Serenity thread part 4 Volume 8; Featuring Jesus?

>>78435598
Now as anyone who's read the old testament knows, God was a bit of a dick.

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>>78435625
And the captcha ate my example. Or was it god?

>>78435625
Well, He did kill a group of children with two she-bears for teasing one of His servants for being bald...

>>78435625
That's an understatement.

>>78435672
I send the swarm, I send the horde
Thus saith the Lord

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Never noticed before, does it say God id love on the wall?

Oh fuck I missed this comic

Merry Christmas, /co/, love you guys.

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>>78435698
Again, Serenity's mom delivers the sickest of burns.

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>>78435699
Jesus loves you too, no matter what you think of him.

>Uggh, BIBLES!

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I always got the impression that God loved the idea of humanity, but free will, enhanced by knowledge (Thanks Adam and Eve), made us like an undesirable child that didn't turn out like he wanted.

>>78435820
Reading the bible cover to cover is the quickest way to become an atheist.

>>78435598
>that purity test
>Rocky Picture Horror Show counts as a burlesque show
>I'm less pure for having watched it
what

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Gotta get those feet in there. Also, whaddya mean it ain't "real"?

>tfw out of all the people that posted their Purity Scores mine was the lowest

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Are you ready for some L337 5P34|<?

>>78435879
|\|0

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>>78435845
You filthy degenerate! I bet you kiss girls too faggit!

>>78435844
Its got some really interesting stories in it too. Like women lusting after hot donkey dick, or infanticide and cannibalism.

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GOD PUNISHES YOU FOR YOUR LACK OF FAITH HEATHEN!

>>78435933
If you were to strip away the mysticism and write it in layman's terms, the bible is terrible book to have children read.

Holy shit, #236 on the purity test:

>...had sex with someone not of your own race?

I though this was a Christian thing, not a /pol/ thing.

>>78435845
Ok, I can see where Rocky Horror would make you less pure. I mean, I know that that sultry Dr. Frank N. Furter almost turned me gay.
But Burlesque shows are a lot of fun. I went to one at a comic book convention once, open bar at the back too.

>>78435845
>Holding hands is impure
>Thinking about anyone sexually is impure
>Having your ass fucked is impure

There's just no winning here

>>78435987
>Thinking is impure

>>78435877
Mine was... 64% or somewhere there about. What was yours?

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>>78435964
/pol/ and the fundamentalism of Christianity, and monotheism in general are close bedfellows.

A little ironic isn't it? Tim talking about earthquakes? I like to imagine Serenity's not talking about earthquakes in the second and third panels.

>>78435999
>Being pure is impure, since God wants you to have children so you can teach them about him

>>78436009
HAH! you impure slut you were lower than me
I was 69%

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>>78435999
It took the power of reverse Satan to grant you this knowledge my son. Enjoy your newfound wisdom.

And maybe lend some to Kim, Tim just said Earthquake movie.

>>78435879
>>78435888
glad the worst it ever got for me was alt-number text for my msn name

>>78436024
Hey. If you're married and have sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation and don't enjoy it, you can remain pure.

I was pretty unimpressed with the first couple volumes

I dunno if it's the art upgrade or whatever but I'm actually starting to like this

>>78435698
>Saith the Lord

Get your shit together, James.

The worst thing about the purity test is it's made me realize I'm getting less action than the people who take purity tests.

>>78436108
you need to download the patch for New King James

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>>78436068
I've got a handy trick for it, just picture god or Jesus' face the next time you have sex with someone. It cancels it out, or so I've been told.

>tfw 95.4 in that test

Welp, wizardhood here I come.

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>>78436124
At least it means you're going to heaven. Where you can continue to not get any action for all eternity.

>A chance to torture my little brothers?!

>>78436133
What if you're having sex with someone who looks like Jesus, or is named Jesus? That can't be impure, right?

>>78436171
poor jesus look alikes can never get laid without hurting someone

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What do you think Kim writes in her diary?

>Dear Diary, I caught Lori looking at me weird again, Derek says just to ignore it.

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>>78436213
and what Tim? What are we going to do after school?

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>>78436213
Wow Tim, your room looks completely different. Is that a sperm poster on your wall?

>>78436271
>Tim accidentally opens his Asian and trashy girl porn folders

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This will solve everything, close-ups?

