Vent general

I love how you guys try to blame all my problems on drugs, even the problems I had 10 years before I had taken any drug.

Maybe if you ever cared about me you would have known how depressed I have been since middle school. Maybe you would have realized the reason I never wanted to do anything, ever.

I have been depressed since before puberty. My mind is fucked up. I was depressed before I even knew of the concept.

I just realized that you lied about the keylogger not sending you data to an e-mail because you replied to my anonymous post
>>18490944
it was when you weren't home.
I also realized after I told you how I felt and that it was open heart love(before I confronted you about your incessant lying and deception) that you went into the bathroom with your phone to "cry" and I knew something was up so I went it and caught you trying to delete your history checking to see if your ex had posted something
It shows you were afraid he revealed something I might have discovered and it clearly means you've been chatting with him (apart from stalking him)
You're such a hypocrite, the worst kind for pretending everyone else is so dirty and porn is so bad and you're so non sexual. I've read those e-mails that are practically erotic literature talking about him licking your wet panties. Then you criticize 4channers when even if we lie here talking shit, it's just shitposting between anonymous people and not posting ads looking for men to chat with who think you're someone else completely and living a lie
I don't understand how someone can be so much of a hypocrite, it is truly astounding
I hope your "ex" finds out you have a keylogger on his laptop and that you've hacked his emails
Horrible person

>>18500072
I can sort of relate. I have some anger issues and when i lashed out at my mom a few ago she started to blame my meds for making me that way. I've been fucked up for years now but now they've noticed and they're blaming it on one of the few things that make me function.

anyone on /adv/ want to watch a movie tonight? i picked last time, y'all do this one, i'll host again but you just pick the kino

I'm sick of being lonely and want to meet new people but I'm too shy and introverted to actually do it.
There are places and events I could go to, but I'm scared I'll end up being alone the whole time while everyone else is there with friends.

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Was gonna start a new thread but figure this is more appropriate.

I'm so fucking pathetic. I just got back from my first store meeting.
It was my first time meeting most of the group since i just finished my training last week. Why the fuck was I so butthurt that everyone was laughing and getting along and I would try to join in but mainly got ignored. I've never, ever been the social one in a group. Been described as the forgettable one, the guy who doesn't wow anyone. The guy who overhears two employees talking about how crazy the party was where apparently all from work were invited except yours truly. Guess it will be the same here. Then I see qt grills and know I stand 0 chance with them. I start imagining how fucking autistic I'm going to be when I formally meet them eventually. As soon as I left, for some reason, I was overcome with sadness. I literally just sat in my car for half an hour not knowing where to go. Just getting home and I just want to sleep.

>mfw

>>18500131
Wouldn't mind watching Biutiful, if possible

>>18500131
You mean watch something together on rabbit? Cause I'm down

>>18500180
>>18500179
yeah rabbit, last night we watched Cube. idk what biutiful is but damn if i won't try and find it

>>18500052
I miss you. You're mine... even if you don't know it.

Sorry Ma, I ain't coming home.

The world isn't going to conquer itself.

Fuck monkey branching and fuck you. Sabotaging our relationship because another guy found his way into his life? I never thought you could sink that low.

My girlfriend and I of a month really love each other. She's loyal, but I can't stop being paranoid. She has a lot of guy friends and and I know she texts a lot of guys. Maybe it's just me, I'm just so insecure and paranoid. She said that even before we stared dating, she was in love with me and would only be friendly with other guys because she was holding out for me. But I noticed that she's not texting me like before. She's always opening my messages, but never replying. Sometimes, she's replying a few hours later.

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Jesus its been over 18 years since I never gotten a first kiss or anything.
Hell, I even went outside for 4 months to get one to no avail.
I did what you told me god and I give up.
I don't know what you want from me nor what, just end me.

>>18500226
Carry on, brother. There's no rush

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>>18500230
>Mfw I prefer work over this

>>18500236
Over what?

>>18500209
Same thing happened with my girl man. But your girl chose you over her guy friends for a reason. Just didn't answer her text for a day and leave her on read some days. Sometimes girls just need breaks and they don't like clingy guys.

>>18500237
Over doing nothing, hell even getting a gf

>>18500209
Move forward but also be cautious, people lie and cheat all the time. Sometimes your gut knows what's up. I'm sure not every woman is like my ex

>>18500208
Monkey branching is the fucking worst.

You fucking cunts lied to me about everything about this job. Every day I wake up and remember that. I'm going to make this what you said it was going to be and you will get out of my way.

I hate my dumb stupid brain full of intrusive thoughts.
Its time to accept that I'm an awful human being.

I WANT TO BE A PRETTY PRINCESS GOD DAMNIT.

WHY ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?

I can't live with myself and it's high time I finally realized you can't fucking live with me either. I hate myself. I HATE HATE HATE myself OK? I hope you fucking get it. I share the same sentiments you do when you pick on my insecurities and make fun of how I look. HELL YES. Today you really rubbed it in. I don't know why you fuck with me alright. I don't get why you even hate me for feeling bad for what you blatantly rubbed in today. gahd, you make me want to die and just disappear. I know I'm ugly. And the pain of whoever else in the world with "bigger problems" doesn't mean I can't feel bad about myself. I just want to end it all

>>18500293
you can be a pretty princess anon

>>>/lgbt/

>>18500394
Not everyone can. Also /lgbt/ is the most competitive and unwelcoming board there is. Kind of makes sense if you start to think of it as "a bunch of people with mental illnesses"

I've wasted my years between 18 and 24 (currently 24) doing literally nothing but college and some church stuff. I didn't do that great in college anyway, still studying. I didn't even focus on the hobbies I love like drawing or writing. Is it too late now?

>>18500460
Do you have a decent job? A profession?

My friends are finally sick of me, I don't know what to do now

>>18500468
Nope. I never had a job. I used to give English classes to high school kids at home for a short while (but for a few years according to my resume). I've been battling (or more often giving up against) depression for all these years too.
My friends that have jobs in the area I study are trying to recommend me in their jobs. I'm also applying online for stuff. But still no luck. I guess I'll have to look outside, in something unrelated, until I get my degree. But I'm also worried about how I lost track of my hobbies. They used to fuel my motivation but now I feel like I need to learn how to draw and write all over again.
I didn't focus on them because of the pressure that I wasn't doing well in college, and that I've started to resent not studying graphic design instead of I.T. which made me stupid enough to try to distance myself from what I love.

>>18500473
Friends are replaceable and even so you don't really *need* friends. Look for new ones. Why are they sick of you? Maybe they are sick of a lot of things. Times change and friendships die out. Long lasting friendships are rare.
Also maybe it's a good time to explore yourself. Try doing a spiritual retreat.

>>18500131
I'm down. Depends on the movie.

>>18500476
Fuck dude, I'm old as fuck and wasted my youth dealing with weight issues and depression due to them plus some legal matters for part of that time but I never went to college. Go back and study something decent if you're young
Look at me now, went to foreign land thinking I found true love only to discover I almost married a compulsive liar who thinks she has moral high ground over a lot of you when the fact is she's a massive hypocrite in complete delusion and denial
Go to school. Don't end up like me, I don't know what I did in life to deserve this

>>18500052
You're so transparent... message taken. If we're just friends then expect a lot to change between us, but you don't care, so it's all good, huh?

>>18500131
So anon, when are we watching this kino?

>>18500485
Oh shit that sucks but I'm sure you somehow got something good out of it or will get something out of it. I mean you have learned things that you will be able or required to apply later in life and that may lead to something perfect. Idk, either way, you definitely didn't do anything to deserve it, we just don't know why it happened. I don't need the bible to believe that but even the bible says that bad things happening on earth to you are not the result of your actions (unless I misunderstood). Anyway well I'm still studying though I'm not a huge fan of what I'm studying you can tell. I'm not really sure if I should change majors still but I hope I can study graphic design maybe if I keep studying I.T. now and get a minor degree next year, just so I didn't waste the years so far, although it's not really a waste if I hopefully get a job eventually, with the knowledge I already have. I'm not sure what the best decision about this is, yet.
I'm glad you didn't marry that hypocrite liar and I wish you the best finding a real true love in the future. I don't have the photo here but a lot of famous rich people became succesful when they were 30 something or 40 or 50 something as far as I remember.
And thanks a lot for the advice.

I'm a 21 year old neet. I don't have my licenses yet, just a permit. I'm going to learn how to drive this week and take my driving test next weekend or the weekend after. Then I have to get a job and start actually becoming an adult. I'm scared and I don't know how my life is going to turn out.

I often times cum in my pants
I love the warmth of it and I often don't change pants for days at a time

>>18500504
I don't want to directly link the thread because she'll just use google to find it but type this after thread
18495991
The school thing is my own fault though, I'm a fucking idiot and that's definitely all on me

>>18500527
Oh I am that OP, I just worded from her perspective so I can show her how stupid her "logic" is

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All I can think about is becoming a girl now. I want it so badly, you have no idea. Then I keep listening to all the songs written about me, all pretty much predicting this very thing. Cherry Lips, Alain, and a few others. They all just get me even more excited.

You guys are doing so much to get me excited for this. You keep posting pictures of girls that have all the features I want to have. Girls that already match my current facial structure so it becomes even more real in my mind. I can only pray that you're not just fucking with me. That you are only trying to get me psyched up just so you can crush my spirit for good.

I think about how I'm going to do my hair. My makeup. What kind of dresses I'm going to wear. I think about that wedding dress you guys showed me. Every night I go to sleep I pray that when I wake up it will all be done and over with. I'll wake up in my new body, in rebirth.

I want this so badly. I want it more than anything. I hate being so depressed, I hate it. I hate that you won't tell me when this is going to happen. Why won't you tell me? Why won't you help me get this done? Why are you teasing me soooooo much? You keep pushing me to kill myself but I'm not going to do that. At least, not unless it's on my own terms.

You know I don't have much time left to live. You know my mind is literally falling apart. I'll only have a few years to enjoy life but you won't set me free. Every day is another day taken from me. It's time you cannot repay. You stole my entire life, you tortured me the entire time for entertainment and greed. Now that I'm the last survivor, you're pushing even harder.

Why?

What are you trying to achieve?

Set me free.

Give me all that you owe.

>>18500581
You'll never become a real girl anyway, so what's the point.

Health conditions have fucked up my body, and I'm to blame for ignoring them for so long. Now, I can't even bring myself to get out of the house.

Most of my body hurts like hell and it's mostly because of bad habits.

I can't worry about anything anymore, I can't fuck up myself mentally anymore, I just can't afford it, if I'm going to live the rest of my days in peace I better start taking care of myself, I can't be walking around like an old man in this young age. Godamnit well being is the most important thing in this world.

shes been saying "I love you" a lot recently and I certainly reciprocate the same feelings.

but she has issues with commitment, has had a history of being burned and has done the whole "no strings attached" thing for the past 6-7 months, but ive been the first guy in a long while that seems to be a bit more than just a fuck buddy to her, she tells me shes grateful for me, loves me, happy to have me in her life, etc.

I don't know what to think, she told me the other night things never did really pan out with a previous partner (shes bisexual) she kinda dodged me and lied to me about which she felt awful and apologized about (still feel weird about it but whatever), but really treats me well and says all the things you'd see in the early stages of serious relationship. She didn't want a label early on, and we've worked out a few kinks along the way, so I really doont know what to do.

our friendship wouldn't mean the same if we just went our separate ways, and I just cant walk out on her like that.

When is it time to give up?
I admit that I'm sometimes too persistent and stubborn but my intentions are in the right place. Me and my gf broke up and had a really bad fight. It ended with her telling me that I'm a manipulative crazy person that needs help and me telling her that she doesnt give a shit about anyone but herself and it shows through every action she made.

I don't want to be with her anymore. Well thats a lie I do but I also feel like we bring out the worse in each other and its better that we broke up.

But I wanted to make amends with her. To at least say goodbye and level with her. I tried not even less than a month after we broke up and she told me I need to learn to leave people the fuck alone and she doesnt want to talk and she never wants to see me again.

