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Too early for an NZ thread? New Zealand thread.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 316
Thread images: 76

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Too early for an NZ thread?

New Zealand thread.
>>
nelson/blenheim
got a call from a really angry /b/tard just before fuck he was mad hes a bitch to his mum and dad too
>>
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>>583851664
Why'd he call you?
>>
why are IDs even back?
>>
>>583851874
>txting him to come to nz threads all week no im busy i have a life he says
>i mention the german anon wants to meet him
>12 missed calls 45 txt
>virgin confirmed
>>
Pay day today. Yeeeeh boi.
>>
>>583851953
rip idbro
>>
why are IDs even back?
>>
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Hello, boys!
>>
why are IDs even back?

>>583852242
what happenes to idbro?
>>
nelson/blenheim still keen for someone to come up and hang
>>
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>>583852068
Fuck you make me laugh, something.
>>
Not so great day today.

>Haven't been drinking for two weeks since I got out of hospital.
>Go to put something in the recycling.
>See empty bottles of vodka from the last time I was drinking.
>One has about half a mouthful still at the bottom.
>Pick up bottle, take the cap off.
>Oh I remember that smell.
>Swallow dregs, it feels so great for a moment.
>Realise how pathetic this is, get ashamed.
>Wander around rest of the day feeling nervy and wanting a drink.

I didn't go get one, but I think I will eventually.
>>
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Cricket went to an add break in aussie. Audio kept playing in NZ, people swearing.
>>
>>583852452
idbro is kill
>>
>>583852592
its true he did and he started txting me while at work 10 feet up a ladder hes like hes a 7 year old kid his parents are way to protective of him i feel really bad for him :/
>>
8042 reporting bored as fuck
>>
>>583852750
rip idbro
>>
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Never too early

Chch in it
>>
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>>583851242
Got money. What do?
>>
Reporting In.

What is the deal with this captcha shit. If I'm logged out of my google + account, does that mean I can bypass captchas? The problem with that is that if you log out of your google + account, you log out of your Youtube account.
>>
>>583852449
Hey GW

New captcha is weird
>>
>>583852936

Play monopoly with it
>>
>>583852936
come to picton and pick me up and we can go get mr protective parents
>>
>>583852936
score some P
>>
>>583852612
No, don't do it. Think of your future, dammit!

>>583852832
He's your mate though and that's what matters!
>>
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>>583853063
New captcha is annoying
>>
>>583852612
You're the blood vom guy, right?
>>
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http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/330027
>>
>>583852924
Where in chch?
>>
>>583853140
>rerolling for this
>>
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>>583852936
What's it from?
>>
>>583853223
yes but i feel like i wanna kidnap him take funnel jim beam down his throat and teach him to have a good time but he was so angry on the phone
>MATE I DONT NO WHAT THE FUCK YOUR PLAYING AT
>hes a real virgin virgin
>>
Why are IDs even back?
>>
>>583853413
Today's sales. I'm an escort.
>>
>>583853527
how much do you charge for a bj?
>>
>>583853307
Nah that's not me. I was never that bad.
>>
>>583853134
Hey, bae.

Yes, it is. It feels like we're being punished.
>>
>>583853624
$40
>>
>>583852936
>Passenger 57

>Wesley Snipes

>Go to casino

>Always bet on black
>>
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>>
>>583853527
Are you open to feet related, stuff?

Everyone don't be shy. Ask the anon questions
>>
>>583853670
fuck really? that's alright ay.
im guessing you are a female?
>>
>>583853503
>hes a real virgin virgin
Experiment with him, then and then afterwards go and get McDonalds.
>>
>>583853763
I like to keep my dollar values/costs even to $20 notes as much as possible.
>>
>>583853352
Edgeware/ St Albans bro

This about forming the gang we were discussing last night?
>>
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>>583853624
>>583853746
guys im a grill too
>>
>>583853876
Don't be bullshitting you weaboo
>>
>>583853876
I don't care, fuck you.

>>583853860
pls be in london
>>
>>583853634
Then why such restraint, sir?
>>
>>583853860
how much for full service?
>>
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>>
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>>583853503
Do it!
>>
>>583853876
Are you a hooker?
>>
Mango
>>
why are IDs even back?
>>
>>583853640
It's strange and unusual

Like the fact my ID almost is homo

I don't like it
>>
>>583854007
London, like in England?

