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Hey fellas. Two questions:
1.) Is my strong opposition my mom's relationship unreasonable?
2.) If you think it's a bad relationship, how do I keep it from continuing?
About a week before mother's day, while on a vacation to the Dominican Republic, my mom bumped into an employee at a buffet. She says she turned around to apologize to him and when he introduced himself, her first thought was to say "It's good to meet you. I've heard so much about you". My mother is very religious and she took this to mean there is some divine intervention going on and that they were destined for each other. The two flirted during the rest of her trip, and at the end of it, he invited her to join WhatsApp to keep in touch with him.
She regularly chats with him online and talks to him on the phone now. When I hear her on the phone, it's like she's talking to a child. She uses very simple words, topics, and sentence structures, and a coaxing tone of voice. When they chat online, she has to use Google Translate.
Yesterday, she told me that he'll be coming to the U.S. in a few months so they can meet in-person again. She says he's paying for this. I don't know if I believe her, but I'd like to.
(1/?)
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>>18442811
(2/2)
Here's some more info about my mom:
>early 50s
>middle class
>has 2 master's degrees & a PhD
>somehow didn't notice my dad was an alcoholic until after she married him (possible poor judge of character, even still)
>divorced my dad and hadn't dated anyone until now
>fat
>speaks bad Spanish
Here's some info about the BF:
>early 50s
>I don't think he has kids or has ever married (red flag at his age IMO)
>didn't graduate HS
>Christian (Catholic, I think... my mom is Protestant)
>average IQ in the D.R. is about 85, their top 1% is 115 or higher (my mom's was tested to be about 135 the one time she took a professionally administered test)
>VERY pushy when flirting with her, already telling her she's THE ONE for him even though they've only known each other for about a month
>speaks bad English
I don't foresee any potential scenarios where this plays out well. I'll list them:
>What if the boyfriend is a dating scammer?
>What if the boyfriend just wants a green card?
>What if he's a decent, well-meaning guy but my mom is so much smarter and wealthier than him that it's predatory on her end?
>What if they get married but find the massive obstacles (experiences, education/intelligence, interests, language, money, etc.) too great to overcome and they divorce?
And if they marry and move-in together, how can the boyfriend (bad English) get a job in the U.S., or how can my mom (bad Spanish) get a job in the D.R.?
Additionally, I'm recovering from a severe mental illness and really need her help. I've been deteriorating since she got back and broke the news, which I think is because I feel as if I'm losing the only social support I really have, in addition to being the only relative I stay in touch with.
Thanks.
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>>18442811
1) You have every right to be concerned because often in these situations there's an ulterior motive. This one doesn't sound genuine.
2) there's nothing you can do to prevent it. You can talk to your mom about how you feel and warn her. However, would you dump a guy because your mom said, I think he's bad? She isn't going to listen to you if she doesn't want to.
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hang on, he's one of these Creole type nogs, right?
normally I'd say to mind your own business if it was anything else (unless the guy was a criminal or mentally unstable) but this has got to be a scam, in fact, there have been movies made about this fucked-up shit:
pic related
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bump before bed
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>>18443481
please rescue your mom from this rapefugee, OP.
that's your inheritance that's going out the fucking window right there, you know that?
there have got to be resources for this kind of scam online, look around and get the other family members onboard to stage an intervention if she's spending money on this fuck,
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>>18443490
I'm OP on mobile. She says she's not giving him any money and that she'd in the relationship if he did, but I don't have complete confidence in that.
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>>18443490
>Women in charge of money
This is why you go with the father after a divorce, if possible.
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Morning bump.
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final bump
Please help.
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>>18442811
There is really not that much you can do. Just warn you mother about the HIGH FUCKIN POSSIBILITY OF HIM BEING A SCAMMER. For fucks sake she paid for the trip, he will probably ask for more. He seems really pushy so fast which is already a bad sign. Also tell her long distance relationships don't always work, almost never in fact.
Warn her and talk to her seriously about it if she is a person that seems to be understanding with other points of view.
Other than that, you're not really God to manipulate her actions. You can try to influence them, but thats about it.
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>>18446859
>For fucks sake she paid for the trip
No, she says he's paying. I hope she's telling the truth.
I'm also saving up to buy a dog and for some reason she told him this, and he offered to pay for the dog as well, or at least give me some money, and said that he'd bring it with him when he comes over here. It's a nice gesture, but I still think it's sketchy as hell. He could be trying to weasel his way further into my mom's life by making her think he cares about her child.
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>>18446883
probably b/s. remind her of how lies are bad, and of how nasty people take advantage of god-fearing people.
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another movie, "Heading South".
no j/k, this nog wants to eat you out of house and home, and he'll eat your dog too, ffs!
ps: my uncle is minister for oil in Nigeria and I have this money in my account, perhaps your mom is interested in doing some business.
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>>18446883
Probably has some ulterior motives other than love. Probably wants sex or money, he may also be lying. Tell your mom and make her realize how fucking sketchy everything is.
Don't really have anything against anyone but just mentioning your mom seems pretty naive and innocent for her age,
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your mom sounds lonely. find her a better man. or make her focus on you for a while.
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>>18442811
Take her to a Catholic Church then remind her that it's the religion of pedophiles, the mafia, and Aldof Hitler. Then further tell her that destiny had nothing to do with her bumping into the bus boy at the salad bar.
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