JSA Storytime: Dark Avengers/Parkerbolts

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>>78107811

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>>78107871
Pastebin of regulars: http://pastebin.com/0jKyyDvj

the big Santa thread went craaaazy today!

this page is delightfully meta

>>78107811
>Marvel Now trade dress
Not really sure who it was marketed towards, but definitely not people who go through back-issue bins.

>>78108090
It's a pity it's covering up a nice Iwo Jima parody. Compared to the contemporary JLA one, the fuckers.

Those memepool covers from Marvel are pretty painful.

>>78108090
It's very ugly yes

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>>78107912
btw I am this close to finding and drinking the cooking wine, tonight

>>78108152
Those vintage memes. gag me with a spoon, the game...in 2015?

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>>78108167

>>78107811
Hello Storyteller.

>Karla in the Binary outfit
While I'm vaguely aware that Moonstone is a Ms./Captain Marvel villain, I have no idea what the context of her wearing the Binary costume is. Considering it's Karla, I can only imagine it was to fuck with Carol.

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>>78108152
Memepool? I don't even want to look.

>>78108191
there's a joke on it later :D

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>>78108209

>>78108209
>>78107424

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>>78108227
what the actual fuck

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>>78108246
okay, I laughed at Sad Keanu Strange

>>78108246
Somebody's dad in marketing discovered the internet.

>>78107912
So is this really Tony Stark?

My memory may be faulty but he was there when Ragnarok showed up for the first time right?

And since this is after Siege, Didn´t Thor beat him up because of it, when he came back?

>>78108209
By the way, has Karla met or interacted with Kamala at all?

Or has Marvel forgotten all of Carol's rogues like DC forgot about Diana's?

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>>78108270
"no, put me down AND die!"

>>78108282
I wasn't aware Carol had rogues

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>>78108278
We alternate universe, bro

>>78107912
Evened out my gifting.
Two on this list, two over in the main thread haha

>>78108270
Sad Steven is alright, but I don't think it's cool to sell shit on the back of Keanu's actual sadness ;_;

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>>78108290
dat Karla face

>>78107811
he y t hread

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>>78108303
commercializing memes is iffy

>>78107811
Best time of the day is flanally here

>there's a dark Cap on the team
Wut? Captain Canada? Captain Mexico?

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>>78108327
oh look it's Clea

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>>78108331
you'll see

>>78108290
Ah my bad, Never mind then,

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>>78108356

>>78108287
Oh, I'm sure she does. Writers never botther to look up a character's rogues unless they've been done to death.

>>78108290
>third panel
>giving no fucks at a hulk screaming in your face
I love you, Karla.

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>>78108372

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>>78108395
Hank is pretty oh exploitable here

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>>78108411

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>>78108425
so how bad is Bendis' HUGE RHODEY STORY going to be?

yeah, put the sociopathic biochemist in a lab like that, great idea

>>78108425
Oh boy, so this Pym is Tony's secret private blowjob slave.

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>>78108459
Pretty much!

Everyone in this universe is fucked up in some pretty entertaining and metacommentary-related ways

>>78108454
I love this bitch already.

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>>78108474

>>78108340
This Clea gal... does she usually guess like a pride parade dominatrix, or is this alternate universe shenanigans?

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>78108487
oh look it's time for AVENGERS ARENA

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>>78108541
>>78108529
Bit of Column A, bit of Column B

>>78108541

>Avengers Arena

Haha, good times.

Still <3 Deathlockette

>>78108541
>AVENGERS ARENA

What a year

>>78108541
Never understood the point of having a joint lettercol/thing for a bunch of different titles with different stories.

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>>78108597

>>78108327
>for once I wish Satana was here
Don't lie, Karla. You know you love her.

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>>78108620

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>>78108676

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>>78108690
>>78108642
If this had more fans there would be /34/, wouldn't there

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>>78108707
m-m-m-meta!

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>>78108724

>>78108676
>>78108690
I see Parker's of the "being Janet is (undue) suffering" camp. Thank goodness she does well in mass media adaptions, bitch is getting title credits and everything.

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>>78108738

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>>78108751

I really want a map of how the heroes divided up NYC

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>>78108762
that's the woman we know and love

>>78108724
It's because you're the best Carol, Karla. You need to suit up and troll Kamala sometime.

