gf and guy best friend

>I told her everything on my mind
>Told her it felt like she just shoved away all my problems like they were nothing, that my feelings aren't that important
>She doesn't get the point
>''Well sorry for asking you to go drinking with me and bestie?''
>''Why do you bring this up now, I thought we talked about this earlier?''
>I tell her she knows what kind of person I am while talking face to face, that im having problems conveying my true feelings to somebody
>''So you just lied to me yesterday''
>No I wasn't?
>It's just that you don't think it's too big of a deal and completely forget the issues im having
>''Because you're the one making it seem like there is nothing more going on''

Okay I understand that part, I can pretend like it's all cool pretty fucking good, which is not good at all.

>''You're trying to shove al the problems to me''
>''That's just the way he is and I'm fine with it''
>''We don't mean anything when we do the things we do''
>''He wishes the best for our relationship and he lets me know it a alot''
>''You're the one who's having problems, not me, so you should talk to him about it, not with me. What do you want me to do?''
>I tell her I need her support, I want her to understand me
>''We already adapted a lot incase you haven't noticed''

Background story: I've known a girl my whole life before I met my gf and we were also really good friends, but she saw me as a brother so I kinda deleted her out of my life for my gf because it didn't felt right to even talk to her.

>''I have the feeling that I cant do anything with him anymore because it makes you jealous''
>Im not jealous
>The only thing bothering me is him still liking you and you being the only one not seeing this
>''I just cant believe it, He doesnt like me, he told me that''
>Talk about my previous crush
>She doesnt believe I dont have any lingering feelings for me
>''I just cant believe you for that''
>So the same counts for him?
>''Uhm.. Yeah I guess''

>She finally gets me
>But still thinks it's something I should be talking to him about and that there's not much what she can do about it because I'm the one having the problems with him
>She's kinda right, but still feels like she doesn't have my back for a 100%
>''So im not even allowed to touch him''
>Im not that dramatic, you're still not getting me
>''If things go too far, what I see as a joke and just let go.. you get annoyed by it, so just speak up to him''
>I tell her al the ''jokes'' he's been saying like ''Im touching your gf''
>''But thats just a joke..''
>Well it wouldnt annoy me if I never knew he liked you
>''He USED TO like me''
>His actions dont match up to his words
>''Thats just him being himself''
>''What do you want from me''
>I want to you stand behind me on this, because its not a you or a me, it's us.
>We have a longer talk about him being her bestie and not mine, that she's only repeating one problem I pointed at about him touching her back, making me seem all over dramatic.
>It's not just about that
>So it comes to the conclusion that you wont change no matter how I feel about it?
>That's where this converation is going to right?
>She explains that's not what she meant but it feels like it's suddenly all her fault
>I tell her she definitely plays a role in it
>I tell her that even when I go talk to him, he can just point at her saying she's all cool with it, leaving me standing there like im nothing
>It feels like you're thinking of me like shit
>She explains I mean a lot to her, saying things like ''Wtf no, ofcourse this isn't good, I do care about how you feel''
>Gf takes car of parents and visits me'
>We talk about it all, I threw in your previous advice
>Only thing left is talking to him.
>We have sex in the car before she left
>We feel closer

How am I going so far /adv/ Am I letting her walk over me or?

>>18189930
>its not a you or a me, it's us
I'm nearly 30 and have been in a few relationships. If I ever have to say this to a girl, the relationship is already close to ending. Any girl who needs this to be told to them is too immature to be in a relationship, which it sounds like your gf is. It's like helping the idiot in class cheat on a test. You can say this to them, but they just aren't going REALLY to get it, will continue being an idiot, and will just fail at the next thing in life.

Almost sounds like she banged you to give you false reassurance. I mean seriously, how did this argument really need to happen? Your points, your requests are so straight forward and fair. The fact there was any resistance on this is a huge red flag. Sounds like she just got tired of arguing because she knew your stance was firm, so didn't submit to your requests but banged you to make you think she's "yours". She's still making you deal with it instead of taking accountability and telling another man not to touch all over her.

