Raising my sister

>>18511915
Raising a kid on your own is a massive commitment, but obviously people manage it all the time. If you do take her on can you count on other family to help? Who will look after her when you're at work?

>>18511928
No, they aren't going to help me. They refuse.

I'll probably have to resort to day care if I do it.

Yikes.

Just keep in mind you will effectively become a single father. This has all the same costs: a smaller dating pool (the women who are interested will be single mothers too), loss of freedom, no reliable partner to take care of the child while you're working.

I honestly think you're better off trying to get your sister adopted. Please look into a private adoption before placing her with the state, though.

I think you already know that you're going to do this. Just make sure you do it right. There's a lot of literature out there on how to take care of children, and make sure you get an experienced nanny for when you can't be at home. Try to ask said nanny for advice as well.

>>18511915

She is your sister man.
It doesn't matter how hard and miserable it is. If you have an ounce of decency, you'll take care of her.

>>18511915
20 years later your sister will learn of your abandonment. You will lose a family member. How can you possibly think this is a legitimate question?

I am an only child. I think about killing myself everyday.

Your family are absolute scum.
You're obligated morally and through family ties to take care of your sister, and if youndont she will be much worse off for it.
It will be hard but that's the hand you've been dealt - you can rise to the challenge or you can take the easy way out.
You k ow what you should do, you just need to decide whether you're willing to do it.

>>18511974
I have two siblings (one is even a twin!) and I think of killing myself daily.

your suicidal tendencies have nothing to do with being an only child

You're a young man with your whole life ahead of you. You have no obligation to your sister, that's just the sad reality. Your mothers mistakes shouldn't drag you down.

It's not everyday something like this comes up, but I TRULY believe that you shouldn't let go of your Sister. I cannot stress how much regret you might have in the future. I have 5 Sisters and I hate ALL of them (Love-Hate), but I really just can't imagine being without them.

Please don't give her up :(

>>18511915
What do you WANT to do?

if you give her away you WILL regret it, not a matter of if

>>18512023
I want to not ruin my life and I want my sister to be happy. That's all.

>>18511915
I guess it comes down to whether or not you think you can raise her yourself. And I mean REALLY give her the best childhood you possibly can. If you doubt, even for a second, that you could, put her up for adoption.

No, it's alright, even if you do doubt for a second. There's not one moments in life where you don't doubt yourself.

Noone is ever truly ready

I would say you have no definite moral obligation because adoption is not the worst thing and you have no objective responsibility.

That said, it sounds like you want to keep her, so do. Why would you let other people cause you doubt? This is your relationship, not theirs. It's your sense of love and duty, not theirs. They know nothing about you or why you're making this decision.

The logistics of child care are tough, but they are totally doable for a single dad, especially since you are well off. But it doesn't really matter anyway, if you care about her and really want her in your life you'll find a way to deal with little stuff that comes up.

>>18512050
Why do you think this would ruin your life? This is life. Do you have some grand plan that can't be deviated from?

>>18511915

She is your blood sister, don't give her up. Think of how she'd feel to know that none of her family wanted her. Dont do this to her. You are all she has left. I have 3 sisters and 3 brothers, i would kill/die for any of them. Take care of your own.

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>>18511915

Can you go to your social services/child adoption agency to ask about a conditional adoption? Perhaps you can place the kid with a local family with the provision that you get visitation as a brother. The family will raise the child but she will always know that she has a brother. Ideally, you can move close by to them. Have a lawyer write a document stating that you wish to keep in touch with the child—seeing her at birthdays, some holidays, some weekends, whatever—and that you want a hand in the adoption interviewing process. The kid will gain a loving stable upbringing and you will still have a sister.

>>18511915
OP, if you take this child on, your life will be better in ways you didn't know it could be. This is your sister! she's your family! how are you even asking?? don't let her sit at a fucking orphanage while you waste your disposable income at bars. the connection to her will give your life meaning. you can abandon her and continue to be a selfish person living only for yourself, but in 40 years, will you be proud of that choice? don't fall to the childless meme. it's not fulfilling, it's not worth it, money is meaningless, travel is meaningless. family is what matters. connection with others is what matters. your sister will love you forever if you raise her. she'll take care of you when you're old. don't give up on her.

everyone who says you have no obligation to her is a fucking heartless faggot

>>18512104
I don't think it would, I simply don't know if it would. That's why I'm here.