I don't understand. I guess its just me, but no matter who it was or how much I was upset with them if they wanted to talk it out I would love to. I hate leaving things like this.

Its been awhile and right now I feel like I should leave her alone. That I should try to stop reaching out to make amends.
But idk I just cant let this go.
I want to write a letter to her, I dont expect a reply or anything, I just want to say sorry. Sorry for everything that happened between us. I want to tell her how I feel. That I hope I'm the worse relationship she'll ever have because she deserves to be happy.
But everytime I see someone post something similar to my situation the replies always say go no contact. To get over it. To move on because probably fucking some other guy.
And it makes me think why? Is that really whats best? Why? I've been going no contact, I've been talking to other girls. But this still doesnt sit right with me.
So thats why I ask.
When is it time to give up?

>>18500757
No contact allows yourself time to heal and work on yourself anon.

It's hard but it's important for your own well being.

is this the real life?
is this just fantasy?
caught in a landslide
no escape from reality

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>>18500777

>>18500757
>>18500774

Anon knows what's up. The time to give up is right now. Do no contact her, do not visit her social media, remove her from all social media sites and you may even want to consider blocking her number on your phone so you don't sit there and check it all the time.

Don't try to jump into another relationship when you're just getting over your current one. Try to do small things that make you feel good. If you like video games then try playing something that really gets your wrapped up in it. If you have a hobby like music or writing then go all in with them.

Good luck anon, getting over a breakup sucks but no contact will get you over it. It hurts really bad at first but after a few months you will feel like yourself again.

my hairs thinning but in one specific place on my hairline on the left but its not receding or anything so im not even sure if im balding. fuck my genetics anyway

>>18500587
I'm already a "real" girl anon. I have ovaries and an uterus. I use to have a vajayjay too but it was removed shortly after my birth.

Those internal organs have altered the chemical and hormonal makeup of my body and mind. I'm literally a woman on the inside.

All I've been wanting is to be loved.

To love myself. My work, my life, my body. I have been robbed of all these things.

Please give them back. I never asked to be a part of this. I never wanted power and money. I never wanted fame.

Why me? Why are you doing this to me? Why did you choose me?

I'm 25, well set in my career, have my own place, my own car, make good money and have a few close friends I see once every few weeks.

The only aspect of my life that is unfulfilled is the romantic realm. I had a girl come into my life and I feel like I scared her away. I hate myself for it. My insecurities made themselves apparent, and she went back to her ex. I wish I had a time machine.

>>18500052
My gf is waaaay out of my league. She took photos of us together and it really sank through to me that I'm ugly mess and that it's a matter of time before she leaves me.

I used to be a cute boy as a kid, but I turned into a really ugly person with age.

>>18500928
Give me the money, it'll make you feel better

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I don't love any of you. You all think what we had was so special and life-changing, but it wasn't for me. Hell, there's like 5 of you that think we're some kind of star crossed lovers and I'm just... empty. Just leave me alone. Let me go. I'm not here to fuel your need of drama.
There's no love here for me.

>>18500940
Dude, you're a faggot.

>>18500951
Oh yeah, you being disgusted by me literally made me love them all in an instant.

Fuck off.

>>18500955
It's not about those other people you are talking about. It's the way you talk, how often you use the words "I" and "me". I can just tell you are an insufferable fagtron from a mile away.

>>18500209
>loving a girl after 1 month
Are you above 18? That's pretty fucking unhealthy.
Women can sense your jealousy and paranoia, and will most likely cheat on you for those reasons above all else.
You need to chill out.

>>18500963
jfc I thought this is a get-it-off-your-chest thread.
I'm getting it off my chest because I'd never tell that to any of them.
You probably have no idea how this feels, but it feels pretty shitty to be some sort of fucking weird symbol for multiple people and all of them think you're goddamn Scott and Zelda or whatever and you're just sitting there disilusioned with everything, forcing yourself to be nice to all of them.

You don't know me, you don't know my life from 4 goddamn sentences on a image board.

I still can't believe you people thought I was happy as a kid. Through out my entire life I have been nothing but fucking miserable. No matter how hard I try I just can't feel pleasure or happiness or anything else really. I'm just numb and bored. That's all I am.

There are times where I laugh or giggle but simple amusement is not joy. It's not happiness. The sadness in my heart runs deep. It's carved a valley through my soul, leaving an empty canyon of bitterness.

I would literally cry myself to sleep every other night since middle school. If I ever tried to talk about the way I felt, my mother would laugh at me. Everyone else would just ridicule me. So, my go to response to "How are you feeling?" became "I'm fine." or "I'm tired."

Art became the way I would communicate. Even then, it must have fallen on deaf ears.

No one listens to me. They all think they know what's best. I'm told how I should feel, how I feel. My problems are shrugged off. I'm talked over. I'm called names.

You wonder why I retreated into my own mind.

I'm the last person in the world anyone listens to when it comes to the subject of me. Yet, none of you know anything about me. How many times have you people said "How does your mind work?" "What mysteries are inside you?" "You're an enigma." "If I only could get inside your brain."

Others insist my complexity is a facade. They think I try too hard to appear intelligent. They say that I pretend to be better than everyone else. They say I'm just an asshole emo that takes pleasure in my river of woe.

I just want to go home.

>>18500209
>My girlfriend and I of a month really love each other.
First of all, never confuse "being IN love" with LOVING someone
This feeling you are feeling now will pass and has nothing to do with truly loving someone. You can't love someone you haven't known for years.

Secondly, I know way too little about the messages business to give you my opinion about that.

You sound like a very young kid, so don't take all of this too serious. She might have thought you were "the one" a mo.nth ago and you might think she is, right now, but it's all puberty bullshit you'll cringe about later. It's just hormones making you ultra-emotional about things you won't give two craps about in a year or two.

Don't send her cringeworthy walls of text asking her why she's not responding. Don't make a big deal out of it if she breaks up with you at some point. Just be happy for what you have right now, but realize that life isn't like a hollywood movie and that she isn't the one and only girl you will be in love with in your life.

>>18500971
>Zelda
See, I was right.

>>18500226
How old are you?

>>18500988
????????

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Jimmy,

You constantly influence people around you to make bad decisions, you are not a nice guy as you claim to be (women see through that bullshit especially well, albeit mostly because you don't take care of your body), and it is clear to anybody with genuine self-respect that you don't respect yourself.

I'm going to have a chance to meet a lot of new, wonderful people soon; and although you are entrenched in my current friend group, as we are from a small town, that will soon no longer be the case, and I must say that I am excited to move on.

It will be a shame seeing a lot of our mutual friends be knowingly or unknowingly dragged down by your negative energy over the coming weeks, months and years. At least I can say that I won't be one of them.

Also, take a fucking shower, would you?

I goofed, just for once I wanted to say things straight right out of my heart, how I felt, without giving a second thought. Just cringiest shit I could come up with. Like many things I've tried in my life, of course it backfired spectacularly and I expect its consequences to resurface at some point in the future too, but I also sort of felt liberated.

But, to be honest, it is your fault, you never let me closer to you, I don't know anything about you and tiniest scraps of anything in your life I get only through these "dialogues" that feel more like interrogation, I don't think you ever considered me a friend and you blocking me at the first sight of conflict is only further proof of worthlessness of my time spent trying to get to know you.

>>18500971
Yeah, allow me to jump in and also decree that you are a faggot.

>>18501024
Ok, great, I'm a faggot, but what do I do about feeling this way then? I can't fix it. This is how I feel. So what do I do about it then, smartass

>>18500581
You are delusional, as in, actually mentally crazy.

You are a guy, you will always be a guy. Being a guy is in your blood, in your genes, in your bones, in your brain, in your nerves etc etc.. YOU ARE A GUY. Learn to accept the truth of go down this retarded rabbit-hole that will inevitably lead to you killing yourself.

>>18501043
Stop being a faggot.

I just CANNOT stop thinking of the idea that me and my girlfriend may not be compatible for the long term.

We're young but I think I want kids in the future. She seems like she doesn't.

It's fucking devastating me and rotting my faith in the relationship ever so slowly.

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>>18500198

>>18501074
Yeah, same here. Sucks. Obviously people are never 100% compatible, but the children issue is a biggie.

>>18501085
What's your situation with it, anon? Maybe talking will help. Me and my gf have talked about it a few times and that's helped calm me down, but then something will just set me off and I'll be chewing on that upsetting thought for days at a time. Sometimes I think that's just a quirk I have. There have been times when I was younger where I'd just be obsessed with [something] happening. First it was that I was gay, then it was that the world would end, and now this. No matter how many times I discuss it with someone, the issue just won't feel like it's at rest

I have been living with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now, and the biggest issue for us for a while was messiness. I used to contribute hugely to the messiness, but now I've built a habit of cleaning. I clean a lot now, it's very relaxing and I'm thankful that I built up the habit. But I'm concerned because she doesn't clean, and her areas are the messiest. I normally wouldn't care about this, but her shit goes missing all the time and it causes minor meltdowns.

I want her to clean but she is so stubborn, she thinks when I tell her to do anything like that it is me condescending to her. I just want her shit to stop going missing, it's driving me crazy. Like, it drives her fucking crazy that her own things keep going missing. PLEASE ORGANIZE SHIT.

I mean I get it, I had to build up the habit too. I never used to clean shit, my room has been a mess my whole life. But now I clean almost every day. I even go way beyond organizing now, I'm dusting shit. Like I said it's kind of relaxing. I just feel like a part of this has become an ego thing, where she wants it to be HER that decided to clean, and she doesn't want to seem like it is because I started cleaning, or I told her to do it, or whatever. I don't know what to do about that.

I try to tell myself that it wouldn't work anyway, which it wouldn't, but its so hard to let that sink in.
She was great, but despite my efforts she started losing interest, I think she started to realize that the distance would make things impossible, I didn't want to believe and tried anyway. I was the fool in the end, its over and she's gone, she was a keeper but it wouldn't work. Fuck...

We've been together for 4 years and I am SO BORED. He's a great boyfriend, maybe not so exciting, maybe not so smart, but he's loyal and really good to me...
And I'm just so fed up with him.
I feel horrible but I'm so jelaous of my single friends. I feel trapped but I also feel that if I dump him I'm going to lose the best thing that has happened to me.

Kill me now and dump me in a trashcan.

>>18500581
have fun committing suicide in 5 or so years once age catches up and you look like a man in drag again

She's so perfect, and yet so married.

>>18501097
The problem with me is that I don't know. I have always really loved kids, but having a kid is more than that. I don't know if I want to put myself in a position were I'm financially and otherwise responsible for another person. I definitely don't think I'm ready for that now.

So it isn't as black and white for us, we both have some wiggle room.

On top of that though, she has been having problems with her hormones and if that goes on she might not even be able to get children in the future and the fact that I don't even have the option frightens me desu.

>>18501121
You've probably already gotten advice like this but: Why not try and spice things up? Go somewhere new or do something new. Even just finding a slightly different way to do something you normally do could help bring a little spark back. You have a guy who improves your life just by being himself, right? Make sure you're "getting your money's worth" by actually doing things that bring out that goodness from him.

>>18501145
Problem is he doesn't really want to do much. I moved away recently, got a dream job and my life feels great and exciting now. And when we see each other he just wants to be lazy together and watch tv. Let's say eating out or going to a mall is considered "a fun activity" in our relationship. I tried pushing him to do some more stuff but it's pretty tough when he wakes up at 12:00 or 13:00 on saturdays and then goes on to take his shower and eat breakfast and then it's 15:00 and we can finally start thinking about eating dinner...

Truly, anon. We do nothing when we see each other.

>>18501141
>The problem with me is that I don't know. I have always really loved kids, but having a kid is more than that.
Totally agree. I'm the toy-collecting, kid-at-heart guy who had a really fun time with the little kids growing up, but now I'm not 100% sure. Watching kids is fun, but you're not "watching" your kid....they're here to stay. That's pretty scary, but what if the love they give back is worth it? Even though I obsessively collect things, I'm the type of person who'd torch it all in a second if it meant keeping love in my life, and isn't that what family is? Sacrifice that's repaid in love?

