What are signs that i should just stop pursuing a girl?

Has it been more than a few hours? If so time to stop

>>17936293
She wants to find a guy like you....but not you. Time to look elsewhere.

>>17936303
Concurred. Drop it like a baby OP.

>I want to find a guy like you
>You're like a brother to me
>The girl that ends up with you will be very lucky

If she says any of these just accept that it's not happening. Don't go Nice Guy™ on her, just know to let go.

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>>17936303
>>17936315
Well, haven't got any of those

>>17936315
mfw i'm a girl and i've said stuff like that to guys i'm into, especially the first and third, not so much the second

no wonder i'm single.

>>17936417
Be direct.

>>17936417
imagine being an anime high school girl, then it will work out.

>>17936417
Guys tend to take that as being friend zoned.

>>17936293
>What are signs that i should just stop pursuing a girl?
If it's not obvious she's into you, she's not, so stop.

>>17936293
Ask her out. If she responds with anything but an enthusiastic yes, or says she's busy but doesn't suggest another time you're wasting your time.

>>17936417
>especially the first and third
Are you autistic?

Especially the third one, what the fuck.
>I could be that lucky girl teehee except ur ugly lol

>>17936448
From my experience, girls like to hide their interest
>>17936458
I fear rejection though, I've never landed a date

>>17936466
>From my experience, girls like to hide their interest
You mean, in your experience, you've not found any women who were interested in you.

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>>17936473
Kill me

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>>17936473

>>17936417
>no wonder i'm retarded
Fify.

Seriously. How does any competant being read those and not automatically come to the conclusion "this isnt going anywhere".

>>17936293
you did this to yourself
you made it clear to her that you weren't interested
coming on to her now would just seem fake
you should have expressed your interest when you met

>>17936487
>>17936484
It's okay anons, I'm super unattractive too.

>>17936521
But I'm just autistic...

>>17936293
Right now.

That is a sign

If you are a Chad she'll come to you.
If you aren't every word out of her mouth is a lie and the best you can ever hope to be is a doormat.

If love is what you want then get a cat. If sex is what you want get a hooker.

>>17936298
>>17936303
>>17936437
>>17936448
>>17936473
>>17936491
>>17936544
What the fuck is with all of the R9K?

>>17936551
>he still thinks /adv/ and /r9k/ are somehow different

Oh man...

And only one of those posts you liked is wrong.

>>17936293
Yeah. Ok, I should give up. I've tried numerous times asking this girl out and she never responds back, I should've taken the hint the third time around...fuck me.

>>17936293
If it isnt easy and doesnt happen.

Girls are super obvious. If it appears grey or confusing, she doesnt want you.

>>17936551
>muh r9k
>falling for the hope meme

I used to be that guy in the OP. If I never fell for the happily ever after meme I would be in a much more prosperous position in life right now.

>>17936554
They are different. The communities are like polar opposites. Adv is left of center young people with hopeful outlooks and s bkeief that problems can be solved. R9k is right of center butter young people who believe there is no hope. R9k is your personal playpen to spew your vitriol and depression born non thoughts but as has been shown many times on 4chan "containment boards" don't contain, they just give legitimacy to trolls and assholes.

>>17936561
This. Autists really need to ask themselves why would someone interested in someone else try and pretend otherwise, or put up barriers to getting with that person?

>Man I really like this guy, better ignore him so he knows I like him?

>>Man, I could really go for a burger, clearly the best course of action is to get chinese.

>>>Oh shit, an opening for my dream job! Better send in my resume with a cover letter saying I don't want the job!

>>17936557
>>17936566
You guys should watch Evangelion
>>17936561
Aye, but I'm dense and stupid so I need it spelled out

>>17936573
>Aye, but I'm dense and stupid so I need it spelled out
Honestly that would be nice too.

>Oh hi anon, nice to meet you! I don't find you attractive at all, okay?

Also, EVA is shit

>>17936573
>need it spelt out

Its alright man. I get your troubles, i used to have them.

