Dating a girl with a kid

If you can't truly, 100% handle the fact that she has a kid, you need to get out of there. It's not fair on you, it's not fair on her, it's not fair on the kid.

Also stop letting what 4chan says get to you. No one's going to think you're 'some fool raising another's kid'. Grow the fuck up.

>>18635618
/thread

>>18635618
Honestly it has less to do with what 4chan thinks about the idea of being a stepchild than it does with raising a kid who is clearly of a different race and was born via IVF.

I'm concerned about treating my kids differently or having to be disowned by a kid who I might grow to adopt as my own when he searches for his birth father.

>>18635638
Why would he disown you, just treat him the same as you would your own, then when he's old enough you can explain to him his history.

>>18635638
tell your gf that the fact the kid is of a different race makes you uncomfortable. She will not dump you on the spot, probably.

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>>18635611
>dating a single mother
Single mothers are failure of nature. Stay away from them as far as possible. Not being able to keep her husband is symptom of shit personality, stupidity and poor judgement.

Run away from her asap. Even ugly fatty is better than single mom.

>>18635894
If her husband died it's obviously different.

>>18635903
I dont know the name of the film, but there was scene with
>well, you should have thinked twice before getting pregnant with a corpse

Also in op case it is clear as a day she cheated him (either he didnt want kids and she went and get sperm anyway or typically adultery and he has found out). Either case i wouldnt believe her a single word.

Unless op is super desperate and ugly, je certainly can do better.

>>18635894
She had married when she was at 17 and it was largely his fault as he started actively seeing other women and then prostitutes. The kid isn't his, it was born via IVF as he was impotent. He had apparently known about it and was fine with it but she initiated a divorce when he went from being a cheater to physically hitting her a couple of times.

>>18635787
It's less of a fear of him disowning me than dealing with him going out and trying to find his 'real father' who was a sperm donor. And it also has to do with me knowing that I'd treat the kid differently than my own.

>>18635912
>Unless op is super desperate and ugly, je certainly can do better.

I'm not 'desperate' but there many ways that's been exceptionally kind to me compared to other girls I've been with. Don't think I'm ugly but who knows.

>>18635611

odd circumstance i guess, i couldnt raise a girls kid unless her husband had died or something to that nature. otherwise to me its too much baggage

however its a case of you do you, if you have any and i mean any doubt, get out now. if you dont have doubt, go for it. dont let other people tell you what to do. if you guys have another kid together, just raise them both normally and when the non-biological one turns 15-18ish lightly break the truth.

to cover your ass if you guys get married, i would have a lawyer make up a document that if you guys split youre not responsible for her kids child support.

>>18635611
Eh...seems kind of silly to be honest if you actually do want kids anyway. But I don't like kids and probably wouldn't want to be a step mom just because of that, so I dunno. You could just have the kid call you by your name instead of dad to ward off confusion I guess.

>>18635638
Don't think the kid will disown you man...my mom divorced our step dad years ago and I still think of him as more of a father than my real father who wasn't there for me growing up.

>>18635611
Ethan?

>>18635611
>and has been the most no-nonsense person I've ever dated


Outside the nigger communities in the USA with their crazy standards, most single moms are pretty no-nonsense people, that is nothing special.

Think about it for a moment.

>>18636593
Thanks. I'm more curious about how stepkids view stepparents in the long run and whether they end up searching for some "lost connection".

>>18636603
Don't think she's desperate for cash or a baby daddy. She makes 80k/yr which is how she managed to afford the process. I'd like to think the attitude difference has more to do with the fact that she's put up with a bunch of crap from her ex.

>>18636676
>she's put up with a bunch of crap from her ex
And she didn't have to since the guy isn't bio dad.

Anyway I dated two and married one woman (ex's all) with children and do not do this. Your sole role is to provide male attention and occasional real penis since she hasn't the time to continue to casually recruit dick. You has no love available for you. She may be fond of you, think you a great guy, wants a male role model for her child but she will never make the relationship (you) her priority. Ever.

>>18636879
I've been told that this is the case with having children in general. From what one of my friends has told me once his wife had a kid he became secondary.

I'm fine with that and I'd think less of any woman who places their kids as a second priority. I'm going to assume she'd be the same with my own.

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>>18635611
If you feel uneasy or not 100% about it just get out senpai. She'd do the same if she felt anyway about you.