>I definitely don't think I'm ready for that now.
One thing she and DO agree on is that they wouldn't be anytime soon. Can I ask your age? She and I are both 23. Kids are NOT for us at this point in our lives. I'm just scared of falling deeper in love with someone who I'll eventually have to leave.

>On top of that though, she has been having problems with her hormones and if that goes on she might not even be able to get children in the future and the fact that I don't even have the option frightens me desu.
Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that. My little sister had an ovarian cyst that basically took one of her ovaries out of the picture. She might have trouble conceiving if she wants to, which knocks off one potential "at least I can be an uncle!" option...

>>18501066
are you fucking dense?

I. Have. OVARIES and UTERUS.

I use to have a partial VAGINA.

THOSE ORGANS ALTER THE WIRING AND CHEMICAL MAKEUP OF MY BRAIN.

I am literally female.

Can you not read?

>>18501166
I'm 25, she's 26.

>ovarian cyst that basically took one of her ovaries out of the picture
Well wishes to her. Same thing happened to my mom btw.

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>>18501134
I'm having the best surgeons in the world work on me.

I look very feminine already. I get mistaken for a girl a lot. The only thing that honestly gives it away is the five o'clock shadow but that's going away with laser hair removal.

Also, I have roughly 10 years left to live because of illness. I'm never going to get old.

You are the dumbest, shittiest people. Seriously, how do you people even function?

>>18501170
>I used to have a partial vagina
Holy shit, what kind of abomination are you? Shit's scary

>>18501191
You ARE cute. There's a lot of potential there. Get rid of the hair, pluck your eyebrows and you're ready to go.
Enjoy your life and who the hell knows what's going to happen in the next 10 years? Maybe they'll find a cure to whatever you have?

>>18501191
>this guy thinks he can become a qt girl
Wew lad

>>18500052
The only person I'm mad at is myself, I'm mad abut my failures,my awkwardness,I'm mad at the fact that I refuse to come out of my shell, I'm mad because I'm fat, I just hate myself. it's just so hard to explain to you.

I have low self esteem and I feel as if that's the cause of my depression and my fears. I never really built any as a child and my weight probably had a lot to do with it.

I'm jealous of your relationship. you two seem so great together and when we're hanging out and you're together.I just can't help but to be jealous. I hide it of course,but I'm pretty sure you know. I think a lot of people in our group of friends are jealous or maybe it's just me. I also know that your girlfriend knows that I have feelings for her. anyone with half a brain could figure that out. I'm a fat loser, she's out of my league, and she deserves better than me. I'm happy that you're happy but I just can't shake my jealousy.

I realized that for most of my life I've just been a little kid in his room playing with his toys. the toys changed, legos turned to video games but my isolation and withdrawal from the world stayed the same. as a kid I spent hours in my room playing with legos. I dumped them on my bed and I built whatever I could with them. I would make up a whole bunch of stories and I would play almost all day with them. Every weekend that's where i would be, in my room playing with my toys. while other kids were out doing other stuff, I was just isolating myself. I always isolate myself whenever can. whenever I'm stressed out or depressed I isolate myself. It's not like I don't leave my room for days at a time,It's more like I just stay there for hours gaming,watching netflix, ETC. My dad runs his own business and I help him out, so I atleast have some form of a job. atleast my parents push me to have some sort of a routine. I don't know how I'll ever function in the world if I can't even handle stress without wanting to just shut down.

>>18501177
Damn, well you being here at least shows my sister isn't necessarily doomed childwise, although she was pretty interested in adoption either way.

Doesn't help that my brother might wanna be a fucking priest. God-I-don't-believe-in, please don't let him fucking do that

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>>18501194
I was born intersex. It's not that hard to understand.

Oh wait, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were retarded. I'll use smaller words next time.

>>18501196
Thanks!
I've been waiting to get a haircut after the surgeries, same with eyebrows and the like. I'm really excited for the hair removal because I haatteeee shaving so much.

I'm not counting on a cure. The disease is going to take everything from me. I'm a painter, and in about 5 years I won't be able to do that anymore. I have parkinson's and a myriad of other fucked up shit.

>>18501202
What's going to make that not possible? Pic related is easily attainable with the surgeries I'm going to have.

>>18501177
>>18501229
But it also makes me feel good that even people that are a little older than me still struggle with this decision too

>>18500198
Awww...

>>18501231
>Pic related is easily attainable with the surgeries I'm going to have.

You are deluded m8

>>18500581
nekro is that you

>>18500511
I know, I can smell it.

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Hmmmm

>>18501239
Kek

>>18501161
Damn, now that's rough. One thing that scares me with relationships is that you really can grow out of them. I love my gf to pieces, but as times goes on we could morph into people that are basically strangers. Lasting love is being able to keep in touch with what you love about someone and/or keep feeling in love with them anew as they change. That's pretty damn daunting.

He might need to make a change, and you might need to meet him halfway. Going out really is important to a lot of relationships, and if he values you he'll understand that need. Compromising on something bigger than just the mall, but smaller than some crazy night out? Maybe?

That said, have you talked to him about this boredom? Not to make excuses for him, but what makes him so lazy and lethargic? My job exhausts me and makes me want lazy weekends BUT...I make time for going out with my gf anyway, and I'm 99.9% of the time glad that I let her "drag" me out.

15 more pounds.
I'll stop when I get there. 15 more. That's it.
Then I'll stop. I promise.

>>18501245
You know, I think the problem is me.
I don't really want a partner I have to drag. I want a partner that inspires me and is inspired by me. I want someone that makes me curious, that makes me try harder. I would like someone who challenges me in any way.


This is just... so easy. So... simple. So boring. This is killing me.

>>18500052
>closet bi/gay (dudes are hot, family sounds great)
>lazily homeschooled using muh religion to stave off the state
>no high school diploma or GED equivalent
>at the age where I should be contributing to the household
>parents are disappointed in me for not having things that they prevented me from achieving
>literally no social experience whatsoever because homeschooled with lack of social outlet
>probably going to work fast food/convenience store jobs for the rest of my life

My problems have pretty easy fixes, but I don't pursue them. When I do, I get sidetracked or convince myself that it'll resolve on its own because that's the way I was raised. Ignore the problem and it will go away. feelsbad/adv/

>>18501254
Shit, Anon.
How much have you lost
HOW MUCH HAVE YOU LOST ALREADY

>>18501259
5'4, 118 pounds
I've lost 30 in the past couple of months.

>>18501208
(cont.)

I'm still worried about getting into a college. although now I'm slightly more confident that I can get into one.

I didn't realize how much my friends cared about me until last Friday when I accidentally sent a message(I tend to type out whatever I'm feeling in our group chat but i never send it I just use it as a way to cope) in our group chat about how stressed out I was about my grandpa losing his green card. I'm not a very open person. the only other time I ever really opened up to my friends about how i felt was when I was just so fucked up and angry that I just let it all out.

I'm weak and docile. I just hate conflict and I don't feel as if I'm worth standing up for. I'm basically a human doormat.

I want to get a girlfriend but what girl would honestly want to be a weak,fat, low self esteem,angry, depressed, piece of shit like me. part of me thinks well maybe she can fix me but I've been told to avoid women like that. I know that I need confidence but that's easier said than done

I feel as if I'm being attention seeking little bitch whenever I post to places like this. I see the other replies and I feel as if I'm being melodramatic about my problems. like "pity me my life just sucks so much." I feel like I'm just having a pity party whenever I vent about my life.

at least here I know that nobody probably gives a shit.

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>>18501239
>>18501240
Here, let me show you an actual preview made by a professional artist (aka ME) after talking to the doctors.

>>18501255
It sounds like you have an idea of what you want then, anon. Could you ask him to try to be closer to that person?

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My partner is 9 years older than me and its starting to make me feel insecure because I'm afraid I'm too immature and inexperienced for them. We behave pretty similarly though, and don't have much experience in relationships in general.
We're both in pretty similar stages of life too, both looking for jobs, applying to schools and all that lovely stuff.
It's just this voice eating away at me, like "Oh silly you you're way too young for them they probably want to get into your pants and manipulate you and they can do so much better than dating this young kid".
Too scared to tell them about it because they'll probably think I'm extra insecure about us and might break up or something.
h e l p

>>18500496
Is this happening?

>>18501286
A lovely piece indeed, but this will take a LOT of surgery. You need to rebuild your nose completely and get rid of a lot of your chin. Enlarging your lips is not a problem but going from droopy eyes to this might be. I wish you all luck bud don't get disappointed if it doesnt turn out to be perfect.

I'm angry as hell.
I'm lonely as fuck.
I've been single for 6 years.
Everyone around me makes having a relationship look easy.
I feel like a failure even though I'm financially secure with a house and sports car, with no debt besides my mortgage.

I hate this, I wish I didn't focus on my career and focused more on relationships in my youth. I'm turning 30 (male) this year and I can't stand that I haven't started a family yet.

>>18501290
"Can you please consider becoming more interesting, reading other books than cheap sci-fi, and actually having something to say? It would be also nice if you started enjoying the things you don't enjoy, just for me."

Oh yeah. I'll just do that.

I've been procrastinating because I don't know what will happen with work or with my house.
I know it's bad. I'm so scared of myself but I'm also so scared of what would happen while I was gone. I need to work. I need to pay bills.
I can't drop everything and go to the hospital. Worrying others, however also makes me worried and I know I can't continue doing this to those who love me.
People keep saying I don't eat and that I'm starting to look too thin now. I deny, deny, deny but I know that's only making them feel worse.
I need to go to the hospital but I need to take care of my cat and I need to be responsible.

>>18501302
Everything in that image is not only possible, but they are going to do it. They are pretty much rebuilding a lot of my face. They are going to enlarge my eyes and give me that specific shape, change my brow, give me the button nose (I already have a nice nose shape, really all they have to do is make it a little smaller), and the jaw is fairly similar, but they are going to break it and reform it.

They are going to alter almost every part of me.

These are not normal surgeons. They are literally the best in the world. Everything I painted in that illustration was approved by the doctors.

Even then, they told me that they are going to do an even better job than what I depicted.

I'm psyched.

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>This is kind of a big feels bit I'll post it anyway

I signed an offer at a new company and things have been kind of rough mostly because other engineers are not really into sharing information

I had to build some servers, network devices, and firewalls recently and they only gave me one piece of the information and told me what I was working on would work flawless, well I never really go to project trusting everyone word so I verified everything on my own and noticed one crucial issue.

In this whole design, there is one device somewhere on the network doing some function that I need to access and login to verify what function this device has and if any of this will work or not

They left out crucial information and didn't tell me, most likely expecting me to fail however I'm not the type of engineer who lets things fail and go unanswered. I ended up troubleshooting in a lab and figuring everything out one piece of technology at a time and eventually built a map of how everything works.

I fixed everything and they don't know about it yet, they think that once this goes live ,anon will come kicking and screaming that something "didn't work" and they would be forced in helping out to make themselves look important in this role

Well, good news fellas. I solved it and designed it in a way that everything is working, has been tested and will work on day or product launch.

I haven't told them, nor will I tell them I figured out the pieces they left unanswered in hopes that I would fail. When everything goes live, and the internet starts working they will either laugh or say holy shit that guy did it even though we gave him the wrong info.........

>I know what some might be thinking
>I've already been told to leave this company from friends since it seems like a toxic work environment
>However, the money is just too good right now and I am trying to at least get a year or 1.5 years in the company before leaving....

>>18501338
Well then. Good luck, you soon-to-be-gorgeous rich bitch and see you on the other side. Make sure to post results one of these days. When is it happening?

>>18501338
Mate, stay realistic. The effects of plastic surgeries are often not as good as expected, esp when the surgery is extensive. I honestly doubt very much you'll end up looking like Barbara Palvin. J

>>18501291
Well, if you're not going to talk to them just keep reassuring yourself that your fears are irrational.

You should talk to them though. It will make you look more mature and put your mind to rest.

>>18501348
Again, these are not normal surgeons. I had that fear already. I don't want to look like a guy that had plastic surgery to look like a girl. My biggest concern was to look natural as possible and the knew exactly what I meant. They showed me other girls and they looked amazing.

