ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

To the women. What do you offer us men in terms of an LTR, that I can't get elsewhere with far less hassle whilst maintaining my freedom?

>>18098976
Companionship, support, love, intimacy, affection, intellectual and emotional connection, exclusivity, loyalty.

>>18098983
>[citations needed]

Ladies

Got a girl a gift, who isn't my girlfriend, but there's potential. Anyways. Should I wait till her birthday in July to give her the gift? Or should I give it to her sooner? And should I tell her I got her a gift? Or is that weird? Like should I just keep it a surprise? Btw it's a signed poster by one of her favourite artists.

>>18099003
How much does the gift cost? If it is an important gift, wait. If it's cheap, give it to her now randomly and say something like "saw this and thought of you".

>>18099008
This. Though random gift giving risks you looking desperate.

>>18098990
A wet warm penis sleeve with a person attached to it.

>>18098976
Doesn't matter, you've already decided that women aren't worth bothering with. Not that I care, there are plenty of guys out there who don't see the fact that women are people as a burden.

Girls: what do you find attractive about a happy trial?

Girls: I've been told I should go out and do a casual hookup, tindr is kind of off the table for me but I hear clubs are a good second option. Do you actually go to clubs to have one nighters? I realize some girls do just go for fun and drinks and such but surely some go just for hookups right?

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What's up with girls matching on Tinder/Bumble and not wanting to go out?
>Match with girl
>End up exchanging messages back and forth for a bit
>Suggest we should meet up for a drink and to talk more
>Radio goddamn silence every fucking time
Seriously what the shit? We have a great convo then I suggest we should meet up and it's nothing ever again. What's going on?

>>18099134
Tindr is mostly used by women as verification that they are attractive and are desired. The moment meeting up is mentioned, it's 100% confirmed and they just bail and move on to the next one.

Not that guys don't do it too but it's commonly women.

>>18099137
Well fuck. Guess now is as good as time as any to quit online dating, buy a fleshlight and take up full time alcoholism.

>>18099150
Tindr is casual dating, real dating is on websites, not some shitty app on your phone.

>>18099134
>>18099150
You were never going to get a girlfriend off those apps

>>18099152
What real websites? Because both POF and Okcupid seem to be wastelands of landwhales, and I'm not willing to drop my standards that much yet.

>>18099154
I'm not even looking for a girlfriend, just a girl to go out with and have a fun time with once or twice. I can't even fucking get that right now.

Both gender please,

My sister's boyfriend behave like he's the one who own the house everytime he came here. He always bring food but never share to anyone but my sister, he's eating food from our fridge, he always took a bath here whenever he came in weekend, he wear unappropriate clothing like he's in his own home.

My mother said to me to not kicking the guy out, just to restrict his movement in house whenever he came, but I don't know he seem to not acknowledge me as the oldest man in the house (my dad 's dead years ago) and I don't want to make someone who's not in the family yet to act too comfortable/familiar around us.

What the best course of action to do?

>>18099185
Ask your sister to have a talk with him.

Mention the behaviours that bother you and your mom and ask her if she could please talk him out of those things. Say that some of the things he does make you feel uncomfortable, don't say you're bothered because he acts too familiar around you.
You should be tactful to your sister, and ask her to be tactful about these things and don't mention the talk you just had.

>>18099174
change
>wanna meet me for a drink?
to
>couple buddies and i are going to <bar> this Saturday, you should get your friends together and come join us
try that

>>18099185
seconding what the other anon said and if that doesn't work then whoever the head of the household is, be it you or your mother, needs to have a word with him

>>18099191
I've talked to my sister about that, but his behaviors still continues, he at least stopped raiding our fridge though.

>>18099205
I've talked to my mother to about that, and she just restrict his movement a bit, still not stopping that guy from taking bath here.
When I wanted to talk with him, mom always stopped me. I know it sounds paranoid, but I am having a bad feeling about this guy since he keeps pushing the boundaries here.

Ladies,

Girlfriend and I got in a fight 2 nights ago.
Next day I didn't talk to her at all.

Last night she came home from work and got all dolled up. Nice clothes, make up, new shoes. Said she was going to go to a high school get together over a friend who passed away, and that she'd be back in an hour.

I went to bed, woke up at 4 am, she wasn't home. I tried calling and texting her and finally got a response.

"Sorry I'll come home now. I lost track of time I just missed these guys."

This turned into a text argument and she ended up saying that she was gonna nap there and then drive home because she was too tired.

Turns out this place is an apartment that belongs to 2 dudes that she was close with in high school.

Is she doing this to spite me? I have little reason to believe that women have multiple guy friends to have actual friendships, but rather to use them as pawns and as opportunities if things go awry in their current relationships. I have a bad gut feeling about this, and would like some input before I pull the trigger and pack her bags.

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Guys,

What are your insecurities?

I'm a guy myself, and personally I'm insecure about my ectomorphic body so I obsess over the size of my clothing and I'm always worried people think I'm creepy so I avoid everyone.

>>18098983
Implying a dog doesn't provide those, minus the nagging, divorce rape and cheating.

>>18099216
Dude here.
Just fucking dump her.
If there is any doubt, there is no doubt. She fucked both those guys.

Want some more advice? Never get advice about women from other women.

>>18098968
is 5.7(1.72) enough?

>>18099256
Plenty tall enough for a woman.

>>18099216
dump her after one last wild fuck

>>18099216
It's obvious she's doing it to spite you. I won't say you're wrong if you think those guys were her pawn or backup.

Before you pull the trigger, how about you approaching those dudes or her friends? Hear stories from their side first.

>>18099214
If he sleeps over, it's fair that he takes a bath at your place.

>>18099216
It seems like you're both immature.
You for the whole silence treatment, her for going out of her way to annoy you and make you feel jealous.

Anyway, there are plenty of people who have opposite gender friends. I doubt that this is the case, tho.

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Okay, girls I have a serious question.

What do you think if a guy checks you out and you notice it. Like you really catched him how he was staring at your behind or chest for some time. What kind of thing gets through your mind when you see it happening?

Do you automatically just think, its a freak? Or are you okay with it and just move on? Or are you even flattered depending on the man who does it?

Girls, lets suppose you have this bf and a have a great relationship together in pretty much every aspect.

But then he confesses that he was kinda a creepy stalker to you before you were dating (not talking about following you in the night, but shit like constantly checking out everything you do on social media and constantly fapping to you even after the very first time you met).

How would you react to it? would it still bother you or would you let it pass because it doesn´t matter at this point?

>>18099222
Below average dick, average height (yes, I was I was above average), can´t make conversation easly unless I know the person for years, sweat too much.

>>18099338
He's not sleeping over here actually. It's started when one time my mother allowed him once, since he and my sister wanted to go to an event straight from their job (they're co-workers) and it'd be inappropriate to go there dirty, but after that he's just keep doing that.

I don't like he's doing as he please at my house, and taking advantage of an old lady kindness.

>>18099358
First thought: what a creep (this is honestly regardless of physical attractiveness, attractive men can be creeps) If you're checking me out and making faces at me, that isn't a pick up line.

Second thought: better keep guard up in case rape. wheres my phone, wheres my pepper spray. are there other people around me. how do I leave

the "when the awkward ends" thought: is it me? is it what I am wearing? Is it how I was walking? Did I accidentally look at that guy? Hope he doesn't talk to me. Don't talk me.

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>>18099400
I think you need to see a psychiatrist, this isn't a normal thinking process.

>>18099368
Roles reversed, I creepy stalked my current bf all throughout high school because I was completely infatuated with him.

I also fapped to him and fawned over his myspace pictures.

He actually likes that I was rather obsessed with him.


If he did that to me, I think I would like it. However, delivery is everything. I told him about my creepiness when we were in good moods, talking about embarassing moments in the past. And it followed a good laugh. I also have talked to the bf about how at first I thought he was such an unobtainable crush, and how he was so different then how I had imagined he was when I had a crush on him. I don't see him in an obsessive way anymore, rather my closest intimate relationship, my closest friend, my companion.

I think for it to not be creepy, you do have to distinguish that it grew into a much more mature love.

>>18099358
flattered if its a good looking guy, kind of grossed out if it isnt. either way i wouldn't want to be approached though unless it was the right situation.

>>18099414
you want to be approached by me, you just dont know it yet, little baybay

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>>18099414
>>18099400

Okay lets say its pic related, would that be okay? Or is he still a "creep?"

>>18098990
>so what do women actually offer
>x, y, z
>no they don't

What in the world is the point in asking these "questions"?

>>18099073
I love the stomach in general, so it's an eyecatcher there. It is promising/slightly naughty to see the trail of hair disappear underneath his jeans.

Aside from this, at least as someone who also loves pubes, it's like a teaser for the more "feral"/wild aspects of the body. There's something animalistic in seeing tufts of bodyhair.

>>18099125
No personal experience but from looking around in my social circle, none of my friends really seek out casual sex. They are in demand enough that they get by just taking a guy up on his offer. Basically they can go out, have fun and see what happens. If they decide in the spur of the moment that they feel like fucking, there's always someone willing unless they are picky or too shy to ask.

>>18099216
>I have little reason to believe that women have multiple guy friends to have actual friendships
Why? Do you believe that there is no reason to want to be around men if they don't fuck you? Do you believe there is no reason to want to be around women if you don't fuck them? Do you believe that women are incapable of friendship and are always having some other goal in mind?

If the answer to all of the above is no, it's perfectly possible.

Having said that yes she did it to spite you. Especially the way she worded the text makes that blatantly obvious.

>>18099408
Dude, I live in Los Angeles. If a guy checks you out, he's probably a creep or a douchebag. Seeing random women's panties in parking lots and near alleyways is sketch as hell. I'm afraid of getting raped.

