al/ck/ Alcoholism General

Taking up homebrewing, and telling myself that from here on out I will only drink alcohol of my own making.
Wish me luck lads, I know it probably won't work

>>9303421
good luck anon. I've told myself that lie before. I used to homebrew. IPA's are easy to brew and drink easy/don't need to age.

Drinking has finally stopped being fun for me. I also lost my job, and spent the day making dinner and doing some freelance writing shit. Drank a 6 pack and a bottle of wine but I started getting the jitters this evening.

The worse is the indescribable sense of doom. I'm not a daily drinker, but I hit it hard on the weekend and taper. Monday is always the worst. It feels like existing is terror. I don't have the other symptoms really. I'm a little shaky etc, but I'm afraid I won't stop and it's going to get worse. I've been told it only get's worse.

I've got a lot to lose atm. Got a sweet severance package from work so I don't gotta find a job for a bit. I got my Master's but it's useless. It all feels so useless. My gf and family are the only thing that keep me going.


Sorry for the fucking blog post but I'm losing my damn mind and I know you guys will understand.

Woot! Day 30 and only getting easier. Is it normal to crave sugar after you quit? I never had a sweet tooth but I've been going through a pack of oreos like every 5 or 6 days.

>>9303462
Yea that's normal, man. I put 4 months together once and found myself drinking soda and I hate soda.

La croix and flavored seltzer water is a good substitute if you want to cut the sugar. Fresca is 0 cal too, and that peach flavor is dope.

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>tfw chain smoking while sobering up on a monday night
pic is me

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>>9303483
I live off of this shit. Even when I was drinking, it was this and vodka.

>>9303500
L O N D O N
?

>>9303500
Hopefully those sigils protect her from meth. She looks the part.

>>9303501
God I miss all the polar seltzer flavors from up north. I live in florida and they only have the cranberry one.

The vanilla pear is incredible.

>>9303500
Nice dubs. I don't believe you. I don't like smoking while sobering up. It's like drinking coffee while detoxing.

>>9303508
Im in SC, might be trickling down your way.

>>9303500
This photo made an impression on me.

This girl is gorgeous. She's got beautiful hair, nice lips and probably pretty eyes. We're all just one more beer; one more drink from being forever on this ride. She could wake up one day, withered with skin like a handbag. Time could have passed her like sandpaper over rough wood. She might wake up, look in the mirror and realize that for years she wasn't even calling the shots. She will realize all the fun and rebellion of being a young drunk only leads into a miserable adulthood.

It's funny how human beings are addicted to and love the fruits of rotten juice. It's almost like we wandered out of the cave and right into the bar.

>>9303513
What part? Could give you some tips

>>9303529
Tips on what? Low country tho.

>>9303529
About the good places to stay/live

>>9303408
I don't really consider myself an alcoholic, and if I am I'm a functioning one. I have a steady job in retail and a reasonably nice place to live. I graduated college last spring and I'm looking for internships to get myself out of my current job. But I just can't seem to nail down my romantic life. That's why I'm drinking cheap rum with a squirt of lime juice tonight.

I go to a cafe downtown sometimes because one of my roomates works there and it's a cool place. They serve beer, wine, coffee, and some simple food and they have tons of boardgames patrons can play while they eat and drink. I had a slight thing for one of the waitresses there because we share a lot of the same hobbies and taste in music, plus she's pretty cute too. Sadly I found out tonight she's not looking to date at the moment because she just ended a pretty serious relationship recently. Not really a big deal, I'm not in love with her or anything. It's just this is the 4th time I've been shot down since my last breakup. I had a serious boyfriend/girlfriend thing with this one woman about 2 years back now. She ended it for practical reasons though I wanted to try and make it work. I had no luck with women before her, and I've had no luck since. Three turned out to be gay, one wasn't interested, and now the waitress isn't interested either. I don't expect everyone to be interested in me, but could the universe throw me a fucking bone here? I guess what I'm mainly upset about is that a pretty big part of me thinks that what I had with my ex is the best I'll ever get, and I already fucked up my chances at having a fulfilling relationship. I'm lucky in so many asoects of my life, but I'd trade it all just to be able to hold someone close to me like she used to hold me.

>>9303564
They'll always be around anon. Don't sweat it too much.

I agree that having a woman truly love you is probably one of the best things in this world, but you gotta sack up. If you seem sad they will hump you for pity sex and not respect you.

Be a man and you will never worry about women.

this is my 10th week sober./

just wanted to remind you guys you can do it. you will miss drinking every single day, but everything gets better.

life is better.

thanks for being there for me when i needed you. i believe in you too.

anon

>>9303638
i love you

I was asked to leave my job. My health insurance went with it. I've recently discovered that due to recent changing in the law it's difficult to get health insurance any time with most people having to wait until November. Luckily I get a temporary exception due to my recent "departure" from work to apply for a private plan.

>>9303646
no cobra?

>>9303659
Yeah. The thing about cobra is that it gives you the chance to buy into your company plan for a while after termination of employment. Except that it's way more expensive (in my case) than simply buying a plan on the open market by making use my circumstances to act as an exception to the general rule.

>>9303667
sucks. i hate the whole health insurance thing. i never use it except for antibiotics a few times a year, but the wife insists on throwing away hundreds of dollars a month. w/e.

>>9303671
I know this isn't the board for this. But the whole process, aside from my drinking, has made me a proponent of socialized medicine. Health insurance is something everyone needs, few thoroughly understand, and while I'm a huge proponent of insurance generally for home, auto, life, etc...maybe there's no reason for the health insurance industry to even exist. I also read a survey of economists recently that more than 70% of economists of all stripes don't believe the employer based system is a good thing.

>>9303681
Same.

I used to be one of those "muh free market types" but unfortunately our actions affect others and especially within healthcare. It's better to try and take care of one another than say adios and let their addictions, bad eating habits, and otherwise bad behavior become a financial burden.

I hate commies btw, but this is too obv to look over.

On vacation

Took some time off work to get some woman trouble off my mind; its bad juju, shes trouble

Got a cabin out in the boonies, drinking some scotch whiskey

Looking to do some fishing over the next 3 days and try to forget the world exists for a while

>>9303708
You and I seem to be on the same page. My new support for that kind of thing is the outlier with regard to most of my other positions, but from the viewpoint of a consumer it all seems so simple and easy. Expensive as hell, but simple. I hate it when people talk about "free" anything too. Of course it's not free. But like you say it's too obvious. I'm also a free market guy, but maybe health isn't an area where the normal rules apply.

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smirnoffbro where you at guy, I wanna see some pork ribs....

>>9303716
Sounds nice, anon. Hope you catch a fat bass. Take photos.

>>9303721
I agree anon. That's my main hang up with libertarianism. Our actions effect others. If my actions didn't effect others I really wouldn't care, but in order to pay for my own healthcare I need the support of other people also paying into it.

We're all gonna die. We might as well be prepared for it. Not to get dark.

>>9303734
You nailed it on libertarianism. Most people have that streak in them, but most people keep it in check after they leave the dorm room.

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>>9303421
Same
Already know I'll drink like five times more on top, but pic will produce 23L of cider for £15. First batch, should be ready in like 2 weeks

>>9303731
>>9301619

>>9303731
Smirnoff died

>>9303500
>sobering up
>night
Did you run out or something? Being half-drunk and running out is perhaps the freshest of all forms of Satan's favourite rape recipes. I HATE going to bed while sobering up, I toss, turn and twitch all fucking night. I have to drink until I pass out.
You're pretty btw, and I like the finger tats. I've always been too much of a wuss to get any because employers are such dicks about them. Nice to see another al/ck/ come out of hiding.
>>9303918
No he didn't. See the post above yours.

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should i get another beer? no work tomorrow

>>9303408
My blood pressure is normal when I'm drunk.. wtf....

Apparently my great grandmother would drink some apricot brandy commonly. She lived to be 100.

What reccomendations do you guys have?

Coming down from an acid trip. Drank the rest of my booze, can't get any more until 7. Just realizing that most people aren't full of suffering for no reason. Should probably get that therapist I've been thinking of getting.

>>9303962
get 6

does anyone know anything about makkeoli cocktails?