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>>78108774

>>78108774
>like I've been exiled
kek

>>78108707
>If this had more fans there would be /34/, wouldn't there
Probably, yeah.

For what it's worth, as a yuri-fag, I can think up some scenarios. Satana introducing Karla to hr paradise zone, and all the succubi looking like Songbird, for example.

>>78108793
That's too easy, it's already canon that Satana can turn any situation into instant porn and/or /d/. in a perfect world, there would be all the thunderbolts futa I could dream of

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>>78108784
>>78108778
I don't know what Kamala would make of her

>>78108724
.... Is it wrong that I think Karla looks mighty delicious in the Captain Marvel outfit? Because if it is, I refuse to apologize for it.

>>78108778
That really does need to happen. Poor Kamala won't have a single clue why this bitch is messing with her.

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>>78108844

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>>78108855

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>>78108868

Ben turned into that guy from Planet/World War Hulk

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>>78108880

>>78108724
>she cosplayed as Carol for past boyfriends
I'm really not sure how to feel about this.

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>>78108899
also guys holy shit >>78096296

>>78108844
>Karla wants to be hardcore, but Kamala won't let her
Kamala would lord Carol over her, Karla would do Karla things and make Kamala go haram.jpg, and somehow Kamala would wrangle her into doing good shit and be smug as fuck.

I figure that would be good for a oneshot or a mini.

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>>78108904
I think it's more of a joke on the whole Bendis rehash of Ellisbolts but with less style that had Osborne's Avengers with her in it all Ms. Marvel style

>>78108915
Still no book yet OP

>>78108947
The bit Takeda drew was exactly as uncomfortably erotic as it was supposed to be. That Carol/Karla fight was brutal as fuck.

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>>78108947
>>78108962
ino :(

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>>78108976
Bless her heart, she's a dirty dirty woman

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>>78108995
USAGENT
S
A
G
E
N
T

>>78108979
>spider-sized al apec

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>>78109009

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>>78108995
I'm 0% mad that she normally flies under the radar with her (light) ero guro.

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>>78109052
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAgnJDJN4VA

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>>78109055
That cover made some people maaaad, IIRC

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>>78109082
FIX EVERYTHING is, of course, Hickman Reed

with Andy the Awesome Android

>>78108287
The X-Men absorbed Mystique and Rogue when her series got cancelled.

>>78109082
It did, but it passed and occasional-readers have mostly forgotten. Same as some of the other risque stuff she's done, including the hardcore Carol beatdown, because nobody reading Cap read Ms.

>>78109109
Same thing happened to Orion

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>>78109102

>>78109009
Gracious, he was already scaring the piss out of hardened felons while crippled. Now everyone who opposes the warden is proper fucked.

I hope John doesn't have some kind of complex about being a not-Cap, cause he seems like the type who would scarcely give a shit.

>>78108915
Dropped once I saw it didn't include best boy.

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>>78109123
I'VE GOT MY OWN BOOK, TOO

>>78109114
ain't that the truth

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>>78109127
USAgent can roll pretty fucking hard, but I think he's mellowed over the years

>>78109137
This page is Parker as fuck.

>>78109082
I wish I could remember that

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>>78109159
This entire arc is Jeff Parker taking the piss at the current state of Marvel canon

>>78109102
>Reed Richards
>fix everything
Even Ben knows that's a total misnomer. How sad.

Though I must admit, I would totally read a mini or something about the day to day of Mole-King Ben Grimm.

>>78108340
Where's her crazy horn hair?

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>>78109185

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>>78109215
:(

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>>78109224
The lettering on Trickshot's daaaaamn is great

>>78109224
This is less funnier than I expected

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>>78109137
>Lord Demonpimp
....

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>>78109240

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>>78109250

Did any of these characters show up after the title ended?

>>78109158
>Infidellll!
Tiny Aepec a cute. :3

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>>78109268
the Captain Marvel costume really is nice

if only the book were as good

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>>78109275
Some of them were in AXIS, I think

June Covington was in the Avengers Assemble arc that KSD and Ellis did together

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>>78109293
>>78109282
he's a fucking riot tiny

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>>78109304
So, is Robinson SS gonna be any gud?

>>78109158
Omg I wanna pet it

>>78109315
Maybe.

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>>78109315

>>78109315
The Namor Scapegoat Squad is questionable in its motives.

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>>78109330
Parkerrrrrr

>>78108784
>New York is literally the only place to live
Heh.