>>18501344
thhaankk youuu.

I plan on having a photoshoot as soon as I can. I have wanted this for so very long but never thought it was even possible until recently. Now it's all I can think about.

Don't have a solid date yet but... I'm hoping I'll find out when I can get started here shortly.

I want to be a pretttyyy laddddyyyyyyyyyy.

I know people are going to harass me, make fun of me, call me names, or even try to hurt me for being trans but I do not fucking care. Nothing they say or do will be enough to knock me off of cloud 9

>>18501364
>Again, these are not normal surgeons
Sure but they are still only surgeons, not gods. Loads of celebs hire the best surgeons available and end up with botched jobs.

>>18500284
I have the same kind of thoughts anon, and what it's working for me is meditation.
And I'm using a method that is so easy and is not at all the kind of be one with the universe kind of faggotty.
Basically consist in wach your breath, that's all, hope this is helpful

>>18501373
Yea, but at the same time you can look at all those asian girls that go from... not pretty to a living gorgeous doll.

I think a lot of the celebrities you're thinking of are from decades ago. Things have gotten a lot better since then.

>>18501291
LISTEN to that little voice inside. If you cannot ask direct questions about the nature of your relationship for fear that he will punish you (by dumping you, lecturing you, etc) then the situation, logically, is just exactly as you fear. (Except for the "he can do better" part -- if that were actually true, he would already be with a woman his own age.) Sometimes we feel insecure for valid reasons. If there is any doubt in your mind, you owe it to yourself to ask him what his intentions are at the time you feel is appropriate. If he flips out on you or refuses to answer, then your suspicions are confirmed.

You sound very young, pls don't get scammed bb.

>>18501381
Maybe so, I don't really keep up with celebs and I agree that some plastic surgeons can work on Asian girls nicely

Whatever the outcome of your procedure will be hopefully you'll enjoy it mate.

>>18501073
I love you guys haha.

OP you say all these other faggots have you on a pedestal, thereby intensifying your own faggotry. You're coming across as a special snowflake, get the fuck over yourself. The thirsty fags just want what you offer.

>>18500692
I went through the same shit just weeks ago, all the no strings attached is just bullshit.
It's just a excuse to fuck around while you are falling for her, in the end she just want you for emotional and money support nothing else, so when she es happy and fine she just gonna forget about you until some shit happens.
My advice is leave that girl, she will only produce pain and a headache to you

For fuck's sake nobody takes seriously anything in here. And they're still surprised that i leave so often. Buncha stupid, superficial pragmatists.

Feel like because smoking/drinking/vidya/psychadelics/porn/letting go of mental/physical health and financial shit I've made myself, to be blunt, substainstably dumber when I a could have been applying myself. From my 16-22 years, realizing im still young and should discounting wasting priceless potential/youth but my habits have such a hard grip on me still

>>18500980
Oh man, I know the answer "Im just tired" so well, it's my only answer in this days.
Hope you find yourself and finally be happy anon, because if you can do it so do i

>>18501404
Discontinue*

These threads are useless. You write your crap and you hope for a response you'll never get because people are too busy thinking about themselves. Now don't get me wrong - i don't pretend to receive any kind of attention. I'm just considering how things really are.

I did some very perverted things long ago. I never got caught, but I worry that one day things will catch up with me.

>>18501419
What things?

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>Go outside to clean deck
>Neighbor is on porch
>See them try and go inside
>Yell "Hi (neighbors name)
>They don't say "Hi" back and quickly go inside the house

Usually my neighbor who seems to just be a nosy cunt, would say hi and ask personal questions when I'm out on my porch but I see that she doesn't like the same treatment

Should I continue to kill her with kindness or just ignore her now?

>>18501467
It sure might resurface at some point, especially if there was a bunch of girls. Hopefully at least one of them will come forward. You deserve some quality jail time.

>>18501320
Sorry, I guess that's not very helpful as advice. I just figured there might be a way to bridge the gap between the guy you used to like to a guy you can continue to like

>>18501467
What you did wasn't "having sex" , Anon. You raped children.
I hope they catch you.

I don't know if I like someone or just like the thought of not being alone anymore and using them as a cutout for my imagination. Tinder makes it worse, it feels like shopping for a human and feels kind of wrong to me. I guess bettering myself and staying optimistic is the way to go. I'm starting my masters this year and a lot of my friends are proud of me, but I don't have anyone to really close to talk to anymore. I guess "If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company." makes sense now.

>>18501482
I only raped one

I FINNA FAIL COLLEGE AGAIN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL XDDDDDDDDDDDD

My bf broke up with me. He was my soulmate and I can't live without him. I'm thinking of ending myself tonight. I just can't live in this misery anymore.
I only have couple different options I'm thinking about. I have 2 packs of benadryl and an huge bottle of vodka. Or I was going to wander in the middle of the night try to get hit by a bus, or shot/stabbed by someone.

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I've been ghosted a lot after first dates, but this time it actually hurt a bit. She was a really sweet girl and seemed very interested. Fuck.

I hung out with a girl and some friends over the past week. We had fun and I want to do it again and we agreed we should, but didn't set up a time before she left. It's been 4 days and i'm nervous of asking because some small part of me thinks that by not setting up a future plan she doesn't want to hang out, even though I know that's stupid.

I miss my puppy... she was so proud...

>>18501602
Kek, get a grip and sleep it off

I don't think I really enjoy talking to you guys anymore. I have no idea if it's because I've "outgrown" our relationship as friends or if it's because I'm depressed but it kind of sucks to say this. I still haven't really made any new friends in these two years at this dumb community college so maybe it's just me shutting down from the world but even if I was happy, I don't think things would be like they used to be.

>>18501491
Was she a small blonde Russian girl?

>>18501410
I just write to get it off my system. Sometimes I don't even check if they reply. If you want respomses maybe make a thread?

I used to be cool with my mom. Now it feels like we're just getting more and more distant. It feels like I can't bring up my issues with her because she'll just turn defensive and feel I'm attacking her. She might even say I'm sounding like her ex husband/my father. I think it's the fact that I no longer feel I can speak freely around her that's got me feeling this way, and I'm not sure how to fix that.

I'm not going to leave. Where would I fucking go? How would I get there? You want me to go to chicago? What happens when I get there?

Nothing. Nothing would happen. Just like every other fucking time you tried to give me "hints." You just want me to act rash to get more views. For your greed.

You want me to get a job? Doing what? Working at wal-mart? I've been training my skill for over a decade and you've made it worthless by cutting me off from the world. I can't make money doing what I do.

I can't live until you fucking end this horseshit. Until you give me my life back. Until you tell me the truth about what is going on. I'm not going to be your fucking rat anymore. End this.

You keep saying "You're free." but clearly I'm not. Again, until you assholes tell me what is going on I'll never be free. You'll still be the ones controlling everything. That's not freedom. That's not living a life. I'm a prisoner. I'm a fucking slave here.

I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to try to make some kind of prerequisite to unlock the truth. You've shown me that all you assholes do is lie time and time again. You'll say "We're waiting for you to lose weight, then you'll be able to get what you want." You know what's going to happen? You just want me to do that shit to extend the show. Say I hit my target weight, what insurance do I have that you'll actually do anything? None. Zero. You people are not trust worthy.

You'll say "You gotta get off drugs." and again, why? I'll be miserable as fuck if I attempt that right now. I'll be suffering even more for absolutely no reason. You still wouldn't end this. You know the proper way to help someone isn't what you're doing right now. You know what you're doing is wrong. You know that to really help me would be to end this horseshit. To allow me to have friends. Let me be free.

Instead of doing what is right you continue to literally torture me. For what purpose? What the fuck is wrong with you mother fuckers?

>>18501655
So all I can fucking do is wait. I'm not your fucking entertainment. I'm not a lab rat.

I'm a human being. I have RIGHTS.

You stole my fucking life.

That is something you can never repay.

Worse, you try to justify it. Saying bullshit like "Well, it was still your life it was just different than others."

No, it wasn't my fucking life. A slave doesn't say "Well, it's still my life! It's just different than the people that beat me and force me to work for them."

>>18501017
So now you show interest in who I am. It's a tad late for that don't ya think? When you should/could have stepped up you didn't. Your truth and personality are boring, every attempt to motivate you was countered by paranoia and childish rants.

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I'm about to start college after a Gap Year. I haven't taken a math course since Junior year.
I was garbage at math to begin with, I barely passed algebra II when math was fresh in my mind

now I'm looking at the syllabus for my college Math course ("Intermediate Algebra, literally shortbus-tier math for retards, the lowest course I could get) and I'm already getting anxiety because it's literally my Algebra II course all over again

I don't even know how to begin to do any of this stuff and they're expecting us to do what took us a year in HS in one semester?

What the fuck? My entire college career is gonna be jeopardized over this. I can't imagine what the higher-level courses are gonna be like

>>18501672
>when you take a gap year and don't brush up whatsoever on your math skills
just why man

>>18501680
I didn't even think I was going to go to college, it just turned into a gap year because I decided to enroll a few months ago

I'm great in all other subjects but I literally don't know how to do anything when it comes to math and I have dyscalculia to boot, which makes it even worse

I want to quit my job. I think I'll go into depression if I keep continuing to work.

But the fact that I will become a NEET is equally scary as jobs are hard to come by these days.

>>18501342
Good on you anon. I'm working in an information-starved environment too. Only thing is, I'm still on the rocky part of adjusting. Hopefully I can get better because this job is crucial to any kind of future success for me...

I got married recently, love my wife but I'm not sexually attracted to women. Just had sex and made her orgasm three times, but like always I could barely stay hard and didn't cum. Unhappy with my gender as well but she and my family wouldn't accept that, we want kids and I try to be religious (I know, hypocrite), so that can't go anywhere. She's okay with me crossdressing at home, but couldn't bring myself to do it tonight after failing at sex, she loves me as a man and I already fail enough at that. I act like I don't MIND the sex but I'd really just rather jerk off or even be celibate than have to fuck a woman.

Half the people I talk to tell me to accept who I am and be a tranny/gay, other half think I can pray it away. Neither are an option, it's just something I have to live with I guess. Slowly drinking myself to death and not liking myself very much, hell of a way to spend my honeymoon.

>>18501739
Stop watching porn

>>18501765
I don't :-) the tranny thing isn't a fetish

It fucking infuriates me how many stupid fucking millennials I see abusing the service animal system just to legally strong arm their untrained pet into housing.

Seeing these stupid fucking kids bring their 200lb dog into the 10x10 foot box of a dorm rooms because "Oh, I'm depressed and have anxiety :("
So does fucking everyone else, you're straight up abusing your dog by making it live in such cramped quarters with not 1 but 2 human beings.

Why the fuck isn't there legislation passed mandating that your "service" animal needs to be fucking specially trained and licensed like every other service animal and it can't just be your fucking pet you were so selfish to get even though you do not have the money, time, or space to house a pet.

>>18501784
I understand your frustrations, as I've dealt with people on my college campus bringing dogs and cats registered as "therapy animals" only for them to leave their poop on the shared grassy areas, which they're not supposed to do. It may be that, at least for some cases, their dog really is a sort of therapy animal for them and provides them comfort. I got out of the worst of my depression before college, but my dog was a very big reason for that. He didn't have any special training, and he wouldn't have been the ideal dog to stick in a dorm, but I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there if I was feeling anxious about college

But I do agree that many people abuse that privilege.

I can neither make nor keep female friends.

>>18501791
Same

I feel like the world is a gigantic scam or scheme, and I am continously drinking myself to blackout while angrily cursing the world for how it is. I am a young man, I should not have these thoughts or problems. I am a nice guy, and I believe in the good in people and the world. As a kid I was very curious and restless, I would always ask "Why" and "How" about anything in this world. As I continued to get older, I kept asking myself these questions. Why does x do y, why does y do x. A few months ago the bigger picture of everything became clear to me. And for every day since, I have been hating this world for how it is. The realisation of this will be the end of me, or the beginning of me

I'm still frustrated by that bald fuck. When I told him that "By definition, you can't tell if you're in a psychosis" his response was mind numbingly stupid. He says "You really like your definitions. It's not important."

