."

Luke, you're married to Jessica Jones, who actually IS a private eye, and we've seen how good she is at it. You do all right.

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>"If we start to look like we might win, then Moonstone switches over too."
>"Heh, that's for sure."

Karla is what you might call, "a reliable traitor".

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Luke, are you really surprised that one of Satana's old bases is filled with spooky shit?

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I don't believe Doctor Strange had any books around this time, so your guess as to what he's doing is as good as mine.

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>>90988050
Does Marvel even DO those anymore?

>>90988145
Shit.

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>that Screaming Mimi costume

Let's just say Melissa moved up when she became Songbird, in more ways than one.

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This is basically a flashback issue for Songbird's time in the Thunderbolts.

>>90988193
Course, the way it happened in Busiek's run, Melissa already looked like Songbird about a page before Atlas gave Baron the IDEA to pretend to be Superheroes.

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I've only seen it under Liefield Jr's pen lately so I forgot, but the Meteorite costume really is actually pretty good.

>>90988193
Yellow Ultraman lol

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If you've read the Bolts before, you'll be able to recognize almost everyone on this page.

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>>90988229
I forget, what was the deal with the costume change originally, then?

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Remember the time Melissa kissed (if not slept with) Zemo as part of some revenge plot of hers for the shady crap he did during New Thunderbolts, like killing Genis and making the Thunderbolts fight the New Avengers?

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>"It felt like I was being shown something. For a reason. The past."

A shame they don't think much about it at the time.

>>90988279
I believe it was that Helmut shared your views on Screaming Mimi's choice of attire and had Fixer dress her up accordingly.

Personally, I think he has a mild fear of clowns.

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>"This antenna has been here for 68 years."

Dun dun dun!

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Spider-Man really can't turn it off, can he?

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Welp, say goodbye to Melissa, everyone, because Val is about to murder her right in front of Avengers Mansion.

>>90988331
Good thing this was from before the A-bomb, because carbon dating has been fucked ever since. Although, since the building was made with future material, I don't think Ghost should have been able to date that

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>Troll's axe almost literally has a glowing arrow pointing at her

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>>90988320
>Personally, I think he has a mild fear of clowns.

I like this reason.

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Has Namor ever worn trunks like this before? I thought speedos were his thing?

>>90988404
Val a cool.

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And now they're all getting on with Karla's cosplay idea.

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>that secod panel

Troll is having none of Karla's shit.

>>90988470
>Satanna
Oh no muh dick

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>>90988461
She's basically one of the best Defenders.

>>90988045
Try this one: The Life of Otto Skorzeny

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs-bmsrXRxI

Otto is the nazi Cap. Interesting life.

The 'bolts and Otto remind me of Morrissey's Last of the Famous International Playboys:

In our lifetime those who kill
The newsworld hands them stardom
And these are the ways
On which I was raised
These are the ways
On which I was raised
I never wanted to kill
I AM NOT NATURALLY EVIL
Such things I do
Just to make myself More attractive to you
HAVE I FAILED ?

Music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk1wUKoXL20

>>90988470
Would such clothing be acceptable in 1940s?
Her shoulders and legs are completely exposed, not to mention her bosom.

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>the caption doesn't say "NEIN!"

This series is now shit.

>>90988000
Ah, a rare instance of Irish/Celtic mythology showing up. Nice.

>>90988003
I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

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So, outside of the Golden Age Human Torch, where can I read more Jim Hammond?

>>90988565
There's a war on. Gotta flash some T&A when you can.
Also it does a good job of making her seem more mischievous and less Evil Seductress.

>>90988610
Vision is him reborn

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Am I crazy, or does Red Skull have pointy ears?

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>that last panel
>"Oh no, I don't want to fight my boyfriend's dad."

>>90988610
He was is Robinson's Squadron Supreme wasn't he?

>>90988065
Frankly, he wasn't that bad a detective back in the Heroes for Hire days. Pretty good at tracking people down and giving them new door holes.

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I can't tell who wants the other more, Namor or Satana.

>>90988610
Surprisingly a lot of places. He showed up again in West Coast Avengers John Byrne run, he's been part of the Invaders revivals he's has a major subplot in the Squadron Supreme book. Also Invaders if you are okay with Bronze age books.

>>90988641
I will go through any depths of Secret Empire shenanigans just for Spencer's Fixer/Zemo bants

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>that second panel Troll

We've got all the sexy you could ask for, with Satana, and Troll is supplying the cute.

>>90988579
okay, that guy is straight out of Hellboy

>>90988641
is a negro?

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Notice they keep mentioning "What's the worst thing we could do?" and "let's not screw with the past"?

Keep that in mind for the next few days.

>>90988128
>so your guess as to what he's doing is as good as mine.

Getting hit by the Bendis nerf bat I guess.
Danny's kinda magic, why not bring him?

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>>90988667
I'm hoping to see if we get any Fixer/Steve bantz, honestly.

>>90988641

Hahahahaha!

>>90988145
They used to do the 5-6 ones annually, but I don't think so, no.

