/love/ General

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How does one flirt?

>>17668291
I dunno, i think it's a combonation of forcetalking people and givinh them compluments.

My parents asked if they could set me up with the daughter of one of their friends. I laughed and said sure.Turns out, I ended up falling for this girl really hard. I do not want to fuck this up, how do you guys get over your nervousness around someone?

>>17668298
Realize there's no reason to be nervous. The only reason to be nervous is because you're afraid you look nervous or might mess up. Confidence will prevent you from messing up and confidence will prevent you from looking nervous.

>>17668291
Once you have basic conversation skills and are comfortable around the person you can usually advance to compliments, touching, eye contact, facial expressions and showing that you're attracted to the person. Flirting doesn't work if you don't want the person to know you're into them, you know?

>>17668256
Ive had a conversation at a party about being tall as a man.In this conversation I was the smallest person. The crux was that tall dudes tend to have an easier flirting life and better chances with women than smaller dudes (because of reasons not necessary to mention now)
And that ( rather tall) girl in that conversation said to me in private something like: its not always about the height, but what the persons skills are. she said that with that kind of I told you so look idk

What does this mean?
was she flirting? why wouldnt she say that in front of everybody

>>17668291
first you talk, then flirting naturally comes out. talk, eye contact, smile, confidence.

everyone "flirts" differently but you need to find your way by doing it

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>>17668325
Sounds like a variation on it's not the size that counts. Not sure if pic related is what you mean but if it was a dirty type of look then it was probably intended dirty otherwise she might have been trying to comfort you.

>>17668359
yeah more like that look
I guess you are right

>>17668359
she probably didn't want him to doubt himself or was trying to support himy a little which isn't a bad thing.

just don't do it constantly or you will create a mindset for yourself of being inferior and girls ando everybody will pick up on it.

I feel like relationships are completely impossible for me. I can't imagine myself with another person, and I find something reprehensible about courtship. I've never really felt the inclination to ask someone out, though I do get lonely on occasion. Is this just fear, or am I defective in some way? Perhaps I'm just someone that should stay alone?

>>17668325
the truth is height doesn't really matter
it's like tit size on a chick

>>17668426
why do you feel they are impossible for you?

I've made a thread about it, but I'm feeling anxious af and it's not getting replies. Hope you guys can help me.

So, I have this friend, we met at work (which I got fired because of reasons that have nothing to do with it) and we've been chatting like everyday for (almost) 2 months now. It's like we are quite close, talking about music, memes, stupid yt videos. That sort of trivial stuff. Once I told him we needed to go out and drink something, he "accepted" but I was talking with some closer mates (at least I thought we were) at work that I was going do go out with him, that it was a date. Few hours later, he textd me saying it was a misunderstanding, that he liked me but didn't have any second thoughts. Ok then, I pretended to be ok with it just to not look like a needy fool, or anything like that.

But the point is: I cannot stand it anymore lol
Seriously, I text each other like for hours and I think about him all the time, it's not healthy tho

So I was thinking about meeting him today to tell him about this but I feel so stupid, idk. I'm also afraid of his reaction, if he'd tell me not to talk with him again.

>>17668430
yeah, I'm more of an asset management myself and the last two girls I've been with didn't even have big butts lol.

>>17668390
fortunately I dated a few women, even 2 that were slightly taller than me. So no problem there. I just wanted to know if she might have something more in her mind

>>17668431
I'm not really sure how to explain it. I'm aware that relationships are a thing people generally do, but I have no concept of what they are like and I can't imagine myself in one, and I can't imagine any circumstances arising that would result in being in one. Also, it's not something I pursue at all.

>>17668445
do you want a relationship?

>>17668439
she was supportive and not dismissive so take that how you will.

only you were there and if you get the feeling she might have been letting you know she's interested than she probably is at least a little

>>17668455
Somewhat out of curiosity, and also to abate feelings of inadequacy with my peers. But I have no concept of what I'm missing, and most of the time I'm busy so it doesn't really bother me.

>>17668469
are you rich? I hear stories of sugar daddies who are too caught up in their work for a normal relationship so they find women to spend time with themail. I believe there'should a dating site for that kind of arrangement

>>17668476
No, I'm not rich.

>>17668476
Also, that kind of arrangement sounds offensive.

>>17668478
I mean it sounds like you're not to worried about it. Maybe you just need to meet more women because then maybe you might find somebody you fancy and get to know them and realize you enjoy spending time with them.

