Heroes For Hire vol 1 Storytime (Part 1)

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This is the issue I mentioned the other night, by the way.

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Remember when JJ had a wife?
Slott remembers, and laughs.

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>"If not the cops, who CAN we turn to?"

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And our boy Luke is finally out from Chicago and back in the Gem theatre!

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>DW is back
>he owns the theater now

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And now Luke is even back in his classic outfit. Someone on the staff was a massive 70's fan.

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By the way, yes, this is during Ben Riley's time swinging the webs.

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Remember when the Scorpion wasn't treated as a joke?

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Huh, I never really saw the whole "Deadpool looking like Spider-Man" thing, but without the black lines all over the costume? Yeah, I can easily see it.

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Huh, I had no idea that Misty worked for Murdock.

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Oh yeah, this freaky little ghost. I can only imagine how much they wanted people to wonder about him... and here we are, 20 years later not giving a single fuck about him.

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I don't think I like this Danny...

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You have no idea how lucky you are that Luke doesn't just break you over his knee like he's Bane and you're Batman.

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Luke Cage vs. Scorpion.

FIGHT!

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>Luke's skin is so strong that the Scorpion's stinger can't penetrate it

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Man, when was the last time we saw Luke's shirt get freaking ripped open like this?

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Think for a moment dude. Even if this plan works, you're killing your boss's best friend. No matter how broody he gets, he's gonna fuck you up if he finds out about this.

>Danny with untied long hair.

The 90*s were a mistake.

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Who the fuck is this, and why does she say she's Misty? She's dressed like a SHIELD agent, and she's white.

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>Luke uses his chain as a weapon

THIS is a practical costume. None of that tactical nonsense we've got noe.

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Oh god, Gargan's an ugly motherfucker.

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>>85204690
Not entirely Anon, we've just got this one bit of suffering to go through.

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Get your own catch phrase Ben!

>>85204923
Everyone in this comic is.

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>>85205145
Yeah, but he's ugly even for this comic, you know?

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At least JJ admits that he probably DOESN'T want Spidey to die this time, because it would mean Gargan would fucking kill him.

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>that last panel

Yesssss

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Remember the time Luke literally shoved a massive wad of cash down JJ's throat?

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And we already know where Danny's going, because we read it >>85140580

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I guess by now the actual PLOT of "Birth of a Nation" had reached the masses, so they just called DW "Griffith".

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One more issue before we get to the good stuff!

Hey, remember when comics were only 99 cents?

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I guess this was around his vaguely "heroic" period? And I mean that in the loosest possible sense.

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>Luke lifts a car over his head with one hand

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You guys remember this, right?

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Yeah, he wrecked Sabertooth's shit even worse than Danny ever did.

>>85203801
... I think you might have missed an Iron Fist guest appearance along the way. I've got an old issue of one of the Spider-Man books (forget which) where he teams up with Danny to fight a guy called like Payload or something? Anyway, it was definately before they changed to that cover style mid Clone Saga. I think it was during the Robot Parents era.

It's probably not important enough to bother tracking down though. Much better to get going towards H4H.

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>>85205980
I'm going with these two issues because they're deemed important enough to be collected with the rest of the series in the Heroes For Hire trades Marvel's putting out in a few months.

>>85205943
>If you kill him, he wins
I dunno, Wolvie offed him once and he seemed pretty clearly the winner of that particular fight.

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>>85206010
Difference is, with Wolverine it's an actual FIGHT. If you remember, Sabertooth really couldn't do jack shit to Luke because his skin was too tough to cut.

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>"While you're prevented from killing me, I have the advantage."

How exactly does this collar work, out of curiosity?

>>85204008
>That ragging on Diznee Square

Also, I guess Misty was a recurring character in Daredevil at this point, once again dumping Colleen into the background because....

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Welp, I guess it doesn't matter HOW it works.

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>>85206149
Seriously, why does Marvel dislike Colleen so much? It's always Misty that gets put in other books.

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And skipping an ad...

>>85204128
There are a lot of characters you could say that about.

Somewhere along the way, Marvel decided to treat almost everyone as a joke if they figured it could get a laugh.

