>had 10 day holiday from 18 hour per week part time job >went

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>had 10 day holiday from 18 hour per week part time job
>went by in a flash
>can't motivate myself to stop binge eating or work hard during my copious amount of free time (learning programming etc)
>zero social life
>went through university with zero social life, not even acquaintances and never done anything with women, including asking one out, except for having prostitutes
>had zero interest in my degree subject, I did less than 40 hours of work in the final 1.5 years (not including sitting in lectures) but managed to escape with a 2:1
>lift lots of weights but I don't have a Chad face so I'll never get attention from women
>entertainment and art is just Chads and Staceys trying to blackmail me by saying I'm "close minded" and "Not cultured" if I don't spend free time on it
>too autistic to pass graduate job interviews that are no doubt soul crushingly dull anyway
>streets crawling with hot university students that I gawk at through the bus windows knowing I'll never even talk to them and they get dicked by 10 Chads a night
>have no productive interests - I only go to the gym, read books, or browse the internet
>my part time retailcuck job is absolutely humiliating and I'm either dreading it on free days or feeling like the day is ruined because of a 6 hour shift
>tfw I am unironically nihilistic
>tfw every social situation I was ever in (particularly every job I've had) ends the same way- after the initial welcome I don't talk to anyone apart from the bare minimum and I slowly come to hate everyone as I assume they hate me for my non-normieness or ugliness; the quickest this happened was over the course of an open day I attended