>>17668482
yeah I would never do it but I foubd an interesting post about it from the sugar baby perspective and it made it sound something akin to a geisha or paid company and not the trashy image I had in my head

Girl behaves noticeably different towards me than towards other people.
She seems kinda shy or nervous almost. But she is always "busy" when I try to meet up with her. (but claims that we should hangout, but never gets back to me)

I really don't know what her deal is.

If she saw me as just a friend, she would probably treat me the same as any other friend

If she saw me as more, then I would think that she would wanna do something one on one, and get back to me about meeting up

If she saw me as neither, she wouldn't carry on long conversations with detailed replies. Wouldn't claim that we should hang out, wouldn't have given me her number without hesitation

>>17668509
she might really be nervous and not want to mess up things with you. going out just the two of you might be too much pressure for her. if you have musual friends you can go on like a group outing but really just spend time with her like you're on a date

>>17668513
seconded. good advice

I'd advise everyone here to read the .pdf
The Way of the Superior Man
by David Deida, and other books by him
Also go download "The Blueprint Decoded" on torrent by Tyler Durden (Owen Cook) Real Social Dynamics. and watch the vidz on youtube. Get smart. Be authentic.
The one who is least attached yet most engaged wins.
Authenticity is freedom, and that is what attracts girls and make your life a true blessing.

>I want to suck your dick and ride you like seabiscuit

What did she mean by this

>>17668509
>Girl behaves noticeably different towards me than towards other people

could be a figment of your imagination

>>17668535
you got to read the signals. girls are usually really subtle compared to dudes when they're interested. if you think they might be then they probably are.

>>17668291
Flirting is just another word for hinting at someone you want to have sex without coming straight out and saying it.

I'm afraid I might be a player. As soon as a girl seems into me, I lose interest. It's destroyed 3 serious relationships so far. Is it possible I just haven't found the right girl yet or is it more likely it has something to do with me..?

>>17668542

>If you think they might be they probably are

Famous last words

The thing is, how can you know what shes like with other people? You might have really intimate late night chats with her, but unbeknown to you shes got 4 chat windows open with 3 other dudes

The only time you can be sure girls are giving you signals is when you force it out of em, especially because every girl is different

And by that I mean; my usual strat is teasing. Pokin and questioning

Like you ask her if shes into anyone and stuff. What her type is. But in a jokey windup way

You instigate the oppurtunity for intimate situations. Like tickling her and going for a hug and seeing how she responds

Like a soft touch. Like someone burning down a business for the insurance money, you make it look like an accident so you have plausible deniability

Same situation with girls. You're prodding to see if shes interested. If she is, boom. Mission accomplished. If she isnt, you're just fuckin about. No risk

>>17668426

i was in ways like you, i asked a girl out in college and got a flat out no. few days later, another girl said yeah. few months later she left me for another guy. went back to being a loner, thought i would be alone for many years

went out, met a girl at a coffee shop, stayed friends for a few months then she asked me out. she knew i have a cabin my parents gave me when my father died, she wanted to go with me. i gave her a room, she asked if i wanted to share a bed, we woke up in the morning and without a word stated kissing. we're getting married in a year and i cant really imagine life without her

all good things come in time, i honestly thought i would die alone

>>17668531

Real social dynamics is one of those things that you should really just incorporate into your entire way of thinking

Less guidlines on "how to live", more "A more fulfilling mindset".

If you know what I mean.

So many people mistake it for some kind of cheatsheet to rehearse and go out and use it to try and pickup girls.
When its more of a philosophy to believe in and live by

>>17668513
>>17668522

We kinda did that once. Still a bit awkward between us. I couldn't get anything arranged after that.

>>17668535
Doubtful. I remember distinctly that she would act much more shy with me. (On mobile so I can't really type much)

>>17668542
That is true I would say, but still varies heavily person to person. You can have a girl literally telling you to fuck her, and you still won't pick up on i

>>17668556
True. That could work. I'll just need to get into a conversation with her where that would not be too out of the blue

>>17668433
So, do you think you'd be good friends or do you think your romantic feelings will be a burden and will not go away? Tbh I think romantic feelings are hard to ignore. In which case: cut contact and move on.