>>583854031
Usually $180-$450 depending on the fullness of the service. $800 to stay the full night
>>
>>
>>583854029
Keep blacking out and going to hospital. Just getting worse if I keep at it.
>>
>>583854168
>Like the fact my ID almost is homo
Just like you're almost homo, homo.
>>
>>583853876
Face looks like the pizza Hutt $5 pick up with minimal toppings
>>
chch reporting in
>>
Banana
>>
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>>583854248
>>
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>>583854249
That's not a good time. I'm worried by friends drinking, he's on the whiskey every night, getting wasted.
>>
>>583854182
>Paying a hooker $800 so you can feel loved
>>
>>583854450
It happens.
>>
>>583854182
what's the weirdest fetish some guy/girl has asked you to do?
>>
>>583854508
How often do you get paid to give Footjobs and how much?
>>
Last night the fourth thread reached image limit before post limit.
>>
>tfw almost out of chewing gum.
>>
>>
>>583854182
Wow, that's too buku
>>
femanon here bring all your money to a random spot i promise sex and drugs and etc bring all your moneys
>>
>>583854607
>tfw full pack of chewing gum

I love my life sometimes
>>
What the fuck is wrong with all you cunts, how has this not already been said yet?

>>583852936
>>583853340
>>583853527
>>583853670
>>583853860
>>583853995
>>583854182
>>583854508

Tits or GTFO.
>>
>>583854602
Because someone couldn't handle not getting the 300th post two threads in a row.

>he is an eternal inspiration
>>
Good evening lads, anyone in Auckland selling any ritalin or dex?
>>
>>583854249
Ohhh, you're that bloke

Hey bro

Maybe drink with a cobba to keep an eye on you
>>
NZ women don't shave properly
>>
>>583854749
Here this is for you faggot. I'm trying to have a civilized conversation with an escort. why do you have to be a fuckstick thundercunt and ruin it?
>>
>>583854674
Don't listen to this guy, he just wants to hang out and possibly have maccas
>>
>>583854731
>I love my life sometimes
>sometimes

>>583854749
Because anon hasn't actually said whether anon is diddle or vagina.
>>
>>583854359
That's cold, bruh

Cold.
>>
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>>583854674
This sounds safe... where are you?
>>
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>>583854508
Oh I have no doubt.

I just couldn't imagine paying someone for sex and a sleep over. Do you tell each other spooky stories?
>>
>>583854561
Probably the most strange thing would be a golden shower, this is usually done in a shower. The guy or girl will kneel on the floor and I will sort of sit on their shoulders and... wee.

>>583854583
Not very often, I think the last one was a bit of a combo-deal, so not sure what I charged for it.

>>583854749
No.
>>
>>583854750
Still impressive. Never seen it happen before.
>>
>>583854787
Come to Tauranga.
>>
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Evening;
>>
>>583854954
alley between the burger fuel and tab wellington come alone and has the moneys
>>
>>583854749
Fuck cunt, you're right

Apologies
>>
>>583854959
Well, whatever the client wants really, I might be woken up in the night for repeat sex, or morning sex. The worst one is when a guy wants to be woken up by a blowjob... It is difficult to wake up early enough after being ridden all night,
>>
>>583854960
>4chan
>/b/
>strange thing is a golden shower
>>
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>>583855101
I'm not in Wellington. Maybe next time.
>>
>>583854912
You'll be fine, we're all friends here.

>>583854974
You impress me.
>>
>>583855228
Fuck you heaven, you retarded faggot
>>
>>583855228
Go away heaven no one likes you
>>
>>583855179
wait... m/f?

>>583855228
keep in mind the anon isn't prostituting themselves within threads of /b/
>>
why are IDs even back?
>>
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>>583854870

>Civilized conversation with a prostitute.
>Civilized
>Prostitute

Fucking kek. This image is from a thread 1 hour ago where OP claimed he paid random prostitutes $10 to take a pic of their spread vag, then told 'em to fuck off.

