Developing Feelings for My Straight Roommate

Do you have any other relationships or love interests?

You could tell him you like him.
I developed a crush on a guy I've been friends with for years but I suspect he might be bi.
There's also >>>/lgbt/ and they have gay threads. It's a lot better than this board if you avoid all the trans bullshit.

>>18492344
Unrequited love is simply the worst. If you guys really are best of friends then maybe you should explain your feelings and acknowledge that nothing will ever happen. As a straight man myself i would definetly be uncomfortable at first. However a bi friend of mine actually told me something similar and after a while i came to respect his honesty. Our friendship was never the same but its better then trying to keep that shit bottled up.

>>18492344

all you can do is do your best to remember that friends tend to last longer than relationships. You'll have a fire in your heart, all you can do is pray it doesn't burn you.

>>18492344

samesies.

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>>18492385
Nope. The thing about LGBT life is that hookup culture is a large aspect of it all. Romance and monogamy are kind of rare from my experience as I think there really isn't much of an expectation for it. If we can't have a family of our own naturally, can't be married and are seen as degenerates by a large portion of the country, why bother you know?

>>18492386
Fuck man, I'm not sure if I have the strength to do this for years. I'm 99% sure my friend is completely straight. And yeah I might repost this on lgbt but almost all of the threads are about trans topics and I don't really feel like I belong there anymore desu.

>>18492388
It just fucking sucks you know? To fall for someone who could never feel the same. Especially if it's the first time. It's driving me crazy. My grades have fallen, I've become an emotional rollercoaster of a person and I just can't think straight (ba dum tisss). I love being able to openly talk to him about anything. And not having that would fucking destroy me.

>>18492407
Anon, it's already burning. It's less of a burning sensation than it is fading.

It's pathetic but sometimes I worry that he'll open up to her about things he's told me in secrecy. He says they aren't serious but I know it will happen eventually.
Honestly, the worst part about it all is that I just genuinely want him to be happy. I genuinely hope this girls works out. That he graduates with flying colors, lands a dream job, marries the girl, has a few kids and everything he ever wanted. We've even talked about what it would be like in the future, with him being an uncle to my kids. I want him to live a happy, fulfilling life. It just sucks that it can't be with me.

>>18492344
Get drunk or high with him and touch his leg. See how he responds. You can always blame the alcohol/drugs if it doesn't work out. If it does chances are he will want to fuck sober. Once you get to that point you'll know he's bi and you can confess your feelings to him.

>>18492433

there was a time when friendship was a much more important thing then it is now. your friends would see you through your marriage and beyond. your wife was just the woman you married and took care of. but your friends wree the ones you conquered the world with.

the chamorro even had a ceremony where you would choose your 'best friend' and after that everything that was yours was now his and vice versa.

>>18492433

Well, i just posted this in another thread so i'm just gonna copypasta.

I think lovesick is fucking terrible. I consider myself a sociopath, but i still have access to emotions. Lovesick somehow slipped it's way into a dream recently and i don't want it. I don't think it's healthy and it should be avoided at all costs.

Best advice i can give is to just run. Run yourself to exhaustion for the fun of it. It's my personal belief that running is the healthiest activity for a human as well as most animals. Long distance or sprinting. I like sprinting more.

Discarding your emotions is quite beneficial imo. Especially in reference to actually caring about someone. I think human emotion consistently stands in the way of properly caring for others.

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>>18492410
feelsbadman.jpg

how are you dealing with it?

>>18492436
Idk anon. We've slept in the same bed before and while I've thought about it (just being honest), I don't want to cross that line and make him uncomfortable. He's not someone I'd want a quick fuck with. He's my good friend and if it were me in the same situation (with a girl who had feelings for me), I wouldn't want her groping me. That actually happened before and kind of made me uneasy. Coincidentally, she was the first person I ever came out to. That's a whole other story though.

>>18492454

>i consider myself a sociopath, but unlike a sociopath im not a sociopath

i see.

>despite my retard logic, i think im smart enough to know that running actually fixes lovesickness

>>18492457

>how are you dealing with it

i somehow convinced him to move in with me.

hes supposed to leave in two weeks but hes decided to live iwth me until the end of summer.

>>18492458

Running releases endorphins, increases bloodflow, generates better health, and occupies the mind.

>>18492469

for an hour or so.

>>18492474

If that's how long you choose to run. If that's enough to clear your head and get into better thinking patterns. If you think there's only so much running you can do look up Yiannis Kouros.

>>18492478

if you think you're a sociopath who feels emotions, look up your local psychiatrist.

>>18492484

Why? I'm very functional and much more capable than most.

>>18492486

because its a side effect of being mentally retarded.

>>18492488

>I'm very functional and much more capable than most.

>>18492447
That sounds like a nice time to live in but the time's now and with the people we fall in love is a deeper relationship than we could ever have with our friends. No matter how close we with them.

I think soulmates aren't just lovers. But it can be one of the worst feelings when they aren't. He shares my birthday and even has the same name as my grandfather who passed away a few weeks from meeting him. He comes from a country in the middle of nowhere and I'm his first roommate ever. His mother (who is an angel) tells me all the time that she prayed for someone like me to meet her son.

It just can't be.

>>18492491
>im very functional and much more capable than most retards

better to not take the risk.

>>18492497

Well, at least you make it easy to keep OP's thread bumped.

Life is nothing but risk.

