Secret Defenders: Featuring the Heroes for Hire

>>85171159
HOLY FUCKING SHIT DR. DRUID HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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It's probably for the best that I didn't do the entire series, now that I think about it. Linkara did a review of a few issues a few years ago, back when he was still skinny.

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>Writer
>Tom Brevoort

Oh, this should be good...

>>85171224
That's not what the Death card means, you fucking hacks.

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Yet again, I haven't read a book that something I'm covering is referencing. Why is Doctor Strange's costume talking back?

>>85171261
I guess that explains why this got a digital rip and not other, worthier comics.

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>>85171298
That's not what ANY of those cards mean!

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X-Anon, you've read a lot of Claremont. Does this seem rape-y to you?

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Well, if it IS supposed to be rape-y, he got over it quickly.

>>85171261
Let's see if he can put his money where his mouth is

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He's weirdly buff for a freaking Wizard.

>>85171402
Well, he's getting strangled by a snek (not on the naughty bits tho!) and crying like a pussy, so I'm gonna go ahead and say "yes".

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Honestly, I don't really mind the digital coloring on this, if only because it means we don't have to deal with what was probably ungodly awful 90's coloring.
And as we saw in the last few threads, that can get really shit.

>>85171159
God, they weren't even trying to make Druid not look evil at this point. He's like a palette swap away from being Gideon from X-Force.

>>85171505
Spider-Woman...?

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>"I have needs which must be fulfilled"
>"Needs who's satisfaction demands the use of expendable minions."

Is this some kind of sex thing?

>>85171261
>Doctor Strange
>No mustache
>'Strange' in the background

This is looking bad already.

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>>85171598
Nope, Sepulchre. Only other books I've seen her in are Ellis's Thunderbolts, and Bendis's New Avengers, and she was only in THAT for a montage gag.

>>85171324
At this point Stephen had created like, a golem named Strange that had a lot of his powers.
It was weird, I don't have much of the story.

Basically, Doctor Strange was two different people at this point, that's all you probably need to know.

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Cage, just because your skin is invincible doesn't mean you don't feel things.

>>85171682
Wait, what? This is the same chick from Ellis' Thunderbolts? Why does she look exactly like Spider-Woman?

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>Deadpool
>Using white text boxes

This man is now one of the most important editors in Marvel comics, and he's making fuck-ups even I'd catch.

>>85171700
Is this like Fate then? They both even dropped the "Doctor" part.

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>>85171706
This is an older identity, "Shadowoman". As for why she's dressed like Spider-Woman? Who knows.

>>85171505
Especially since while he was an Avenger he very much had a Dad Bod. He was also bald.

I guess he hit the gym and got Rogaine for the 90s.

Also, a Nocturne ripoff wearing Jessica Drew's costume?

>>85171731
He didn't always have yellow text boxes

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>>85171804
I figured, but it's fun to take the piss at Brevoort.

>>85171832
>>85171804
Yeah, they were white with red borders at first, then white with yellow borders and then finally, yellow.

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>>85171800
Dude's got a six pack showing under his costume. Fuck hitting the gyms, he cast a spell of gains on himself.

>>85171682
>Luke is hired to protect a museum
>Still Kool Aid Mans through the wall.

That's some ANATOMY in that third panel.
Torso sized head.

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>>85171914
Despite the pride he takes in his job, when collateral damage is calculated, Luke actually sucks at it.

>>85171731
This is before the yellow boxes. He has red borders instead.
The yellow boxes come in with Malibu colours IIRC.

>>85171758
Not really. Stephen Strange is still there, most of his magic is just contained in a seperate body that he controls.

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Wait, her name is Shade now?

>>85171991
Well, I mostly meant the "90's retooling" part.

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Since the colorist fucked up and made her costume red this time, you can tell how obviously she looks like Jessica Drew.

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So besides Wade being Wade, is there any reason he's going on about Power Rangers? Did I forget a season where there was a Minotaur megazord?