Besides chances are that because she has a kid she's going to wind up leaving you sexually unsatisfied. Kids are for people who've had plenty of preptime to tone down the flirting and risks and I doubt you're at that level. So you're not gonna get that blowjob in the car,you might not even get a blowjob and anal? GOOD ONE

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>Dating a girl with a kid

>>18636890
>secondary
You are missing one point here. When you have and want child (like really want), you consider him your future self, something so important you cant give a shit about how your wife treats you as secondary. Because by her caring about YOUR kid she cares about your future you.

And if you arent shit husband, you still can get your daily dose of cuddling easily. Your children arent something you compete with for resources. They are you, but "from future".

don't

>Also stop letting what 4chan says get to you. No one's going to think you're 'some fool raising another's kid'. Grow the fuck up.

You keep telling yourself that, cuck.

>>18636890
Ok fool. You'll find out the hard way.

>>18635611
> my wife's son

>>18635894
This OP.
Raising another mans child is the ultimate form of cucking.
Don't listen to these other liberal fags on here saying "grow up". They're just spineless retards who try to project their effeminate view on shit by telling others they're not mature for not wanting to get involved with damaged goods.

>>18635611
Did you know she had a kid from the start?

If all you want is pussy (that is all you should want from a woman with a kid) there should be no problem just never meet the kid since you will be bailing shortly.

If you have feelings for her (heaven help you if you fall in love) it will be a oneway. I won't even qualify it as a relationship because it isn't. You will put soooooo much more into this than she will ever be able to. To be fair, you cannot expect to be number one in her life if she is a decent mother but you will resent over time that you not only are not number one you are way down her list of priorities. I mean way down and despite everything you do for her and the kid it won't matter. You fulfill a role, thats all, she isn't looking to love a guy.

>>18637188
>women who have childeren dont care about having a partner for life anymore
Entirely false. You cant compare a kid to a partner. Entirely different forms of love and entirely different reasons for wanting either.

>>18637188
>To be fair, you cannot expect to be number one in her life if she is a decent mother but you will resent over time that you not only are not number one you are way down her list of priorities.

I don't really care to be the center of attention in everything though. I'm looking for a partner who I can depend on occasionally, not someone to mother me through life. I cook and clean for myself. I don't care about being tucked in or whatever else is supposed to be a "priority" for a man.

>>18637056
I get the meme of a 20 something girl who has a black guy's child and is looking for a guy making 6 figures to take over. That isn't the case. She makes enough to handle things on her own and basically told me that she knows she'll be raising him separately/differently from any future kids.


The biggest thing that bothers me are the potential problems that come up from dealing with a stepkid vs my own and what happens if it grows up and starts to wonder who the father is.

>>18637213
a partner and a father for her child of course she wants but what is always missing is there is no love for the man. Now, if the man is ok playing the role and never being really loved go for it.

>>18637278
You're missing the point here OP.
Another man has dumped his semen into your girlfriend, leaving behind HIS genetic material. You will raise that kid to carry on his bloodline, not yours. Doesn't matter if it was IVF or whatever retarded shit you said.
She's also can't be the most stable woman if she's willing to put a complete strangers semen inside of her.
I mean do whatever you want but I would never fucking do that in a million years. The only situation I could see myself raising another mans child is if it were a relatives kid and they died or some shit.

>>18637278
OP, I'm not a high maintenance guy at all and fiercely independent and why I took multiple shots at this. What I am trying to get you to understand is there is not anything left for her to give you. Lets say you want to be a parent and ok with providing for a child not yours but you will never be a co parent. Every decision is hers, she may ask for your input but you have no say.

>>18635611
Single mothers typically become no-nonsense because that's the trait most women develop when they got into motherhood, man. Not something really special if I had to say.

For your own sanity in long term, I suggest you don't become that kid's stepdad. I take it that you don't have any issues with your fertility, right? Which mean you'll be able to spread your bloodline further.

And that could potentially make you clash with the kid in long time, you'll view them in different lights, especially if you've got another kid from your sperm.
Moreover, the woman is a single mother whom let herself impregnated by some another guy and in the end couldn't defend her marriage with her previous impotent husband.

It's like shiststorm with potential of regular life-draining dramas and would only end with broken homes and bank accounts.

I'm trying to convince a single mom to date me right now. She's not entirely open to dating but she's seeing that I care about her. She always remarks that I'm the only one who helps her out and stuff. We've known each other for years. As fucked up as it sounds, I can see myself being the stepdad to her two kids one day.

>>18637290

don't care about that. not OP but I'd love to just have a family at this point.

