Let's fix my life

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First paragraph of each number is also a tl;dr.

1. I want to spend all my time sitting around drinking coffee but I want to be rich and spend all my time doing fulfilling and intellectual and fun work, which I'll need to work extremely hard to do, which makes me feel like I'm missing out if I ever do it.

And I recently moved to a giant city with better weather and much more to see. How do I fix this?

2. I'm 26 and have never had attention from women, flirted with one, or done anything with one at all, except for escorts.

I have zero friends. I'm not a Chad so I can't use online dating. I see women as living lives on easy mode.

3. My job is boring. I work in an office and it took a few days for me to be the ugly loser loner beta pathetic guy of my section of the office that nobody talks to. This is typical but it's the first time I've had an office job with other young people. Has anyone else had this experience?

4. I feel like every viewpoint is an attack on me. I trust my intuitions, intelligence, and taste. There are ten trillion people saying you have to read boring old books (and claim they're incredible) or else you're an idiot. "Go through SICP before you do any programming or you're an idiot. Follow current events or you're an idiot. Drink coffee or tea. Go travelling. Use Facebook." How do people cope?

It seems that any attempt to live life according to your tastes gets you ostracised or deemed stupid. I know companies push this to sell shit, but most people are pseudo intellectuals that worship academia and the media as a cult, along with creating their own cults. I simply want to read 10 pages of Great Expectations and throw the book away out of boredom without being called stupid.