If a guy was actually interested in me, I'd like to think he'd say so instead of blowing it by looking at my body. You know what that says to a woman? "Fuck your personality, your ass is tight tho." Not a good first impression. It doesn't play out like a perfect stranger fuck fantasy.

>>18099358
I am flattered/turned on depending on the way he handles it. In my experience the most decent guys tend to get so nervous when they get caught that they instantly act "cold" and look away to seem like they had no interest. That's understandable but I actually like it a whole lot better if they look me in the face. Whether they can pokerface through it (neutral) or give a sheepish/flirty face... it turns me on when I feel like a guy sees me as an attractive woman with a nice body he could potentially (even if just hypothetically if he's happily taken) connect with in a number of ways.
Just getting a crude staring at your breasts before the attention shifts away makes me feel like they don't see me as a person but as a walking set of tits/ass/whatever they were looking at.

I don't care how he looks. My sixty year old coworker who is morbidly obese is really bad about discreetly checking me out and it turns me on. Mostly because of the contrast that he's way too decent to actually say anything unprofessional to me and treats me completely normally, but cannot hide the other kind of perception.
Not trying to imply that every girl gets a sexual thrill out of being ogled but I know for a fact I'm not alone in this either.

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>>18099478

>>18099491
This is assuming men and women never have the same interests or necessarily need to have the those in the first place to get along, rather than also being able to bond over shared humor, experiences and so on.

>>18099491
It might surprise you, but it is possible for men and women to share interests, connect emotionally/intellectually and have genuine friendships.
I agree that most interactions between men and women are driven by the desire to fuck, but not all of them.

That post is always hilarious and true, anyway.

question for girls:
>go on date with girl
>few days later ask her if she'd like to go out again after some time
>first weekend she'd be available she says something came up and she has to go to her hometown again and "some other time"
>next weekend she writes like two combined excuses ending with saying she doesnt have time to go out

I'm fucked right? she's just trying to politely hint to me that she's not interested? I have no ideea if she wants me to keep after her or if my initial feeling is right


am i just being unreasonable and looking too much, should I just take her excuses at face value?

im thinking about not contacting her further, she got that im still interested and the ball is in her court for suggesting a second date day, right?

>>18099508
The ball is definitely in her court but it indeed sounds to me like she's just trying to discourage you. Everything she's doing IS discouraging at least, so if she has a shred of common sense she'll know to make it obvious that she does still want to date you and is still interested but she does not. Take the hint and forget about her, be pleasantly surprised if she does wind up reaching out.

Girls, at what age did you start masturbating?
And if you like the anal stuff, at what age did that start?

>>18099719
First attempts at masturbation I don't exactly recall but I think I was around eleven. Did not work because I had no idea what I was doing physically and was not in tune with sexual stuff psychologically. I literally tried to think of Legolas making sweet love to me with a Hollywood shot of the faces staring into each other's eyes.

This discouraged me for quite some time because it made me feel weird to fail at getting myself off and I was afraid that something was wrong with me. I was seventeen when I started actually masturbating and eighteen when I first made myself climax.

Never really got into doing anal stuff to myself, just putting the showerhead on my anus in the shower sometimes. I fingered my asshole back when I was seventeen/eighteen a couple of times to see what that was like, but found it a tad disappointing.
I love it when a man eats out my ass, though.

>>18099719
>Girls, at what age did you start masturbating?
20 or 21, I don't remember. Probably 20.

>And if you like the anal stuff, at what age did that start?
I never fingered myself. I started doing it with my boyfriend when I was 18.

>>18099719
I had attempted when I was 12. Had no idea what I was doing. Just fingered myself because I didn't know the clitoris was where it's at. Got really discouraged because it wasn't all that satisfying and I also deepdown, felt like a bad person for doing this (pretty sure it was just guilt brought upon me by the way I was raised)

I didn't really attempt it again until I was around 19. It was then I discovered hentai. And for some reason, the hentai stuff so deeply played into sex I was having with my boyfriend. My bf was really sexually weird, and we were experimenting a lot which had me feeling as horny as a catholic school girl.

I embarrassingly enough, looked up how to masturbate online. And went from there. Had my first orgasm through masturbation, and from then on, I masturbate about 1-2 times a week.

I started being more interested in anal around 19 as well when my bf introduced anal play. I like play more than penetration though.

>>18099500
>>18099505
General rule of thumb is "Are you treating them and perceiving them in the same manner as you would a friend of the same gender as you?"

Men and women who are friends clearly have the idea of romance in their heads. It's a biological drive. This doesn't rule out that men and women can be friends and remain strictly friends, but it's so uncommon. It may look like they're friends but odds are bound that one is after the other to some degree.

>>18099794
Obviously you don't perceive them the same way because they aren't, but why's that so bad? I feel some level of sexual attraction for most of my friends, male and female. They are endearing, nice to look at (in my eyes), I want them to have good things in life and we obviously have at least a base line connection.
But I don't actually want to have sex with them. Not just because I think it wouldn't work out, but because when I continue that fantasy beyond the initial flicker of a pull, I just am not interested. It feels weird and off putting to picture myself staring into the eyes of the person I am usually joking around with. I cringe picturing the weird clash of the intensity of the situation and our buddy-buddy relationship. And this is still assuming it's "good" sex that works out well, not sex where I get turned off mid-way through for whatever reason.

Likewise, I am pretty sure that my male friends don't think I'm too ugly to fuck in theory. But girls they want to fuck are bountiful and someone you've been solid friends with for ten years is not. Likewise for me. That you don't gag at the thought of being sexual with a friend of yours is not remotely the same as actively desiring them sexually.

>>18099728
wow, that's pretty late

>>18099812
Some women never masturbate to begin with.

>>18099794
It's not so uncommon, actually.
It's rare to not be attracted to someone at all, I think most of my friends are somewhat fuckable, and I think they feel the same for me. And it's fine.

But I don't burn in desire to fuck them, and they don't either. We act like friends around each other. I never felt any sexual arousal around them, and they never made a move or flirted with me.
I would enjoy being their friend if they were girls, and I hope they'd be my friends if I was a dude.

>>18099812
I lost my virginity when I was 15 and had sex with my boyfriend 2/3 times a week since. I never needed to masturbate because I was having sex.

When he moved abroad I started masturbating, then kept doing it when he got home.

>>18099185

The oldest lion isn't always the one that leads the pride.

>Have a night out yesterday
>Having fun and feeling relaxed
>Switch bars with my friend to where his gf and the hf's friends are
>my tormentors of my past life are there too
>Have to interact with them
>Some girl tells me that one of the faggots has been talking shit about me even though I haven't spoken to the cunt since he was thrown out of the military for being a fucking cunt theee years ago
>Start to tense up, get annoyed and angry for having to deal with people I absolutely detest and hate
>End up ruining the night for the couple of friends I was with for being a moody retard
>My friend's gf asks if it's because her friend was somewhere getting chased by a horde of guys
>Tell her it has nothing to do with my mood
>"Okay..."
>Fuck off from the bar
>Now she probably thinks I'm a petty cunt who gets angry when his interest fucks off and lies about his emotions

All in all very successful evening. How do I unfuck this?

>>18099857
Tell your friend what actually set you off if you can't muster to tell his girlfriend, he'll pass on the message for you.

Also, I completely understand how you feel, nothing fucks up my day like seeing old bullies and having them look at me with contempt. Like I'm eight years old again, even though rationally I think they are the pathetic ones for clinging to that stuff now that we're all older and our lives have grown apart anyway.

>>18099885
Yeah, it's fucking horrible. I try to calm myself in these situations by telling myself that by all accounts they are far below me. They should not affect me like they once did 10 years ago, but it rarely helps. It's incredible to me how they can still keep it up even after all these years. Only ONE of them has ever apologized and he was the dude who didn't even take part in the shit that wrecked my self-confidence, sense of self-worth, self-esteem and probably a couple of other "self-" things for a very logn time. He just didn't intervene which made him feel guilty.

What didn't exactly help my mood was that the whole reason why I got shit incessantly was also in the bar.

I'll talk to my friend's gf when I get the chance. I don't think she has ever seen me as angry and frustrated as I was yesternight.

>>18099933
Sorry to hear that. I have not find any trick/solution either. I just try to let it go as quickly as possible and waste limited energy on it. Tell myself they don't deserve that power over me.

If his girlfriend is even a somewhat decent girls he will be able to see why it affected you so much. Even people who never were bullied have people they don't want to run into again, let alone for them to run their mouth and talk shit about them.

Girls, How do you see it when a guy is not overly physically assertive/ free of anxiety?

I'm a virgin. I used to have an easy time talking to girls and just chilling around them, which lead to fun convos but nothing more even when the girls eventually started to try to get me to make a move which I never did.

Now I read some stuff about how you need to be physical and sexual right away if you want to get a girl to fuck yo without any relationship bullshit, but I have no idea how.

Do you automaticaly tink a guy is a pussy without balls if he's hesitant about approaching and making moves on you?

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>>18099857
>tfw you man'd up, fought back against your bullies but were not a cunt about it and now you're on good terms with them and they respect you and you respect them

>>18099957
To be completely frank, I would not think less of him as much as I would think he did not like me a lot. Realize that girls are used to guys into them doing stuff like watch their mouth while talking, subtly look at their body, sit close enough for their knees to touch and so on. If you keep your physical distance she's more likely to think that you don't care that much than that you're shy. People have the habit of interpreting stuff according to their own experience and not give enough credit to the possibility that it's a new situation.

Obviously though, you can try to compensate by verbalizing what you like about them, being eager to meet up and so on.

>>18099959
That's cool it worked that way for you. I will never respect nor forgive them until they own to their asshole-ness, which they are apparently incapable of doing even in their 20s.

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I want to start dating, but I don't have very many friends and I'm autistic around women, despite my good looks. What should I do?