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>Buy 28 x 5mg diazepam
>FUCK YEAH, I CAN QUIT
>have drink to celebrate
>have 1 pill too; it's a celebration, and feels SO good
>3 days later
>still drunk
>taken every pill
Impeccable life-choices.

>>9303500
Hrm, hope it is, but loads of pics of that girl online.

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>>9304006

>>9304025
I know this all too well. Absolutely no self control as long as I have some in the house. Be it pills or boose.

>>9303500
im a gril btw ;^)

>>9304056
Dem filename doh. Plus loads of her online. Guessing not legit. Shame, that.

Right now is hour 70 since waking up with abdominal pain. Can't sleep, have to sit up to keep the pain down. So tired of not sleeping much. The doctor who treated me is a complete bastard for not sending me home with painkillers.

Spent most of the day feeling much better until I ate one plain pancake. That sent the pain from level 1 to 3 (at my most comfortable) for the past 4 hours.

how is alcoholism even real? just put down the bottle and walk away lmao

>>9304102
0/10

who would win in a fight?

1 bottle of vodka or 100,000 alcoholics

>>9304084
I think the doc didn't give you painkillers because he fears you'd get addicted to them, since you obviously tend to get addicted to abusable substances. He could have kept you and fed you with a drip, but hospital beds are expensive and boring.
Pancreatitis can give so much pain morphine doesn't work, they put people under artificial coma for it. Maybe he considered 1/10 was close enough to 0, and the fact that it bothers you so much is more linked to PAWS than pancreas.
Drugs work better on acute pain than chronic pain anyway. Try medical cannabis/CBD maybe?

Avoid fats and booze for a few days. Feed on juices and 0% yogurts if needed.

>>9304119
>you obviously tend to get addicted to abusable substances
How convenient.

>>9304112
The vodka. We'd all kill eachother fighting over it.

>>9304123
hahaha epic, because a disgusting liquid is so powerful, lmao haha yeah.

>>9304112
Among 100000 alkies, there must be a few brewing and distilling their own.
So we now have tons of vodka. And we're all gonna die.

>>9304128
>And we're all gonna die.
Why don't you inhale a car exhaust fumes? That would give a faster high than a shot of vodka.

>>9304119
Low fat yoghurt = high lactose yoghurt. I'd go for a full fat, unflavoured, live, probiotic yoghurt. The probios will help to nuke a few of the pathogens which are probably contributing to the intestinal inflammation. Lactose is generally terrible for the adult intestine, the pancreas only produces lactase; the enzyme which breaks lactose down into monosaccharide form, while we're babbies sucking tits for milk. After that, it just fills the colon with carbs on which parasitic pathogens thrive, thereby inflaming the digestive tract and making the pancreas throw a fit.
Could bleat on about this for ages, but won't because it's likely to all be rather boring for most ppl ITT.
If you have pancreatic inflammation, or like myself both pancreatic, colonic, liver and small intestinal issues, I highly recommend a visit to a Dr Natasha McBride in Cambridge, England. Or at least research the GAPS diet (gaps.me) and if you're really determined to get well, look into the history of this approach which dates back to the 1940's, started by a doc by the name of Sidney Valentine Haas, popularised by an American biochemist by the name of Elaine Gotschall, and currently being researched and promoted chiefly by Dr McBride.
Google 'specific carbohydrate diet' and 'GAPS diet'.

t. 16-year-long sufferer of colitis and pancreatitis.

>>9304141
My pancréatine pills instruction state to take more with meals rich in fats, and when I forget to take them my shit is oily. So I assumed fats were the problem.

>>9304084
Thinking about it, many docs don't know much about pancreatitis...

>>9304173
>assumed fats were the problem
My gastroenterologist told me recently that there's a lot of research going into how lipids affect digestion and intestinal inflammation.
Idgaf how arrogant I sound, they may be doctors who have studied for years, but I have the diseases they're trying to understand. I have an understanding of this disease that they do not. 1.5 decades of personal experience.
It is not lipids causing these diseases, it is the complex carbs feeding pathogenic microorganisms. We've as a species only been eating things like bread and other complex carbs for a few thousand years. Our immune systems have been going batshit ever since, so we have pancreatitis, asthma, eczema, schizophrenia, et al.
Dr Valentine Haas knew the score. The med community is SLOOOWWWLLLY waking to this fact. An Australian doc was recently awarded the fucking Nobel prize for proving that stomach ulcers are caused by pathogenic microorganisms. Something previously dismissed by the broader medical community.
Not going to go on and on about this, but if you really want to get better, gaps.me

>>9304196
Link:
https://www.theguardian.com/education/2005/oct/03/research.highereducation

If you live in the UK what do you say to get Benzos prescribed if you are going through withdrawals. All my doc ever gives me is thiamine. Will not whatsoever prescribe me Benzos even though he knows I'm a true al/ck

>>9304203
Huh, and having been blackout drunk for years it's been a while since I looked into this stuff, but it seems Haas wasn't the first.
http://scdlifestyle.com/2012/05/the-specific-carbohydrate-diet-is-backed-by-124-years-of-research-testing/
K I'll shut up now, but those of you who are in pain and risking colostomy/death due to an annihilated intestinal microflora thsnks to booze and modern diet, hope this stuff might help some of you.

>>9304248
I buy them from junkies. My doc refuses too.
There's always derpweeb, but dude benzos are harder to kick than booze. Be extremely careful.

>>9304253
I'm sick of buying from dealers, the "valium" ends up being etizolam or some shite. The only legit thing I can get is xanax and it doesn't last long enough. Too addictive. I guarantee there is no dealer selling pills with any Diazepam in them in the UK right now.

>>9304267
You need better connections, bruh. I buy diazepam, lorazepam and nitrazepam still in the boxes with the patient's name label on the box. Not proud of it, but criminals know and trust me. There's definitely the real stuff out there.

>>9304267
>I guarantee there is no dealer selling me pills with any Diazepam in them in the UK right now.
FTFY

>when even being drunk wont help you fall asleep unless you completely black out
Super gay

>>9304141
Man, feeling lucky to have a healthy lactase-producing digestive system.

>>9303434
fuckin ell bra sounds like shit. Hang in there.

>>9303434
I'm right there with you, homie. You'll pull through. What with your severance package and penchant for beer and wine (as opposed to hard liquor), you have a lot more going for you than most anyone in these miserable threads. Most people have alienated their gf/family by now, and those things are such a valuable crutch.
I believe in you, anon.

>>9303421
I did this with moonshine.

Things escalated quickly.

>>9304737
>>9304719

thanks guys. riding it out today. gonna drink a bunch of water and watch youtube

Oh God

>>9304922
Yes?

>>9304963
>Yes?
No ;_;

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Got some kava steeping right now, bout to get nice and rooted.

>mfw you can get a comfy buzz with no physical dependency
>mfw you can drive on this shit without risk of a DUI
>mfw there's a cap on how high you can get so you don't black out and ruin your life

>>9304997
bout to try some for the first time today. any tips? preferably with no sugar or cows milk

>>9305048
Sure.
>the water you "steep" it in needn't be hot, just warm to the touch
>use some kind of fat for the kavalactones to bind to, I use a splash of coconut milk. Oil will work.
>anything you do to it to not make it taste like shit will supposedly lessen the effects, so I wouldn't bother trying to make it more palatable
>stir/agitate it A LOT before consuming
>this shit will numb your mouth, so don't freak out

And finally, don't expect to get completely rekt on it. Just wait and see how it effects you, its effects are not a home run with everyone.

>>9305138
>completely rekt
Not what I'm after. I just want to sleep! 30 days sober and I'm averaging 4 hours a night. Figure I try some natural shit before going to a doctor. And thanks!

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>>9304248
say a seizure in the floor in front of him I guess. actions speak.

>>9305164
10/4. It's been a great mellow-out substance for me, but for sleep aid, I dunno. I still wake up after just four hours.

>>9305184
Guess we'll see, worst case I'm in the same situation I'm in now minus 20 bucks lol.

>>9305164
Also, the narcotic-like effect of it may freak you out, but there's been no hangover so far.

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Is the pancreas on the left side of the body, near the bottom of the ribs? Saturday I drank til blacking out. Happens. Next day felt like shit, again normal. Recovered until about 5pm, decide to take a shot. Fine until a few mins later and I just start pouring sweat, shaking, and feeling like death. Shelfed the bottle, couldn't eat, just lied down and drank water. Hardly slept.