>>583854882

Who the fuck would hire a male prostitute. Fucking lol.

>>583854960

>No

GTFO then.
>>
>>583855092

AD

how's it bro
>>
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Chch here
>>
>>583855330
Not one of you faggots have demanded tits
>fucking cancer
>>
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>>583855179
So what do you think of what you do? Do you think it is liberating in anyway? I'm not trying to be snarky. I'm just genuinely curious about how a hooker that I will never meet views her place in the world and society.
>>
>>583855461

>>583854749
>>
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>>583854882
>>
>>583855323
Okay
>>
>>583855414
jesus fucking christ. that's a crack whore not an escort
>>
>>583855417
All good, scraping a shank at the moment.
>>
>>583855534
>Say its once
>never says it again
you should be spamming tits or gtfo
>>
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>tfw you have to wait till winter to post Let it Go lyrics again
>>
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>>583855701
>>>/b/
>>
>>583855701

>>583855414
>>
>>583855534
you done good i hate when this happens it makes us look bad as a country moot hates australia not us
>>
>>583855414
People actually do hire male escorts quite a lot, it's mostly dudes though.


>>583855009
Too far away mang ;_;
>>
>>583852936

top fucking kek that you wrote it on the back of a blank Warehouse receipt. Do you work for The Warehouse faggot?
>>
>>583855429
Pump, pump pump

Pump, pump pump it up

What area bro?
>>
>>583855363
Me? I'm a girl. A Femanon as you would call it.

>>583855461
This guy has
>>583854749

>>583855527

It can definitely be entertaining. The most concerning thing is definitely safety, can never be too sure what the 'plan' is for the night/day/morning...

>>583855930
Nope, just bought some stuff there yesterday
>>
>>583855009

Go to bed Phil Rudd.
>>
>>583855645
Who unchained you from the clothesline?
>>
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>>583855706
Bruh.

>tfw It was winter in New Zealand during the Girl's Day summer party
>>
>>583856030

>Still hasn't posted tits
>Still hasn't left the thread

Pick one.
>>
>>583856030

Show the branch and time.
I could probably find a CCTV still of you somehow
>>
>>583856030
Then post tits or your just an attention seeking slut
>protip not girl
>>
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>tfw you drink less during the summer
>>
>>583856208

>attention seeking slut

No, it's

>attention seeking neckbeard
>>
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>>583856152
every day

grills day
>>
>>583855941
Papanui
>>
Just what I was looking for!

Me and some friends just flew in to queenstown from aus today, sitting at the hostel right now keen as to smoke some weed, any locals able to help us out? Down to a buy large amount too if that helps
>>
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>>583856151
My buddy gosnel
>>
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>>
>>583856408
>tfw Darling is still my warm down song on the walk back from the gym
>>
Reminder that weed is unhealthy for your body.
>>
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>>583856072
It's the reeeepoooow mayin
>>
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>>583856518
It's Gjef!
>>
>>583856518

Time stamp.
>>
>>583856383
Lol
>>583856030
Post tits or gtfo
>Land whale?
>>
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>>583856518
shame about the face
>>
>>583856072
Can't, took too much P.
>>
>>583856418
Nice

Did you go PHS?
>>
>>583856518
my watch is broken mind writing the date and time on them
>>
>>583856518
Whose this semen demon?
>>
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>people don't know how to reverse image search
>>
New captcha is shit. Now I gotta click more shit. Goddamnit google.
>>
>>583856602

Muh bodyguards
>>
>>583856436
Base backpackers?
>>
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>>583856739
>>
>>583856518

>no timestamp
>2 year old pic
>>
>>583856890

>An original time stamp request

I like this.