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How much do you want to bet that nobody involved in this comic has any idea what the Fool tarot actually means?

It means the beginning of a journey.

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Welp, I guess Shadowoman fucked off between issues.

>>85172100
It's May of 1994, and Power Rangers is the hottest shit in the world?

>>85172100
It's what the kids like.

Like Claremont's incessant Star Wars references

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>>85172178
>>85172197
In other words, "no, there isn't." Makes as much since as most things he says.

>>85172177
She didn't rate a cover appearance last issue either. I think she's here from now on though, because she's Druid's sidekick.

>>85172224
>Enchiladas!

God, Gerry Duggan has saved Deadpool.
I really need to buy those books. I only own the all-flashbacks trade, which I bought on a whim.
I think I may go for the hardcovers, omnibuses seem like they're hard to read most of the time.

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>"You do me a disservice, Luke Cage!"

To be fair, I vaguely recall you spending most of your time with the Avengers as their token evil member.

>>85172303
He was the token "nobody's favorite" member. Granted, I'm not big on the Avengers, but I have never, ever heard anyone say their favorite Avenger is Dr. Druid.

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What's the Venom Symbiote doing here?

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>>85172289
They're doing an Omni of the pre-Secret Wars series.

I'm actually gonna try and sell my Hardcovers on eBay if I ever sell my DnA Guardians trades.

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Oh, and someone FINALLY bidded on one of the trades. Been trying to sell those things for months.

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So does anybody else know the deal with these characters?

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Going by this entire backstory, I get the feeling she was invented for this story.

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You can tell it's a comic book, since a man can go to a university with Satanic images in a lecture, and it was never heard of.

>>85172525
I'm pretty sure Malachi was the running antagonist in this series, but I only own like, the first two, which had all mysterious antagonists, and a later issue about the Wand of Watoomb.

>>85171347
Strength is...not totally misused?

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>>85172602
Maybe, I never actually read this story in my "research" for these storytimes.

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So we're getting her entire backstory, and she doesn't bother mentioning Spider-Woman and her costume.

>>85171159
Secret Defenders is an absolute work of art and I'm so fucking happy that it's getting an omnibus. I kept spamming Brevort's formspring for years with requests for it and I'd like to think that I'm partially responsible for making it happen.

The series really is something special.

>>85172013
Her original name was Shadowoman.

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>>85172794
There's an Omni? I know there's at least one paperback coming out.

>>85172066
>the coloring on luke's biceps
The transitioning to digital coloring is going to be painful, isn't it?

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>>85172831
Yeah, but why is Malachi calling her Shade?

im not a faggot dad

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So apparently she's calling her that based on her shadow powers, and that wasn't just a third name I wasn't aware of.

>>85172197
With Claremont's references, I think he's actually a fan.

>>85172154
Or the hero of a story. Not really insulting.

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>>85172923
Was he? I know Dave Cockrum probably was, based on the whole Shi'Ar thing.

>>85172973
People (especially younger people, like Kitty), are always referencing Star Wars, even after Cockrum or even Byrne.

I wonder what he thinks of the prequels?

>>85172851
Ah, yeah, looks like it's just the first 11 issues in paperbacks, and it's been renamed "Dr. Strange and the Secret Defenders" presumably because those are the issues where he leads the team before Thanos does then Druid.

Got bad info from my LCS I guess.

Less hype now. My favorite issues are the 9-10 arc (Silver Surfer, War Machine and Thunderstrike) and the Thanos' Secret Defenders arc (12-14), so it'll only have the one. Issue 11 has my single favorite spread of Richard Rider though so there's that.

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>>85173029
No Anon, there's another paperback called Deadpool and the Secret Defenders which has 15-25. We're going through half of that paperback's contents tonight.

>>85171159
Oh cool, the 1st/2nd time Deadpool has been with the Heroes for Hire if you know what I mean.