Just a harsh reaction after attempting to cut back for a week then overdoing it?

>>9305198
So, do you drink it hot or can I let it cool back down? Also, whats your go to kava/water ratio?

just got back together with my gf after epic drunken breakup last night. I don't remember any of it.

I've been drinking for 10 years, the last 6 have been really intense but now i have a thing for strong IPAs and will drink 12-15 a night. The last month no matter how much i drink i black out and am starting to get angry drunk. It's fucked.

Anyway vowed to stop drinking for a while but just found 5 beers in my cupboard so here's the first one.

Salud

I had the crisis team called on me twice lately because I was going to kill myself while drunk. I was stuck in the hospital in a chair for 22 hours.

I'm so fucking tired of this addiction.

I find myself taking a few days off and calming down on the drink 5 (8%abv) beers on days off or a L of wine with 2 beers.

really need to cut back off again but I feel empty inside without the drink.

This whole addiction thing sucks.

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It's my birthday. No one gives a shit. I'm broke and really want some gin.

>>9305417
Happy bday!

Buy ya a bottle if I could.

>>9305446
Thanks man, I appreciate the thought.

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>>9303895
>first attempt
>cheap af apple juice, cider yeast, yeast nutrient
>sure I'd fuck something up
>24hrs later
>airlock is bubbling like crazy
ITS ALLLIIIIIVVVVVEEEE!!!!

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>>9305417
All the best, anon

>>9305417
I've spent near-enough every birthday at home with a bottle and a teenage hooker. Sometimes I bake a cake and sing myself happy birthday.
Kill me?

>Tfw its 1 beer Tuesday
>Only have 4 dollars
>Don't want to pull money from ATM...but I might
>Payday isn't until Sunday

I'm in a bit of a jam here lads.

Wait, why are people saying not to drink coffee while detoxing? Because it dehydrates or what?

2 days sober here

>>9305460
Thanks dude.

>>9305467
Just because it increases anxiety, I think.

>>9305462
At least you've had the cash to do something on your birthday? Hell I'd join you if I could.

>>9305477
It's my birthday in a few months. Wanna choose one and go halves on a spit roast?
(NSFW link)
www.girlsfromparadise.com

>>9305480
Would rather be in on the drinking and cake to be honest.

>>9305486
I do make a formidable Black Forest gateau, can't say I blame you.

>>9303501
Polar is hard to find but occasionally found here in Chicago. Their bitter-lemon is 10/10, and it goes so amazingly with gin.

>>9305467
it dehydrates and it will turn the already brutal anxiety into turbo mode.

Picked up that bottle up fireball whiskey as a substitute for the the large bottle of Evan Williams to try and "cut back"

The fireball whiskey goes down so easy I ended up drinking the whole bottle that night. I was also celebrating being rich from Bitcoin too.

who /malt liquor/ here

just got 3 colt 45s, gonna crack one open and watch malt liquor videos on youtube because i have no friends

>>9305623
how much did you make anon

>>9305630
Steel Reserve taste like wet newspaper, but Olde English is honestly pretty decent.

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>>9305623
>btc
Heh. I used to have 600 btc alone, plus 104 different types of altcoins. Millions of some of them. Sold them all for next to nothing. Current value would be close to hundreds of millions of pounds.
Once in 2011 spent 14BTC on an eighth of weed. At that point, bitcoins were 3 quid a piece.
Pic related. My XMR holdings ALONE. One of HUNDREDS of cryptos I once had on a USB drive on my keyring.
Sold them all to buy heroin and crack in 2015-16.
Current value of those XMR is 2.7 million GBP.
I won't even start on my ETH, DASH(DRK) and... dozens of other massively depressing, missed opportunities.
Still profited, but total lost in terms potential profit? Approaching NINE figures, GBP.
Hindsight is everything I guess.
Brb drinking heavily.

>>9305658
steel reserve is horrible, OE is good but I switched to Colt 45 when they got the plastic bottles.

>>9305715
God damn it man

>>9305715
...oh but hey, at least I'm not this guy.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-25134289
Current value: £20,250,000
Cost him nothing. Mined on a laptop he then threw away.
Fun times.

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>>9303524
>we wandered out of the cave and right into the bar

Wow anon, thats deep. I'll print that on shirts, sell a couple of trazillion and become a millionaire. Thank you.

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>>9305761
I was pretty wasted when I wrote that last night. Sounds kidna gay in retrospect lol.

>>9303638
Thanks man, it's encouraging reading that. These threads have really developed the past few months. I'm impressed with all of us

drinking a bit more, gots to kill the bad feels

>>9305780
I was kidding anon. I really do like it.

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After a week binger I nearly gave up on life.
I was in bed dying, in pain, and couldn't even move.
As it passed, I got out and started drinking again.

>>9303500
you're not lil jeep anon

>>9303500
M I L W A U K E E

>>9305923
Yeah, why do people lie about this shit? Real pics or gtfo

Quick, what are some half decent whiskeys / bourbons that I can cook with and not feel bad, but also drink with and not puke?

>>9305992
Jim beam white is dirt cheap and tastes fine

CAN SOMEONE HIRE ME AS A BARBACK?

>>9306072
Dude. Come on now. It's so fucking easy. Just wait outside a bar in somewhere like Brighton, uk, and ask people to bareback you. Job done.

LOVING these never ending, painful hiccups and the delectable heartburn. Can't get enough

>>9306054
I bought jim bean black just to see if I could tell a difference

>>9305715
I know absolutely nothing about bitcoins or any other crypto currency

would now be a bad time to start investing?

>>9306193
Yes.

>>9306199
why is that?

oversaturated market?

>>9306193
If you want to get into cryptos (I.e waste some money) talk to >>>/biz/
You'll probably regret it.
After 6 years in the business though, I'd suggest that if you invest in anything, it should be XMR or BCN.
Research to hell and back anon, shit isn't just a case of throwing money at something and crossing your fingers.

>>9306204
Too volatile, too many scams, too unpredictable.
Yes you can get very rich very easily, or like me, miss out on £74,000,000 of potential profit, and drink more to forget.

Hey guys. I used to read this thread nightly next to a bottle of vodka. It's been a year and nearly 3 months since my last drink. Life gets so much better. You can do it if you really want to. There's help and hope for all of us sorry sacks of shit and that's the truth. If you were thinking about kicking it, do it. Do it at all costs. Go to rehab, go to AA, exercise, do yoga or whatever you need to do. Your family, friends will understand. Chances are they will be relieved. You've got this brothers and sisters! I love you all

do you lot also get huge cravings for sweets when you stop drinking? i never used to have a sweet tooth - to the point of actively disliking anything sweet - but since stopping drinking 3 weeks ago i'm like an animal for chocolate and biscuits and stuff

i mean it's obviously better than drinking but still i don't want diabetes/obesity/rotten teeth

30 days sober from alcohol. I cheated today and put some flavor extract in my coffee. I will admit it was not for the flavor. Must remember to not make it a habit.

Stay strong friends.

>>9306271
I'd consider quitting but i'm afraid it would turn me into a hippie faggot like this guy

My dad is in the emergency room right now for /alck/ related reasons. If anyone wants to hear the horrifically sad story, just give the word.

>>9306304

lol I'm still an asshole but I didn't want to come off as edgy

>>9306305
Lets hear it

>>9306294

It won't be as bad after awhile. Easier to quit than booze anyway

>>9306305
second

>>9306317
Okay but I'm not fucking greentexting.

5 months ago my mom divorced my dad after 28 years of marriage on a whim with no prior warning and she now lives an hour away with another guy. My dad's dad (my grandfather) also happened to have gotten terminally ill and he died a week after this happened.

For 3 months I stayed alone with him (siblings moved out except for me a long time ago). One week we went on a vacation in Wisconsin together and it turned into a disaster. I should begin by adding that my dad has been in AA for 20 years and been on an 12 year streak of sobriety (until this past Monday).

While on vacation he went into a psychotically manic state of bitter depression and began to try to tell me that I am as much of a victim of his divorce as he is, it was a god awful 4 days and he was nonfunctionally miserable. The reason this happened is because him and my mom used to go to this location together and it brought back memories to him.

