I just realized my (ex) boyfriend has depression. I only broke

>>17559417
It's okay.
I think all guys know by now that women aren't capable of love or loyalty, so if they dump us, we're not that surprised anymore and just move on to another slut.

>>17559417
It's not "just" depression. It's absolutely something worth breaking up over, especially if he doesn't even acknowledge it himself.

I can understand wanting to help, but you have to realize you probably can't, especially if see above. In fact breaking up with him might've been the best thing you could've done, since depressed people often do not seek help and change their ways until the absolutely have to, until everything in their life comes crushing down.

If you had stayed with him you probably would've had to endure months or years of the same behavior you broke up with him over. At some point you have to look out for yourself and I think it's better you do it sooner than later.

Let's be honest, you're an asshole. You say how long you've known him, you suspected he was depressed but weren't sure. Clearly you don't love this guy. Leave him the hell alone, he deserves better than you.

>>17559436
>especially if he doesn't even acknowledge it himself.
I don't know that he's deliberately refusing to acknowledge it. I think he legitimately hasn't realized it like I managed not to until just now. His motivation issues aren't that bad, and you wouldn't know he was withdrawing unless you knew him really well. Only myself and his two closest friends have picked up on it I think.

>If you had stayed with him you probably would've had to endure months or years of the same behavior you broke up with him over. At some point you have to look out for yourself and I think it's better you do it sooner than later.
I want to be there for him even if it takes years, even if it's never fully better. I don't care. Now that I understand what the problem is that puts it all in a different light. Being there for him would make me happy and be immensely rewarding, even if it's extremely hard and painful in the interim.

>>17559436
Don't listen to this post at all OP

It was either written by fedora tipping white knight or fat lonely tumblrtard

>>17559455
I think this part is accurate
>If you had stayed with him you probably would've had to endure months or years of the same behavior
But I'm of the opinion that it's worth sticking it out anyway, now that I know why he's been acting the way he has, that it's fixable, and that he's not just avoiding fixing things because he doesn't want to, but because he's struggling with it, that changes everything.

I just don't know how to approach him about this and make him listen to me and believe me when I say he can get through it. I don't want him to suffer.

>>17559417
Contact him asap, in person if possible.

Talk about what you noticed about him.
maybe he noticed all these issues himself but is in denial, and you saying them out loud makes the problem real for him.

But please don't consider it "just" depression. Real proper depression is lethal. Be serious about it.

>>17559465
Go over to his place and knock on his door and hug him and tell him you love him.

Just try to show you really do care.

>>17559472
>>17559474
He's asleep right now. Plus I have work in the morning. Earliest possible time I could contact him is after I get off work at 6 tomorrow. I wish I could though.

>But please don't consider it "just" depression. Real proper depression is lethal. Be serious about it.
I am. Depression is incredibly serious, that's why I put quotes around it, because "just" depression isn't something anyone should ever say. I meant "just" depression as in not him hating me or not wanting to be in the relationship anymore, or sadistic personality disorder or something.

>>17559484
Alright, that's good.

>>17559484
Then do what you think is right op.

The best advice any one can give you is if you truly love him, don't let him go and do everything you can for him.

If you cant do that, leave him be.

>>17559495
I do plan to, I'm just scared my attempts to reach out are going to be shut down. He's been doing that lately, before I broke up with him, now he'll have even more reason to. I'm not sure how I can break through that. I love him and I want us to work out, but even more than that I don't want him to be alone. I don't want him to not get treatment and continue to suffer through this. I want to help and be there for him, and if I can't then I at least want to enable him to get help from a professional.

>>17559518
Cry when you see him and say you're sorry and you don't wanna be without him

Only if you can really do it though.

From what I've learned the only time I ever let people in was when they showed weakness. Because only someone that really cares would let down their guard and turn into a mess all because of wanting to help you.

>>17559532
I'll do my best to be vulnerable and let my guard down. I think that you're right and that it could help. Thank you.

