serenity the finaling and after party

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>>78441536

>>78441536
I'm not ready. I'm never ready, year after year, when I take this journey with Serenity. It never gets easier.

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>>78441557

A thankless job, op, but...thanks.

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>>78441564

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>>78441571
>>78441569
its not realy thankless
a lot of people get pumped about it
its just tiring especially when it takes far longer then it normally does
which isnt a shot at other posters i just want to sleep

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>>78441581

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>>78441593

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>>78441596
no words
only tears now

>>78441571
>probably wearing serenity's old clothes
this gets addressed, right?

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>>78441601

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>>78441606
>>78441602
yes it does
there is a certain outfit that was worn earlier that derek is quite fond of

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So now that serenity went full christain kim went full slut. forsaking everthing she had because why? Because she has to oppose serenity at all cost? Now thats a bit contrived

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I need a crossover...

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>>78441617
>>78441618
its becuase she believes that derek thinks she's boring compared to serenity

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>>78441625
>not a challenge

>>78441618
>Now thats a bit contrived

That describes basically everything in this comic now.

>>78441622
She's probably asking you to get high so she can confess her love to you, you frigid bitch

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>>78441633

>>78441601
>>78441606
I NEVER WANTED THESE FEELS.
I WANTED TO LAUGH AT THIS.
LAUGH AND RIDICULE.
NOT TO CRY LIKE A BITCH.
NOT

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>>78441640
SUDDENLY THE RAPTURE
the end

>>78441625
>Derek thinking about anything
Well there's her problem

I've been following this storytime since this morning, and I wanted to say thanks to everyone who's posted it so far. You weren't kidding about this last chapter.

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>>78441611

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>>78441644
TIME FOR SLUTS

>>78441643
yeah thats how most people feel

>>78441654
Derek gets flash backs

>>78441633
>Wow, we treated another human being as nothing more than some sort of project to "fix" to score points with our god because she doesn't fit our standards, and now she's totally broken! She's so weird now that she's acting exactly how we were trying to make her!

>>78441633
>Lori can't lust for Christian brainwashed Serenity

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>>78441654
>>78441650
its not as good without the build up of the whole series
also there are some web comic stuff on buzz's website

also an email which i actually dont have so if someone else is ready to post them let me know

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>>78441665

>>78441644
Cell strolled up to mall

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>>78441669
there isnt a single panel where he isnt checking out his daughter's ass

>>78441665
Holy shit is there a sudden drop in quality on this page or is it just me seeing things

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>>78441674

>>78441674
Church girls are the freakiest in bed.

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>>78441680
>>78441679
inconsistant is a good way to describe the art in this comic

>>78441680
>Paradise
DEEPEST LORE

>>78441679
I think the artist is pulling for the final stretch to finally get it over with as soon as possible.

>>78441679
Nah guy you're right, the art went to shit. NGE ending confirmed

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>>78441691

>>78441622
she probably thinks you're depressed and wants to hang out.

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>>78441696

>>78441695
>>78441696
Omedetou, Serenity! Omedetou!

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>>78441707

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>>78441713

>>78441707
>Friends who care about you

Since fucking when, bitches?

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>>78441696
I WANT HER BACK
CHANGE HER BACK
PLEASE
please come back...

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>>78441718

So again I dont have the emails
but i can give you a basic idea behind serenity

>>78441718
Oh. Oh god more feels.

>>78441713
>Hair dye
But Brown hair Serenity is best girl

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>>78441725
basically in the beginning serenity was the bad girl and the christians were suppose to help her become a better person through out the comic
it was rather generic originally

>>78441727
blue4lyfe nigga

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>>78441734
Buzz decided against it since it was stupid
Instead (and you can tell at about book 4) he decided that it wasnt serenity who needed saving but the youth group themselves

>>78441734
>kimberly's background salt

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>>78441601
>>78441606

>>78441660

Here we see the effects of teenaged peer pressure in action, where a bunch of teens who don't have any idea what's what themselves pressure another teen who's just as malleable, just as confused and just as ignorant as they are into following their misguided example.

>"Don't be yourself, be some cartoonish caricature of your surface impression of what we are, even though we've got no idea how to live our lives ourselves!"

>>78441725
It was in the pco thread...

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>>78441742
according to buzz the kids were idiots who prayed everything away but never came into their problems
which is why we get the lesbian thing and tim's shit
serenity is the only one who activley tries to change
the kids (according to buzz) would have never made it through college

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>>78441757
TL:DR serenity saved them not the other way around

>>78441756
lazy


Also im out now I'm tired its 1:30 im going to sleep
merry christmas even though its not christmas for anyone anymore

>>78441753
>>"Don't be yourself, be some cartoonish caricature of your surface impression of what we are, even though we've got no idea how to live our lives ourselves!"
Oh yes the joys of Highschool

>>78441765
Man, I aint even Christian and this is just a beautiful comic.
Makes me feel warm every single year.
Nice way to wrap up the holidays.

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>>78441765
This final chapter just pulled out all the stops.
THANK YOU.

>>78441765
C-ya ;_;

>>78441718

That's so fucking depressing. The same kids that broke her sense of identity are now dictating a new sense of identity to her because they find the result of their handiwork disagreeable. Maybe next week they'll tell her to take up paintball and she'll meekly comply. Maybe the week after that they'll dictate to her than now she's a christian rapper. Just whatever they tell her she wants, that's what she has to do.

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Time for edits

>>78441765
>>78441770
I think this yearly tradition is one of the few things that makes /co/ feel like home anymore. It's an example of a truly fun comic, and it's made way better enjoying it with all of you.

>>78441765
Thank you for your services, my man

Mary Chrimbo to you

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>>78441765
No
it cant be over, this has to continue
serenity must save us all
please

Well, there were manic highs like Tim slam-dunking Eddie at every opportunity and Eddie's /ss/, and manic lows like Serenity screaming her sorrows about her husk of a soul to god in some bramble on the side of the highway,

But at the end of the day I'm glad I spent this rollercoaster ride of emotions with you /co/, and we all came out of this as better Christians.

Or as fucked up mind-break pseudo-bimbofication loving sociopaths.
Either way I look forward to the after parties later today. Happy Christmas /co/!

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Thank you OP.

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I found the emails
have fun>>78441765

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>>78441691
>>78441696
>>78441707
>>78441713
>>78441718
>>78441725
>>78441734
>>78441742
>>78441757
>>78441765
https://www.youtube.co/watch?v=nTBg4QbbO_4

Every year.

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>>78441820
it is the sleep time

>>78441784
huehuehue
does anyone have an edit portraying serenity as a savior, jesus style?

I thought this was horrible.

>>78441765
And here I was hoping the ending would be brown haired Serenity getting violated by a jealous Kimberly who's revealed to be futa. At least she lost interest in Derrick, that's good enough I guess. Thanks for the storytime dudes.

>>78441765
There was literally no reason for her to become a Christian. She changed her life through her own willpower. She was never given any evidence for God or any answers to her questions. She saw that Christians are not better people than anyone else, and that they have their own flaws. Every single little thread in this story should lead Serenity to the conclusion that just following a religion does not make you a good person, because no matter what path you choose or what you choose to believe, the only true way to be a good person is to put effort into it.

THAT would be a fantastic message. I would have been overjoyed if the ending was Serenity deciding she wasn't a Christian, yet not judging her friends for believing, because they have to chose their own path. And her friends in turn would learn to accept that you don't need to be a Christian to be moral, and that they can't just say "I am a Christian" and be a good person, they have to ACT like a good person.