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>"Even I know I can't rip your skin."

Sabertooth is mostly a "rip and tear" guy, right? Against Luke, who he literally CAN'T cut, how can he possibly win? He doesn't exactly seem to be throwing any punches, just more attempts to rip him open, which he admits to knowing won't work.

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See, Luke even outright figures out a way to take him out easily, by choking the motherfucker.

Shit, imagine how much easier Wolverine's life would be if every time he had a problem with Sabertooth, he just gave Luke a call.

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So have ANY of these characters had a major role in the last ten years? Or A role outside of "background setpiece"?

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>"Kid? I'm not THAT young."
>"You're not that young, you're just short. Keep eating your Wheaties."

And now that we've gotten the previews out of the way...

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... Let's get to our main event!

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You're reading that right folks, this issue is written by John Ostrander, famous for his run on The Spectre, and more relevantly, Suicide Squad!

Let's see how this book compares.

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Are you intrigued yet?

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Speaking of, did we ever get any news on that Citizen V book?

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>"Meanwhile, Daredevil's putative pal, attorney Franklin Nelson emphatically denied reports that Daredevil is a mutant."

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Hi Jim Hammond!


What's be been up to, anyway? I haven't seen him since he threatened to give the Squadron Supreme cancer that one time.

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One of the aftereffects of Onslaught was that the Hulk didn't have Bruce Banner in him. He was ALWAYS the Hulk.

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>"There, the Incredible Hulk is now our property!"

Is this a sex thing?

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>Danny ninjas into the movie theatre with popcorn
>Luke somehow never noticed him come in or sit down next to him

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>"I'm not a team kinda guy, anyway."

Hilariously, I think Luke has joined at least one version of every team in the Marvel Universe, save the X-ones.

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Fuckin' hell. I know the Hulk's size variest depending on the artist, but look at that shit. His bicep is wider than that man's entire body!

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And suddenly, Hercules.

>>85206376
Pascual Ferry?! Oh yeah.

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... Okay, WHY is Hercules dressed like a total fucking dork? Although, going by that last panel, that worked with the ladies, so what the fuck do I know.

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I admit, it's been a while since I read Onslaught, but I don't remember the Silver Surfer being involved.

Also, why the fuck is Hercules there twice?!

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Oh right, because Hercules is telling the story. Frankly we should be glad he's ONLY there twice.

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Remember how K'un Lun was on Earth in that Iron Fist two-parter the other night?

Yeah, Marvel just doesn't give a fuck about the whole "ten years" thing.

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If this were a modern comic book, we'd see her skulking around for four issues, before the heroes meeting her at the last page of the 5th.

>>85207075
>that digital background in the last panel
wew

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Meet the second White Tiger, Anons. Much like Kasper Kole, she's completely unrelated to the White Tiger of the Jade Necklace.

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Because the only strategy Hercules needs is "hit everything until it stops hitting back!"

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>>85207101
This was the mid-late 90's. That was the fashion, after all.

>>85206376
Speaking of, have you seen the movie yet? I heard Ostrander loved it.

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If you've read post-Onslaught PAD Hulk, you already know what's wrong with that last panel. Marvel editorial is already slipping.

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>>85207191
Not yet, but I plan to see it tomorrow/tonight.

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It's Hercules, so of course he's been drinking.

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Hey, it worked for him before, Peter.

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>Hercules has known White Tiger for barely an hour and is already trying to get into her pants

Classic Herc

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Is this the same one you dealt with in Alpha Flight, X-Anon?

>>85207323
>decide to look up this character
>she's literally an evolved white tiger
wow

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>>85207357
Don't look up any more, Anon. She's introduced in this series, and we get her entire backstory here.

>>85207357
Forgot to spoiler that shit
damn

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And now we're getting to the age of variant covers. THIS is the real cover.

>>85207350
Yeah, except he looks like a fucking dork here.

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>>85207435
It's the 90's, X-Anon.

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Honestly, I think I prefer the anime-esque 90's over the EXTREME 90's. That may just be the weeb in me talking though.

