Namor The Sub-Mariner Storytime (Part 3)

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Well, he's seen better days.

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Even as a kid, Namor was still an arrogant prick.

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Wait, is Namor remembering this Master Man flashback? How?

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I admit, I'm no expert on Nazis, but given their whole "Aryan purity" thing, why are they letting a redhead acting in a position of authority?

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Well, I guess he isn't anymore.

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And now we're getting a variation on Namor's first appearance in the Silver Age.

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Can he actually control the SPREAD of his flame, so that he didn't set Namor's friggen head on fire?

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And how we got to this moment...

>>84527921
Why is Master Man wearing a dog collar? On second thought, I'm not sure I want to know.

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Credit where it's due, they gave her a met for her cage, and don't just have her sitting on the bars. That's not something most people think of.

>>84528006
Aryan purity was a joke, Japanese were Aryan and Hitler made a Jewish doctor an 'honorary Aryan'.

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>>84528165
It's not exactly a DOG collar, per se.

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>>84528219
And here we even have two Super Nazis working with a black man.
At least I think he's supposed to be black, I don't know many black men with blonde hair.

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Okay, maybe it's because I've been playing MGS4 lately, but I swear that looks like Big Boss in that blue picture.

>>84528068
I will always love that Namor's first appearance in modern comics was "Johnny Storm decides to shave a hobo".

>>84528245
He just looks really tan.

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And suddenly we're back to Misty and Colleen, and now with Rafe.
Still no Luke or Tyrone though.

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>>84528292
This was back in the '60's, before President Ford made hobo shaving illegal. It was a grand old tradition.

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Remember, one of Namor's major weaknesses is dehydration. Which is almost EVERYBODY's weakness.

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So Toro's back now, and as an Inhuman, right? Has anyone mentioned this woman to him?

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More Golden Age heroes? Somewhere, Roy Thomas has an erection and doesn't know why.

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Because of this issue, we're technically doing less chapters than the normal big storytimes. You know, double-sized issues.

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Remember when the Human Torch was in this story?

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Even the page is saying that Namor is wrong here.

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And another expositional flashback.

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Huh, they're actually did a decent job.

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Man, those 80's shoulderpads.

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I won't lie, for a while I got Captain Britian and Union Jack mixed up.
Mostly because of Captain America.

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So their plan to save Namor involves an old woman, an injured superhuman, and Union Jack.
This seems like a bad idea.

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Wait, does he have super strength?

>>84529090
This is a horrible costume that would be much better if tweaked and was not meant for a flying brick

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Remember her whole "doesn't like to be touched" thing? Yeah, seems she doesn't mind as much now.

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Seriously, while his freaking henchmen watch!

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>he asks his henchman why she isn't immediately wet for him

Fucking what?

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Huh, I guess that's one thing that the American Super Soldier Serum has on the German one. The American one doesn't wear out, I don't think.

>>84529314
John Byrne is the most inherently creepy and misogynistic mainstream comic writer ever to work for the big 2. You have to roll with it.

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Oh god, another elf with a gun! I thought we were done with Gerber's madness!

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CAPTAIN AMERICA, OUT OF FUCKIN' NOWHERE!

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>>84529374
It's not the fact that he expects the woman to be madly into him, that's just typical supervillain arrogance. Villains are allowed to be wrong.
It's the fact that he immediately asks his henchman what's wrong with her that makes it laughable.
It'd be like, after every Johnny Bravo episode, he immediately called his mother and asked why they're not into him, you know? I can't tell if he's confident or a beta.

>>84529394

Is this set in Germany?
Because I like to think he takes vacation in Germany, ambush punching neo-fascists for nostalgia.

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See, the elf is even referencing Val!

Oh wait, he's just a midget cyborg. That's normal.

>>84529416
Every single comic title Byrne has worked on for any length of time starts oozing with his fetishes and disdain for the female gender. It's why he isn't employed by either company, despite being a reasonably good plotter and and of the the great artists in comics.

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>>84529450
I thought it was because he's kind of an ass. I mean, have you heard of why he split from Claremont on their X-Men team at basically the peak of their popularity?
He drew a page where Colossus easily ripped a tree stump out from the ground, and Claremont wrote that it took some effort. Don't even get me started on how he basically jumped ship to DC after Shooter didn't support him in something. I genuinely forget what it was.

Besides, Frank Miller is still working, and his misogyny is literally a meme.

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>>84529420
I think this is in East Germany too, which means he can get a commie AND a nazi with the same punch. That's just a double-score right there.

