Considering speaking with my ex girlfriend

>>18624923
well, you sure sound desperate as fuck.

> She cut me off since last month and whenever I tried to speak with her about our relationship she refused to say anything, she just started ignoring me.

In what way would it benefit you, getting back together with a girl, who's not interested in you anymore?

> I really don't want all the time spent on this girl to go to waste.

You're basically wasting more of your time on her right now.

> I don't want to sit on the fence so I will also be giving an ultimatum of staying away from me forever or working with me to to reestablish a relationship.

That's just plain dumb as fuck. She already decided that she has nothing more to do with you. It's just egoistic to set up a scenario, where in the end, you'll think that it was you who decided where things are going. Stop lying to yourself. Just acknowledge the facts.

Let me help you out, because you're clearly inexperienced. There are 2 realistic scenarios:

1. You'll manage to get her back. You're already devoting yourself for this relationship, even though she doesn't give a fuck about you. You'll become her little dog, obeying her, desperately trying not to lose her again. After a few months/years you'll realize that you wasted a lot of time on her, but convince yourself that she's the one who you love. She'll probably cheat on you, because she's definitely the one controlling the relationship. She'll know that you'll do anything for her, maybe even getting back together after she cheated on you.

2. You straight up forget this shit, and start doing your own thing. You'll realize that you're young and attractive, and have many opportunities to get other girls. You start building your own career and minding your own business.

Start with getting to know yourself better, rather than selling your own pride out for a girl who gives shit about you and your feelings. It's not easy, and it comes with pain to acknowledge the reality.

What was the circumstances of the breakup?

Also stop being desperate. You're 18 for fucks sake. Move on find a new girl. Get employed (or go to college if that's on your agenda, in either case go here: >>18617482) and get fit.

>>18625069

Actually when I speak to her I plan on very clearly illustrating that I'm not just a tool for her enjoyment or an accessory to her life, I won't bend to her every whim.

I've spent much of this downtime finding out who I am and I've accepted myself, I fully expect that in all likelihood I will get rejected and I'm prepared to walk away from it if that ends up being what happens.

You are right in that I want to be the one with the final say and that's because I'm not the abuser here, I'm trying to go the extra mile and be mature about this so if she wants to ignore me that's her prerogative, it only makes her a weaker person.

If she continues to remain silent even after I tell her this then yeah, she's just a worthless cunt I shouldn't worry about anymore, thanks for the input.

>>18625069
This.

I've been where you are buddy , just move on with your life and stop wasting time on your ex.

>>18625091

She had just got back from a family trip to NYC and I was visiting my sister out of state. We had talked the night before I was about to leave about meeting up and trying to sort things out for whatever future we may have together, once I had gotten in my car she had sent me text saying "I don't want to be close anymore," this seemed particularly disingenuous because the high before she was telling me she loved me and missed me, hence why I'm figuring she's just rebounding and trying to forget me.

We met at the first place I took her out and I laid everything out on the table (which was quite possibly the worst thing I could've done but what's in the past can't be undone), she was visibly forcing herself not to tell me what was really on her mind so that's the main reason I am so confused is that she hasn't been respectful or honest, I have been.

Her rebound is off to college and is a 2 hour's drive away, so I figure now is a good opportunity to allow her to know that I still love her so she can think on it alone without him getting in the way.

As to why I want this to last, I really do love her and we share blame on both sides, I don't take all the fault for what's happened and neither do I place it on her but I don't think she's accepted that she's done far worse to me at this point than I ever did to her. I've never verbally or physically abused her so this is all soley in our heads.

>>18625126
How long were you guys together?

>>18625136

7 months, shortest relationship I've had but in that short amount of time I have to say that despite the uncertainty I enjoyed being with her the most.

>>18624923
There probably is the right combination of words too get her back, but that doesn't mean you should

>>18625141
You are young. Seven months feels like years at that age. I suggest you move on as is. She rebounded, she's moved on. She doesn't want to speak to you, if she felt anything she would want to and probably would have. There's billions of girls on the world. You said you already laid it all out so you have no regrets there from an external perspective. It sucks to feel this way but it's over.

>>18625150

There just hasn't been a feeling of finality in things, her friend even contacted me saying she still was talking about getting back together so it's bizarre to say the least. What dignity I still have left will remain intact at all costs and I won't let her step on me again, that I can swear.

>>18625154

I'm still giving the ultimatum, she's either all in or all out, no more pussy footing decisions because she can't just break things off and get back together over and over again, it's not window shopping it's a relationship. So I'm gonna give her two very extreme options and a time window that extends only as far as my shrinking patience currently is.

>>18625171
I guess you have nothing to lose. Though,
I would drop the time window and carry on with your life.

>>18625175

I want her to have absolutely no doubts about her decision one way or the other, we're either done for all time or together. I want to give her time for that very reason and I'm not gonna give her more than a week, 2 is most certainly pushing it.

I realize there are plenty of other girls but I've found one I am very intent on creating a long standing relationship with so not doing this is out for the question, how I am going to go about it is.

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Why even ask for advice if you're just going to do it anyway?

You're 18, not 28 and it was 7 months not 7 years. Even if you manage to win her back chances are high the moment that one of you leaves for college or gets a job, she'll leave you. Why waste the time? Why do these mental gymnastics? Just move on.

>>18625192
You're in love,of course you want to get her back
Truth is, like anon said, your chances of her getting back to you AND her being the girl of your life are like 0%
If she don't care anymore about you she can't understand how great you truly are and you should focus on yourself
Nevertheless you can improve yourself and getting to know what you don't want from a woman
Time will fix everything,try to not to think about her and hang out with friends, have the biggest fun you can have