>>18512127
this might very well the sanest piece of advice on here.

But I agree that family ties are important, and after all, you say yourself you just want her happiness. The "heartless faggots" do have a point though, there's no obligation, only a certain moral duty to do so. That's your call, but look into all the details on help and shit you can get for this, gibs from gubmint and so on. And try and raise her right if you do decide to go ahead and do so.

Good luck anon!

>>18512139
An adoption would make your sister happy and not ruin your life. She's 3, it's not like she's attached to you.

>>18512139
It would ruin your life. You would be dedicating your life to a child that's not even yours.

>>18511946
Your family sounds like a bunch of asses for not even putting a little bit of effort into this.

>>18512160
yeah the aunts sound like the ugly sisters or Patty and Selma or something. Fuck that.

>>18512129
>don't let her sit at a fucking orphanage

Do they still have orphanages?
It's hard enough raising a kid with two parents; being a working single parent would be hard on both you and the kid. The kid would have to be "warehoused" in a daycare all day. Is that kindness?

Find a loving family to adopt the kid and keep in close contact. If you're lucky then they'll kinda adopt you too.

>>18512139
Holy shit these assholes... Don't listen to their knee jerk answers OP.

What I meant was, what do you mean by ruining your life? Not being able to go to parties? Smaller dating pool?

It won't prevent you from finding a gf if that's what you want, and she won't prevent you from hanging out with friends. A lot of the other stuff won't be part of your life for much longer, you're 27 and are going to start leaving behind the things you can't do when you have a kid.

>>18511949
>a smaller dating pool (the women who are interested will be single mothers too), loss of freedom, no reliable partner to take care of the child while you're working.
I believe this is not the same as a daughter. Its her sister, she can grow independent over time if she raises her well.

>>18512139
I was 26 when I got a random girl pregnant. She chose to keep it, which forced me into it as well because the law is sexist towards men in these situations. I am so glad it happened though. Yeah, it's expensive, and yeah, he goes to daycare, but it's not a big deal, dude. They stop going to daycare when they turn 5, except maybe after school care, which is a lot cheaper. Other than that, it's just a hell of a lot of fun to watch them grow up and develop into people. It's insanely worth it. You'd be making the biggest mistake of your life if you didn't do this for her. And it will fuck her up if you don't, in all honesty.

>>18512149
>>18512150
kill yourselves. you voted for Bernie, right?

>>18512165
I have a four year old. He goes to daycare. It's not cruel to send a kid to daycare you fucking retard. Most kids go to daycare these days, thanks to feminism. The family that adopts the kid will probably use daycare. And she's already 3, kids stop going to daycare at 5 because there's this thing called school, idiot. Your life view is so limited and so absurdly ignorant that it enrages me. So, good job for pissing me off with your retardedness, I guess.

>>18512139
I believe it's the right thing to do, at least morally. I imagine in that situation, i would do the same, but at the same time, i'm not you, so it doesn't really matter what i'd do. If nothing else though, >>18512127 is one of the most sensible pieces of advice in this whole thread.

[spoiler]i personally still think you should raise her but that's just the shitty opinion of a random guy on the internet[/spoiler]

>>18512175
after maybe 15 years, perhaps.

>>18512165
And the funny thing is that kids like daycare. They get socialized. They play with friends, inside and outside. They learn a ton, like basic science and math and reading. My son knows about the ocean and the woods and how turtles lay eggs and shit. daycare isn't some neglect-center, it's school for young kids.

>>18511915

Damn OP....this precious little girl has the same blood flowing through her veins as you do. Take care of her. Man, she is right at that age where she can melt your heart on a daily basis. You will revel in her absolute innocence and her inquisitiveness about the world. DOn't be selfish.

>>18512150
>a child that's not even yours

Not even his? They have the same blood coursing through their veins!!!!

>>18512222
this. if you don't take care of your own genes, you're not a man at all, just a pussy destined for genetic-line death.

>>18511915
I'm not joking around when I say this: You WILL regret it if she turns out like shit. You WILL regret not even trying. If you raise her, at least you will know you at least tried.

And trust me, regret is one of the worst feeling you can get. If regret of not getting with some girl you could've dated lasts for years, shit like this will stain your memory for you whole life.