>>18100017
Get more practice, talk to women more. Sisters/girlfriends/mothers of your friends, strangers, everything works. Try to get enough experience to get a general feel for how to approach different ones. You can also get a job in a female dominated environment or join a female dominated hobby if you really have no access to women.

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Posting this again because I got useful advice last time
>meet girl
>literally dream girl
>got dumped by her bf
>we hook up
>we fall hard for each other
>we are near starting to date
>she is very dependent
>has trouble saying no
>cares more about other people feel and think than what she thinks and feels
>her bf says he wants her back
>she says she felt for my dick and is in love with me
>but now she is confused
>says it's 50/50 but she is leaning towards me, but as he was also her friend she is very afraid of dumping him because he is a turbo lone nerd that plays emotional games with her
>now chat and talk has died out because we are very busy, when she asks me out I can't and when I do she can't which seems like we are avoiding each other

I gave her lots of space to think and decide because I was 100% willing to try things with her, but after a couple weeks and now the lack of contact I'm getting genuinely confused. I know women, and specially her, are frequently indecisive but this indecision is starting to contaminate me. Could anyone give me some advice.

>>18100068
Not worth it. Even if she "chooses" you, there will always be that air of uncertainty.

To both.

So my girlfriend's family is full of crazy religious nuts who would "break my legs" if they knew I existed (one threatened to do that to her male friends for talking to her).
This has made activities pretty much horrible to go through because of the lies we have to invent for her, and the fear of being seen. (They call to know where she is, with who, that kinda stuff). I once spent a week-end at her apartment and she spent an evening freaking out because someone knocked at the door and she thought it was them.

So now to my issue. She recently complained that I never propose any outings, and we never leave my house. (it was a backhand comment in the middle of another discussion about me going to the movies alone that one time).
I replied that considering the paranoia and fear it requires, it's not worth it.

Since then she's been mad at me. Unwilling to explain why. Because she doesn't want to have to "explain herself", and I should be figuring it out by myself.

Today I managed to have her say she told me about it before ("it" being whatever I did wrong) and I haven't changed my ways. Thing is I still don't know what it is.

What do you recommend?

>>18100142
I should point out that when I went to the movies, she was at her mother's house, not at mine.

Why are women so obsessed with gay guys?

>>18100178
No fucking idea but I'm 100% straight and my girl likes that I cross my legs like women do. Maybe it's something in the water

Will I ever be able to pleasure a woman? Most women say they could care less about penetration, but I've heard from others that they love being "filled up". I have a smaller than normal penis.

I dunno women seem to have it easier than men in this regard. I'm afraid I will never feel like a man knowing there are 14 year olds packing more heat than I am.

>>18100178
Not a girl, but a gf once told me that girls like that because she is because she says she likes to hang out with guys more than with girls, and with a gay guy she doesn´t have to worry about said guy wanting to sleep with her.

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>>18100205

>>18100212
what are you implying by posting that comic?

>>18100212
We need an edit of this, but about boobs.

>>18100215
wouldnt have the same effect

>>18100215
Boobs aren't the same since there's always a someone who prefers smaller tits to huge ones. It isn't the same case at all as with dicks.

Or have you actually heard of a girl who says she prefers smaller cocks?

>>18100221
>Or have you actually heard of a girl who says she prefers smaller cocks?

Only women with unnusually tight pussies, but they are, well, unnusual.

Still, that comic is wrong because bigger is not always better since it can get to a point when it makes sex more painful than pleasuring.

>>18100221
Most women prefer average sized cocks. Some women like small dicks too.

>>18100231
>tfw in the 99th percentile sizewise

>>18100212

I see. Thanks I guess.

>>18100236
Oh big dicks got their fans too, no worries.

Most women want something slightly over average (5-6.5 inches is like the preferred size indicated by most girls).

>>18100221
It's not that, it's that boobs don't have any functional influence in sex.

>>18100277
So a better one would be two men discussing the virtues of innies > outties?

>>18100311
I think tight vaginas vs loose vaginas is a better example.

>>18100314
Kegels can fix a vagina that is too loose, no? I heard that's what recent mothers do to make their pussies come back to normal.

sexless virgin here
never even had a gf
how badly can a guy screw up his first time? i kind of dread having sex for the 1st time....

Would it be weird if I messaged an old friend of mine out of the blue? We graduated high school together about 4 years ago. Would it be weird to message her out of the blue to ask her how she's doing?

>>18100378
It's going to be awful and the girl will laugh at your expense with her friends.

So I think I have fallen into the "too available" trap and may be getting strung a long. I am currently looking and applying for new jobs but my two current jobs offer me low hours. Which means I have plenty of free time. I do have hobbies like drawing, lifting and a few others but they don't take up much time. I am also studying for a few certs. But like I said I still have plenty of free time.

So my issue is with this girl. We went on four dates within 10 days. Looking back that was quite a bit. The last date (11 days ago) we made out hard however my mother came home and she got nervous. Girl told me she would be free next Monday and she was going to be busy. Called her Sunday and asked if she was still up for X. She said she might have to work and to call her back tomorrow around X. So I did and she ended up having to work. Told me she would be Friday. So I called Friday and we talked for a good 20 mins and she said she would be free but extremely tired and hasn't slept but 3 hours in two days. Which makes sense because I used to work for her job and they completely fuck you with hours + she has another job as well. So today I called her and said we should go see a movie and she told me, "Sorry I need to sleep and I don't feel too well, would Monday night work?" And I said sure.

This will probably be my last chance for her. I will see her in person tomorrow. Should I just ask her straight up if she is even into me? Because I'd love to move things forwards but i if she isn't feeling it she needs to tell me. I mean I feel if she wasn't interested she wouldn't bothering answering my calls.

I commute (carpool) an hour to get to my college every week day, and stuck there till around 4. I'm never there on the weekends, though I may be able to go up there once every other weekend if I wanted to. Is it possible for me to have a relationship?

Girls, I am going to try to date a girl for the first time, should I make my intentions (wanting a potential relationship) clear from the begining or should I just start friendly and scalate things depending on how well we get along?

>>18100404
Yes, why not?

You don't have a super busy life or anything, you have all the time you want to hang out with people if you want.

>>18100408
if you ask her out, make sure she knows it's a "date"

don't do this pretending to be friends thing and then get butthurt if she "friendzones" you later because it will be 100% your fault

>>18100416
I just feel like the few hours I'm there wouldn't be enough, and that's not counting times where she has class and I don't, and vice versa.

Girls,

I had a thing with one of the girls in my group of friends before she had a boyfriend, we hooked up a few times thats basically it. I probably could have had her but I was young and fairly shy at the age so I basically missed out. She's in my group of friends so I see her a lot, we all go camping and stuff and have gatherings at friend's places.

Like a year in to her relationship we kissed and it's kind of just kept going, every gathering or whatever we'll end up sleeping in the same bed or hooking up. I think to her I'm just someone to be with that isn't her boyfriend and that she knows really well. I know she still has feelings for me but I know we need to stop doing this. It would be hard to just cut her out of my life as I'd basically have to cut my closest group of friends too. I'm not sure what to do and I don't think I can just stop liking her in an instant, she's gorgeous and I'm really in to her.

>>18100424
Why?

If you have a relationship with someone who lives in campus, you can sleep over sometimes if she lives nearby college, she can come over to your place, whatever. It's not like you need to see each other 30 hours a day to be together. During the week I see my boyfriend 1-2 hours a day and we live together.

Girls,

I was dating a girl about a year ago, she'd just come out of a long term relationship so she wasn't eager to jump straight back in to one which was fine. We hung out a bunch and we both really enjoyed each others company like it was just fun. She told me she was going overseas for a week by herself but I found out she went with her ex boyfriend, I don't know if she just didn't tell me because she didn't want me to get jealous but I would have been fine with it because I know they're still friends. I basically just stopped talking to her, I didn't want to have drama and stuff since we weren't serious so I never told her that I knew about her and her boyfriend's trip, she just thinks I stopped talking to her.

Well it's been a year since then and I kind of just miss hanging out with her, I still see her at friends parties and stuff. Next time I see her I at a party or whatever I'm going to ask her if she wants to hang out again, she's likely to ask why I stopped talking to her in the first place. Should I tell her the truth or what? I just don't want drama, I just find it so unnecessary.

>>18099003
>>18099019
It's kind of priceless in the sense it's signed by one of her favourite artists. So yeah I think I'll wait.

>>18100439
If she cheats on her bf, she'll cheat on you if you become her bf. Keep it on a hookup basis, and if you can't go cold turkey.

>>18100387
>Should I just ask her straight up if she is even into me? Because I'd love to move things forwards but i if she isn't feeling it she needs to tell me.
Probably not because it doesn't sound like a lack of interest at this point but rather circumstances that are normal like being busy from time to time and the fact that you're basically looking for a date or to hang out every other day. Just give it a little time and relax for a moment on constantly trying to hang out. It sounds less to do with availability and more to do with seeing her too often.

>>18100450
I'm probably just overthinking it then. I already feel pretty busy, especially compared to other kids who live on campus.

>>18100380
Well?

>>18100494
I mean it is coming up on two weeks soon. Other than her working from what she told me she is pretty much a loner. After realizing that we saw each other too much too soon I backed off a little. It's not like I'm calling her every day to try and go out.

>>18100473
Was it the supposed dishonesty that upset you? It sounds like it cause you said it was something that you would have been fine with if she'd told you. Still I don't see the logic in that, you didn't want "drama" which basically means talking for a second so you basically just vanished?

I guess if you want to be friends you might as well talk to her, she probably will be curious about why you stopped talking to her so you might as well be honest with her this time or it's probably not even worth it at all.

Is masturbating to imagination/erotic stories less bad than watching porn?