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>>78109343
absolutely

Shouldn't Hyperion basically wreck Namor one on one, easily?

>>78109315
You know, Namor has a perfectly valid point.

Earth is like 80% covered in water and we honestly know less about the bottom of our own ocean than we do outer fucking space. That's kind of pathetic.

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>>78109388

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>>78109400
You can see who's the badass fucking leader on this team

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>>78109411
oh come on they killed the Torch for like less than 15 issues

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>>78109420
so how are you owls?

>>78109429
Having a panic attack,just took some meds to see if they help.

>>78109345
>Never understood why everyone was so fixated on this place.
Same. New York is ridiculously overrated as a setting.

Why the hell is Namor of all people coming off as the reasonable one? This alt universe is even more fucked than we thought.

>>78109429
Mostly good. Is there an omnibus of this? Or at least of Parker's run?

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>>78109443
hope that helps, anon, take care of yourself

>>78109429
Insomnia

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>>78109452
Nope, just trades that are probably OOP

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>>78109491
>>78109485
I long for sweet sleep after this afternoon

>>78109429

AVClub's "books you've read this year" sent me on a list making book spree. I had to make myself stop. wanna get into good fantasy/sci-fi after reading asoiaf this year

Also read Virgil, fun little pulp tale. Light but good. Loved the coloring.

>>78109400
>>78109411
Based warden.

>>78109429
Pretty good. I have received a very large calzone that I suspect will make up at least two more meals over the next day or two.

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>>78109502
Parker, btw, wrote a bunch of Marvel Adventures Fantastic Four, which is fucking great

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>>78109514
I read a lot of sf/f, I can probably rec you, especially epic fantasy

yes, I love 12-book series and shit

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>>78109516
om nom nom

I am craving tex-mex

>>78109429
My mom sent me a care package full of snacks. Smoked octopus is the fucking best.

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>>78109545

>>78109536
You're kinda moody ain't you Ben?

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>>78109559

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>>78109565
he's had a bad run of it

Probably not as bad as Janet!

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>>78109588

more?

>>78109536
Different anon, but my enjoyment of fun fiction hedges heavily on how gay and/or filthy it is. But the gayest thing I have is Richard Morgan and that is not enough (/lit/ hooked me up, at least).

Does something else in * fantasy match my extremely specific taste?

>>78109588
As if Janet doesn't already suffer enough.

Shat on by nearly every writer ever, being fucking dead in the movie, Ultimatum....

>>78109536

right now i'm looking at N.K. Jemisin and Joe Abrecrombe. but i probably won't be able to get started on any until after xmas/new years.

i just need to find a good book site to browse and read about stuff. Books seem like such a commitment I need like back research and shit to make sure I'm getting good stuff

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>>78109623
Hmmm. Can't think off the top of my head, but that's something where self-pub could get away with more than mainstream would let through.

>>78109612

>Hell's Kitchen
>Not Daredevil territory

C'mon!

>>78109676
>>78109662

i knew i spoke too soon

>>78109394
>Earth is like 80% covered in water and we honestly know less about the bottom of our own ocean than we do outer fucking space. That's kind of pathetic.
To be fair, what if there's something scary down there?

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>>78109657
I absolutely hated Jemisin's Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, but her recent Fifth Season is a serious leveling-up in skill, if extremely grim.

I've never managed to get into Abercrombie, weirdly, but that's to say I haven't tried

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>>78109731

>>78109662
Oh well. I feel like somebody in the generation of Dragon Age slash writers is going to break through eventually, by sheer force of numbers. Morgan's more indulgent than most, but I'm spoiled and I want more.

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>>78109758
I will ask around for you!

>>78109662
>talking about knock-offs
>dem BatEars on DD
I love you Parker

>>78109710
Then they damn well better put those extremely expensive, top of the line nuclear-powered submarines and high grade torpedoes to use. The fuck are we paying you taxes for?

Cthulhu got rekt by having a boat shoved into his belly. If you meet the high priest down in the depths, blow his ass back to Ry'leh, and tell him to save high to Davy Jones while he's down there.

>>78109789
Implants, ha. I get it.

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>>78109789

>>78109789
Thanks. I'll be around, I'm a regular, but what an odd question that would be.