>>18189905
>>''We don't mean anything when we do the things we do''
"you are hurting me with what you do"
>>''I just cant believe it, He doesnt like me, he told me that''
= she trusts him more than you

>>18189930
>not much what she can do about it
well yes, there is a fuck ton of stuff she does that crosses the line, getting in his car instead of yours, letting him be this touchy with her and trusting him more and telling him more than you, all those points are not how normal people act in a relationship. And no she is not "getting you"
>>''So im not even allowed to touch him''
"why would you wanna touch him, when you can touch me?"
>>''But thats just a joke..''
"a joke that hurt's me because it causes conflicting feelings, why would you wanna be involved in something, that hurts me?"


OP, point is, she want's the attention and is getting it, is rubbing it in your face even. Your friend is not your best friend, otherwise he would tell you whatever she tells him but not you. He also has the easy part, where he can only play the victim in this drama that you are partaking in. Whatever he leverages as success comes at your cost and if he plays his cards well, he will win her from you at some point, and they both will bath in your sorrow and pain.
So:
a) be self respecting, leave her if she doesnt change (which she probably will not)
b) manipulate him into not liking her anymore, talk about her nasty sides with him, if she asks you to stop, ask her why, he is your both best friend and you both trust him, if you do it good, you can reverse the roles and keep the dumb chick.
c) make her jealous, find a female friend, preferably hotter(this gets girls steaming), get them a role in the drama act and play the lingering danger of you leaving her for the chick. jealoussy makes girls do what you want before they realise how badly you plaxed her. Hell, my mother once told me after a fight with my father, "if only I wouldn't have been that jealous back then"

This shit is going to implode big time, one giant ass ticking bomb. When trust starts to erode both sides need to work to fix it, not just one. They both sound perfect for each other in their denial. You will go insane trying to ignore it, so best to put everything on the line to fix it instead of dying a slow painful death. That way, even if things go nuclear, you can look back and say you put your best effort in instead of letting the guy exploit your relationship.

>>18189876
I didn't read because this sets of my autism alarm but chances are 95% you are getting cucked

>>18189952
>>18190055
>>18190596

Thanks for the help guys, I'll just wait what happens after I talk with him about this, and what they'll do to change this whole situation, because I won't accept them doing nothing about it. Even if he tells me the same thing ''bro I dont like her anymore'' and she believes him, I dont trust that shit. And I made it clear that I dont want to make her choose, but if even after the talk with him, nothing really changes, then i'm done with them both. I'm dealing with being a HSP and it's fucking shit I can tell you all that. And she knows too.

Thanks for all the help /adv/ I'll keep you updated after the other talk

I'm 28 and have been with a couple girls who were bad news like this. Dude, you think you know her, but you have absolutely no idea what she is capable of. She's cheating on you, and doesn't give a shit about how much she's hurting you, and the more you try to talk to her about it, the more she's gonna want to cheat.

You can either keep riding this until you absolutely hate her and have no respect for yourself for letting yourself be walked all over like this, or you can at least save your dignity and drop that bitch now. Either way, she's gonna fuck him. Either fucking way.

I feel such rage for you right now, because I know from experience just how desperate and hopeless of a situation you are in. Honestly, your life will improve without those people in it.

Look, she sounds like a disrespectful, unempathic, unsympathetic stupid cow. And he seems like an utter jerk.

I suspect you're getting played, and your life will be happier without the constant worry hanging over you.

>>18189952
>It's like helping the idiot in class cheat on a test. You can say this to them, but they just aren't going REALLY to get it, will continue being an idiot, and will just fail at the next thing in life.
This is so damn real holy shit

>>18191025
That's good brah, hoping the best for you. While you're at it, spin some plates. Meaning contact some women you know.

>>18189876

Hey dude, I saw your thread yesterday and its good to see you took charge and spoke to your girlfriend. Her responses on the other hand probably aren't what you wanted. She is putting up a fight instead of siding with you on this issue, its really not that complicated, its a matter of respect and what is appropriate when you're in a relationship. Arguing whether what that guy does is a joke or whether he likes her or not are irrelevant when it makes you uncomfortable.