>>18638120
>convince
When you have to type this,you're just making a mistake. You should never have to convince a woman of jackshit single mother or not. Lay down what you want to do and if she makes any excuses you need to leave her ass since she is wasting time that could be better spent with another woman. You may not be just as much of a wanted item but you're still a wanted item so act like it. Never ever get into a situation where it's like you're competing for a girls feelings,it's absolutely never,not,double negative going to work like you think it is. They do NOT build affection for you through nice, helpful acts.

>>18635611
>I don't want people in public to think I'm some fool raising another's kid.

Unless you're planning on taking your step-kid for a trip around the internet, that's not actually an issue people have in real life.

>>18638187
Fucking this, a woman either likes you or she doesn't. Don't waste your time.

>>18637188
>she isn't looking to love a guy.

Oh look it's this same old horseshit, where people pretend that loving one thing means you can't love another.

>>18638187
Thank you

>>18635894
wat,I've been with this one glow for about five weeks now & we're doing just fine her kids on the other hand are completely in the dark about our "real" relationship

>she's 45
>I'm 27
>she has three kids that are 27-32-21
>family is stone-cold mexican

It seems weird but what can I say we found that small bit of happiness in each other

>>18638187

yea but can't i eventually win her over? i told her how i feel and she wants to "take it slow and see what happens" but she keeps initiating conversation and stuff.

i really love her familia

>>18635618
fpbp

most women advice on 4chan is generated by beta permavirgins with no social skills.

>>18635894
Wow, what a terrible human being you are! Im assumimg this narritive doesnt work the same with single dads?

>>18638465
What is the ratio of single dad : single mom? And dont forget that boys cant get accidentally pregnant and stupidly decide to keep it and hope she will stay around.

Sure my post is generalization and super anti single mom oriented, but look at op case and tell me which sane woman who wants children marries INFERTILE husband and then DECIDES TO GO FOR IVF?

She is anything but good partner for OP. Period.

>>18635894
Why are colombian women so deliciously MILFy?

Idkw. I wouldnt ever be with someone with 3-4 or more sexual partners , let alone a kid.
Thing i would fear is when he/she gets to teenage years and she tells him/her that he/she isnt your kid, and then teenage rebel years arrive and first thing you hear is, shut up you aint my dad.
That shit would brake me. Anyway good luck.

>>18638485
She doesnt even have figure nor age for being milf. This is what happens when you have kids at really young age. It just makes their hips wider and boobs (a little) bigger.

>>18638455
>can't i eventually win her over?
>i told her how I feel (like a fuckin' beta)
>she dropped the "take it slow and see what happens" meme on you

Nope. She's deadset on making you into a male girlfriend. It's your own fault too because you keep acting like a fucking woman.

I want to say show some spine to her but if you've known each other for years(the fuckin' agony), she's well conditioned into you being her male girlfriend. Your best bet is really to just fucking stop talking to her but given your long history with each other you have to live this nightmare to the end in which she meets a guy she's into and leaves you or you find another girl whose eagerness to see you wakes you the fuck up. I can only pray you get the second scenario because the first one sucks.

>raising another man's child
King cuck

>>18638537

I've known her for 15 years.

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>>18635894
>Even ugly fatty is better than single mom.
Now hold on here.

>>18638566
>ugly
Plastic surgery. New clothes, new hair style, make up, fucking with paper back on her / your head.
>fatty
>>>/fit/ sticky, in few years she can have body of model

>kid
Murder is not a viable option. And good luck making mother to put her kid for adoption.

>>18635618
Fpbp

Stop relying on 4chan cuck memes--no one IRL thinks the same way retards on this site do

>>18637056
t.virgin

>posting jon
Wrong image nigga you gotta post sam you fuckin cuck

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How long have you two been together? Maybe instead of trying to make an immediate decision to just play by ear. If things get serious maybe just meet her son and see how it goes. It's not like he's old enough to be a total asshole yet

>kid of another race via IVF
>Husband was impotent
Sounds more like she cheated on her husband and he divorced her, and now she's stuck with her mistakes. She's lying.

>>18635611

I can only say be careful about acting in anyway like your the kids dad, in some places doing that for X amount of time is enough to get you on the hook for child support.

>>18638480
You're acting as if every woman is the exact same. Not every girl with a kid got pregnant at 18 with Tyrone and is looking for a guy to supplement her minimum wage/food stamp lifestyle. The problem with generalizing that "X women with condition are bad" is that you fail to take into account the circumstances and throw everyone into the same bucket. It reeks of your typical incel/r9k bitterness.

>>18638733
Nah she showed me the paperwork.