>>18100534
That's fine then I'd say give it a bit more time, especially if it's really a circumstantial thing since you did cram a lot of what sounds like successful dates into a short time. If you start noticing a pattern of her not making time for you though and it becomes pernicious then you might want to make your next move.

All I'm saying is it might be just a little early to tell.

>>18100551
Watching porn is bad?

>>18100563
I guess so, it desensitizes you.

>>18098968
Hey women.(though I now realize this is applicable to any gender) Which is more attractive for a male(or potential partner) from your point of view:

1) Being passionate about a particular, or a handful of subjects and hobbies that you don't know much about, or have little to no interest in.

2) Being moderately versed in a handful of subjects and hobbies that you are passionate about or interested in.

Also, does your perception of what the opposite sex, or potential partner, is supposed to be like conflict with what they are actually like?

I feel like there is no in-between. Please prove me wrong.

>>18100563
ofc it is! by watching porn you support its disgusting industry

>>18100593
my boyfriend is liberal (not american liberal, the normal liberal) and I'm a Leninist. go figure

>>18100597
I don't speak politics. Care to translate it so that I can comprehend the differences? I am mildly potato.

>>18100602
I'm Leninist-marxist and he is freeduns, little government etc

to girls: I was recently on a first date, it was at a hookah bar cuz she said she always wanted to try hookah. Was quiet enough to talk and we talked all night, we put at 10pm and the next thing we both know the lights are coming on at 2am. Both of us were surprised since we had amazing conversations. The whole time she didn't even look at her phone or even look bored. I walk her to her car and I go in for a quick kiss on the lips, she didn't seem to mind.

We text for a few days and when I suggest that I take her out to a nice dinner the next week she says I dont think we had a connection. I was pissed so I politely pressed her on the issue and she says "I dont think there was a sexual connection". What the hell does that mean? How could you know if there was or wasn't before actually doing anything with each other. I even kissed her so it wouldn't seem like we were just friends going out at the end of the date, does anyone know what she was talking about?

>>18100540

I only know now that they're friends really, I assumed at the time that they were going to get back together or that she still had a thing for him because she told me she didn't want anything serious. I've had someone do that in the past so I just thought the best thing to do was to cut contact.

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If I catch a bitch looking at me quite a bit is she into it? She is very quiet. She sits in front of me in a class and seems to listen to my conversations almost daily, like she doesn't think I know. I catch her her looking back slightly and glancing at me a couple times a day too in that class. How do I approach this?

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>>18100597
>I'm a Leninist

>>18100632
maybe you just look weird

>>18100605
Ahh. And when you met/got together did you feel like there would be conflicts because of this? Are you both interesting in politics in some way or form?

>>18100610
i think she just wanted to have sex with you and you're too cute for her

>>18100631
If you were still dating this girl at the time I can see why that would be a bit eyebrow raising for her to take a trip with an ex she was friends with and lie to you by telling you she was going alone. If you found out the truth in a honest way I still think it would have been better to try to talk about that as long as you hadn't called off the dating thing yet, but that doesn't matter much anymore.

Like I said though if you do want to get back in touch with her for whatever reason she's almost certainly going to wonder why you just stopped talking to her out of nowhere, even if she has an idea why. And if it's worth her being in your life in any way whatsoever you might as well not start over with a lie. When she asks just tell her what the deal was.

>>18100647
>interest
Yep. He went to a few protests with me, helped me when I got fucking pepper sprayed and got hit by those concussion grenades fragment things etc. He does not go to the ones he agree of course. We both really don't care much for the grand scheme of things, we just want a better city, decent administration for the university and so on.
>conflict
Yes I was afraid of it, but he showed me it was a very stupid thing to stop liking someone because of politics. Although we agreed that if one of us was a trump supporter (Or their national copies here) we would commit suicide.

>>18100648
....what? Why would she have said I dont think we had a sexual connection if she wanted to have sex with me?

>>18100594
What if I only watch amateur porn?

>>18100594
dont body shame people! you disgust me. they're people too.

>>18100654
Illuminating.

>>18100655
it depends on what kind of conversation you've had, having a sexual connection for women includes conversations and body language.
Or/and maybe she was expecting you to do more than just kiss her, and when you asked her for a nice dinner she thought of you as a nice guy.
Try to ask her out again to a place where you'd have less talk

>>18100702
we talked about a very wide range of things. As for body language, that's probably what did it. I can be fidgety and she probably noticed that. I didn't use the words "nice dinner" but she probably thought the same thing. I never understand expect more than kiss her, its a first date, how further could I possibly go at her car? But thank you, this advice was helpful I'l try to show more confident body language if I can

>>18100687
well, as a girl, theres a few stuff i dont like in some guys and stuff i hate and wont accept. i hate porn, its disgusting, and if i know a guy watches it, we'll never have anything besides "friends".

>>18100749
What's it like to have never dated anyone except mormons?

>>18100749
Is there a legitimate reason you are disgusted by it or is it just "womyn arent objects!!111!!" and that kind of shit?

>>18100749
I'm sorry to have to be the one to break this to you......but every guy watches porn. EVERY. SINGLE. GUY. the only difference is how often and how weird

>>18100749
you probably dont date much im guessing.

p.s women watch it too, so going lesbian aint much of an option for you either

>>18100755
i used to think like you, that every guy does that. then i realized that they're a few awesome guys who dont need porn/sex to be happy. most of them are christian, but some are just conscientious. i admire them a lot

>>18100761
>i used to think like you, that every guy does that. then i realized that they're a few awesome guys who dont need porn/sex to be happy. most of them are christian, but some are just conscientious. i admire them a lot

>>18100770
also, im dating one of them

>>18100594
>slutshaming on the internet

How rude.

Been seeing a guy, he's confessed he's into girls "dominating" or hate-fucking kind of thing, fighting over who has control, if not, just being used like a toy. I've also said I've done similar stuff in the past. Thing is, I have a very dark side and I can go so far, so guys, if you happened to be into this kind of stuff, what's something you'd really want her to do to you, or, how far would you let it go?

>>18100770
Have you considered they lied? Because aside from ultra Christians or asexuals, it's every guy.

>>18100770
i like you you skipped the question about you're reasons for being disgusted which makes me assume you've got some past trauma going on or a religious background.

>>18100777
Any answer you're likely to get here is irrelevant to your specific situation. Pick a safe-word, respect the safe-word and go nuts.

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>>18100770
>she believed a guy when he said he doesnt watch porn and never has

>>18100777
How dark are we talking? Some examples would be helpful.

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>>18100770
>then i realized that they're a few awesome guys who dont need porn/sex to be happy
I'm sorry missy, but I believe they may have lied

>>18100779
well i answered the person who asked me about how is to date mormons.

i do have a little trauma about guys addicted to porn, and im christian as well. so, if the guy is not christian i wouldnt judge him, but most of them here where i live are, and thats hypocrisy to be christian and watch porn.

>>18100770
>they're a few awesome guys who dont need porn/sex to be happy. most of them are christian, but some are just conscientious

Kek, I've lied about never watching any and objecting. I just hide all my fap shit when they come over.

>>18100797
if you lie about this to your girlfriend u got a bigger problem on ur relationship.

>>18100796
I think you are on the right path.

>>18100804
I don't need to, she doesn't give a shit at all and does it herself. But I lied to prudish girls and moral types in the past about it. Curiously they were into really weird shit so the no porn thing caused some kind of repression for them I think.

>>18100796
>so, if the guy is not christian i wouldnt judge him, but most of them here where i live are, and thats hypocrisy to be christian and watch porn.

Okay, that makes a little more sense then. A Christian looking and porn and all that is major hypocrisy and is disgusting for those reasons.

But porn isn't disgusting and people that watch it aren't either, so ease back on the judgement a little.

>>18100593
I'm fine with either really. Though I suppose it would be nicer to have something we could share regardless of passion level.
>Also, does your perception of what the opposite sex, or potential partner, is supposed to be like conflict with what they are actually like?
kek yeah, I want a confident dominant man (That also is looking for more than just casual sex) but seems like those are a rare breed (unicorn) anymore lol.

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>>18100749
>Everyone taking this bait.

>>18100789
My boyfriend doesn't watch porn. He never found it arousing.
He rarely masturbates (not even once last year, twice before that) and, if he does, it's to our stuff and not to porn. Then he has a low-ish libido and we fuck all the time.

I have zero problems with it and watch loads of porn.
I even got mad at him because I thought he was lying, but he really doesn't enjoy it.

Do women expect men to constantly lead the conversation? It feels like my girlfriend just constantly is passive when we talk and is waiting for me to start topics and lead the conversation. It's a bit tiring especially when I don't really have anything on my mind to talk about.

>>18100378
Going into it with insecurity and the idea of "I know for a fact I will be awful there is no possible way for me to be good and therefore I won't even try" will yes, give her a bad time.

Going into it with confidence and the understanding of "Everyone is different, inexperience does not inherently make me bad, and so long as I communicate with her properly I will show her a good time because I believe in myself"
You'll have a good time.

All else fails, make sure you talk with her during. Find out what she likes, what she doesn't. No this isn't awkward like you're thinking it is, it's a normal part of sex that even the most experienced dudes do. It can be pretty sexy too, think of it like dirty talk.
"You like that baby?" "Tell me where you want it"

>>18100818
That actually sounds like symptoms of low testosterone so he might actually need a testosterone test. Yes it's a real thing and yes it's serious.

>>18100820
I personally don't.

I actually wish my boyfriend could shut the fuck up sometimes and let me talk.

>>18100820
Some do, yeah. Then again, the opposite can be true.

>>18100820
Some do some don't. Also might not be so much of an expectation as it is a preference. Depends on her type, seems like your gf is more of a sub.
Try talking to her about it.

>>18100807
>>18100811
i only said i wouldnt have anything besides friends with guys who watch porn
if you dont think its disgusting good for you, just saying that there are girls and guys who give shit about morals, so that old excuse "every guy does that" isnt legit

>>18100824
He has low-ish testosterone but nothing clinically relevant.