>>18492496

its unfortunate. but a thing isn't beautiful because it lasts. it sucks that you will never be able to have a certain part of him. but if you stick with him one day you might meet girls who look at you and wish that they could see the part of him that only you do.

one of my straight friends passive aggresively refers to me as his 'other girlfriend'. instead of them moving in together hes trying to find an apartment in my neighborhood so we can hang out more often.

i stil lwish there was parts of him I could see, to feel like that top priority no matter what. but im happy for what i have and its been the longest frindship of my life now, let alone relationship

>>18492459
And how are you emotionally? What are you plans with your relationship??

Idk anon, I'm at constant teetering between wanting to end our friendship cold turkey and keeping it going despite killing me. I just know that ending it would really hurt him. And the whole situation just sucks for both of us.

I wish I didn't develop these feelings. That he could just be my best friend and nothing more. That I could be straight and never have to worry about it. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for all of this happening.

What may end our friendship is something I've never had control of.

>>18492513

ive got enough other shit going on in my life that this shit is just a subplot:
>>18492359


so its not weighing too heavily. I want to push further, but im just grateful to enojy the ride. fortunately, he is leaving no matter what at the end of summer. and he will be in school for 3 years. so ive chosen just to enjoy it while it lasts. if it was ongoing i might be in your shoes, but since he leaves at the end of summer i can just sit back and chill and wait for him to leave as long as the fire doens't burn me before then ill be fine.

>>18492507

But how do you deal with knowing that you will never be the top priority in his life when you can't help but place him in yours?

And when I try to focus on myself, putting him out of my mind, I get distant. Which makes him wonder what happened. Which reminds me of everything and then I get emotional. And then we argue. And then I feel like our friendship is fading. And I can't blame him. And I just wish that I never developed these feelings in the first place because it's turning me into someone I never thought I'd be. A nagging, over-emotional and yet somehow emotionally distant bitch who no one in their right mind would be friends with.

>>18492521
Holy shit anon, that is intense. I just want to reach across the screen and hug you. But hey, when it rains it pours. It sounds like your mother (like me) needs a therapist to get their shit together.

Won't you guys talk while he is in school? Just because he will be away doesn't mean he isn't any less important in your life you know?

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>>18492537

>But how do you deal with knowing that you will never be the top priority in his life when you can't help but place him in yours?

well, first and foremost, I don't make him the top priority in my life. i feel for him deeply, but i treasure friendship more than any relationship I had. all things fade, its sad, but I'm grateful to have whatever part of him I can. I've lasted longer than nay relationship hes had. and his intention is for us to be friends forever and neighbors one day. hes more or less said that if i wasn't a nudist hed move in with me.

unfortunately you either learn to hold the fire at a distance, or you just let it burn you. once your honeymoon phase is over you might settle nicely into a routine like in an actual romance. but sometimes were just destined to burn in one way or another.

>>18492547

my mothers been to a therapist for yeras nad on the happy pills but it doesn't seem to change anything. she lives in delusion and thats pretty much al lthere is. I try and i push and i encourage but here we are right back to square one with her pretending everythings fine and threatening to bring my father down to see me after I told her I never want to see him again.
as for my friend with him in school... probably not. at least not much. I was a military kid. i moved a LOT. i loved all my friends dearly and they're always in my mind, but i dont keep in touch. it becomes too complex usually. there has to be osmething were building towards, and while he does plan to return to town in three years, we'll be very different people by then.

maybe we'll reconnect. we probably won't.

>>18492344
I'm not gay, and I don't understand how gay people think, but I think you should move out for his sake.

>>18492344
I can relate. I had a situation like this. We were so close, practically a couple. Completely open and honest and comfortable with each other. Talked about how we'd be friends forever, always be in each other's lives. We we're the most important person in each other's lives. But I developed feelings.

When he met a girl and started dating her it was gut wrenching and conflicting. I was sincerely happy and sincerely jealous and angry. I sometimes would do or say little things to sabotage them, then feel guilty. I realized that it was killing me. For the sake of my own mental health it had to stop. And also because I loved him it had to stop. He would actually try to put me first but it was ruining his relationship, and she really was perfect for him. If I really love him I have to let him be happy, and for him that meant a wife and kids.

So I gradually cut contact. It hurt. But the pain started to heal with time. It does get better. I felt bad because I knew I was hurting him, but he had her--they got married. He still tries to contact me but I don't engage too much. It's just best for both of us.

So I guess that would be my advice. Protect both of your feelings and happiness and if that means walking away, do it because you love him.

You might also try the honesty approach. I was too big of a chicken to try it, but maybe he can help you work through it.

>>18492589

(not Op here, the other faggot) this is pretty much my long term plan for when things become too unbearable.

you can also just be up front about your feelings. does the same thing, makes them feel less bad about not having you in their lives, and and gives you closure.

but its a bit on the shameless side.

>>18492597
Yeah I think it was kind of cowardly of me and he deserved better, desu. But I was worried he would react way too badly and really hurt me. Which because I know him and trust him so much, intellectually I know he wouldn't but my heart was a different story.

Anyhow, it's been a year and half since he got married. We used to talk on the phone at least twice a day. Now we exchange texts every few months. Still miss him like hell, but he does seem happy.

Somehow typing this out made me feel a little pathetic.

>>18492597
>>18492344
So this video is ridiculously cheesy but this is the perfect song for those of us in this situation
.
https://youtu.be/s2SDInk6voA

>>18492626

i prefer this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeQJxgr2sQM

>>18492635
Yeah that's a good one :)

You could tell him, taking a risk in damaging your friendship, or even potentially lose it altogether.

Or you could keep it to yourself, taking a risk in damaging your own health by thinking "oh it could have been this or that if i had said something" down the line years from now.

i'd choose #1, but that's just me.

>>18492344
ur a slut for wanting straight cock. youre so gay you would ruin what friendship you have just to tell him something stupid. it just shows how much you care about the friendship versus sex.