Trust me OP, take care of her and do the right thing.

>>18511915
This could destroy her knowing that her older brother gave up on her, day care is a normal parenting option as long as they aren't there on weekends and under 9 hours a day

Do not raise her. Give her to a nice couple that's ready and prepared to give her the best possible life. She's a baby, she'll make it just fine. You're just making your life miserable for no reason.

>>18511915
You're 27 not 21. You've been able to be a kid and have fun as a young adult. Now be a MAN and raise your sister. Don't do it for her do it for yourself. This will show you what kind of person you are. The right girl will see this and respect the fuck out of you.

>>18511915
I know some guys who would kill to protect and love and care for a little sister
don't put her up for adoption, your mother killing herself was a dick move honestly, but that doesn't mean your siblings have to suffer

>>18512127
Fucking seconded. This is legitimately one of the most sensible pieces of advice I've seen on this board.

>>18511915
When you give someone up for adoption I'm pretty sure you can request that you get to still have contact with them after their of age. Get in contact with child services and talk it over with someone. A case worker will tell you everything you need to know or want to know. Pretty sure that you can say the adopters can't change her name either, (I'm not sure maybe I've been informed wrong from movies and TV) but if you can you could probably look her up when she's older and get in contact with her regardless of what the people who adopted her want. Explore your options mate. Is it to late for an abortion?

>>18511915
What country do you live in, OP ?

>>18512050
You can't have both sun :((((

>>18512485
>having (or taking care of) a child = ruining one's life
impeccable logic, you subhuman scum. Even animals look after their own.

>>18512514
Animals haven't set up a society built to punish people who try to do the right thing. Animals didn't build a society where you need currency to survive. Animals actually look out for one another, unlike people.

>>18512521
with that kind of logic, you must be a Chinaman.
>cue China pill screencaps and rekt webms.

>>18512562
No, just realistic. I'm not saying society should support everybody or wealth should be shared or any of that communist shit. The fact of the matter is, you can't have it both ways. The fact that society doesn't do those things means you're on your own and you should act as such. You're not rewarded for being the nice guy, you're metaphorically beaten into the ground. OP's life will be consumed by this and for no real reason. Babies, especially if they're white, are usually well off in regards to adoption. This girl is young enough to be okay. OP a kid in his 20s, he doesn't know shit. He's going to be miserable.

>>18512587
OP is 27, in case you haven't noticed. The immature one is you here, so stop projecting.

You might not be rewarded for doing the right thing, that doesn't make it any less important to do just that.

And that is what differentiates the superior man to the petty pleb.

>>18512591
>OP is 27
Yeah, he's a kid. If you think you're a real adult in your 20s then you're in your 20s yourself and you're a delusional shit. You don't know shit.

OP, don't let these morons try to fool you with their morality horseshit. Morals are not rewarded in this world. You're going to suffer, you're going to struggle, you're going to taken advantage of. You're going to ruin your life, not only is your life going to be entirely about her, she's going to consume your money and your happiness as well. If that sounds appealing to you then go right ahead but you were warned.

>>18512514
Then why don't you take care of the little monster you piece of fucking garbage? I'm sure you'll pick up so many chicks carrying around a baby who smells like a turd diaper. Honestly go fucking jerk off with your own shit and lick it up you fucking Neanderthal faggot fuck. I didn't post for you I posted for op. Go gargle a big glass of hot piss. It'll make your breath smell better.

>>18512598
>>18512599
>sociopath with a trollish mentality detected.
I'd impregnate your boipucci if it made you feel better, darling. That is, if daddy hasn't already stretched it out too much, the tighter the better eh?

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>>18512605
Nah, just some sort of gimpish edgelord.
>pic related

>>18511915
There is no choice here, you have to take care of that child unless you want her in the shit foster system, so unless you want her to be abused by strangers you should ask around for help in your community, read about child care, and get as many life lines as you can and put together a safety net.

tl;dr: take care of the child and figure out how to do it, if you don't she's likely going to live a shit life and it's ultimately your fault if she does because you are the only person left. i can give you my burner e-mail if you want to talk at length about childcare (i know quite a bit about it) but if you don't do it you're a horrible person, period.