But no. She's a Christian now. Because Christians are good people. And good people are Christian.

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Huh, look at that.

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>>78441868
He knows about us. And he knows about the porn. And he doesn't really care?

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>>78441825
Yay thanks to all for posting this! It has been a fun storytime!

>>78441536
Thank you very much for storytiming this.
Also for the working DL.
Hope you have (had) a merry Christmas

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>>78441581
>those fucking clothes

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>>78441825
>we never got to see all those peeps going through real life hard shit as serenity provides giudance
im conflicted of wanting to see more, and not wanting to actually see what serenity really became at the end

>>78441877
Holy shit, Dixon is based.

>>78441915
>We will never see serenity cure Eddie's rape tendencies
>We will never see Lori accept the purest form of love
>We will never see Serenity cure Kim's blind love for a cardboard box

This comic is super fun, glad this /co/ tradition is still alive to keep me up way too fucking late.

The creator seems like a pretty chill guy, too.

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>>78441877
That's so based

>>78441877
Oh wow I never saw this stuff. I was at the very first Serenity storytime (oh how magical it was) but I haven't kept up well with the new developments since then.

I'm glad Buzz is a-ok with us wanting to make love with Christian waifu. I actually was kind of feeling bad about it.

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>>78441814
SMUG
M
U
G

>>78441923
>we will never see Tims weight balloon to dangerous numbers as he becomes a director

>>78441581
Go sleep!
You've earned your rest.

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THANK YOU ALL FOR THE STORY TIME!
And... I guess for the Feels...

I wonder how many /co/mrades have been, well, converted by this storytime. Every time it gets posted the last book gets less and less of pic related and more and more of "Oh... that makes sense." I mostly feel that's because of the emails getting posted.

As much as the details of the story itself have really bothered me (yes, I am pretty much every one of the long rants in this and the previous thread, and yes, the implications about Christians exclusively owning morality really do affect me pretty badly), I'm really glad I took part in this little tradition with /co/. I've only really gotten into cartoons very recently, so I haven't been here for previous years, but it really felt like I was a part of something with all the others who soldiered through this epic storytime.

If nothing else, the series does really seem to have an effect on people, myself included, and I'm happy that I got to experience all the twists, turns,laughs, and emotional gut-punches with all of you. I hope that you all have a fantastic new year, especially the kind posters who brought us this little adventure today.

Do you think Christ-chan and Serenity will be good bible buddies?

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>>78441611

Oldfags, veterans of the Serenity threads past, I beseech thee, let the edits flow!

Or at least int he morning. I didn't realize it was already 2 am...

Thanks for the dump, I feel really bad for Serenity, all of her friends, and her mother are horrible horrible people

I think she was always a good person and didn't need to be brainwashed into believing it

Fuck Christians 2bh

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>>78441622
I'm actually really surprised that's never come up before... We need drawfags!
>>78441697
>>78441637
For you

Fug, I should've woken up earlier I could've caught the last few characters

>>78441853
Autism speak.

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I really want to come up with some oc for this comic i mean it is just brimming with potential (especially for /m/shit)

These threads made me get drunk and smoke weed. And I'd have sex too, if I could find a willing partner!
So there Christian Manga! Take that!

>>78442072
Anon, think of your purity score!

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>>78442077
I have no idea why or when I saved a thumbnail...

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>>78442087

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>>78442096
I also have this lying around if anyone wants to use it.

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Here's my shitty edit from the first thread again

>>78441757
Darn if they had Lori show her the jewelery I could've imagined she proposed to Serenity

>>78442082
I'm the one who only scored 64! I have fallen into the depths, might as well go for it all.

So same thing around Easter?

>>78441536
Thanks for the ride.

and no /aco/ exists, the porn can be posted.

>>78442417
Alright, fine. I'll do it.
Here's the porn.
>>>/aco/280552

It's not christmas without a little Serenity. Til next year OP

>>78442358
I always forget the Easter one, but it's fine; it makes the Christmas one feel extra special

Thanks! that was fun

>>78442689
>>78442643
Home Depot, like the store?

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>>78442032

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>>78441765
>>78441757

I already said so in the last thread, but might as well reiterate since the ride is over.
This is my fetish.

Mindbreak, forced appearance changes, brainwashing.
You probably wouldn't see this as the best thing to fap to, but damn if I don't every year.

>>78442724
I think i stumbled onto a thread on plus4chan from 2010 and the explanation just seems to be she has home depot tattooed on her arm and that's it

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Made oc banner.

>>78441601
>>78441606
Why does it never get easier with the years? I feel so miserable now.

>>78441765
>cut to Fly Me To The Moon
Thanks OP

Well that was depressing.

>>78443489
Don't you forget about me always kicks in when I read moments like this.

And i've never even seen the Breakfast Club.

>>78441564
Okay, the girl's pretty cute. Who she be?

Thanks OP, and all the other OPs involved.

Doesn't matter how many times I've seen this get storytimed, it's always great.

>serenity
Oh god, I remember reading that around 10 years ago when it was shitposted on /b/.

>>78441581
/fa/
as
fuck

>>78441765
Thank you for story timing anon. And thank you to everyone who participated. This is seriously one of my favorite Christmas traditions even through I always have great celebrations with my family and everything!

>>78441820
>>78441825
As an atheist, I'm happy to admit that Buzz seem like a quite insightful and good guy and that Serenity actually is a great comic. Don't judge a book by its cover etc.

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>>78442024
OK, but first...

>>78441606
It ran late this year, too late for me to be awake to post the things when the pages were posted.

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>>78444149
Ah, damn. I meant to reply to >>78442023

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>>78441784

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>>78441765
Years after the final chapter was released, Buzz continued the story a little with this.

And every year no one seems to remember to post it except me.

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>>78444196
Who are the mysterious council of elders who control this town?

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>>78444205

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>>78444211

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>>78444214
And that's that.

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>>78442023
Now, which edits actually got posted during the threads this year and which were not?

>>78444205
Probably referring to the Church Elders.

My RE teacher was a member for one of the local churches, basically they help the pastor/vicar/whatever run the church and organize fundraisers and such.

>>78444196
>Zombie Nurse Serenity.

If anything needed art.

>>78444221

Weird. And good. Because crazy town.

>>78444205
>it's a sin to celebrate Halloween
>but we do it anyway and call it something else

So did anyone else read Tim in Cleveland Jr's voice?

Wait, so noone is confirmed as lesbian?

>>78444965
Well, not confirmed but honestly it's quite obvious.

>>78444965
It's pretty clear that Lori has lesbian tendencies but she does not identify as a lesbian.

>no humiliation art of Serenity bottomless in church wearing only her outgrown grade school outfit as a shirt.

Come on pornographers

>>78445991
That's not very Christian anon

Would intensely cuddling Serenity be sinful and uncathloc?

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>>78441536
It's a privilege to experience this tale every time. God bless all the posters who made this happen once again!

>>78446529
I don't get it when people talking about it being a bad end, or it being about indoctrination. Its not like anybody drags her kicking and screaming into a church, she does all that of her own volition.

But then again i've heard people saying the same shit about Kamen Rider Fourze and its theme of friendship. Some people appear to just want every story to actually be dark and deep.

>>78446527
How intense are we talking?

What's the best place to contact the author? Does he still use his DA? I think he'd be happy to know that the annual Serenity dump is still a thing.