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>>78109834
no prob

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>>78109867

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>>78109878

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>>78109896

>>78109825
Oh, Shang-Chi. I like you better than Karate Kid by default, and that's a horrible place to be in.

Speaking of, I did some thinking after the end of TTVFH: I think Amadeus is the only pan-Asian lead the big two is even running. I'm counting Indians and Pacific Anything, and shit's dire, I think we only have X-men and Katana left and those muggas are fukken dying.

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>>78109911

>>78109913
Katana's combo mini with Deadshot is coming in a couple months

but yeah the lack of Asian heroes is pretty sad

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>>78109913
Katana's getting an upcoming mini, at least

but that's sad.

>>78109949
>>78109913
Ryan needs to make a comeback

>>78109949

Oh this reminds me

Did all those minis announced a few months ago get folded into Legends of Tomorrow?

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>>78109981
Seems like it's an antho book now?

That worries me. 80 pages but $8 is a lot

I think our cover budget on this series went down from where it was, too

>>78109981
Katana is coming bundled with a Deadshot mini, Swamp Thing and Poison Ivy are still separate minis, LOT has Metamorpho, Sugar & Spike, Firestorm & the Metal Men

I think Wolfman's Raven is the only one we haven't heard further about yet

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>>78109951

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>>78110007
PARRRRKERRRRRR

>>78109981
>Legends of Tomorrow
>LOT
When'd this get announced? I mean the repackaging/bundling, not the original announcement

>>78110007
>That worries me. 80 pages but $8 is a lot
It's an odd format, you'd think separately four minis would probably sell more than one oversized anthology would

at least they weren't just cancelled outright like I was assuming they were going to do to Sugar & Spike at the very least

>>78110013
If they get a relatively known artist, I think the Raven one could stand on its own pretty well. She's probably popular enough to not completely bomb like the ones put in anthology.

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>>78110024

>>78109911
>>78109927
Oh Karla. Storyteller predicted I'd waifu you. Dammit.

>>78109913
>>78109949
I'm sure there's a reason there's almost no Asian superheroes, but it's inevitably retarded, so whatever.

>>78110034
Today

http://www.comicbookresources.com/article/dc-comics-launches-legends-of-tomorrow-anthology-series

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>>78110045
those scamps at AIM

>>78109979
We need Ryan, Kimiyo... Shit, I'd take a retooled Cybernary.

Fuck that, bring Shadow Cabinet back, they were the best international 90s team. I could wax nostalgic about them for days, they're Ellis' Stormwatch/Authority but with lower stakes and better character development.

>>78109913
Cass is another one but who knows where she'll end up after BRE is over.

If she, Steph, and Harper don't get a book together then I'll be baffled.

>>78109809
>Cthulhu got rekt by having a boat shoved into his belly.
you're triggering me. The boat passed through him like Cthulhu was made of mist. Then squiddy checked the stars, realized he'd woken up too early, and went back to bed.

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>>78110059

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>>78110107
LOL

>>78110042
yeah, probably

I wonder if they looked at Starfire's decent sales and reception and are considering retooling it to make her a smidge closer to TT Raven

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>>78110127
MORE META TIME

>>78109951
>AAAAHHHHHHH!

>>78110059
I should've known A.I.M was behind this. The only plausible reason for setting up all this bullshit is for SCIENCE!!!

>>78110078
>Kimiyo
For real, why the fuck isn't she Dr. Light again yet? The set up for it seemed pretty clear but then nobody did it.

>>78110138
I'm normally wary and annoyed of movies and the like taking over comics, but comics Raven is just so shit compared to her cartoon version.

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>>78110151
If only E2 hadn't been pissed away we'd at least have qt brown Steel, too

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>>78110138
TT Raven is less awful than TT Starfire, they'd never do something that sensible AND execute it right.

>>78110138
I would be 100% okay if they made Raven more like her cartoon version if they brought the idea of the emoticlones over into comics

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>>78110177

>>78110177
PTSD Steel, Sonia with 0% stereotype bullshit (sadly, less Damage-kun, but I'll take the dignity), random Sandman #23, motherfukken Khan-- THE ONLY SIKH IN COMICS.

Soooomebody decided to fuck all the minorities besides the Kryptonian.

>>78110107
Iron Fist, you're the worst friend.

>>78110127
Notice they keep avoiding June's codename? Hard to blame them. What was she thinking?