>>18512598
>>18512599
If you're not in your 20s yourself, then you're the most immature 30-year-old I've run into in a while. You write like a freshman who just discovered Nietzsche and Stirner.

Also, I swear you people will never get tired of pushing the age of "real" adulthood older and older. It's not hard at all to find people in their late 20s who've been married with kids for several years, who're well into their careers, with most of the cares and responsibilities they'll have when they're 40. Certainly many 28-year-olds still have plenty to learn, but then, we all do.

>>18512622
>It's not hard at all to find people in their late 20s who've been married with kids for several years
"Other people are morons so that means it's a good idea."

>>18512622
Those people are idiots and even so, those situations are different. If you get married and start a family, you are at least starting things off at a reasonable level.

OP is going to be a SINGLE FATHER. It is NEVER a good idea to willingly go into being a single parent, ever. Whether you're 16 or 40, it is never ever a good idea.

>>18512631
actually no, having children at an early age, however difficult it can make your life at times, is not a death sentence to your carreers. you just need to be a responsibile person and know what you're doing.

>>18512639
OP makes 70k a year, i don't think he's ever going to have a problem raising a child aside from knowing HOW to raise a child. there are people who can live off 7k a year as full grown adults, this man can just buy a fucking full time nanny if he really needed to.

>>18512643
sidenote: OP DO NOT GET A FUCKING NANNY FULL TIME, THE CHILD WILL FEEL UNLOVED AND HATE YOU.

>>18512622
this knobjockey sounds like a readymade Charles Dickens cunt character in the making. Luckily he won't leave his dungeon nor ever have the chance to spread his seed, although gay adoption may make that possible for deviants like him, who knows.

small wonder he wants OP to give up the kid, the fucking pervert.

>>18512643
The amount of money he makes is frankly a meaningless number because how much you make is only really valuable information based off where you live. 70k in New York and 70k in the deep south are 2 vastly different incomes. Also get a nanny? Fuck off, you are not a parent at that point. Give the girl to a lonely couple that can't reproduce and will actually be there for her. That is what's best for her not you trying to be the first decent single parent, and failing.

>>18512598
>money = happiness
>flee your responsibilities

what is this shit, some kind of hybrid kike nigger?

>>18512653
well he says he's never had any financial problems so obviously he doen'st live in NYC or anything crazy for spending like that, and even then if he changes his lifestyle a bit (which is already happening anyways if he takes the child so why the fuck not?) he can cut some corners on the luxury side if he absolutely needs to

i was making a point about how he really only needs to be able to be a half-decent parent and everything would be okay with the nanny comment, but i didn't at all mean to say he should for obvious reasons.

You're 27, you really have nothing to lose. Also she's already at an age where she will only get smarter, trust me, they learn so quickly you won't even notice how fast she'll be independent. Your life will surely be rewarded, because if you stand alone in the future, you'll at least have a reliable family member that appreciates you.

>>18512669
This. If she doesn't have a disability

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>>18512607
>he called me a troll, sociopath and talked about my daddy issues!
>call him a summerfag
>heh, that oughta teach him

nice one

>>18512631
>>18512639
Oh, come off it. I agree that *generally*, unless both people are exceptionally mature, getting married before your mid-twenties is a bad idea, but plenty of couples are financially stable enough to take care of young children by 25 or 26 or so, are tired of being "adventurous" free spirits or whatever, and have been together long enough for marriage to be a reasonable prospect. Maybe you weren't ready at that age - I certainly wasn't - but they're out there. Statistically, 25 is about the cutoff at which point divorce becomes much less likely, too. (Incidentally, the divorce rate actually climbs for couples who get married past age 30.)

That said, in OP's specific case I agree taking the kid in himself isn't the right move. I agree with the person who recommended conditional adoption. I had a good friend in college who did that - the circumstances were very similar - and it worked out very well. The kid got a much stabler home than she would have been able to provide and she saw the kid several times monthly.

>>18512676
>>>>>/b/ you guys

>>18512681
i'd agree that conditional adoption would be a reasonable choice, but i wouldn't do it myself because i'd constantly worry about if the adoptive parents would be abusive (since in many cases they are, adopted children make for great proof that you're a "good" person so you can show off at dinner parties etc. and then you can just shove them back into the basement where they belong, and you never know when that couple is just really good at acting, but i'm extremely paranoid so don't mind the fearmongering)

OP
tl:dr if you absolutely cannot take responsibility for the child(not implying you have to, but you really should if at all possible), be very careful about who you let take care of her, children are precious and deserve all the opportunity they can be afforded, if you think it's best that she live with a responsible couple that you choose that's fine, just don't let her go into the foster system, please.