>>78446599
>But then again i've heard people saying the same shit about Kamen Rider Fourze and its theme of friendship
How can people miss the point so hard about Fourze?

>>78441765
Thanks OP

>>78441765

Merry Christmas :)

>>78446661
Snuggling.
In bed

>>78441765
Well this was one hell of a ride you guys.

Same time next year?

Thanks Ops & Asrial. Serenity story time is my favourite /co/ holiday tradition.

>>78446599
To be honest, that's the point of indoctrination/brain washing. The character being indoctrinated or brain washed or whatever eventually starts doing the things asked of them "out of their own volition", but it's not really their own opinion anymore.

Thanks OP and Merry Christmas to everyone.

>>78448684
>>78446529

Who draw the line between changing ideas and brainwashing?

Also, its not like the author treats her friends as always being on the right. As showed by the e-mails, the fact that her friends don't know how to deal with their own problens is one of the most important parts of the comic, Serenity is the one with courage to try to change and deal with her problems instead of running away or ignoring, also, its show that they really care about her, and are willing to change their minds.

I just think that people look at it with very cynical lens, or are projecting their bad experiences on it, when the opposite less cynical way is also very common.

>>78448959
You make a good point, and that's where interpretation comes into play.

My original reaction to this last chapter was very much akin to the ideas in >>78446529

But after reading the emails by the author. I think a case can be made for both views. The fact that the author treats her friends as not always being right can also be seen as an ironic commentary on Christianity and indoctrination, especially with how Serenity's "friends" for the most part are terrible people towards her.

I think the point would have been gotten across a whole lot clearer if the comics hadn't been cancelled, but sadly this is what we'll be stuck with for now.

>>78444722
I did. It felt... natural.

>>78444722
I had the same with Eddie after some anon in the previous thread mentioned it, I could just not stop reading him in Dean Venture's voice.

>>78448547
yeah easter to

>>78446487
My sentiments exactly

Anymore edits? These are enjoyable

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>>78451233

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>>78451278

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>>78451285

>>78451293
I don't get it

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>>78451330
I don't think we're supposed to.

>>78451278
Still the best.

>>78451293
I have no idea how you guys come up with this shit but i love it

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>>78451388

Wow, OPs.
Y'all some mega dedicated niggas.

Praise be for you two.

I just...
I don't have a corruption fetish, but this shit is seriously giving me second thoughts about it. I'd be humored to ask to storytime a certain Jack Chick comic abut a similar theme, but...
I feel I'd come short compared to this shitstorm.

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Would /co/ still like this story if it was about Serenity being inducted into a lesbian cult?

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As a fairly newfag who joined along for this ride I must say this is far more enjoyable than I originally expected.

>>78452167
Depends

How far down the rabbit hole do we go?
Is there a nun scene?
Is it consenting or forced?

Even if just two of these are answered, I wouldn't mind reading.

>>78452167
Yes, of course. Is there such a story?

>>78452448
>nuns
They're not Catholic. If you want a double-time nun scene go read Adventures of a Lesbian College School Girl.
It would be more like they would shun Serenity for liking Derek, and hide dildos in her locker and shit.

>>78452488
Not to my knowledge. I wrote a LorixSerenity fanfic like five years ago, but I don't have it saved. It might be on of of the pco threads.

>>78452167
Is this even a question?

>you will never rescue Serenity from her shitty friends and be there for her so she doesn't have to force herself into believing a lie

;_;

I'm so bitter

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Forgot I had this. Enjoy /co/

>>78453164
>believing a lie

Something something fedora.

But seriously Christianity, no matter your thoughs on it in the real world, genuinely improved her life in the book.

>>78452741

Yes. Perfect.

>>78453241
well it's a bit unfair, they sent their main man JC for the assist during the whole river drowning thing, it clearly left a positive bias on their favor

>>78453342

If you genuinely have reason to believe JESUS HIMSELF directly saved your life, it would be stupid not to become a Christian, as you have tangible evidence its true.

>>78453434
The point is the author had to throw in a literal miracle to sway her

It's pure bullshit

I think one of the most realistic parts of this comic is that even after Serenity becomes a Christian, she still feels empty inside. I feel like most religious comics gloss over that part and make it sound like if you just go to church and pray and shit your life will be fulfilled.

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>>78455495
So the moral is be yourself but pray for jesus

>>78441718

I don't usually dye my hair. What probably happen if you bleached it and redyed it a completely different colour TWICE in the space of, I'm guessing, a week or so?

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>>78455599
Not to be That Guy, but is there an un-censored version, or was it drawn like that?

>>78455667
I had a friend who fucked her hair doing that.
it looked like straw

>>78455777
Just search for Serenity_Harper on rule34(dot)paheal
I find it there

>>78455752
Uncensored is on Paheal.

Kinda tempted to pick these up on the cheap off Amazon just to have them as a joke for shelf threads. I don't suspect reading them would be nearly as fun without /co/ around.

>>78442024
>I think she was always a good person and didn't need to be brainwashed into believing it

She was pretty petty, spiteful and vengeful in the beginning.

You can argue that she didn't need Christianity to fix that, and that anything that could help with her feelings of being unloved and worthless would have done it, but y'know.

>>78446599
>Its not like anybody drags her kicking and screaming into a church, she does all that of her own volition.

Wellllllllllll

In the first issue, the kids decide that Serenity's going to be their pet project without consulting her, they refuse to go away even when she makes it clear she doesn't want them around, and they (deliberately or not) drive away the people she'd prefer to hang out with. In other words, they isolate her from her other peers so that they can continue to push their doctrine onto her - classic brainwashing behaviour.

She clearly picks it up and starts running with it, though, to the point of surpassing them around the point at which she starts asking questions they've clearly never bothered to think about. But the first step was clearly not voluntary on her part.

>>78444214
>>78444211
>>78444205
>>78444196
You know... Buzz is a pretty cool christian. A rarity to be sure, but he's cool.

>>78456948
>A rarity to be sure
Nah, you just rarely hear about the good ones because they're not really newsworthy. This is as opposed to, say, conversion camps, molestation scandals, WBC, etc.

There's tons of good churches, church elders that do great things for the community, pastors with perspective, and generally cool Christians out there. This is coming from a guy who's an atheist from birth.

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>>78441765
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHTg_rJy2mk

>>78455752
Yeah, in the /aco/ thread. Not colored though.
>>>/aco/280571

>>78441784
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Bix44C1EzY

>>78442643
>>78442689
i didnt think anyone had saved any of my old, shitty art from past serenity threads.

I like that the broke her down completely
Told her all the things they didn't like about her and made her change them. And then made fun of her when she did and then "let" her be herself again but now under their total influence.

>>78441581
>Hippy Pirate
>Skate Punk
>Little Girl Playing Dress-up?

>>78457296
Wanna re-do them/make more? I'll save those too, I like them.

>>78441601
>>78441606
tfw i've been there

>>78441654
okay as much as the others were at least they matched
nothing in that outfit goes together

If they had ended it before she dies her hair back to blue, then I'd totally agree with the whole "Brainwashing and indoctrination!" stuff people have been clamoring about. But with the "It's still OK to be you" and the Buzz Emails, I'm not so defensive about it.
I mean, Serenity IS much happier and HAS improved her life a lot. I don't know how much of that is her converting, and how much was her changing her life herself, but we should all agree that she would not have headed down the path of improvement if she had not been the "pet project" of the bible thumpers.
Though I do wish there had been a more... moderating? Is that the right word? A more moderating non-Christian presence. Someone who was perhaps a secular humanist, who believed in doing right to your fellow man just because that's the right thing to do, or something similar. Just something to show that not all non Christians are like the harpy teacher.