>>85173093
Oh, perfect!

Wait, but that still means no Thanos' Secret Defenders. It's only a 3 issue arc so I can't see them getting their own trade. Dammit.

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>>85173112
And we'll later see the 2nd/3rd time.

>>85171774
>As for why she's dressed like Spider-Woman? Who knows.
Maybe she was a Spiderwoman villain?

IM NOT A FAGGOT DAD!!!!

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>>85173159
I'll probably be doing that in a few months when I do my Captain Marvel/Adam Warlock storytime, since that has Genis-Vell meet Nitro for the first time.

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This is basically the finale of Stone Ocean, years before Araki wrote it.
Fucking hack, first he ripped off X-Men, now he's ripping off Secret Defenders.

>>85173254
Man, what a fantastic exchange that is.

>>85173309
noone cares
button lee noone

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>>85173325
Anon, every time I say something stupid, just assume I'm taking the piss. More often than not, I am.

For instance, this time I'm making the joke before someone else does.

>>85173354
noone cares
button lee noone

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Is Nick-At-Nite even still a thing?

>>85173203
Nope, it seems she had no connection to Spider woman early in her life.

IDK what to think.

>>85173438
I don't think so?

>>85173477
>Hey, we need a costume for this new character!
>Oh, just give her Spider-Woman's costume but purple. No one cares about her anyway
>Seriously?
>Yeah
>...OK then, I'm still getting paid though

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Wait, why does turning younger/healing mean you suddenly lose your Gandalf beard?

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>>85173507
Despite what Bendis and Modern Marvel wants us to believe, there was a long period where nobody gave a shit about Jessica Drew.

>>85173507
Well, at this point "Spider-Woman" was Julia Carpenter, a member in good standing of Force Works.

>>85173580
>there was a long period where nobody gave a shit about Jessica Drew.
I don't think we care about her now. I can't remember the last time I saw her comic storytimed.

The better question is when did anyone care about her?

>>85173580
That period continues to this day.

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And for a single panel, we got Cage back in his classic yellow silk.

And since when does Luke know how to fight with a sword?

>>85173639
Chris Claremont cared about her, which is why he put Julia in Freedom Force. He was super salty about her existence and Jess getting sidelined.

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>>85173639
Bendis cared about her. Despite wanting to make the Avengers full of A-Listers, he put her on the starting team, remember?

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And now Druid has the ability to manipulate reality. This can't possibly end poorly.

>>85173720
I forgot how forgettable she was.

In a few years she'll only be remembered as that one hero who knocked herself up and put the kid in danger because she kept fighting crime.
Well, that and Secret Invasion.

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Wait, why is Strange the bad guy now?

>>85173795
Man, how dead is her kid gonna be in like 3 creative teams?

I don't see Spider-Woman getting to keep her kid longer than Cyclops got to keep his son.

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>>85173795
As long as Marvel tries to get people to believe that Carol Danvers is Earth's Mightiest Hero, they'll remember that someone decided that Jessica Drew is her best friend.
Because she's been mind wiped so many times she doesn't remember her other friends.

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>>85173854
We have to wait for the old creative team to leave the company, Anon. As long as Hopeless is around, you'll have an easier time killing Danielle Cage.

>>85172154
I am here to read comics not to learn about the world.

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>>85173928
You can do both.

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>"Next time you guys need help, call Spider-Man!"

Humorously enough, Spidey DID work with this team when Doctor Strange lead it.

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He doesn't look like himself without the facial hair. That stubble just isn't enough.

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And that's all for the Cage part of the story...

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But, I promised you Danny, didn't I?

And look, Shadowoman finally got promoted to the front page!

>>85174095
>The Secret Defenders!

>Giant Man!
>Iron Fist!
>Doctor Druid, I guess!
>Miscoloured Spider-Woman
>Eddie from Iron Maiden Album Covers!

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Oh balls, this entire issue is out of order. Well, this is going to be fun to organize.