>>17668556
>if you think they might they probably are

that is usually a sign to go for stuff that you mention touching, questions of availability, "flirting" basically. i'very been in a relationship for 4 Years maybe I don't know what I'm talking about anymore

Whay can a genetically undesirable man do to make himself attractive?

>>17668603

Being desirable for men consist of several factors such looks, smarts, education, natural charm/charisma and money/respectable career. You can compensate for the ones you lack by focusing on the others.

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My old thread, I'd like advice on:
>>17665469
>>17665469

I recently confirmed that my supervisor is indeed single.
I can't stop myself from wanting her. :(

I will /adv/ise other people here to recompensate.

>>17668589
I'm honestly thinking about cutting contact. Of course that'd be a pity, but I reckon that this kinda feeling won't go away so easy. And I don't think he'd say he feels the same about me.
I still feel sad about it. It sucks. I wish I could be friends with a person and don't fall in love with them.

Broke up with my high school sweetheart because I fell out of love.

If I feel this bad, I can only imagine how bad she feels right now.

>>17668583
At a computer now, so heres a bit more info

>She is shy, and kinda doesn't acknowledge me unless I say something, then we can talk for a good while without issue.

>Does not initiate texts, but is willing to talk for hours with detailed replies once I get her going

>I have seen her looking at me from a distance, sometimes locking eyes.

>When I asked for her number, she took my phone and punched it in. (It was the actual number, obviously)

>When I asked her to grab lunch the first time, she said she was busy that weekend, so I offered up Monday, which she accepted.

>>17668256
Whats the best ways to spike girls drinks these days?

It feels I missed out on free-for-all of the 1999s

>>17668513
>>17668583
Oh yea, forgot to mention, we don't really have any mutual friends. I am on OK terms with a friend of hers, but don't really like the guy.

Other than that, I don't know anyone that she's friends with. Same goes for her not knowing any of mine.

I very recently got out of a relationship and it was the only real relationship I ever had.

I'm still really depressed but I start to recover, I have no idea how to even start to look for another girl.

I am 22 and a pretty attractive guy, or so I've been told. I'm not fit but I'm skinny and tall. I go to a community college but I don't spend any down time there since I have to go to work immidiately after my classes.

Because of work and school I'm not able to go out much. How am I supposed to meet somebody? Is tinder still a thing? Should I just go to bars? I don't use my social media very much

>>17668325

She's probably dated or been with someone shorter than her that she was attracted too not because he was short or tall but because of his skills. Probably loved him and thought of him when you mentioned something like that. She didnt want to mention this in front of everyone probably because she was scared of getting shit talked on

I'm usually confident in my life. I can go up to girls and stay confident. The problems come when I talk. I make stupid jokes, I don't know what to answer to her, and I let "awkward silences" happen. How do I overcome this?

I just turn off when it comes to talking to attractive women. As soon as I say "Hi" I'm on autopilot and I fuck things up. When the conversation ends, I snap back and start thinking about the missed opportunities to say something endearing/funny or to touch the girl.

I know that practice is everything, but I can't seem to progress I "zone out" every single time. Any advice?


Also in need of advice on how to deal with "falling" for unattainable women. She's older and my superior (kinda) so it's a nobrainer. I still struggle though, can't get her out of my head. Had a one-night stand and I was thinking about her still. Sex won't help.

>>17669424

>I know that practice is everything, but I can't seem to progress IF I "zone out" every single time. Any advice?

Sorry anons kinda drunk here.

>>17668565
and when she divorces your ass two years down the line that cabin will be hers

>>17669379

reposting this here
anon said i fugged up
did i?

Are you supposed to disregard all advice and just be yourself with a girl?

>>17669462

It depends on who you are, what "being yourself" means, and what do you want from that specific girl.

Being yourself no matter what is usually a bad advice imo, but if you feel that there's a connection, show yourself, don't act.

I'm not attracted to people.

By that I don't mean I don't get sexually attracted, I mean that I don't want to advance on them. Someone might look cute and I'll talk to them and then they will bore me to bits and I don't want anything to do with them anymore. It's weird because I enjoy flirting and stuff but I haven't met someone I'm interested in for soon a year.

I read somewhere that this sort of thing might be related to break ups, and I did have a break up a year ago. I feel over it though so I would find it surprising if that turned out to be the case.

Either way, has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice on how to fix it?

