Do Looks Matter?

>>17670814
>but in the end would you say that the appearance of someone effects how you view them romantically?

I'm a hideous man and I can say from experience that yes, it does very much.

>>17670814
yes looks matter

As a guy who is both ugly & unpleasant, I think confidence & wit are more important.

>>17670857
Have you ever approached a woman with confidence? How did it go?

>>17670814
>I understand that once you get to know someone, their personality matters more than their appearance.
Bullshit.

>would you say that the appearance of someone effects how you view them romantically?
100% in a way. A relationship obviously needs much, much, much more than looks but it's the ticket in. I could never date a person I don't find attractive, no matter how awesome their personality is. Now if they are rich ... it'd make me think.

Guy here. Usually it's easier when it comes to women, as long you're not disgustingly ugly and few people are.

>>17670814
I find myself attracted over type, intensely, to men that my initial reaction was "eurgh!"
What matters to me is poise, intelligence, confidence, calmness, high standards, and kindness to everyone regardless of how they match up to your standards. Looks matter only in the first hours of knowing someone.

Looks get your foot through the door, personality keeps them from kicking you out.

Thanks for the input guys. Recently a guy had asked me out but the way he did it felt kind of pushy. Would you guys consider this as confidence or desperate? I'm really not too attracted to him to begin with so i'm wondering if this might have an effect on how I should go about this.

>>17670966
Pushy? sounds like he was feigning confidence to me. Like somebody told him to be assertive and his interpretation of that advice was to be demanding

>>17670814
It sucks but looks do matter to a degree. In general, people who are roughly equally attractive wind up together. There are exceptions but youll probably have better luck aiming within your league. Like if youre a 7, go for other 7s.

>>17670814
They matter but they're not everything. If you love someone's personality and their spirit, it will automatically add a couple attractiveness points to them in your eyes. As you get older, looks matter less and less. That's why old people still fuck.

>>17670966
>>17671005
This, likely he was playing up his personality. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it could be indicative of issues further down the line.

Looks matter, very much. Even when the relationship has blossomed, you have to remain attracted.

>>17671009
I think in the heat of the moment it sounded pushy to me because I had to constantly take a few steps back during the conversation, the dude was in my personal space. So that kind of made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Second, we do happen to have a class together and he just comes off as immature at times.
I'm just confused about how I feel about the whole thing. I want to give him a chance but at the same time I want to stay away from him. If that makes any sense.

>>17670814

This is a rather difficult question. Looks DO matter, obviously. But the question really should be 'to what degree to looks matter?'. That's a more meaningful question cause it's not just a yes/no answer. From experience, I have reasons to believe in favor or in opposition to the primacy of looks.
Easy example comes from a friend of mine literally named CHAD. Imagine a Chad, he lOOKS EXACTLY like that. However his girlfriend was this 5/10 girl who looks like LOL addict. But the vibed so well of each other I can tell why he would date her. Another example comes from a fat friend of mine who ended with a legit 7/10 a couple years ago. There are many other examples I've witnessed. I feel confident in saying that there's something else, whatever it may be, of similar importance to looks.
Looks are away to analyze people we don'r know. But after we know them looks (or their phenomenon) begin transform. Try to recall how many girls you were first completely indifferent or outright not attracted to who later became top tier in your eyes. The same I imagine can be said happens to girls.
What causes this? From experience, I say the general atmosphere and vibe they create when you're around them. Positive out positive in. Usually, I notice that one is drawn to a particular cosmetic aspect that was once overlooked (nose, eyes, hair, jawline, etc.) - you acquire a taste for them. So looks have elements to them much more nuanced than just being recognizably attractive from the outset. This is touched upon in HIMYM with the Mermaid theory. Exposure as well is a factor to developing a taste for someone or a feature.
Conditioning too. As said before, positive out positive in. If someone is friendly, funny and agreeable than their features become associated with these attributes. If I had a dollar for how many cute girls I've seen with fat (funny) guys, I've be set for year backpacking around Europe.
The reception of your looks are malleable I believe.

>>17671040
Hon, no, stay away. If you don't feel a wish to be near him, trust that. He isn't for you, and maybe some other girl will like him instead. You don't owe him a chance if there's no attraction. Don't date people out of pity.

>>17671102
alright, I've been thinking about trusting my first instinct for a while and I agree. I should just keep my distance. This whole thing has been driving me crazy and I just needed a little reassurance that this might not be the right guy to have a first relationship with.
I do wish for something genuine though, I've never had a boyfriend but I don't want to just get involved in something just for a rushed experience.

General physical attraction is pretty important when making a first impression, and varying degrees of important from then on (depending on the person). That being said, being charismatic can make up for 'less than perfect' marks in appearance. Also, while everyone has an 'ideal', the majority of people will be happy with someone who takes care of their body and is generally comfortable to be around. Think of ideal features (some people like particular hair styles, or eyes, etc) as bonus points, not as mandatory.

For example, some girls love beards, some girls hate them. I have the good fortune of growing a decent beard, and being decently handsome. So I can swing a point or two in either direction if I know the person's preference.

So, my advice is go to >>>/fit/ and to >>>/fa/, learn to make yourself look good, and do your best m8

>>17671226
Oh I didn't even read the rest of the thread, looks like my advice wasn't even needed

From a dude that's fucked two different women tonight that were both cold pick-ups, yes. They set the stage for the fucking.

Do everything to make yourself look good, know that you look good, be interesting, be bold, and stare them in the fuckin eyes.

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>>17671226
>going to /fit and /fa
>ever