>>18512684
i wasn't the guy who confronted him at first, but i can't resist looking for a reaction from people like that :3

Raise her to be your ideal woman then marry her.

>>18513138
it's only taken all of 74 posts to get to this point. thanks, anon.

>>18511915
Do not give her up, give her love. She needs a parent more than ever now. Age three is vulnerable and a time of important tribal development. Try to provide her with routine and affection. Lots of hugs and availability and gentility. You can heal her a lot from the trauma of losing mom if you handle this correctly, OP. Do not double abandon.

>>18511915

Private adoption, don't kick her off to the government but do get her adopted anon, it is not your kid and will ruin your dating and time and energy, life aint an anime. Also your family sound like assholes

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>this guys family is more heartless then 4chan

>>18511915
Holy shit, yes, adopt the poor thing.

It would be different if you were 18 and in college, but you're 27 and make $70,000 a year, which is more than what most people make. Despite being single, you're in a great position take on a child.

Do you have any decent friends who could help, i.e. someone who could babysit while you're at work or whatever?

>>18512127
The most reasonable advice.

It is your duty to provide the best possible upbringing for your sister, and chances are it is best achieved with the help of another family.

>>18513807
Not really. Let's be real, OP's mom sounds like a fuck up. This family is probably tired of dealing with her shit for 30+ years. Then this woman has a baby with no support from the father for the second time apparently and then kills herself, probably expecting the family to pick up the slack. I would be tired of her shit too.

You can call it heartless but it's unfair to expect people to change their entire life around because you're such a selfish horrible person.

>>18514233
>You can call it heartless but it's unfair to expect people to change their entire life around because you're such a selfish horrible person.
^

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OP. Imo its best you take her. She's still young so you can teach her, but thats if you can handle it. Kids are no easy job. I'd be a lot of guilt to know the chances of having a good relationship with your sister are slim and or you wont EVER see her again. In nature siblings protect each other right? If humans are apart of nature should they be any diffrent?

>>18511974
So edgy

>>18511915
>My aunts say I'm stupid and my sister is not my problem and I shouldn't feel obligated towards her
wtf? fuck her. do it and raise her, make her a nice person!

>>18511974
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfc42Pb5RA8

>>18511915
You didnt ask for this child and youre a One man gang. Senpai is not helping and you are a single dude who lives well financially.

If I was you I would find some foster parents for her. You will still always be her brother but you cant raise that shit on your own by yourself, specially since you didn't ask for the kid.


Just remember you might not see your sister ever again. Her foster parents might see more nice and will let you in on how she's doing but they are not legally required to inform you and invite you.

How this even a question, that is you blood. This poor little girl has no one left in this world but you. Others keep saying you shouldn't have to pay for your mom's mistakes, but this is a child and she didn't ask for any of this either.

No major inclination either way other than to say to look out for the child's best interests, but the amount of replies by moral soapdodgers here is rather sad but to be expected on this kind of anonymous degenerate troll farm.

Having raised my sister's child while she was off being a bad mother, I can tell you that it's gratifying in ways you don't even know yet. Plus, this is your baby sister, so you should be even close. Take care of the little one, OP.

>>18511915
Dude wtf is your problem that's your family your blood and you make good money take care of your own why would you even ask this man tf up

>>18515530
also do you know how many girls you'll pull with that story OP?

>>18513816
This. He makes way more than the average family of four lol

>>18515533
sounds like that Hugh Grant film, what was it? About a Boy?

>>18515533
Ding ding ding. Youll find a mate that wants to help out if you keep your sis. You can do it op, takes time to learn shit but i know you can get advice on shit like this.

>>18511915
That's a tough one. But it's not so bad. She's just about past the age where you have to take care of her 24/7. Pretty soon she'll be off to school for most of the day so it's not like you'll be leaving her to be raised by foster care. Your career probably wouldn't take as big a hit as if you had a baby.

Hate to say it but you might be better off asking Reddit about this one. /adv/ is really a pretty small community, and nobody here knows shit.