>>78436161
>95.4
How the fuck do you manage that
I'm a kissless, girlfriendless virgin, and I got 86.6

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No Tim, that's not...no.

How long until fatty snaps again

>>78436351
Tim, now's not the time to brag about how your dick's proportionate to your body size on top of having the black racial bonus

>>78436336
Because you held someone's hand, you colossal slut

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People apparently used to go around poking each others eyes out. Also >Women judges in ancient middle east.

>>78436404
>women
>allowed to speak in public
>allowed to even exist in public

>>78436404
>>78436351
IIRC it was actually Hammurabi's code that set out prescriptions for shit like this.

>>78436039
What makes me the most sad is that MOST of what made me "impure" was all done with the same girl. Back in high school. Since then I only get laid once every few years.

>>78436463
>getting laid
baka

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Old Testament says god will wreck you if you go against him. As in your family will be turned into salt and meteors will rain down on the land, crushing and burning all in their wake. That'll teach you to have sex with rocks that have god's face painted on them!

I feel like this is very relevant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bar3GOzDNzg

Good ol' brad neely

>>78436485
Well, as a non-theist with secular humanistic leanings I laugh at your holy books!
Grew up Mormon though, so I had extras.

>>78436578
>tfw atheist raised by parents who didn't want to influence my religion at all so no churches or anything religious
I feel like I should be doing more debauched acts

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>>78436559
The sad/amazing thing is, this is 90% accurate to Sodom and Gomorrah. Only it makes Lot much nicer than he was in the original story. The whole dance with the stick and everything.

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>>78436578
>>78436615
I went to catholic school for 11 years, communion, confirmation, the whole shebang. And seeing how little belief any of the people in my supposedly religuous school had, combined with reading the bible and seeing how messed up the old testament was and how the new testament was Jesus fanfiction... I mean I get that people need religion or they'd have nothing and that would suck for them, but it's frusrating when people can't reconcile the message and the literal interpretation of what they're supposed to be following.

>>78436512

Why is Lori second in line?

>"It's for giving me impure thoughts"
>"How would we even do that"

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>>78436691

>>78436691
>and how the new testament was Jesus fanfiction
Like I said, I was Mormon. Still technically a Priest in the LDS church too.
Anyway, we liked the bible so much, we wrote our own fanfiction too!

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Cover up you whore!

>On holiday with family
>Women can't enter old churches because of bare arms
>This is enforced by the nuns.

Like pottery.

>>78436691
Really the only way I've ever read the bible is in light of historical materialist analysis, Kautsky has some pretty neat stuff to say about the origins of Christianity, some of the best stuff he's written.

>>78436769
>can't see her tits spilling out of her halter top
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Is this still being made?

>>78436822
No, it ended years ago. The Author wants to do more though.

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>>78436710
Lori's mad at Serenity for tempting her with her wicked ways and sultry body.

I just came for the BAD END

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>>78436822
I wish. Given how it ends and what the author said it would be incredible.

>>78436813
I hadn't thought about it until you said it, but yeah, boobs right through the straps and no blocking the neatherregions.

>>78436801
I love /co/ bible threads. We treat God as just another cape hero. Powerlevel discussions are fun.

>>78436404
>not knowing who Deborah is

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>>78436834
where can I give him money for more?
because I would its been a fun read so far and with the former artist current ability, holy shit man holy shit it would be cool
because I need more

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I'll never get why they think she looks like a clown.

>>78436947
>The circus is in town
How cliche.

>>78436930
Maybe you could convince him to launch a crowdfunding project to self-publish more comics. Of course, that's assuming that the right's to it aren't tided up with the original publishers.

>>78436271
I see time put that weight back on

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>>78436920
I'm just poking fun and eyes. But she was the only female judge mentioned in the bible. Women don't get it too good.

>>78436914
Looking into the ins and outs of angels was the most interesting part for me. Their true forms are horrific gigantic monolithic beings covered with thousands of eyes, writhing and spinning incomprehensibly, so much that you'd die to look upon them.

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got 89.2%

I've only kiss a grill in my life and masturbate often

was boring answering no to all sex and fetish questions dou

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Thanks grandma!

>>78436463
same here
except for the getting laid part

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>>78437046
I really would if someone could knew how contact him

>>78437097
>Not dressing up
>To be in the presence of the greatest being in the entire Universe?