>>78455752
Goddamnit, pixel brush always gets me hard.

>>78457678
The author makes it clear that morality is impossible without religion via Professor Claw

>>78452167
I started writing something for this, but it's kind of slow burn and I'm not sure if I'll finish it. Should I post it here?

>>78456160
you'll probably get a lot of 10/10s for it
but yeah i have 2 of them and its funner to read it here
nice to have on a rainy day when you have no power

>>78458191
Go for it senpai, I'm interested.

>>78457903
which is weird given that professor claw is a huge dipshit
i mean no offense to buzz (god i hope claw isnt a self insert) but almost nothing the claw says makes sense or is an intelligent remark

>>78442044
>OH JESUES! OH JESUS!
gotta a hearty chuckle out of me

>>78458191
Same as >>78458496
do it up desu

>>78458625
>>78458496
Do we still have word filters up? And what are they?
>>78458534
Yeah, I hate everything he says.

>>78458648
tb.h = desu
f.am = senpai
s.mh = baka
c.uck = kek

I like it, it cuts down on shitposting

>>78441674

She's in trouble for wearing a spaghetti top?

>>78444205
oh dang
Serenity really is rubbing off on them
Still not rubbing Lori off though

>>78458733
she's in trouble for dressing like a huge slut

>>78458733

Just look how her dad reacted when he saw her in >>78441593. He probably called her the "whore of Babylon" at least once when they got home.

>>78458674
I'm not even sure what the two middle ones are even supposed to mean.

>>78458814
thats a weird page though
>you are only wearing that around the house, right?

thats just bad wording

>>78458825
Black people speak
/pol/ and shitposter affiliates use it ironically
those of us with less than stellar acquaintances use it thanks to cultural osmosis.

>>78458825

The first is short for "family". It's like "bro". I heard it originated in the California black community.

The second is short for "shaking my head".

>>78458757
>>78458814
>It's only okay to dress as a huge slut around the house where I can see you, young lady

>>78458850
I use desu and senpai without the wordfiltering. I like it desu :3

>>78458850
>>78458957
I've never seen either of those two used on any of the boards I visit...
Are they really prolific enough to get a word filter?

>>78458625
>>78458496
Ok dawgz, incoming chunks.

The morning bell rang, signalling the beginning of a new school year at James A. Madison High School. Most students were already seated in their classrooms, hands crossed in prayer. A few latecomers leaned against their lockers or milled about in the cafeteria, waiting for the morning announcements to finish.
Through the frosted glass window of the principal's office, a blue and red blur could be seen slouched in the hot seat across from principal's desk. It was 8:00 a.m., and Serenity Harper was already in trouble.

"I believe every pupil deserves an opportunity, Miss Harper, but you already blew your second, third, and fourth chances! One more and you're out!"
"Then let's speed things up. Cram it."
"Don't try getting expelled on your first day! We'll make an effort--but you must, too!"

"Stupid school! Buncha fucking dorks," Serenity mumbled, as she grabbed her schedule and headed off to find her first class.

"Hey, are you lost?"
Serenity turned around in time to see a trio of students approaching from behind. Some wannabe cool guy with bleached spiked hair and a soul patch, flanked by a tall girl with long, navy blue hair, and a hulking black dude.
"I'm Derek, and this is Kimberly and Tim."
Serenity glanced at the speaker's hoodie. "Prayer Club? Oh no! Not bible bangers! I want no holy roller frados dogging me! Got a rep to maintain."
She skirted around the corner to let the burn sink in, taking a peak to get a second look at blondie. "Derek looks mighty fine," Serenity thought to herself. She grinned. "Y'know, it just might be fun--to reel in a choir boy."

>>78459142
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUlrXJ6P9q0

>>78459216

The next day, the prayer club moved into action. Sally got the ball rolling by sneaking up on Serenity just as she was leaving her locker.
"Bad news, Serenity. You're really going to hate this. You are our new pet pet project! No matter how obnoxious you act, no mater how crude you talk, we'll still be your friends."
Serenity could do nothing but stare at the petite black girl, eyes wide and her mouth agape in a silent scream of horror.
The others chimed in one by one. "That doesn't mean we'll tolerate rude behaviour or wrong doing, but if you need help or somebody to talk to, we'll be there. You should think about coming to our prayer club on Friday night."
*bang*bang*bang* By this point, Serenity had gotten over her initial shock and was now smacking her forehead against her locker, muttering ,"Why me?" over and over again.
"Maybe we should let her think it over..."

By Friday evening, Serenity had already settled into a routine of getting into small altercations and dodging the numerous attempts of the notorious prayer club as they seemed to hound her wherever she went. They were so relentless that no one else in school could even stand to be near her, assuming she was some kind of snitch who'd already been assimilated by the Jesus borg. Since all of her old friends were still in L.A., here she sat at home, clipping her toenails and watching the new Angry Dead single on MTV.
"In school one week and already six notes from your principal!?!?!"
"Hey, I'm trying to concentrate." Serenity paused to scowl at the technicolour nightmare that was her mother.
"They'll jail you again..."
"I am in jail--you're the warden!" Serenity threw the clippers across the room, making her way toward the front door.
"Come back here! Where do you think you're going?"
"Out!"

>>78459241

Not three seconds after the door slammed behind her, Serenity realized her mistake.
"Oh no! Moron--you just locked yourself out! No keys, no money! It's freezin', but I can't go back--Mom would have to let me in. I don't want her gloating! Can't go anywhere... got no friends... can't go back..." A warm yellow glow caught Serenity's eye. "Huh, Kimberly's church." A poorly written sign out front stated, "YOUTH GROUP TONITE." "I don't wanna go... but they did invite me... and it's warm! Nah--why hang out with a buncha bible banging losers? 'Sides, I'm not dressed--they'd laugh at me... or get offended..." A michievious smile lit up Serenity's face. "That's it! If I tick 'em off--they'll never bug me again!"

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud..."
"Yo! Youth group?"
"Welcome. You're Serenity, right?" The man who had been reading stood up to welcome her, smiling. "My daughter Kimberly mentioned a new girl. I'm pastor Calvin. Where's your bible?"
"Don't own one."
"No bible? We can't have that! Here, take this one."
"In Corinthians..."
"What's a 'Corninthians?'" Serenity whispered to the girl beside her, whose name she remembered briefly was Kimberly.
"Try the New Testament."
"What's a testament?"
"Paul speaks to us about the nature of love. Who can tell me what is the purest form of love?"
"The love between God and his people?"
"Close, Tim. Anyone else?" A tomboyish girl in the back with a ponytail raised her hand. "Yes, Lori?"
"The love between two girls?"
"Excellent--very good Lori!"