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>>18100830
>there are girls and guys who give shit about morals
My sides

>>18100830
>morals
I think you'll have trouble having even just friends that aren't Christian weirdos with such a holier than thou attitude like that.

>>18100830
>letting adults do what they want with their own bodies is immoral

your religiosity is showing

>>18100830
Would you have female friends that watch porn or are they disgusting to you too?

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>>18100830
>"so that old excuse "every guy does that" isnt legit"
>she still believes no guy has ever lied to her about watching porn

>>18100834
i actually have zero trouble about that, my bf is a " wierdo" like me, we have friends who are not and thats fine. you guys talk like watching porn is a human need. there was even a guy who said that not liking it was a serious thing (>>18100824) like, wtf

>>18100844
well, not getting aroused seeing two attractive people fucking is unnatural

>>18100844
Those people are brainwashed by the Jews, forget about them.

>>18100844
No, you misunderstood that testosterone post. It's more about his incredibly low libido and non existent masturbating.

Also male masturbating is very necessary, not doing it often enough can actually increase the chance of prostate cancer and it's recommended that guy does it once a week. So in a way, it is a human need to jack off since it's healthy.

>>18100850
... u wouldnt do that to ur parents. i dont get aroused cuz sex for me is mixed with love, if there are guys like this they are unnatural?

>>18100862
yes, and I think you're deluding yourself to be honest

>>18100859
It's NOT a human need to watch internet porn.

>>18100862
>i dont get aroused cuz sex for me is mixed with love, if there are guys like this they are unnatural?

Guys can do both. I love sex with my gf since it's mixed with feelings but I also fap because it feels good and it's fun. Honestly you're the unnatural one here, you're repressing your basic human urges and it's resulted in resentment and disgust.

I bet you also sometimes get horny by some other cause that isn't your boyfriend and you hate yourself and feel guilty for having just sexual desires that aren't "mixed with love".

How do you deal with a girlfriend that's a bit sexist? I constantly feel like I'm being judged and thought less of because I might happen to do something/like something she considers unmanly and it's definitely harming our relationship. She occasionally gets upset with me because I didn't do some arbitrary thing she feels the guy should do.

>>18100875
I still don't understand what you have against porn.

>>18100867
i dont think so. Also, im happy this way, unlike most of porn-addicted guys

>>18100883
Give examples because right now I'm just assuming she is right and you are an unmanly fag

>>18100875
Did I say porn? No I fucking didn't, I said masturbating is a human need dingus. Read it again.

>>18100859
I never said my boyfriend has an incredibly low libido... We have sex 4-8 times a week.
He just has a lower libido than me and I am more than happy to get him off whenever he's aroused. So he rarely had the chance.

>>18100889
>resents nearly half of all people
>happy

>>18100894
do you resent every girl who u wouldnt date?

>>18100889
There is a difference between someone who uses porn and someone addicted to porn.
It's like saying that drinking a glass of wine at dinner makes me a alcoholic or that I'm a junkie for taking painkillers when I'm prescribed them.

>>18100892
I understand that, but that doesn't imply porn, people have been masturbating using nothing for thousands of years.

>>18100888
Porn is a symptom of a bigger problem, of people choosing to stay inside and live their lives in virtual worlds instead of building genuine connections.
http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2007/04/a_quick_word_on_porns_effect_o.html

>>18100889
>porn-addicted guys
Guys aren't addicted to it retard. If we get aroused or just feel like jacking it, we watch some and then that's it. We also don't need it every time we jack it. You've really built all this up in your head haven't you?

Do any of you find that you crave more human interaction the more of it you have? Like building up a tolerance to a drug?

I used to be a complete shut-in but have taken great effort to become more normal and healthier (full time job, less time on chans, working out, working on social skills etc) and have been going out a few times a week now for quite a while. This weekend though I am sick and can't go out and am now feeling unbelievably lonely. I used to never go out on weekends at all and now I don't go out once and feel lonely? Is this what being a normie is like?

>>18100903
i really meant porn-addicted guys are mostly unhappy, not guys who watch porn often or guys who often masturbate

Are movie dates always a shitty idea? I hear so because you don't get to know them much but what if I've been friends with the girl for a few weeks? We're both movie fanatics so seeing a film seems natural. I'd figure we would discuss what we saw over some ice cream afterwards.

>>18100891
>gets angry because I let her get on train first after she rushed ahead of me and "the guy should get on first"
>got annoyed at me because I like flowers
>said I wasn't a man because I can't cook well

Etc

>>18100902
>I understand that, but that doesn't imply porn, people have been masturbating using nothing for thousands of years.
Exactly. Ancient porn also exists, so it's been around just as long as masturbating has.

Video games, gambling, drinking etc also lead to the same result of people staying inside and living in virtual worlds. Porn is just another one on the list.

>>18100914
Never as easily accessible and ubiquitous as internet porn.

>>18100909
I haven't reached that level yet, but I was a shut-in NEET for 5 years due to Social Anxiety Disorder and started going to college last fall. I definitely feel like when I don't have any interaction with people my age after awhile. In fact, my spring break just started and I know I'm going to feel pretty crappy towards the end of this week, maybe even a little anxious.

>>18100913
Sounds like she's just a cunt. Men are supposed to let women go through doors first, men can like flowers (it's a little gay but no big deal) and since when are men supposed to be able to cook? If she's so into gender roles tell her that cooking is her job

>>18100914
Also, two wrong don't make a right, those other things don't justify porn use.

>>18100910
You do know it's a very very small amount of people addicted to porn right? People are more likely to get addicted to video games than porn. Also anyone with any addiction is unhappy, it's not localized to what the addiction is.

>Male, 5'7"
How fucked am I?

>>18100924
Might as well turn gay at that point.

>>18100924
HAHAHAHAH

>>18100899
What are you talking about?
>>18100902
>http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2007/04/a_quick_word_on_porns_effect_o.html
This is nothing but assertions without basis in fact.

>>18100922
>Also anyone with any addiction is unhappy, it's not localized to what the addiction is.

this

>>18100924
Not at all.

No one cares about your height unless you're a midget. The whole manlet meme is a /fit/ meme. Don't take it seriously

>>18100924
>Preferences differ but complexes are always a turn off

>>18100911
I think the thing is it's a terrible idea for like a first, second or third date, but beyond that go for it. movies are fun

>>18100924
Tom Cruise, Joe Rogan, Floyd Mayweather and Mark Hamill are all 5'7" too

So you'll be fine if you are incredibly talented/lucky

>>18100928
You can't deal with those matters via empiricism, if you are unable to see why then I'm sorry but I have a shit to take.

>>18100924
If you make that an issue and downplay your own likability then that will hold you back but it'll be because of your confidence and self-esteem, not your height.

>resents nearly half of all people -idk where u got this
>happy
>>18100928

>>18100911
Movies are just bad first or second dates because you will be sitting in silence with someone you barely know for over an hour

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RIP this thread, all these faggots took the b8 lol.

>>18100939
my point is the author is basically making shit up and throwing very bold generalizations around. I wouldn't take it seriously if I agreed with it

Ladies, when you take a big fat juicy cock up your hot vagina is the cock also hot? Or is it like a cold cock because your vagina is so much hotter?

>>18100958
Most 'scientific' studies are just throwing bold generalizations around as well.
http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2011/11/white_people_think_black_peopl.html

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>>18098968

Question for the girls:

Have you ever had one guy who just wouldn't give up? Like no matter how much you ghosted him,ignored him and tried your hardest to let him down 'nicely' with stuff like "It's not you it's me" or "I have a boyfriend now" he wouldn't give up?

How did you ultimately get rid of him? And how did that guy influence your future (potential) relationships? Did you just ghost people harder or did you just drop any pretense of being nice about it and just said flat out you don't want to be with them?

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>>18100987
>linking to garbage from the same site as the other garbage

>>18100999
Send him a cease and desist order and possibly get a restraining order because at that point it's just stalking.

Now I've never had to go that far personally, but I did get a clinger who I went on one date with, decided I wasnt interested (mostly because he was so obviously insecure and a nutjob about it). Tried doing it the nice way, telling him "Thanks but I think I'm after something different" dude pushed harder and harder, insisting to know what he should "change" himself into in order to win me, which just creeped me out, and eventually had to just say
"Look man. I'm done. I do not like you, and will not ever like you. I won't change my mind, you're bothering me now. Please move on."

Blocked him on everything and never heard from him again. But if he had pushed any further at all I would have taken legal action.

Didn't really change me much, except for the fact that I stay away from online dating like the plague now. But that wasn't just him, it was a number of super insecure dudes and I just realized online dating collects these types of people for a reason.
I still go through the same rejection process though:
>Turn down the nice way
>Ghost
>Turn down the blunt/rude way
>Seek legal action

>>18101001
I have nothing else to say if you aren't gonna read and dismiss it rightaway.

Gender
Do you like to 69?
Why or why not?

>>18101032
I think I would, in theory, but mostly just because I think I would love for any dude to be willing to go down because shit I've never had the luck to meet one.

Guy here.
How fucked am I if I don't have a car?
I can't drive due to an eye disease, and live in a relatively smaller town, so basically I have to walk or depend on rides to get around anywhere.
I want to move to NYC for a multitude of reasons (one of them being that not being able to drive won't be as much of an issue) but I won't be able to do that for about a year and a half still.

>>18101032
sure, it's cool. you make somebody happy and they make you as well, in the very same moment. Though I would mostly prefer to just take turns

>>18101032
male
yes
I generally like eating pussy, so if i can get head at the same damn time then its a win all around. pretty simple concept desu

>>18100987
the other dude is right tho. the site you are refferring to is simply full of pretensional bullshit, nothing more. I chcecked before with a different article

>>18101085
Well, like having any disability that keeps you from doing borderline necessary things in life, it is going to set you back.