He held me emotionally hostage and wouldn't let me get him any help. Eventually I was picked up by my brother who drove 5 hours to get me and I've been living with him in Illinois ever since.

I still visited with my dad in the last couple months but he's still a piece of shit and doesn't see how much his pain is worrying me. It's traumatizing to deal with, he just won't get over my mom.

Fast forward to today. He drank two bottles of smirnoff, somehow managed to call his friend from AA. And his friend had him transported to the hospital by the paramedics immediately, he was allegedly behaving suicidal. He is currently in the ER and the nurses aren't giving a lot of details, he is alive, but he can't leave for an undetermined amount of time now. He has broken his 12 years of sobriety and he told me long ago that if he ever did that he will give up on life.

>>9304196
Thanks.
Tbh, gaps.me list so many diseases looking unrelated to each other it sounds like snake oil. But you once said it's what kept you alive drinking daily enough booze to exterminate a small Muslim country, so I'll give it a try.
It won't be easy, I like my current diet.

>>9305372
Are you Canadian?

>>9305417
I once was remembered it was my birthday by the charming pharmacist when she gave me various painkillers, anti-emetics and valium while I was withdrawing and in pain because I couldn't keep anything down due to my pancreas. I may have used a cane to walk to the pharmacy, in my 20's.
I had stopped giving a fuck long before, I've never been a fan of birthdays.
Happy birthday Anon, I hope it gets better.

>>9305467
It's more of a AA thing, habit taken in rehab (under valium coffee is nice. And there is nothing else to do in the hospital than drink coffee and smoke cigarettes.)

>>9306072
Google "gay bar [your location]", look their websites, find email, send your résumé.

>>9306399
Another case of AA putting too much emphasis on how bad breaking sobriety is, and not enough on how to get back to the wagon asap.
https://www.amazon.com/Hour-Bronze-Alcoholics-Anniversary-Medallion/dp/B00AVDSBXO/
Get one of these for him, I supposed it'll help.

>>9306399
Shitty. Sounds like my dad except the story is 30 years long

>>9306428
>Are you Canadian?
How did you know?

>>9306428
>you once said
I did. And I stand by my beliefs. Good luck, al/ck/ old-timer.
We'll get through this nightmare.

Probably.

>>9306399
How do you hold someone emotionally hostage and how is your dad the piece of shit for having a hard time with suddenly being dumped by your cheating whore of a mum, and how is your priority that his grief is traumatising to you rather than him?

I'm missing a shitload of context of course but going by your post it's pretty puzzling to me.

>Passed out at noon
>Woke up after alcohol sale ended
>Great, ~7 hours sober depending on how fast the alcohol was in me while I slept
>still 9 hours until alc sale starts
inb4 withdrawals

This is becoming too frequent

>>9306471
Because someone cared.

>>9306482
It's not like that anon. I love him but he keeps putting the kind of things on his children that a divorced parent should never do. He has refused to get help repeatedly and is in extreme denial, imagine how frustrating that is to somebody who cares about you.

And yes, you are missing a metric ton of context that I didn't specify.

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>>9306530
>He has refused to get help repeatedly and is in extreme denial,
Then your part is done. You can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves.

As my aunt would say "He's in God's hands now"

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>>9306471
You tried jumping under a truck a few days ago.
If not, we lost a suicidal Canadanon.

SB resurrected.
Suicidal Britanon went missing in the Thames/Channel.
Cancerous medical MJ is dead from liver failure.
Malldrinker is live and well.
Simsonsbro is missing.
Musical Motherboard Person is alive
Suicidal Canadanon ????
Gnomebro ????
I'm probably missing some.


>>9306530
Why does he refuses help? Religion, stubbornness to admit having a problem?
Tell him the first step to recovery is admitting he's not handling his divorce well.

Great alternative to alcohol.

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>>9306573
Aaaaaand forgot pic.

Anyway, the stuff is called Kratom

>>9306553
Made me laugh while nearly becoming teary-eyed.
al/ck/ imo should not fear namefaggotry on condition that we're not pricks to each other.
Fuck, really wondering whether Simpsonbro's bod threw in the towel.
Not like him to be so absent.

Glad you at least are still with us, sudokubro.

Be well, all. Really.

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8hrs 52 minutes.

>>9306583
I'm not sudokubro. He's the same person as gnombro, if I'm not mistaken.
He hasn't posted in a while, pic was a call to him.
>>9306607
And now you're confusing me.

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>>9306623
Nah, I'm not gnomebro

>>9306623
>confusing
That's how long I have to wait until the shops open.

Sudokubro was/is gomebro?? Would never have guessed

>>9306641
Or gnomebro also plays sudoku when he's not hunting gnomes. I may have confused.

>>9306636
Ah, k, cool.
Welp, glad you're still in one piece, bruh. You're as integral a part of this chaotic tapestry as any of us. Glad the jigsaw hasn't lost so many pieces that it simply ceases to exist. I NEED muh al/ck/.

>>9306579
I take kratom when I'm at work so I don't pour sweat with crippling anxiety.

I like it, But It makes me drink water and piss constantly. I spend half my work day pissing

>>9306665
is it legal
where can you buy

>>9306674
I THINK it's legal in every state.

go to leddit and search kratom. That sub is full if info

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lurker long time, going to rehab on thursday. just got out of the psychward today and was put on methocarbamol for my chronic and it feels really good. i looked it up and it has abuse liability similiar to lorazepam.
>Gordon Ramsay: Fuck me...

>>9306767
>chronic pain
typo fix'd

>>9306767
Welcome, anon. Tell us a story.

>>9306683
Alabama, Arkansas, Indiana, Tennessee, Vermont, and Wisconsin are the only states that have outlawed it.

>>9306776
Recently had to come to the conclusion that I have borderline personality disorder and not bipolar disorder. total different AXIS of mental illness. Been mis-diagnosed my whole life, started mental illness treatment at 15. Finally got decent insurance so I can see decent doctors, which may have lead to getting diagnosed correctly. Typical alchy shit, child abuse emotional/physical/sexual. Hate my parents and cant get over it and im 28. Have a genetic disorder called Marfan's Syndrome, basically all my connective tissue is made incorrectly and becomes super stretchy and leading to chronic joint pain. Alcohol is just a good painkiller and emotional escape.
/rant

>>9306811
Bruh, do you have the super long Margarita fingers? Do you play guit?

>>9306811
>methocarbamol may cause urine to turn black, blue, or green.
That sounds fun.

Good luck with rehab. Do you know what you'll have access to? And during the first more restricted week?
Typically, take books and music on another device than your phone (if it gets taken away. Alternatively, they take the SIM card only). And some snacks that can't cause a mess and keep outside a fridge.

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Just emailed her and her husband.
I'm going to regret this tomorrow.
My head will jump off the pillow; "OH FUCK NO"
But for now, I'm drunk, cosy, and remembering how nice it was being inside her.

On an I promise unrelated note, anyone know of painless methods of suicide?
Thanks.

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>>9306868
Emailed them about what? A 3 way? Because thats what it sounds like

>>9306868
I have déjà vu.
Last time you asked before sending.

You have to post the mails this time.

>>9306579
Gonna sound retarded as fuck considering the shape I'm in, but I've heard it's bad for your liver. I can't be punching that thing twice.

Also I'm not into any other drugs beyond the booze because I'm afraid I'll get another problem. I know it works on the opioid receptors but I don't wanna be fiending for dope now either.

>>9306878
Having cans left in my room for a while and knowing how bad the mold smells, I bet that room is fucking vomit-worthy in terms of odor

>>9306868
>On an I promise unrelated note, anyone know of painless methods of suicide?

You're gonna die at some point anyways, just ride it out and see what happens. Don't you wanna be around for the upcoming civil war?

>>9303564
I'm sorry you feel put out. May I suggest trying to date around? Putting it all out there for 5 people in 2 years and being so crushed by what is really a small amount of... not even rejection but just things not working out is an indication that you are too thin-skinned, or expect things to always go your way and therefore are suuuuuuuuper disappointed when they don't. Or you feel you deserve something you haven't gotten yet. But the keyword is YET and if you let go of that word, you are letting go of your hope for love, and even if circumstances allow, it could either be too much pressure for the next person to handle or you would be sabotaging things before they even went wrong because your expectation is that you are a fuck up or something.