>>78459270

Serenity, who had until this point not been paying much attention and rather envying the hair of the girl next her, choked on her own saliva. "Wait, what?!"
Derek, who was sitting on her other side, slapped Serenity on the back a couple times to clear her wind pipe before she could breathe.
"In the old testament we learned that Ruth loved Naomi as Adam loved Eve. While Ruth had to marry Boaz in order to bear children, she and Naomi experienced the most pure form of love, not given to the lusts of man, which is what Paul is referencing here."
"But like... aren't men and women meant to be together?" Serenity made a circle with one hand and poked through it with the index finger of her other hand to emphasize the point.
"Yes, but only for the sake of procreation. Only two women can experience true love."
This revelation was confusing to Serenity, who granted did not know very much about the bible, but who had never heard any street preachers in L.A. rave about lesbians.
"But what if I don't feel that way about other girls? No offence, but I like the D." Serenity emphasized the last letter, taking a side glance at Derek.
"How do you know? Have you ever tried making love with another girl?"
"Well this one time I got high and made out with some other girl at a block party... Wait--why the fuck am I telling you this? You guys are messed up!"
"Watch your language, Serenity. This is the house of the Lord." Pastor Calvin stopped to look at the clock. "Looks like it's 8:30 now--we'll have to pick this up again next week."

>>78459216
>It was 8:00 a.m., and Serenity Harper was already in trouble.
already like this start desu

>>78459299

"Well, Serenity, your ideas certainly were... uh.. interesting. Your fashion sense is intersting too." Kimberly grinned, stopping to look at Serenity's bare feet.
"I locked myself out with no shoes."
"How will you get home?" Pastor Calvin asked.
"Maybe Derek can give me a ride."
"We'll give you a ride."
"--But"
"I insist," said Kimberly.
Serenity gazed longingly at Derek, but he was already halfway out the door and she didn't want to walk back home without shoes.
*Sigh* "Fine."

On the drive home, Serenity broke the silence. "You must hate my arguing."
"God loves you as you are... He just wants your full potential. As long as you're willing to listen, there's hope."
"Hope? My life's a jooke that I'm not in on. Nobody cares!"
"God cares."
"That's the biggest joke of all."
"See you next week?"
"I'll think about it."
Serenity was more confused than ever. Something about the conversation in the car had touched a nerve, and reminded her of her loneliness.
Taking a deep breath, she rang the doorbell to her house. "Boy, is mom going flip when she hears I went to church." Serenity grinned. "It might actually be worth hanging out with these freaks just to piss her off."

I can't wait until all Lori's repressed urges break at once and she rapes Serentiy during a sleepover.

>>78459324
Thanks senpai .

>>78459329
That's all I got for now. As I said, slow burn. Not sure where to take it next because there's lots of irrelevant shit in the story, like the money stealing thing and dumpster babies. Let me know if you guys want to read more.

>>78459429
I am intrigued.

Not sure if the thread'll last that long, but I'll read more.

>>78459429
I'd like to read more of your stuff desu

>>78459469
>>78459478
Thanks, if the thread dies, any continuation will be on the /pco/ thread or the /aco/ thread.

>>78459629
>/pco/
what's that senpai?

>>78441707
>>78441713
>>78441718
If only real christfags were this based. My family is not at least.

is it Easter already?

Also this comic always makes me feel oddly nostalgic for my old church days

>>78459695
We do it both Christmas and Easter!

>>78459642
plus4chan.

>>78459695
outside of the terrible dialog like DAWGS and GLUTTEN UP its actually not the worst depiction of teens
there is a lot of genuine teen moments in this

>>78459857
Well, for OUR generation anyway, and only just.
If this was remade for today, smart phones, texting, and the internet would play a MUCH bigger factor.

>>78441622
I remember reading those in Nintendo Power and thinking about her burning that other person over ads.

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>>78460119
>>78441637
>>78441697

Ok, all the time I've been on /co/ I've watched these this story time come and go but never bothered reading it.
Do we do this ironically or is this actually good?
Also, is it worth reading?

>>78461070
yes

>>78461070
its actually good
yes its worth reading but you should wait till easter when its storytimed again
reading with /co/ is half the fun

>>78461214
>>78461366
Wait really?
I thought this was cringe.
Now I need to read it.

>>78461430
its badly drawn with some stupid dialog
the first couple pages goes something like "yo scope the new tassle" "oh no i wont hang out with a bunch of bible bangers" "yo dawg we just got dissed"
you know like normal teenagers
but its a genuinly gripping story and the 4th book is when shit really starts getting real and stops being a generic BE A CHRISTIAN story

>>78461430
It starts off as laughable and cringe and then by the end you realize you actually cared about it. That's why it became such a cult hit on /co/

>>78460222

>you will never smoke weed and have gay sex with tcc-tan.

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>>78460222
Dammit, I don't even smoke, but I fucking love Stoner/Hippie chicks for some reason.

>>78461731
I assume it's the laid back attitude and the... what's the opposite of aloofness? Approachability. The approachability of them.

>>78461825
That, and I don't mind the dirty/"natural" look.

>>78462603
Eh... I don't like dirty myself. I mean, sure, yeah a woman after a long day of hard work is sexy. But the "I haven't washed in two weeks to be closer to nature" thing is revolting.
I also may not mind pubic hair, not my favorite thing but by no means a deal breaker, but please ladies, keep shaving your legs and armpits.

>>78459329
Got some more for this. I doubt anyone's reading right now, but I'll dump anyway.

"Preserve wildlife--pickle a squirrel. Cute, Sally. Your idea?"
"A pun that bad? Of course it is!"
Serenity stood overlooking Sally's table, observing a mason jar filled with some loose change and dollar bills. "Collecting for your church?"
"Nah, this is for the animal shelter."
"You have any pets?"
"Yeah, Tinkerbelle. She's an Arizona--"
*BBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG*
"Groan, another fire drill."

"All classes, this is a drill. Go to your assigned locations."
Sally moved the money jar to the floor. Turning around, she began the task of dismantling the table as groups of students began filing past on their way outside.
"Worry about that later, Sally. Fall in for the drill."
Reaching out her hand behind her, Sally felt nothing but the cold tile of the floor.
"Hey! Where did my money go?!"
***

"How much was in your jar?"
"Fifteen bucks, maybe more. It wasn't mine--it was the shelter's!"
"Who was with you?"
Sally crossed her arms and stared evenly across the desk into the eyes of her principal. "Serenity Harper."
"Why am I not surprised?"

>>78464460
Serenity was nonplussed to find herself once again in the principal's hot seat.
"How come I always get blamed for something?"
"Your repuatation precedes you."
"That doesn't mean I'm a thief! Go ahead, search my locker!"
"I did! You're lucky I found nothing--otherwise you'd be arrested!"

Serenity stormed off in a huff. She could hear kids whispering about her around the halls.
"There's that skank, Serenity!"
"I hear she's a thief! Who needs her?"
A single tear flowed down Serenity's cheek.

Derek suddenly appeared in front of her. "We accept your story--this time--but only because we're giving you the benefit of the doubt."
Sally and Kimberly each gave Serenity a hard look, not appearing as generous.
"Don't do me any favours!"
"We're not! You can fool people, but not God!"
"What-e-vah!"
"Derek, stop defending her!" Kimberly turned on Serenity. "I almost wish you are guilty, so you'll be expelled outta here!"
Serenity whirled around and walked off in a huff. Behind her, she could hear Derek and Kimberly arguing loudly.
"Hmmm. Kimberly keeps Derek on a tight leash. He may wanna roam. Hooking up with him may be easier than I thought!"
***

"Derek, the prayer club said if I needed help to ask... I'm flunking algebra. Could you come to my house after school and help me out?"
"I promised Kimberly..."
"Oh, I understand. I thought you meant it when... never mind."
"Uh, is it ok with your mom if I come by?"
"Oh, it was her idea. See you at 4?"
"Well if it's to help you..."
Serenity turned, hiding her grin behind her textbook. "Gotcha!"