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Bah, this entire issue is a damn clusterfuck.

Okay Anons, I'll be at this for a while. These scans are a damn nightmare.

>>85174309
Sounds like a good excuse to catch up with this thread tomorrow.
See you then, I'm bedward.

>>85174309
fuck you faggot

>>85174519
Hey, I'm not quitting, I'm just saying you all can take a pee break or something.

>>85174553
fuck you faggot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>85173939
Sure, just think how much you've learned about ethnic slurs!

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And THIS is why you purchase the comics from official channels, Anons. They're less likely to get the pages out of order.

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Secret power of the Iron Fist, you can change your hair color between panels, and nobody will notice.

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>"The Avengers think me a threat at worst, an incompetent at best."
Gee, I can't IMAGINE why.

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What, keeping it in your pocket is too inconvenient so you rip open your chest every time?

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Spoilers: We won't be with this series long enough to know the relevancy of these interludes.

>>85174582
>fuck
Generally accepted as being derived from an Indo-European word meaning "to strike".
>faggot
Originally meaning a bundle of sticks, a symbol of fascism.
>1826 !s
18:26, or 6:26 pm in military time. Your plan to have a fake Neo-Nazi parade through Gotham to distract the police while you rob the bank shipment is obvious, Riddler!

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Is that...

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Holy shit, it's Swarm! Where's he been lately?

>>85174812
>that Death of Jean DeWolff trade that has a pivotal page out of order

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>>85175109
Hey, this entire god damned issue was out of order. It took 20 issues to get this readable!

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Spoilers for X-Anon in a few months.

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>"Rand! You- you're Iron Fist!"

Oh knock it off Hank, he's got the worst kept secret identity in all of Marvel comics.

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Remember that Danny's pants are blue here.

>>85175161
Oh look, it's the two lamest original X-Men. Yay.

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>>85175243
They're there as former members of The Champions, Anon. And they were only on that team because Claremont was still using Jean and Scott, and Hank was an Avenger.

In other words, because you're right and they were the lamest.

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When did Archangel become Warren's designated "edgy evil side"? Because clearly there was a time when he had the powers and was still the same in personality.

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And this is why I mentioned to look at what color Danny's pants were last issue. His pants changed color between issues!

Admittedly, this is pedantic, even for me, but still, it's worth making fun of.

>>85175319
Kyle and Yost's X-Force.

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>>85175496
So was that an actual character develpment?

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And since we're ending at this issue, we'll never know what this interlude means.
Maybe someone else can storytime Secret Defenders, or you can read it yourself.

>>85175516
Sort of, I thought it was a bit out of nowhere (long story short: Angel loses his wings again and finds out he can revert back to his Death/Archangel persona), but Remender did good shit with it.

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Huh, so telekinesis doesn't effect it's "don't touch me, you're violating my personal space!" rule?

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>>85175571
So does Warren only lose his wings that time and in the mutant massacre, or does it happen as often as Jean dying?

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Bobby, is NOW the time to make jokes about the fact that you're a dateless loser? While a swarm of bees are attacking?

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Doctor Druid here is pulling a Karla Sofen!

>>85175611
Those are the only two instances off the top of my head, although there's also the time they turned into wings made out of light (?).

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>"Maybe it was your evil double from the future or something."

X-Anon, while you're here, is there an evil future version of Xavier?

>>85175635
Making dumb jokes at inappropriate times is one of Bobby's few memorable traits, don't take that from him.

And that's it for tonight Anons! See you tomorrow night, as we start one of my favorite series featuring Luke and Danny, John "Suicide Squad" Ostrander's Heroes For Hire!

>>85175705
Well, there's the ten evil Xaviers from X-Treme X-Men.

Also, 616 Xavier desu

>>85171554
Thugs in 90s comics always have the best outfits.

>YO RAP heart tattoo

The fucking best.

>>85178167

>>85175757