>>17559572
Don't sweat it.

Just love your boyfriend and be loyal. Dont take him for granted. Make him happy and do whatever you can think of

If hes truly suffering then all the things he's done to make you happy and such have been insanely hard.

You shouldn't have a problem doing the same for him if you do love him

I call BS, how does a guy with depression even get a gf in the first place? Females only want confident Chads.

>>17559584
>>>/r9k/

>>17559589
Send me to /r9k/ all you want but you can't deny the truth.
That's what all you normalfags ever do, call us 'virgins' and tell us to 'go back to /r9k/' because you can't accept the truth.

>>17559595
Obviously it's not the truth, you fucking retard.

My advice to you if you truly want to be happy: fix yourself. Fix your mindset. Go to the gym. Go to school/ get a real job. Quit being a lazy sack of shit with zero redeeming qualities, and at the same time, wonder why women don't want you. Would you pay any attention to a lazy, stupid, jaded, fat and ugly woman?

I am done with my rant, you are shit and will amount to nothing.

>>17559610
So much normalfaggotry in one post I almost puked.
Literally:
>STOP BEING A VIRGIN YOU FUCKING VIRGIN

I don't even care about women wanting me, I never tried because I knew better, but I can see what's going on around me and it's fucking obvious.

>>17559610
>meme advice

kys

>>17559584
I have depression and don't have issues getting girls. Currently with gf of 2.5yrs. Depression can be worked with especially because it's not always on.

It helps to pick girls that are not fully normal themselves.

>>17559632
Then you don't have actual depression you fucking normalfag.

I doubt you're literally friendless and completely apathetic to everything.

>>17559671
When I'm depressed I am. I don't function during those periods. Like I said eventually it ends because it's cyclical. I'm also an alcoholic and trying not to drink.

Why are you so upset?

>>17559683
Depression isn't a 'cyclical' thing.
You think because you get sad sometimes you're depressed? You fucking normalfags really have no clue whatsoever.

>>17559690
Who made you an expert. If you're so depressed and angry why don't you just kill yourself?

>>17559693
Because I don't care.
That's what depression is. Apathy.
I should care I'm 25 and a complete failure in life, but no matter how much I force myself to care, I can't.
So I get angry instead.

To be really honest, I would have propably shot up a school by now if I could get a gun but fucking EU gun laws cuck me out of my revenge against you normies.

>>17559698
You're too angry to be depressed. Fucking liar

>>17559704
I was actually diagnosed with 'heavy depression' or whatever it's called in english.

I stopped therapy and meds years ago, I didn't care anymore.

>>17559708
I'm just messing with you. One thing depression gave me is the ability to try saying things I don't really care about, just to see how others react.

I know I've always had depression because I've always stirred up trouble to figure out what's going on

>>17559708
I have a different depression from you. The only advice I have is that I value my depression and it is part of my personality. I think you can still follow whatever you're calling is in life too.

I challenge you to consider that your heavy depression isn't what's really holding you back from what you want to do. You are in your own way and the best thing you could do is to get out of your own way.

>>17559671
depression isn't necessarily a 24/7 thing at all.

>>17559690
Depression isn't a 24/7 thing, if it was people wouldn't be able to recover from it period, it's a state of mind, but often constant.

>>17559417
First and most important:
You've got a classic case of what I call cancer vs asshole syndrome. The fact that he's sick shouldn't mean anything for you to think you should have stayed with him, the dude's being distant and a crappy boyfriend for you and you deserve better.
Second, if you wanna help (10 years of caring, I know) be upfront about it but do it in a friendly way not a romantic one and if the dude's still pushing you back or denying he's sick then your job is done. You can't help someone who doesn't want help. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

>>17559698
Except it's not, people with depression often care about themselves andothers, their lives, etc and feel bad about their situation. Depression isn't not caring, it's the inability to do something about it. You're just an asshole. But if you're happy being who you are there's nothing wrong with that