>>583856951

>Expecting us to do the work

Why the fuck do you think we request time stamps, faggot?
>>
>>583856787

Muh teeth!
>>
>>583856878
No I just moved here a couple of years ago
>>
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>>
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THE

CAPTCHA

NEVER

BOTHERED

ME

ANYWAY
>>
>>583856487
Oh, I see
>>
>>583857020
chch wondering whats happening with all the people from yesterdays thread?

also fuck captcha, not posting much now
>>
>>583856951
yeah i just did. Tbh i just wanted to call her a semen demon
>>
>>
>>583857136
Did you know that hens collect the teeth of their victims?
>>
>>583857013
What?
>>
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>>583857128
>typing out a whole post + captcha
>literally 2 clicks to reverse search
kill yourself
>>
At prize giving at opihi college at temuka browsing /b/. Fucking. Boring
Captcha: I'm not a robot.
>>
>>583857150
Nice one

Be thankful you didn't
>>
>>583857020

Havnt tried base, all the people here at YHA are too old/not smokers
>>
>>583857254
Gosh, she really is a whore, posting her picture everywhere.
>>
>>583857397
Who are these K-pop girls, they're cute?
>>
>>583857234
I'm guessing they're late bro
>>
Time stahmp whore
>>
>>583857557
Yes
>>
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>>583857397

>Expecting me to find this tab again after closing the reverse image search

Get fucked mate.
>>
>>583857453
Is it that bad? I went to a pretty shit school in new plymouth. Ended up dropping out and never finished school
>>
>>583857339

Yes

>>583857347

I'll kill you and your daughter.
>>
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>>583857691
what is open link in new window?
>>
>>583857595
>>583857595
Emilie Chartrand

Look her up yourself

>>583857691
Ctrl+Shift+T
>>
>>583857454
Hit that shit

I always stay there over the local hotels/motels

Shit gets loose

Pro tip: don't piss or shit or throw anything off the balcony down the alleyway, they will track you down, snitches galore
>>
>>583857691
It should be the first tab to the left of the google image search tab
>>
>>583857749
>your daughter.
Hey, nah, you leave Suzanne Paul out of this!
>>
>>583857778

>Literally 2 clicks
>Open Link in New Window

Pick one, faggot.
>>
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>tfw listening to T-ara - Absolute First Album
>>
>>583857778
MMB or Ctrl+click
>>
>>583857703
Mehhh, it wasn't like Aranui or Linwood, it was okay

Still would send kids to burnside for a better education if I had kids doe
>>
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>>583857902
>>
>>583858039
Good talk about education bro
>>
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CATCH ME ON FIRE
>>
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>>583857749
Costnerrrrrr

Sorry man drugs got me dumb as fuck
>>
>tfw
>>
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>>583857240
>>
Just got here, was drunk. Sorry Chch bros. Trying to organise our w/e meet. Who is keen for a meet out west in avonhead/Ilam are?
>>
>>583858416
What's your point?
>>
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>>583858146
I don't even know if sarcasm or not
>>
>>583857810

>Posts some random slut's tits
>Admits it's not even her after getting called out
>Still posting in thread without posting timestamped tits.
>Being this new
>>
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>tfw you've already reset your last.fm plays twice after making an account yesterday
>>
>>583858251

I'm tellin' Angus.
>>
>>583858534
You've enlightened me on the schooling in chch. I'll hopefully be able to make a decent decision about my child's future
>>
>>583858716

>weibo.com

Why am I not surprised.
>>
>>583858693
so its a girl dude its a guy we all no it
>>
>>583858287
>>
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>>583858869
>he doesn't know one of the biggest social networking sites in the world
>>
>>583858693
Yeah fuck this shit
>>
>>583859018

>Weaboos unite!
>>
>>583858721
Bro...

Don't
>>
>>583859018
>>583858869
>>583858716
>Weibo
>Weabo
>Weabo
>Weaboo

Figured it guys.
>>
>>583858869
>>583859272
Last.fm isn't a weeb site you fucking uneducated child
>>
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>>583859272
stop replying to me

you're embarrassing yourself
>>
>>583859272
That guy is an asian though......
>>
>>583858820
Oh haha

It's /b/

You never know what is elaborate ruse
>>
>>583859348

Yeah you'd prefrer I tell Malcolm... but he'd forget.
>>
>christmas shopping done
>university results received - straight b's
>switched work from full time to part time
>tfw
Goddamit this was a long year
>>
>>583859426

Look at the picture in the post I quoted, dipshit.

>>583859443

See >>583859398
>>
>>583858721
Reminded me of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEkZxaoebvk
>>
>>583859491
Bro, he's teasing, he doesn't have any kids.