The reason people say that you find someone when you aren't looking is because when you are desperately searching for someone to fill a specific hole for you then you aren't really looking at the person in front of you, just the hole.

Anyway, chin up. No promises, but looking on the brighter side and being okay with things as they are, or just trusting that they will change if they aren't okay right now is a lot better than digging and digging and digging yourself into a hole. Hopefully venting your feelings has already made you feel somewhat better.

>>9305417
Happy Birthday!

Hey Al/ck/s I have a question you might be able to help with.

So I'm not an every day drinker, but I'm a binge drinker. I usually drink a bottle of vodka a night about 3 nights a week, for like almost 10 years. Anyways, I just got some lab shit done and apparently my liver enzymes? ALP or ALT or something is 400, and it was only like 140 in November. Why the fuck would it spike so much all of a sudden, maybe because I'm doing a ketogenic diet at the same time?

Anyways those of you who have had fucked up livers or long time alcoholics, how bad is 400?

>>9307023
Uh, did you not discuss this with the doctor

>>9306933
I appreciate the sympthy. I think you're right, I am pretty used to most things going my way except this stuff. I grew up with a lot of privileges and it shows sometimes. What do you mean exactly by "dating around"? I kind of thought that's what I was doing, more or less.

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Drinking moderately is about as shitty as not drinking at all it seems.

>>9307034
Sure I did, but he gave me some non-specific bullshit.

"So how bad is 400?" "Oh well its not jaundice level or anything."

Basically he didn't give me any idea of where 400 lies on the spectrum between normal person, and holy shit stop drinking now.

So do you have an idea or not?

>>9307041
How do you get three dykes in a row

>>9307046
>Normal levels of AST and ALT may slightly vary depending on the individual laboratory's reference values. Typically the range for normal AST is reported between 10 to 40 units per liter and ALT between 7 to 56 units per liter.

>Mild elevations are generally considered to be 2-3 times higher than the normal range. In some conditions, these enzymes can be severely elevated, in the 1000s range.

You have moderate elevation. Probably best to cut back. Doc is right. You're not sclerotic dirtbag alcy yet, but you're drinking will make you die early probably.

>>9307047
It's actually a joke woth my friends now. I have a type, and unfortunately for me it's a near-perfect match for the stereotypical femme lesbian. Cute little bob or pixie cut, bright pastel colored hair, bubbly personality, short and petite. Just gets me every time. My hope is to eventually luck out and find a bi girl.

>no alcohol
>too lazy/tired to drive to the store
>drink coffee instead

This is almost as good. I keep thinking I should just drink coffee instead of alcohol.

>>9306907
Oh god, yeah, that's awful. In this apartment, I've had fruit flies reproducing in beer cans after only a week. Currently have some flying around my kitchen, starving to death because I cleaned the cans and cashed them in.

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>>9307076
Thanks man, I've been trying to find that kind of information (actual numbers), not just info on what it is.

Well, time to cut back for a couple weeks, taken a bunch of milk thistle, and get another blood test and hope it's down quite a bit. I told myself I'd stop when it became a health issue, guess I might be there quicker than I thought.

Who wine here?

I switched to wine from vodka and it's a lot better. I did the math and realized wine is actually a lot cheaper. And it tastes better and doesn't need any dilution and it can be sipped over a long period of time instead of taking a few shots and getting wasted.

>>9307106
There was 1 fruit fly in my room that lived to like 2+ months just surviving on beer left in cans at the bottom, they should live like a few weeks top

>>9307113
Are you sure the wine is cheaper per alcohol volume? I'd be pretty skeptical about that.

Also you have to keep in mind you're drinking a ton of sugar for every mL of alcohol, which can be really bad for your health too.

Personally I just buy strong vodka and dilute it.

>>9303434
We're on the same page anon. I got that big severance, drinking ramped up, then I finally got a job and tried to keep the drinking the same. Didn't work. Almost got fired from being too fucking hungover to work every day. Homebrew just gives me 5+ gallons of high alcohol beer to drink every night.

>>9307023
>ketogenic
Isn't it the diet that you can't drink alcohol with without fucking up everything? I'm not a dietfag, but I think it is. It make your liver try to digest itself while you get skinnyfat or something.

>>9307077
I have a similar kink for stereotypical lesbian. Except I put it on the list of unattainable fantasy with fucking in zero-G and scoring a twilek from starwars.

>>9307143
I did the math and cheap box wine is around 20% cheaper than vodka per alcohol volume.

The sugar and calories are higher though, for sure.

What does a seizure feel like? I was suffering in bed earlier and actually managed to doze off for 30 minutes. I immediately had a dream where I was talking to my sister and then everything started spazzing out and I fell over and she started screaming to stay with her and then I woke up. My brain hurt and felt weird. I actually had to think if I had some kind of seizure or not. [spoiler]I know I didn't but I was scared for a minute[/spoiler]

Drinking now to assuage my fears.

>>9307163
>keto

Yeah, idk, I tried to find some information on how the diet interacted with drinking a lot, and I didn't find anything except a. don't drink shit with carbs, and b. the diet is good for your liver by itself.

But yeah, if my experience is any evidence... Drink the same amount for 10 years, barely any issue with my liver. Do keto for 2 months and switch entirely to vodka for no carbs, and suddenly my liver enzyme shit is 4 times higher than it was.

>>9307163
I figure there's no point in not trying.

>>9307187
Never had one, but I was worried I had once. Most helpful info that I found is if you didn't piss yourself, it probably wasn't a seizure.

>>9307219
Apart from the shame of being a drunken asshole trying to flirt with lesbos, yeah.
I'll have to learn how to flirt sober first anyway.

>>9307213
Maybe it's unrelated to the diet and your liver just said "that's it, I had enough, from now on I fuck up and get damaged by ethanol until total failure happen. We're old enough."
I was in my late 20's when my pancreas did that. Liver's going fine, but the pancreas will never go back to any kind of normal.

>>9307187
Start like a typical withdrawal nightmare. Not sure about the end.

>>9307219
Anyone got the screen cap of that /fit/izen getting owned by the lesbian he tried to b8 into a threesome? She convinced him to let his grill "practice" with her several times and then manipulated her into leaving him.

>>9306767
i really hope you stay and dont leave the rehab. you will be tempted to leave. some people will probably leave while youre theyre. against medical advice. do your best to stay. nothing about beating addiction is easy. you have to fight for every inch. every day

What drink trivia do you know? Alcohol is more interesting to drink if you know the history/ creation process of what you're drinking

>>9307114
that little guy had a pretty good life for a fruit fly.

>>9307114
Jesus what a fucking jackpot life that fly got

>>9307187
I think I had a seizure during my worst days as an alcoholic. I blacked out in bed and woke up but could hardly move. Now I do have sp quite regularly but this was different. My body just felt stuff and I felt my body also convulsing and could hear my bed making noise, it lasted for about 6 seconds in my head but when I stopped I was exhausted as if I'd just strained out the biggest shit of my life whilst just done with a marathon. It's the only time I've ever had an episode like that but it could have just been an intense sp episode.

>>9307287
Vodka means "little/small water" in Russian.

>>9307344
But did you piss yourself

i stopped drinking when my dad died. before that, i drank fairly regularly.
sometimes i miss it. especially when i see cocktail i want to try, or when i think about a cold beer for dinner.

>>9303500
This girl doesn't even look like shit yet, but she already looks like shit.

Sad!

Well, pain is down by a lot today since I've eaten nothing. The worst pain at this point is hunger, and I have at least 1 more day to go without eating. Still not feeling any real alcohol withdrawals, so that's great. Going to go to work tomorrow finally, I'm mostly excited about cashing my pay check from last week.

Been able to clean up after last week's beer binge; washed a lot of dishes, took out garbage, cleaned up cans, and washed a dried cheese sauce splatter off the wall above my sink. Feeling much better despite this gnawing hunger and the occasional pancreas twitch. Piss is dark orange and infrequent, my stomach isn't able to absorb water as quickly as usual and it hurts to fill up. I'm gonna make it, guys.