Needing it spelt out is a good thing, because girls will spell it out hard. If you arent catching anything, move on. Thats all there is to it.

Unless youre this guy in this other thread right now. Heres a girl who is spelling it out, and its flying over his head.

Go observe. It can be educational for you.

>>17936347

>>17936566
Happily ever after is a fairy tale but the idea that everything is terrible and there's no point in having hope is equally irrational. If you want to be a realist, then accept that some things that happen to you will be bad and some will be good. Hope just gives you the strength to push on instead of giving up and killing yourself when you face adversity.

>>17936586
Aye, I'll take a look

>>17936589
This.

Nihilism is extremely positive and stress relieving if you approach it properly.

Sometimes its shit sometimes is good, if it wasnt shit you wouldnt know what good was.

>>17936586
Fuck, so EVERY woman will do this? I mean, a girl I like always comes up to talk to me, but when I compliment or flirt with her she just gets flustered or says thanks. We've done stuff together, and she obviously enjoys my company but she never texts me or invites me places. It's like the interest is there but she takes no initiative besides approaching me to talk or going places with me occasionally

>>17936608

Yes. Almost every girl does this. Not many will say "come fuck me." they are slightly koy.

But you will occupy their every thought and theyll want you everywhere they are and they will tell you. Also in person they will touch you a lot. My biggest signal theres sexual interest in the past is if she laughs and touches my arm. Then i know im at most days away from bang.

"Thanks" is a sincere "i appreciate the compliment but nah not you."

>>17936608
Taking initiative is your job. You contact her, you set up the dates and work out the logistics so you have a comfortable and appropriate place to stab her with your rod. Then after that, if you've laid it down right, she'll likely take more initiative.

>>17936613
Is laughing and touching of the arm really a sexual thing? I have girls do this pretty frequently when I'm making racy jokes even ones in relationships but never thought anything of it.

>>17936293
how about "well, there's me... let's go out" or something like that?

I bet >>17936417 would expect something like that

>>17936620
Not always but yeah.

Especially in response to racey jokes since youre showing confidence and theyre buying it.

Its a very good sign. I wouldn't advocate home wrecking, but for the ones out of relationships its a good time to ask for a number.

>>17936620
>>17936625

Also im gathering from the girl in your OP and your telling me you get touched a lot youre probably attractive. I dont even need a picture.

Seems its flowing your way and youre too stunned to do anything. Ease up man. Its not a big deal. Breathe and relax.

>>17936634
I posted the arm touching thing. Not op tho. I'm also not attractive which is why I find it odd

>>17936634
I mean, if a girl agreed to help improve my stroke in swimming and wanted me to hold her and dive down with her, would that be a sign of interest or was she just bored one night and wanted to go swimming with some guy? She even said she lost her one piece swimsuit so she was wearing a sports bra and compression shorts

>>17936293
>putting all your eggs in one basket

You should be htting up mutiple girls at the same time op women do it with their beta orbiters so should you.

>girl makes compliments
>noticed she touches me occasionally
>also shit like this happen
>>17936620

And I still do not act. Fuck it, whatever.

>>17936925
I do but I feel guilty... I have no idea why

>>17937161
I understand. I felt that way too.

Believe me when you see the attention women get on dating sites you won't feel bad at all. Even the nicest girl will have at least five other guys talking to her. I went out with a girl who seemed really quite and reserved. She had a date later that night and the next day for lunch.

>>17937171
Does that mean I should not only flirt with other girls but date them too? How do I make them feel special?