And we don't even get no Exiles no more, either.

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>>90988724
Danny's probably picked up some things from K'un Lun, but he's hardly a magician, and this isn't anything he'd be familiar with.

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>>90988704
Well intentioned racist Cap is best Cap

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>>90988756
I'm surprised they haven't just tried to do an Avengers version of Exiles, since the premise alone is worth doing.

>>90988231
Mach 1 is a better looking suit than Mach V. Or Mach 10.

>>90988256
Mount Boltsmore when?

>>90988764
Ahaha, Satana's grumpy face when she thinks she is getting called out on her magic!
I definitely need to read her other books.

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>>90988823
I'd have to look at them all side-by side, but I distinctly remember thinking that Mach-II was crap.

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>>90988846
I'd prefer waiting a few years, when we can forget the Buckybolts were ever a thing, less we get him on that monument.

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Well... fuck.

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Last issue for the night, Anons!

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>>90988856
Apparently her most recent appearance after this series ended was in Aaron's Doctor Strange.

So, you know, check for her older appearances.

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God DAMN, that Cap looks like he's seen better days.

>>90988461
She's the best way to do a political character- loud, possibly abrasive, and not implicitly supported by the writing.

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>Hyde carrying Troll into battle

>>90988470
That Boomerang design is top shelf.

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Huh, I guess Cap's shield doesn't protect him from flames. You'd think that would've come up before.

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I love how even Centurius is starting to treat Troll as the team daughter.

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>Fuckin' Straya!

>>90989002
Just wait until Valkyrie gets a big push after finally appearing in movies.

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>>90989022
These Golden Age variant costumes are surprisingly good, but yeah, that's the only one that's good outside the context.

>>90988610
He was in Heroes for Hire. Luke, Danny and the 'bolts had to rescue Ant-Man's daughter.

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For those of you who don't know, "Phineas" refers to Phineas Horton, the man who created the original Human Torch android.

>>90989124
Centurius' costume is pretty great too.

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I like to think Satana is lying through her teeth about that last part, and she just wants to get some fish-dick.

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>>90989126
We went through that series, but he barely even showed up there. I was asking for something where he's around a lot. I recall him being assigned to track down the Squadron Supreme for killing Namor in Robinson's book, so I'm probably going to try and read that later.

>>90989155
Given what happens to guys she kisses, I'm a bit worried here.

>>90989124
But you were informed about them?

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>>90989180
If it makes you feel better, she may not have actually kissed him.

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>>90988565
Have you never seen nose art?

Floozies like that'd be fine.

>>90988003
>With the Bolts as Fifth Columnist Supervillains disguised as heroes, but then Germany loses the war and they're at a loss at what to do next.

They hide out in Brazil and what until they can spread their philosophy on the Internet.

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I will never stop giggling every time I see Fixer's little helicopter blade-arms.

>>90989213
What if we secretly are these?

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>>90989200
Hell, that may be even MORE revealing than Satana's costume, since it shows off the back more.

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>>90989213
>>90989229
Then I'm doing a really bad job, since I'm spreading comics about a Black Man and a White man thinks he's asian.

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Cap, they're only unarmed because you won't let them Flame On, and they were kicking your ass when they WERE armed.

>>90989253
>When you find out your race are not actually the Master Race .

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Scratch that, Satana is indeed kissing Namor.

I mean, they're also banging, but if you didn't see that coming your eyesight is worse than Matt Murdock's.

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And now you know why Helmut has such a lame name. Karla retroactively bullied his dad into doing it.

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Seriously, just LOOK at Fixer's left arm there! He must be sore as hell flying like that!

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Well, looks like Satana isn't the only one who got her some.

>>90988801
Is it even racist, though? I think Negro was just preferred nomenclature for the time.

Even today, it feels more formal than it does racist.

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And that's it for tonight Anons! See you tomorrow night, as we see if the Thunderbolts survived, and if they did, where they ended up! See you then!

>>90989316
Helmut means "Head Shield". It is perfect for him, the lightning that galvanizes the world with ideas.

>>90989375
Back when the story was set, it wasn't racist, because as you said, it was the preferred term.

In 2011, it's not, so it'd be called racist. It's why, when I first started running this, and we were doing 70's Luke Cage, I had to keep asking "This seems racist now, but was it intentioned to be racist 40 years ago?"

>>90989016
Cuteball special!

>>90989045
Well, it protects him from SOME flames. but sustained heat would eventually make an indestructible metal disk pretty hot...

>>90988145
The last one we had was AvX What If iirc, and that was only due to overwhelming demand. It still managed to disappoint.

Man I want this team (or something similar) back. They are just a proper evil team as far as entertainment and power level goes.

Plus Centurion, Troll,Santana, and Hyde need some love nowadays.

>>90989838
>Santana

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyQUCYl-ocs

Best team. Thanks OP

>>90989838
Troll should be on the Champions

>>90990981
A fate worse than death.

>>90990981
Isn't Troll older than them?

>>90992379
She's an Asgardian, so maybe?

T-BUMP