I hope no one here ever has to go through this bullshit.

I genuinely from the bottom of my heart hope things work out for you guys, its real brave of you all to try and kick the habit but you should keep going because even if you don't think it, theres someone out there who believes in you, even if it is just a random anon like me. Love you guys, and I hope you find the happiness you're looking for.

>>9307639
Done it too often. Buy electrolyte packets. Keep canned soup on hand. I prefer tomato. Thiamin and folic acid for during / after binge. Water isnt enough. Your body needs electrolytes. Hate that dark orange piss.

All this really does help btw.

>>9307659
Yeah, the main problem is getting to a store. There's a gas station nearby, but they have no electrolyte packets or vitamins. Their soups are $3 per can for the same kinds that would be 75 cents at a grocery store. My dad usually drives me, but I didn't want him to smell alcohol on me during the weekend.

Would have been functional by last Tuesday if my organs didn't start having issues from doing the same thing I had done many times before. They've reached their limits, so it's time to quit forever.

Any of you all get a sore throat after you quit? I'm three days sober and my throat is sore as fuck. I don't know if it's just allergies or maybe its repairing itself from all that alcohol I drank.

>>9307287
I homebrew but don't want to get all braggy with a bunch of facts, I do agree with you though, I absorb any and all facts about alcohol

>>9307803
Fuck off, redditor. You're a boring person and your "friends" barely tolerate you.

>>9307749
Drink more water man. Never a bad idea.

>>9307809
No. I am to be boring. I don't care about friends. I think you're projecting.

>>9307672
I suggest plastering your room with reminders of the consequences. printouts of withdrawal symptoms, personal written accounts of the worst times, stuff like that. so you see it every day. has helped me.

>>9307840
I've thought about it, but memories of alcohol problems are pretty strong at this point. There's no way I could go back, there's such little gain for so many problems. Made a huge dent in the messes in this apartment today despite being kinda sick still. I expect to have way more energy by next week, this place is going to look so nice.

So easy to live in filth when I didn't care. Some of the dishes I washed had dried food on them from 2014. My landlord would schedule inspections and I'd half-ass clean up by putting crusty dishes in a box in a closet, among other things. Fuck that life, it's over, I'm going to go back to pre-drinking habits and do things properly.

>>9306305
>>9306399
UPDATE

The hospital unfortunately released my dad without admitting him to a psych clinic. I picked him up at 3AM because nobody else would bother. I took him back to his house, had my words with him, and lastly, warned him not to drink again. He shook his head in compliance and that was about it. Am I wasting my time?

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>>9303501
I can no longer drink any of my old go-to mixers. Just the thought of it and I can almost taste the equal ratio vodka cocktail of it. So diet green tea, Crystal Light, grape Gatorade, and club soda are all ruined forever.

Maybe someday the negative associations will go away. I hope so.

>>9307649
Those words have value whether people reply to you or not

>Drink a beer trying to taper
>Already thinking about what more I'll buy in a couple of hours when I run out

I've given up to be honest family. Or I am in the cusp of it.

I live in a shit house, surrounded by spics. I'm agoraphobic, my dad's health is failing.

I live with him. I'll probably end myself when he dies. I wouldn't be able to deal with that.

>>9308293
Every day is the same. Panic attacks so bad I occasionally black out. I wake up at 8am, walk the dog, shower, liquor store by. 11,drinkkg by 3

>>9308181
I feel your pain.

Finally discovered what makes me feel alive again, it's too expensive for a broke piece of shit like me. My states laws really fuck me over on this too.

>4 more hours until the liquor store opens.

I just woke up.

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>>9306878
I told him she deserved better.
He's a 6ft5 car salesman and amateur boxer who supports her. Lol. I'm an alcoholic junkie with an apparently irreparable case of infinite oneitis.
>>9306878
I'll tell you his response, to which I just woke: "on Saturday I am going to break one of your bones. Which would you prefer?"
Lol.
I am in so much trouble. He means it, and I probably deserve it.

I've now got to go buy a load of booze to recruit a fucking army. I know some dangerous people, been drinking buds with lunatics for years. Those who aren't in prison will help me in exchange for a few cans. Those who are in prison, welp, guess I'll be seeing them soon.

Fucking hell alcohol, fuck you for this. God dammit all to fucking hell. Fuck's sake, why do I do it.

>>9308347
Rest in peace you fucking retard. You are not awaited in Valhalla.

Is there a mental illness that makes you have constant flashbacks to embarassing shit you did
And why is alcohol the only thing that helps

>>9308347
why don't you recruit a shotgun and fuck off one of his knees

>>9308376
I think that's called alcoholism

Not even bothering to take sodium bicarbonate any more, I just mix it in with every drink, preemptively. Whoever invented heartburn needs to be stomped heftily in the balls.

>>9308382
That shit was happening way before I started drinking

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>>9308381
Even a pistol in the UK would set me back 800 quid, and I'd be looking at 15 years inside. Through my former addictions I know some legit lethal gangs who'd help me for a price, too high of a price. I do however also know the dropouts to whom they cater, and while we're nothing more than drinking buddies, a few quid on cider will recruit at the very least, a former royal marine turned junkie, a former mma fighter - banned from training due to a GBH conviction, a heroin addict who's just naturally huge and like 50 junkies/alchies for whom violence is simply a part of life.
I'll be ok.
Until I'm arrested.
Going cold turkey in prison again isn't going to be fun, but meh, I'll just think about her. Everything is warm and cosy when I think of her.
P.s. Kill me immediately? Thanks.

>>9307345
beer isn't even considered to be an alcoholic beverage in Russia iirc, it's a soft drink, same as cola.

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>>9308453
why is it every one of us high quantity hopeless alcoholics is fighting off the fucking feelings from losing THAT ONE FUCKING GIRL. I swear to god everyday, it's the same thing.... I just wish she still loved me. Fuck this shit.

>>9308453
Fucking hell lad why are you picking fights with people? Learn to stay the fuck away from social media / emails / phone when drinking, makes life a lot easier in the cold light of day. No matter who she is she isn't worth all that.

I say that as if I am somehow better, when I think of "her" I just drink more to make it go away so have fucked my life and health up over someone I haven't even seen in years. Had to force myself to stop talking to people when drunk (so pretty much every day) as I genuinely wanted to die the net day when I realised what I had said. Shitposting here is fun at least, and the bonus of playing video games wasted is that you can do them more than once as I can never remember all of them

>>9306868
Post message pls

>>9308478
Probably going to get some shit for this comment but I'm convinced I'm right: men only fall in true love once in their lifetime.

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>>9308347
>>9308453
Or you could, you know, be an adult and report him for aggravated assault.

>>9307840
I have a couple pictures that help me with this. I was never this bad but pretty close to it with beer cans in my room

>>9306868
Can someone fill me in on this qt and your story?

>>9308513
>Or you could, you know, be an adult and report him for aggravated assault.

He could go to the cops right now because he threatened him

>>9308376
I dunno but I have it too. ambien seems to help but only because it prevents me from being awake to think about that shit. but yeah my brain has a whole playlist of every dumb thing I've ever said and done, and it likes to drag it out and hit shuffle on it at the most random times.

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>>9308522
>>9308513
If I go to the police for any reason, I'll be branded a snitch and I will be murdered. I do not exaggerate.
>>9308518
Just your typical alchie oneitis stuff I guess. Left me years ago because of my drinking, now I can't get over her, and other girls bore me so much I can't even be bothered to fuck them half the time even when we're naked together in bed. Typically just end up with a kiss and a half-assed cuddle, then drinking, smoking and watching a movie before she gets bored and leaves.

>>9308551
>Just your typical alchie oneitis stuff I guess
Yeah figured that, just seemed like a bit of a jump from that to getting a gang together for a fight over an email.

>>9308551
>UK gangs
Let me guess, Glasgow?

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>>9308552
I've been pushing my luck for years. I'm no pushover, I'm 6ft3 and I'll fight if I HAVE to, but he's bigger than me, is an amateur boxer and is MARRIED to the girl. I have absolutely no right to impose this shit on a married couple and I am terribly ashamed of myself for doing so. She has a ring on her finger.
Drunken moron-me lacks the appropriate respect they deserve.