>>17937182
>Does that mean I should not only flirt with other girls but date them too?
Yes

>How do I make them feel special?
You don't. If anything, telling them you're seeing other women increased your desirability to them

>>17937199
And all girls will react in my favor to this...? If I heard a girl I like tell me this I'd get the fuck away from her

>>17937206
>If I heard a girl I like tell me this I'd get the fuck away from her

Men and women are different. Women don't mind sharing an alpha male

>would you like to go on a date with me?
>(anything other than yes)

>>17937220
The point of this is to find out if they're not interested before I even ask them out, I don't wanna waste my time again

>>17937206
Have in mind that not all women like manwhores, any women with some self-respect will drop you imediatly if they smell bullshit, people here just like to generalize, as some people say "be the man you want your daughter to marry, and the right girl will notice you".

>>17937443
So I'm fucked essentially? I have no idea how to conduct myself

>>17936293

if when you ask her out on a date, she says no.

if when you try to kiss her she refuses.

>>17937226

you can't. you can find obvious signs of disinterest, but outside of purposely avoiding you you cant find out if they're /not/ interested without actually asking them out.

if thats too much of a waste of time to get to know a girl over the course of 3 days before finally asking her out, then dont date, you dont understand what relationships are about.

>>17937725
All I have been is rejected and the top reason was "I barely know you anon", so how does it even work? Too early too late? Is there no such thing as even winning over a girl, it's just determined immediately if they will or will not date you?

>>17937730

a date is what you take a girl out on to get to know them, sounds like they're just trying to let you down eas.y

>>17937734
Aye, that was years ago though

>>17937738

the nits irrelevant.

there is no sure way of knowing if a girl will go on a date with you without asking her on a date.

if you act too soon or too early, thats a separate problem entirely.

>>17937748
Is there any ideal time? I feel like four months is a bit too late, but is there still a good chance? She doesn't dislike my company, I know that

>>17937754

four months is way too late. my time frame is 3 days max, but it depends on the level of interaction you have. you can get a date with a girl within five minutes of meeting her if shes digging your look and wants to find out more about you.

>>17936571
>better ignore him so he knows I like him?
Automatically assuming a girl is ghosting you because she hasn't responded sounds like a good way to lose a busy girl.

Though I'm heavily biased, I'm pursuing a home schooled girl who takes 10 fucking days to respond back. She warned me when she volunteered her email to me that she takes a long time but this is killing me. I even see her google account online a lot of the times I check, could mean lots of things but god damn.

>>17937759
>Automatically assuming a girl is ghosting you because she hasn't responded sounds like a good way to lose a busy girl.

Kek, no girl is so busy they can't respond to you. They're all glued to their phones anyway.

>>17936293
You're supposed to say
>Yeah we wouldn't work out anyways

>>17937443
How do we know what kind of woman we are dealing with??

>>17936293
> Hello [Girl]. I think you're great and I'm really enjoying your company, I would love to get to know you better. Would you like to go out on a date with me [this weekend/at X coffeeplace/go feed ducks]?

Be direct, be sincere, and take it as it comes. If it's going to be a 'no', wouldn't you rather know now, than put her on a pedestal for months and pursue her without ever having a chance?

Are you ok with just being friends with her forever? And I mean literally, you will never be her boyfriend, but you can have her as a friend. Are you ok with that? If so, and she rejects you, brush it off- "That's fair, thanks for telling me. I still mean what I say about enjoying your company, we can go bowling sometime if you want." (Maybe don't sound quite so videogame-dialogue-y).

If you're NOT ok with being JUST friends, then better to know now and cut things off so you can pursue something that's meaningful to you.

"I wanna go see this movie"
" yea why don't you you go see it"
" i dont have anyone to go with"
Im standing right in front of you, we've been too the movies before together. Jesus, can females and males be friends? It seems so stupidly complicated

>>17936293
Honestly, the problem in this text exchange is that the dude gave up too soon.

If he had been like "I'm serious. Let me take you out some time," he might've been good. You gotta at least be willing to get a firm 'no' from a woman if you plan on getting anywhere. Can't just assume she's not into you. "Well I mean, there's me" is pretty coy. She's not gonna just hand herself to you and confess her feelings after something so noncommittal.

