Mom's Sketchy Boyfriend Moving In

(2/2)

He also offered to pay for my $2,000 dog (>inb4 that's too much money for a dog; I promise it's not too much for what I need and what I'm getting), which I shot down. 1.) I never, EVER want to owe anything to him rather than my hard work. 2.) I view it as a ploy to force our trust and acceptance and get my mom to spend money on him.

I also have a case manager who agrees with me and thinks my mom shouldn't go through with this. I'll be talking about it with my therapist at our appointment a few weeks from now, as well.

My housemate and I are going to talk to her about this whole situation over the weekend. How do we go about doing it? Are our concerns valid? If so, how can we possibly talk her out of it or prevent the boyfriend from coming?

My mom is very, very, very stubborn and deluded by her religious superstition and her many yes men who either don't know the full scope of the situation or don't want to challenge her.

Shitty situation. You being an ill female doesn't help it.
Personally, the first day he'd appear, I would just take him for a walk and talk, and tell him that if anything goes to shit or that my living standard was gonna drop a few steps because of him, I'm gonna find him and tear the skin off his body.
I mean, I would actually do that because I don't fuck around when it's about family.
BUT you won't be able to tell him that and getting a jackass friend to do that will end up in the police getting involved.

>How do we go about doing it?
You exaggerate things. Focus on your illness and all that anxiety stuff you both feel.
If she's gonna say shit like "you don't know him yet" or "but he's nice, you're gonna go along well", tell her that she doesn't know him either and that she has to choose between the comfort of the people closest to her or fucking some brown cunt that wants to piggyback off her wallet.

Really, you have to be blunt and aggressive about that stuff. Keep pressure on her and make her decide on the spot.
If she takes him in, just move out to a relative. Don't forget to call her a cunt for it.

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>>18469710
Your mom sounds like a moron, OP. I'm not trying to be mean, but this sounds like a nightmare to me. Your concerns are definitely legitimate.

I've been in that situation before OP. Tried to talk things with mother but she wouldn't have it. If ended up getting in a fight with him and getting arrested for it. Even then mother was on his side. It wasn't until she caught him lying that she opened her eyes, but by then the damage had already been done. My advice to you is move out as soon as possible and let your mother be.

>>18469710
>met him in DR on vacation
Stopped there. Smack the shit out of your mom and tell her that shes not going to ruin the family for some dick

>>18469710
holy shit you are gonna get raped so hard by a nigger no less

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>>18469813
>>18469879
>shitty situation
>sounds like a nightmare
It truly does make me want to die sometimes when I think about it at night. Thanks for the, uh, understanding. Yikes.

>>18469995
>>18470167
Neither of these are viable solutions lmao.

I also don't have anywhere to go. I don't have the money to live alone yet, I haven't seen my alcoholic bum of a dad in 10 years and don't know how to contact him either (wouldn't want to live with him, either, though), and my mom's actually the STABLE one of her family. None of my friends can take me in, either.

>>18470253
Best of luck OP. You are very smart to reject his advice on paying for some of the dog. That sounds like a scam there, and it seems he will be in control if you said yes.

Try reasoning with mom with the following: money. How will he contribute to the house? Being sweet and all that is nice if you are still a kid moving in somewhere. However he is a grownass man and he can be nice and kind all he wants.... The bills are still gonna increase!!! More food, more water, more electricity. A lot of stuff. He doesnt even have a JOB. He will be alone all day with her 19yo daughter. No way am I going to let a stranger in with my teenage daughter. Your mom will prob resist saying she trust him..... But does she trust YOU her own flesh and blood? This situation makes you extremely uncomfortable and if she is not willing to consider you on such a major deal like this, then ask her does she really love you?

Shit stinks OP. She doesnt even know his background, he just used his good looks to woooo your mom. Dude could be a murderer or a thief. Def a con artist imo.

>>18469710
>quitting work to raise the dog

Yeah, that sounds like a good life choice....

>>18470303
Lololololololololol

>>18470303
It's a worker, not a lap dog, and all puppies need a lot of care, regardless. My mom makes enough money to support the two of us and help me move without worry.

I need to instill a strong obedience base in all situations. And if the dog passes B.H., it'll be trained in IPO (that's tracking, obedience, and protection). I'm also going to teach it to pull carts, and perhaps train it to be a service animal. Additionally, it's a large, protective breed, so it needs lots of socialization to minimize the risk it from developing inappropriate aggression or anxiety.

It's the correct decision for the health of the dog and what I need of it.

>>18470360

Dont take this the wrong way, but..

If youre smart enough to rationalize having this dog, then you were smarter than a g.e.d., and youve fucked yourself for life and are using your mental condition (whatever it is) to justify it. My ex had diagnosed issues. She left home at 16 and made more money than I did.

Quit work, spend 2k on a dog, "I cant afford living on my own". Bullshit.

You and your roommates are adults, life sucks, and if your mother is a shithead and prefers latino cock over you, youd better harden the fuck up and make a living for yourself.

In the meantime, shut the fuck up. Fix your own life, sell the dog, get a job, have children, and treat them better than your mother treated you.

Of course your children wont appreciate you and turn into brats, but thats reality, hope for the best and expect the worst.

>>18470395
>and youve fucked yourself for life and are using your mental condition (whatever it is) to justify it. My ex had diagnosed issues. She left home at 16 and made more money than I did.
I have OCD. When I was first diagnosed, it was considered severe. My compulsion was not eating, and I didn't eat for a month. I came pretty close to multiple organ failure. That happened 4 years ago. I've got it down to mild and I'm not even on meds anymore. OCD sufferers rarely ever have such excellent results. As far as mental illnesses go, the prognosis is among the least promising, but I did it. Now it's time for me to focus on the regular life shit everyone else gets to do. I've also had depression, and haven't had a bout of it in more than two years. I had to drop out of school for my health.