But having a genuine reason why you cant drive is at least better than can't be assed to learn/pay for a car or too scared to or something.
Your dating pool is probably smaller, but not nonexistent.

Ladies with boyfriends, where did your current boyfriend take you on your first date?

I can only trust a girl if I have had sex with her.

>>18101113
I don't remember, it was something like 3 years ago now

Girls and guys

So, I met up with a long time female pen pal that I've had. We spent just 2 days together but had a great time. On the last day, we had an intimate moment and we started kissing in a park. Ended up going to her place and had pretty intimate sex. It was a great experience mutually.

Anyways, now that I'm back home. My close friends of course asked me all about my vacation. However, I never told them about this event. They kept asking me if I fucked any girls (they think I am a virgin). They were disappointed, because I'm 27 and they think I'm a virgin still and keep trying to encourage me to do something about it. Well I was a virgin until I did it with my pen pal. I sort of feel guilty i didn't tell my friends, since my friends are pretty open to me about their sexual adventures. But I just didn't feel like telling them. Like I said, these are close friends, I've known this group of friends for 15 years.

Am I a bad friend?

>>18101200
You're not a bad friend. I didn't tell my friends when I lost my virginity either because it's really none of their business.

>like girl
>invite her to wine tasting event
>kiss her later in my room
>talk for a bit
>says she's not sure if she wants to date or not, ask again when she's sober
>next day says that she has to think about it because of graduation and some other dude she used to hook up with

wat do? I can't read American women for shit.
At least I did go for the kiss, which I'm proud of.

>>18101204

I dunno. My friends are really open and always talk about stuff like that. So I sort of feel bad because they are always trying to encourage me to do it, and I'm technically lying to them.

>>18101206

>I can't read American women for shit.

Lol, that's because American women ARE shit

>>18101207
Well that is where we differ, because only one of my friends really talks about sex to begin with. Idk, if you're lying by omission then I don't think there's an issue, but if you're expressly told them that you didn't have sex while you were away then that's more of an issue.

In the end though, I still think it's none of their business and that you shouldn't have to tell them if you don't want to or don't feel comfortable doing so

>>18101200
No, that's just ridiculous. If you don't feel like telling them about your sex life then you don't have to.

Also, congratulations.

>>18101210
Maybe, but that doesn't really help me here.

>>18101206
Why would you want to be with a girl who's not going to wholeheartedly say yes when you ask her to date?

>>18101213

I dunno, I feel conflicted.. I feel like they'll be upset if they find out later on. Because it's like a bonding or trust thing. they are open and discuss their flings, but if I choose not to, then it's as if I don't trust them, but it has nothing to do that. I do trust them. But just for some reason, I want to keep this to myself. But I can't play the virgin card forever. I feel conflicted.

And yes, I told them I didn't have sex with any girls.

>>18101223
Because I gave up jerking off for lent, I'm horny, and this is probably my best shot at getting laid soon

>>18101226
You don't need to date her to have sex with her.

>>18101219

Avoid American women. Seriously. They are not worth it, there are better women elsewhere in the world.

>>18101227
True, now how do I explain that to her?

>>18101228
Until I go back home, I'm gonna have to deal with what I have.

>>18101231

What country are you from?

Also, don't even waste your time here man. I'm American, and I don't waste my time on these dumb whores.

>>18101239
Spain, going to college in the US and hopefully getting a job and working for 10 years to gain capital before going back to Spain.
I'd agree with not bothering, but I am surrounded by an abundance of American girls on campus.
And I don't like Mexicans.

What are the con's of marrying for money if I'm a guy?

Im a software dev, I have a college degree and don't have money problems. My parents are upper middle class people with no money problems.

I see some people my age are married, even though I think sub 30 is young to be married.

Im good looking, fit, have hobbies, and people like me.

I don't see myself loving a girl and I don't want kids. A lot of girls sleep around and are into bbc. I could never love a girl like that and I'm not sexually interested in them. Our marriage bed will probably be dead. Frankly I don't care all that much if she cheats.

Some will say find a girl you like, not going to happen. It's just not. In the next 2-3 years I might try to marry. I will sign a pre-nup and so will she.

>>18101251

They are still not worth the time. Just get a Spanish girl from home. Have her visit you in the US. Spanish girls are not only way better looking than American slags. But they are probably more intelligent too.

>>18101263
bruh
you know how much a flight to Spain is? I can't afford that shit.
I want to date an American girl for fun while I'm still in college, not for marriage. Definitely getting a girl from back home for that.

>>18101261

So.. after all of what you posted.

Why even waste your time getting married? You'll just be miserable. Stay single, save yourself from a bad headache

>>18101271

I'm going to France in June, only $700 RT. Not bad at all.

>dating American girl for fun

What is fun about that??

>>18101272
I don't want to be the one who isn't married and has to show up to events alone.

How will I be miserable, she can do her things and I'll play golf. When we go on vacation we can get a nice hotel and shit, she can do what she wants and i'll do me.

We look like a couple and split expenses.

How hard is it to get laid in college as a male? Without dating.

This is primarily directed at males but whatever

>>18101283

lol you're not thinking clearly.

Why the fuck would you want to share your bathroom, share your bed, your room, your car, your TV, your dog, your couch, your computer, desk, chairs, kitchen, food, beer, LIFE with... if you don't actually like them? That's retarded and will cause you misery.

I never want kids. I don't think I'm capable of love either. But there is no fucking way I'm going to share my BED with someone that I don't actually like. Fuck no no NO!

>>18101285
it's 99% mental, if you act like a beta bitch you'll think it's impossible, if you man up and just b urself you'll never be at a lack of pussy.

College is the perfect time to practice not being retarded when trying to pick up women. Go to a bar and try to pick up chicks, doesn't matter if you strike out, you're in college, no one gives a shit. Just bring a friend if you're afraid you'll get mopey after a bunch of rejections.

Also realize you will get rejected. a lot. This is normal, if you read into any "pickup artist" bullshit they use a lot of words to say that picking up chicks is all about just going for it. They'll try and tell you there are strategies and shit but all it really is is approaching another human being you want to be inside of, be nice and polite, and, if they want you to be inside them, they will respond.

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Girls and guys

I have a problem.

So, on workdays I never fap. Which is good because I'm convinced that fapping is not healthy (for me). But on my days off, I ALWAYS end up fapping and feel fucking terrible about it. Well.. at work we are now overstaffed, so my hours got cut down to 32 hours a week. Giving me 3 days off...

I don't want to fap 3 days in a fucking row. How can I avoid fapping on my days off

>>18101289
I'm capable of love, but I don't think I will find that girl or it would be way too difficult. I'd rather just settle. It's the sex that is really off-putting for me. I just can't imagine fucking a girl who has done interracial shit, it will literally make me vomit.

My point is if I marry someone who makes at least what I do, I'll have a lot more fucking money. I could afford a nice ass place, 5 star hotels(my parents use to take me to), maybe a country club membership(I might need to find one who makes more than me in this case), and really good fresh fucking food.

I could easily get a girl too, I get starred at all the time. I attract educated females too.

I want my friends ex so bad, bitch makes like half a million a year. Toxic personality, everyone hates her and she doesn't shut up about money. Completely self centered too.

>>18099374

> I'm always worried people think I'm creepy so I avoid everyone.

What the fuck should I do, im 18 in a new high school and have no fucking friends, and theres one girl that ive occasionally messaged but i always start the conversation. She isnt interested at all.
None of my friends reply to my texts and i just fucking wanna die all day
I dont even go to school i just call myself out and sit in my fucking car and do nothing until i have to go to work cause i only have 2 periods

>>18101228
How does an American man get a foreign, preferably white, gf?

>>18101344

Take a trip to Europe

Or do this >>>/int/71868014

>>18101305
>It's the sex that is really off-putting for me. I just can't imagine fucking a girl who has done interracial shit, it will literally make me vomit.
You've really been hexed by the pornographic Jew, haven't you. Christ, what kind of idiot sources do you get your info from, angry cuck threads on /gif/? 90+% of white women are disgusted by racemixing and won't do it.

>>18101388
I've been meaning to go back to Holland. Might as well try to bring back a nice tall girl to marry and reproduce with

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So my best friend, let's call her A. We have spent a lot of time together, have talked a lot about our personal lives, have had numerous classes together, and just generally have been very close for the past year and a half. For a long time, I repressed some very strong feelings that I had developed for her. Well, I gave up on repressing them and have been more flirtatious as well as generally trying to be more invested in her life. She seemed to respond well to all of this.

I openly ask her on a date, and she seems taken aback. Within this, I remain honest with her and tell her that I have very strong feeling for her that I had been repressing, and that I don't want to have to do that anymore. I expected a yes or a no. A resolution, either way. I thought "no" was the worst case scenario and that it would be fine.

Turns out, the worst case scenario is: "I don't know how I feel about you right now." No resolution to any of this, only more hesitation and tension. I took it with grace and made sure to not put pressure on her or anything, and have been giving her space to think. But what the fuck else am I suppose do to do here??? I feel like sitting on my ass isn't going to get me anywhere.

>pic b/c I damn well felt like posting a cool cake a I made a while back.

>>18101515
>she seems taken aback. Within this, I remain hones
i hope you dont actually talk like this in person

>>18101529
Given the fact that he's posting under the name Schrödinger, I wouldn't be surprised if he did

>>18098968
How do I know my boyfriend wants me? I'm not a very attractive girl and can't really imagine that he would want to stay with me over anyone else, especially when I look at other girls photos and compare them to me.
How do I know he won't leave me for some other girl?
He says he does but I don't think men can be trusted. Someone give insight into the male mind.