>>78464479
Serenity stood in front of her closet, pulling out the skimpiest items of clothing she could find and trying them on.
"Derek may be a Christian, but he's still a boy--and when Serenity Harper wants a boy--she nails him!" Serenity checked herself in the mirror, observing the effect of her midriff-showing halter top and jean short cut-offs. "Course, Derek is so clueless he might not carry protection--but Ms. Baxter gave me some some so he won't have that excuse." *DING DONG* "Showtime!"

"Hi Derek"
"Hi... uh... you changed."
"Yeah this feels more comfortable. Y'know... looser..."
Derek looked around uncomfortably. "Where's your mom?"
"She's working late... real late... C'mon, sit." Serenity gestured to the spot next to her on the sofa.
"Where's your algebra book?"
"...Musta forgot it."
Derek stood up. "Look, I better go."
"Hey! You just got here! Afraid the prayer group might say something?"
Derek clenched his fists. "No, 'cuz nothing's gonna happen. You know how I feel about heterosexual relationships outside of procreation."
"I don't remember anything from youth group against practicing."
"I'll spell it out for you. C-ya, C-ren."
"They'll never know! What's the harm?"
"God will know. Are you asking me to cheat on God? Anyway, I've already promised Kimberly that I would be her partner. Are you asking me to cheat on her too?"
"I got cheated on, I didn't whine."
"Now you're getting even by hurting innocent people? That makes no sense."
The engine roared as Derek took off in his car.
"Loser!" Serenity screamed. But it was no use; Derek was already gone.

>>78464492
Serenity walked back inside, slamming the door. In her frustration she kicked around a bunch of crap that was lying on the floor, managing to stub her toe in the process. After hopping around in pain for about a minute, she found herself back in front of the mirror. She placed one hand against the smooth glass, closing her stinging eyes. "Slut."
"How could I have been so stupid? He hates me now! He's going to tell everybody at school that I'm a skank! Nobody will ever love me! Even Derek couldn't stand to touch me!"
***

By the time Serenity woke up, it was already dark outside. Shifting around in her bed, she heard the distinct rattle of change from the stolen money jar she had hidden. She wasn't just a slut, but a thief too. She could hear the words of her classmates and the principal's warning echoing in her head.
Serenity had counted the money earlier, and found only seventeen lousy dollars and thirty-seven cents. Definitely not worth getting arrested over. Not that anyone had proof, but she was already the main suspect. Despite hating school, she didn't want to end up in jail again. She knew kids from her old high school in L.A. that had gone down that route, and she knew that out here in Buttfucknowherebibleville there was no way she would surivive on her own. Her mother had already made it abundantly clear that she wouldn't be welcomed back if she slipped up again.
Sighing, she groggily wiped the sleep from her eyes and picked up a sweater that had been tossed on the floor. "I won't get any sleep until I resolve this, so I better take this shit back."

>>78464529
Several hours and a few mishaps later, Serenity found herself sneaking into, of all places, the prayer club.
"Uh, Hi. You said I could come by..."
"Our door is always open."
"I just wish the window was --pee-yew!"
Serenity shifted nervously. Her clothes were stained and smelled like garbage from hiding outside in the dumpster all night. She had fallen in and was forced to stay put in order to avoid the cops, after the principal almost caught her breaking and entering while returning the money jar to the office.
"Thanks guys--uh just came to say hi. Gotta go." Serenity, ran out of the prayer room as fast as she could, leaving a cloud of stench in her wake that caused most of the prayer club kids to start gagging.
"Something smells fishy in here," Sally thought, "...and for once it isn't Lori."
***

"Derek, what happened yesterday? Why did you cancel out?"
"Something came up. Nothing I want to talk about, Kimberly."
"Why, what happened?"
"Truthfully and honestly, nothing happened--so let's leave it at that!"
Derek glanced down the hallway towards Serenity as she was picking up textbooks for her next class.
"Did something happen with you and Serenity? I heard she asked you to tutor her."
Derek sighed. "I think she's slipping, Kim. She asked me to her house yesterday and started coming onto me."
"She what?! If she touched you, I swear--"
"Nothing happened! I didn't let it. But something needs to be done about her. We can't let her interfere with our mission."
"I'll speak with Sally. She seems to be particularly good at pressing Serenity's buttons. If we want to save Serenity, we're going to have to cure her of this unnatural lust."
"Good idea. I just hope we're not too late."

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This traditionally gets posted at Easter too, right? I'm looking forward to it. Maybe I'll help with the story-timing if I'm not busy.

>>78464552
"Hey! Serenity! I want to talk to you about that missing money jar!"
Serenity spun around and covered Sally's mouth with her hand. "Shhhh! Want people to hear?" She whispered. "You got it back, didn't you?"
Sally removed Serenity's hand and looked up at her smugly. "Yeah... but Principal Parker doesn't know who took it. If she finds out..."
Despite the chilly temperature, Serenity was starting to sweat. "But she's not going to find out... is she?"
"You tell me. There is a logical suspect who reeked of guilt! " Sally winked.
"I didn't do it! Nobody saw me. You can't prove a thing!"
"Attending prayer club that day was like wearing a big 'Guilty' sign! But... start attending regularly, then maybe you don't look quite so guilty."
"You're blcakmailing me!"
"Black femaling you, actually. But you get my point."
"Ok, every now and then."
"Twice a week, minimum."
"But--"
"No buts about it. See you tomorrow!"
***

Later that night, Serenity lay crying on her bed.
"Everybody hammers me--'cept Derek. He hates me! He'll never love me. I'm a loser with a big hole where my heart should be!"

>>78464563
yeah every easter
always a fun time

>>78464575
"Let us discuss--"
"I'm not late, am I?" Serenity peaked nervously into the nearly empty classroom. The youth group she'd attended at the church had been weird to say the least, and she had no idea what to expect.
"Uh, not very, no... Find a seat a seat and join us," said Derek. "Sister Sally, how many offerings did you make to the Lord this week?"
"One... and a half."
"A half?"
"There was some... resistance. I'll try to better."
"See that you do. The Lord requires your full efforts." Derek glared at her, emphasizing the last word. "Sister Lori, how many did you manage."
"Five. One behind the chapel pulpit just this morning."
Sally rolled her eyes, and muttered something that sounded like, "Showoff."
"Sister Kimberly?"
"None..."
Serenity could barely her her. Kimberly looked more fragile than usual.
Derek reached over and gently took Kimberly's hand in his own. It's ok, Kim. I know you're trying. The Lord works in mysterious ways. In his time, he will grant you the power to revolutionize the world."
Now Serenity was really confused. What did they mean by offerings? Was she expected to offer something too?
"I saw two girls making an offering in the back of the bus. Then I made an offering in my pants."
"Uh... that's great Eddie."
Serenity giggled. Derek glared at her, which silenced her pretty fast. She looked around. No one had reacted to Eddie's joke. On the contrary, everyone seemed really serious and intent.
"Anyway, let's move on to some scripture..."

>>78464597
This is all I have for now. Not sure if I'm going to continue this tonight. Thanks again for the story time.

