I cracked today, worthless and have no direction in life

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>5'5 total manlet
>Indian
>18 years old
>very very small hands, pic is my hands compared to donald trumps
>low paying, under the table mind numbing job of watching cameras at uncles liquor store
>slightly overweight
>parents are trying to kick me out but im begging them to let me stay one more year i always stay at the library or work i only go home to sleep
>posted a pic of me on a reddit rating page and got demolished
>very child-like voice people have to ask me to repeat when i talk to them
>wanted to join coast guard my entire life but laughed at by recruiter when I showed my deep self harm scars from when i was 10
>i think i have an average dick size but I have pinehole phismosis
>love to help people but realized after graduating that people only used me for their own gain since most of the people who i invited for my graduation party didnt show up

I had a complete mental breakdown in the car today when I realized how screwed I am in life. I have no sense of direction, no idea how I will survive and if I should even survive in general please help me.