>>18101529
I speak in the manner of the country from whence English came my sir. You are a crude brute for talking to me in such a manner and I demand you rescind that ugly insult my good man!

>>18101539
What does he like about you?

>>18101539
>He says he does but I don't think men can be trusted
I think your insecurity is the problem here, not men.

>>18101539
Since your relationship is already in progress, you the person is just as important as your attractiveness. If you're both happy with each other, then cool everything's good. Comparing yourself to others is retarded since there will always be someone better looking than you, it's just how life is.

>>18101545
I ask him constantly and he says that I am very attractive and he enjoys my humour and spending time with me. He says I make him happy and that he doesn't think about other girls and doesn't want to hear it.
I just do not see how a more attractive girl would not make him happier. I'm convinced men just settle for the easiest most manageable option because they don't have to work for it. Is this true? Could someone live that much of a lie?

>>18101552
>Is this true? Could someone live that much of a lie?

No. But one thing to keep in mind is that if you feel like this and keep beating into his head constantly, he'll assume you have no trust for him and also probably get tired of hearing "you can do better than me" every day.

I've personally been there. I loved her, want to be with her but goddamn one day she just started going on and on about how other girls are better than her and kept being self deprecating which really started to wear on me. An unattractive personality is where I'd leave and it's where I've left before. Never because I didn't find her attractive, it was because she would never accept that I did and would just be really negative all the time, which was REALLY unattractive.

So if you want to push him away, constantly putting yourself down and saying he's better off without you will help.

>>18101539
>How do I know he won't leave me for some other girl?

If he hasn't left you now and bothered to commit he'll more than likely never leave you. Us guys aren't as mentally confused as you girls where where failing to take out the trash instantly creates a gigantic domino effect on whatever else comes up.

You have to fuck up big time. We're dogs. Loyal till you seriously hurt us. And looks aren't that hurtful. If you want to look better for him that's great for him and you should try looking more into what he wants.

> I don't think men can be trusted

Honestly speaking,since you're the girl in the relationship you're the one who shouldn't be trusted. You have more power than you think. Thing is is that your dude is just such an alpha he has you believing you don't have much

>>18101559
>>18101558
It's just hard to believe. I can clearly see these girls are superior in looks and it isn't just insecurity.

Plus the guys on this board always talk about lying to their gf about liking them while they jerk off to their oneitis, or about cheating with someone they like better. Everything is about how inferior their gf is to this ideal woman. After 4chan it's hard to believe men can be anything but deceitful and evil.

>>18101574
>it's hard to believe men can be anything but deceitful and evil.
I guess you've selectively overlooked the endless threads about women who cheated and don't know if they should tell their bf huh? nice cherry picking.

I suspect you always had some hatred towards men because of, yep, insecurity but now your mind has got tunnel vision about it and you're trying to convince yourself of it.

tl;dr insecure and you think everyone else is the problem

>>18101574
Not a guy, but that's definitely insecurity. There's always going to be a prettier girl, and the fact that you suspect he's lying to you despite you having no reason to think that points to insecurity

>>18101574
you're insecure. thats it.
go head and hate men if you want then, more men for us normie femanons.

>>18101579
No, both girls and guys are evil and deceptive. It was a mistake to say that.
But this doesn't change the situation. If men are generally awful and probably feel those things deep down, what is the point? Seems like love is just setting yourself up to be destroyed.

>>18101586
> If men are generally awful and probably feel those things deep down, what is the point?
But we don't. Have you read any of these posts at all?
Has your bf actually even shown a reason to not trust him?

>>18098976
Dont apply personal attitude to half of the humanity if you want to appear somewhat self-aware

Why is desperation seen as unattractive?
t. Autistic neet that will never have sex in his life time.

>>18101739

People want to feel desired. They want to feel like they've been chosen specifically for their positive traits and looks. If somebody is desperate and comes across as such, it indicates that they are merely "settling" for you because you are desperate for any kind of gratification.

Nobody wants to feel like they're bottom of the barrel or the final choice.

By being indifferent or at least picky when it comes to choosing a partner, you're showing that you have confidence and standards. This is attractive, as it compliments the person you finally choose as good enough to be with.

That's my opinion anyway.

>>18101747
This. Desperation implies you don't really value a person for who they are and will take anyone in their place. It ultimately comes across as shallow.

>>18101283
>I don't want to be the one who isn't married and has to show up to events alone.
Honestly may as well hire an escort or something as arm candy if the alternative is to enter a loveless marriage.

>>18100913
>gets angry because I let her get on train first after she rushed ahead of me and "the guy should get on first"
One of the oldest gender stereotypes is "ladies first". Honestly I don't know why you're wasting time with her either way.

I think I'm losing the ability to connect with people. I feel completely numb to the world.

>>18099222
Not very tall, loud voice, socially autistic, boring person (I don't like parties and going to the disco, i'm more a book/vidya type)
>>18101185
Great. Now, what's your question?
>>18101296
Find something to do whenever you feel the urge. On my no fap period, I used to read the Bible. Not even a Christian, just because. Worked for 3 months until I realized it's useless and fapping is actually something natural and not shameful at all.
>>18101894
Find someone to talk too about your feelings bro. It kinda helped me. If you don't have any friend, go for a professional. If you don't want to pay, there are several online chats where you can express yourself.

Now then... How do I stop thinking about an unreachable girl? She has a bf so i didn't even try to hook up and confessing to vent sounds cringy. We're in the same school, and even though not the same class, she's in the one just beside mine so I can't avoid her. I tried to realize how irrational my feelings are but that doesn't make the situation better.

>>18101940
>How do I stop thinking about an unreachable girl?
If you truly like her as a person, just enjoy her company and be happy such a person exists. You don't HAVE to date her.

>>18099222
Not tall, have had sex only once and can't shake the feeling that I'll be cheated on in a relationship so I don't try to get one which leads to more insecurity because I can't attract a mate even for one night.

>>18101946
I know you're right and I don't HAVE to date her but I really feel like I actually do. Like, there's the rational me that just realizes that and the passionate, stronger me that just doesn't give a fuck and keeps on telling me "you WANT her"

How do I overcome my nervousness when I want to make a move? It feels like stage fright, which I also have, and I hate stage fright.

I'm an American in South Korea dating a Korean girl and we get along really well but have problems because of language barriers and cultural differences.

Is there anything short of learning her language (which I'm working on) that I can do, or stuff that girls of all nationalities like? We have a lot more problems with language in text than in person.

>>18099222
Not tall, quiet skinny.

Never had a proper relationship so I'm spooked on how I'd approach one hence why I always leave it too late asking girls out.

Girls, how do you initiate conversation on tinder? I've had it ingrained that "hey how's it going?" is a bad starter but I can't think of anything else when the girl just has a small sentence about them.

What's appropriate + not boring?

>>18101982
cumpliment or talk about something on her photos. like, i had a picture of me wearing a moustache and some guys would say "hey i like your moustache" or "my moustache is better than yours!" it was better than the boring "hi"

>>18101982
Tell me something you think I might like about you, make me laugh.
Jokes, comments or questions about something you've seen in my profile, something I've written, something you can gather from my pics.
Keep it brief, be witty. Write like someone who didn't struggle to get out of high school, don't use emojis.

For example, in my profile I had a pic of me hiking and a pic of me eating a salad with my mom. This guy made a joke about corrupting me and taking me out for lunch at a McDonalds. 10 messages later we were setting up a date.

>>18101963
send audio instead of text

>>18101996
>Be witty
>Be intelligent
>Be funny
>Be tall
>Be handsome
>Be confident
>Be impressive
>Have a big dick
>Have experience
>Have money
>Have a toned body
>Don't be nervous
>Don't be a creep
>Don't do, say or suggest anything I deem boring
>Even then I can just fish a better guy for myself if I feel like you're not good enough

getting a date has some of the longest list of requirements, even compared to a position of a CEO

at least position of a CEO is guaranteed if you do your job well, relationship can fuck up even if you do everything right

>>18102008
God, people like you really shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.

Yes, I have standards.
I wouldn't date a guy who is much more stupid than me, cannot type well or is boring to be around. I wouldn't date an ugly dude, or someone extremely socially awkward. I wouldn't date a NEET who has no ambition in life and doesn't shower.
I don't feel bad for wanting someone as good as me - I'm in shape and cute, I am in med school, I can express myself properly in 4 languages, I have interests and I can have a conversation with most people without it being awkward or boring.
If you're an ugly, fat NEET who cannot keep a conversation, I definitely can do better.

>>18102012
I'm not an ugly, fat NEET who can't hold a conversation. Don't jump into conclusions.

What I implied is that tinder and relationships in general feel like a job interview and even if you go through the interview, your position is always in extreme jeopardy for a myriad of reasons. You can't fault a man who becomes cynical in a world where 20/80 rule is completely true.

>>18102012
she´s right
>>18102008
but not all of these standards are real. i dont care about dick size, for example, but care about if the guy watches porn, which i find disgusting (as i dont live in north america its common to not watch porn). also idc about how much money the guy has or if he goes to the gym

>>18102029
>ut care about if the guy watches porn, which i find disgusting (as i dont live in north america its common to not watch porn).
Where on earth are you from because the only places I could imagine that being true don't really have a reliable internet connection to begin with.

>>18102024
Sounds like you are just insecure.

>>18102034
she's from one of those untouched tribes from the amazon. They had contact with the outside world for the first time and shes already shit posting.

>>18102024
I do fault them because they have no recognition of reality.

It is true when it comes to casual sex. If I had casual sex, I would go for someone in the top 20%. If you could, you would too.