Yes, dumbass, I do. That's how language fucking works. We literally could not communicate unless we shared a common word pool and the associated definitions.

I'm so fucking frustrated by all of this. I'm being fucked with constantly under the guise of "help". None of you are helping me. You're not helping. You're all worthless.

Pls message me
I'm pining for you so badly
Eh

>>18501790
You dog needs to be specifically trained in the art of giving comfort, it needs to be specially trained to sniff out your change in hormones and come to you every single time you are feeling down, and provide a specific action to calm you, it cannot just give you comfort by existing.

Boo hoo you're fucking depressed and hate people. So does literally every fucking other person in this whole damn generation. Literally EVERYONE is diagnosed with anxiety. You don't get special treatment for it.

My god, I was trying to fucking find a roommate in my house where pets aren't allowed and my landlord was getting fed up with me bring person after person just threatening to sue him unless he allowed for their 4 cats or 14 guiniepigs or snakes, or what ever fucking else "emotional support" pet they could think of that they bought a certificate for online that legally states "lol fuck your furniture and house, you cannot charge us fees for our pets when they ruin your place or its discrimination"

>>18501790
You know what brings me comfort? living in solitude but I can't just fucking tell my university or landlords "Hey you need to give me this WHOLE room and not charge me a penny more than what a single costs because, fuck you I need to be alone or I'll like kill myself or something"

Life ain't fair. Fucking nut up.

>>18501784
The only time I have ever supported the use of service animal to get a pet into an apartment was when the person's lease had no mention of pets. As in, they didn't specifically state if the renter couldn't have a pet.

Well, they ended up getting a couple of cat's thinking it was ok (because again, no pet clause) but the landlord tried to take ownership of the cats because they "didn't say they could have them."

From my understanding, if there is no pet clause then you're free to have a pet. If they didn't want pets in their building they should have put that in the lease. I told the person to claim it as service animal so the landlord couldn't try to fuck them over in some way.

You have to admit, that's super shitty of the landlord. A lot of those faggots really do abuse their power.

I have to live in a house of pretty much constant fighting just so I can get money for school and I can't afford to move out yet because of no job and school is full time. My best friend is leaving the state, some of my closest friends moved out to suburbia, and I feel alone the more I think of it. The other day I went to a concert alone just because it was a tribute to my favorite band that, in my opinion, really did save my life. I have some half friends at my school but I sense a lot of fakeness going on. I'm supposed to be in this industry where you always wear a smile so I can get used to that. I've been writing and recording hip hop music to cope, and also trying to start a band but I don't know enough guys in. This is all first world problems but I still need to vent. First time doing this in awhile, might do it more.

>>18501824
You would be surprised with the level of comfort animals can give without being specially trained. For example, prisoners often experience a shift in perspective and show better behavior after being given a pet to take care of/have a pet to take care of them. Even without special training, an animal giving unconditional love can really do wonders for depression.

I'm sorry you've had to deal with those frustrating situations. There are definitely plenty of people who abuse the system. I hope it doesn't negatively bias your opinions and beliefs about depression. I also hope you can get to a place where you can empathize with people's struggles instead of minimize them

>>18501819
well, who are ya?

Come on over here girl and we can snug the night away.

I really want snugs.

I'm so fucking lonely.

:(

>>18501802
>A few months ago the bigger picture of everything became clear to me.
What is it?

>>18501801
It's alright, though. I've come to find that women kinda suck as a whole.

>>18501739
Convert
If your wife doesnt like it leave her.

Youre not her bitch, a relationship is a relationship because it works for both, its clearly not working for you

>>18501835
The landlord had no right to take them, but they certainly did have the right to say "Yeah no cats, get rid of them by the next lease or leave"
If they knew their landlords werent chill, even if it was after the fact and not in the lease, they should have found a new place to live instead of being like "WELL FUCK YOU WE'RE GONNA BUY A PIECE OF PAPER ONLINE FOR 50 BUCKS TO LIE AND SAY WE'RE
DEPRESSED :(" THAT LEGALLY SAYS YOU CAN'T TELL US WHAT TO DO, SO NYEH"

>>18501840
I'm just some femanon suffering severe case of oneitis :<

>>18501838
Doesn't fucking matter if they give you comfort by existing. Thats still just a fucking family pet, not a trained respectable service dog and should not be legally treated as one.
You can have your "emotional support" animal, but you need to get one thats fucking trained from birth to do a job, not just the family dog that still shits on the floor and doesn't know simple commands.

>>18501848
> "Yeah no cats, get rid of them by the next lease or leave"
See, I agree with that too. They are totally ok to change the lease when the current one runs ok but until then the pets should be allowed to stay.

Sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do to protect yourself.

People need to be far more responsible though. They need to realize that if you're getting a pet it's going to limit the amount of eligible apartments. People that abuse the system are shitty. People that give their pet to a shelter just because the apartment they want doesn't allow pets are even more shitty.

People just need to stop being fucking shitty. I feel ya anon.

>>18501848
I'm autistic as fuck, have anxiety, depression and OCD. It pisses me off to no end that people abuse the service animal / emotional support animal thing these days. Yes, I have a cat, yes I went to a psychologist and my primary care provider and they were the ones who brought up that it would be more healthy to have a pet and yes, it helped with my disabilities. Because of other people abusing this aid to the disabled land lords have been assholes to me about having a service animal. I even clean the cat box daily, keep a clean apartment (OCD), and make sure my cats never do anything to the carpet. Because of trash that just abuses this aid to the disabled, I get to have more anxiety or depression right before I move to a new place.

>>18501853
I'm disappointed to hear you feel the only legitimate support can come from a specially trained animal. I understand you've encountered situations where it seemed like people registered an animal as a therapy animal just to be able to keep them in the house, but I personally don't believe that discredits the ability of other animals to serve as therapy animals to people who really do struggle despite not being specially trained. I'm sorry you've encountered people and situations that made you feel the way you do

>>18501842
Eh we're not all bad. It's just difficult encountering women that I have things in common with

>>18501861
They didnt need to do shit. If their landlords tried to physically take the cats they call the cops. Legally they're fine until the next lease. If their landlords didn't give a fuck about the law, they weren't gonna give a fuck about the law stating they were "depressed :(" either. They were protecting nobody doing that, and instead contributing to corruption.
Call the cops, cops will tell the landlords that they were stealing their property and need to return it, sue them in a civil suit for damages and make big money while also getting out of their lease for free to go to a cat friendly place.

>>18501864
No, I know for a FACT it was "just SAY this and legally they can't do anything. Even though you're not actually 'depressed :(', if you say you are they can't touch your 200lb dog"

A service dog is trained. Calling fido the shitter a service dog is a fucking insult to all ACTUAL service dogs who went through YEARS of training to do a SERVICE.

Dogs can certainly be tools to heal depression, I'm not arguing that, but not all fucking dogs can play that role. If your fucking piece of shit dog can't even respond to sit, stay, then it's not a fucking service dog. Its your family fucking pet that makes you feel good sometimes and does not deserve legal protection.

Its you fuckers that make it hard for the actual fucking people who need their dogs because they detect when they're gonna have a fucking seizure before it happens, or can tell them their blood sugars about to tank and they're gonna pass out, or to fucking SEE for them, to be taken seriously.

Your service dog needs to be trained to do a service. Plain and fucking simple, that's the goddamn definition of a SERVICE ANIMAL. You're just another whiney mother fucker who is "depressed :(" and has bad days and thinks that means they have a mental illness.
Fuck you I hope you fucking get run over by a truck so you need a REAL service dog.

>>18501902
I'm sorry I said something to trigger you and put you in fight or flight mode. I was just trying to offer a different perspective that perhaps all people who bring dogs that aren't specifically trained aren't just abusing the system.

Service dogs are important, I absolutely agree. Service dogs are great for all the reasons you listed. However, there are therapy dogs/animals as well as service dogs/animals. Those are not specifically trained to sniff out changes in hormones, but they do help people who have otherwise crippling anxiety and depression. And like you said, "not all fucking dogs can play that role". I absolutely agree! But I also think that more dogs can provide legitimate help to people, in the form of being a therapy dog, without being a service dog. At least where I come from, there's a distinction between the two, so there may be some misunderstanding here

>>18501920
If your dog isn't trained, you're abusing the system. Get that through your thick fucking skull. You are not special, you do not deserve anything. Your dog is a pet. Pets give benefits, but they are not legally protected benefits.
As I said, I feel most happy and comfortable living alone. I cannot ask for my landlord to give me the whole 3 bedroom house for the cost of one room just because it would make me feel nice.

Like boy, I sure would feel a WHOOOLLLE lot less depressed if I didn't have to work a shitty job to pay for college, I should just get my college degree for free. My school is DISCRIMINATING against my mental illness by charging me tuition. Don't they know I would be happier if I didn't have to pay? Don't they know how therapeutic it would be if I didn't have to stress about money?? Hell, why not give me A's in everything even if I don't show up or do the work! I would feel SUUUUPPPPER less stressed if they did that!

The government should just pay for me to play video games and shitpost online all day, then I'd feel really less depressed. Forcing me to get a job would just be discriminatory due to my "depression :("

>>18501940
I'm sorry you feel that way. I hope you grow and get to a place where you can empathize with people instead of dismissing their struggles and assuming everyone like that is just being whiny. I was trying to get you to see things through a perspective other than your own, but I now realize that doing so on a thread meant for people to release their raw pain may not have been the most productive place to try and help.

I wouldn't sex up an underage girl for a lot of reasons but god... people get so pissy about this shit. When I was 23 I was talking to a 17 year old girl online. Had no plans to meet up with her as she lived across the country. She was 2-3 months shy of 18.

Nothing happened of course but a few years later I was with a different girl that found out I was talking to that younger girl. She lost her fucking mind, called me disgusting, abusive, and other shit.

but here's the thing... when she was 22 she was fucking a 17 year old herself. She judged me so harshly for simply TALKING to a younger girl while she had a sexual history with a younger guy. I just don't understand what her deal was.

Even later, I was dating another girl that found out about that "one time I was talking to a younger girl." as well and she too lost her fucking mind. Called me disgusting, a pedophile, ect even though she use to date a guy that was 10 years older than she was.

I don't understand why people are so fucking hung up about that. I talked to a younger girl that lived 2000 miles away for a couple months. She's now old enough to have graduated from a four year college, start a career, get married, and to have children but I'm STILL being called a pedophile for it. Again, for talking to a girl that was a couple months shy of 18. For fuck's sake, she was the one that came onto me. The entire time I talked to her I was like "Hey, like... don't feel like you have to be pressured into anything. I like talking to you."

Everyone keeps making me feel like a worthless, creepy, predator for just wanting to be loved.

I fucking hate myself. I really don't want to deal with people ever again.

>>18501951
I can empathize with people who are rational and deal with their issues in a legal and ethical matter.
I was trying to make you realize this perspective, but given that you're so far up your own ass that you will never believe your family dog that tears up the sofa and bites children is not a service dog, you never will.

>>18501940
You're comparing apples to boats, anon. Two absolutely different things. Even people with "fake" service animals tend to live perfectly normal lives as opposed to yourself who seems to strive for mooching off social security because "baww life is soooo unfair." You sound like a fucking twat who takes the utmost displeasure in people getting their way when it doesn't inconvenience you in the slightest.

If I may suggest, try taking the long route off the short bluff during your commute tomorrow.

>>18501960
It feels like you have a very restricted and limited idea of what a dog that isn't a service dog is like, which is unfortunate. I'm sorry if your experiences have taught you that all dogs besides service dogs are horribly trained. I could see how that would make you feel very resentful of people (imagining a possible scenario here) bringing badly behaving dogs into a house that destroyed your furniture, leaving you to cover the damages. I hope you find an experience that opens up your perspective on what dogs can do for people with mental issues without being officially trained service dogs

>>18501964
Pfft, right the people with self diagnosed depression and anxiety totally life fulfilling lives.

Also way to miss the whole fucking point of the post.

>>18501850
Have you ever met them in person?