How do i talk with people i've just met. Im kinda awkward when it comes to starting conversations and talking with people i dont know very good which results in unpleasant silence.

didn't see this thread but i'll repost

>>17669874

>>17669898
I don't know , but maybe I feel the same way. I've only been in one relationship before , so idk if it's a breakup thing, but basically I am not attracted to most people .

What I mean by this is that I am not a ONS dude , so while I look at a girl and I'm like "got daym bb u gots what I need" my brain is like "this girl is stupid , super boring , low confidence , etc, and probably wouldn't be good in the long run sans sex,"

I don't think I've ever met anybody that I knew for awhile before we got "intimate" or just friendly that I seriously started to crush and like them . I would even say I had a serious crush on my first and only girlfriend until a few months into the relationship and we became both like open books to where I genuinely liked her .

>>17669321
>Is tinder still a thing?
I met a girl I'm going to see again tomorrow through a similar service, so it might work

>Should I just go to bars?
Worst option. It's next to impossible to get anyone in a bar, let alone take forward in any meaningful way

All my other relationships have kind of happened by accident, so I can't really give solid advice.

>>17669916

You try (and fail) at it for a while until you learn.

I'm 27 years old, and I feel like it'll still be a few more years before I'm ready to give dating a try again. I'm getting worried I'll be too old to learn how to actually approach a girl at that point. At what point should I give up hope?

>>17670320

When you die. Until then, there's always hope.

I feel like I've never legit been in love. I've been in multiple long relationships (1-2 years) and in every single one of them I've ended up breaking up because I just didn't see things going anywhere. Everything is pleasant and okay but I don't feel satisfied and almost like I'm wasting their time. In most of these occasions I've made the other party suffer because they are/were in love with me.

I don't know why this is. Sometimes I think I should stop getting into relationships because I'm hurting people but I don't want to be alone forever, and I do try to make things work.

Does anyone think there might be something wrong with me? Please don't give me the "you just haven't met the right person" bullshit

bumpo

>>17670333

What are you looking for in a woman? What would make you love someone? What does it take for you to stay in a relationship?

Think about these questions and ask yourself if your desires are attainable realistically, or you set the bar too high.

I'm 21, very sexually frustrated. I barely meet girls, and when I meet them, I always try to get dates or something (without looking desperate) and I got shit luck. I don't know what it is with me.

Is tinder only for normal people? Do people meet future girlfriends on there? Or is it just for casual things? Would I be better off on something like okcupid?

>>17671363

Dating sites are shit. Dating apps are shit. Tinder is an exception.

It's for everyone. If you're weird as fuck you won't get many matches, but that's about it. You have a few lines and pictures to define yourself to others, so choose wisely.
If you're thinking about writing a short novel about your dreams and aspirations, listing 32523 mental health issues you have, save the effort and drop Tinder. Strive to be attractive.
Most matches start with a casual conversation, then comes a date, and it's up to you two to decide if it's a one-night stand, a fwb type of relationship, or a serious one.

>>17671403
I don't think I'm unattractive, maybe a little cause my teeth are shitty and my eyes aren't even but I'd say I'm average (I hope I'm atleast average). It's just I'm really really really bad at conversations with people and I feel like you need to be smooth to be on tinder. I also feel like it's pointless to not be honest about my social skills, I mean the person is going to find out anyway.

>>17671467
You have to be smooth, that's true. You can be smooth with practice though. Lots of Tinder-help threads on adv also, check them out if you're can of filtering BS advice from good ones.

Never point out your defects. If she's going to find out about them, there's no need to tell her anyway. It just makes things worse, scares off women who'd otherwise talk to you.

>>17671523

Inb4 shitty grammar: I knoticed.

>>17671523
Thank you
There may be hope for me then, now all I got to do is get the confidence to actually make an account.

I've pretty much stopped giving a shit and let go.

I've tried everything under the sun to get a girl, said the right things, used charm, I know how to flirt, i dress nice, but none of it worked. I really dont give a fuck when I go out now. Don't care how I dress, wear a hat if hairs fucked because i don't bother to shower most of the time, and generally just say whatever when people talk to me. I've given up on finding a girl really. I'll just go back to what i did when I was 14 and troll women because they reject me as whole. Fuck em.

>>17668616
Hey, if she's already nice to you like that and you like her you need to start the flirting stage, but being socially awkward you should do this as subtly as possible. If you don't like her I think she just considers you a friend already, but not so much so you'll get "friend-zoned". Go for it anon.