My heart wants to say raise your sister but cruel life might make it hard and miserable.

>>18511915
Having a child cripples you deeply for at least 12 years. But you are making more than my family ever made. Me and my 2 other siblings would live off of my mom making no more than 20k a year. And sure we came out with deep issues, but that's life when you neglect them. Just think of the options, could you commit a good 3/5 of your life to another human being?

I would, but that's because it's something I've always wanted to do. Get a chance to give someone better life than mine. Idk, ponder upon everything. At least she's out of her stage that needs the most attention

>>18512127
This

Do it OP, take her. Your mother's problems may not be yours, but they sure as shit aren't a 3 year old's problems.

This is way above and beyond but it's absolutely the right thing to do. In two or three years she'll start school and will be less of a handful, in a way, and until then I'm sure there are people or places that can offer help. At 27 I imagine you have some friends with babies and toddlers who will be able to give you ideas on what exactly you are supposed to be doing.

Your other family members should be ashamed of themselves.

Don't do it OP, she isn't worth the massive amount of time and effort you're going to have to devote to her.

Taking care of a kid is hard but it doesn't necessarily ruin your life. Yes you will have to devote alot of your time to your sister if you decide to take care of her and put her needs infront of your own. Just think if your willing to do so and can emotionally handle it. Even tho your not sure on how to take care of a child doesn't mean you cant learn. Just do what you think is best.

>>18511915
I wouldn't give her up.

>>18511994
This. Anon just think if it was you as the 3 year old and your sister as the adult, what would you want her to do? Would you want to be raised by your flesh and blood or tossed aside like a fucking used condom?

Well on the plus side, you probably don't have to potty train her. On the minus side, she is now at an age where she is a permanent kleptomaniac and tattletale.

I think you should keep your sister. Daycare is not a childhood-scarring crime, and it will not actually impede your life all that much aside from some initial expenditures (baby/children's car seat, child-proofing the place you live, and I can't imagine your suicidal addict mother with shitty family provided much for your sister so you might have to buy new clothes and toiletries and cutlery for her).

If you can network, you can even get an unofficial daycare arrangement with say, some other family who has a nanny, or discuss with your current workplace/find a workplace that meets your needs better (eg a special deal with a nearby daycare, amended hours, ability to work from home on certain days).

>>18516621
Also, to add on to this, no, your dating pool is not restricted to single mothers, though arguably in the course of getting playdates for your sister and so on you will invariably run into more single mothers than any other subset, but even that is a toss-up because your relative affluence will dictate your choices regarding your sister, and will naturally filter out the stereotypical "single mother" talked about in 4chan.

Arguably, to most women, you stepping up for your sister is considered to be a "commitment" and therefore more worthy of a lasting relationship.

Another benefit is that as your sister grows up under your influence, she will naturally become more independent and want to be self-sufficient like you. You will probably be very hands-off with her past the age of 8 or so in terms of daily care, and assuming you put her in a good school, you probably don't even have to talk to her about the birds and the bees.

You are anime, raise your imouto right anon, do it for us.

>>18511915
Adopted girl here
I was lucky that I ended up in a good and stable family and they raised me with all the love and care, gave me all the opportunities they could (school, sports, music, languages).

I don't know much about my blood family, or even if I have siblings, but I'd love if they had kept in touch or had some agreement like >>18512127 said. But I live in a 3rd world country, it's very likely they were poor af to raise me so they gave me up and I thank them for that. I'd probably have grown in a shitty favela abused and drugged.

I consider adopting in the future, after I get a stable life and relationship, not only because I was adopted and was lucky, but because there are so many children in need that deserves another chance because they're not responsible for their family mistakes/problems.

My personal opinion, if I had faced myself in the same situation as yours, I'd probably stick with my sister (yeah I'm a woman that changes a lot too), it's not uncommon. Basically you're fathering her and that has its ups and downs. It's a sacrifice you'll be doing for both, for keeping the family together and you'd certainly give your best.

If you choose for the adoption path and be present in her life, make sure the foster parents don't alienate her against you, let her know that you took this decision out of love and not for selfish reasons. At some point she might rebel, expect that reaction and be patient. When she grows old enough she'll realize that whatever you did for her, it was for her best interest.