Still going to protect myself against the imminent attack. Associating with the criminal classes does at least afford you some quite formidable protection provided by some rather ruthless and scary people.

>>9308551
is that a bulge?

>>9308555
London.

>>9307044

Pretty much.
Every time I'm feeling sorry for myself due to money/hangover/doing something harmless but stupid the day after a big night my girlfriend just says "you could just drink less you know" like that's actually an option.

I only drink once every two weeks or so and I still can't stand the idea of going anything less than full tilt if I'm with friends.

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>>9308572
She has no penises. Stahp.

>>9308568
>I have absolutely no right to impose this shit on a married couple and I am terribly ashamed of myself for doing so. She has a ring on her finger.
>Drunken moron-me lacks the appropriate respect they deserve.
Have you told them that?

>>9308568
How many times have you tried to contact her / both of them in the past? Is this a one off thing or do you do it a lot? He ever done anything to you in the past?

>>9308568
She is a real qt though so I can imagine the oneitis easily developing if she's nice aswell. Best of luck lad.

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>>9308593
Yeah I have. I even apologised this morning. They didn't pick up the phone, few people do when I call. I emailed an apology.
Again.
And I don't expect it'll be the last time.

I hate drunk me.
I've even bought a rope.
>>9308597
>how many times?
Uh.
Lets just say, too many.
LOTS.
I wuv hew ;_;

Bbl vodka.

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>>9308602
Ty anon.
Gtg. Need alcohol.
Bet I fuck up and mail them again. Wew

>>9308607
Probably best to leave it and hope it all blows over then. She is cute, can see why you got attached.

You ok m8?

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>>9307187
I had a seizure once, it wasn't alcohol related (rare side effect of donating blood). I passed out and was kind of in a dream like state, where I felt like I was stuck in the engine of a propeller plane, intense, regular throbbing in my head in a high frequency (and I mean VERY intense, shit was horrible). When I regained consciousness, I had weird waves of a tingling sensation wash over me. Since I was at a blood bank (and since this was Germany I wasn't at some cheap ass shithole, but rather part of the uni-clinic) I had nurses and doctors standing around me and getting IV-fluids pumped into me. After like half an hour I was fine to leave, I decided to buy a few bottles of wine to celebrate, had 0 hangover the next morning, thanks to the (I think) 3L of blood-substitute they pumped into me.

>>9308613
>You ok m8?
He bought a rope. What do you think?

>>9308619
F

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>>9308114
>Am I wasting my time?
No. I had a sister with MDD, some kind of bipolar disorder/depressive mania and substance abuse. She was admitted at some point, after she was released, I spent a lot of time with her, through the ups and downs, we all tried our best, but she still decided to jump in front of a train. Eventhough we couldn't save her I'd hate myself even more if I hadn't tried my best to support her and at least I got to spend time with her. If you really love your father, try your best to help him, spend time with him, otherwise you might regret it.
(pic unrelated)

>>9308572
big if true

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Back.
Smirnoff kicking in.
Nom nom nom nom. Feels warm, cosy, soothie, cosy and silky.
>>9308651
It's a zip bending her dress, lol. If this wasn't a blue board I could post pics and vids which would graphically illustrate her delectable femininity.

>>9308690
Must be even harder having previously been with your oneitis. I'll never know what I've lost as I never had it in the first place.

>>9308690
>Smirnoff kicking in
Same here, almost 3pm and a fucking bottle deep already. At the point where I either try and get my shit together or go to the shop and buy more. Really need to get my tolerance down, this is fucking stupid

>>9308690
Can always post on /s/ and link it

>>9308465
Not true since like 2008, however the very fact that it once was this way is funny

>>9308735
Not sure how the /ck/ mods would feel about me posting links to vids of myself (then aged 30) fucking a teenager (then aged 19) in her old school uniform. Don't wanna be b&

>>9308747
How do you even meet a 19 year old when you are 30?

>>9308792
Just used to socialise a lot. I know hundreds of people within like half a mile of here. Used to (legally) fuck a 16yo when I was 37. Not really a big deal, anon.

>>9308807
Fair enough, suppose I am the oppose end of the al/ck/ spectrum being pretty much a complete recluse. You not socialise so much any more?

>>9308812
Nah, got too close to a long-term prison sentence. Can deal with weeks/months, but the more involved you get with the lifestyle, the more dangerous a game it becomes. When a friend of mine was raped for refusing to take the blame for a crime he didn't commit, I decided to gtfo.

>>9308824
Christ that sounds terrible, do people actually act like that? Wow. Good decision steering well clear of that shit.

What is prison like if you don't mind my asking? Closest I have ever gotten is a few nights in the cells for being beyond drunk in public and unable to speak. That was a dark few months, came very close to losing everything but never made it as far as jail.

>>9303721
>paid for by MMFA

>>9308857
>what's prison like?
Depends on your personality. If you appear to be scared, vulnerable or exploitable, you're going to suffer. A lot.
If you're built, tall, confident and can fight, expect similar people to compete with you, to better their social status.
Best way imo to survive? Say nothing. Pretend that nothing bothers you. Not necessarily easy if like me you're over 6ft; it's paradoxically something of a hindrance, but the best way to survive prison? Just try to be as emotionless and unnoticeable as possible. While not trying to be so unnoticeable that you become noticeable.
Prison is HARD. You will suffer, you will be in pain. Best you can do is to try your best to stay in your cell and stay as uninvolved as possible.
You cannot reason with these people. Many can't read or write, some will injure or kill without any comprehension of the consequences. It is a very unpleasant and dangerous cage in which to live.

>>9308891
Prison wasn't bad at all and I went to the toughest one in my state for a race related crime. I'm 6 foot 1 and 160 lbs so I'm not big or anything. I literally had one of the best times of my life there or at least an experience I'll never forget.

500-600ml of gin per night here.

Does that qualify as alcoholism?

>>9308891
>Just try to be as emotionless
Finally something I can be good at.

>>9308929
>prison wasn't bad
Oh fuck off.

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Co/ck/tail bartender here. You are my only company on this board. And that drives me to alcoholism

>>9308939
I mean the saying goes 'it's not how much you drink it's how you drink" but at that volume yeah you probably have a drinking problem.

have you tried stopping for a bit?

Can anyone give some insight what it is like being an alcohol beyond 30? I have been one since 23 or so, and turn 30 in a few months. Told myself I would have my shit together long before this point but surprise surprise that hasn't happened. I can feel that I am not who I am used to be - sleep is worse, joints ache, sight isn't as good, and I feel tired a lot of the time. I realise a lot of this has to do with alcohol, does the decline get a lot worse as you get older?

>>9308513
It gets to the point where you are too embarassed to bring the cans/boxes out of your place. At least for me. Because that would be everyday. A large amount.

>>9309106
two parts to it. social/work life suffers. you end up not getting degrees you planned on. you lost friends and dont make friends due to isolation and drunken texts/calls/emails/no shows.

healthwise its harder to recover the next day the older you get. 2-3 days of drinking beer kept me in bed most of yesterday feeling bad. mild withdrawals just from that. if i did 3-4 or 4-5 days and drank liquor in the mix i would be unable to taper down and would have to visit the hospital for medication.

Sup anons, I'm 2 days sober and I got rid rid of my bed in order to have space to sleep on the floor and various other things.
I think this is is a good move? It feels like one.
How is everyone doing? I've been doing some some heavy digging today and am pretty tired........can't think about drinking........

>>9303500
show bobs and vagene

how do you guys deal with hangovers

ive got a lot of feelings to drown but after 3 days straight drinking every night i cant even eat anymore on the 3rd day because i feel so sick

everytime i take painkillers i puke so much and feel worse, just the headache gone

i dont want to drink in the mornings to ease the feeling because i sometimes have stuff to do

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It's 1pm east coast and I am finally starting to work a buzz up. New day, new 1.75l. Before passing out I drove to Wally World and bought a 7qt crockpot and left some chili on overnight. Stellar job, drunk me.
Pic semi-related, but I am the man who steals your lighters.

>>9309321
al/ck/s don't get hangovers.