>>85207452
Sure, but I expected better from Ferry. Then again, this is clearly pretty early in his career.

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Remember, Nitro's power is literally blowing himself up.

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Yeah, that ended as well as could be expected.

>>85204586
Back in the Jim Owlsley days?

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>>85207564
I think it stopped happening once he teamed up with Iron Fist.
Also, you can call him by his more famous name, Christopher Priest.

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The Avengers had Thor who could tell him to knock that shit off.

>>85204670
I honestly think that at this point, Danny's company might be more evil than Jimmy Woo's various Atlas companies.

He really ought to have looked into this shit when he undied.

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>>85207631
I don't even know how much power Danny actually HAS in the company. Remember, Joy Meachum was the one in charge at first, and then Namor bought the company, which only some writers actually remember.

>>85207623
>that Xenomorph in the background
Izzat even legal?

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So the U-Foes are generally Hulk villains, right?

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>>85207664
The first trade is coming out in December, so let's see if it's still a Xenomorph then.

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Hi Black Knight!

>>85204801
Man, he's even back to indifferently killing his enemies. This IS old school Cage.

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How many different Avalons do we have now?

>>85207711
It's just weird because I'm pretty sure Dark Horse had the rights to Alien even back then.

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X-Anon, you've read more of Marvel UK than I have. Does this fall in line with what they probably established about King Arthur?

>>85205473
>Hey, remember when comics were only 99 cents?

That was actually a discount price to win back readers after the collector's bubble burst.

IIRC they got cheaper paper, because the 'expensive' books had switched to glossy paper by this point.

>>85203972
>dat dazzler shirt
Where 2 cop

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Okay, so Hercules is mortal now... but he can still throw entire trains?

>>85205510
This would be while he's a member of X-Factor, yes.

That lasts from bit after AOA until Graydon Creed's assassination.

>>85207802
Arthur is alive in Marvel UK, even made a couple cameos in Moore's Captain Britain, so...

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>>85207955
Yeah, but Moore's Captain Britian was over a decade before this issue, so maybe he died between them? I'm trying to give the writer the benefit of the doubt.

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>"I can focus all my force into just my fists!"

Huh, THAT is a new trick.

>>85207984
I wouldn't know, I haven't read that much Marvel UK.

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That window is probably coming out of his paycheck.

>>85208007
Why is Nitro still alive? Why hasn't anyone offed this creep already?

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And that's it for the issue, Anons! It's a slow start, but I hope that, in time, you'll love this series as much as I do.

>>85206306
Forge and Polaris, maybe?
Polaris was featured in Austen's X-Men, and then joined the Starjammers.
Forge has continued to show up to make stuff when plot convenient and get cucked by Logan.

Wildchild was turned into an Edgelord and killed off by Loeb.
Shard died in Bishop's solo book and never came back, possibly because calling her brother by their mutual last name is moronic.

>>85208056
This was before Civil War, and the worst he's done was indirectly kill Mar-Vell. As for why he's alive NOW? That's a genuinely good question. Maybe they can't?

>>85206388
I like these SHIELD uniforms.

They're kinda dumb, yeah, but they're sci-fi enough to fit with an agency that can build enough Helicarriers to deal with near weekly crashes.

>>85206743
>>85206760
That skunk stripe in Luke's hair makes him a whole lot less generic looking in civilian attire. Shame that certain writers don't realize that and made him bald.

>>85206854
Well, Strongest One There Is.

Also, I think this is meant to be about the size of the 90s Merged Hulk, who was enormous.

>>85206931
Homage to Bob Layton's Space Hercules?
New design because Perry got to tweak everyone's looks?
Abandonment of the Kevin Sorbo ripoff look they'd been doing for the last couple years because it wasn't really working?

In any case, it isn't a bad look. Better than sweatpants and a tanktop like he was wearing before this.

>>85206979
He's more talking about the Avengers generally I think.
The bottom team is the Hydrobase era team, I think, and the top is his most frequent costume.

>>85207518
Herc's power, today, is blowing everything else up.

>>85207732
Hello reference to a one-shot X-Anon will run in a few months.