When a girl is interested, she will always find a way to be with you. If she is busy, she will make time for you even if it's just 15 minutes, if she doesn't really enjoy watching x movie or going to y place, she will do both of these things for the sake of doing them with you.
But if she always creates barriers between you two and doesn't seem really enthusiastic about being with you, it's a clear sign she doesn't want you.

>>17938167
She was never interested in him. That's a woman's way of saying I'm not attracted to you

"I wish I could find a guy like you" 90% of the time is code for "I wish you would ask me out but you're just treating me like a friend so I guess you're not interesting in me."

>>17938215

:"interested in me"

>>17938213
Doesn't apply to all girls. We'll not nessicarily immediately at least.

Like i got a friend who would try to meet up with a girl. She would always agree but cancel the day of, then ghosts him for a week until she replies again. But about a month after the last cancelation she reached out and asked him to get coffee

>>17938214
Sometimes, yes. Not always. She could be nervous, she could have assumed he was joking.

I used to make those "this is what it means when a woman does this" statements when I was younger and the biggest lesson I've learned from it is (i) don't assume you know what 's going on in her head and (ii) if you're having to guess at what's on her mind then you're not being direct enough.

I tried to get good at reading potential signs of rejection because I was so afraid of it. A lot of missed opportunities because of it.

>>17938223
And i bet that, being the pathetic loser he was, he accepted it instead of telling her to grow up, stop playing these retarded games and fuck off.

No self-respecting man will keep pursuing a girl that rejects him once or twice, and specially not one that plays these stupid ass games.

>>17938231
Well it only happened twice. The third is her asking him to meet up.

She does seem interested given the absurd text lengths. (100+ words usually) and that she seems to have a friend help her with them. Along with her seeming to be trying to impress him.

Remember. Not all girls are the same. Some can be just as awkward as guys

>>17938245
How old is she?

>>17938254
We don't know....

He thought she was 18-19 but she told him that there's and age gap, and that she's under 30... So somewhere between 22-29?

>>17938266
Wasting his time. Plain and simple. No woman worth your while is gonna bullshit around like that.

Here's the play by play of how this should have gone:

You ask a woman out. She either...

1) Says yes, agrees on a time/place, and shows up for it
2) Says yes, agrees on a time/place, ends up having to cancel but gives adequate notice and offers another time when she will be available so you can reschedule

Those are the only two acceptable ways that scenario plays out. Anything other than that, you move on. Period.
3)

>>17938282
Sure.. What ever you say.... I doubt the standard rules can apply here give that she is absurdly shy, probably inexperienced with relationships. And that she made a fuss about the age gap but decided to work through it.

And that she actually reached out this time to do something? He hasn't spoken to her much since the last cancelation beyond class stuff and pleasantries on Xmas.

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>>17936473

>>17937161
Not everyone is meant play the field or talk to multiple people at once. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Do what you feel is right.

>>17936458
Not op, but what does it mean if she said she was busy, didn't reschedule but flirted with you still the next time she saw you? Is it possible she just didn't think about it?

>>17938290
>absurdly shy, probably inexperienced with relationships. And that she made a fuss about the age gap but decided to work through it.


Like I said, "no woman worth your while," which is certainly not what you're describing.

>>17938308
You're having a really hard time with this whole notion of "anything else is unacceptable" aren't you?

>>17937848
This.
The girl I was recently pursuing would take 2-3 days to reply. Yet when I went out with her, she would reply to all her texts either asap, or within a few minutes.

>>17936293
WARNING SIGNS!

>if she has a restraining order against you
>if she thinks you are creepy
>if she put you in the friendzone
>if she laughs like pic
>if you sent a dick pic
>if most of the words to you are no...

if any of these apply to you its time to give it up.

>>17937848
I thought she had excuses due to having no phone but even so 22 days and two emails has made me pretty jaded. I need a car so I can meet more girls or something.

>>17936293
i think you already know you just dont want to accept it

>>17938336
Everything but the dick pic one is common knowledge.

Also there's nothing wrong with a dick pic to give your gf