Can I be your oneitis?

Do you make music?

Are you skinny?

Did you fall for a computer boy?

>>18501959
you aren't alone, anon. i've experienced the same thing. just shrug it off honestly, who cares? you aren't hurting anyone here.

>>18501978
SERVICE dog. A dog that preforms a SERVICE. Your dog existing is not a service.

I hope you fucking find an experience where you get your fucking dog TRAINED if you expect it to do a fucking JOB. You can have your pets, but they do NOT deserve legal protection.

/YOU/ need to fucking take the goddamn initiative to find a place that allows pets, and when you're told no not cry "B-B-BUT MUH DISABILITTTEEEEEEEEEEEE"
YOU fucking put in the goddamn work to have a pet, otherwise you're a fucking abusive pet owner and I fucking pray to god animal control comes in and saves every single fucking one of those animals you're abusing from your shitty fucking hands.

>>18501980
How do you know it's self diagnosed? Other people have problems too. It must suck to be so bitter and self centered. Them having a dog or a cat or a fucking iguana brings no harm to you, so suck it up buttercup.

>>18501959
Degenerate.

>>18501984
Pathetic.

>>18501988
"Man I want my dog to live with me in the dorms, what do?"
"Are you depressed?"
"No I am not"
"That's fine, just say you're feeling down to your doctor and play up how great your dog makes you feel, then your doctor will write a legally abiding note saying they can't discriminate against you in housing. I did the same thing despite having nothing wrong with me and it worked like a charm. Now they can't kick me or my dog out without getting sued"

But no, they're totally not self diagnosed.

>No harm to me
Except when their pet shits on my bed, destroys my property, bites me, sheds hair all over my shit, and forces me to live in an already cramped environment with it's big ole self too.
Nope, no harm done to me at all.

>>18501987
Holy shit you are really losing your mind over this. I can't wait for the news article tomorrow:
>"Man has aneurysm after arguing with people on a Turkish Crocheting Community about dogs"

>>18501994
Oh, so you are psychic? Holy shit you should write a book on how to know people's experiences without ever being there.

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>>18500788

>(to my Redlands buddy. Sorry for the delay. Spent all day resting. Called the boss and gonna go on Workers comp. I hate this. I hate not making money and being lazy.)


Well Whitney is already at high Elevation. Plus we stayed the night up there and at the time it was already 5 feet of snow. Which hiking through snow sucks. Plus I was carrying 45 pounds worth of survival gear (cold temp sleeping bag, sleeping pad to keep heat, tent, thermals, MREs, Pot to boil water/snow, fuel, knife, ice axe, crampons, flash light, head lamp and etc. Just basic stuff to keep me comfortable.) Plus I'm technically a bigger dude. Like muscle fat. So it just strenuous.

Nice! I went to Big Bear lake for 4th of July. This year was kind of weak, but last year was awesome.

Holy shit that's beautiful.

Ya you got discord?

(Here's a picture of a frozen lake at Whitney)

>>18501987
I feel like your frustration is related to a very specific experience, and it seems like it's making you generalize and project a bit. I hope that, after your initial rage wears off, you can consider the possibility that there are reasonable dog owners who have their dogs with them for a legitimate reason. Yes, service dogs are trained specifically to do a service that caters to a physical impairment. Then, there are therapy dogs

Everything was great. I was gonna come back from deployment and plan my life around yours. I was gonna support your change in majors and be there for you when my enlistment was up. I was gonna be happy making you happy.
And then it all came down to an email. One lousy email.
That was almost three years ago. My life has been empty ever since. Devoid of feeling.
I've never felt so alone.

I don't even know how or care to approach women anymore. It feels like a waste of time, as if it's all just gonna happen again.

I hope I die in a car crash. At least I won't be able to burden anyone else with my misery.

>>18501984
>Have you ever met them in person?
No

>Can I be your oneitis?
no - I'm too smitten with him to have another oneitis

>Do you make music?
no - I only listen to music and sing karaoke when I'm plastered

>Are you skinny?
no

>Did you fall for a computer boy?
no - I fell for an enigmatic science boy

Maybe I should start saving money and Stacy-ing and just fly to his country and drunkenly serenade him my feeling... fuck, I can't think clearly when this boy is on my mind.

>>18501997
A legit conversation that happened. Whatever faggot, go suck on your binky and cry about your depression some more.
We literally ALL have depression. I'd dare you to find 10 fucking 20 somethings that DON'T claim to have depression.

>>18501996
If I had to deal with a situation I wasn't happy with for a while, I'd probably be very reactive too. He came here to vent, and this is his raw pain and feelings.

>>18501987
I feel like I tried to help you at the wrong time. It seems like you need to do some more venting, and I'm sorry for trying to play the devil's advocate, especially if you were wanting someone to come along and say that your frustrations are real and valid rather than get a lecture. I apologize

>>18502013
If by legit you mean incredibly exaggerated, then yes I guess it was legit. Are you upset because the dog eats better food than you do?

Feeling all alone far away from home. It's been a while since I've felt this small.

Yeah not responding to obvious trolls anymore, either get good enough to deserve my (You)'s or starve.

>>18502001
No, its really not. Its a frustration I see over and over of people trying to scam the system. Its the fucking abuse I see of these HUGE ass animals being forced to live in tiny places. I'm a huge fucking animal lover, I want the best for all animals. And I see it way too fucking much on my campus, Giant ass dogs, obscene amounts of small animals, all being toted around as "therapy pets" and then these fuckers bragging online to others on how they too can abuse the system just to get a pet.


Therapy dogs aren't a real thing then. If I can just point at a dog and say "YOU ARE A THERAPY DOG, YOU ARE A THERAPY DOG, EVERY DOG IS A THERAPPPYYY DOOOOGG!" then its meaningless and therefore needs no legal protection.
Thats the other thing, laws need to be defined. If your qualifications of "therapy dog" is as fucking vague as "makes me feel all warm and fuzzy", then there is no legal distinction, and therefore, does not deserve legal protection.

Service dogs are strictly defined. They go through a specific training regimen, preform specific actions, and can be tested and certified. That deserves legal protection, because it can actually be fucking defined.

>>18502016
I just want the world to fucking know the goddamn abuse these animals are getting and I really want to know if there is any sort of petition or protest I can get behind to ban "therapy pets" as a legally protected thing, and demand that if they are a "medical necessity" they need to be properly trained and certified.
I want to fucking fight this injustice. Go point me in that direction oh wise one. Help me legally fight this crap.

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Somehow, I was able to stumble upon and luck into full funding (Tuition + Stipend) for the first year of my Master's degree. I feel like I must've been at the bottom of their list and only got it because they were able to fund everyone they admitted.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wsUNMSiIII

>>18502030
I agree, not all animals are therapy animals. What have you experienced that makes you feel all of these animals are being abused?

>>18502034
200lb dog does not deserve to live in a tiny ass dorm room with 2 human beings. It deserves a house and a yard to run in.
The fuckers with the "emotional support mice" I can almost get behind, if it werent for the fact again, they're abusing a fragile system, but the assholes bringing their huge dogs into essentially an oversized bathroom with a bunk bed crammed in it, fuck them.

That's abuse, animals need space.

When I get denied any words and I get cold shouldered, I get pissed.
Words cannot describe the level of wrath I have when I'm fucking denied the right to speak by some faggot/faggottress. I know I should handle shit like this with more class, but excuse me when I act out when I can't talk about anything. If given the chance, I would hit someone who did this to me. Not just a love tap, either, I mean a full-fucking-force fist to the gut getting drilled in there.

How people handle this is beyond me, but I know at least several anons must've encountered such pain, and they must have some form of advice about this at least. Hell, even giving a direct fucking order about how a fucking car might run them over if they don't move fast enough is ignored, and I yell loudly.

I'm going insane and I just might consider pulling a fucking Isla Vista, but without a manifesto. This day fucking sucked.

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I'm legitimately getting tired of people. No interaction brings me any lasting joy. I can't trust anyone. Everything is a waiting game of seeing how long until things go to shit.


I'm getting tired anons. If there was a decent job that put me in the middle of nowhere, payed well, and didn't require human contact I'd probably take it.

Planning on traveling but I'm not even sure that'll help. Maybe going to the Amazon and binging Ayahuasca will help; that's not even a sure bet.


I'm not even angry at it. I don't know how to feel about it.

>>18502051
Nice blog

>>18502041
Some dogs do need space, but others are fine with being apartment/city dogs. Even certain breeds, or individuals, of dogs don't need much exercise or space--Great Danes come to mind, though they may not be quite 200 lbs. For the dogs that are that large, maybe their owners take them for walks. Maybe there's things those owners do that you aren't aware of to keep the dog exercised and happy despite the cramped quarters.

Also, I did some research, and I was using incorrect terminology. It's not "therapy dog", it's "emotional support dog". Very different things because therapy dogs do have to meet a list of requirements in order to be officially certified!

>>18502053
Whoops thought I was iin a different thread. Sorry anon

my bf is an inconsiderate passionless douchebag

>>18502061
Why are you with him?

>>18502055
I don't give a fuck, dogs deserve space. Plain and simple. I think its downright abusive to cram a dog into a small space and expect it to be happy, no matter how much you walk it.
I think it's abusive to crate dogs for long periods of time too, just because you don't want your furniture getting ruined while you're out at work for 9 hours.

I cannot believe there will ever be a truely happy big dog that doesn't have space to run and stretch out even if you walk it 30 times a day.

>>18501267
How?!?

>>18502055
>>18502068
If you are going to have a large dog, I think you need to have a fucking house with a fenced in yard. Anything less, and you are NOT a responsible pet owner and cared more about your fee fees than the happiness and wellbeing of the animal you bought, and do not deserve a pet.

I think to have a small dog or a cat, you must have at least a small house. 1 bedroom apartments do not cut it for these animals.

If you have a rodent or other pet that is mainly living in a cage or tank, then you can have those in a decent sized apartment.

There is nothing other than a fish that a dorm room can accommodate. They're made to cram you in like sardines to give the school the cheapest housing possible. You want a pet? Move out of the dorms. Not allowed to? Tough fucking titties, you can't have a pet.

>>18502068
>I don't give a fuck
>I cannot believe
I do think it is possible, and I think you should put more trust in others to care for their dogs and keep them happy, but I understand that, given your experiences, that may be a difficult think to consider. I guess all you can really do is just notify any future roommates that you are not comfortable with them bringing animals. Maybe you could say you have allergies?

/pol/ probably doesn't lurk here, but just in case they do, I want them to know one of the biggest problems with the black community is two things

1) Black parenting is almost exclusively through a maternal figure

2) Black mothers, aunts or grandmothers lash out their own baggage of the world on their kids. This causes their parenting methods to be short of nurturing and almost exclusive authoritative until it gets results in some measure. Then they'll be proud of those results in that one moment but will never know why it falters. Why? Well, because black mothers or maternal parental guardians don't always understand how to deal with children. They might know how to deal with well behaved children but they don't know how to make a child behave. Part of parenting as I've observed is the ability to let a child express their feelings and wear them out. Black mothers want to control what they can't control. If a child is crying, they don't give a shit about trying to de-escalate the child's distress. They threaten. They threaten with the consequence of beating if they don't stop crying and that just makes shit worse. So you'll likely end up making a child who doesn't have much regard for authority and likely fosters a value for abusive relationships.

I don't know how much of the character limit I'm pushing and I know not all black women are like this, but I have to make it clear that it's so ingrained in our culture, it's likely the culprit for the kind of behavior in delinquet black youth and sadly young adults.

I'm not sick of my people, I'm just sick of our system of what we think works. Addressing this makes me look like a race traitor but I will not pretend this isn't a problem. Fuck this shit, man.

Do you care

can't wait to move out so i don't have to deal with your lazy ass anymore

>>18502084
Well I don't. I get the definition of abuse is subjective in this sense, but I refuse to believe if you actually loved your pet, and weren't just using it for your own selfish gain, you would want more for it. You would want to live in a better place for it than the dorms. You would want to give it everything it gives you and more.
Not just say "Well Rover, fuck you hope you enjoy living in this 2x2 square for the next 4 years of your life, you make me too happy for me to give a shit about your own happiness."