>>84529483
John Byrne had Sue Richards psychic raped into an evil bitch in fetish-wear
He had Superman mind controlled into sexing Big Barda (also mind controlled) in a porno.
He had possessed Superman try to rape Wonder Girl violently
Even in his Hulk run, where he mainly disregarded bitches, he had Doc Samson punch out an inquisitive female reporter just to steal her helicopter.

Don't even get me started on his own independent stuff like Next Men. Brrrrr.

>>84529450

he's also just a total asshole who's burnt all his bridges. I really don't wanna understand how big a pain he is.

& I don't think he's drawn a comic in months or longer

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> "They may be nazis, but it's not for us to stand by and let them die!"

>>84529533
And honestly, he's always been a splendid artist who's a mediocre (at best) writer.

>>84529545
He has to have someone to punch on his time off.

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>>84529574
>"Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to find a Nazi in the 90's?"

>>84529596
And now, every female is hot, mission accomplished!

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Huh, so that's a thing that can happen.

>>84529617
If every woman in the story has been injured or sexually threatened, and running around half-dressed, it's a successful Byrne story.

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Maybe it's just the autist in me, but I've always wondered how cape universes deal with the sheer nonsense in them.
Like, the legal difficulties that come from, say, coming back to life. Or being made decades younger?

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Remember when Pym used to just go by "Hank Pym" and wear that cool red jacket?

>>84529652
It helps that people only become "old" as part of a temporary story narrative.

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>suddenly reduced back to teens
>don't even have to keep the elderly weight

Man, she got a good deal out of this.

>>84529689
Ugh, and how would Pym have figured out that she's 16 physically?
Good old Byrne.

>>84529652
Or all the shapeshifters and evil robot duplicates running around must make it impossible to prove anyone did anything.

>>84529727
Not to mention the mind control.

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>>84529727
>>84529734
For everything else Bendis has screwed up, one part I liked about his Daredevil is that he is legally recognized as an authority on magic. Like, a lawyer can call him in, and he's legally considered an expert on the matter.

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>the first question is about age in a sliding timescale

Wow, and I thought my nonsense about the legal issues of a cape universe were autistic.

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>"NAMOR DOES AS HE PLEASES!"
>toot

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Man, if you thought shaving a hobo was fucked up, imagining just dropping a motherfucker into the ocean.

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See, if this were in She-Hulk's book they could just read that issue of Fantastic Four and call it a day.

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I love the wording of that objection. It makes me assume that Jean Grey has been on the stand, they asked HER that, and she just read his mind.

After turning them gay, of course.

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Yes, Ben is human today. It's comics, let's keep going.

>>84529881
So this is during one of the times Ben was human?

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>"I am the mightiest living mortal on earth!"

Was that how he was treated in the Golden Age? I mean in the Silver Age we got Hulk, Ben, and Thor who could give him a run for his money, but I don't know many Golden Age heroes.

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Credit where it's due, the colorist knows Namor wore a different colored speedo in those days.

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Oh man, they're trying to bring up Silver Age silliness in a serious setting, this'll be great.

>>84529952
He was strong enough to tear through a ship's hull. That was pretty damn impressive in Golden Age Marvel.

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I looked it up, turns out this first panel is literally the cover of issue 6.

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Oh come on, I wanted to see how they'd explain the time he tried to get them to act in a movie for him so he could get into Sue's pants!

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>>84530029
But compared to anyone else, nobody could do that?

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And since you all wanted to see Atlantis...

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DUN DUN DUN

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>they actually stop to wonder if the god swearing on the bible would actually mean anything

It's the little things that make me chuckle.

>>84530101
Not terribly versed in Marvel Golden Age, but most heroes' strength was about peak human. Human Torch had a lot of power, but that's Energy Projection, not brute strength.

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Once again, the first panel is a comic cover. Avengers issue 3, actually.

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And THIS is why you don't let a Viking testify in court.

As anyone who's read Busiek's Avengers will tell you, Thor doesn't respond well to badgering.

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>>84530171
So Golden Age's "mightiest mortal on earth" basically puts him at around Luke Cage's strength.

>>84530213
>And THIS is why you don't let a Viking testify in court.
Why? Vikings actually had fairly sophisticated legal hearings.

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If this were published today, this would be a Bendis page, and either this would just be one page with panels everywhere, or the faces would be copy-pasted.
Look at them, NONE of the faces are exactly the same.

>>84530241
True, but he can also fly, which isn't as common in Marvel as DC.

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>>84530269
What do you mean why, that page literally shows why. If a lawyer tries to manipulate his testimony, he needs to be held back so he doesn't get throttled.
Admittedly, that's viking GODS, that may be a big difference.