>>78110179
TT Starfire is so bad. The naive alien shtick is so annoying. At least the last issue implied she's playing dumb some.

>>78109878
So did Pete go full Totem?

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>>78110242
why could it have been TOM TAYLOR?

and then DANIEL WILSON?

>>78110059
frankly I'm impressed they managed to make a pocket solar system to fuck with

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>>78110253
Seems so

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>>78110274

>>78110243
>Notice they keep avoiding June's codename? Hard to blame them. What was she thinking?
Toxie Doxie is a pretty cute name tho

>>78110254
I'll give you a hint, who had the brown guy in the turban crash a plane into a solid object?

WHO DOES THAT

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>>78110290
that was so awful it's funny now

>>78110290
Oh jesus fuck I forgot
Welp time to go read my first 3 volumes of E2 again

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>>78110306

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>>78110364

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>>78110385

>>78110360
I shoved mine in a drawer, they are too upsetting to leave out in the open on a shelf

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>>78110405

>>78110290
>>78110306
That was beyond stupid. Bad enough Wilson had that happen in the first place, but he couldn't even let Khan's sacrifice mean anything since Darkseid shot him out of the air. So he didn't even get to be cool to offset the uncomfortable reference. What a crock of shit.

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>>78110421
I refused to buy volume 3 because reasons

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>>78110486

>>78110486
What, the Desaad story at the end?

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>>78110511

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>>78110526
yes

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>>78110567

>>78110511
>Spider-Man dies
every time

>>78110567
Can't say I blame you, I doubt Robinson had any input on that either

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>>78110585
Moonstone got all her powers back!

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>>78110738

>>78110738
She lives! I think.

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>>78110762

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>>78110797

>>78110738
>Moonstone got all her powers back!
Yay!

So, in addition to strength, flight, durability, and a degree in psychology, she has invisibility and intangibly? Why is it that all the evil chicks I end up falling for have ridiculously broken powersets?

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>>78110818

>>78110848
Because they're fictional characters, friendo.

>>78110818
>Before we were all at war for no reason.
Why are they fighting over what's left of Manhattan? Yeah, A.I.M is fucking with them, but from their perspective, why do they want the whole pie?

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>>78110867

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>>78110958
DAMMIT KARLA

>>78110916
from their perspective, things just slowly escalated as people congregated into tribes and resources became scarce

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>>78110971

>>78111026
RIP Spankboy Hank

>>78111026
what are the odds that there is no meat inside that suit?

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>>78111026
BTFO

>>78111119
Oh, Clor. You're too good for this world.

>>78110848
Power is sexy

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>>78111119

>>78111112
50-50 shot he's a brain-in-a-jar or digitized.

>>78110971
Karla, no. I don't think Walker likes bad girls.

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>>78111112
good call

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>>78111176

>>78111147
>Power is sexy.
... Good point, actually.

>>78111134
>Clor
Hey, a fan nickname for a Thor derivative that isn't retarded or mildly offensive. ("Whor" is only really offensive because of how tryhard it is.)

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>>78111202

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>>78111291
oh shit, canon vore

>>78111307

Clea even looks shocked

>>78111307
Is Clea trying to stifle a laugh,or is she about to throw up?

>>78111176
Well, an arc reactor isn't quite a 'jar', but it'll do.

>>78111307
Is the second panel exploitable? Hard to tell.

>>78111307
This reminds me how off ongoing Strange's voice is, urgh.

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>>78111307
"Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American Dream?"

>>78111357
Hard to blame her. That was rather unexpected.

>>78111389
Probably both.

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>>78111405
he's RDJ with an axe

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>>78111479

>>78111307
>M/M soft vore
>M/M
Goddamnit why?!

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>>78111498
shield>>>magic

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>>78111563

>>78111479
Which isn't even a horrible thing, except it's not Strange.

Fucking Herc is more mature and dignified than Strange right now, though to Abby's credit, he has a plan for the book and he's executing it right off the bat.

>>78111563
If this divergent timeline was created after Fear Itself, then the shield has Uru in it.

>>78111563
Mirror Shield! Clea just got rekt like Twinrova.

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>>78111577
WHEW

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>>78111612

>>78111612
Al iMac a best.

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>>78111643

>>78111612
>Strange is dead
>Karla still has Captain Marvel costume
.... Whatever, she looks great in it, so I ain't gonna bitch.