I'm rooting for you anon, whatever you choose to do it won't be easy but I believe you'll make the right decision. <3

If I was in your situation I would take care of her. One thing you will have to deal with is that unless you always let her know that she is your sister and not your daughter, she may actually think you are her father.

Next is the actual raising of her, depending on her development you will need to potty train her and take care of her hygenic needs until she can do this herself. So you'll have to potty train, wash her, dress her, brush her teeth, brush her hair, etc.

You'll have to buy her clothes, toys, outfit your home for her safety, and buy her school supplies.

You'll have to also learn to cook, unless you want her to grow up unhealthy, she'll need her vitamins and nutrients. You'll also have to pay for her healthcare, take her to the doctor. Even have to take care of her when she gets sick.

You'll also have to spend time with her, help her learn to talk, share wisdom with her, play with her, and teach her how to be a good person.

School is a big deal too, you'll have to get her ready in the morning and feed her. Drop her off at school and pick her up until she is old enough for the bus. You'll have to help her with her school work too.

If you work past the time school ends, she'll need to go to daycare like others have said.

You'll need to learn about how girls go through puberty too, when you can expect her period to start and how to deal with these changes, including getting stuff like training bras.

Now this is a huge commitment, but it's not necessarily the end of your life. Once she is older she'll be less dependent and you'll find her doing more for herself. If you want to date you can get a babysitter to watch her while you go out and fuck. I don't think that your dating pool will shrink, if anything it will only grow. This is due to the fact that you will be around more people when she is doing sports, extracurricular activities, events, etc. This means you will be around a lot more single women. Tell your story and women will get wet.

Pls let us know what you are going to do op.

Hell, if you're vain you could make a youtube show about this shit and pull in some extra cash. It could literally be a reality tv show assuming you both are good looking

>>18511994
this thread is retarded, you are not "morally obligated" to take care of your sister. If you want to put her up for adoption or take care of her yourself either is fine. This thread is seriously autistic.

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Reminder that soon she will be an annoyingly demanding brat for a decade, then when she turns 15 she will start wearing skimpy clothes going to school much to your annoyance and one day she'll notice you that her period isn't coming right and you'll feel horrible for raising such a roastie. Then you'd yell at her and she will leave you, she won't see you again until you're on your death bed.

Just give her up.

>>18517113
This

if you raise your sister youre letting your dead mom cuck you. thats pretty low

My mum died a couple of months ago and left 4 children (two tweens). I wanted to be their main carer but my dad wouldn't have it. All I can do is to look out for them but seeing as your sister is 3 years old, it would be the kindest thing you could do for her.

I'm sure a woman will come into your life and happy about you adopting your sister. It's no biggie for some women, only some.

>>18511915
Anon, I want you to sit up, and read what you just posted here on 4chan. What the fuck is actually wrong with you? You JUST said you make enough money to support your baby sister, who has no mother or father. I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.

All i'm going to say is, everyone here telling you to be selfish and live your life are just a bunch of fools. They don't know what the value of having a family member is.

(I'm all alone in this world. my family's dead).

You could raise her yourself and be miserable and give her a mediocre life or you could not raise her, find her some good adopters and both live good lives independently.

You're not a super hero, anon. You're not her savior, you're just her brother. You're just some guy thrusted into a shit situation. I'm not trying to throw shade at you, I'm sure as far as your situation goes, you'd be as good as people could expect to be. Facts are facts though, a single father cannon match the combo of a mother and father. One guy can't beat a complete family. Plus most people who are adopting are usually a lot older than you are. They've lived their lives, they're ready, they've probably research childcare extensively, the fact that they're doing it and if they're allowed to do so says a lot about their competency.

Will your sister feel abandoned when she's older? Maybe but the trade off is she got to live a good life and that's what being a real parent is about. That teen single mom isn't a good parent because she decided to raise her child by herself in the worst possible conditions. She's a good mom because she realized she couldn't provide her child what she deserved and then sought out the people that could, that's a real mom and that's what you need to do.

>>18512127
Try arranging something like this. In any case don't just give up on her. You'll never be able to look at yourself in the mirror again if you just drop her. Good luck and keep us posted.

how's it hanging OP

>>18511915
You'll regret it if she becomes a fuck up, and statistically that's very likely for a rejected child