But I am looking for a relationship. So, while I do have standards, I want someone who is "good enough" on the paper (which doesn't mean being perfect in all aspects, but being sufficiently good) and that makes me feel good around them. I am seeking a personal, emotional, unique bond that doesn't come automatically when you are good enough for the position.
I personally have met guys who were perfect for me on the paper and didn't make me feel anything, and I've met guys who were less good but made me feel as happy as I could be. Your "position" isn't at risk because we have a bond, because I love you - I don't want someone else not because you're better than everyone, but because you're the one I have chosen.
Of course if we don't have that bond or I'm not looking to build it, I have no reason to stick with you over someone much better looking or that satisfies some superficial requirements better. And you'd do the same.

>>18102034
i guess its the culture from north america (or at least from guys on 4chan, since ive never been in there). i live in brazil, and its common to watch porn, but also common to not to, either for religious reasons or cuz it seems easier to socialize

>>18102042
outside world = north america (for you)

>>18102024
You have a severe lack of self-respect, my man.

If you're looking for a relationship, shouldn't you be checking whether this girl is wort it as well? So it is like a job interview , but a mutual one.

And why should your postition be in Jeopardy alle the time? If you cannot trust that girl, and she doesn't really like you, what's the point of being together?

What you experience is caused by your needy beliefs, not by anything that has any base in reality whatsoever. Be worth something to yourself.

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>>18102057
>cuz it seems easier to socialize
That doesn't make sense to me. You watch porn to masturbate. If you're getting those same needs met from socialization, that basically means you're engaging in casual sex.

Considering that, I fail to see how casual sex is any less disgusting than watching pornography instead.

>>18102063
cuz of pornography industry (make some research on that). also, trading nudes is less common here, but still common. and yes, when socialization is easier, casual sex is too

>>18102060
oh you're from brazil, I'd hit it if you're cute.

>>18102067
>cuz of pornography industry (make some research on that).
I'm well aware of how unethical the industry can be, but that does not mean all porn is made unethically. Obviously I understand it if you don't want to date a guy who watches facial abuse, but I don't get the gap between something like brazzers and casual sex.

>>18102043
>If I had casual sex, I would go for someone in the top 20%

I'm a virgin, and this is kinda fucking me up right now. I want to start things off with casual stuff, or at least take it easy with a girl, fuck first and see whether that may develop into anything.

It's seriously hampering my ability to talk to girls, since I' always in my head thinking about what to say/how to behave so I avoid being Boyfriend-zoned.
I just don't want to be that guy who has to rely on forming an emotional bond to get sex, never mind that that is dishonest as fuck. I know guys who are in relationships with girls they don't like just for the steady supply of sex, and it's predictably shitty for them.
i just feel as if being the dude who a girl thinks "eh, good enough to feed my children , I'll reward him with sex for being a good doggy" places you in the same category as the girl who gets used as a cumdump by guys without even the tiniest bit of respect for her.

What do I do? I am good-looking and all that, but that alone doesn't get you jack shit when you're a guy.

>>18102084
Well, masturbation releases and suprresses a bunch of hormones same as if you had sex. Only that actual sex (casual or not) releases a bunch of other, beneficial hormones to balance that out. Which is why excessive masturbation, especially to porn, will lower your overall motivation and makes you feel like crap in the long run.

Never mind that porn is so easily accessible and saves you all the uncomfortable stuff atht comes with dealig with actualy people, so you stay in and wank instead of going out and talk to people.

>>18102091
Improve yourself till you are the best I can get - be good looking, confident, charming, whatever. Improve yourself till you get there. Or go for girls with low standards.

Casual sex is a harsh competition. Shit sucks. You *have* to be better than my other options to get me. I don't see why I should get with a not-so-good option when I can get the best option.

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>>18102096
>Well, masturbation releases and suprresses a bunch of hormones same as if you had sex. Only that actual sex (casual or not) releases a bunch of other, beneficial hormones to balance that out.

Stop making shit up to justify your hangups with porn.

>>18102104
>You *have* to be better than my other options to get me. I don't see why I should get with a not-so-good option when I can get the best option.
My only issue with this is when women bang the top 20%, and then start thinking they can actually have a relationship with them. Few things are more annoying than a 5 whining an 8+ isn't interested in committing.

>>18102091
can confirm, good looks don't do shit for guys. It's pretty pointless being a good looking male when you still have to do all the work.

>>18102043
Must be awesome being the gatekeeper, eh?
>>18102061
Lack of self-respect? I know where I am good at and where I am not. I am confident in my abilities. I have no problem saying no to people who ask too much. How can I have lack of self-respect when I respect myself?

>>18102104
>Casual sex is a harsh competition. Shit sucks. You *have* to be better than my other options to get me.
Why did you say that this does not hold in relationships?

>>18102111
Same as 5/10 guys who complain because they cannot find hot women in their area willing to fuck them without a relationship, I guess.

>>18102113
>Must be awesome being the gatekeeper, eh?
It's decent.

>>18102121
>Why did you say that this does not hold in relationships?
Because they have deeply different dynamics. There is no competition in terms of "you are the one that suits the requirement best" - it's more "you are the only one I've ever considered to get the prize, I am crazy for you and it wouldn't make sense with anyone else". You don't have to be the best, you have to be the one.
If I'm seeking a personal connection with someone, things become much less objective. I've felt deeply connected and in love with overall average and didn't feel anything for very good looking, smart and pleasant people. It's not like you have to check 10 boxes to be a perfect partner and I have to fall in love with you if you do.
If I am just looking for casual sex, and I can choose one person, I'll choose the one who is more attractive based on completely superficial things.

>>18102104
Well, but if you are attracted to a guy, you are attracted to him, right?

My problem is not so much finding girls who are into me, and more with pushing things towards sex while clearly communicating I'm just looking to smash without making the girl feel like a slut. Whether she's down for it or not is out of my hands, so all I can do is move things towards sex decisively and find out whether I'm wasting my time.
You forget that from a guys perspective, even hot girls are essentially a dime a dozen if you don't care about personality - so it's not like you're the only one with options in that equation.

That said, hwo does a guy usually approach you when he's just looking to fuck, and how direct can you be about it?

>>18102139
>Same as 5/10 guys who complain because they cannot find hot women in their area willing to fuck them without a relationship, I guess.
I don't really see it that much honestly relative to the inverse but on the face of it sure, I can agree with that.

>>18102141
>ey bby u wan sum fuc?
works ok

>>18102141
You're asking her to be a pump and dump, there's no way you can make her feel like a princess while doing so.
Be decent and open, be friendly, and make sure you don't lead her on and don't make it sound like you are looking for something more.

A guy looking for a fuck treats me like a number and not like a person. He calls me beautiful, he tries to push conversation about sex, he doesn't even try to get to know me.
Then, I'd reject any guy who acts like this because I am not interested in casual sex, but it's up to you - there are some guys who can make sexual jokes without bothering me and some guys that gross me out when they make a subtle sexual references.

>>18102157
I read things like these in these threads like 15 times a day.
People, in general, have absurd expectations about the opposite gender.

>>18102139
>You don't have to be the best, you have to be the one.
This nice feelgood bullshit is great and all, but you still do choose who you initially get attracted to based on superificial characteristics, drop a couple of hints and then wait for said dude to do a move. If it turns out he's not up to par, there's most likely a horde of others ready to line up to try their chances.

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60KB, 500x411px

>>18102163
>I read things like these in these threads like 15 times a day.
Because this is where people often vent their frustrations. I mean, I sure wouldn't take tumblr at face value for what women think. They maybe get frustrated over a man being inconsiderate with his personal space and go ranting about manspreading or some silly shit.

>>18102165
Yes. Which is what I said in each and every post - I do have standards, but standards aren't what is ultimately relevant in my choice to get in a relationship with someone or not.
You can be amazing on the paper but not make me feel anything and I won't date you.

>>18102185
So the same dynamic does apply.

>>18102187
To an extent, but it's not what makes me choose one person over the other.

I wouldn't date a man who thought that women should stay in the kitchen even if I loved him because his ideology wouldn't be compatible with my lifestyle. I wouldn't date someone who doesn't shower, or is much more stupid than me even if I loved him because these things get on my nerves eventually and I know it. I do have standards for relationships.

On the other hand, I have dated and I have been happy with people that weren't my best option on the paper, but were the only people have eyes for because of the peculiar bond I had with them.

It's both about standards and about the personal connection. While, when you're seeking for sex without strings attached, the personal connection doesn't exist and it's ALL about standards and being my best option.

Like - in this very moment I can think of 6 or 7 guys who would do me and are better than my boyfriend in a way or another. I have no interest in them because of the bond I have with my boyfriend, and I don't have with them.

>>18102206
>>18102163
I think I didn't quite put right what exactyl I am looking for; which is not strictly a pump and dump: I at least want to have some mutual sympathy or any form of connection to the girl, some sense I can trust her somewhat as a person (me being a virgin and all) I just dont want it to be a fullblown relationship with all kinds of lovey-dovey shit. Could probably be best described as csual dating, fuckbuddy, or even a ONS, just not one that is nothing more than mutual masturbation.
Does a personal connection automatically exclude the possibility of things just being fast and casual?

>>18102206
>implying this bond isn't something that grows overtime
>implying you couldn't form it with anyone else
>implying said bond isn't easily severed if your bf becomes dissatisfactionary in some aspect

>>18102220
>implying this bond isn't something that grows overtime
It is to an extent, but we instantaneously felt chemistry and felt connected to each other. Over time it developed in something deeper, but it was instantaneously meaningful.

>implying you couldn't form it with anyone else
I could, if I met someone I had that sort of chemistry with. I have met maybe 4 guys I had chemistry with in my whole life.

>implying said bond isn't easily severed if your bf becomes dissatisfactionary in some aspect
My boyfriend is dissatisfactionary (is it even a word?) in many aspects. But especially because of the bond we share, I have no desire to cheat on him or look for someone else - that bond makes me desire to stay committed and loyal. That's the whole point of creating personal connections with the people you fuck.

>>18101940
Go fuck yourself.