Fucking casuals.

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And now I present: Serenity in the bath, wearing only that hat.

>>78437046
>>78437119
Outside of these threads, who else even cares about this? We've probably given this comic more attention than when it was published.

>>78435964
I know right? I'm mixed race so that apparently means Jesus doesn't love me. Well, I at least I can still do crystal meth at Christian raves.

>>78437068
>Good friends
Well she is in for a surprise...or did we already pass that scene?

>>78437046
Probably wouldn't get much support honestly. Most of any following seems to be here on /co/ than anywhere else.

>>78437122
>Bare shoulder
L-lewd!

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>>78437155
Oh we're getting there.

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HA! Serenity work! Good one right guys! Fuck these assholes

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Can you guess the gang by their outlines?

>>78437155
tsk while you not wrong we should at least try
if things like QC can live off fumes then god damn it this should get a bit more life too

>>78436947
Does she really look that goofy?
I thought it was pretty /fa/sionable
Maybe lose the hat and/or neck tie

>>78437220
"friends"

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>>78437269
Anyone want to ask /fa/?

>>78435960
It is interesting though

>>78437220
>I have never laughed at my friends

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Yeah Kim, don't be so Jello.

>>78437358
J-E-L-L-O... It's aliiiiiive

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>>78437343
She worked a part-time job, got clean, goes to prayer club and church and did all the work with the others on the movie. Also, there's the "f" word again.

I just went though that purity thingamajig.
88.8%.

Supportin this thread and hopin for another dl link. Mediafire's actin fucky for me

>Purity Test
>236 ...had sex with someone not of your own race?

Why would this be distinct from all the other sex questions?

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Serenity's not quite the log rolling champion she thought she was.

65.6% on the Purity Test.

I remember one year, I made it an ultimatum to get the next guy I dated to dick slap me so I could tick that off the list.

>>78437441
there was a mega last thread that worked for me

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>>78437449
It's a fetish apparently, not love for another person because of who they are, but how they're getting you off by being different you filthy sinner.

>>78437491
so that was a yes on the using this test as a check off list question?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yw5jkAHgME

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Fireman Jesus to the rescue!

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Yeah Serenity, what fireman would stick around to see ifthe person they just saved is ok? Or Jesus for that matter?

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>>78437644

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Time to get dirty.

>>78437680
How did she even get all they way out there?

>>78437492
Thanks bruh.
Peace and praise to OP for putting through this shitstorm.

He is a man more apt at putting up with this bullshit than I

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She's Kim, she found a way.

>>78437644
Humankind cannot gain anything by first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.

Truly, a hero, that fireman was, giving himself to the cold, watery void in exchange for Serenity.

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>>78437714
Lori no! Jesus will not forgive these transgressions!

>92.2%
Whats the lowest anyone here has gotten on this stupid test?

>>78437761
This dirty slut >>78436009

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I can't say I'd think much of these kids, brought in for natural disaster relief. But I guess they are volunteers.

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NO TIM!

>>78437816
Serenity is smackin dat ass from a distance

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Wow, what's going on here?

>>78437856
>Mud wrestling to wet t-shirts
Serenity didn't choose the sinning life, it chose her

>>78437856
And there were no survivors.

>>78437714

Shouldn't you be working?

They all laughed at Serenity, but she's literally the only one that I've seen even attempt to do anything useful.

>>78437856
Those smiles make me feel unsafe.

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So everyone is now muddy and soaked. A good day's work! Serenity's got a thing for firemen eh?

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But who was fireman?

>>78437930
Damnit Ito

>>78437930
Jesus will douse the flames of hell.

>>78437930
just a hobo that stole the extra uniform out of the truck
he saw her go in and helped but the booked it out of there so as not to be caught

Hey all :)

Ok guys, it's 4:50 am where I am and my brain needs sleep. The mediafire link in this thread and the mega link in the last thread should give you the means to carry on, but I'll pass out if I stay up much longer. The rest of this volume can be skipped, it's another movie script and not a particularly good one.

Whoever sets up volume 9, may god be with you. Night all and happy christmas.

>>78437190
Holy shit, it's Funky Winkerbean.

>>78437875
Civil rights riots by the looks of it.