There's nothing I want more than a pet right now, and hell, I'm a miserable fuck with diagnosed depression (just like literally every other millennial, its not even a disease anymore it's just the norm) and I know having a pet would make me feel a little better, I know for a fact just by how my friends pets make me feel second hand.
But guess what? I do not have the space to house a pet. I do not have stable living conditions to support a pet. I do not have the money to provide for a pet. And I do not have the time to take care of a pet.
I'm responsible and mature enough to know ALL of that, and I'm not completely fucking selfish enough to say "Well, because it would make ME feel better I'm gonna put an animal through hell and uncertainty just because I only care about myself."

Instead I'm going to be a responsible adult, and not a whiny fucking entitled bratty CHILD, and wait until I'm in a better position to get a pet. Because that's the fair and right thing to do for my PET, that I supposedly will love and cherish.

>Say you don't wanna live with a pet
Except I legally can't. Because they're all "MUH SUPPORT ANIMAL ILL SUE YOU INTO THIRD WORLD POVERTY IF YOU SAY NO"

You think I didn't put "LANDLORD DOES NOT ALLOW PETS" on my flyers? Because thats the first fucking thing every single bratty millennial asks when looking for a place to live.

>>18502076
I don't eat. When I do, I just puke it back up.
Been at this for 8 years and "recovered" 3 times.

>>18502086
What you described is just shitty parenting, and it's not exclusive to any race or either gender. I'm white and grew up with abusive parents, I was friends with kids of other races who also had shit parents.

>>18502101
ABOUT
WHAT

>>18502101
Do you?

>>18502112
Well, you ain't wrong but it is a bigger problem for blacks than it is for whites. More than 70% of blacks grow up without a father.

That is... so so bad.

I spent 8 hours the other day with this qt I'm pining for, and I still cant shake the feeling she hates me/dislikes me/whatever. We planned for just lunch, but she was cool with going ~30 miles away from home with me to the ocean to hang out. We sat and talked on the beach for around 3 hours and basically watched the sun set. She could have had any opportunity to tell me to take her back, and only did so hours into the day. Even though all of this is probably good signals on her end, I still cant shake the feeling that she hates me, because I feel that everyone hates me. Like this is easily the most progress I've ever had in something like this, the entire day wasnt awkward and we clicked pretty well but fuck I am the epitome of no self-esteem and I really dont want to fuck this up because she is as close to the ideal that I have ever met. I just think my low self-esteem is going to cause me to self-sabotage this, because I am extremely terrified of the prospect of success since I've never felt it before.

How come /adv/ looks like just an anonymous site just to ask for relationship advice?

Did they try to prevent me from getting the work done by forging my signature? Or tricking me into signing the wrong form? I did not sign away my rights or gave anyone else ability to make decisions on my behalf. I do not want to be here. I am miserable as fuck here.

I am competent and in good mind to make decisions. I want to leave. I want my rebirth. ASAP.

I swear to god I am so done with this place. I would leave tonight if given the chance. I wouldn't think twice. I wouldn't look back.

END.

THIS.

>>18502206
Pretty much every human being searches for connection. We're social creatures and don't do well alone. Having a romantic relationship is possibly the strongest type of connection, and the one society loves to focus on, so you've got a lot of people trying to connect with someone romantically

I completely humiliated myself by showing how bitter I am about my break up. What's worse is people believe her slandering about me. And my bitterness only made it worse.

I have awful fragment of memories of me being molested as a child. I never told that to anyone and probably won't ever, appart on an anonymous board...
I try to not think about it too much, I'm kind of a joyful and sociable person most of the time. But sometimes, I just think about it briefly and it cripples my mood making me apathetic and depressed.

Tonight is one of these times.

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>>18502061
... L?

Please come visit me. I'm so fucking lonely. We can snug and play video games and eat ice cream.

you know where I liveeee so come on over. Open invintation.

please...

>>18500757
Update: started thinking about her and all the memories we had and I wanna die.

Give me a sign please, God

>>18501410
except you're wrong and there's a few of us here that converse with specific people through these threads. just cause you don't pick up on it, doesn't mean it isn't happening.

>>18502011
>tfw trying to save money and chad-ing but I found out there's a guy that the girl I spoke with is likely seeing and there's so much distance communication wise now that it just.... idk man.
I know your feels, just without going to see her and hang out with her being a relatively attainable goal atm.

>>18502206
it's really quite a lot more but that's the surface level, sure.

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The more I think about it, the more pragmatic it seems for us to split up. It's nothing you've done and it's not your fault, but there's just so much in the way. The time zone difference, the age gap (I know it's only 3-4 years, but it matters. It just does. We're at completely different points in life, despite the fact that one of us might be more mature physically and somewhat mentally), your parents versus mine, the directions our lives are headed. A lot of stuff that makes me doubt that we're sustainable in the long run without more work than either of us may ever be capable of. Are you willing to move to Canada to be with me? Will you be okay with me basically being a perpetual child? I want this to work, but I don't think it can. I still want to meet with you, but maybe we're not meant for the long-term. I don't know.
I guess I'm just losing faith. I'm sorry. Even though we may love each other, this might not work. I don't want to waste your time and emotions on something fruitless, and I bet it's the same for you. I'd send you this, but I'm not even completely sure of it myself, and I don't want to make you panic or worry.

>>18502548
>there's a few of us here that converse with specific people through these threads
also, specifically to some specific people:

been listening to your music a little lately. apologies for being so insultingly ignorant before lol, you seemed so taken aback and mad. I like it. also you're adorable when you try to use chopsticks. would hang out with even though I would likely really not fit in. though maybe I would more than I think, you seem really down to earth and you hang out here so I mean. we're sorta similar, though all the people that know me don't know me they know what I've done and my presence. idk. we'll likely never meet, but you're cool.

to someone specifically different than the specific person mentioned specifically in the specific message above:

I'm not mad or anything with you really, though it still hurts and all the feels are still like right under the surface so idk what to do even more now. there's no way to effectively talk about it all so it's just kind of like, a thing, idk. also yes I still dislike him immensely and would request he stay on a real short leash in my woods. I won't be held liable for the work of other wolves. I stopped antagonizing, others may not.

I got a bj from my and my girlfriends best friend and i always think back how open her mouth was and how inviting it felt. Current gf doesnt have that feel and it left me conflicted if i should be a loner or go with my best friend. Shes a christian type so god is first then me so idk. She has an open mind about many things and i know i could talk to her for hours (best friend) . then theres my gf where i walk on egg shells because her depression and anxiety but shes also more warm and loving but at that same time it limits me what i can and cant say else she'll spiral into a kinda depression.

>>18502560
You sound like a NEET anon. Put in the effort and make it work, do something hard in your life.

I'm 18 and posting here
That's it
fuck

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>>18502600
You're right.
I talked to him about it, and he basically said to embrace that it will be difficult, but try to be happy and not worry about it until the problems I'm scared of actually happen.
I'll deal with things as they come, and do my best. Most things worth doing are hard.

i want to vent but too scared someone here will know who i am

>>18502663
+1

>>18502663
So many problems are identical to hundreds of other people, so might as well post.

>>18502663
>>18502664
+1

>>18502668
>>18502668
its quite specific though any NZfags here?

When I'm stoned I like to go into threads on different boards and find two people debating. I'll respond to one of them with something ridiculously hostile. Then I just laugh my ass off as I watch their conversation get completely derailed.

>live with someone I now absolutely despise
>nowhere else to go
>don't have the means/resources to move out on my own
>don't want to kms

Fuck everything.

Also,
>still can't post on /adv/ from my pc

You fucking people need to come clean already.

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You are at a social event, something arranged by the college. There's a few acquaintances you know there, but they seem more interested in other things and walked off with their friends so you just sit in a corner as if to get away from your awkwardness as much as physically possible. A friend of an acquaintance comes over and talks to you, a well-meaning cute girl. You happily chat with her for a couple minutes, but she seems like she is forcing yourself since you are just sitting by yourself in a corner somewhere. She eventually gets up and goes back to her friends, suddenly beaming and much more comfortable than she was with you. You can't help but feel ostracized even more. That trapped in your own awkwardness feeling gets to be too much, so you walk outside into the cool night air. A lot less people outside, you can almost feel loneliness as if it were a tangible substance riding on the cool breeze. Its almost comforting, as if it were just right. You are used to this loneliness and melancholy. It almost feels homely, so its hard to feel frustration with yourself.
You go ahead and walk on home, sit on the counter and eat leftovers from the fridge alone, wallowing in your own ostracism with a sad smile on your face.

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So early I heard my first guitar
And I knew I wanted to be a big star
And I told my poor worried father
Said I ain't gonna go to school no more
'Cause see I want to look cool and I want to look good
With my hair slicked back and my black leather boots
want to stand up tall with my boobs upright
And feel real hot when the makeup's nice
I get sexy underneath the lights
Like I want to fuck every man in sight
Baby come home with me tonight
Make you feel good make you feel all right

I'm going away to London
I got myself a big fat plan
Gonna be a singer in a rock 'n' roll band
And I'm gonna change everything I can

Sorry to be disappointing
Wasn't born for no marrying
want to make my own living singing
Strong independent Pagan woman singing

And I feel real cool and I feel real good
Got my hair shaved off and my black thigh boots
I stand up tall with my pride upright
And I feel real hot when the makeup's nice
I get sexy underneath them lights
Like I want to fuck every man in sight
Baby come home with me tonight
Make you feel good make you feel all right

>>18500052

I probably should not endure all this abuse anymore. I'm probably not an useless sack of shit and a general waste of blood and organs.
Probably.

Is it too late to start an art related hobby in your mid 20s and get good at it?

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>>18502939

So basically when I was 6 my so called useless "father" abandoned me. When I was 7 my mother went abroad to work, I would not see her for the next 9 years.
I was left in the care of my grandmother which mentally and physically abused me. I was constantly beaten and humiliated. I was seen as less than an animal.
By the time I was 19, I had my first heart attack due to all the stress and the problems.
Then I moved out at 20 to college and I tried my luck at love. I was repeteadly cheated on. My so called family still called me every once in a while to tell me just how much of a trashbag I am.
Then I tried my luck at bussines. The first 3 bussines failed. Now I'm running my 4th and 5th bussines and they seem to be working for now.
However, I am still in an abusive relationship ( my gf punched me today ) and my so called "family" still stalks me on phone/facebook to tell me how much of a crap person I am.
Nowadays though, my life is pretty decent, despite all these struggles, despite the fact that my only family left is my mom. I have cut the ties with everybody else.
People ask me why I always work during holidays or Xmas and I always come up with some bad excuse. The truth is, i'm always eating alone on Xmas.

Sometimes, I really ask myself if there is a place for me in this world...Sometimes, I really question my worth - if i am worth anything..

Despite all my high ranks and my social status I will always see myself as a sub-human, below each and every human.

>>18500226
I never even hugged a girl

Booked my flight to leave this place and go back
I will never understand why you destroyed this, I wanted nothing but pure love and to build a life with you. I can't forgive you for stalking your ex this entire time and making me feel like an asshole for asking when we're getting married considering it was the reason I even came here and YOU wanted it.
Now I see why you kept delaying it even though I came here TWICE because you begged me to
You need time to sort out your life and get over or get back with your ex, you turned out to be the unfaithful liar you said your ex is
And while your past chats looking for me to talk to on CL are the past, I can't help but see how you always go on and on about why men need attention aside from their partners and how they're too obsessed with sex. I read those emails, fuck they hurt
I keep asking myself what did I do to deserve it, all I wanted was a family and someone who genuinely only loved me. You ended up being the liar when you were worried about me instead
I almost considered staying and going through with the marriage just so I don't have to go back to my family who have been betting that I'd be back because it's hard to make it in a foreign land. I could've made i easily, jobs a plenty but what's the point when it means I'd end up married to someone like that and bringing a kid into the world with someone like that
I'm loathing having to see them all again looking at me like a failure but it's better than being married to someone who can't love me as their one and only
I wish you find happiness and whatever it is you're looking for because despite these discoveries, you did things for me most people would never do for another. I really wish you weren't so damaged or whatever it is. I really hope you find happiness and hopefully I'll find some as well

Just lost my job. Been working for the company for two years. Taught me everything I know.