A little while later, the bell rang, signalling the end of the period.
Serenity caught up to Eddie in the hall. "Eddie, you're a practical guy... You believe this mumbo-jumbo?"
"I do. Why come if you don't?"
"Call it an invitation I couldn't refuse..."
"Answer my question: why bother with this praying and offering stuff? What do you get out of it?"
"It's not about getting what you want--it's getting right with God."
"I'd rather get what I want."
"Well, there are certain benefits..."
"Like what?"
Eddie glanced nervously over his shoulder. Sally was just a few feet away, watching them intently. "You should ask Sister--uh, I mean--Lori for advice. She knows a lot more about this stuff than I do."
Serenity didn't know Lori very well, but from the times they interacted in class she seemed nice enough. Definitely not as weird as some of the other kids. "Thanks, I'll do that."
"Hey Lori, wait up!"

>Serenity's christian adventures will never continue

>>78464654
Eddie you kinky motherfucker

>>78459629
>if the thread dies
This thread will not die

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I made a shitty edit. Don't have as 1337 photoshop skills as Tim sadly.

>>78466139
Good idea for an edit though.

>>78464563
We need to save this for the next time we get to make banners.

>>78464683
but would there be more adventure with Serenity after she got a comfortable grove into christianity or follow a new project atheist

>>78467534
Obviously Serenity has to help her friends with their problems.

>>78467547
so would that be Tim's one panel introspective about being a lonely fat fuck, Eddie being raped as a kid and Serenity completely blowing past it or Lori's closeted homosexuality?

>>78465823
This thread lives on forever!

Someone just posted over a dozen more pictures in the /aco/ thread.
>>>/aco/280552

>>78467851
betcha Lori wasn't even going to be a full carpet munch but rather bicurious or whatever

Nothing good ever happens in a Christian manga, only suffering

>>78466712
Thanks senpai

Jesus, I just finished reading the whole thing. I was here when the first thread was up and said I haven't read this shit.

As someone who grew up in a Christian family, I immediately disliked Serenity's "friends" and the belief they spouted to her. Eddie is best boy though.

Goddamn, I didn't expect to be emotionally invested.

>>78467851
Eddie isnt entirely a problem though
yes he has problems with his sexuality but he is dealing with his problems like a smart person unlike everyone else
he wasn't hiding it him and serenity had a conversation about it and he's in the same situation as she is in terms of the group

>>78469740
No one ever expects to become emotionally invested, that's part of the appeal.

>>78469752
Really, nobody who was originally in the prayer group is a good person. The only good people in the comic are Eddie, who is part of a different church and isn't really part of the group and Serenity.

Which is why Eddie is best boy

>>78469820
>used goods
>best boy

>>78469752
>Eddie isnt entirely a problem though
I agree. I expected him to hang out more with Serenity since they seem to have a lot in common.

Fuck Tim and Kimberly. They seem to be the worst of the group.

>>78469771
For real, dawg. I thought I was just gonna laugh and cringe the entire time. Didn't expect to be teary

>>78469870
>Implying Eddie isn't the only real friend Serenity has.

>>78469870
Go away, Tim.

>>78469884
Kimberly isnt as bad as she seems honestly
while yes she is a huge bitch she has every reason
her boyfriend thing is constantly being harrased by another woman and while she is a pastor's daughter she is probably the most level headed
what with actually calling an ambulance to help serenity and on top of that she is the only one who doesnt really beat the thought of her being a christian into serenity

>>78469870
>used goods
Nice meme

>>78469870
as opposed to who?
derek? tim?

>>78469820

It's worth mentioning that, other than Serenity, Eddie's pretty much the only one that's suffered actual trauma or had to overcome any serious problems.

I suppose Driftwood Derek may also count because he almost died or whatever, and he's technically nicer than most of the others because he lacks the personality or agency to be overtly cruel to Serenity.

>>78469926
I like how she sometimes realizes how un-Christian she acts at times and acknowledges that she isn't perfect. But even with those moments, she still goes back to being a catty, jealous, untrusting, coy bitch that she is. I'd argue she's like Serenity, only that Serenity learns in the end, and Kimberly is better at putting up appearances and continues her "holier than thou" thinking.

Her fucking trust issues with her boyfriend will be like a bomb that will affect everyone around her. Worst girl.

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I'm impressed every year y'all do this shit. Merry Christmas.

http://strawpoll.me/6376212

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>>78470089
>18.6
Jesus christ, what did you do, anon? Better yet, what did you not do?

>>78470089
T-that's kinda on the disturbing side of impressive.

I'm 62%.

>>78470089
What sick goddamn fetishes are you even into anon?

Which comic does the "Lori is a lesbian" meme come from?

>>78470184
The author outright stated she was when asked.

>>78470184
>I need to repress these thoughts
>Fish tacos
>Word of god
It's pretty obvious anon

>>78470222
>>78470200
No I mean what's the specific issue where it becomes really obvious.

>>78470222
>>78470200
>word of god
really?

>>78470265
4th book lori asks serenity out and serenity didnt take the hing
then lori drops her spaghetti
>hey serenity you want to go to the rave with me
>sure
>really? you don't think its weird going with a girl?
>yeah its not weird, we're just friends after all
>heh, yeah.

I'm back and I finished the final chapters. I tried to keep it blue board safe. The lewdest parts are basically copied from the bible. Hold onto your butts /co/.

>>78464654
"You can't be fuckin' serious!"
Lori met Serenity's gaze. "Why would I joke about that?"
Serenity looked up at the various posters and pinups hung up along the walls of Lori's bright pink bedroom. A V for Vendetta poster featuring a shaved Natalie Portman took up prime real estate above the bed. There were some random pictures of WNBA stars and scantily clad women tacked up that looked like they'd been cut right out of Sports Illustrated. There were also various clippings of female tv stars from newspapers and magazines, including Alyson Hannigan, Angelina Jolie, and Halle Berry in a skin-tight catsuit. There were even pictures of comic book characters, like Harley and Ivy, and some asian-looking stuff covered with moonrunes.
She was careful to look anywhere but in the direction of Lori's bottom dresser drawer, where Lori had just returned the large, ornate box that Serenity had balked at. As soon as Lori had shown its contents to her she's wanted to run away, but Sally's warning and the thought of prison kept her planted to the floor.
Serenity hugged her knees. "I don't think I'll every understand this stuff."
"Prayers and offerings are our way of communicating with the divine."
"What's the difference?"
"Prayer is something you do alone, by yourself, usually in a quiet place. Offerings are something that we present together, in worship."
"But what's the point of all this? How is this different from when guys... y'know..." Serenity made a fist, shaking it rapidly up and down a few times for good measure.
Lori frowned. "Have you ever heard the story of Onan?"
Serenity shook her head.

>>78470447
"In the bible, Genesis chapter 38 tells us the story of Onan, whom God commanded to lay with his brother's wife, in order to peform his duty and raise up offspring. However, Onan shirked his duty, wasting his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother's wife. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so the Lord took Onan's life also."
"Wow. Harsh."
"Yeah. Women on the other hand don't produce seed. We ovulate, but it's basically automatic. There's no conscious thought behind the act, and therefore the process remains pure, untained by conscious desires."
Serenity scratched her head. "I guess that makes sense... But why would God give us desires in the first place?"
"To test us, and to allow us to prove our worthiness to Him. God made mankind perfect and without sin, in his own image. However, when Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, their eyes were opened and they felt ashamed."
"Yeah, but---"
"We're not puppets, Serenity. God never intended for life on earth to be permanent. Imagine that the world is a giant egg, and each of us is a chick inside. If we--the chicks--cannot break out of the shell, we will die without ever being truly born and experiencing the true life he meant for us with him in heaven."
"Isn't reading the bible and being a good person enough?"
"No, Serenity. Only through prayer and offerings can we ever hope to gain the power to revolutionize the world."
"Yeah, but c'mon. All this Jesus stuff? You don't really believe all this, do you?"
"Well... maybe I can't explain everything, but I believe. That's why they call it faith."
"What are you? A philosso - philas - philicio - deep thinker?"
"No," Lori winked. "Just a deep feeler."