>>78437759
>Lori and Serenity's expressions in the bottom panel

Please, my heart. Why can't they just be happy.

WHO WILL CARRY THE TORCH OF THE STORYTIME

>>78437930
Makes sense. If you're going to wear a respirator or gas mask, you can't have a beard.

>>78437977
Hi, glad you're still keeping up the tradition of showing up in these threads.

>>78437998
And a Merry Christmas to you too.

>>78437930
>Jesus literally appears to save a character from certain death

I know that we're already supposed to swallow the assumption that Christians are actually right in this comic, but this is just so blatantly supernatural that it's jarring.

>>78437998
Thanks senpai. Many Chipsass, everyone.

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I was really not expecting a score this low. I'm weirdly proud.

>>78438074

I'd be more active but I'm not at home this year.

>>78437998
Good excuse to finally go to sleep. Guess I'll read the rest in the morning.

anyone have the decryption code for the mega?

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>>78437930

>>78438200
no. I think we need an adult or the bible to figure this out. How the hell does media fire work, I have no problem waiting till the morning to see this all get sorted out, but is the tradition that it's all done in one day?

>>78438243
PUNISHED KIMBERLY.

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>>78438243

>>78438259

You shouldn't need to do anything with these Mediafire links.. they're from my personal account.

1-10: http://www.mediafire.com/?qrj57x1jt22y3jb

7-10: http://www.mediafire.com/?t5ti1h1x1fxtxd8

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>>78438278

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>>78438330

>>78435598
You heathens make me sick mocking this fine Christian comic, you're all going to hell.

>>78438152
>22.5%

>>78438374
>that shirt
I guess you could say that kid really is Charlie Brown.

>>78438374
>WAAIIILLL!
Clearly in distress here

>>78438389
>comic
manga.

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>>78438330

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>>78438493

Is there any place for me to find the email that people were talking about in the previous threads in case I miss it being posted later?

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>>78438516

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>>78438551

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>>78438608

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>>78438665

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>>78438702

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>>78438737

>>78438550
If you saw the plus4chan link, it's in that archived thread.

And we're doing the "movies" this year?
Last few years those were skipped.

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>>78438748
Sorry missed a page!

>>78438764
I actually haven't seen this movie part... which is weird since I thought I read the whole thing.

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>>78438769

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>>78438803

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>>78438823
Tim looking like he's straight outta Brink

>>78438803
AIN'T DAT JUST PRECIOUS?

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>>78438853

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>>78438873

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>>78438885

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>>78438893

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>>78438909

>>78438909
damn that got heavy fast

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>>78438918

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>>78438954

Is it just me, or has this comic gone completely off the rails?

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>>78438966

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>>78438983
is lori supposed to be cammy?

>>78438797
Well yeah, that's because these parts are usually skipped.

>>78438972
This is one of the "movies" the things fatty forces them all to make with him out of pity and his fat rage.

>>78438983
Okay, what the hell is the deal with these edgelords?

Are they also looters? Saboteurs?

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>>78439001

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>>78439025

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>>78439034

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>>78439051
the art has taken such a leap it is astounding

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>>78439067
When is Tinkerbell going to get nominated for best actress?

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>>78439098

>>78439098
When she gets tired of being a green lantern and riding around with blue lantern Optimus Prime while shooting zombies.

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>>78439113

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>>78439145

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>>78439154

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>>78439191

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>>78439200

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>>78439223

>>78439200
So did they just use their super ultimate mega extreme 9000 hours in photoshop skills to make falling cardboard look like concrete?

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>>78439234

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>>78439261

>>78435598
Wow, it's really rare for the annual storytimes to include the movies.

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>>78439261
Even though this is usually skipped for pacing reasons, at least this gives me the opportunity yo post another edit.

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>>78439269
Kim is already a demon

>>78435598
>http://www.puritytest.net/test/500/
>With 70 questions down, you're 98% pure.
JUST

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>>78439313

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>>78439432

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>>78439455

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>>78439468
Charlie Brown is in trouble

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>>78439499

As a first-time reader, I get why these movies are usually skipped. They're not engaging at all.

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>>78439514
This is my kind of /ss/

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>>78439531

>>78439524
Usually, the first one gets dumped because it ties into the plot of that issue. After that, the dumper asks if people want to see the others and everyone shoots it down. This is the first time I remember seeing them.