>Quit work, spend 2k on a dog, "I cant afford living on my own". Bullshit.
I still don't have a GED and have never held a job, dude. My mom pays for everything for me right now, but I'm currently unemployable and I can't be unemployable when I don't have anyone to support me until I secure a job and a GED. Pets are also essential to my mental health, so I need that, too, and it's way easier to save $2000 when I don't have to pay for anything else, and easier to properly train it when I don't have to work to support myself.

>have children
I'm not inflicting my genetics on another, and I don't want to be a parent anyway nor should I be, even if the kid's adopted.

Have him whacked. Cheaper in the long run, and you will save his next victim also.

Lonely old woman are easy targets for opportunists, don't give up on your mom anon, try to put some sense on her mind before its too late.

>>18469717
God, spoonies are so annoying sometimes,

>>18470395
Yeah, agreed. Your first priority is not "deal with your mental health", your first priority is not still being a massive fucking burden on everyone else in your life.

Get a fucking job OP.

>>18470559
Working on it, dudes. And yes it is when my mental illness was debilitating and life-threatening. I'm not at that point anymore. I still have the leg braces on and I'm working on getting them off. I literally cannot work or go to school when my mental illness is that poor. I end up sick in the hospital with a feeding tube. I did that four fucking times. I know what's best for me.

>>18469710
If you live in spain if you pay for the travel to your city and give me 100€ i break his legs for you girl

>can't take care of myself
>plans on getting a dog
Retard thread?
Retard thread.

>>18471523
I can take care of myself. I just don't have a job yet, but am completely functional on all levels. I'm not a fucking invalid. You're neglecting that I have a large, trustworthy psychiatric team that supports my goals, which includes ending services soon. This has been implicit in all of my posts.

So many of you are pathetic, focusing on trying to assert your inexistent superiority over me on an unrelated issue instead of being actually helpful. You're fucking lame.

You sound like a beta bitch, tbqh OP.
Grab the bull by the horns.

>>18470303
Tbh this is how I feel. If my 19 year old daughter asked for a dog that cost 2k I'd just give her the 2k and kick her out. You're sick, just not for the reasons I think you're willing to accept kek

>>18471594
It's good you think you can take care of yourself because that's what I see in your future. Paying for your own hospital bills, rent, pets. You should be focused on moving out instead of trying to ruin your mother's chances at romance. Ever think this was her way of getting you to adult the fuck up? You're screaming for self pity in your own thread ffs.

>>18471594
You sound like a land whale Tumblrina. Go back to your personal safe space, /adv/ isn't it.

>>18471681
t. guy who views dogs as pets instead of workers, or thinks that any dog can work
t. guy who didn't read that I'm paying for it with my own money and have refused help from others

>>18471700
>>18471701
I'm literally in the process of getting everything together to move out. I haven't gone to the hospital in nearly 3 years. I've looked at dozens of apartments, contacted landlords, laid out several rough budgets with varying incomes and in all of them, have enough to cover rent, groceries, the dog, savings, and so on. I don't make decisions without careful planning. I'm making the right choice for myself and my future.

The problem is my mom wants to move some random fucking dude from the DR into our house in like a month and it's fucking with not only my plans and well-being, but our housemate's as well. I can't maintain my mental health if I get fucking raped, or take the time to properly raise a working dog if I'm working all day, or have the luxury of quitting work because my mom couldn't keep it in her pants and we get robbed.

I'm not looking for pity. I'm trying to solve a problem and pity is neither conducive to that, nor gratifying. 've explained myself and asserted my ability. There's not one person who wouldn't think this is a difficult situation if they were in it, which is why I'm asking for advice. My housemate and I don't know how to approach. Very few of you have made the effort to help.

The point still stands that you attempt to tear other people down instead of building self-worth through meaningful contributions.

>>18471776
It's really hard to feel pity for some unemployed tumblrina, those who diagnose themselves with anything and everything to get attention, who thinks it's wise to spend 2k on a dog. Keep your list of excuses of why you can't adult. It stopped for me there. Blaming others for your own shortcomings is annoying. There's plenty of options already given to you, just do what you do and throw a tantrum.

>>18471776
You act like your mom isn't entitled to have her own life, and that she needs to defer all of her behaviors and desires to you. TOO FUCKING BAD. This guy she's involved with may turn out to be a scumbag, he may turn out to need to be heavily reliant on her. Your concern about this doesn't seem like it's for your mother's wellbeing, but because you're some sort of helpless adult-baby who's upset that some of mommy's attention MAY be siphoned off to someone else.

You and your "brother" sound like a huge drain on your mother. You're getting a hostile reaction from a lot of people here probably because you seem like an extremely selfish piece of shit. "Oh, I have complicated problems, treat me like I'm fragile and precious, and everyone needs to make sure my needs come first."

Your mom may have a bad habit of acquiring losers, but that's her business, not yours. She may NEED this -- someone who is going to put his time and energy toward making her happy. Even if it turns out that she's going to have to support him, as long as she gets what she needs out of it, it's a benefit to her. And you don't know this guy. He might actually be a good guy.

So here's some advice: fucking deal with it. You're worried you aren't going to be able to leech off your mother for support because she might get robbed by some foreigner? Get a fucking job or find some way to obtain support for yourself that isn't linked to your mother. Most western countries have some form of social services for mentally deficient people like yourself. You need a service animal but don't have time to train one? Get one from someone who does. Especially because "oh no, the dog isn't responding the way I want, I can't cope, waaah" is undoubtedly going to be a real thing for you.

You're in the process of moving out? Then suck it up and do it. "Oh I can't cope, I can't go forward with my plans because I'm worried about this guy", fuck you. This guy is irrelevant to your behavior.