How do I get pussy?

dunno

your local shelter is a safe bet, they probably have strays up for adoption

>>18637004
my city doesn't whore our homeless out like that, might make em some money though, so it's not a terrible idea

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Reincarnation game.

>>18636997
Be born as a girl.
Or >>>/lgbt/

>>18637008
I think he mean't actual cats.

>>18636997
>go to Thailand
>get surgery
>voila

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>>18637248
>mean't
Oh lord

Buy it.

>>18637004
72 SEPTILLION reddits for you good sir!!!!

Money, obviously. No money, no women.

>>18637378
I've always wanted to get a hooker but I'm too afraid of it being a sting.

>>18637577
Your gov has much bigger problems than virgins paying for sex.

>>18637860
Yea, but local police don't have a much lower hanging fruit. Maybe teenagers with weed

>>18637860
Oh it's the whole, "Shouldn't you be catching terrorists instead of bothering me?!?!?" defense. Let me know when that works out for the first time.

>>18636997
Literally lower your standards.

- If you aren't hot, don't hang out with hot people as often. Try to surround yourself with less-attractive people (or just nobody if that's easier).

- Jerk off to porn of unattractive women (yes, old/fat/ugly. Trust me, this works surprisingly effectively) instead of super-hot unattainable women.

- Don't go on "porn tours" (log in / browse several different websites/collections' worth of videos and pictures for over an hour, find the perfect one/couple to finish to, nut, close over 30 tabs).

- Jerk off less in general. Try to cut it down to once every second day, then three times a week, then twice a week, with the eventual goal of once a week. This will usually increase your libido, and kick your sexual instincts into gear. Since your body/brain no longer expect regular sexual release every day, they start pumping you full of more testosterone (?) (hormones that make you more aggressive and confident, at any rate) to try and get you to have sex (since the brain can't really tell the difference between a fap orgasm and a sex orgasm, and just assumes the latter is how it happens).

Once less attractive people start to turn you on more, use an online dating site. Be open and honest. Try talking to girls you have some interest in so that you have interesting things to ask/talk about, BUT: make sure they're women who are slightly below your attractiveness or else you'll drop your spaghetti once she looks at you with those perfect eyes.

You have to not care if you let these ones go, so don't go for dream girls. These will not be permanent relationships, just ones that are more likely to work. You're just getting to know her in case she's worth a long-term deal, going on dates, taking it slow, and just generally dating her until it's time to fuck (usually several or more dates into it, depending on how ready she is to go). If she really likes you, she'll stick around even if you suck at sex and help you get better at it.

>>18638151
>>18638231
I cant imagine in what shithole you live if your police force really does dress officiers as fake sluts and then catch horny rich males and send them to jail.