She sounds very immature as well, most people would be able to sympathise with your situation, I mean if you had a girl bestie that "used to" like you and hung out with her all of the time, made your girlfriend feel like a third wheel how would she feel about it? It's just common sense.

I mean fair enough if she overlooked all of this and didn't realise how uncomfortable it makes you but the second she found out that it does she should take the necessary steps to stop you feeling that way, point number one being to decrease contact and draw strict boundaries with that guy.

The dude sounds like a snake, he teases you about stealing your girlfriend and spends all that time with her. He's doing a great job at making you appear crazy and demanding too, while making her think he's the cool, innocent best friend she can turn to when things turn sour with you. Without a doubt if she wanted him this guy would fuck her at the drop of a hat, no doubts about it.

>>18189876

Hey dude, I was going to post something but these guys have it covered >>18190596 >>18191089. This is a sinking ship, what you choose to do about it will likely determine how fucked up you will be coming out of it and with how much self respect and dignity.

You are going alright at the moment, stand your ground, firmly, let her know you are not afraid to walk away because of this bullshit. Losing her because she couldn't muster enough respect for you to push this slithering snake of a friend away from her is MUCH better than sticking around to find out they are fucking behind your back and how it's all of a sudden your fault.

She seems to be more concerned that she feels blamed for your feelings instead of acknowledging how to fix them. She is trying to play the victim here and like the issue is only between you and this guy to resolve (aka fight over me! give me attention!).

Sup anon, I'm the dude from the original thread that said I'd beat the fuck outta my friend if they did that to me, just popping in to say I'm proud of u.

Don't take any more shit from either of them. Personally, the relationship is gone for me, but maybe you can salvage it.

If you do break up and she gets with him (i.e. rebound), grab some popcorn because the EXACT SAME THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO THEM, and it'll be hilarious.

Posivibes, anon - posivibes.

>>18191351
>>18191200
>>18191179
>>18191131
>>18191089
>>18191060

This really helps a lot /adv/ I'm beginning to have some more pride in myself, I was always the type of person who gave 100% to people who most of the time, didn't do the same back. But I'm starting to notice my growth in how I'm looking at things.

Really appreciate it all, I'm kinda in positive vibes because of you all. I'll see what happens, but my happiness is in my own hands.

Thanks again guys

>>18191570
Excellent, anon.

Keep us updated on the situation :)

>>18189905
I honestly don't think I've ever seen someone fail to put their foot down so badly.

Tell her the guy toucjing is not ok and if she has a problem with that then she can just go ahead and start sucking his dick because your done.

Jesus fucking christ op. Grow a spine.

I had somewhat of the same but completely different experience
There was me
Friend A
Friend B
And a dumb hoe

Friend A (like a brother) had been in a relationship with her before but they broke up do to unknown reasons on my end.
Friend b REALLY liked her and they where together
And me not showing any attention to her
She would always tell me how she misses A and she wants to be with him again and always asked how he was doing while infront of B who always made it clear he wasn't comfortable.
This got really complicated one day when i went over to my friends early in the day to go grab a jacket i left there. B and hoe where swiming in his pool. A, B, and i smoked bud so called up friend A to come smoke with us and match a bowl i left in my jacket by mistake, He gets over and then things got a little messed up. Once A came over hoe wouldn't even speak to B, kept ignoring him and plain out being disrespectful, i was just high minding my own buisness and stepped into the pool, B gets upset that she keeps telling A to get in the pool but even he seen it was wrong to do. So he leaves shortly after, B immediately gets happy like a dumbass he is, Goes inside to grab a towel and do some other shit (not sure what took him long as i never asked) she starts coming on to me once he gets out, im trying to play it off and backing up everytime she comes closer as i hated her spic family and really thought she was annoying (we all live close) then she starts to go faster, i didn't want to make obvious i wasn't in to her so i kept at the same pace. Within like 5 mins after my friend left she tries to give me a handjob, told her i didn't want to hurt b's but she didn't care, keeps rubbing and i didn't exactly want to push her away, Starts to say that we should fuck soon. Start to argue but B comes back out. She still tried to finish me in his pool whike he was getting ready to bbq...
Never understood till that day why people call women bitches or hoes. But OP, just end it