He has turtles for fucks sake.
>>
>>583859550
Precisely

Hang on...

What are we talking about again

I forgot

Where's my drugs
>>
>>583859018

Is there a way to work this site in english?
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWxEwdGpIPQ
>>
Christy Kelly is in this thread.
>>
>>583859491
What area are you? How old are you?
>>
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i'm scared to go for the get
>>
>>583859627
Congratulations anon bro

You made it
>>
>>583851664
if you mention blenheim, you're not from nelson
>>
>>583859758

YOu mean,,,

Where's my drums
>>
>>583859748
Of... The ninja variety?
>>
>>583859748
I'll have kids one day. Don't be rude
>>
>>583859841

Who the fuck is Christy Kelly? Sounds like a chick's name. She should post timestamped tits.

>>583860006

Rekt
>>
>>583859685

Phil Rudd has no friends
>>
>>583859967
why hasnt moot disabled heaven hes disabled everything except that dude fuck grow some balls and tell your parents they cant finger ur ass anymore
>>
>>583860180

When heaven is disbaled, /b/ will walk the earth.
>>
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s-should i start dumping again ;_;
>>
>>583859863
Edgeware/St Albans

346 months old
>>
>>583860015
>Of... The ninja variety?
No the delicious variety.

>>583860042
>I'll have kids one day. Don't be rude
I'm telling mum!
>>
>>583859975
Well yeah

That one
>>
>>583860389
Ok
>>
>>583860314
no
>>
>>583860314
>>
does anyone here know miss alice irl?
>>
>>583860507

No but one anon did a few weeks back. I could dox her if I felt like it.
>>
>>583860317
So you're not a little kid? That's unusual
>>
>>583860389
Damn

Wanted splinter to train me
>>
>>583860637
i'm more interested in forest nymph.

willing to travel to raep
>>
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where my Taurangay bros @?
>>
>>583860096
I knew you were in here Christy.

You read as very macho and aggressive online.. unlike in real life
>>
should i start posting my dating convos and letting people roll to decide what i say??
>>
>>583860668
Nah bro

How old are you?

The guy at the servo said I had 5350 cents change today

Shit cracked me up, I tried to copy his joke
>>
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>>583860745

wat
>pic related

>>583860870

also wat
>>
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>>583860495
word

i should've waited just in case i missed 300
>>
>>583860945
Sure mate, go ahead
>>
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Palmy fag checking in.
>>
>>583860730
>to train me
I'll train you.

>>583860779
>where my Taurangay bros @?
There is no such place, you are making things up, again.
>>
>>583861005

>Missed 300
>Missed

>Gonna steal dat shit for 3rd time in a row.
>>
>>583860968
I'm 312 months or something
>>
Auckland still dry as fuck?
>>
Music convos were sick as fuck last night

If Jimmy Barnes does another winery tour I'm going this time

Don't know why but that shit sounds good

With pingas of course
>>
>>583860180
not refuting that you live in shithole blenheim
>>
>>583861226
ye
>>
By all means I haven't fucken moved in months. You know where to find me. Do it. Lmfao.
>>
>>583861128
What is your discipline
>>
>>583861229
>With pingas of course
Imagine the cougars there, oi.
>>
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>>583860992
do u even mfc?

dis bitch. i watched alice and her suck each others titties once
>>
Still In queenstown, still need buds

Any help on this matter would be much appreaciated
>>
>>583861229
Pingas and Jazz cougars, amirite
>>
>>583861348
The art of faggotry.
>>
>>583861197
Oh yeah

Not a youngun either
>>
>>583861259
>refuting
>>
>>583861353
Ya damn fuckin right
>>
>>583861415
Go to a bar, get a bit tipsy, talk to people and ask "What are buds like here? We hear they're pretty good?".

That will set you up ok.
>>
>>583861226
yep
>>
>>583861427
Ohh yeaahhhh
>>
>>583861593
wot

That "I like you comment" is from me.