>>84530276
>They really qualify as different species
Except, you know, they can interbreed.

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>>84530295
And yet it's still popular that they had to give Angel flight, and something else, because so many other X-Men could fly.

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>>84530325
Isn't the rule that if you can't make offspring that can breed, you're different species? I recall it being a plot point in someone else's run that Namor is sterile.

>>84530312
Yeah, gods are used to getting their own way and aren't going to let the Thing push them around. Also Viking legal assemblies were called Things. Coincidence? yes.

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And back to the Danny subplot, they're finally opening his casket...

>>84530347
How canon is that run, though?

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>"I don't know what it was you thought you saw buried here, but it sure as blazes wasn't human!"


DUN DUN DUN

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Normally I'd skp this, but this page, but there's so much you could make fun of, I have to keep it.

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By the way, remember the the verdict when people complain about Namor. Whenever people want to get annoyed that he was never punished for, well, attacking New York, here we see that he was indeed arrested and tried for his crimes.

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I've never actually read Byrne's Iron Man, so I can't go into details about how that happened.

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>Namor posing like a Calvin Klien model

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One sarcastic comment and she loses her job.
What a bitch.

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Someone suggested last thread that Phoebe is the kind of person who makes up for the lack of power she has in her relationships by lording her power over her underlings.
Now that I'm thinking about it, you really can easily see it.

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Seriously, somebody out there is making a killing off of Spider-Man merch, and Peter isn't seeing ANY of it.

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So going by the lighting, I thought she had Caucasian skin tones like Namor and Nita.

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Huh, never took Danny to be so intimidating that his mere presence could make someone immediately cease all commands and agree with him...

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Oh, so they have a "hypnotic ray", although he's still a lot more aggressive than Danny was.

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Holy shit, it's Ka-Zar!

What's he been in lately? I feel like I haven't seen the Savage Land in years.

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>Her brother ruined a man's entire life before offering him a million dollars to divorce her

Remember that she saved this man from shooting himself in the head. I swear, the more we see of him the more she should've let him do it.

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Oh hey, I wondered where he went after the Roxxon nonsense.

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Yeah, it hasn't come up this thread, but Namor can't fly anymore. He doesn't have his little wings.

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Huh, that was a thing that happened.

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This is kind of fucked up when you think about it. Like, imagine if every theory about Lockjaw being an inhuman who mutated into a dog, and you'd get this.

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Man, even Namor is surprised by this shit.

is namor just for gay guys?

why is everything that happens in the ocean super boring?

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>>84530803
He's also for people who want to see a pissed off superhuman just fuck people up. If someone gives him shit for being a filthy mutie, he'll fly right down to them, punch them through a wall, and then fuck their wife while they watch. He's a glorious asshole, and that's why people like him.

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I want a textless version of this cover as a fucking poster for my room, this is amazing.

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... I feel like this shouldn't work.

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>"I am not here to ask permission, I am here to tell you I am going."

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I kind of want to know what Steve did to convince the government that Namor could own what used to be a living person.

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This is not one of your better ideas, Namor.

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If you really loved him, you would've told him about your brother's evil plan, you bitch.

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Why do you hate Namor again? I mean you got into this shit because you got bored, but then you picked a fight with Stark. Deal with him first.

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You probably wouldn't be so controlling of your sister if you could just get a girlfriend.

>>84531028
He totally could buy a girlfriend if he wanted. You know he's creeping on his twin because she's him but with tits and as a narcissist that makes her his perfect woman.

>>84530952
Well it sounds less like he's owning him and more like he has custody of him.

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Halfway through the issue, and FINALLY we're going to the Savage Land!

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NINTEEN PAGES IN, AND WE'RE FINALLY IN THE SAVAGE LAND

>>84531102
>Dorma has the mind of a small child
DAMMIT BYRNE

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>"Stay, Griffth, Stay!"
>"Good boy!"

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Flaming fist strong enough to hurt Namor?

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Huh, so that happened.

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All right Anons, see you tomorrow night for the end of the Savage Land story, and we unwrap the mystery of "Danny Rand"!

>>84531197
Good night!

Namor is my spirit animal.

>>84529090
I'm digging this costume

>>84528591
Roy isn't the only one.

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>>84529652
"disagreements"

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>>84529314
>ywn douse her legendary fires

>>84528477
The first thing he did after Bucky brought him back to life was look her up, but she had already remarried so he decided to let her keep thinking that he was still dead.

>>84538396

>>84532807
>"On all levels except physical, I am Namor."
>"IMPERIUS REX!"

>>84540472

>>84529493
Why does Byrne hates androids so much?

>>84544766
autism