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>>78111656
OH SHIT, SON

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>>78111673
LAST ISSUE

>>78111673
WHAT AM I EVEN LOOKING AT

>>78111673

What did Clor evolve into!

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>>78111702
Clone Thor finally found his real mojo.

>>78111690
>ReEVOLUTION
I remember when Cyclops was headlining that title, and then Bendis proceeded to do jackshit with him for 25 months.

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>>78111736

>>78111664
Strange manipulated her mind into changing her own look >>78108707

http://www.slashfilm.com/marvel-mondo-gallery/

>>78111690
Reevolution? Is that like some kind of /r9k/ thing?

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>>78111761
BTW, the hivemind recs stuff from Dreamspinner Press for publishing some gay erotica that's also fantasy, and is deffo filthy

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>>78111798
IIRC they were heavily pimping this smartphone app where you'd get extra details and shit about the comic on certain panels

>>78111798
I don't know what it was supposed to actually mean but it was plastered on the front of every Marvel comic for a couple years

>>78111673
>>78111761
Everyone is losing their hair!

..... Can Karla go bald too, please?

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>>78111820
lol

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>>78111840

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>>78111859

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>>78111887
wow, Tony, dick move

>>78111800
Thanks, OP.

>>78111859
Based Karla, making the save! Woo!

>>78111840
Pfft. Tony, pls.

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>>78111911
dat USAgent ass

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>>78111932
>>78111912
any time, yo. good leisure reading is a must.

>>78111820
Oh, Mermaid Queen Sue. Oh, Parker, sneaking Namor into all of his books. Man after my own heart.

>>78111911
Wow, that was just plain sick. Fuck you, Stark.

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>>78111958
so, go the fuck to sleep, or play ADOM, after this?

>>78111932
>punched the hair right off him
okay, is everyone going to be bald by the time this is done?

>>78111958

>That Bendis Avengers Time Travel arc

wooo, weird times.

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>>78111996
;____;

>>78112010
>new marvel event
>EVERYONE IS BALD

>>78112010
What? No dude, Halar burned the hair off of him in >>78111761

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>>78112020

>>78111996
attempt to play ADOM for 15 minutes, then give up and go to sleep

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>>78112045
it couldn't be worse than CIVIL WAR II

>>78112053
ohhh, no one can play ADOM for only 15 minutes

>>78112045
Why has this not been a DC even with Lex at the helm yet?

>>78112049

Hooray Jan!!

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>>78112072

>>78112076
Because DC doesn't do EVERYONE IS X events. I'm not sure if I'm bitter about that, tho.

>>78112045
>Written by Bendis

>>78112072

Hey Bendis has time to set up Secret Invasion 2: Chitauri Boogaloo

>>78112104

Everyone gets Rings was a thing!

>>78112079
If you're only going to get half a page of action, bugstomping Tony Start is a good use.

I do believe Parker did Jan issues in MA, and she was always about smashing shit.

>>78112104
they did a EVERYONE IS AGE SWAPPED with Sins of Youth but I dunno if that counts

I feel like DC has an event right around the corner but I dunno what it'll be

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>>78112090
YEA, VERILY

Parker Thor?

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>>78112142

>>78112049
>>78112079
Hey, Jan got to do something cool for once.

>>78112129
>Everyone gets Rings was a thing!
that was more like "five extra people got rings!"

>>78112129
...I forgot.

>>78112136
Everyone Goes to Gemworld

>>78112136
Well they said Martian Manhunter and Miss Martian would be important come 2016 but I dunno if they meant an event.

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>>78112159
Sucks to be you! Even the Warden isn't up for being law-abiding at the moment.

>>78112142

Would not be shocked if Thor used to be able to travel dimensions by swinging the hammer around

>>78112168
So what, we're not counting the Black and White Lanterns?

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>>78112188
IN BED.

...okay, that's a *fans self* sort of moment

>>78112180
I am slightly concerned that they're heading towards Zero Hour 2.0, if they want to do continuity clean up since apparently a lot of readers actually prefer tighter continuity and there's a spare Parallax around

>>78112210
no

>>78112104
>2010 - World War Hulks
>2011 - Fear Itself
>2011 - Spider-Island
>2012 - End of AvX
>2013 - Infinity
>2014 - Axis

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>>78112215

>>78112215
This is another very Parker page and I like it. Poor iMac.

>>78112233

thanks for posting!