I'm very drunk. Just mailed her >>9306868 again.
Laughing as I type this.
I'm going to die

>>9309373
fuck off if you get blackout drunkyou do have a hangover

>take benzo because want to drink and sleep for meeting tomorrow
>go buy alcohol and go to meeting hungover and probably take benzo anyway
What the fuck do I do

>>9309395
Bullshit. I haven't been sober long enough to have a hangover for years. Withdrawals, for sure, but hangovers are not the same beast.

>>9309405
Drink before you go.
I go to even court hearings with at least 500ml of vodka in me or I'm a complete mess.

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You wake up in finland. Even the cheapest pint of vodka costs 15 euros. You can't buy alcohol stronger than 4.7% from grocery stores and have to go to a special government run shop to buy the good stuff. What method would you use to end your life?

>>9309091
Yeah, but I don't see a point in stopping. Hate myself too much to ever date. Just watching the calendar pages flip until it's ovee at this point

>>9309420

Welcome to Ontario in Canada

>>9309356
>driving drunk
>stealing lighters


I hope you die you piece of shit

>>9309420
In the UK, unpolluted apple juice from Tesco costs 65p/litre. A 33L fermentation bucket with airlock costs £15, and a sachet of cider yeast costs £2.
Not strong enough? Google moonshine still.

>>9309436
Was buzzed at best when I'd driven. I know my limits like any functional al/ck/. Proceeded to get shithoused and make chili upon returning home. I woke up and my house smells fantastic.
But I do agree with you about the lighter thing. It's subconscious, but I leaned into it one day and started putting them all in one place. I think I may be selectively hoarding them or something.
I hope you're having a nice day there, bud.

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>>9309438
Pic 1/2

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>>9309468
>>9309438
Pic 2/2

Bubbling like a madman. Shiz is gun b gud gud gud

>>9309356
>I am the man who steals your lighters

This is why I never take my eyes off someone when they're using my lighter. No distractions or anything until they give it back. God damn thieves.

>>9309462
Just kill yourself right now

>>9309482
You are very wise to do so. Most of the time it isn't even intentional, just force of habit. I just tell everyone I know not to buy bics, just buy the oddly shaped ones that people realize they're holding because they feel funny.

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>>9309486
Holy shit you guys really like your lightaroos, huh?

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Any of you work in a liquor store? I get everything at cost and I recently cut back because I was going deeper off the deep end.

>>9309438
I have brewed all kinds of stuff and freeze distilled but my freezer that could go down to -35c and even lower during winter broke so i quit brewing as well. Anyways the whole process is a pain in the ass.

>>9309496
Not him, but I really hate hearing about people drunk driving.
> muh but I know my limits and muh light buzz
You're an alckie. If you knew your limits you wouldn't be one. The next time you drunk drive, I hope you only kill yourself, and not some innocent.

>>9308939
Absolutely. I'd bet money on you getting withdrawals if you stopped.

>>9309373
What did you say to her this time?

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>>9309529
I hear you dude, and will take that to heart.
But Jesus Christ there's a difference between drunk and just buzzed enough to fight the shakes. How do you think half this thread gets to work?
That being said, the next time I pick up my keys I will think of you, anon.

>>9309555
"There are so many things I want to say to you. About which I wish with you to converse; but I hit an emotional and moral brick wall, you're MARRIED. It's ALL OVER, isn't it? We can never again speak about the naughty things we used to secretly enjoy. The things I'd wanted to intensify TEN-FOLD had we coupled.
It's all over, isn't it beautiful little blondie?
Fuck me running.

[name removed]
You're gone
You're...[name]... the real deal...
And... you're... you're really gone
Over
The passion will melt into nothingness

I'll never find another like you.

Is it any wonder I fucking drink?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tpaSENzmLgQ

Fuck you.

X "

;_;

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>>9309546
Well idgaf drunk and hiding my lighter in my bathroom tonite

>>9309583
oh shit man
you need to get your shit together real bad, it's beyond unhealthy

>>9309585
You look great, dude. No homo.

>>9309585
Dude if that is your bathroom I am jealous as fuck.

>>9309583
Man that break up really hit you hard didn't it. It fucking sucks losing someone you thought you were going to stay with, especially when there is no chance of ever reconnecting. Think that's what tipped me over the edge desu. Pouring another one just thinking about all that shit actually.

You gotta stop messaging her though man, it will make things worse. Take care of yourself

>>9309585
heh you kind of look like a brown me

>>9308701
Everyone I've met in real life who I just flat out say to them I've never had a girlfriend, they all act like it isn't even weird at all and say things like "that's just a lot of time you don't have to regret." I've had it happen multiple times.

>>9307044
One is too many and a thousand's not enough.

>>9308575
So far I'm at once every 2-3 days, working on making it a steady every 3 days and eventually space it out to every 4 days. I definitely believe I can do it, just takes time. In truth, I can afford to drink every 2-3 days no problem but I just know doing it that frequently is really unhealthy. Better to space it out, besides, it'll save me a fuckload of money. Go down from $200-300 a month in booze to more like $150-200 a month, and if I can get down to weekly (I guess basically weekend drinking) I'll be at basically $100 every month and a half. That's what... basically $70 a month? Fuck-all. Basically $400 for half a year. A year and a half ago, I was basically drinking $50 every half-week. Essentially $400 per month, so yeah, I'm on the up-and-up. Good thing too; best get on top of it while I'm still in my 20s.

>Sober for 3 days
>Start feeling better
>Still some brain fog but its only been 3 days
>Hands are still shaking mildly, but not full on DT
>Have very little desire to drink at the moment
>Roommate comes home with two cases of beer

What do?

>>9309581
I'm not him, but I lost a cool-as-fuck uncle to a drunk driver. Taught me a secret location for bananas in Donky Kong Country back in probably 1995-6 or so. I recall he passed away in '97. That brief moment with him felt more fatherly than the entirety of my experience with my father, and that fucker is still alive (to my knowledge) and still a fucking disappointment. Drinking (or buzzed) driving is fucked up, absolutely fucked up.

>>9308376
Ruminations.

>>9308747
Of course you can post links to whatever you want. It's not spam/malware. Just specify it's NSFW, but it's not even necessary. This is 4chan.

>>9309106
There isn't a hard line at 30. It's just that you're poisoning yourself, and your body is suffering. It just gets worse, slowly, and doesn't stop getting worse when you feel horrible, doesn't stop getting worse when it's worse than hell, doesn't stop getting worse when your organs stop working. Even death by alcoholism is horribly slow and painful.
It's always time to stop, but the sooner the better.

>>9309192
What?

>>9309583
Thanks for the read.
Have you tried EMDR or hypnosis?

>>9310090
Tell him you're an alkie, you quit 3 days ago and he's an asshole if he offers you any.
If it makes you want to drink, he's an asshole for bringing beers this soon in your sobriety.

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>>9310283
Nah, hes not the type to shove beers down my throat or peer pressure me in any way. He was just celebrating the fact that our shared car got fixed. One of the reasons why I took a break in the first place is because we ran out of booze

On a side note, does anyone have any experience with how long it takes for alcohol tolerence to go down? Like a week minimum, right? I'm used to drinking at least a 6 pack of pounders per day.

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Go to bar now, y/n? Sorry erryone, gonna be a regular here after lurking now. Lets talk about those al/ck/ problems later, right? It's all good now, it flows. No time fir melancholism right now, that comes later. t.fins_kitz

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>>9308929
>t. pic related

been drinking 750ml of shitty bourbon every other night. Is it too late to save me?

This is a stupid question, but would anyone here consider a single beer or two after a while of sobriety to be "falling off the wagon"?

>>9309583
This is stupid as shit and you sound like a scorned woman with borderline personality disorder everytime you talk about this bitch. Then you use the excuse that drinking made you message her when in fact it's just you and your fucked up brain pulling this shit. You were pathetic before you were a drunk. Get your shit together because she's moved on. A drunk mind lives in the past. Take more days of abstinence and reflect on whether or not you really think it would work with this woman after all this time.

I was hung up on a chick and called her a grand total of three times. As the years go by you slowly start to realise how little you even would have cared and that you would have drifted apart anyway. Plus yours is much younger than you. Still growing and changing.

>>9311575
>Still growing and changing.

Aww man why'd you have to say that? You're just gonna give him hope that someday shes gonna "mature" and come running back to him.

I was with you up until that point