Is /b/ getting fucked with too or what?
>>
>>583861481
I prefer not to think about it. I'm not aging gracefully
>>
>>583861870
do you smoke meth?
>>
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>>583861691
>>583861307
>>
>>583861457
Haha
>>
>>583861384

>Do you even MFC

No, because if I want to blow a load, I want to blow a load. Not listen to some bitch say "C'mon, tip if you want me to continue", then stop because there's no guys desperate enough to pay a chick to get herself off in the room at that time, then sit there for another hour waiting for the next "goal" to be reached to start again. It already takes me nearly an hour as it is, I don't need to be making it longer by watching bitches be stupid.

>>583861828

>not knowing how quotes work

You quoted his post. That's why it says "(You)" for him. Jesus. Just like when you read this, it'll say "(You)" for you.
>>
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Watching embarrassing bodies. Circumcisions everywhere.
>>
>>583861870
How so?
>>
>>583861912
Yes
>>
>>583862092
faggot. quit that shit
>>
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>>583861828
if you guys arnt aware of whats moots doing your all fucking idiots who dont care about /b/
>>
This green tea is too hot
>>
>>583862203
Faggotry is the only way I can pay for it
>>
>>583862220
faker than Chinese made products bruhh
>>
>>583861229
what are pingas?
>>
>>583861959
>not knowing how quotes work
Fuck I feel stupid.

>because I am.

>>583861950
I can teach you but you seem to have a good handle on it already.

>lel
>>
>>583862220

>moot will remove /b/
>moot will sell 4chan without /b/
>thinking anyone would purchase 4chan without it's main board and expect to make money off it
>thinking moot is seriously that stupid

Toppest of keks.
>>
>>583862042
I dunno man. I found a wrinkle the other day
>>
>>583862349
>This green tea is too hot
ur too hot

>>583862471
Polynesian gingas.
>>
>>583862546
Yeah this.

Moot won't part with this piece of shit that he's taken
>>
>>583862220
Say it ain't so
>>
>>583861090
Greetings fellow Palmy fag.
What brings you to the land of cuckold?
>>
ill oost again in tje next thread and then ull get a pic. lol ;)
>>
>>583862471
PIngas are a colloquial term for ecstasy tablets
>>
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>>583862546
whats stupid is moot thinking anyones gonna buy 4chan with /b/ b is a liability /b/ has cost moots thousands of dollars and with the latest stuff going on soon millions
>>
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>>583862520
>>
Dunedin reporting
>>
>>583862730

m00t will part ways with 4chan eventually, but he won't be deleting anything when he does it. He would want to make money off the sale, not kill off any potential interest before even getting any.

>>583862905

>First post in the thread
>I'll post in the next thread and you'll get a pic

Who the fuck are you talking to lol

>>583862949

>Being stupid enough to think that this is real.
>>
>>583857938
what nationality are these bitches?
>>
>>583862672
Wrinkles are all shit

No big deal

Why is nutsack skin and elbow skin the same thing?
>>
>>583863156
all u cunts ofc
>>
Wtf is up with the captchas?? None of my comments are going through
>>
>>583863156
dudes hes being posting heaps look his posted today in a mood
>>
i keep it 300

like the romans

300 bitches
>>
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ROSA 300
>>
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>Stealing post #300 for the third thread in a row.


>>583862949
>>583863156

Pro-tip: Moot's posts don't have an Apple "Command" symbol in them, it has a picture of the 4chan logo.>>583863498
>>
>>583863391
I don't have a nutsack so I can't answer that question
>>
>>583862220
Yeah coz if /b closes down that's pretty much it for this sort of thing on the internet. Not like anything would take it's place or nuthin
>>
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>>583863525
>>583863526
BTFO
>>
>>583862726
>Polynesian gingas

Kek
>>
>>583863525
Well that is the last time i attempt something like that
>>
fuck, i was replying to 15+ comments and none of them went through! wtftttttttt
>>
>>583863561
Eunuch?
>>
new thread where?
>>
>>583863526
>>583863608

Lol damn. Haha.
Also dunno why it added that quote in at the end, but ohwell.

>>583863518

Look at the difference between the ID on that picture and on >>583862949
>>
>>583863742
Yes
>>
>>583863762

New Thread
>>583863821
>>
>>583863812
You Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie
>>
>>583863916
SORRY I WAS BORN LIKE THAT
Thread posts: 316
Thread images: 76


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