Been homeless for five months, was abused most of my life both physically and mentally by my alcoholic father.

I did everything I could. I never did drugs. I just couldn't handle the stress of living in my car and being treated like an asshole at work. Whenever I would ask a question to learn something I'd be talked down to like I wasn't capable of doing a good job the right way. Finally snapped and verbally assaulted both of my managers and told everyone to fuck off. They know of my situation but said they had to let me go anyways.

I don't know what to do now. A part of me thinks I should just take a day or two to myself to figure things out. Maybe go back and beg for my job back. Another part of me thinks that I should just commit suicide today. I keep everything I still own at my storage unit. There's a nice suspension beam in it where I could hang myself in peace and go quietly.

I always wanted to travel the world and play music. Not even for fame or financial gain. Just do what I love and show people what I could create. Experience different cultures and make friends everywhere I go to one day look back and say that I didn't regret a single thing.

I'm a fuck up. I wish I weren't.

>>18503013
Look for another job, hang in there and keep your chin up. I don't think it's worth ending your life
If a loser like me >>18502987 can find a reason to keep going so can you

>>18502981
Leave your girlfriend and get therapy. You have to be good to yourself. By thinking poorly of yourself what you are doing is basically taking over for the people who abused you. Treat yourself well, love yourself, pamper yourself. I come from a similar situation. I had to have therapy to make these realizations. You've survived something horrible but you're still here so you are so strong. You have to look for the silver linings everywhere and let small throngs make you happy but most of all be good to yourself. The only way I could do it at first is to think of myself as a child, inner child... would you tell that child that he or she is worthless? Do things for that child and think good thoughts for that child.

>>18502101
That depends.
Don't be a cunt and maybe.

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literally everyone I see every day, except maybe that homeless guy I hang out with sometimes, is more succesful than me. How do I stop comparing myself to people? How do I stop caring about how I'm the one that's doing worse in life than everyone else around?

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>>18503037

Thanks for your reply senpai. I've been to a psychologist and got diagnosed with Emotional Deprivation Disorder and some psychopath tendencies.
The psychologist and 2 other psychologists have refused to treat me, as the therapy is too dangerous.

So I stopped giving a shit about therapy and psycologists.

>>18503055
Then you have to give yourself therapy, sounds weird but I've done it since I was a little kid, maybe you already kind of so it. Basically it involves a lot of introspection and self talk. Did they tell you that you're not ready to delve into your past issues? That's what they told me at first. They just said to deal with the day to day issues that were pressing, for example leaving your abusive gf. If you drink, quit.

AHHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGGHHHHHHHHGHGGGGGGHGJGG

>>18503055
Is it reactive attachment disorder?

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>>18503082

Can't be done. Basically the therapist must give/show me the love and affection that i never received as a child. From an emotional standpoint, I'm still a 5 year old because I never got anything so I'm basically just figuring stuff myself.
The danger here is that the patient can get attached to the psychologist ( very high chance ), and apparently they don't want to take such a risk.
They offered to put me on a handicap and get me someone to take care of me, but i'm no cripple.
I'm tough as shit, life hardened me so bad you can't cut me up with a chainsaw. A bunch of feelings are not enough to stop me.

>be fatty
>have pain
>go to doc
>he tells me i'm fatty, lose weird
>i lose weight
>still have pain
>go to doc
>x-rays
>scolliosis
(from being fat I'd imagine)
>tells me to try some stretching, and potentially see a chiropractor, but ultimately i'm fucked
>was taking pain killers
>stopped taking them
>just endure the constant pain and back stiffness

kill me

>>18503105
:( my husband is the one doing that for me

>>18503105
I just want you to know that I relate and care.

Fuck you Sam you fucked me up

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>>18503096

Seems to be related. Not sure if the exact disorder though.
http://psychology.wikia.com/wiki/Emotional_Deprivation_Disorder

>>18503120
Great for you lady ! I bet it's sweet to have love and affection at your discretion.

>>18503126
Thanks, but the only person in this world that cares and believes in me is me mum.
I don't trust anyone else.

>>18503157
I understand that you don't trust anyone sorry, I just wanted to reach out and now of course now I, as someone with trust issues feel like shit for trying.

I need a girlfriend.
Someone who lets me crash at their place for a while when I get pissed at my relatives. Even failing that, just booking a hotel outside the city has been one of the things I've considered as reprieve.

Limiting contact with you is the best thing I've ever done.
I feel so fucking liberated now, I don't care if the break up was my fault or not anymore, that relationship was caustic as fuck and was destroying me.

I'm finally ready to move on.

Fuck me. I just found out my ex is talking to another guy already. It hurts so much. I want to be happy for her. I want to. A part of me is. But a part of me misses her. Misses her so much. The part of that cant bear to stand her in the arms of someone else. Fuck me.

>>18503173
Why does it have to be a gf and not a friend that lets you stay at their place? I don't have a gf but I want to imagine that if I ever need to leave my house and stay at their place they would let me (never had to yet but I might).
Anyway good luck

>>18503175
Let me guess anon, you made your relationship toxic in the first place and then you cut contact to make your conscience feel better instead of owning up to your mistakes.

>>18503187
Nah, gf was emotionally manipulative, decided she didn't want to close the distance (ldr) and decided she was a lesbian but tried to lead me on that a relationship was still viable.

>>18503196
Fair enough then anon, sorry for judging. It read like one of those situations were someone fucks someone over then leaves the other hanging for selfish reasons.

>>18503183
>Why does it have to be a gf and not a friend that lets you stay at their place? I

Because I've been that friend whose house was a sanctuary and it's painfully obvious why as their homes can't serve that purpose, lacking the boundaries like mine does. I don't mind that aspect of my life and I like my friends but shit's mostly watching movies, playing vidya or being speculatively perverse.

I have carnal if not primal needs though, if not the benefit of being silly and living with non-parental relatives who don't understand accountability can cause some stir crazy to set in.

my girlfriend is incredibly disloyal and i am a shut in so i put up with it
it's emasculating to be the level of cucked that i am
i'm pretty sure she's got things with 2 other dudes right now?
she's not even that secretive about it

she says we should be poly knowing full well that i could not feasibly get any other girls in my situation

>>18503199
It's cool. For the past couple months I was beating myself up over it, thinking it was my fault, but a lot of the things that eroded the relationship were things she wanted for herself. She was using the relationship to discover herself, and I ended up on the shit end of that deal.

>>18503207
Anon. I know how you feel very much. You aren't going to get anywhere. You have to stand by your boundaries and if she doesn't want the same things you want then you have to make the hard decision and break up with her.

I had a gf like this for these past 8 months. She wasn't active with the idea but I know what she wanted. You can't be like me and just agree with what she wants. I lost myself and my morals and what I wanted because I wanted to be with her. She wanted to be just "friends" and it was like she was using me. But I didn't complain because I still got to be with her. She ended up dropping my ass.

You can't be like me. You have to draw the line and don't give an inch.

>>18503229
i keep thinking i'll get better and then make her feel bad about not being good enough for me as payback

i went to college courses for a stint and had em lining up

it's probably unhealthy to continue like this

but it's probably equally or more unhealthy to drop any semblance of human interaction that i do have

i can only think my motivation to get better would fall further if i did that

>>18500052
I thought I was making some real progress getting over her. I was happy and I always thought that I'm Better off without her, I thought good riddance. But tonight was the worse. I found out that she's ""talking"" to someone I know.

I want to see her I want to talk to her so bad. I miss her I can't fucking stand it anymore I hate myself and I wish I could redo this entire thing.

>>18503255
Accept what it is, forget what it was.

>>18503040
I can do that

Shrimpdick get the fuck out of my waters

>>18503253
Just do what you feel is right man. I cant tell ya what to do but I feel like you should drop her. It's obvious she doesn't care about how you feel. And dragging it out will probably only make it worse in the end.

>>18500317
So. Do. It.

fucking orbiter.

>>18501017
You'll never be more than a child, Christopher.

I don't care about you at all, and if you ever thought I did, you are delusional. You were the embodiment of a thirsty homewrecker.

So do yourself a favor, and forget me. It'll make it easier for you to kill yourself when you stop being an ugly thirty-something beta orbiter.

>>18500178
I used to be the same.

I got tired of it and made myself impossible to ignore. I forced myself to put myself out there, and be outgoing. Sometimes you have to exaggerate some of your features of the way you act. You'll think it's over the top and unnatural, but people will appreciate you for being you (unless you really are weird with it).

I was a weird, awkward home schooled kid. Now I have a beard that hangs to my chest, I'm tattooed, I'm loud, and I interject myself into shit. Think of it kind of like "branding" yourself, in the same way that a company pushes an image.

>>18501105
She never had interest in the first place you silly faggot.

I'm sick of the bullshit. Every day I'm out here in these stores cleaning up ridiculous messes after grown men like they're fucking toddlers. Why can't they manage to put cans on a fucking shelf properly? Hell, one of them can't even fucking take a shower every day and we're getting complaints from stores about how he stinks and they don't want him in their store. Now guess who has to pick up extra slack! I don't love my job. I do it because it's so simple and it should be getting done without conflict, but these assholes are either too lazy or too motherfucking stupid to put sody-pop in the coolers and on the shelf. I'm not picking up their slack anymore. I can whine and bitch until my face turns blue and my balls fall off. I've been doing it for 2 yeara. It doesn't help. It never gets better. They just hire some other fucking zero with no skills and no sense of pride in his legacy and I get to go in behind them and actually make this company successful... And you wonder why I'm late for work? When I have the normal number of stops I'm able to get done hours befote everyone else with a higher success rate and I STILL GET PAID THE FUCKING SAME. Even when I have to go in behind them and fix their bullshit. Now I have an anal-rectal fistula, 80,000 extra miles on my 4 year old car, and nothing to show for it. All that ever gets focused on are the things I don't do, and I suppose it's because I'm the only fucker out here that gives a shit. Well no more. I'll do what I need to do for MY stores to be successful, and next time you send me into a store right after one of these jackoffs leaves it fucked up, I'm leaving the mess. I'll fill the shelves but I'm not putting their mess away. I can't do everything. Fuck this.

>>18503409
>>18503453
>>18503445
Wow who let the cunts in?

So you've moved on. Good for you. I can't say I'm happy with how things ended but I can say that it's exactly how I expected. I just hope our paths don't cross in my town.

>>18503445
Not him but does your name start with an M and end with an A? Last name B?

I'm not being treated fairly at work. It could be because I'm the youngest here.
I'm trying to swallow my pride and put up with it but it hurts. Why can't this new manager deal with me? What am I doing that's so horrible?

I am doing the best I can and I've even seen a psychiatrist and I've been put on medication to deal with everything I've gone through; also so I don't argue with her or get angry anymore. Now I am better with reacting. I'm much calmer. Much happier. I'm doing my best to be responsible.
Unfortunately she's already decided she hates me and no matter how pleasant I am I'll always be her least favorite.

>>18503522
You don't own the town. They can live where ever they want.

>>18503582
Sounds like you already shit the bed. You can clean it to the point where it's all gone, fabreeze away the smell, but there will always be a brown stain on that white mattress. This is inevitably how relationships always go. You'll fuck up at some point. You have to find a way to convince her that you're trying as hard as you can and keep it dialed up to 100% consistently for a long time. If you have any peers that you know are one of her favorite you should talk to them. "Man, I've had a rough go, really fucked up a few times, and I really just need some advice". Having someone else around you on your side will make a huge difference. Good luck.

>>18503522
How do you know they've actually moved on? Are you just assuming things again?

P.S. If you think a city of millions of people is "yours," it's just more evidence of the delusional thinking that poisoned the well in the first place.

>>18503804
Wut?

>>18503828
Not my person, then. It was worth a shot.

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I just miss being touched.

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>>18504020
I have a 2nd pillow that I use specifically to cuddle.

>>18503540
Nope