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Whenever I mention that I built my own PC or I help someone do some very basic troubleshooting, people seem to look at me as if I'm a fucking genius. I hate it. Knowing the absolute basics of these excruciatingly simple "nerdy" things makes some people see me as smart. Except I can't even do high school algebra. I shouldn't have graduated. I am, by all means, a fucking idiot. I may have some potential but I can't do anything with it. Doesn't help that poor as shit.
I've taken a little Python course through a state-sponsored virtual school but I really didn't learn much through it. The teacher also just didn't give two fucks of a shit.
I'm 19 now and I STILL haven't learned much about programming. I know a little bit about web design as I took a course in high school but it really didn't help much. I have rudimentary Photoshop skills and that's it.
I've been interested in learning this stuff for years and years, since twelve years old. At that point I was probably a bit too young, but now I SHOULD be fully capable. I just don't want to fucking do anything. I don't even want to play vidya anymore, I don't even want to watch anime. I've started to hate porn and masturbating due to the harmful culture it seems to create. I would rather just die. I don't want to bother.
How can I stop this? I'm so sick of feeling dumb. I want to be smarter, I want to know all there is to know. I want to get further into programming and create things for my communities, I want to get further into graphic design except I can't draw. It's just so hard to find it within myself to actually start doing anything. I believe depression has legitimately wreaked havoc upon my cognitive abilities.
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>>18462390
just ignore those people. there are plenty of people who would consider me clever... i just smoke. llove smoking the herb
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You know, I started programming Ruby when I was 25. It was the best choice in my whole life. I'm not very good at math even though I have proper education. Web programming is waiting for you!
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>>18462390
There's a guy who does hilarious videos called You Suck At Photoshop. Keeps things interesting as you learn.
As for programming, I'd just lookup tutorial projects on YouTube.
Ya know how when you're bored you sit on your phone? Make learning your new bored time.
Also get some discipline by going to the gym every other day and forcing yourself to do shit regardless of how you feel. Make sure you're eating enough healthy foods, staying hydrated and getting sleep.
Elon Musk wrote his first videogame when he was 12 and sold it. The only difference between the two of you is you think he's a genius. If a 12 year old can make a videogame in the age of no internet then for sure you can.
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You're just not in the mindset of a programmer.
Head over to >>>/g/dpt
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