>>78470475
"I'm more lost and confused than ever! 'Pray,' they tell me. How?!?! Can't somebody show me a map or turn on a light or--" THUNK
"Serenity! I'm sorry! I didn't know you were outside!"
"'Skay Mr. Grandy..." said Serenity, rubbing her nose, which had been smacked by the opening door. "You're a Christian--can I ask you a question?"
"Ask away."
"What is the purest form of love?"

"Mr. Grandy!" Ms. Baxter yelled. "You've been warned before! You can be severely disciplined if you practice religion during school!"
"I can't talk about religion at school--separation of church and state. But... if we both step on the sidewalk..." he motioned Serenity over, "...we're off school grounds."
Ms. Grandy scowled. "Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do, Mr. Grandy. I know all about you Christians and your 'prayer club.' Do what you want in private, but know this--men and women belong together, as Darwin intended. I'll be sure Principal Parker hears about this!" With that, Ms. Grandy turned around and stormed off toward the school.

Serenity turned back to her teacher. "This is all so confusing, Mr. Grandy. What's praying all about? How does one even make an offering? Is there some specific ritual?"
"Your questions are valid, Serenity, but I'm not sure there's much help I can give you. All you need to do is find a quiet place, and say what's in your heart."
***
Later that night, Serenity got down on her knees. Wiggling around a bit to get comfortable, she slowly lowered her hands. "I think this is the way they do it on tv."
"You left your--????? What in God's name are you doing?"
Serenity quickly grabbed the comforter off her bed and pulled it up over her lap. "Uh--nothing! Just looking for something under my bed!"
"Does this have something to do with those new kids you've been hanging out with at that prayer club?"
"No! Well, maybe... What's it to you? Since when do you care about anything I do?"

>>78470520
"Serenity, I'm worried about you. At least in L.A. I knew you were doing normal rebellious teenage things, like drinking and smoking pot. But ever since you joined that club I don't know what you've been into. I found these weird Japanese comics in your drawer, and all I hear from you at night is strange chanting about eggs and love."
"They're not comics, mom--they're Christian mangas--and they're dedicated to the purest form of love!"
"I think you've cracked!"
"You don't understand me, mom. Get out, and leave me alone!"
"Fine. But don't think this is over, Serenity!"
After her mother had left, Serenity let out a sigh of relief. "No privacy here, better go out."

Arriving at the park, Serenity found a densely wooded area. After circling around once to make sure there were no peering eyes, Serenity knelt down. Once again, her hands began to roam. "No thunderbolts. So far, so good."
"Dear Lord, make mom stop hammering me. Help me score Derek and stifle Kimberly, if it--uh--pleases you," Serenity's breathing hitched, as the tempo of her gestures increased. "...and make me popular! Gimme a killer bod--and money, and... and..." *Sigh*
Serenity paused. "You're not gonna give me any of that crap, right? You don't answer selfish prayers. If you did, everybody would be happy."
"I guess that's what I really want: to be happy. To stop being scared other people will find out I'm lonely. If I pray for just one thing, I want to be happy. But you're not in the "happy" business. I'm not sure you exist. But if you did exist, would it hurt to make me happy?"
"Ah, forget it! This prayer stuff if useless!" Serenity wiped her hands on her camo pants and stood up. She looked to the heavens once more. "Even if you exist... would you ever listen to me?"

>>78470520
>Serenity doesn't know how to masturbate
0/10 dropped

>>78470546
*BRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG*
"You never run that fast in gym!" Lori teased.
"The best part of any test is leaving it behind."
"Yeah--until next week!"
"Do you always have to piddle on my parade?"
"I'd actually like to piddle on your--"
"Hey Lori! Serenity! I saved you a spot!" called Sally from across the cafeteria.
Lori headed for a nearby vending machine. "I'll get us some drinks."
Serenity leaned over the table, in time to see Sally attempting to stuff a bunch of loose papers into her bag. "What have you got there?"
"--Uh--nothing."
"Riiiiiight--" Serenity grinned, "--and I'm on the honour roll! Gimme!"
"No!"
"What is it?"
"Sumthin' I downloaded off the internet."
"Lemme see." Lori, who had meanwhile snuck up behind Sally, grabbed the stack out of her hand."
Serenity watched as Sally's face morphed from horrror to embarassment, while Lori's shifted from placid to bug-eyed shock. "Lemme see! Lemme see!"
"A purity test?" Lori glanced sideways at Sally.
Sally snatched the papers back. "Yeah, what wrong with it?"
"Did you pass?"
"It's not that kinda test!"
"Lemme see! Lemme see!" Serenity chanted. She attempted to snatch the papers out of Sally's hands, but Lori was too fast.
"Have you kissed a member of the same sex today?"
"Gimme!" Serenity, in a burst of frantic energy finally seized the papers from Lori's hands. Her eyes skimmed the page until she found the answer to the question Lori had asked. "Yes?!?!?"
"Well... I kissed my mom good-bye when I left for school this morning..."
Serenity and Lori doubled over in laughter. "They don't mean your own family!"

"Hey girls, what's up? We brought the gluten," Tim waddled up to the table, bearing a tray filled oddly with nothing but assorted breads and pastas. He was flanked by the remaining core members of the prayer group.
"Look what Sally found on the internet."
"Derek quickly scanned the paper in front of him. "A purity test, eh?"

>>78470570
Can't show that on a Christian imageboard.

>>78470582
"How does it work?" asked Eddie. "Highest points wins?"
"I wouldn't calling it 'winning,' Eddie." Derek read off the paper. "Ever seen a girl naked? Ever held hands with a girl? Ever gotten a shot, just so you could--whoah, this is lewd! I'd answer yes."
Kimberly gently touched Derek's arm. "But that was then. You're clean now!"
"Ever want someone you're not supposed to? That answer's yes!"
Serenity grabbed one of the extra copies of the test, which were starting to circulate around the table. "Wait--this test's both what we do and what we think?!?! No fair!!!!!"
Eddie looked forlornly down at his copy of the test. "Want to do that... and that... and especially that while wearing an Inuyasha costume... Guess I'm not very pure."
Lori piped up, "Jesus said thinking about something is the same as doing it. That's why we must keep our minds pure, as well as our bodies."
"That's not entirely accurate," Tim replied. "Thinking good thoughts isn't the same as doing good. Jesus said lust in your heart is the same as actual adultery."
"There's a difference between a single stray thought and what Christ said."
"Right! 'Casue if temptation or a single stray thought was a sin--that would make Christ a sinner, 'cause he was tempted."
"You're treading a mighty fine line."
"Of course Christ wasn't a sinner--but his friendship with Mary Magdalene--"
"Will you knock it off!" Serenity, stood up, exasperated. "This is what I hate about you Christians! You make everything so sassafrasin' complicated!"
"We do, don't we?" Derek looked a bit sheepish.
"Look Serenity, everyone is tempted sometimes. But you're not supposed to dwell on it. You just gotta keep praying."
"Thanks Lori--I guess." Serenity grabbed her copy and headed towards the library, to do some serious thinking. "I wonder how mom would do on a test like this..."