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>>78439544

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>>78439589

>>78439602
Ah yes, movie guns
Loaded with unlimited ammunition

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>>78439602

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>>78439650

Is the next issue the one about Eddy? That's usually a /co/ favourite.

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>>78439662

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>>78439672

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>>78439681

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>>78439688

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>>78439693

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>>78439701

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>>78439706

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>>78439717

>>78439067
It's nice to know that the author sold just enough copies of Serenity to afford a better "How to Draw Manga" book.

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>>78439730

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>>78439755

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>>78439763

>>78439755
>we didn't hurt any cheap-ass spiders
>but we roughed up some children for shits and giggles

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>>78439772
that's chapter 8. (or book. what is going on)

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>>78439782
Okay, Chapter 9 here we go

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>>78439800

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>>78439813

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>>78439834

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>>78439845

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>>78439868

>>78439800
I feel at ease knowing that I'm reading a Stan Lee approved Christian manga!

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>>78439876

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>>78439893
I took a small peek ahead as to what is in store for us in this issue. And, I think it's going to be quite a ride.

>>78439893
Wait is it time for the I got molested as a kid but it will never be addressed plot or did that all ready happen?

>>78439903
>H-have you ever touched yourself, Tim?

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>>78439903

>>78439876
I love how absolutely horrified he looks by his own arousal.

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>>78439928

oh good, I'm on time for eddie

>>78439950
Everyone is 18 for at least 4 years.

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>>78439950

>>78439950
Hmm, I don't have the edit with 4chan on the screen.

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>>78439959

>>78439928
>"We've all jacked it to feet, Eddie."

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>>78439972

>>78439950
Wait, he watches porn but his fantasies are all really tame? How does that work?

>>78439982
He's not fucking worth it.

>>78439950
>>78439966
It's like they took our lives, and put it in a Christian manga!

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>>78439982

>>78439893
>Inuyasha
What the fuck?

>>78439985
We can't show real fetishes in a christian manga

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>>78439996

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>>78440009

>>78440000
>not fantasizing about being Inuyasha and your waifu being kagome

>>78439985
Maybe we're only seeing the beginning of his fantasies and later it turns to sex.

>>78440000
This was made over 10 years ago.

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>>78440024

>>78440009
Why couldn't he have just stuck with redhead. He was an okay guy.

>>78440000
Remember anon this was made in the early 2000s.

>>78440043
I KNOW *I* AM

>>78440024
>That reason is I want to BONE you

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>>78440043

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>>78440061

>>78440009
>Let him be jealous
That would require him to develop a personality or stop focusing on Jesus.

>>78440029
I guess he requires a complex narrative to achieve orgasm.

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>>78440080

>>78440085
The only way he would be jealous is if you actually fucked Jesus.

>>78440097
You don't?

>>78438516
You are the mothafucking ace of spades, Charlie Brown!

>>78440097
my kinda guy

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>>78440102

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>>78440105
Nobody fucks with the Jesus!

>>78440105
Why did I read that as him being jealous of her for getting to fuck Jesus?

>>78440120
tim so jelly

>>78440097
I identify deeply with eddie
tfw not molested by a babysitter

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>>78440120

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>>78440148

>>78440097
I think the fact that he fantasizes about Inuyasha of all things kind of ruins that complex narrative theory

>>78440120
>>78440148
>Tim giving relationship advice
OH YES I"M LAUGHING

>>78440148
Damn what kind of nigga is he? Not supporting his boy trying to get some.

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>>78440161

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>>78440180

>>78440180
get after it

>>78440180
>condoms
Eddie no! Think about your purity test score!

>>78440180
I would like to take this opportunity to point out, as a ginger, that those are potato chip crumbs, NOT freckles

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>>78440192

>>78440180
Smart thinking with that AXE Body spray!
There's no way she can resist you now!

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>>78440220

>>78440192
Pops knows the game.

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>>78440235

>>78440235
So Serenity totally fucked before right?

>>78440120
god damn it fuck off lardass god damn I hate you you DOUBLE NIGGER

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>>78440253

>>78440165
I get the cultural relevance, but it's so non-sequitur with his other fantasies.

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>>78440264

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>>78440280

>>78440280
Is it okay for Christians to think about hot dirty sweaty sex with people they are not married to and not for the purposes of procreation?